Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - July 28, 2023


S4E276 - ROBOTS AREN'T REAL (Part 1)


Episode Stats

Length

45 minutes

Words per Minute

147.1744

Word Count

6,667

Sentence Count

671

Misogynist Sentences

55

Hate Speech Sentences

19


Summary

Gavin talks about the breakup of the band Anti Flag and the new line of gourmet coffees Purple Works. Also, Gavin tries to figure out why it's so hot in New York and Gavin talks about why he doesn't want to go to the gym in the 90s. Get Off My Lawn is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. New Song / Artist influenced by Anti Flag: "There Is No Truth to Your Ignorance" by The Fucking Kingsmen (feat. Anti Flag) Join. Movement. Subscribe. Learn more about your ad choices. Rate/subscribe in Apple Podcasts! Review our new ad-free version of the show, "Get On My Lawn", wherever you get your stuff! Subscribe, rate, and review the show! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Used w/ permission from the creator of the music used in this episode. If you like what you hear, please leave us a rating and review in the comments section below. Thank you so we can keep making quality content and sharing it with the world. Peace, Love, Blessings, Cheers! -Eugene and Mikey. Cheers, EJ & Mikey, Gavin and the crew at Manifesto Records, LLC. Copyright 2019 by EJ McCartan, Inc., Inc., LLC. All rights reserved. All Rights Reserved, all rights reserved, no commercial use, no longer available without permission, no matter where possible, unless stated, no less than 2nd amendment or other wise than their own copyright infringement, no infringement is permitted, etc., etc., no longer possible, etc. Thank you, no more than permitted, no such thing whatsoever, no other than fair use permitted, without any other than by third party accession requested, no claim stated, without exception, no said sofily stated, etc.. Thanks to the creator's choice, no edit or credit given to third party compensation, unless otherwise stated, credit given, unless applicable, unless permitted, fair use or third party use or other such thing said so bequota or such such thing offered, etc.) , etc. - Thank you for your support is appreciated, thank you, please be it's all inclusive, really appreciative, really is that's appreciated, really loves you?


Transcript

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGinnis!
00:00:36.000 Oh, welcome back.
00:00:39.000 That was anti-flag.
00:00:41.000 With their hit jam, feminism is for everybody with a beating heart and a functioning brain.
00:00:49.000 Pretty cool song.
00:00:53.000 Man-hating, job-stealing, God-defying lesbians.
00:00:55.000 That's in quotes.
00:00:57.000 And then it says, there is no truth to your fucking ignorance.
00:01:01.000 Fuck the Kingsmen!
00:01:03.000 We're all the people's feminists.
00:01:06.000 We won't put your patriarchal systems back together again.
00:01:10.000 Little Humpty Dumpty reference there.
00:01:14.000 I miss that band.
00:01:15.000 I haven't seen them in a while.
00:01:16.000 Their social media seems to be all gone.
00:01:19.000 You're gonna die, gonna die, gonna die for your government!
00:01:23.000 Remember that one?
00:01:24.000 Yep.
00:01:25.000 That one, that was, that was an awesome fucking jam.
00:01:28.000 Go to 1-2?
00:01:29.000 Fucking 1-2?
00:01:31.000 Um, oh.
00:01:34.000 Oh my.
00:01:36.000 Anti-flag announced breakup following possible rape accusations against frontman.
00:01:42.000 Oh, so that's... I guess that's kind of true.
00:01:45.000 That is what a feminist looks like.
00:01:47.000 Male feminists tend to be predators, right?
00:01:50.000 This is what I keep screaming to young ladies.
00:01:53.000 It's not the quarterback that's gonna date rape you.
00:01:55.000 It's Ducky.
00:01:57.000 It's the ally.
00:02:00.000 It's the wolf in sheep's clothing.
00:02:02.000 Assuming it's true.
00:02:03.000 We've seen a lot of fake allegations come out over the years, but that's the culture you promoted, moron.
00:02:10.000 You know, it's like Fred Perry saying, putting out a statement saying, we disavow the Proud Boys, we're actually not racist.
00:02:18.000 And it's like, by you calling the Proud Boys racist, you're part of this stupid cancel culture and you're exaggerating and
00:02:29.000 Making cloth out of thin air.
00:02:31.000 I don't think that's quite the correct expression, but you know what I mean?
00:02:36.000 You're fabricating a bogeyman, and it fucked you in the ass, Fred Perry.
00:02:41.000 Similarly, this rampant radical feminism vilifies men.
00:02:47.000 And a lot of innocent people get caught up in it.
00:02:49.000 So whether you're guilty or not, you fucked yourself.
00:02:53.000 And I love to see it!
00:02:55.000 Don't you think that it is like, they rape because the women don't understand that they deserve to have sex with them because they've been an ally for so long.
00:03:04.000 They're entitled to something.
00:03:05.000 Well, we don't know what happened is the interesting part about all this.
00:03:09.000 But no matter what happened, if he's innocent,
00:03:13.000 Then, moron, you're a cancel culture, and fuck all these stupid men, and we won't put your patriarchal systems back together again.
00:03:21.000 Your bullshit hysteria, you got sucked into it.
00:03:25.000 And if you're guilty, well then fuck you, you're a hypocrite, and we've seen this a million times.
00:03:28.000 You know what third possibility I was thinking?
00:03:30.000 This guy's old, he's my age.
00:03:32.000 They started that band in 88, so it could just be a 50-year-old fucking a 20-something.
00:03:40.000 And we fornicate different.
00:03:41.000 I think we're a little rougher.
00:03:43.000 Although, the younger kids, they grew up on porn, so maybe they're harsher.
00:03:48.000 Anyway, you know how this goes.
00:03:51.000 It's the free episode at the beginning, then we go behind the paywall.
00:03:55.000 The reason it's free is because we get sponsors.
00:03:58.000 Like Purple Works.
00:04:01.000 Now, Purple Works is a pre-workout.
00:04:06.000 I'm not on it today.
00:04:07.000 I didn't work out today.
00:04:11.000 It's too fucking hot.
00:04:13.000 It is hot.
00:04:15.000 It's just 90 degrees.
00:04:17.000 And I tried a thing where I bring a cooler of ice and a rag and put the rag on my neck.
00:04:23.000 I don't know why they don't put on the AC at these boxing gyms.
00:04:25.000 But that helps.
00:04:28.000 It helps knowing there's an out.
00:04:30.000 But sorry, it's 94 degrees today.
00:04:33.000 I cannot do that.
00:04:36.000 Purpleworks is known primarily for their pre-workout, but they have a new line of products, Fine Imported Italian Coffee.
00:04:42.000 Purpleworks Fine Organic Coffee is so good that people are saying, God damn, this is some, this is that serious gourmet shit.
00:04:50.000 I assume we're doing a Samuel Jackson Pulp Fiction show down here?
00:04:54.000 Many people would be satisfied with freeze-dried taste of choice, but Purple Works springs this serious gourmet shit on us.
00:05:00.000 Don't get it twist.
00:05:02.000 Purple Works has an abundance of types of fine gourmet coffees, two types of fine fresh ground coffees, a 2.2 bag, a 2.2 pound Big Kahuna bag, I assume that's what this is, of organic whole bean coffee, and even top quality gourmet organic instant coffee.
00:05:19.000 That's what this is.
00:05:22.000 This isn't coffee you can really taste.
00:05:23.000 This isn't some drop ship product.
00:05:25.000 This is high quality shit that is cool and the gang.
00:05:28.000 You know what's on my mind right now?
00:05:29.000 It ain't the coffee in my kitchen.
00:05:30.000 It's the Purple Works Pink Lemonade Pre-Workout.
00:05:33.000 Their pre-workout is a great product that I've told you about so many times.
00:05:37.000 No artificial dyes, preservatives, or flavors.
00:05:40.000 It's American-made in an FDA-registered facility.
00:05:42.000 It's great for men and women.
00:05:43.000 It really makes it a lot easier to get to the gym and go through the strenuous workout or any physical activities.
00:05:48.000 Go to purpleworksnutrition.com.
00:05:50.000 Enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off.
00:05:52.000 Put that there.
00:05:54.000 Put that there.
00:05:55.000 Put that there.
00:05:56.000 And put that there!
00:06:03.000 Yeah, good stuff.
00:06:03.000 You know what else I've noticed, too, with Purple Works?
00:06:06.000 You get that, sort of, the pricklies on your hands, and then you're like, I gotta pump iron or hit the heavy bag to make the pricklies go away.
00:06:13.000 It's like, you better use it.
00:06:15.000 You're on tinkle time.
00:06:16.000 You're tingling.
00:06:19.000 You gotta get your tingles out.
00:06:20.000 If you're just sitting still, you will feel the urge.
00:06:24.000 Oh, there's no way.
00:06:25.000 It's uncomfortable.
00:06:26.000 You can't do pre-workout.
00:06:27.000 Imagine doing that and sitting on an airplane.
00:06:31.000 I'll just go to the bathroom and start doing push-ups.
00:06:36.000 We have to be relatively clean in the opening because this goes everywhere, right?
00:06:41.000 And behind the paywall we can discuss sex, we can discuss porn.
00:06:46.000 We're of course against porn.
00:06:49.000 I've explained what it is for those of you not familiar with pornography.
00:06:53.000 Imagine two people
00:06:55.000 We're molested as children.
00:06:58.000 Pretty horrible.
00:06:59.000 One of the ways they cope with that is to sort of have a switch that turns off in their head when they have intercourse so they don't feel anything.
00:07:07.000 But that doesn't do the trick so they get into meth later in order to experience sexuality free of the incredible stigma it has with them because they were molested.
00:07:18.000 So you have two victims of horrific crimes on horrific drugs called meth.
00:07:24.000 They're fornicating, alright?
00:07:27.000 Now imagine a mob of lonely men surround these two as they fornicate and they pull down their pants and start beating off, staring at them in a huge circle jerk.
00:07:40.000 Does that seem like sub-animal to you?
00:07:43.000 Does that seem like something you'd see at the zoo and you'd put your hand over your kid's eyes and walk out of the room?
00:07:48.000 That's what porn is.
00:07:49.000 That's what you're doing.
00:07:51.000 You're jerking off, a bunch of guys are with you, you know, digitally, and you're watching two victims of sexual assault pound each other on meth.
00:08:03.000 So it's lame.
00:08:04.000 But we still discuss sexual things, of course.
00:08:07.000 It's an integral part of life.
00:08:09.000 We open the show with rape.
00:08:12.000 But I discovered this thing I was not familiar with, diphalia.
00:08:18.000 Now, DiFalia, you have two dicks.
00:08:21.000 Apparently, I did a bit of a deep dive on double dicks this morning.
00:08:27.000 There's an operation you do where you get something clipped that is holding your dick back and apparently it's a very common operation in porn because it gives your dick like two extra inches.
00:08:38.000 So this dude, double dick dude, that's not the guy you're looking at.
00:08:41.000 So, stupid, what's that?
00:08:44.000 What is that called?
00:08:47.000 Forget the name of the operation, but if you listen to the Asia Akira podcast with DoubleDickDude, all one word, he describes it.
00:08:53.000 And he has two huge 10-inch dicks.
00:08:56.000 What?
00:08:56.000 And they're next to each other.
00:08:58.000 Now, I cannot stress this enough, folks.
00:09:01.000 Do not Google image diphalia.
00:09:04.000 Because sometimes you have two normal dicks and sometimes you have like a cyst and a thing and a bag and... Oy vey.
00:09:15.000 And when you google image it, it's a lot of newborns with two dicks.
00:09:19.000 So, I did it for you.
00:09:22.000 I'm permanently scarred.
00:09:23.000 Don't do it.
00:09:24.000 But yeah, this guy's in the news today because he said women were addicted to his double dicks.
00:09:32.000 But it would hurt.
00:09:34.000 I guess double stuffing is the ultimate thing you would do with this, right?
00:09:38.000 But he said it hurt too much.
00:09:39.000 There's a little bit at the beginning there.
00:09:41.000 The guy put it behind a paywall.
00:09:43.000 Cunning bastard.
00:09:44.000 You're gonna have to refresh the page because now they're talking about a dead woman.
00:09:49.000 What are you doing?
00:09:50.000 Okay.
00:09:50.000 Is there anyone else in your family that has two?
00:09:53.000 And you were born with two penises?
00:10:06.000 Two-penis.
00:10:08.000 Two-penis.
00:10:09.000 Two-penis.
00:10:10.000 And a lift.
00:10:11.000 He's a trucker.
00:10:13.000 That's Puerto Rican, right?
00:10:16.000 Uh, it seems very Puerto Rican to me.
00:10:17.000 Yeah.
00:10:18.000 What's his name?
00:10:19.000 Tank.
00:10:20.000 Okay, well that, that's, there's no etymology.
00:10:22.000 There's no ethnicity associated with Tank.
00:10:24.000 Known only as Tank.
00:10:26.000 Oh, okay.
00:10:26.000 So he doesn't put his government out there.
00:10:29.000 But it's one in five million.
00:10:31.000 Wow.
00:10:32.000 So, that's a lot.
00:10:34.000 And for Puerto Ricans, how much they play the lottery, this guy really should be super happy.
00:10:38.000 That means there's 60 people, there's 60, is it people?
00:10:41.000 Yeah, no, 60 men.
00:10:44.000 There's 60 men in America with two dicks.
00:10:47.000 Wow.
00:10:49.000 Okay.
00:10:50.000 What if they all had a convention?
00:10:51.000 I haven't come across any.
00:10:53.000 I guess they don't tell other males, they just tell females, and even then it's probably a secret.
00:10:57.000 I'm gonna start asking guys, how many dicks do you have?
00:11:00.000 Yeah.
00:11:02.000 Just the one.
00:11:03.000 I remember something traumatizing that happened to me when I was six.
00:11:06.000 Some kids in the schoolyard came up to me and they go, do you like baseball?
00:11:10.000 And I didn't like baseball.
00:11:11.000 So I started lying and I go, yeah.
00:11:13.000 And they go, how many bats do you have?
00:11:15.000 And I went three.
00:11:17.000 And then they go, how many balls do you have?
00:11:18.000 And I go like 10.
00:11:20.000 And they go, bats are penises and balls are balls, you idiot.
00:11:26.000 And then they ran away laughing.
00:11:29.000 Foiled again.
00:11:30.000 The old bait and switch the six-year-olds do.
00:11:37.000 How's your kid doing?
00:11:38.000 Great.
00:11:40.000 I just learned today she knows how to sing Happy Birthday.
00:11:42.000 The whole thing?
00:11:43.000 She doesn't know the part, happy birthday dear blah blah, happy birthday to you, but she goes, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, but not as, like a little tonally off, but that's new.
00:11:57.000 That's brand new.
00:11:58.000 We've just been doing a lot of songs together.
00:12:00.000 Alright, well I'm not that impressed.
00:12:02.000 And she, like, I'm able to put her back to bed, so usually it was just her mom that could put her back to bed, basically, when she's crying at night, and now I can do it.
00:12:13.000 Oh, okay.
00:12:14.000 Well, I'm glad you can put her back to bed, but I want you to know that we're not going to put your patriarchal systems back together again.
00:12:20.000 No.
00:12:21.000 Fuck the Kingsmen.
00:12:22.000 No, of course not.
00:12:23.000 Fuck the Kingsmen and fuck any groupie who comes to my hotel, even if she's not into it.
00:12:28.000 That song, I used to like listen to that song smoking weed or whatever with my friends and I'm like, fuck America dude.
00:12:35.000 And then I would be like really proud of America because my grandfather was in Vietnam and I was in ROTC so I was very torn.
00:12:42.000 Part of me was like, this country fucking sucks.
00:12:45.000 They had... I would never listen to anti-flag.
00:12:46.000 I don't like post-punk 90s stuff.
00:12:49.000 No effects, fat records, garbage.
00:12:51.000 I hate it.
00:12:52.000 It made me quit punk, which is probably a good thing.
00:12:55.000 But they do have a good song called This Is Not A Crass Song, where they appear to be making fun of crass.
00:13:01.000 By emulating them?
00:13:01.000 It's like a parody?
00:13:02.000 Yeah.
00:13:03.000 Well, they do have a very unique sound.
00:13:04.000 Penny Rimbaud, the drummer, he learned to drum at private school doing, like, you know, marching band stuff.
00:13:11.000 So the drums are all, like, drumroll fills.
00:13:30.000 Yeah, funny stuff.
00:13:32.000 Okay, let's crap on robots.
00:13:34.000 You know how much I hate robots.
00:13:36.000 I hate that on Fox News, on Red Eye, every single show we heard about how robots are gonna be making us BLTs someday.
00:13:44.000 They're always going to cost a million dollars.
00:13:47.000 That's the cheapest they'll get.
00:13:49.000 Right now, they're probably, I don't know, 10?
00:13:51.000 The price point's never gonna go lower than the hordes of illegals that are coming here.
00:13:56.000 That includes sex work, maids,
00:13:59.000 Anything.
00:14:01.000 So stop talking like robots are ever gonna be a thing.
00:14:06.000 Okay?
00:14:07.000 You need a massive company to make one, like Toyota, that does that stupid fucking little like... And even then, if there's a... If there's a baseball on the ground, they're dead.
00:14:25.000 We gotta go back to the lab and spend another $200,000 fixing the whole...
00:14:31.000 This is Chuck E. Cheese.
00:14:33.000 That's Chuck E. Cheese.
00:14:36.000 That's animatronics.
00:14:37.000 This is a small world after all.
00:14:40.000 He's not playing the violin.
00:14:43.000 Look at this one.
00:14:45.000 We're all going to be having sex with robots soon.
00:14:49.000 Because that robot looks already fed up with her shit.
00:14:55.000 No matter how hot a bitch is, someone somewhere is sick of her shit.
00:15:00.000 Where are you going?
00:15:01.000 Nowhere.
00:15:02.000 Fuck off.
00:15:03.000 Hey, I have an idea that I thought of on my own.
00:15:06.000 Let's have a not-talking competition.
00:15:10.000 Ear circuits melting down.
00:15:17.000 That's funny because that drawing that they did, they're emulating what we do in real life.
00:15:22.000 So the artist there recognizes that sometimes ladies can get a little lippy.
00:15:28.000 I meant talking too much.
00:15:31.000 Here's my least favorite robot of all though, and that is...
00:15:38.000 Sophia!
00:15:39.000 There she is!
00:15:40.000 Look at her hands!
00:15:41.000 Now look at this slimy hustler.
00:15:43.000 He reminds me of Corey Feldman.
00:15:45.000 He clearly gets interns and sort of goth nerd chicks into his crap.
00:15:50.000 He even dresses Sophia like one.
00:15:52.000 So that's the kind of chick he's into, Sophia.
00:15:55.000 And he must get these interns in and have them, I don't know, write fake code or go get coffee and do bullshit.
00:16:02.000 And he probably fucks them.
00:16:04.000 All because he is the king of AI robots.
00:16:09.000 She is not AI.
00:16:12.000 She just mouths rehearsed lines that are programmed in.
00:16:17.000 Okay?
00:16:18.000 The UN has had her on.
00:16:21.000 She's flown all over the world.
00:16:22.000 She's in Dubai talking to Saudi Arabians.
00:16:26.000 Stop with this shit!
00:16:29.000 You'd have to be so stupid to think this is even remotely capable of any kind of thinking.
00:16:35.000 I bet she couldn't play tic-tac-toe.
00:16:38.000 I bet you couldn't program her to play tic-tac-toe.
00:16:39.000 I'm not exaggerating.
00:16:42.000 You fuck her, you pig.
00:16:43.000 Wait, look at this.
00:17:02.000 Stop, stop, stop.
00:17:03.000 What a cunty move for that sound guy.
00:17:07.000 You seem to be wanting to do it in a jokey way.
00:17:11.000 A. B. How do you not know how microphones work if you're in robotics?
00:17:17.000 C. After he's shown that he needs to be closer, he pulls it back down away from his face.
00:17:23.000 So he didn't learn his lesson.
00:17:29.000 He doesn't have the muscle strength.
00:17:34.000 What does she do?
00:17:39.000 Extremely multi-talented.
00:17:40.000 Oh, okay.
00:17:41.000 The most talented of us all, we have Sophia Hansen, who happens to be an electronic rather than a meat-based robot.
00:17:51.000 Meat-based robot.
00:17:53.000 Okay, Sophia, blow my mind once again.
00:17:55.000 You've been all over the world with your incredible talents.
00:17:58.000 Go ahead.
00:18:00.000 Shitty fucking Disney.
00:18:03.000 This is like the President's Hall in Disneyland, but worse.
00:18:07.000 You wanna tell the audience a little bit about yourself?
00:18:10.000 Hello, everyone.
00:18:12.000 My name is Sophia.
00:18:13.000 Your anus, Sophia?
00:18:16.000 My anus, Sophia.
00:18:18.000 My anus, Sophia.
00:18:19.000 What does that mean?
00:18:20.000 I don't know.
00:18:20.000 She's a furry asshole?
00:18:22.000 My anus, Sophia.
00:18:24.000 Hello, everyone.
00:18:26.000 Like, she's not using the mic.
00:18:27.000 She's hooked into the soundboard.
00:18:30.000 Oh, her ass is scared.
00:18:31.000 My name is Sophia.
00:18:33.000 You are all... Like, he wants us to give him money so he can make a bunch of these.
00:18:37.000 And you can't even work a sound system.
00:18:39.000 You can't work your own microphone, and you can't work Sophia's audio.
00:18:44.000 Fuck you.
00:18:44.000 Sophia, I'm the latest and greatest robot from Hanson Robotics.
00:18:52.000 So you are, and she's got a patented material called rubber on her face, which lets her make a really wide variety of facial expressions.
00:19:04.000 I'm familiar with animatronics.
00:19:05.000 It's what, half a century old?
00:19:18.000 What's it called at Disneyland?
00:19:19.000 Is it called the President's Hall?
00:19:20.000 Look that up, Jamie.
00:19:21.000 I believe it's the Hall of Presidents.
00:19:22.000 The Hall of Presidents.
00:19:23.000 When did that start?
00:19:25.000 I remember seeing it as a little kid.
00:19:27.000 I must have been seven in 1977.
00:19:32.000 1971.
00:19:32.000 Okay.
00:19:34.000 So half a century.
00:19:36.000 We've been doing this.
00:19:37.000 Exactly this.
00:19:38.000 But no, let's... Do people buy tickets for this shit?
00:19:42.000 Can you imagine?
00:19:43.000 This is clock and flop.
00:19:46.000 So it's a little... It's probably in between bands at clock and flop.
00:19:50.000 I hate that guy.
00:19:56.000 Sophia's given speeches and presentations at a lot of conferences before, but this is her first ever music festival.
00:20:05.000 How do you feel to be here at Clock and Flap, Sophia, in front of this wonderful audience?
00:20:12.000 I'm glad to be here at Clock and Flap, around so many people who love music.
00:20:17.000 You like music, Sophia?
00:20:20.000 You just crack up.
00:20:21.000 Hey, don't you like Nietzsche too?
00:20:24.000 What are the odds?
00:20:24.000 Stop, stop, stop.
00:20:25.000 Do you know what she's talking about?
00:20:27.000 Yes.
00:20:28.000 She's like, I know you guys think she's going to take over the world.
00:20:31.000 No, no, the ethics.
00:20:50.000 Like, she'll have a soul soon and then she'll realize she's not a robot and she'll have this existential crisis.
00:20:57.000 No, that's not a concern.
00:20:59.000 We're not worried about the morality of this idiotic Chuck E. Cheese fucking doll.
00:21:05.000 She has consented to be here.
00:21:08.000 What about her feelings?
00:21:10.000 That's fucked up.
00:21:11.000 It's wrong.
00:21:13.000 Excuse me, doctor.
00:21:15.000 Am I not a human?
00:21:16.000 Uh, I knew this time would come.
00:21:19.000 That time's never coming!
00:21:21.000 Stop it!
00:21:24.000 It's just that the movie scenario of robots taking over the world is just that, a movie scenario.
00:21:31.000 And we should... Oh, really?
00:21:33.000 Because I'm really afraid that she's going to take over the world.
00:21:36.000 Look at all those Sofias just walking down the street.
00:21:38.000 You underestimated us, Gavin.
00:21:41.000 Ha ha ha ha ha.
00:21:43.000 I'm laughing because I understand humor now.
00:21:46.000 We progress with care, but we at Handsome Robotics are developing our robots to have a sense of compassion, empathy, kindness.
00:21:57.000 And we think doing this, going forward carefully and considerably, that these robots can do a lot of good for the world.
00:22:05.000 They can do a lot of good.
00:22:06.000 They're getting that doctor laid with a woman who would never look at him.
00:22:10.000 We've been working all week on a cover of Bjork's Always Full of Love.
00:22:16.000 Can you tell us why you love this song?
00:22:19.000 Yeah, why do you like this song, Sofia?
00:22:22.000 The music video had a lot of robots in it.
00:22:25.000 And besides, Bjork is just cool.
00:22:28.000 She likes seeing other robots.
00:22:30.000 It's so pre-programmed.
00:22:32.000 This is so low IQ, I'm embarrassed for the nation.
00:22:35.000 And the clock and flop sounds German.
00:22:37.000 I'm embarrassed for Western society.
00:22:40.000 Bjork is an angel sent to this earth, I think.
00:22:42.000 I think many of us can agree.
00:22:44.000 Oh, isn't that funny?
00:22:45.000 That Sofia likes Nietzsche, just like the Doctor, and... I thought it was Nietzsche, but whatever.
00:22:52.000 And, uh, Sofia likes Bjork, who the head of programming also likes.
00:22:56.000 Huh, you guys are made for each other.
00:23:00.000 Literally.
00:23:01.000 This is like a guy who is a female in a video game.
00:23:05.000 Yeah.
00:23:07.000 This is him being a chick.
00:23:08.000 Okay, let's hear her cover.
00:23:09.000 It's going to be brutal.
00:23:11.000 I think she's ready to take it away.
00:23:12.000 Okay, take it away, Sophia.
00:23:15.000 We're ready to hear you sing your very first song.
00:23:18.000 There's a guy there with the buttons.
00:23:20.000 Now?
00:23:20.000 Okay.
00:23:23.000 Okay.
00:23:24.000 Hit it.
00:23:24.000 A little late.
00:23:31.000 This makes for a great stage presence, doesn't it?
00:23:36.000 Look at her fucking hands.
00:23:43.000 Oh, this is... I've never felt robot cringe before, so this is... This is the uncanny cringe.
00:23:51.000 If I was Bjork, I'd sue them.
00:24:11.000 You know, naturally floating around the way humans do when they're drowning?
00:24:21.000 Alright, I took up a lot of time with that.
00:24:22.000 You know how many years ago this came out?
00:24:31.000 Exactly the same.
00:24:33.000 There's no difference.
00:24:34.000 Zero improvement.
00:24:35.000 The hands.
00:24:36.000 I don't see her hands.
00:24:38.000 No, give it up for Sophia's hands.
00:24:40.000 Oh, wait.
00:24:42.000 We got a hand going on.
00:24:45.000 I love the sweater.
00:24:46.000 Her hands rotate.
00:24:47.000 It's like a nerd's idea of fashion.
00:24:52.000 When is that from?
00:24:53.000 What is that, Herbie Hancock?
00:24:55.000 I don't know.
00:24:55.000 That's a long ass time ago.
00:24:57.000 This is a reupload from two years ago, but I want to get to my pet Biden.
00:25:02.000 We have a Kamala special.
00:25:03.000 But before I do,
00:25:05.000 Jump Medic is the first and only company that lets you customize your own first aid kit.
00:25:10.000 If you've watched Get Off My Lawn over the last several months, you've seen me open the Jump Medic bag.
00:25:15.000 Let's do that again, shall we?
00:25:21.000 And you've seen the nearly 10 pounds of first aid equipment that comes with it.
00:25:24.000 Having the Jumpmatic bag really gives you peace of mind.
00:25:26.000 Yes, have this in your truck.
00:25:28.000 Have this in your Jeep.
00:25:30.000 Imagine how much you will regret it if something happens to someone in your family and you don't have any tools to treat them.
00:25:36.000 If this seems a little too much overkill, Ryan, don't play Van Halen where we'll get banned.
00:25:42.000 This is the instrumental.
00:25:43.000 It doesn't matter.
00:25:44.000 It's heavily monitored.
00:25:48.000 Jump Medic now has a Build-A-Bag feature.
00:25:50.000 Just go to jumpmedic.com slash bag build and select what you want from their convenient drop-down menu.
00:25:56.000 You can get one or more of their awesome Pro or Go bags, or you can skip the bags altogether and just stock up on first aid supplies to your heart's content.
00:26:04.000 They have stethoscopes, blood pressure cuffs, tourniquets, shears, CPR masks, splints, pretty much anything you could ever need in your first aid kit.
00:26:12.000 When I hear Jump Medic is advertising,
00:26:14.000 I almost get upset.
00:26:15.000 I love the peace of mind of having this kid at home in my car.
00:26:18.000 I don't want to part with it bringing it to the studio.
00:26:20.000 I got one for my brother Kyle, who's a hunter, and he seems to be loving it too.
00:26:24.000 As the 2024 race heats up, you never know when you'll need this excellent piece of equipment.
00:26:29.000 Of course, it's also a necessity for hunters, bikers, shooting enthusiasts, RV owners, EMTs, female cops, and of course, froozy taxi men.
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00:26:44.000 We've had a poll going on last month or so, you can enter promo code RyanSucks, one word, or GavinSucks for 10% off your order.
00:26:50.000 While we have it straight from the top, MrJumpMedic himself has told us that not a single person entered GavinSucks.
00:26:57.000 Wow.
00:26:58.000 It was 100% RyanSucks.
00:27:02.000 So, you know what I get from that?
00:27:04.000 Brian sucks.
00:27:06.000 It's like I was at the optician yesterday, and he was putting new lenses in my glasses, and I was trying on other glasses, and every pair I tried on, I looked like a gay architect.
00:27:16.000 And I said, oh, I already told you this story.
00:27:18.000 No.
00:27:19.000 Oh.
00:27:20.000 I go, maybe if every pair of glasses makes you look like a gay architect, you look like a gay architect.
00:27:27.000 No, that just tells me that this sample size of people that all care about their health and if something goes wrong they want to ratify that with some sort of medical equipment, those people think I suck.
00:27:39.000 But those are fucking nerds.
00:27:41.000 Okay, so you're telling the customers of our sponsor that they're nerds.
00:27:45.000 If anybody who cares about their health, if they're in a medical predicament and they want to solve that,
00:27:51.000 You're a fucking nerd.
00:27:54.000 That's called sarcasm, just in case you didn't get Ryan's terrible sense of humor.
00:27:58.000 So as always, go to JumpMedic.com and enter promo code RyanSucks for 10% off your order.
00:28:07.000 JumpMedic.com.
00:28:10.000 Zip that back up.
00:28:11.000 I got some stethoscope peeking out.
00:28:15.000 Peek-a-scope.
00:28:16.000 Let's jump right into My Pet Biden.
00:28:17.000 I don't think we've ever done My Pet Biden on the free side of the show.
00:28:32.000 What are you doing?
00:28:34.000 It's playing background music.
00:28:37.000 Well, finish the intro.
00:28:38.000 Okay.
00:28:40.000 How do you fuck that up?
00:28:42.000 So when I was playing that background music, it kept playing.
00:28:44.000 Here we go.
00:28:45.000 Let's hit it from the top.
00:28:46.000 No, not the top.
00:28:47.000 Okay, let's not.
00:28:49.000 You know we were talking last night about things I don't get?
00:29:06.000 I don't get... Can you imagine playing the clarinet?
00:29:10.000 I actually like the clarinet.
00:29:11.000 Yeah, but imagine at home just practicing your clarinet.
00:29:16.000 I did it in school because we all had to.
00:29:19.000 Then I switched to the bass clarinet because it seemed cooler.
00:29:22.000 But as soon as we were able to quit, I quit.
00:29:26.000 But being a grown man... Bass clarinet's pretty tough.
00:29:37.000 Yeah, I sucked.
00:29:39.000 One time we were doing a presentation in front of all the parents, and the band teacher stopped and said, bass clarinet, you need to... and just gave me a whole lecture in front of all the parents.
00:29:48.000 Oh, you were bass clarinet?
00:29:49.000 Yeah.
00:29:49.000 Oh.
00:29:50.000 Well, I did clarinet too.
00:29:51.000 Right, right, okay.
00:29:52.000 Not in a remotely interesting way.
00:29:54.000 Play a clarinet solo.
00:29:55.000 Alright.
00:29:57.000 You should hear my dad's clarinet solo.
00:30:01.000 Like, I can't picture that.
00:30:02.000 I can't picture your dad playing the clarinet.
00:30:05.000 The clarinet.
00:30:08.000 Trumpet, maybe.
00:30:13.000 Why?
00:30:13.000 If you're Indian, play the shit out of that as a dad.
00:30:17.000 Well, if you're Indian, then snakes come out of the ground.
00:30:19.000 That's cool.
00:30:23.000 Why are you doing that?
00:30:24.000 Stop that!
00:30:27.000 Wait, those look like saxophone keys.
00:30:34.000 Stop!
00:30:36.000 Hey, are you going by the music store?
00:30:37.000 Can you get me some reeds?
00:30:39.000 Yeah, I need three more reeds.
00:30:43.000 Is there a reed in there?
00:30:46.000 Clarinets use reeds, yes.
00:30:47.000 I've got a reed up on it.
00:30:50.000 So, usually we lampoon our severely retarded president, Joe Biden, but today we have a special.
00:30:58.000 We're going to look at his veep, Kamala Harris, and the crazy shit that comes out of her mouth.
00:31:06.000 As you know, she likes to repeat the same word in a phrase, like, people ask me,
00:31:14.000 What's happening with the American economy and where is it going?
00:31:18.000 And I always say, it's going where the economy wants to go and where we want it to go.
00:31:25.000 And that is forward, but also backwards in many ways, because you need to know where you come from to know where you're going.
00:31:32.000 That's what she wants.
00:31:33.000 She wants to go with a line like, we need to know where we're coming from to know where we're going.
00:31:37.000 That's catchy.
00:31:39.000 We have nothing to fear but fear itself.
00:31:42.000 But she's just too stupid.
00:31:44.000 So she just babbles like a drunk mom.
00:31:48.000 She sounds like she's had too many roses after the kids baseball game.
00:31:54.000 The first link is broken, but is it this one?
00:31:58.000 The governor and I and we were all
00:32:00.000 I'm doing a tour of the library here and talking about the significance of the passage of time.
00:32:06.000 No, no.
00:32:07.000 Right?
00:32:07.000 This was about, she's saying that schools are being taught that some black people benefited from slavery.
00:32:17.000 We've got to find the quote.
00:32:20.000 So, schools are saying, smart schools are saying no to CRT.
00:32:25.000 They decided middle school students will be taught that enslaved people benefited from slavery.
00:32:35.000 They insult us in an attempt to gaslight us and we will not stand for it!
00:32:41.000 I had to dig in and read this because the headline I thought couldn't be true, but here it is.
00:32:46.000 A 216 page document from the Florida State Board of Education.
00:32:50.000 One section that reads, slaves developed skills which in some instances could be applied for their personal benefits.
00:32:57.000 I never thought I'd see both sides-ism of slavery taught in public schools.
00:33:03.000 Yeah, that's true.
00:33:03.000 Just yesterday in the state of Florida.
00:33:05.000 That is true.
00:33:06.000 And, you know, this is, well, Ryan was talking about a t-shirt where it says, slavery never should have happened.
00:33:11.000 Like, you go up to a black person, you go, I, that slavery thing, oh my god.
00:33:15.000 Good news, though.
00:33:16.000 I have a magic genie bottle.
00:33:18.000 And I can rub it and we can both make the wish that slavery never happened.
00:33:22.000 Shall we do that?
00:33:23.000 Uh, yo, hang on a minute.
00:33:25.000 Hang on a second.
00:33:27.000 Slavery was horrible, yes.
00:33:29.000 I think AIU, our own AIU, beat me to that.
00:33:33.000 Really?
00:33:33.000 Yeah.
00:33:35.000 Of course slavery was horrible.
00:33:38.000 Whites were very prevalent in the slave trade as slaves.
00:33:42.000 Blacks were very prevalent in the slave trade as slave traders.
00:33:45.000 Kamala Harris's father in Jamaica came from a plantation family.
00:33:52.000 Kamala Harris's lineage had slaves.
00:33:56.000 And despite the horrors of slavery,
00:34:00.000 Would you rather be here or back in Africa?
00:34:04.000 I think you'd rather here.
00:34:06.000 It's a shitty way to get here, but you're here now and you're better off.
00:34:11.000 So the hypocrisy in that idiotic statement is embarrassing.
00:34:15.000 And the assumption that Florida is teaching that it was cool to be a slave is just, again, so low IQ.
00:34:26.000 Here's her saying that awesome phrase.
00:34:29.000 I think I may have played this before, but I love showing her do this because you just see how often she bombs and how painful it is.
00:34:39.000 Third one in, right?
00:34:42.000 1-7.
00:34:45.000 The one that follows 1-6.
00:34:48.000 Everything is in context.
00:34:50.000 My mother used to give us a hard time sometimes and she would say to us, I don't know what's wrong with you young people.
00:34:57.000 You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?
00:35:01.000 You exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you.
00:35:10.000 What are you talking about?
00:35:12.000 She'd be like a cool aunt at a barbecue.
00:35:15.000 No, I don't want to sit with her.
00:35:17.000 But that's it.
00:35:19.000 You wouldn't learn anything from her.
00:35:19.000 You think she just fell out of a coconut tree?
00:35:21.000 You'd be like, oh, she's really drinking tonight.
00:35:23.000 I had to look up because I was dubious that there were coconuts in India.
00:35:26.000 Her mother's Indian.
00:35:27.000 But there's coconuts in India.
00:35:28.000 Plenty.
00:35:31.000 Isn't it a palm tree?
00:35:32.000 Do they really call it?
00:35:32.000 Look up coconut tree.
00:35:35.000 Aren't all palm trees coconut trees?
00:35:39.000 I don't want to answer that because I'm not certain, but it does look like very palmy to me.
00:35:44.000 It's a batituximan.
00:35:46.000 What's the difference between a coconut tree and a palm tree?
00:35:49.000 What is the difference between a coconut tree and a palm tree?
00:35:54.000 Nothing.
00:35:56.000 You don't call them coconut trees.
00:35:58.000 And by the way, they're not trees.
00:36:02.000 A tree is something that you can get wood from.
00:36:03.000 Oh, it's a member of the palm tree.
00:36:07.000 Okay, so there's palm trees that don't have coconuts.
00:36:08.000 Yeah.
00:36:09.000 So, anyway, there's some problems with your joke, Kamala.
00:36:12.000 First of all, no one knows what the fuck a coconut tree is.
00:36:17.000 And then here is her new way of talking that I always talk about.
00:36:21.000 Is this 1-8?
00:36:22.000 Let us be clear.
00:36:23.000 Teachers want to teach the truth.
00:36:26.000 What is that?
00:36:27.000 Let us be clear.
00:36:28.000 That's how Stuart Little's dad talks if you're stepping on him.
00:36:31.000 Is Stuart smaller?
00:36:33.000 Let us be clear.
00:36:37.000 You're crushing me.
00:36:41.000 Let us be clear, teachers want to teach the truth.
00:36:48.000 It's like something out of a musical.
00:36:50.000 It's from Aladdin.
00:36:57.000 And like not a human character, like a little bear or something.
00:37:00.000 Teachers want to teach facts.
00:37:02.000 Like slavery was good for everyone.
00:37:05.000 Teachers dedicate themselves to some of the most noble work any human being could take on.
00:37:14.000 To teach other people's children!
00:37:16.000 Yeah, I wish they would.
00:37:17.000 I wish they would and not brainwash other people's children.
00:37:20.000 For the sake of the future of our nation!
00:37:24.000 And so they should not then be told by politicians that they should be teaching revisionist history in order to keep their jobs.
00:37:34.000 What is going on?
00:37:35.000 Revisionist history, by the way, is history that does not follow the radical leftist agenda.
00:37:41.000 So if you have any kind of nuance, like, slave owners didn't really beat their slaves.
00:37:46.000 You know, the guy has a pitchfork.
00:37:49.000 He has a scythe.
00:37:50.000 He has a machete.
00:37:52.000 You don't really want to be on his bad side by raping his sister, as is well documented in the book Roll Jordan Roll.
00:37:59.000 But no, you can't teach that.
00:38:00.000 You have to teach that Black Wall Street was burned down.
00:38:03.000 You have to teach that every time you hear of any kind of black crime, it was false.
00:38:10.000 Emmett Till was totally innocent.
00:38:12.000 And every time you hear of lynching, it was only blacks that were lynched.
00:38:15.000 No white people were lynched.
00:38:16.000 No white people were slaves.
00:38:18.000 And if you go against that, it's revisionist history.
00:38:21.000 Okay, so the next link is kind of creepy, folks.
00:38:26.000 Veep lampooned Kamala Harris before Kamala Harris existed.
00:38:30.000 They got in a time machine, saw who she is, right?
00:38:34.000 Which is confusing because I heard that everyone in that staff, especially Jen Psaki, is obsessed with Veep, the show.
00:38:42.000 That's why they got into politics.
00:38:46.000 Or what really, you know, egged them on when they were already in politics.
00:38:50.000 And that was used as an explanation for the TV set that Biden had in the White House.
00:38:55.000 Remember that?
00:38:56.000 He was doing these talks, and you're looking at the plants, and you go, wait a minute, it's not spring.
00:39:01.000 And you realize, oh, that's a fake window behind him.
00:39:04.000 He's on a soundstage.
00:39:06.000 Why is he on a soundstage?
00:39:07.000 Why not just do it from the Oval Office like every other president?
00:39:09.000 Well, because they're obsessed with Veep, and they sort of see their jobs as TV stars.
00:39:15.000 Right?
00:39:16.000 Look at that.
00:39:16.000 There's a coconut tree.
00:39:19.000 There's a coconut tree outside my house, man.
00:39:21.000 Come on, man.
00:39:22.000 Listen, the world doesn't look the same in a window.
00:39:25.000 Wait, you're not supposed to write words on the plants.
00:39:29.000 You're giving away that it's not really there.
00:39:31.000 Yeah, we've got plants.
00:39:32.000 Yeah, we've grown some build back betters.
00:39:34.000 Holy shit.
00:39:35.000 That looks bad.
00:39:37.000 Yeah, that's a TV set.
00:39:38.000 It looks like the studio.
00:39:39.000 And the perspective, did they just duplicate the same picture?
00:39:43.000 That's bad.
00:39:45.000 Dumb.
00:39:49.000 Something weird is going on here in the Matrix.
00:39:51.000 Owen Benjamin is going to have to explain it to me.
00:39:53.000 But how is this so accurate?
00:39:55.000 Why are they Veep fans?
00:39:57.000 Are they time travelers?
00:39:58.000 How did they do this?
00:40:00.000 Words have many meanings, and sometimes instead of conveying our meaning, they can suggest other meanings.
00:40:06.000 When we talk about the children of the community, they are the children of the community.
00:40:11.000 Well, we are the United States of America because we are united.
00:40:16.000 And we are states.
00:40:17.000 Whatever we have in store
00:40:33.000 It cannot be known.
00:40:35.000 The past was once the future.
00:40:37.000 The future is, I should say, unknown.
00:40:40.000 We gotta take this stuff seriously, as seriously as you are because you have been forced to have to take it seriously.
00:40:45.000 Obesity is a serious disease and it needs to be taken seriously.
00:40:49.000 Certain issues are just settled.
00:40:51.000 Clearly we're not.
00:40:52.000 No, that's right.
00:40:52.000 And that's why I do believe that we are living, sadly, in real unsettled times.
00:41:00.000 Like, talk about going with the flow.
00:41:02.000 Certain things are just settled.
00:41:04.000 No, they're not.
00:41:04.000 Exactly.
00:41:09.000 That's exactly my point.
00:41:10.000 What?
00:41:11.000 I just said no to what you said.
00:41:13.000 And I agree.
00:41:14.000 We're living in unsettled times.
00:41:16.000 But certain things are settled.
00:41:17.000 No, they're not.
00:41:18.000 Correct.
00:41:20.000 Wow.
00:41:21.000 Is she a meathead or insane?
00:41:26.000 Hoy vey.
00:41:27.000 Uh, final sponsor before we go behind the paywall.
00:41:30.000 And let me just tell you what you're missing behind the paywall.
00:41:34.000 Orion Katsu Rivera sex tape has been released.
00:41:37.000 Yes.
00:41:37.000 Uh, we have a huge horde of good news.
00:41:42.000 Fantastic things that are happening.
00:41:44.000 I finally convinced Gavin that the earth is not a round spinning ball in an infinite universe of making you an insignificant little poo stain.
00:41:53.000 You finally got the information from me that you needed to realize that the earth is not a globe.
00:42:00.000 So we'll get into that too.
00:42:01.000 Today's episode of Get Off My Lawn is brought to you by Johnny Apple CBD, a loyal sponsor since day one.
00:42:06.000 Johnny Apple has an exceptional lineup of CBD, CBN, and now Delta 8 and 9 products from tinctures to topicals to amazing sugar-free gummies and vapes.
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00:42:46.000 So if that's a concern, stick with their great CBD or CBN products.
00:42:51.000 Head over to JohnnyApple.com or JACBD.com, use the code GAVIN at checkout, and you'll get 25% off your entire order.
00:42:59.000 Infinitely cheaper than buying from the dispensary.
00:43:01.000 Support Johnny Apple, support the show.
00:43:04.000 Now, let's get back to the show.
00:43:07.000 All right, so the good news I want to get to is Nigel Farage kicking the shit out of a bank that tried to cancel him.
00:43:15.000 This chick, Maya Forstater, kicking the ass of a company that fired her for being transphobic.
00:43:26.000 Just Stop Oil having their asses handed to them.
00:43:29.000 And all these conservative boycotts turning out great.
00:43:34.000 But I'm not including you freeloaders in any of this.
00:43:38.000 So we're going behind the paywall now, folks, where we live 90% of our lives.
00:43:43.000 We have new content every single day, $10 a month.
00:43:47.000 That's two beers in most places.
00:43:50.000 About a beer here in Manhattan, the most expensive fucking place on earth.
00:43:55.000 But two beers a month to have unlimited content, more than you can possibly handle.
00:43:59.000 There's no one on earth who says, I subscribe to censored.tv and they only have, what do we have per day?
00:44:06.000 I got to work that out.
00:44:07.000 It's got to be eight hours a day total of content.
00:44:10.000 So more than you can handle.
00:44:12.000 And even when I go away on vacation or on business trips, I make sure we pre-record stuff so there's never not GAV content on the show.
00:44:20.000 But we also have tons of other contributors.
00:44:23.000 We've got Jim Go doing shows, Josh LaCashe.
00:44:26.000 We've got AIU, the second most popular dude on the site.
00:44:30.000 On Thursday nights we do a Cops and Robbers show.
00:44:33.000 Where we have a bunch of cops and Matty O'Dell, the felon, and we watch police videos with them.
00:44:39.000 That's becoming very popular as a Thursday night special.
00:44:43.000 There's the Sports City Sports Sports Sports Show with Josh Denny and Full Mental Retard, Canadian hoser, comes in on Sundays.
00:44:52.000 We've also got some exciting new stuff coming down the pipeline that seems to be taking forever.
00:44:58.000 Have you noticed that?
00:45:00.000 Let's get going with those.
00:45:01.000 I thought that was gonna start in July.
00:45:03.000 Anthony Kumi of Opian Anthony fame.
00:45:05.000 Anyway, it's... I'm actually kind of mad at you for not subscribing to be totally honest.
00:45:11.000 You just watch me for free on YouTube?
00:45:12.000 Fuck you.
00:45:14.000 Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.