Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S4E282 - THE EVERYTHING SHOW (Part 1)

00:00:13.000 Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!

00:00:36.000 That was Delicate Steve!

00:00:39.000 A lot of people better than Jimi Hendrix.

00:00:42.000 Like who?

00:00:42.000 Yngwie Malmsteen?

00:00:59.000 He can mouse in on some level yeah but not really maybe creativity level not as much.

00:01:04.000 What about that can't stand the weather Stevie Ray Vaughan.

00:01:07.000 Stevie Ray Vaughan that's up in the air I think technically maybe a little more proficient but where he had lacks in technical proficiency Mr. Hendricks he had to get more creative.

00:01:17.000 Stevie Ray Vaughan is a little more to the book blues.

00:01:20.000 You know what one of my favorite Jimi Hendrix songs is?

00:01:22.000 Besides the obvious?

00:01:23.000 Oron Wachtower? 0.63

00:01:24.000 Have you heard that one where uh... He's going in like a spaceship?

00:01:29.000 Submarine?

00:01:30.000 Sea vessel?

00:01:31.000 I'm going in a spaceship!

00:01:32.000 Hey! 0.99

00:01:33.000 And they said a man and a woman can't breathe underwater!

00:01:36.000 They... Bown! 0.90

00:01:39.000 Down, down, down, down, down!

00:01:41.000 Him and his girlfriend have decided to move... To the ocean.

00:01:46.000 Forever.

00:01:47.000 I know what you're talking about.

00:01:49.000 Um...

00:01:51.000 By the way, I'm allowed to play that music because I discuss it.

00:01:53.000 That's Steve Marion.

00:01:54.000 He calls himself Delicate Steve.

00:01:55.000 It's editorial.

00:01:56.000 Yet Michelle Schacht is suing me for playing Anchorage, Alaska. 1.00

00:02:01.000 I'm in court right now.

00:02:03.000 Are we Varys of Neptune?

00:02:05.000 Yeah, I think that's it.

00:02:06.000 Or a mermaid. 0.83

00:02:07.000 Mermaid.

00:02:08.000 Mermaid man.

00:02:09.000 It's a jam.

00:02:10.000 I wanna be a mermaid!

00:02:14.000 And my mermaid lady, she said, hey... I bet Jimi Hendrix is happy he's dead because he doesn't have to hear how talented you are.

00:02:23.000 He doesn't want to live on the same earth.

00:02:24.000 If he heard how talented you are, he would just throw his guitar in the sea.

00:02:29.000 Forever.

00:02:33.000 I said, I want this little Asian boy to throw his guitar into the sea. 1.00

00:02:36.000 I didn't know that if a Japanese hairdresser fucks a Puerto Rican hairdresser, they make something better than me, man. 1.00

00:02:43.000 Maybe I could have gotten a haircut from one of them. 0.64

00:02:46.000 That's a trip, man.

00:02:48.000 Your hair is your tentacles.

00:02:50.000 That's how you feel the universe. 1.00

00:02:52.000 Hairdressers are satanic, man. 0.92

00:02:54.000 This weird thing with his voice I can't get. 0.99

00:03:04.000 It's impossible!

00:03:05.000 Yeah, that.

00:03:06.000 Wait, you missed the best line.

00:03:07.000 That's true.

00:03:13.000 They're right, James.

00:03:17.000 Don't go down there.

00:03:19.000 You cannot breathe underwater forever.

00:03:22.000 And also, if some guy's going to shoot his old lady, call the police. 0.58

00:03:26.000 Yeah.

00:03:28.000 I don't care if she cheated. 1.00

00:03:30.000 Speaking of cheating,

00:03:34.000 I'm on Purple Works Nutrition right now.

00:03:36.000 It's my pre-workout.

00:03:37.000 I gotta say, today at the gym was one of the first times that I actually felt like the song.

00:03:44.000 This is a legend!

00:03:46.000 Like, usually, they're like, show no mercy.

00:03:49.000 I'm like, show mercy.

00:03:50.000 Please, show mercy.

00:03:51.000 Ow! 1.00

00:03:52.000 Ow! 1.00

00:03:52.000 Burpees! 1.00

00:03:53.000 Yeah, a minute of burpees.

00:03:54.000 A minute of burpees!

00:03:56.000 That's 99% of my work.

00:03:58.000 I was just crying and whining.

00:03:59.000 Or it was, until I discovered Purple Works Nutrition.

00:04:03.000 And today, I was like... Like in a commercial.

00:04:08.000 For working out.

00:04:11.000 Doing flies.

00:04:13.000 And whatever these are called.

00:04:15.000 Rows?

00:04:16.000 No.

00:04:17.000 Wait, those?

00:04:18.000 Wait, pulling them back?

00:04:19.000 Face pulls?

00:04:20.000 There's weights in my hand.

00:04:21.000 Okay, they're not attached to that... Oh, you're laying on your back?

00:04:24.000 Yes, not on my back, at an angle.

00:04:27.000 I don't know.

00:04:28.000 Okay, so you push them up though, right?

00:04:32.000 Like this?

00:04:33.000 Are you laying down like this?

00:04:34.000 I'm at an angle, 45 degrees, and then I'm going like this, touching them together, and they're 20 pounds.

00:04:39.000 That looks like a fly, yeah.

00:04:41.000 Yeah, I guess it's a different type of fly.

00:04:43.000 And this is a fly too.

00:04:44.000 Angle fly.

00:04:45.000 Well, that's like, no, that's reverse for your... Back.

00:04:49.000 Yeah, yeah, rear delt.

00:04:53.000 If you're a regular viewer on this show, you've heard about Purpleworks Nutrition.

00:04:55.000 It's the number one reason that I've been looking so jacked and swole.

00:04:59.000 Purpleworks make a pre-workout, which is what I use basically every time I go to the gym.

00:05:03.000 I've told you about how they have no artificial dyes, no artificial flavorings.

00:05:06.000 I've told you about how they don't nuke your system with 10,000% of your daily value of this or that vitamin.

00:05:11.000 You're just going to piss that away anyway.

00:05:15.000 Purpleworks has an expertly crafted array of incredibly high-quality ingredients that are formulated to give you the kick you need to get you through even the most grueling of workouts.

00:05:22.000 And if you're one of these bozos who say, hey Gavin, is this manufactured in some sort of Wild Wild West facility where there are no rules?

00:05:30.000 Well, to that I say, of course not.

00:05:31.000 Purpleworks Nutrition's Pink Lemonade Pre-Workout is manufactured in an FDA-registered facility that is also GMP certified.

00:05:38.000 But wait, there's more!

00:05:40.000 Purple Works Nutrition has just introduced a new line of fine Italian coffees.

00:05:44.000 They have two types of ground coffee, a 2.2 pound bag of organic whole bean coffee, and they even have organic instant coffee.

00:05:50.000 All their coffees are at a great price and are important from Italy, the ad writer says.

00:05:58.000 They're important and imported.

00:06:00.000 Go to purpleworksnutrition.com and enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off.

00:06:05.000 So, there's a lot of inside jokes going on here.

00:06:08.000 I was mocking Ryan earlier because he tells me that he's better on the guitar than Jimi Hendrix.

00:06:13.000 That's what that inside joke was.

00:06:15.000 Wild Wild West, it's a pet peeve of mine that people think it's not called the Wild West and they add a wild because they heard it in a Will Smith song.

00:06:24.000 But uh this show is for the freeloaders and I want to show them everything that is in a typical episode.

00:06:32.000 So I'm going to cram every single subject we regularly discuss into this show including the letters and including the end.

00:06:40.000 Now you're not going to get

00:06:41.000 It's a Thursday show, in this, where me, three cops, and a robber go through police videos.

00:06:49.000 That's cops and robber.

00:06:50.000 And that's Thursday nights.

00:06:52.000 Uh, sorry.

00:06:53.000 You can't have... You can't always get what you want.

00:06:57.000 But, uh, this will give you a pretty good idea of the show.

00:07:01.000 Now, oh, Fart Beans.

00:07:04.000 I forgot to send you, Ryan, this thing.

00:07:08.000 This dude, Rolo Tomasi?

00:07:12.000 He inspired a new segment I'm gonna do in the green screen called, uh, Let's Get Annoyed.

00:07:17.000 We'll get to that in a second.

00:07:18.000 Was it a tweet by Brittany?

00:07:21.000 Well, that's related to it, but this is before that.

00:07:23.000 I'm emailing it to you now.

00:07:25.000 Oh.

00:07:26.000 And, um... Oh no, that's not it. 0.99

00:07:29.000 Goddamn. 0.99

00:07:30.000 Goddamn! 1.00

00:07:31.000 This is how legends are craved! 0.99

00:07:37.000 Forward to Ryan.

00:07:39.000 So, this guy, he calls himself the King of the Manosphere.

00:07:43.000 I've never heard of him, because I'm not into that stuff.

00:07:44.000 Though, I don't hate it!

00:07:46.000 Like, I hate that Andrew Tate took advantage of very lonely men and let Ukrainian models dupe them out of money, but I don't hate this whole, like, men getting in touch with their stuff. 0.88

00:07:56.000 I think Proud Boys do a much better job of it, because you get to party.

00:07:59.000 No, not that one.

00:08:01.000 That's for racism.

00:08:02.000 Uh-oh.

00:08:03.000 Here we go. 0.99

00:08:05.000 But it's pretty fucking corny, generally. 0.98

00:08:09.000 Hey, George. 0.98

00:08:10.000 I guess that's the name of Rollo Tomasi.

00:08:13.000 Sorry I took so long to respond.

00:08:14.000 Had to wait for Brittany to finish a few things. 0.99

00:08:15.000 Firstly, I'm endlessly impressed with your ability to believe and spread literally any piece of salacious gossip you hear.

00:08:21.000 I certainly learned a lot about myself. 0.97

00:08:23.000 So, this dude, this Manosphere, he hates feminists. 1.00

00:08:25.000 Okay, I get you. 0.99

00:08:29.000 But he's chosen Lauren Southern and Brittany Venti as some of the bitches holding man down. 1.00

00:08:37.000 What? 0.99

00:08:38.000 What? 1.00

00:08:39.000 So to fuck with him, Lauren sent a bunch of fake information about her, including that she's dating Tim Pool. 1.00

00:08:50.000 She's pregnant with Destiny's daughter. 1.00

00:08:51.000 She sent him, had someone sent him fake ultrasounds and shit like that. 0.99

00:08:56.000 And he fell for it hook, line and sinker. 0.87

00:09:00.000 Speaking of which, I got sent recently all kinds of inside scoop on Steven Crowder's divorce with his wife, including depositions from the nanny and transcripts from the case, and I was like, I'm not running with this.

00:09:17.000 It all makes Crowder look really good.

00:09:19.000 Right.

00:09:20.000 And I sense that Crowder is sending it out and saying it's a leak.

00:09:24.000 Like you got to be a little dubious of your sources folks. 0.98

00:09:27.000 Especially in this area where you're fucking with pranksters. 0.96

00:09:32.000 So go back to that thing? 0.98

00:09:34.000 Yeah.

00:09:37.000 So if you go down, you can see, thanks to John Du Twite for the Photoshop work. 0.87

00:09:44.000 I guess he made a bunch of forms and shit. 0.80

00:09:46.000 This is sort of like when Tommy Robinson got prank called. 0.99

00:09:54.000 Yeah, he used a fake number to call a British journalist and pretend that he had a big scoop about Tommy fucking everything that moves. 0.97

00:10:04.000 And underage girls and stuff. 0.99

00:10:06.000 And the journalist was so fucking excited. 0.99

00:10:09.000 He couldn't wait to take down Tommy, who takes down pedophiles. 0.99

00:10:12.000 Because in this day and age, and we'll learn this when we get to our war on kids segment, hunting pedophiles is not cool anymore.

00:10:20.000 The left doesn't like that. 0.95

00:10:21.000 It's homophobic, I guess.

00:10:23.000 Okay.

00:10:24.000 I don't care what it is.

00:10:25.000 I want it done. 1.00

00:10:27.000 If all pedophiles were gay, I would still want them dead. 1.00

00:10:30.000 Black? 1.00

00:10:31.000 Handicapped? 0.91

00:10:32.000 Sorry.

00:10:33.000 I don't care.

00:10:35.000 Bad is bad.

00:10:36.000 Good is good.

00:10:37.000 Anyway, I looked into that dude Rollo a little bit after learning that Lauren and Brittany scammed him. 0.98

00:10:43.000 And the fact that he always has a fucking bandana on, hiding his baldness. 0.98

00:10:51.000 It's kind of a Tim Pool thing. 0.99

00:10:52.000 I mean, I do it in a way.

00:10:53.000 I comb my hair over a thinning part in the back.

00:10:57.000 So I guess this is technically a comb over.

00:11:00.000 But if you're super bald, like your hairline is here, I don't know, fine.

00:11:05.000 You're old. 0.99

00:11:07.000 It happens, but to constantly be pulling the beanie over our eyes and pretending you're not bald, it's fucking embarrassing, bro. 0.99

00:11:17.000 Like it's weirder than getting hair plugs or wearing a toupee. 0.97

00:11:21.000 Go to his, go to his Instagram.

00:11:23.000 It's right below his name, Rollo Tomassi.

00:11:27.000 And these guys, they pretend that they just love hats.

00:11:32.000 Like The Edge and you too.

00:11:33.000 I'm just a huge hat fan.

00:11:36.000 Okay.

00:11:37.000 Are you ever not a fan of hats?

00:11:39.000 Nope.

00:11:40.000 Never ever.

00:11:42.000 I always love hats.

00:11:44.000 Covering my head.

00:11:45.000 I like a head wrap.

00:11:47.000 Look at my head wrap.

00:11:47.000 Yeah.

00:11:48.000 Look at this.

00:11:49.000 I'll get another one.

00:11:51.000 Hold on here.

00:11:53.000 This is how legends are started.

00:11:56.000 Yeah, you should be logged in as me.

00:11:57.000 Why did you log in?

00:11:57.000 I am, I am.

00:11:58.000 Okay.

00:12:00.000 Look at all the, like zoom out from the grid and just look at every single picture.

00:12:07.000 Nice guitar.

00:12:09.000 Is that a nice, it looks like a baby guitar.

00:12:10.000 Is he huge?

00:12:13.000 Is that how you make yourself look big?

00:12:14.000 You buy children's guitars.

00:12:17.000 But look at that. 1.00

00:12:18.000 Every single fucking moment, he's pretending he's not bald. 1.00

00:12:23.000 Even in bed, he's got a hat on. 1.00

00:12:25.000 What the hell?

00:12:28.000 I'm the ma- What is the Manosphere, anyway? 0.91

00:12:30.000 Wait, who's taking this picture?

00:12:32.000 Zoom in.

00:12:34.000 The guy.

00:12:38.000 Alright, so let's jump to the green screen and get annoyed. 0.95

00:12:40.000 Wait, hold on.

00:12:40.000 Oh, jeez Christ.

00:12:41.000 Oh my God.

00:12:42.000 I told you it's gonna be a fast-paced show.

00:12:43.000 We're getting everything.

00:12:43.000 I know, but it's really great.

00:12:44.000 Here is a goal.

00:12:59.000 Let's do a Fireball. 0.98

00:13:06.000 China!

00:13:07.000 China!

00:13:08.000 Such a, such a, such a China! 1.00

00:13:13.000 Why is that available in CVS, please?

00:13:15.000 Why is there beer, I think wine, and only one liquor available at the drugstore?

00:13:22.000 And that is Fireball.

00:13:26.000 It makes me think it's malt liquor and it's not real.

00:13:29.000 All right, usually my green screens are very well researched.

00:13:32.000 What are you doing over there?

00:13:34.000 Hello?

00:13:35.000 My board froze after I switched different input.

00:13:38.000 Hold on.

00:13:39.000 Your board's frozen?

00:13:40.000 Am I still being recorded?

00:13:41.000 Yep.

00:13:43.000 Okay, then we're back.

00:13:43.000 Just a controller.

00:13:44.000 Okay.

00:13:46.000 I don't believe you.

00:13:47.000 No it was.

00:13:48.000 See I said there are different like presets and I had to set a preset so that way I could do this.

00:13:53.000 Okay.

00:13:54.000 So often these green screens are very well researched.

00:13:58.000 It'll be like things that blow my mind or things I just don't understand or ten things I'm jealous that women have. 0.94

00:14:04.000 Like, here's one thing that makes me jealous about women. 1.00

00:14:08.000 They can have a keychain with like 900 things on it, and that just goes in their purse.

00:14:13.000 We got three vehicles.

00:14:14.000 I got the studio keys, home keys.

00:14:16.000 If I were to put all my keys together, it would just be this massive hedgehog of steel.

00:14:21.000 And if I put that in my pocket, it's uncomfortable.

00:14:24.000 Chicks can just carry infinite key sizes.

00:14:27.000 That's cool.

00:14:28.000 Anyway, this is not organized at all.

00:14:30.000 I'm just barfing it out. 0.99

00:14:31.000 These are just things that have annoyed me in the past 12 hours including this fucking dude and his I'm not bald hat. 0.99

00:14:39.000 So let's just start randomly with it. 0.98

00:14:41.000 What happened was photography got really really good by 1900 and artists at that point up until... On the one hand, I appreciate this guy because he's not ashamed to be bald.

00:14:52.000 He's going taking the David Cross route.

00:14:55.000 Although David always wears a hat these days.

00:14:58.000 But he's talking about the importance of photography while the autofocus is consistently getting confused with his mug and his mug. 0.97

00:15:11.000 So there's nothing more frustrating than hearing someone talk about the importance of photography while their photography is fucked up. 0.97

00:15:22.000 I don't know if that's true. 0.92

00:15:27.000 I know a lot of artists back then used mirrors.

00:15:28.000 I'm not sure Rembrandt was part of that crew.

00:15:30.000 I think a Vermeer was one of them.

00:15:34.000 Press to get really photorealistic stuff.

00:15:36.000 And when photography totally took over the photorealism, seeing as it was photography, artists then in 1905, we started to see full- Stop!

00:15:45.000 You show this, he goes, all right, how did it turn out? 0.96

00:15:48.000 And his friend goes, magic, man, it's fucking great. 0.95

00:15:50.000 All right, let me see. 0.99

00:15:52.000 Cecil, what?

00:15:54.000 We can't use this.

00:15:55.000 It's going in and out of focus.

00:15:56.000 Why don't you manual focus it?

00:15:59.000 And he goes, no, it's fine. 0.99

00:16:00.000 We cut to a lot of images of art and shit. 0.99

00:16:03.000 Yeah, no. 0.97

00:16:04.000 We're not using it, mate. 1.00

00:16:05.000 You fucked up. 1.00

00:16:06.000 No, put it out there. 1.00

00:16:07.000 Let it go.

00:16:08.000 I'm an expert on imagery.

00:16:11.000 And by the way, he's talking about 1900 was the end of photorealism and nothing was surreal before that.

00:16:16.000 The Impressionists were in the 1800s.

00:16:19.000 There was tons of surreal art throughout the history of art.

00:16:22.000 It didn't end when the camera began. 1.00

00:16:24.000 So your hypothesis sucks and you suck. 1.00

00:16:29.000 And we started to see Expressionism, 1905. 1.00

00:16:33.000 1907, we started to see things like Modernism coming out.

00:16:36.000 Cubism.

00:16:37.000 Then in the 1920s, we get Surrealism, we get Dadaism.

00:16:41.000 And these were non-photographic approaches to art.

00:16:44.000 And that's exactly what is going to happen now with AI, as AI starts doing something with art.

00:16:48.000 I'm so sick of British people talking like they're smart, and Americans going, it's a British accent, he must have gone to Oxford, so I believe you. 1.00

00:16:58.000 Hey, Louis Theroux, stop coming to America and talking to poor people and hillbillies and going, oh, hmm, I didn't know that, like we're all retarded. 1.00

00:17:07.000 You got plenty of your own retards. 0.99

00:17:09.000 Thank you very much.

00:17:11.000 Man, humans are going to reinvent new ways of doing it that AI cannot do.

00:17:16.000 And that, to me, I think is incredibly exciting.

00:17:19.000 What happened was photography got really, really good. 0.94

00:17:22.000 So that's fucking annoying, isn't it? 0.91

00:17:24.000 And I kind of feel like AI's done. 0.99

00:17:26.000 Like those dumb, sort of saturated paintings that they do, we're already annoyed at looking at those. 0.92

00:17:34.000 We're already done with those, aren't we? 0.99

00:17:36.000 Yeah.

00:17:37.000 I saw one thing that's pretty cool.

00:17:39.000 I don't like AI art.

00:17:39.000 It was at the MoMA.

00:17:40.000 I think it's very demonic. 1.00

00:17:42.000 But, like, bullshit like this they have at the MoMA. 0.99

00:17:46.000 This is, like, new right now. 0.99

00:17:47.000 So, like, it's just doing it by itself.

00:17:50.000 It looks cool, but it doesn't have that sort of human connection and making... Yeah, it just looks like an eye into Satan's soul, generally.

00:17:57.000 It's not annoying.

00:17:59.000 It's evil.

00:18:01.000 The butthole microscope.

00:18:02.000 A butthole microscope, sure.

00:18:05.000 Next annoying thing, I think I'm gonna jump back to Rolo, am I?

00:18:07.000 Oh, uh-huh, yes.

00:18:09.000 What's the next one that annoys the shit out of me?

00:18:13.000 Oh yeah, so Brittany Venti is really cool. 0.99

00:18:14.000 I don't know why I put this in here.

00:18:16.000 I guess I've already spent my Rolo chips, but just click on her for a second. 0.77

00:18:21.000 She's great.

00:18:23.000 She's on our team.

00:18:24.000 She hosted my show once.

00:18:25.000 Yeah, Aerodite's another one.

00:18:28.000 Brittany Venti, Brittany Venti,

00:18:30.000 I got I got some things to say about Britney.

00:18:33.000 They are all guys who only care for what's best for women. 0.71

00:18:36.000 Of course, they are.

00:18:37.000 They are all feminists. 1.00

00:18:38.000 Every one of those girls that you mentioned are feminists. 1.00

00:18:43.000 Being called a feminist by the red pill manosphere sect of the internet, like Rolo Tomasi, is like being called a racist on Twitter.

00:18:52.000 The word has really lost its power.

00:18:55.000 But according to Rolo Tomasi, or should I say George, not only am I a feminist, but also a Christian.

00:19:03.000 They are conservatives, and we're good, good Orthodox Catholics, and we're good... Orthodox Catholics?

00:19:10.000 Those are two different things.

00:19:10.000 What?

00:19:11.000 Yeah.

00:19:12.000 Good God, Bible worship, Bible reading Christians, and we go to Bible study.

00:19:19.000 I'm not a Christian, but it goes to show how much research he does on the people he so confidently speaks on.

00:19:26.000 Okay, I'm going off on a tangent here. 0.99

00:19:27.000 This is looking very slapped together, but one thing that really irritates me with the hat thing and the I'm not bald thing is it comes across as an old dude that wants to fuck young chicks. 0.98

00:19:38.000 Like, why are you constantly talking about these young girls and what they're like and having young girls on your show? 0.99

00:19:43.000 Look, he's got some bikini picture behind him. 1.00

00:19:46.000 You wanna fuck young girls. 1.00

00:19:48.000 That's what the vibe I get, which is a creepy vibe. 1.00

00:19:51.000 For these old dudes trying to look cool. 0.99

00:19:54.000 And try to say, like, I'm one of the gang, I'm one of the crew.

00:19:57.000 Look, I'm hanging out talking to them with my hat on so I don't look bald.

00:20:02.000 Remember my buddy Steve? 0.99

00:20:03.000 He's bald, and you know, you get crow's feet, and he would, going out, he loved to fuck young girls, and he'd go out and he'd have a baseball hat on and sunglasses. 1.00

00:20:10.000 I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? 1.00

00:20:11.000 It's nighttime. 1.00

00:20:12.000 He goes, this is my old man disguise. 1.00

00:20:15.000 Like, you still have wrinkles down here, dude, and your fucking, your stubble is white. 1.00

00:20:20.000 Okay, final example of this, terrible green screen, is this dude, what the fuck is his name again? 1.00

00:20:28.000 Nathan Sharman?

00:20:30.000 He's like a totally hot YouTuber man who's like surfing and he's got his family there and he wants to rock out with you guys.

00:20:37.000 Look at that hat.

00:20:39.000 Look at that hat on a man my age or maybe older.

00:20:43.000 I'm 53.

00:20:44.000 He's kind of wrinkly in the neck.

00:20:45.000 That could be like 58.

00:20:48.000 58 and your hat is on your head like a McDonald's toy.

00:20:53.000 Like a Happy Meal gift.

00:20:57.000 Look at him.

00:20:57.000 Listen, at the Met Gala next year.

00:21:00.000 What is that? 1.00

00:21:03.000 This is what inspired this entire segment, was that fucking hat. 0.99

00:21:08.000 What are you doing? 1.00

00:21:09.000 It's a yarmulke.

00:21:10.000 Are you a baseball Jew?

00:21:12.000 What is going on?

00:21:14.000 You have a baseball hat on 15% of your head.

00:21:20.000 Are you allowed outside?

00:21:21.000 One, the slightest gust of wind.

00:21:24.000 I just want to go to him and go, 0.97

00:21:27.000 And watch his hat go flying like he's on the Alabama docks and he's about to fight white people. 0.85

00:21:32.000 Here, will there be aliens walking in?

00:21:34.000 We're all with young girls.

00:21:35.000 Ew, he's gossiping with young girls.

00:21:52.000 So curious.

00:21:53.000 Why won't they show us?

00:21:55.000 Is this how I'm finding out that aliens exist on the All Good Things podcast?

00:22:05.000 I hate dads that are into YouTube and getting clicks on YouTube.

00:22:11.000 It's such a weird thing.

00:22:13.000 Then they're gossiping with young girls.

00:22:17.000 It's got groomer vibes.

00:22:18.000 Alright, back to work. 0.99

00:22:31.000 That green screen sucked balls. 0.99

00:22:35.000 Before we get to feminism, our next subject, I just want to say that Johnny Apple CBD sponsored today's episode of Get Off My Lawn, along with Purpleworks Nutrition. 0.99

00:22:46.000 It's been a loyal sponsor since day one.

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00:23:03.000 You know what I've noticed?

00:23:04.000 I'm cutting down on booze drastically.

00:23:07.000 And, uh, when you do that, you can't sleep because you're used to just being knocked out by bourbon and you wake up every hour, like ready to face the day.

00:23:17.000 And I find with these, um, if I do wake up it's momentarily.

00:23:22.000 And I, I, instead of waking up with the horrors and all kinds of bad thoughts, I just, I'm at the movies all night.

00:23:30.000 Like lots of dreams, yeah.

00:23:31.000 By the way, I really want to see Meg 2.

00:23:33.000 With the family.

00:23:33.000 Me too.

00:23:34.000 I've never seen Meg 1, but it looks pretty cool.

00:23:37.000 They're both, well, they're all awesome.

00:23:37.000 It is.

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00:24:01.000 So if that's a concern, stick with their great CBD or CBN products.

00:24:04.000 Head over to JohnnyApple.com or JACBD.com.

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00:24:13.000 Infinitely cheaper than buying from the dispensary.

00:24:15.000 Support Johnny Apple.

00:24:16.000 Support the show.

00:24:17.000 Now let's get back to the show.

00:24:18.000 And with that said, let's get to some

00:24:23.000 Feminism. 1.00

00:24:24.000 Who here identifies as a feminist? 1.00

00:24:26.000 We are the storm.

00:24:28.000 The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.

00:24:35.000 You said I was too pretty to fight.

00:24:40.000 That's toxic masculinity. 1.00

00:24:42.000 You don't realize how your behavior is hurtful.

00:24:49.000 I've always accused women, and I don't like this segment to become chick bashing, but I've always accused them of being terrible at hypotheticals. 0.98

00:24:49.000 I thought this was funny. 0.98

00:24:58.000 Alright, would you rather kill your parents or have to eat shit until you die? 1.00

00:25:03.000 I don't want to do neither! 1.00

00:25:06.000 I'd rather become a billionaire and fly.

00:25:08.000 Okay. 0.99

00:25:09.000 Well, I guess that's the end of that fucking, um, what's the word? 0.99

00:25:13.000 Ultimatum. 0.98

00:25:16.000 So this woman presents a guy with a scenario.

00:25:19.000 You hate club girls, but what if you're at a club? 1.00

00:25:22.000 Uh, what would you do?

00:25:23.000 And then she goes, wouldn't you just dump her? 0.99

00:25:25.000 Cause she's at a club and you hate club girls. 1.00

00:25:27.000 What?

00:25:28.000 She abandons, she abandons her scenario before he can even answer her question.

00:25:36.000 I love this show, by the way.

00:25:37.000 If she came to me and she said, Brian, I want to be in a monogamous, serious, committed relationship with you, I would say, okay.

00:25:56.000 Here are my terms.

00:25:57.000 Wouldn't you cut it off before that?

00:25:58.000 Because she's not your type of girl. 1.00

00:25:59.000 Because she goes out all the time.

00:26:00.000 Wouldn't you just go find someone that fits more into that?

00:26:02.000 And also, why would you go to a club looking for a girl if you don't want a girl in the club? 1.00

00:26:08.000 That was in her scenario.

00:26:10.000 No, but she gave me this hypothetical scenario.

00:26:15.000 I think you just cut it off, to be honest.

00:26:17.000 I want to create a... I've written this down.

00:26:19.000 This is a dream world hypothetical.

00:26:19.000 Did you catch that?

00:26:23.000 So, the woman you love turns out to be a clubber. 1.00

00:26:25.000 How would you feel?

00:26:27.000 I would tell her, first of all, that I don't like you going to clubs if we're in a relationship.

00:26:31.000 But why are you dating her?

00:26:32.000 She's a club girl. 0.99

00:26:33.000 What?

00:26:35.000 Like, they don't get these situations.

00:26:37.000 I saw a much worse one than this, by the way, and it was some Asian chick on the show, and she goes, I have an OnlyFans. 1.00

00:26:43.000 It's to honor my grandfather's legacy.

00:26:45.000 See if you can dig that one out, Jamie. 0.99

00:26:48.000 He's a priest, and he never had any money, so I'm gonna honor his legacy by being a whore, basically. 1.00

00:26:55.000 You're a prostitute if you have an OnlyFans. 1.00

00:26:57.000 And that's gonna help his dead body? 1.00

00:26:59.000 Because I guess I'll make some money for the family?

00:27:01.000 And it wasn't even a given that she was giving the money to... Yeah, it's that girl next to her. 0.98

00:27:08.000 Yeah, go back a bit.

00:27:09.000 How long you been doing that?

00:27:17.000 Just about like two months.

00:27:18.000 Only fans.

00:27:19.000 I just started.

00:27:20.000 You just started?

00:27:21.000 Okay.

00:27:21.000 Yeah.

00:27:22.000 What got you into it?

00:27:24.000 If I'm gonna be honest, I lost my grandpa.

00:27:28.000 He's very close to me, so I kind of want to go with his legacy and I kind of want to... This is a 65 IQ, which you don't usually see with the rice balls. 0.98

00:27:35.000 But that's a really bad idea because I think that's not a good way to come up with money and share that with my family, but I have it.

00:27:46.000 Wait, you're saying you want to do OnlyFans to honor your grandfather's legacy?

00:27:50.000 Not in that way. 0.94

00:27:51.000 Was he like a porn star or something? 0.99

00:27:54.000 No, it's kind of like... My grandfather was a porn star. 0.98

00:27:57.000 That's a good t-shirt idea.

00:28:00.000 Wanting to kind of like keep his legacy going, but in that sense... Hold on just a sec.

00:28:06.000 We'll get back to that.

00:28:08.000 What?

00:28:09.000 Is it not going to trigger?

00:28:10.000 Hello?

00:28:11.000 Okay, I'll just read it.

00:28:12.000 Martin, what do you get when you mix a comedian and a blank star? 1.00

00:28:16.000 Okay, shut up, shut up, shut up. 0.99

00:28:20.000 I've also accused women of not being funny because they don't know suffering. 1.00

00:28:25.000 Like, there's two things that make humor good.

00:28:28.000 One is, well, concentration, testosterone, suffering, and also, as John Cleese points out, you have to be mean-spirited.

00:28:36.000 Most good jokes are actually evil and taking the piss out of someone and being mean.

00:28:41.000 Like, I started this show mocking Ryan for thinking he's better than Jimi Hendrix.

00:28:44.000 That's what humor is.

00:28:46.000 So then, by those rights, a woman who suffers should just be as funny as a man, right? 0.95

00:28:54.000 She's probably got some anger in her for what the world has done to her, and the suffering has given her a thicker skin and made her more humorous and self-deprecating.

00:29:02.000 Yes, I am saying that.

00:29:04.000 Take this severely handicapped chick, for example. 1.00

00:29:08.000 I hope a big, big boy likes girls in wheelchairs and chicken nuggets. 1.00

00:29:17.000 You get it?

00:29:21.000 Yes.

00:29:23.000 Isn't it awesome?

00:29:26.000 Yeah, it's funny.

00:29:27.000 I checked out her page, they're all good.

00:29:29.000 Two different shoes by the way, that's just funny.

00:29:31.000 Oh, she does?

00:29:32.000 Let me see.

00:29:35.000 Wait, isn't one of them like a foot brace?

00:29:38.000 No, well there's a foot brace above that shoe, so she went through a high top converse, and then she also, or I don't know if there's a converse, and then she's like, well, I guess I'll wear that on my other one. 1.00

00:29:50.000 Fuck it. 1.00

00:29:51.000 What a funny gimp. 1.00

00:29:54.000 I've also noticed when you see a super hot chick and she has a good personality, she usually has a severely handicapped brother. 1.00

00:30:01.000 So if you see a chick with a retarded brother, get on that. 1.00

00:30:04.000 She's a good person.

00:30:11.000 I don't get that.

00:30:12.000 I guess we're supposed to go look at the link.

00:30:14.000 Oh, she's OnlyFans-ing. 0.99

00:30:16.000 Frederic's Ataxia.

00:30:19.000 What kind of pervert is going to her OnlyFans? 1.00

00:30:28.000 That's funny.

00:30:30.000 There isn't a cure or treatment.

00:30:31.000 All right, last thing on feminism. 1.00

00:30:33.000 I thought this was interesting and it brings us to the war on kids, which is next. 0.57

00:30:39.000 This spinster old broad. 1.00

00:30:42.000 These are the ones who write articles about Proud Boys. 0.98

00:30:46.000 They hate their life. 1.00

00:30:47.000 They're a colostomy bag for everyone's cum. 0.99

00:30:49.000 Their boyfriends are in the double digits and they come over after 3 a.m. 0.99

00:30:55.000 and they leave around 9 a.m.

00:30:58.000 They want to continue their sleeping at home. 0.99

00:31:01.000 And they write for Huffington Post, and Slate, and Daily Beast, and all this shit. 0.95

00:31:08.000 And they have a lot of free time, and they have some extra money. 0.93

00:31:11.000 And they go to Africa, for example.

00:31:13.000 I love to travel, they always say.

00:31:15.000 I could never have kids because I love to travel.

00:31:17.000 So as Joshua Cash points out, this is what happens when one of them meets an African tribesman.

00:31:24.000 Okay, your oldest brother is?

00:31:26.000 Ninety years old.

00:31:28.000 Our father is 118 years old.

00:31:31.000 Wait, what's your father's job?

00:31:32.000 I don't believe you.

00:31:33.000 Can you count?

00:31:34.000 I don't think you're good at records.

00:31:38.000 My elder brother is a medicine man.

00:31:42.000 My father producing children.

00:31:43.000 I have 57 brothers.

00:31:49.000 Maybe they count days as like how many times the sun goes away and if there's a cloudy day that could be 5 days.

00:31:49.000 48.

00:31:57.000 But you only have two kids.

00:31:58.000 How many?

00:31:59.000 Me, yeah.

00:32:00.000 There's certain things like that, by the way, that will just be this time vortex.

00:32:06.000 The sun is rising in the sky today.

00:32:09.000 Today we have been talking for two months.

00:32:13.000 Before me to be a Christian, my target was to have five wives.

00:32:17.000 Ten children per wife. 0.99

00:32:18.000 My question is, how old are you?

00:32:29.000 Is it interesting that she probably has like natural hair, her afro, and she can't use all her products because she's traveling? 1.00

00:32:36.000 So instead of being proud of it, in fucking Africa, where it was invented, she covers her head. 0.99

00:32:43.000 And don't tell me she's Muslim. 1.00

00:32:44.000 No, they intend to have children at 35.

00:32:47.000 It never works out.

00:32:56.000 And if you wait till you're 4035, you will not have children.

00:33:01.000 Wait, you just said zero.

00:33:18.000 Now you want two?

00:33:20.000 She's laughing at these naive tribesmen that think women should have children. 1.00

00:33:25.000 What a dummy. 0.98

00:33:26.000 Speaking of children, let's get to the war on kids, another subject we discuss. 1.00

00:33:30.000 We are living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage. 0.99

00:33:40.000 Regulations to indoctrinate American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrines. 0.97

00:33:51.000 Anytime someone says something bad about things you love or think are good, say or what?

00:33:57.000 Like, compare that to what? 1.00

00:33:59.000 Like, say someone says, you suck. 0.99

00:34:01.000 You go, okay, well, I'm a 50-something dad with three kids. 1.00

00:34:06.000 Who's better at this?

00:34:07.000 Who's doing a better job?

00:34:09.000 And this is especially true of America. 0.67

00:34:10.000 You know that Heather Marie Scholl thing that went viral where she said, we don't have the best system. 0.99

00:34:15.000 America sucks. 0.99

00:34:16.000 Capitalism is evil. 1.00

00:34:17.000 And yeah, you can sit there and shit on America all day long. 0.99

00:34:20.000 You probably have a lot of valid criticisms until it's compared to someone else. 0.99

00:34:26.000 So they get mad about Make America Great Again.

00:34:28.000 They go, when was America ever great?

00:34:30.000 And our buddy who got bottled in the face for having a MAGA hat, remember him?

00:34:35.000 He's in the ambulance, and the ERs are saying, when was America ever great?

00:34:38.000 To him, as his face is falling off.

00:34:41.000 When this didn't happen?

00:34:42.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:34:46.000 When my face was on, undamaged with broken bottles. 1.00

00:34:51.000 Fifteen minutes ago, fuckface. 0.99

00:34:54.000 So, this always happens to me. 0.99

00:34:56.000 I always see these people criticizing America and I'm like, okay, that one's valid. 1.00

00:35:00.000 Yeah, okay.

00:35:01.000 And then you go, what?

00:35:02.000 But wait a minute, wait a minute.

00:35:03.000 What do you got? 1.00

00:35:04.000 And by the way, you're clearly using your tits to sell your philosophy. 1.00

00:35:09.000 Your philosophy can't be that great if it takes two tits to send home. 1.00

00:35:13.000 She's got philosophy cups. 0.99

00:35:15.000 Sorry.

00:35:16.000 The main reason why we left USA is because we became parents.

00:35:20.000 Okay.

00:35:21.000 And we started to see the negative parts about America.

00:35:24.000 Stop.

00:35:25.000 What do you think that accent is?

00:35:27.000 Negative parts about America?

00:35:28.000 Slovenia or something?

00:35:30.000 Or it could even be Colombian?

00:35:32.000 You know, some of these... Argentina?

00:35:32.000 Yeah.

00:35:34.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:35:36.000 It's one of those weird, every accents.

00:35:38.000 Like, it sounds like all of Europe and all of South America.

00:35:42.000 Okay, so, you're parents and you don't like America.

00:35:45.000 Alright, I'm open to criticism.

00:35:46.000 I'm not a fascist. 0.96

00:35:48.000 What are five things that suck about being a parent in America? 0.98

00:35:52.000 Go. 0.98

00:35:56.000 Number one is cool, more or less.

00:35:57.000 True.

00:35:59.000 I just feel like the family is not in top priority.

00:36:02.000 That is absolutely accurate.

00:36:02.000 True.

00:36:05.000 I think that we live in a lot of... The left especially has this sort of anti-family culture that's not cool.

00:36:11.000 Not cool.

00:36:12.000 Me no likey. 1.00

00:36:13.000 Way to cram your tits into every shot. 1.00

00:36:16.000 And they look like a butt crack. 1.00

00:36:19.000 I think they're real saggers. 0.96

00:36:21.000 Not that I hate saggers, but...

00:36:23.000 Not a lot of people share my incredibly wide taste. 0.98

00:36:27.000 I like this many different types of tits. 1.00

00:36:30.000 In fact, it's easier to list the tits I don't like. 1.00

00:36:34.000 Penis tits, tits that come up like bananas and look like a ferret head, and of course, totally flat pancakes with zero meat inside. 1.00

00:36:41.000 So, 0.01% of tits I don't like. 1.00

00:36:47.000 Stop. 1.00

00:36:48.000 Mass shooting on the rise.

00:36:51.000 Now, yes, if you are totally clinical about what mass shootings are, four or more, yes, you're going to find that that is wildly disproportionately African-American.

00:37:02.000 There's a myth going around that Dylann Roof represents mass shooters.

00:37:06.000 That is not remotely true.

00:37:08.000 Go yourself, look up the top 10 biggest mass shootings in American history. 0.95

00:37:12.000 You'll see, the pattern you'll see is mental illness, but you'll see a wildly disproportionate number of African Americans and a wildly disproportionate number of Muslims. 1.00

00:37:22.000 So I sense that she's not aware of that. 0.94

00:37:25.000 I sense she's talking about Dylann Roof.

00:37:27.000 But, uh, okay, yes. 0.98

00:37:29.000 Black gun violence is killing a lot of people, and it is a bummer, and I can see hating that about America. 0.98

00:37:35.000 That's not what she meant, but if you're a total robot, you could make that point. 0.99

00:37:45.000 Stop. 0.99

00:37:46.000 Yeah, that's all blacks. 1.00

00:37:48.000 That's all gang kids grabbing... Do you think she's from Moldova? 0.99

00:37:53.000 She is.

00:37:54.000 Oh, she is, yeah.

00:37:55.000 That's... What is that?

00:37:56.000 That's a gypsy town. 0.99

00:37:57.000 Former USSR stuff. 1.00

00:37:59.000 Yeah, it sucks. 1.00

00:38:02.000 It's a fucking shithole. 1.00

00:38:04.000 Um, but, if I, like, I'm taking her points literally, and I don't think she understands what she's saying, but yeah, these poor kids, baby mama has her coke dealer over, she's blowing him to get enough money for a Louis Vuitton bag, the little kid sees his piece sitting there on the coffee table and she picks it up and accidentally shoots herself in the head. 1.00

00:38:25.000 That's what those 12 children die from gun violence. 0.99

00:38:28.000 It's not school shootings, you silly cow. 1.00

00:38:31.000 You stupid gypsy bitch. 1.00

00:38:32.000 But okay. 1.00

00:38:34.000 Overpriced childcare.

00:38:35.000 How is this even legal to pay $1,700 for a single kid?

00:38:38.000 Yeah, well, why don't you stay at home with your kids?

00:38:50.000 Sound lazy.

00:38:53.000 Well, wait a minute.

00:38:54.000 If you want more personal time, why don't you stay home with your kids?

00:38:58.000 You don't have to be a money-making machine.

00:39:00.000 Are you just greedy?

00:39:07.000 Okay, so I guess you're going to somewhere that has the greatest food in the world with all kinds of quality constraints.

00:39:15.000 Like, I don't know where that is.

00:39:16.000 Maybe Sweden?

00:39:17.000 Norway?

00:39:18.000 Finland?

00:39:19.000 I don't know.

00:39:19.000 Who's the strictest about food?

00:39:21.000 Oh, that's why she's done?

00:39:25.000 Okay, so then I look up, where's she going?

00:39:29.000 She's going to Thailand.

00:39:31.000 Now, I've told this story many times.

00:39:33.000 My father-in-law's a genius and my dad's a genius.

00:39:36.000 And I was visiting my father-in-law many, many years ago when I first met my wife.

00:39:40.000 And, you know, it's kind of weird talking to nerds.

00:39:42.000 And then I just realized, why don't I just treat him as Google?

00:39:45.000 In a non-insulting way.

00:39:46.000 I was just like, what's the history of chairs?

00:39:50.000 Who made the first chair? 0.86

00:39:50.000 And he goes, well, chairs are almost impossible to date, but the most popular chair was in the 12th century with blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 0.86

00:39:58.000 And you could just ask him stuff.

00:39:59.000 He knows everything in the world.

00:40:00.000 What were the Slovaks?

00:40:03.000 You're Slovakian.

00:40:06.000 The word slave comes from Slovaks, right? 0.98

00:40:08.000 What's their history like?

00:40:09.000 Well, the Ottoman Empire, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:40:11.000 Fun!

00:40:12.000 So I get back I go my dad's smart and he's always yelling and stuff I'm gonna I'm gonna start asking him questions about the world so we go to a Thai restaurant and I'm looking around I know nothing about Thailand besides obviously the sex crimes and the child prostitution and they're all wearing their nice little uniforms dressed all Thai 0.94

00:40:34.000 And I, as they're serving us, you know, I quietly said to my dad, so Thailand, like, what's their history?

00:40:40.000 Are they a monarchy?

00:40:41.000 Were they ever colonized?

00:40:44.000 Uh, what's their, what's their story, dad?

00:40:47.000 And he goes, well, let's see. 1.00

00:40:50.000 If you can fuck a child for the price of a pint, it's probably not a good place to be. 1.00

00:40:56.000 Yelling that in the fucking restaurant. 1.00

00:41:00.000 So yeah, go to 17. 1.00

00:41:02.000 This is where she's bringing her children because America isn't a good place for kids. 1.00

00:41:09.000 Dude, there's an entire gay underage child section there. 0.99

00:41:12.000 I think it's called Boy Town. 1.00

00:41:15.000 And it's like a block of just boys after boys that you go, gays go and just fuck little boys. 1.00

00:41:22.000 Yes. 1.00

00:41:24.000 You probably know about it, right?

00:41:25.000 Huh?

00:41:27.000 Is that where you were made? 1.00

00:41:29.000 Did you come out of a gay's ass? 1.00

00:41:31.000 No. 1.00

00:41:33.000 Theory something.

00:41:36.000 It sounds like I hit the nail on the head there.

00:41:38.000 Struck a nerve?

00:41:39.000 A little too close to home?

00:41:41.000 Rittery no.

00:41:42.000 So whatever.

00:41:43.000 Sounds rittery true.

00:41:45.000 Rot is rot.

00:41:49.000 So, what's the truth here, lady? 0.99

00:41:51.000 The truth is, your husband's a fucking loser, he lost his job again, you guys are broke, so you're going to a place that is 100 degrees with 1 billion percent humidity, and you're gonna go there, he's probably gonna teach English, and you guys can live off your savings for a while, because rent is $5 a month, right? 0.99

00:42:07.000 And here's some of the stats on the gun violence you were talking about. 1.00

00:42:10.000 Why don't you just say five of the reasons we're leaving America.

00:42:14.000 Four. 0.96

00:42:15.000 Blacks. 1.00

00:42:16.000 My husband's a loser. 1.00

00:42:16.000 One. 1.00

00:42:21.000 This is something I used to approve of and I've changed my mind. 0.99

00:42:24.000 Surrogate mothers and gay parents. 1.00

00:42:26.000 The Dave Rubin deal. 0.99

00:42:28.000 Not healthy. 0.64

00:42:30.000 Gross. 0.97

00:42:31.000 You made an orphan from scratch. 0.99

00:42:34.000 This is Ollie London, that weirdo who thought he was Korean for a while.

00:42:39.000 Wait, go read the caption up above.

00:42:42.000 It's funny how these people on our side just come out of nowhere.

00:42:45.000 This guy was the laughingstock for operating on his face to become a K-pop star.

00:42:51.000 And then he got mad at everyone for letting him do it. 0.99

00:42:53.000 And now we're like, we'll take any tranny, homo, mentally ill person because it makes us look cool. 1.00

00:43:00.000 Mother cared her baby for nine months. 1.00

00:43:00.000 But he's got a good point. 1.00

00:43:02.000 Moments after giving birth, gave her child away for adoption. 0.98

00:43:05.000 The mother had previously arranged six months into her pregnancy to give her child to the two dads.

00:43:09.000 Yeah, I said that to someone once, because I know a lot of people who adopt.

00:43:12.000 They could never get a white baby. 0.72

00:43:14.000 And I said, uh, I said, why do gays always get white babies and celebrities? 1.00

00:43:20.000 That can't be legal.

00:43:20.000 Do they pay for it?

00:43:21.000 And they said, no, the mothers choose celebrities and gays over everyone else. 1.00

00:43:26.000 Wow. 0.97

00:43:27.000 Oh, that's why there's no white babies. 1.00

00:43:30.000 Aw, that's exciting.

00:43:31.000 Are you ready to meet your parents?

00:43:33.000 All right.

00:43:34.000 Are you? 0.99

00:43:35.000 Please don't be gay. 1.00

00:43:36.000 Please don't be gay. 1.00

00:43:37.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:43:41.000 This first word is fags. 1.00

00:43:44.000 Look, they're holding each other's hands. 0.99

00:43:48.000 It's an it's a Lamborghini to them.

00:43:48.000 They don't want it.

00:43:54.000 Okay, grab it.

00:43:58.000 This is dark.

00:44:02.000 This is weird.

00:44:03.000 This is the darkest thing.

00:44:04.000 This is like a sacrifice.

00:44:05.000 Look. 1.00

00:44:07.000 It's like you sacrifice your baby to the gay gods and the gay gods are going, uh... I didn't want this. 1.00

00:44:14.000 Hi.

00:44:16.000 Look at the way the other one's peering over his shoulder, too.

00:44:19.000 He doesn't want to touch her.

00:44:20.000 Or it.

00:44:21.000 That's a lot of hair for a newborn, isn't it? 0.97

00:44:23.000 Yeah.

00:44:24.000 Is it wearing a wig?

00:44:26.000 Look.

00:44:27.000 And they're doing it for the gram, right, by the way.

00:44:31.000 Uplift?

00:44:32.000 Where, to hell?

00:44:33.000 I thought hell was below us.

00:44:37.000 That just seems sick and wrong.

00:44:39.000 Uplift that baby out of their arms and please take it back. 0.91

00:44:42.000 And how dark when the mother's finally ah and then they put it on her chest for contact because the babies need contact immediately and then they're like all right thank you.

00:44:52.000 Okay there. 0.93

00:44:53.000 Imagine how fucking weird she feels. 0.99

00:44:57.000 Remember I told you I fought a woman? 0.99

00:44:58.000 She wants to go see them and they're like, sir can you get, ma'am can you get away from our baby please?

00:45:03.000 That's crazy.

00:45:05.000 I was sparring and they put a woman in the ring and I hit her four times in the face and for two days I was just like, I felt unusual. 0.83

00:45:12.000 That woman's gonna feel unusual for years. 1.00

00:45:15.000 Imagine on her way out, she's all like holding her cunt, and she's got the walker, and then she looks and she sees the baby, her baby crying, and they're both making a video of themselves, they don't even notice. 0.99

00:45:25.000 Hey, what? 0.99

00:45:26.000 We have a new baby!

00:45:27.000 Yeah.

00:45:30.000 And she's like, and it looks at her and it goes, Mama, why? 0.99

00:45:34.000 Damn. 0.99

00:45:37.000 Somebody's got to stop this. 0.99

00:45:40.000 This is interesting.

00:45:41.000 A couple is suing Massachusetts because during the trial process as they were being investigated, they go, do you believe in trans?

00:45:52.000 What if we have a trans baby to give you? 0.99

00:45:55.000 A trans baby. 1.00

00:45:57.000 That's as funny as my grandfather was a porn star. 0.99

00:46:00.000 Uh, well, we don't believe in that. 0.87

00:46:01.000 We think there's two genders. 1.00

00:46:02.000 We're Catholic, so that's kind of the way it goes in the Bible.

00:46:05.000 But, you know, normal stuff?

00:46:07.000 Yeah, we can't have you adopting.

00:46:09.000 Because if the baby grows up to be trans, and you don't recognize that, well, that would be child abuse. 0.88

00:46:14.000 No, the opposite is true, actually.

00:46:16.000 So, well, no, we disagree.

00:46:19.000 But, uh, the big picture is that you cannot be foster parents.

00:46:23.000 Like foster parent isn't the bravest and heaviest thing you could possibly do.

00:46:28.000 You temporarily adopt children, fall in love with them, and then say bye when someone's finally ready for them or the mother wants them back. 0.99

00:46:38.000 I could not handle shit like that. 0.99

00:46:41.000 I get mad when a Met is traded to another team. 1.00

00:46:45.000 I've taken this Met into my heart and he stabs me in the back. 0.99

00:46:50.000 I can't believe she married a thumb. 0.99

00:46:53.000 Devout Catholics, Michael and Catherine Burke, are suing the Massachusetts Department of... Oh, and there's the Commissioner! 0.91

00:47:02.000 There is the Commissioner.

00:47:04.000 Diversity, Inclusion, and Equity.

00:47:07.000 D-I-E. 0.98

00:47:09.000 Which brings us to LGBT. 0.86

00:47:12.000 Ah, yes.

00:47:12.000 We're really plowing through stuff here today, folks.

00:47:15.000 This will be very gay. 1.00

00:47:19.000 Why are you gay? 1.00

00:47:20.000 I felt ugly. 0.99

00:47:21.000 I felt gay. 0.79

00:47:22.000 And then we fell in love. 0.96

00:47:24.000 And then they eat the poop poop and we have a very good relationship. 0.99

00:47:27.000 I don't like the butt chick. 1.00

00:47:29.000 You don't want to see a close-up picture of my anus because you hate her. 0.99

00:47:37.000 By the way, you can get this diversity, inclusion, and equity shirt on censored.tv shop. 0.98

00:47:46.000 My favorite shirt we've ever made.

00:47:47.000 It really is awesome.

00:47:49.000 Like I almost wore it the other day and I was like, no, I want to save it for like when I go out.

00:47:53.000 Go out.

00:47:54.000 When I go to the club.

00:47:55.000 Yeah.

00:47:57.000 I gotta admit so these drag queen people I don't know why they only read to kids and not old folks or anything but anyway they read to kids to I guess to help trans kids feel good trans babies but they Muslims are very angry about this and they don't like it so these brave revolutionary leftists went to a mosque 1.00

00:48:18.000 And they told the Muslims that hate has no home here. 0.97

00:48:22.000 And I thought, well, that's brave.

00:48:25.000 Like, they always have the same big toe hugging sandals.

00:48:37.000 Haters make great storytellers.

00:48:39.000 I didn't know John Turturro was a gender.

00:48:45.000 Look, he's wearing a Slayer shirt.

00:48:49.000 I love Slayer, but I hate 8.

00:48:50.000 Look, we got furries there. 0.99

00:48:55.000 I think, whatever the fuck that is. 0.99

00:48:58.000 Oh, wait a minute. 0.99

00:49:02.000 Sorry, that's not a mosque.

00:49:05.000 It's a Christian church. 1.00

00:49:07.000 Because Christians are the only ones who let them get away with this fucking bullshit. 1.00

00:49:14.000 What is that person with the mask? 1.00

00:49:16.000 Stop, stop, stop!

00:49:18.000 Yeah, they're furries, right?

00:49:22.000 That one has ears, so that's a semi-furry.

00:49:25.000 What's that?

00:49:26.000 Those are ears.

00:49:27.000 Yeah.

00:49:28.000 That's like an antifurry.

00:49:30.000 An antifurry anime.

00:49:33.000 Sort of.

00:49:33.000 Because they have the tactical drop crotch ninja pants.

00:49:37.000 Oh my God.

00:49:38.000 They fancy themselves a different race. 0.82

00:49:40.000 Hey guys, we don't want strippers reading to our kids. 1.00

00:49:43.000 We don't want sexual beings reading to our kids. 0.99

00:49:47.000 You have a normal gay that wants to read a story. 1.00

00:49:48.000 By all means, let's go bananas. 0.99

00:49:51.000 And we really enjoyed your protest and we're looking forward to seeing you at the next mosque. 1.00

00:49:58.000 Where you can talk to people who genuinely fucking hate homos. 1.00

00:50:05.000 Speaking of homos, this was a disturbing bill passed. 1.00

00:50:09.000 California legislator passes bill reducing penalties for oral anal sex with willing children. 1.00

00:50:15.000 I just want to be clear here, there is no such thing as sex with willing children. 0.98

00:50:21.000 I thought we were all on the same page, by the way, with this.

00:50:25.000 But no, apparently not. 0.99

00:50:26.000 Apparently, if you have willing oral sex with a child... And I was giving the homo community the benefit of the doubt with all this anti-sound-of-freedom thing. 1.00

00:50:35.000 Remember that Rolling Stone reporter who writes about it every second day? 0.99

00:50:39.000 But it's not looking good for you guys.

00:50:41.000 And normal gays, you may want to check in with your brand manager. 1.00

00:50:46.000 Because there's a lot of your people who are saying it's totally awesome to fuck kids. 1.00

00:50:53.000 And if you make a movie that's anti-child sex trafficking, well, that movie needs to be banned. 0.99

00:50:58.000 And it's QAnon.

00:51:00.000 Because one of the actors liked a QAnon tweet.

00:51:04.000 Therefore, don't pay any attention to child sex trafficking. 0.98

00:51:08.000 Weirdest, this is the weirdest time for gays in the history of gays. 1.00

00:51:14.000 If I catch any of you fuckers alone, I'm going to fucking kill you. 1.00

00:51:19.000 When were gays born? 1.00

00:51:20.000 Invented, yeah, who invented the gays? 1.00

00:51:23.000 1960s, I guess?

00:51:24.000 Yeah.

00:51:28.000 So you've been around for like 60 years, 70 years, and this is the weirdest it's ever been for you. 1.00

00:51:34.000 And not just evil, like with this grooming kid stuff, but my new obsession, which is, and it's especially British, cops kissing gay ass. 1.00

00:51:47.000 Gays don't like you, first of all. 1.00

00:51:49.000 But why do you give a fuck? 1.00

00:51:51.000 Blacks are heavily represented in crime stats, so I'd understand you kissing black ass or constantly, like, listening to rap and making your car have a black fist or something like that. 1.00

00:52:02.000 I don't like that. 1.00

00:52:04.000 But I get it. 1.00

00:52:04.000 But this kissing gay ass dressing up in rainbows? 1.00

00:52:08.000 What's happening there? 1.00

00:52:11.000 I honestly don't understand it.

00:52:12.000 Well, you saw this, right?

00:52:14.000 All I see is me.

00:52:20.000 Man arrested after gay choir member hurt in homophobic attack.

00:52:23.000 And there's also... Man arrested for homophobic chanting.

00:52:28.000 And then there's also this autistic teen they pulled out of her house because the police brought her house for something unrelated, I think.

00:52:34.000 And then she said that one of the... She's like, oh, it's the officer that looks like a lesbian or something to that effect. 1.00

00:52:39.000 And like Nana, because her grandmother's a lesbian. 1.00

00:52:43.000 And that comment alone, they pulled her out of her house and cuffed her and... She's a lesbian like my Nana. 1.00

00:52:49.000 It's not a homophobic remark.

00:52:52.000 Yeah.

00:52:53.000 It's identifying someone.

00:52:55.000 And if it's so awesome to be a lesbian, then you should be happy.

00:52:58.000 That's a compliment, apparently.

00:53:00.000 Yeah, and she's autistic and then also has scoliosis and they were like, the way that they were folding her arm to try to cuff her was like very painful and it was a very disturbing video to watch.

00:53:10.000 Britain.

00:53:11.000 We're not far away.

00:53:12.000 Don't roll your eyes at Britain.

00:53:14.000 We're right there.

00:53:15.000 We're right around the corner. 1.00

00:53:16.000 You're going to be seeing shit like that very soon. 0.99

00:53:18.000 People having someone come to their house because of a tweet. 1.00

00:53:21.000 Did you see that black kid?

00:53:22.000 I think his name's Shay. 0.98

00:53:24.000 He's from Philly, but he was in Brooklyn and he was being queer and a bunch of Muslim teens stabbed him to death.

00:53:30.000 And I saw in the Daily Mail they were talking about the dad was there and he was looking up to the sky.

00:53:34.000 That's where his son is in heaven now.

00:53:36.000 Zero mention that he was killed by Muslims. 0.94

00:53:38.000 But whenever it's a black and a white thing, they go, a white police officer recently shot a black teen who was... So if it's white on black, they cannot wait to mention the race. 0.95

00:53:49.000 If it's any other scenario, even a black cop shooting a white kid, it's just a police officer shot a teen. 0.85

00:53:56.000 And with this story, it's just Shay's dead. 0.91

00:53:59.000 He was killed.

00:54:01.000 Okay?

00:54:01.000 Drop it.

00:54:02.000 Not Muslims murdered a homo. 0.99

00:54:06.000 Did you see this yet? 0.98

00:54:08.000 It's a little lengthy, but she just gives it to these muzzies. 1.00

00:54:08.000 No? 1.00

00:54:12.000 And this, like, definitely not a good priest priest.

00:54:15.000 He's smiling. 1.00

00:54:37.000 Imagine it was conservatives and they were raping Pakistani children? 0.99

00:54:40.000 Can you imagine how fast that problem would be solved? 0.99

00:55:04.000 I don't know man, a million kids raped and you're still tolerant?

00:55:07.000 I don't know if it'll ever die. 1.00

00:55:10.000 But see if you can find that black kid who was killed by Muslims in Brooklyn. 0.99

00:55:15.000 I think he was dancing gay? 0.98

00:55:29.000 And they were those kind of like Syrian Muslims who look white. 1.00

00:55:32.000 I mean, they are white. 0.93

00:55:34.000 And they stabbed him to death and the media just went, I'm not reporting on this because it could lead to racial or religious violence against Muslims. 0.94

00:55:44.000 Teenager?

00:55:47.000 Yes.

00:55:50.000 He faces a charge of second degree murder.

00:55:52.000 I wonder if they'll mention that he's Muslim.

00:55:55.000 No, they definitely will not. 0.52

00:55:57.000 The men yelled homophobic slurs.

00:55:59.000 Move that over to this way. 0.86

00:56:04.000 Eric Adams and his friends.

00:56:04.000 Blah, blah, blah.

00:56:08.000 No.

00:56:09.000 Keep going.

00:56:10.000 We can see the video.

00:56:11.000 Oh, there was video.

00:56:12.000 Verbal dispute.

00:56:13.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:56:14.000 Keep going.

00:56:17.000 Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:56:24.000 Um, it was a teen.

00:56:27.000 Look at that.

00:56:28.000 No mention. 0.99

00:56:29.000 Now, blacks are living by the sword, dying by the sword of the teen blanket. 1.00

00:56:35.000 And this is such a great victim for you, lefties. 1.00

00:56:38.000 He's black and he's gay. 1.00

00:56:40.000 Why not mention the other guy? 0.99

00:56:42.000 Yeah.

00:56:44.000 It's so crazy how they protect perpetrators. 0.99

00:56:46.000 I mean, even if they do mention it now, we're fifty-fuck, some-y? 0.99

00:56:50.000 Ula, 30-year-old gas station attendant. 0.99

00:56:52.000 No.

00:56:54.000 Who witnessed it?

00:56:55.000 He's the good guy.

00:56:56.000 There's a good guy.

00:56:57.000 At the news conference flanked by leaders from the city's gay and Muslim communities, Mr. Adams emphasized that killing was not evidence of hatred directed at LGBT by Muslims in New York. 0.93

00:57:05.000 So the only time we hear Muslims is to know that it's not evidence of Muslims hating gays.

00:57:10.000 Well, he said one of the men who approached Sibley and his friends said, I'm Muslim, I don't want this here. 0.99

00:57:16.000 Isn't that some evidence, Eric?

00:57:17.000 But that's a quote from Samia Ullah.

00:57:19.000 He's allowed to say it.

00:57:22.000 The brown guy said it.

00:57:22.000 It's fine.

00:57:23.000 Yeah, look, there's no evidence.

00:57:25.000 There is evidence.

00:57:26.000 Look at one paragraph above your head.

00:57:27.000 I don't know if you looked here in your article.

00:57:32.000 It's your neighbor. 1.00

00:57:33.000 The evidence is your fucking New York Times neighbor. 1.00

00:57:37.000 And his proof is... It's funny. 1.00

00:57:41.000 Eric Adams is Tom Hanks in the movie Big.

00:57:43.000 He's a child in an adult's body.

00:57:45.000 What is the evidence that this wasn't Muslim homophobia? 1.00

00:57:49.000 Well, because both communities have been victims of hate.

00:57:53.000 So?

00:57:54.000 And the two communities stand united against fighting any form of hate.

00:57:58.000 That's just false.

00:58:00.000 What does Lee Soulja Simmons say? 1.00

00:58:03.000 Fuck off. 1.00

00:58:04.000 What a mess. 1.00

00:58:08.000 All right.

00:58:09.000 And finally,

00:58:13.000 This trans-indigenous person... 1.00

00:58:16.000 regrets cutting his dick off, and he wants to die. 1.00

00:58:19.000 So he's suing Canada for the right to die. 1.00

00:58:23.000 You know how big Canada is on death? 0.99

00:58:25.000 Well, they're big on white death. 0.94

00:58:26.000 They don't really want indigenous people to kill themselves. 1.00

00:58:29.000 So if you're trans and indigenous, and you're already a victim of bullshit leftism where they convince you to cut your dick off, they go, no, we're not killing you. 1.00

00:58:37.000 So you're saying white people have more opportunities in Canada than indigenous people? 1.00

00:58:41.000 That's true.

00:58:42.000 When it comes to medically assisted deaths,

00:58:44.000 There is nothing but white privilege.

00:58:48.000 Go down a bit. 0.69

00:58:49.000 This person, who's I guess male, is so my type it's embarrassing. 1.00

00:58:54.000 I'm into Indians.

00:58:55.000 This guy is your type?

00:58:56.000 Yes. 1.00

00:59:02.000 If I was to go gay, it would be this person right before he dies. 0.97

00:59:06.000 And then that's good because he won't be able to tell anyone. 0.98

00:59:08.000 Right.

00:59:09.000 I'll help you get made, but I gotta get laid. 0.96

00:59:14.000 Get the Gavin initiative L-A-I-D.

00:59:17.000 Ew.

00:59:18.000 With the small i. My name is Lois and I am a sterilized First Nations person of Treaty 6 living on reserve in Alberta and I am also a post-op transsexual of 14 years.

00:59:30.000 June is more than Pride Month. 0.85

00:59:33.000 It is also National Indigenous History Month.

00:59:37.000 We must have our stories told, our culture shared.

00:59:42.000 We must seek truth and reconciliation.

00:59:46.000 And we must have honest conversations about the dark side of transition.

00:59:51.000 Listen to this. 1.00

00:59:52.000 This poor bastard. 1.00

00:59:54.000 You know what this is like? 1.00

00:59:56.000 She's just, he's just been thrown into the wood chipper of radical leftism. 1.00

01:00:00.000 And he's barfing out all their colloquialisms like a fucking broken robot and now he wants to die. 0.99

01:00:05.000 This is where following leftism leads you to the grave. 1.00

01:00:10.000 Go back and you should have stopped it while I was blabbing.

01:00:15.000 And my story, from a regretful transition to medical assistance and dying, I feel like I have contributed to the genocide of my people.

01:00:27.000 I am more than a statistic.

01:00:29.000 I am more than... Stop!

01:00:33.000 Listen to all of these cliches.

01:00:35.000 I am more than a statistic.

01:00:37.000 That is not okay.

01:00:39.000 I am contributing to the genocide of my peoples. 1.00

01:00:42.000 Indigenous Peoples Treaty 6.

01:00:44.000 I am living on the reservation.

01:00:46.000 White hegemony in the patriarchy. 1.00

01:00:52.000 I need assisted suicide. 1.00

01:00:57.000 A mess. 1.00

01:00:58.000 You know what we would have done to you on the right?

01:01:01.000 We would have said, there's an Indian. 1.00

01:01:03.000 It's gay. 1.00

01:01:04.000 Okay. 1.00

01:01:05.000 Go gay your shit up over there, but you gotta work on Monday. 1.00

01:01:10.000 And you'd be fine. 1.00

01:01:11.000 You'd say, no weird colloquialisms.

01:01:14.000 We wouldn't pay any attention to you. 0.97

01:01:16.000 You live in the gay part of town. 0.99

01:01:17.000 We have like little Israels everywhere for gays. 1.00

01:01:19.000 Here in New York, it's the West Village. 0.78

01:01:22.000 Then they kept colonizing.

01:01:23.000 They took some of the East Village.

01:01:24.000 Now they own Hell's Kitchen and all of Chelsea.

01:01:27.000 All right. 1.00

01:01:27.000 Go nuts, homos. 1.00

01:01:30.000 It's the left that goes, no, no, no. 1.00

01:01:31.000 We want to use you and milk you and squeeze your juice and program you and fill you with fucking hormones and then cut your dick off. 1.00

01:01:41.000 They're monsters, man. 1.00

01:01:42.000 They're like something out of a Pink Floyd video. 0.98

01:01:44.000 They're an evil cartoon in a Pink Floyd video.

01:01:48.000 And this is what you get.

01:01:51.000 Go ahead.

01:01:52.000 Skin.

01:01:53.000 I am more than your idea of what a BIPOC trans person should be.

01:01:59.000 By the way, you're exactly what my idea of a BIPOC trans person is. 0.98

01:02:04.000 Someone who deeply regrets their transition and wants to die. 0.98

01:02:07.000 You have, what, a 65% suicide rate?

01:02:10.000 Yeah.

01:02:11.000 So you're exactly what I expected.

01:02:13.000 Indian.

01:02:14.000 But until then, I am here to share my story.

01:02:17.000 Hi-hi.

01:02:20.000 Bye-bye.

01:02:21.000 Yeah, it's bye-bye.

01:02:23.000 All right, let's jump to My Pet Biden, the world's greatest president.

01:02:27.000 In the world.

01:02:29.000 My pet Biden.

01:02:30.000 On him I can depend.

01:02:33.000 My pet Biden. 1.00

01:02:35.000 A monster of a president. 1.00

01:02:37.000 He's big and blue and sleepy, but a friendly monster too. 0.99

01:02:42.000 My pet Biden. 0.96

01:02:44.000 Wait, that doesn't rhyme.

01:02:49.000 That was a live-action movie too, wasn't it?

01:02:52.000 My Pet Monster?

01:02:53.000 I remember Little Monsters.

01:02:54.000 It was a Saturday morning cartoon, but I think they also made a little animatronic guy, and he was in a terrible movie that flopped.

01:03:04.000 My son's working with Maddie now.

01:03:06.000 Oh, what?

01:03:06.000 On the pizza trucks, yeah.

01:03:11.000 What's the power?

01:03:16.000 Very Canadian vibes.

01:03:18.000 This smells of government grants.

01:03:21.000 Oh, it is Canadian. 1.00

01:03:22.000 Hey, I'm a fucking MonsterFact. 1.00

01:03:45.000 Hey Canadians, can you get some lighting, fuck? 1.00

01:03:47.000 I can't see anyone. 1.00

01:03:50.000 Alright, this is where we discuss the worst world leader ever in American history.

01:03:56.000 No, ever in history.

01:03:58.000 And before we do that, I thought we would indulge ourselves with what we've lost.

01:04:03.000 You don't know what you got till it's gone.

01:04:07.000 I like to spend some time in the My Pet Biden segment looking at the greatest president.

01:04:11.000 I want him back. 1.00

01:04:13.000 Fuck politics. 1.00

01:04:14.000 I want him back for the laughs. 1.00

01:04:16.000 I like laughs.

01:04:17.000 I'm a member of the funny community and we want a funny guy, not a sad ice cream guy.

01:04:23.000 I want a happy guy.

01:04:26.000 Listen to this discussion on, is it paper straws?

01:04:30.000 Just the edit?

01:04:32.000 Yeah.

01:04:33.000 Here we go.

01:04:40.000 They want to ban straws.

01:04:42.000 Has anybody ever tried those paper straws?

01:04:44.000 They're not working too good.

01:04:46.000 Right?

01:04:48.000 Has anybody ever tried?

01:04:49.000 Seriously, the new straw is made out of paper, right?

01:04:52.000 It disintegrates as you drink it.

01:04:53.000 If you have a nice tie like this tie, this would have no chance.

01:04:58.000 By the time you get finished, the straw is totally disintegrated.

01:05:02.000 Does anybody walk around with a plastic straw?

01:05:05.000 Because it's not bad.

01:05:06.000 You know, you whip it out, boom, boom.

01:05:21.000 You know why that is? 0.99

01:05:23.000 Because a fucking viral video went around that showed a straw being pulled out of a turtle's nose. 1.00

01:05:28.000 Which, by the way, that's Costa Rica dumping their shit in the water. 1.00

01:05:32.000 That's China. 1.00

01:05:33.000 That's Africa. 0.99

01:05:33.000 We don't do that. 0.99

01:05:34.000 We have landfills.

01:05:36.000 So we are punished for the sins of the Tico's. 0.99

01:05:40.000 That's a good name for today's episode.

01:05:42.000 Thins of the Tico. 1.00

01:05:45.000 But here's another fun fact. 1.00

01:05:48.000 That musician who did the Seinfeld music, when they first showed the network, the first couple episodes, they go, it's great, but that fucking music is gay and weird and gross. 1.00

01:05:58.000 I hate it. 1.00

01:06:00.000 And they demanded it stay.

01:06:02.000 And now it's iconic.

01:06:05.000 Here's an interesting video no one's ever seen of Donnie saying, don't riot.

01:06:11.000 So Don is, they're trying to prevent him from being president again because he incited a riot and tried to overthrow his own government.

01:06:17.000 No one understands the logic of that.

01:06:20.000 You're trying to take over the government with no guns and no plan?

01:06:26.000 I don't know if you've done a lot of coups, but taking out the most powerful nation in world history takes a lot of guns, a lot of military, a lot of planning, and a lot of blood.

01:06:38.000 I mean, if you really were to take over America, say China and Russia got together to take over America. 0.80

01:06:45.000 How many are dead?

01:06:47.000 100 million total?

01:06:49.000 And all three countries are completely wiped out?

01:06:53.000 That's a plausible scenario. 0.99

01:06:55.000 More plausible than the fucking J6 committee. 0.98

01:06:57.000 But anyway, their point was that Don egged them on and made them do it. 0.94

01:07:03.000 And this video was put on Twitter and immediately taken down.

01:07:09.000 So, it is my belief that the DNC... What are you doing?

01:07:15.000 This is Twitter.

01:07:15.000 I'm showing.

01:07:16.000 Oh.

01:07:17.000 The DNC orchestrated J6.

01:07:19.000 They opened the doors.

01:07:21.000 They pushed everyone to riot.

01:07:24.000 And again, as Joe Biggs' lawyer says, that's no excuse.

01:07:28.000 You know, you still have to have some culpability.

01:07:31.000 But the DNC worked very hard to foment this riot and blame it on Trump.

01:07:37.000 So when Trump said, don't riot, they had to delete it.

01:07:39.000 So they called Twitter and said, take this down.

01:07:41.000 And Twitter obliged.

01:07:43.000 I know you're pained.

01:07:44.000 I know you're hurt.

01:07:46.000 We had an election that was stolen from us.

01:07:50.000 It was a landslide election, and everyone knows it.

01:07:54.000 Especially the other side.

01:07:56.000 But you have to go home now.

01:07:58.000 We have to have peace.

01:08:00.000 We have to have law and order.

01:08:01.000 We have to respect our great people in law and order.

01:08:06.000 We don't want anybody hurt.

01:08:07.000 It's a very tough period of time.

01:08:09.000 There's never been a time like this where such a thing happened, where they could take it away from all of us.

01:08:16.000 From me, from you, from our country.

01:08:19.000 This was a fraudulent election.

01:08:21.000 But we can't play into the hands of these people.

01:08:26.000 We have to have peace.

01:08:28.000 So go home.

01:08:30.000 We love you.

01:08:31.000 You're very special.

01:08:33.000 You've seen what happens.

01:08:34.000 You see the way others are treated that are so bad and so evil.

01:08:39.000 I know how you feel.

01:08:41.000 But go home and go home in peace.

01:08:45.000 You don't say.

01:08:47.000 And where do we get that from?

01:08:48.000 Britain's News.

01:08:50.000 We've still got a lot to cover, folks.

01:08:52.000 We're already out of time, but I'm just going to plow through this because I want people who don't subscribe to this network to see the kind of stuff we do on this network.

01:09:00.000 And I never even get close to including every single type of segment we do. 0.86

01:09:08.000 How about Don calling Chris Christie a fat pig? 0.76

01:09:11.000 And the others are at like 12. 0.97

01:09:13.000 Correction, he does not.

01:09:15.000 One is at 12.

01:09:16.000 I think that's the sanctimonious, but he's rapidly being caught by Rameshwami.

01:09:23.000 Who's good?

01:09:25.000 No, Chris, he's eating right now.

01:09:26.000 He can't be bothered. 0.99

01:09:34.000 Sir, please do not call him a fat pig. 0.99

01:09:36.000 That's very disrespectful. 0.99

01:09:37.000 Don't call him.

01:09:40.000 See, I'm trying to be nice. 1.00

01:09:42.000 Don't call him a fat pig. 0.99

01:09:43.000 You can't do it. 0.99

01:09:46.000 This is why they hate him so much because he's a happy warrior.

01:09:48.000 They want him to suffer.

01:09:50.000 He just refuses.

01:09:51.000 He's been through hell already.

01:09:54.000 This is an old school example of Trump being awesome.

01:09:58.000 Sex is, like, not a big deal.

01:09:59.000 I think that's where this comes from.

01:10:02.000 Yeah.

01:10:03.000 Never heard of classy sex in the workplace, that's all.

01:10:06.000 Alright, I wanna just go to Marcus.

01:10:08.000 I want you to tell me what's going on with this team.

01:10:11.000 Why'd you lose, Marcus?

01:10:14.000 Um... Where do I begin? 0.99

01:10:16.000 Are you gay? 0.96

01:10:17.000 Um... Who do you think caused your loss, Marcus? 0.87

01:10:22.000 I think primarily, you know, the situation they brought up with Clay.

01:10:25.000 What do you think of Clay's performance?

01:10:27.000 I thought Clay, he exposed homosexuality as an issue that, to me, it was a bit much for the crowd.

01:10:33.000 You brought out homosexuality? 1.00

01:10:35.000 He kept talking about slapping the ass. 1.00

01:10:37.000 Are you a homosexual, Clay? 1.00

01:10:39.000 I am. 0.97

01:10:39.000 Yes, Mr. Trump, I am. 0.97

01:10:40.000 I know.

01:10:40.000 Is that true?

01:10:41.000 Yes, it is.

01:10:41.000 Okay.

01:10:42.000 Okay.

01:10:44.000 Marcus, did you know that Clay was gay?

01:10:46.000 Yes, I did.

01:10:47.000 Did everybody know this?

01:10:49.000 Yes.

01:10:50.000 Because I didn't know it.

01:10:52.000 So you don't find Olive very attractive then?

01:10:54.000 No.

01:10:54.000 And you don't find Felicia very attractive?

01:10:55.000 They're beautiful women, but they're not my thing. 1.00

01:10:57.000 Alright.

01:10:58.000 That's why they have menus in restaurants, you know?

01:11:00.000 I like steak, somebody else likes spaghetti.

01:11:03.000 That's why they have menus in restaurants.

01:11:04.000 It's a great world.

01:11:07.000 Sex is like, not a big deal.

01:11:08.000 How could you not love this man?

01:11:10.000 That's like a grandpa.

01:11:12.000 And then let's let's compare that to we have now latest story in the cocaine they found in the White House was that it comes from within the Biden circle.

01:11:20.000 But imagine he kept going with that.

01:11:22.000 He's like, you know, some people like like a pizza pie or something.

01:11:25.000 Some people like, you know, a hot dog with like two olives on each side.

01:11:30.000 Little bit of sprinkle like a hair.

01:11:36.000 Are you here legally?

01:11:38.000 Because I think I have a good motive to send you back.

01:11:41.000 Like a little Katamari in the back?

01:11:43.000 With a poo come out?

01:11:46.000 Um... The cocaine came from... The calls are coming from inside the house.

01:11:51.000 The coke is from inside the White House.

01:11:54.000 By the way, on Monday we're gonna do a whole thing on Kamala's electric buses. 1.00

01:11:58.000 And what a stupid idea that was, and how many hundreds of millions were sunk... Sorry, eight billion was sunk with those dumb school buses where they could get the kids to school in the morning, but then they were out of juice. 0.99

01:12:08.000 So the schools had to buy a morning set and a going home set. 0.75

01:12:13.000 And even then, the company went bankrupt.

01:12:17.000 Go ahead.

01:12:19.000 Alert!

01:12:20.000 Fox News alert!

01:12:20.000 A major update in the White House cocaine scandal.

01:12:24.000 According to a report cited by the New York Post, a source close to the White House says Joe Biden knows exactly who left the bag of cocaine in the White House.

01:12:35.000 And it's someone in the Biden family orbit.

01:12:39.000 But this source says it wasn't Hunters.

01:12:41.000 Now, we haven't verified the report, but if this is true, it adds another layer to the cover-up.

01:12:48.000 That's all you have to say, by the way, Rolo Tomasi, that you haven't verified this.

01:12:55.000 By the way, I'll end with this.

01:12:57.000 Remember we were making fun of him for talking to the President of Israel, Herzog, whatever, and he had cue cards?

01:13:04.000 I meant to translate that on the show, but I did not get around to it.

01:13:08.000 So, I'm going to do it now.

01:13:11.000 Ryan, play the clip we played last week, and I will show you that I speak fluent Biden.

01:13:17.000 At a political level.

01:13:20.000 And, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

01:13:39.000 Wait, go back.

01:13:40.000 And a lot of hard work.

01:13:46.000 We've got a lot more to do, but there's progress.

01:13:49.000 Last year we convened the largest gathering of Arabs and Israelis in a decade.

01:13:55.000 And we resolved the maritime boundary dispute between Israel and Lebanon.

01:14:00.000 Lebanon, I heard.

01:14:01.000 We opened up an airspace for Israel over Saudi Arabia after a little visit there.

01:14:09.000 And we brought Israelis and Palestinians together on a political level.

01:14:13.000 And as I affirmed to Prime Minister Netanyahu yesterday,

01:14:26.000 America's commitment to Israel is fine. 0.85

01:14:30.000 And it is fine.

01:14:32.000 All right.

01:14:33.000 Sorry.

01:14:33.000 We're going to take some time at the end of this show.

01:14:37.000 I'm going to go behind the paywall and I'm not coming out until I've solved the mystery of just those whatever two paragraphs.

01:14:45.000 And I will solve it for you.

01:14:47.000 But we we have still have way too much to get through for me to spend another because that's going to take a long ass time.

01:14:53.000 So, I'm sorry about that, folks. 0.99

01:14:56.000 The people who watch this show for free will never know what the fuck he just said. 0.96

01:15:00.000 And the people who pay, I 100% guarantee you will leave this show, by hook or by crook, knowing exactly what he said. 0.99

01:15:08.000 Let's jump into the competence crisis, Ryan.

01:15:11.000 I mean, sorry, whatever your name is, Chinky Man? 1.00

01:15:13.000 Uh, it's Chinky. 1.00

01:15:16.000 Okay.

01:15:17.000 You seem Japanese, though.

01:15:19.000 No, no, no, that's something really crazy.

01:15:22.000 Yeah, Japanese people say something.

01:15:25.000 Yeah, but I say different.

01:15:27.000 They say like something and I say like something.

01:15:31.000 So slower?

01:15:32.000 A little bit.

01:15:33.000 I don't know if you did that on purpose, but it's competence crisis, not a competency crisis.

01:15:51.000 Of course it was intentional.

01:15:53.000 So, we've got some affirmative action, we've got a female riding a helicopter, and another plane out there, and they're putting out fires! 1.00

01:16:03.000 Cause girls can do anything! 1.00

01:16:05.000 And then we also have air traffic controllers and people on the ground who are also girls and people of color, and we're finally getting these white men out. 0.53

01:16:15.000 What happens?

01:16:16.000 Oh, a helicopter crashes into a plane because the helicopter was looking at the fire and not the planes that were putting out the fire.

01:16:26.000 The aviation expert, it was likely that the Bell chopper was not in the proper position, he said.

01:16:31.000 I'm guessing that the pilot of the Slonsky Sky Crane was focused on the fire to make the run-in.

01:16:38.000 He or she

01:16:40.000 Yeah, it's a she. 1.00

01:16:42.000 We've looked into this.

01:16:43.000 Was not looking for any other aircraft in the area because that's normally a highly coordinated thing.

01:16:49.000 Again, the coordinators were also affirmative action.

01:16:52.000 He said you wouldn't expect the Slonsky to be looking around to see if there's another airplane on that very critical path.

01:17:02.000 He did not think the pilots were to blame.

01:17:04.000 No, of course not.

01:17:07.000 Here's some more affirmative action kills. 0.84

01:17:11.000 Two planes.

01:17:12.000 And I focus on aviation when I do the Competence Crisis, but I have like 70 other examples in other industries.

01:17:19.000 When we get to racism, we're going to talk about incompetence in medicine.

01:17:24.000 But aviation is a fun one because when anyone ever talks about society collapsing, they talk about planes falling out of the sky.

01:17:34.000 And they are.

01:17:35.000 Falling out of the sky.

01:17:36.000 I've had some people say to me like, when do you think it's gonna go get so bad we see planes fall out of the sky like an idiocracy?

01:17:42.000 Okay, how about this?

01:17:43.000 A WestJet plane clips military aircraft on the ramp.

01:17:47.000 Emergency crews attended a Canadian forces base in Comix BC on Wednesday after a WestJet plane clipped a military one on the ramp.

01:17:55.000 No one was injured in what WestJet described as a quote-unquote minor incident

01:18:02.000 Oh, okay.

01:18:02.000 Sounds good.

01:18:19.000 They provided no cause for the incident, though Gavin McInnes over at Get Off My Lawn blames the competence crisis.

01:18:26.000 And we were talking about selling playlists where we focus on one thing and we charge a buck or something?

01:18:35.000 If I do my aviation collection of the competence crisis, it is going to be two hours.

01:18:41.000 So maybe if you don't watch the show regularly, you just hear those two and they don't sound like a big deal.

01:18:45.000 No, that's number 78 and 79. 0.97

01:18:47.000 Similarly, I have as many examples of drag queens being perverts and being linked to child sex. 1.00

01:18:56.000 So that'll be another playlist we can put together that will go on and on and on. 0.98

01:19:02.000 Alright, I know that's only two, but we gotta jump to racism.

01:19:05.000 I'm a black female.

01:19:07.000 What other difference, what else could I have done to piss you off? 0.98

01:19:11.000 A black woman? 1.00

01:19:13.000 This is really inconvenient. 0.99

01:19:15.000 That's racist!

01:19:26.000 Do you have beeping in there because it's a fired smoke detector that doesn't have the batteries changed?

01:19:31.000 Yeah, I forgot to change the batteries on that bumper.

01:19:35.000 Sorry.

01:19:36.000 No, seriously, did you put smoke detectors in this?

01:19:38.000 Yes, I did.

01:19:39.000 I didn't notice.

01:19:39.000 Has that always been there?

01:19:40.000 Uh-oh.

01:19:43.000 We got to do a 23andMe for you.

01:19:47.000 No, that's not always been there.

01:19:48.000 I put that there like two weeks ago.

01:19:51.000 OK, what's that got to do with 23andMe?

01:19:53.000 Because maybe you'll pop black 1.00

01:19:56.000 Because you already told me about this? 0.99

01:19:57.000 No, if you pop black, you can't hear it. 0.88

01:20:00.000 Oh. 0.99

01:20:01.000 They have something inside their brains.

01:20:02.000 Oh, I get it now.

01:20:03.000 Finally.

01:20:04.000 So, we've had a problem with medicine for a while. 0.89

01:20:06.000 Just like with aviation, it's too white male. 0.97

01:20:09.000 T-O-O. 1.00

01:20:11.000 And we want to have people of color in there.

01:20:13.000 We want to have women running hospitals. 1.00

01:20:15.000 Women care. 1.00

01:20:16.000 They share.

01:20:17.000 And, you know, if a black woman gets pregnant and she looks up and there's somebody who doesn't look like her, she doesn't feel safe.

01:20:25.000 So I picture a world where the head of the hospitals is a woman. 0.96

01:20:31.000 And she decides who does what and who works with whom. 0.98

01:20:35.000 And then in that magical world, I imagine a black doctor helping black women give birth and having no idea what she's doing because she wasn't hired based on meritocracy and literally pulling baby's heads off. 1.00

01:20:51.000 Mama had a baby in her head popped off. 1.00

01:20:53.000 We used to play that as little kids with a dandelion and then flick it off.

01:20:56.000 And here we are doing it for real with affirmative action.

01:21:01.000 Family sues Georgia doctor after baby was decapitated during pregnancy.

01:21:07.000 Family says the Georgia doctor used too much force and decapitated, you have to move that over this way a bit, decapitated a woman's baby after it became stuck during delivery.

01:21:18.000 Can you imagine how hard you have to pull to pull a baby's head off?

01:21:21.000 They're not made of cake.

01:21:24.000 Jessica Ross is suing Dr. Tracy.

01:21:27.000 Look this up somewhere else, Ryan.

01:21:29.000 I have a better example.

01:21:30.000 Yahoo News is so boring.

01:21:32.000 It's that broad, yes.

01:21:42.000 And it's funny because you look at the, this is Atlanta, and you look at the whole, everyone's suing everyone, and it just looks like affirmative action on top of affirmative action on top of affirmative action.

01:21:53.000 Like, uh oh.

01:21:56.000 Wait, how'd you get away with not paying?

01:21:59.000 Um, I just clicked out.

01:22:01.000 Lawsuit accused doctor of decapitating a baby.

01:22:03.000 So there, that's the woman there being hit by text. 0.99

01:22:06.000 She's upset.

01:22:07.000 And then if we got the doctor,

01:22:10.000 I want a doctor who looks like me.

01:22:11.000 I don't.

01:22:12.000 I want a doctor who's qualified.

01:22:15.000 He probably does look like me.

01:22:16.000 There she is.

01:22:17.000 I hope your career's over, by the way.

01:22:22.000 He's wearing a nightie?

01:22:26.000 Babies are pretty resilient. 1.00

01:22:28.000 It's not easy to pull their fucking heads off. 1.00

01:22:30.000 No, and skin is very tough, too. 1.00

01:22:33.000 Yeah.

01:22:34.000 It's a very disturbing thing to imagine, but really, like, that's an insane amount of force you'd have to be doing.

01:22:41.000 Nice work.

01:22:46.000 This is funny.

01:22:48.000 So this woman runs in Florida, and she's Soros-backed prosecutor.

01:22:56.000 Now, this is a twisted view, but she says it's tyranny that she was fired because she was elected to do the job and to change the game. 1.00

01:23:03.000 Well, we had a pie-in-the-sky version of progressivism when we hired you, elected you. 0.66

01:23:09.000 And we hoped you might be nicer, but no, you were letting murderers, rapists and pedophiles go free.

01:23:16.000 That's not what we signed up for.

01:23:18.000 I'm speaking on behalf of liberals here.

01:23:20.000 We wanted someone who might want to, you know, revamp the prison system or have people wait less time before they get a trial.

01:23:27.000 Maybe you could expedite justice.

01:23:29.000 We didn't want you to let people free just because they're black.

01:23:33.000 And that's what she did. 0.78

01:23:34.000 And she calls that tyranny.

01:23:42.000 I think those are the victims of the rapists that are clapping there.

01:23:47.000 One year, three years ago, I was elected by the people.

01:23:52.000 One year.

01:23:53.000 Oh, excuse me.

01:23:54.000 Three.

01:23:54.000 Whatever.

01:23:55.000 A bunch of years ago.

01:23:57.000 More than two days ago.

01:23:59.000 To lead this circuit.

01:24:01.000 And yes, to do things unconventionally, to do things differently.

01:24:06.000 It is unconventional to excuse pedophilia.

01:24:10.000 That is correct.

01:24:11.000 I didn't say that I would do things and I didn't do them.

01:24:15.000 I didn't say I wouldn't do things and not did them.

01:24:19.000 I didn't see that part before.

01:24:21.000 I didn't say I wouldn't do things and not did them.

01:24:25.000 I didn't say I wouldn't do things and not did them.

01:24:31.000 Wow.

01:24:32.000 I did exactly what I said I would do and that is what you want from an elected official.

01:24:38.000 Sort of, yeah, I guess.

01:24:39.000 Elected officials are being taken out of office solely for political purposes, and that should never be a thing. 0.93

01:24:46.000 Well, you were making it cool to rape kids, which is kind of the theme of this whole episode.

01:24:53.000 There used to be a very high standard for the removal of elected officials. 0.95

01:24:59.000 There used to be a standard that I would have had to been criminally prosecuted for something.

01:25:05.000 Neglecting my duties meaning that I don't show up for work and do my job.

01:25:09.000 Neglecting your duties meaning not putting bad guys in jail.

01:25:13.000 You could show up and still not do your job.

01:25:17.000 If you want any tips, I can help you out.

01:25:21.000 My son, the other day, he goes, I don't like when people say the bad guys.

01:25:25.000 It sounds so juvenile.

01:25:26.000 He didn't say the word juvenile, because he is a juvenile.

01:25:29.000 And I go, no, we say bad guys, because what we're doing is we're mocking people who have a juvenile view of the world.

01:25:35.000 Like when we say, if you take away all the guns, only the bad guys will have guns.

01:25:40.000 We're insulting you when we say that, because we're putting it in kiddie terms.

01:25:45.000 Bad guys. 1.00

01:25:46.000 So it's a fuck you. 1.00

01:25:48.000 Or that I had some sort of an illness that prevented me from doing my job. 1.00

01:25:54.000 Yeah, you do.

01:25:54.000 Mental illness.

01:25:55.000 But under this tyranny, elected officials can be removed simply for political purposes and by a whim of the governor, and no matter how you feel about me, you should not be okay with that. 0.99

01:26:10.000 I'm not okay with child rape. 0.99

01:26:12.000 And finally, we have this black teacher who is openly racist. 0.99

01:26:18.000 And I don't think I have the update included, Ryan. 0.92

01:26:21.000 You might get it from Libs of TikTok, but she has been fired. 0.99

01:26:24.000 After bragging.

01:26:25.000 So, woke up to my sister being the biggest disappointment I've ever seen.

01:26:29.000 Look at the color of the arm wrapped around my sister. 1.00

01:26:31.000 My poor sis is laid up with a pasty in my fucking house. 1.00

01:26:36.000 Now she calls them cave dweller fuckers or something? 1.00

01:26:41.000 I'm inconsolable. 1.00

01:26:42.000 How many white classmates does she have? 1.00

01:26:44.000 My sis letting all of Europe take turns on her. 1.00

01:26:46.000 The disappointment I feel right now.

01:26:48.000 Our parents raised us better than this.

01:26:51.000 Where are they?

01:26:52.000 The girl spent all of her dowry and now laid up with a white. 1.00

01:26:57.000 Then she has some video, the guy in the black truck, yep. 0.99

01:27:01.000 She says, come kill him for me, to her boyfriend. 1.00

01:27:04.000 Here she is. 0.98

01:27:04.000 So, y'all already know why I'm having a bad day? 0.98

01:27:09.000 Because your tits suck? 1.00

01:27:10.000 My sister's a cave dweller smasher. 1.00

01:27:12.000 Stop. 1.00

01:27:12.000 My tits start at the top of my chest, my clavicle, and then they end at the bottom of my clavicle. 1.00

01:27:17.000 My tits have fallen off. 1.00

01:27:20.000 She just said, my sister's a cave dweller smasher. 1.00

01:27:24.000 That sounds awkward.

01:27:25.000 You should say, my sister smashes cave dwellers. 0.98

01:27:28.000 You know why I'm upset today? 1.00

01:27:30.000 You could roll up my tits like a carpet at a flea market. 1.00

01:27:34.000 In my house? 1.00

01:27:35.000 On this land? 0.98

01:27:37.000 I just want to let y'all know that I'm about to do everything in my power to fuck this relationship up. 0.88

01:27:46.000 It's gonna be so fun. 0.97

01:27:48.000 You can bite it.

01:27:51.000 And so satisfying to watch. 1.00

01:27:54.000 Okay, so I can't believe she's brought this cave dweller into my house does she introduce y'all and then Come and kill him for me Dre. 1.00

01:28:05.000 I promise I'll help you hide the body bring all four of your guns obviously she's Exaggerating but still this woman teaches our children and she hates white people Can you imagine if the races were reversed? 1.00

01:28:19.000 And I think she, I believe that she knows somebody with four guns. 0.57

01:28:23.000 Oh, no, Dre has four guns. 0.81

01:28:24.000 She's talking to Dre.

01:28:25.000 But she doesn't, she doesn't literally want him to be murdered and she won't literally hide the body.

01:28:30.000 Maybe.

01:28:30.000 She's just tactless.

01:28:31.000 Maybe.

01:28:34.000 It's a teacher.

01:28:35.000 So when white kids are putting up their hands in her class and the black kid puts up her hand, who is she going to go for first? 0.75

01:28:41.000 Who's she going to help?

01:28:43.000 How is she going to grade their tests? 0.96

01:28:47.000 I can't read that.

01:28:49.000 We have a negro-only house. 0.73

01:28:51.000 There's some other tweets here.

01:28:52.000 29 just fine.

01:28:53.000 Queen pick me, logically. 0.99

01:28:55.000 Very pro-black men, pro-black supremacists. 1.00

01:28:58.000 Why wouldn't I hate white people? 0.99

01:28:59.000 Why wouldn't I show y'all any love at all? 0.63

01:29:01.000 Name a big historic moment where white people did anything for black people out of kindness to y'all hearts.

01:29:05.000 Ended slavery? 0.93

01:29:06.000 I would not give a damn if white people had... what if... 0.98

01:29:11.000 I would not give a damn if a white person had what my bio says. 0.99

01:29:17.000 Because we already know y'all evil people, so it's right on. 0.97

01:29:20.000 Okay, keep going anyway.

01:29:22.000 So this blows up thanks to Libs of TikTok. 0.67

01:29:25.000 Can't wait to see first day of school.

01:29:27.000 All my new students. 0.83

01:29:28.000 I honestly hope, for their sake, they're all black. 0.97

01:29:35.000 Got me a real one, okay. 0.97

01:29:38.000 So that's proof that she's a teacher, right?

01:29:41.000 Thank you for being homophobic like I am, you're my soulmate. 0.97

01:29:44.000 So I hope all our students are straight, black kids. 1.00

01:29:47.000 There she is, more proof she's a teacher, right? 0.79

01:29:49.000 Make for a really fast graduation ceremony.

01:29:55.000 In and out.

01:29:55.000 So that's looped around now?

01:29:57.000 It is.

01:29:57.000 Now if you go down, I think it became an article on Libs of TikTok.

01:30:04.000 This isn't very good.

01:30:05.000 I saw the update in that Instagram thing.

01:30:08.000 It said update.

01:30:12.000 Libs.

01:30:14.000 I'm on their newsletter, which I highly recommend.

01:30:20.000 Here it is. 0.79

01:30:22.000 Black supremacist teacher is fired. 1.00

01:30:24.000 Let me forward your black ass that. 1.00

01:30:26.000 I got this on the text in here. 1.00

01:30:28.000 You can forward that.

01:30:30.000 What's that now?

01:30:32.000 Oh, that might be it.

01:30:33.000 Yeah.

01:30:34.000 No, that's not so good though.

01:30:35.000 The one, the one I sent you was her bragging about how, listen, y'all, they try to cancel me.

01:30:40.000 They think, look, my job, I already spoke to my school and they said, we cool.

01:30:45.000 First day of school walking through.

01:30:48.000 Oh yeah.

01:30:49.000 First day of school walking through the halls while Twitter thinks they can take my job from me.

01:30:52.000 Call me every name under the sun, but y'all will never be able to call me unemployed.

01:30:58.000 Um, was eventually discovered and then she says, what does she say?

01:31:05.000 She deleted her account and then she goes, um, she goes, yes, y'all have found my job.

01:31:12.000 They told me to delete the post where my job is safe since I did not directly wish harm on all white people.

01:31:18.000 Yes, you did.

01:31:19.000 Uh, they laughed and told me to watch what I say and I'll be good to go.

01:31:24.000 Being a great teacher pays off very well when they know your true self.

01:31:28.000 Just talk to the school board.

01:31:29.000 My job is safe.

01:31:30.000 Cry in the corner.

01:31:31.000 I told them it was a joke and they know I'm not racist.

01:31:33.000 So have fun.

01:31:35.000 Breaking.

01:31:36.000 Texas elementary teacher who made a series of racist anti-white tweets, including wanting to kill someone for being white, has been fired and is not eligible for rehire.

01:31:45.000 Says Mesquite ISD.

01:31:48.000 This kid left a review on the school.

01:31:50.000 One said, good, good.

01:31:52.000 I like it here very much.

01:31:53.000 Everything you need to learn. 0.93

01:31:55.000 Nikolai says, this school sucks because I was bullied there and so was my brother because we were white. 0.99

01:32:01.000 They had to turn black. 0.99

01:32:02.000 We changed it.

01:32:05.000 At approximately 4 p.m.

01:32:06.000 yesterday, Mesquite ISD became aware of a series of alarming racist statements posted to the X from a Twitter account of a teacher at Thompson Elementary.

01:32:11.000 Upon learning of the situation, our personnel staff began an immediate investigation.

01:32:15.000 As of this morning, the employee is no longer part of the Mesquite ISD organization, is not eligible for rehire due to privacy restrictions, blah blah blah.

01:32:24.000 And then finally, I thought this was interesting.

01:32:26.000 I sometimes, this is a good scam, by the way, if you want some beautiful oil paintings in your house, you take a picture you like, steal it from the Internet.

01:32:32.000 I have John and Yoko on a little paddle boat in upstate New York, send it to China for like 300 bucks.

01:32:40.000 They'll make an oil painting that's like four by three feet wide, three feet high.

01:32:45.000 And now you have, you know, a beautiful photorealist oil painting in your home for nothing.

01:32:53.000 So Kehinde Wiley, Kehinde Wiley, he does this scam too.

01:32:58.000 And if you look at his old paintings, they're pretty mediocre.

01:33:01.000 And then one day, boom, they're amazing. 0.98

01:33:03.000 And it's Kanye West as Napoleon and Jay-Z as fucking the King of England. 0.92

01:33:09.000 So he takes these classical pieces and he has Chinese people photorealize them. 0.99

01:33:16.000 And he's considered a great painter.

01:33:17.000 He literally has a studio the size of this studio with just Chinese people working around the clock taking his photoshops.

01:33:25.000 And this is his fantasy. 0.99

01:33:28.000 White people being beheaded. 0.99

01:33:30.000 And the pattern in the background is stolen too. 0.98

01:33:32.000 He did Obama's portrait.

01:33:33.000 Now you know what drives me nuts?

01:33:35.000 Go back to Obama's portrait. 0.95

01:33:38.000 His Photoshop is so lame.

01:33:40.000 Look at the... Zoom in on Obama's face.

01:33:43.000 Not too much there.

01:33:44.000 Look at the plants on either side of his head.

01:33:47.000 Like he's repeating the pattern in a really obvious way.

01:33:50.000 It's not meant to be wallpaper.

01:33:52.000 So you can't even do good Photoshop.

01:33:56.000 You see how above his ears on both sides the plant is the same?

01:34:00.000 And look, you can kind of see the line.

01:34:02.000 If you follow his right arm, the line of his right arm, follow that up and you can kind of see where the Photoshop flowers split.

01:34:11.000 You probably had a Chinese person fix that. 0.90

01:34:13.000 So our White House portrait guy does portraits of white women being decapitated.

01:34:18.000 Can you imagine if the races were reversed and Trump's portrait artist regularly depicted white woman dressed like Nancy Reagan, super conservative looking white woman, holding black woman's heads? 0.76

01:34:33.000 I literally can't imagine it.

01:34:35.000 It doesn't fit.

01:34:37.000 All right, final subject before we get to the mailbag.

01:34:40.000 Very short and sweet.

01:34:41.000 Proud Boys in Saratoga.

01:34:42.000 Stand back.

01:34:43.000 Stand by.

01:34:44.000 Proud Boys.

01:34:45.000 Proud Boys.

01:34:46.000 Proud Boys.

01:34:49.000 Somebody's got to do something about Antifa and the left.

01:34:52.000 Antifa's an idea, not an organization.

01:34:54.000 Oh, you got it.

01:35:08.000 So they went to eight chapters of the Proud Boys.

01:35:12.000 Albany, Troy, actually show the video maybe.

01:35:16.000 I sent you all this in airdrop.

01:35:18.000 Which one?

01:35:18.000 There's two videos.

01:35:19.000 A news article one?

01:35:20.000 Let's do the news article one, sure.

01:35:23.000 Look at how delicately they've... They're so delicate.

01:35:27.000 Alleged to be the Proud Boys.

01:35:30.000 The most interesting thing that's happened to upstate New York ever.

01:35:34.000 Local demonstrations by a group of people believed to be the Proud Boys.

01:35:38.000 News Channel 13 obtained new video today from the city of Saratoga Springs, and Tiffany Payton is here in the studio with a new look at this video.

01:35:46.000 Look at these marches.

01:35:47.000 Tiffany, what have you learned?

01:35:48.000 Good evening, Mark and Sabrina.

01:35:50.000 It's all in color.

01:35:51.000 Suspected Proud Boys.

01:35:53.000 In Saratoga Springs on Broadway, what you're seeing now is a demonstration by people wearing masks on their faces and the signature black and yellow of the Proud Boys, labeled by the Anti-Defamation League as a right-wing extremist group because of their views on race and gender.

01:36:11.000 The group was also spotted in Boston.

01:36:14.000 They were handing out flyers and one of the tenants included anti-racism.

01:36:14.000 Stop!

01:36:20.000 But yeah, let's go with that.

01:36:23.000 Sorry, I bet the ADL doesn't even say that.

01:36:28.000 I bet the ADL says they're far right extremists because their views on Muslims or something.

01:36:34.000 Anyway, an immigration.

01:36:35.000 A permit to do what?

01:36:36.000 They walked a block and played the national anthem.

01:36:57.000 Just, look, just Command-F race. 0.66

01:37:01.000 No, Command-F R-A-C.

01:37:03.000 Disgraced.

01:37:04.000 Disgraced, okay.

01:37:08.000 Oh wait, what's that?

01:37:09.000 No, Embrace.

01:37:10.000 Embrace, okay.

01:37:11.000 Disgraced.

01:37:12.000 Okay, but do R-A-C, or look up racism now.

01:37:17.000 Racism.

01:37:17.000 Well, the Proud Boys often publicly denounce white supremacy.

01:37:20.000 They say they're not, but they are deep down. 0.99

01:37:22.000 So they're liars.

01:37:24.000 Yeah, trust me, I'm right. 0.61

01:37:26.000 What violence?

01:37:27.000 The Proud Boys have zero body count and have been killed by Antifa.

01:37:31.000 Yeah.

01:37:34.000 Well, they haven't been killed.

01:37:35.000 That dude, Joey Bishop, wasn't a Proud Boy, but there was a dude who was hit by that truck and hospitalized at the funeral for Joey Bishop.

01:37:43.000 And Tiny got shot.

01:37:44.000 Tiny got shot.

01:37:45.000 He's in jail now for inciting violence with his foot.

01:37:49.000 Former Proud Boy, whatever his face, got bottled, like you mentioned.

01:37:55.000 Yep.

01:37:56.000 Okay, anyway, go back to the news piece.

01:37:59.000 Newscast on my four.

01:38:00.000 We'll take a closer look into the video. 0.95

01:38:02.000 Do you think they speed it up to make them look silly?

01:38:09.000 Back to you.

01:38:10.000 Tiffany Payton with the video obtained from the city of Syracuse.

01:38:12.000 They didn't speed up to get all the action in there because they looped it.

01:38:16.000 Information law and News Channel 13.

01:38:20.000 Okay, now let's see the video that Proud Boys put out.

01:38:24.000 It's pretty damning. 1.00

01:38:28.000 Let's fucking go! 1.00

01:38:32.000 More of that white supremacist rap. 1.00

01:38:34.000 Hate group. 1.00

01:38:35.000 Biden sucks. 1.00

01:38:57.000 Wait, HVNY. 1.00

01:38:57.000 I want this merch. 1.00

01:38:57.000 That was Hudsonville in New York. 1.00

01:38:59.000 Cool.

01:38:59.000 Yeah, that's one of the eight.

01:39:00.000 We think that you suck! 1.00

01:39:00.000 She's not happy. 1.00

01:39:30.000 Look, she's so mad that she did the white power symbol. 1.00

01:39:33.000 You are disgusting and should be ashamed of yourselves! 0.99

01:39:37.000 Now, on another episode, I said Saratoga's kind of right-wing, or at least it's MAGA a little bit. 1.00

01:39:42.000 And the horse races are there, it's a beautiful town.

01:39:44.000 I was wrong.

01:39:46.000 That's the impression I got when I was there a couple weeks ago. 1.00

01:39:49.000 And there was a lot of people supporting them, but it's been infiltrated by these fucking losers. 1.00

01:39:56.000 Fat, ugly chicks and guys with no standards. 1.00

01:40:03.000 The Hudson guys, no, the Troy or the Albany guys, they wear top hats because Uncle Sam is from Albany, I think. 0.99

01:40:12.000 He's a real guy, Uncle Sam.

01:40:14.000 Oh, there's someone filming.

01:40:20.000 I thought they were giving the thumbs up.

01:40:26.000 There we go.

01:40:28.000 Here's footage of them squashing a young, an old woman. 0.51

01:40:33.000 Squishing an old woman so hard they squoze, and she couldn't breathe. 1.00

01:40:38.000 She was screaming, I can't breathe. 0.95

01:40:39.000 They bear hugged her to death.

01:40:41.000 The painful showing of teeth there can be confused as they smile.

01:40:45.000 She was baring her teeth as a way of saying, get back! 1.00

01:40:49.000 Okay, I think we should wrap this up shortly.

01:41:01.000 Zach Reel did nothing wrong.

01:41:03.000 I think that said Zeke Hyle actually.

01:41:05.000 They were wearing a shirt that said Zeke Hyle did nothing wrong?

01:41:09.000 They spelled it wrong too.

01:41:10.000 Like six million Jews weren't killed by Zeke Hyle? 1.00

01:41:17.000 I can't believe Saratoga survived this.

01:41:20.000 And the other surrounding towns.

01:41:21.000 We have Zach Rales and Joe Biggs, Enrique and others.

01:41:27.000 Info at the end of the episode.

01:41:29.000 You can write to them.

01:41:31.000 Enrique, really?

01:41:32.000 Yep.

01:41:33.000 Okay.

01:41:35.000 Whose idea was that?

01:41:36.000 Well, Jay.

01:41:38.000 Jay sent me all the info.

01:41:40.000 Jay is a solid guy.

01:41:42.000 Jay is friends with the guy that was shot.

01:41:45.000 Okay.

01:41:46.000 I think Enrique's been disavowed by the club.

01:41:49.000 Wait, you gotta show the end.

01:41:53.000 So these are all the different chapters that did it.

01:41:56.000 That's Albany.

01:42:00.000 The old line.

01:42:02.000 The five points, that's on my computer.

01:42:05.000 I don't know where that is.

01:42:08.000 Syracuse, Rochester.

01:42:10.000 Ocean County? 0.99

01:42:14.000 That whole upstate New York thing is fucking blowing up. 0.89

01:42:18.000 I like how people go, so after January 6th would you say Proud Boys are done? 0.88

01:42:22.000 Yes, they're over.

01:42:26.000 No.

01:42:34.000 Only people can show their faces.

01:42:37.000 And then they made that chick who was going like this. 1.00

01:42:40.000 They made her into a meme within the community of the Proud Boys.

01:42:46.000 Oh, we're running out of time here, Ryan.

01:42:47.000 We're going to have to be quick on the letters.

01:42:50.000 So I have all the pictures and here they are.

01:42:52.000 All right.

01:42:54.000 Sage, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

01:42:57.000 That's awesome.

01:42:58.000 Proud boy.

01:43:00.000 There she is screaming.

01:43:03.000 There she is getting stomped. 1.00

01:43:06.000 I support our local Proud Boys, that's a good one. 1.00

01:43:10.000 You're disgusting and should be ashamed of yourself. 1.00

01:43:13.000 Yourselves, lady, yourselves. 0.99

01:43:15.000 All right, big long episode, but I really wanted to get in all our different categories.

01:43:21.000 Because lots of shows just say, here's 50 things that are on my mind.

01:43:25.000 We organize them so you can draw general conclusions.

01:43:31.000 Without getting example exhaustion.

01:43:33.000 It's not just random stories barfed out onto the screen.

01:43:38.000 It's concepts.

01:43:41.000 Do you, Chinky, do you have anything to say about that before we hit the mailbag? 1.00

01:43:45.000 Yeah, well, the form of the concept itself, when you show different segments of the show... Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.

01:43:55.000 Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.

01:44:00.000 Let me touch it.

01:44:05.000 So this is regarding yesterday's discussion about two attractive ladies, Liz Wheeler and her big four-headed friend.

01:44:12.000 We went back and forth quite a bit on who is more attractive.

01:44:17.000 Someone is sent writing in going, I understand Anthony's choice and why he made that choice.

01:44:22.000 He chose Liz Wheeler.

01:44:23.000 But the girl on the left will let you do whatever you want, right?

01:44:26.000 There's something about a pretty girl that you feel a sense of, she's too good for me to come on her face. 0.63

01:44:31.000 With a six or a seven, your standards aren't as high.

01:44:34.000 And you might even be able to do some of the most extreme things to her.

01:44:37.000 Does that make sense? 1.00

01:44:38.000 That's why I always tell guys, when they've broken up and they're suffering, fuck five fives. 1.00

01:44:46.000 And you'll get back on track. 1.00

01:44:48.000 Next, wild in the streets of London.

01:44:51.000 And we have something here on X that says, this is the youth of London, a trend on TikTok convinced them all to go to Oxford Street and rob a store.

01:45:02.000 And not one or two, but hundreds and hundreds of youths.

01:45:07.000 I think this might be old, right?

01:45:09.000 No, you're thinking of a different one.

01:45:13.000 Dang.

01:45:14.000 Yeah, it's a thing now.

01:45:15.000 By the way, we call them in New York, we call them rat kangs. 1.00

01:45:18.000 And I heard someone say that's a cringe name.

01:45:21.000 I don't think you understand what a rat king is.

01:45:25.000 So we call them rats because New York City just accepted that these things are here and they're always going to be part of New York City.

01:45:33.000 In fact,

01:45:34.000 It's that and the pigeon are kind of iconic images when you think of New York.

01:45:38.000 So there are rats in that sense.

01:45:40.000 And then the Kangs was added because a rat king is when

01:45:48.000 There's so many rats that all their tails stick together and they become this undulating mess of writhing rats.

01:45:54.000 That's a rat king.

01:45:55.000 So if you don't like the name Rat Kangs, you probably don't know what a rat king is.

01:46:00.000 Right? 0.98

01:46:02.000 Damn, I gotta go way down to find purple flags, yo. 0.99

01:46:05.000 Purple flags? 1.00

01:46:07.000 Like way the hell down, dog.

01:46:10.000 Purple flags.

01:46:11.000 Still going?

01:46:12.000 Okay, I'm finally... Native Americans in war?

01:46:14.000 No, that one's too long.

01:46:18.000 God doing bad things. 1.00

01:46:20.000 So we talked about Stephen Fry and how arrogant he is to say that if I die, I'm gonna tell God that he's an asshole for having bugs that can eat kids' eyes. 0.99

01:46:34.000 It is so often the Achilles heel of religion, and so we're talking about the problem with bad. 1.00

01:46:39.000 Like atheists always say, if there's a God, why are kids sick?

01:46:46.000 Here's his take.

01:46:48.000 We need context in our world.

01:46:50.000 If there was no pain, there would be no pleasure.

01:46:53.000 And if pain and pleasure did not exist, then there would be nothing we might call life.

01:46:58.000 We would be without consciousness.

01:46:59.000 Yeah, that's kind of what I was saying though, bro.

01:47:02.000 I was saying, what do you want to do?

01:47:03.000 Be Superman?

01:47:04.000 Like you can just fly and nothing can hurt you and you can't get cancer?

01:47:07.000 Okay, well now you're an angel, now you're in heaven, now you're not alive.

01:47:11.000 Being alive has to have some sort of risk.

01:47:14.000 When we hear of a child with a horrible illness, we are reminded of the frailty of life and that we should not take it for granted.

01:47:20.000 This provides the opportunity to reflect on our own lives and those close to us.

01:47:25.000 If a mudslide takes out a small village in Haiti, well, bad example, no one cares about Haiti, but say a plane crash, when we know people like us were on board, we feel empathy and reevaluate our relationships for a short time and hopefully grow a little as individuals.

01:47:39.000 And also, with the mudslides and everything, there's areas that are bad to live in.

01:47:43.000 You don't hear about mudslides in New York.

01:47:46.000 So when you hear about victims of a mudslide, it's like, yeah, you're in a mudslide-y area.

01:47:51.000 What's your, this is what I always say to them, what's your scenario?

01:47:54.000 There's no mudslides anywhere?

01:47:56.000 Is 100% of the world a great place to live?

01:48:00.000 Can me and my family move to the Sahara Desert and thrive?

01:48:05.000 This is the gift of life, the dynamic of a meaningful existence. 0.96

01:48:09.000 I think that works as the best possible reply to arrogant atheists. 0.93

01:48:12.000 Okay, and last one. 0.96

01:48:15.000 We'll go to the top here. 1.00

01:48:16.000 Island boys suck cock. 1.00

01:48:18.000 Did you see that the island boys suck each other's cocks? 1.00

01:48:21.000 Well, I saw them make out for their OnlyFans, and I assumed one of them was definitely gay, or I heard one of them was gay, but do they actually have sexual intercourse? 1.00

01:48:33.000 If so, that would be a perfect example of rock bottom as far as Western culture goes. 0.99

01:48:39.000 We have incestuous twins with corndogs for hair, severe facial tattoos, fellating each other. 0.87

01:48:48.000 I mean, that makes Sodom and Gomorrah look like Christmas Day at my house.

01:48:54.000 Alright, that's enough letters.

01:48:56.000 We're out of time here.

01:48:57.000 Apparently they were simulating.

01:48:59.000 Oh, it's only simulating! 0.99

01:49:01.000 Oral sex on each other. 1.00

01:49:03.000 Maybe we could simulate a guillotine execution. 0.99

01:49:06.000 It didn't make it to Instagram?

01:49:07.000 That's unfortunate.

01:49:08.000 And then go oopsie. 1.00

01:49:10.000 Oh, damn. 1.00

01:49:11.000 I wish I could see the island boys blow each other. 1.00

01:49:13.000 The island blow! 0.65

01:49:16.000 Alright, so.

01:49:18.000 Well, let's get to the final video.

01:49:19.000 Yes.

01:49:20.000 Let us get to it, kay?

01:49:24.000 What?

01:49:24.000 It's like a magic for you.

01:49:26.000 It's voodoo! 0.99

01:49:27.000 I have a juju man.

01:49:44.000 And he teaches me the voodoo of making people stay up by themselves. 0.99

01:49:49.000 Why are you standing up by yourself? 1.00

01:49:52.000 You're ugly. 1.00

01:49:54.000 Who says I am standing up by myself? 1.00

01:49:58.000 Yeah, we usually end the show.

01:50:00.000 So we're ending the free part of the show now.

01:50:04.000 I'm going to leave.

01:50:05.000 I'm going to sit with the Joe Biden video for a little bit.

01:50:09.000 Not too long.

01:50:10.000 And when I return, you won't be able to see this, Freeloaders, because we're cutting you out.

01:50:15.000 But the people who pay $10 a month to see this show and a myriad of other shows with a whole bunch of new stuff coming, they get to see these treats.

01:50:23.000 And they get treats from us every day.

01:50:25.000 I do a show every single day.

01:50:26.000 I do a live show five days a week.

01:50:28.000 And then Saturday, Sunday are reruns of my old show from seven years ago, uh, which you haven't seen.

01:50:34.000 It's pretty crazy.

01:50:34.000 Like Nick Mullen's on there, like Tim Deren is on there, like some other people you think- Yeah, it's pre-canceled, right?

01:50:40.000 It's pre-2015, pre-Trump.

01:50:42.000 So you see totally mainstream comedians coming on the show and having a gay old time. 0.88

01:50:46.000 Totally different time in the world.

01:50:47.000 It's like good old time, like- We're still totally offensive.

01:50:51.000 But, um... But, uh...

01:50:58.000 Oh, there's the guy from the Memphis Three, Ann Coulter.

01:51:03.000 It helped being in Midtown for getting guests. 0.99

01:51:08.000 There's that British chick with the amazing tits. 1.00

01:51:10.000 Mr. Dixon and Mr. David something. 0.99

01:51:15.000 All right, so let's show this cute video of this kid with the cutest accent in the world.

01:51:19.000 I worry about accents.

01:51:20.000 I worry they're dying.

01:51:21.000 Southern accents, the Bronx accent is dead.

01:51:24.000 New York accents, you don't hear them.

01:51:26.000 The Boston accent is dying.

01:51:29.000 Seattle, like Jimi Hendrix used to talk like a groovy hippie from the Pacific Northwest. 0.97

01:51:34.000 Now if you're black in Seattle, you sound exactly like you're black in Atlanta. 0.99

01:51:38.000 So there's a black accent, a white non-accent, and when you hear a little kid being southern, you're like, 0.94

01:51:45.000 Okay, good.

01:51:46.000 There is some culture remaining still. 0.57

01:51:49.000 This kid is talking to someone, talking trash, basically saying I'm the only guy that knows what jelly beans are and no one knows what they are.

01:51:58.000 You like jelly beans? 0.77

01:51:59.000 Yeah.

01:52:00.000 Okay.

01:52:01.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:52:02.000 You don't even know what... Do you even know what a jelly bean is?

01:52:06.000 It's something nasty.

01:52:09.000 No, it ain't.

01:52:10.000 No, it ain't.

01:52:11.000 Yes, it is.

01:52:12.000 And one.

01:52:13.000 Do you even know what a jellybean is?

01:52:16.000 Oh, I know you don't know what a jellybean is.

01:52:23.000 Jellybean! 0.99

01:52:24.000 So what does a jellybean even taste like?

01:52:27.000 Sugar.

01:52:29.000 Like sugar?

01:52:30.000 Ooh, no wonder it's nasty.

01:52:32.000 Sugar's nasty. 0.95

01:52:35.000 It ain't on strawberries and jellybeans.

01:52:40.000 And I know Tootsie Roll's good.

01:52:44.000 Is that a drop?

01:52:46.000 I don't know when we'd use it.

01:52:47.000 I know you don't even know what a jelly bean is. 1.00

01:52:51.000 It could be just like if somebody's stupid or something. 1.00

01:52:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:52:56.000 Clip that for for every time you open your mouth.

01:52:58.000 How dare you.

01:52:59.000 OK.

01:53:00.000 OK.

01:53:00.000 So bye to the freeloaders.

01:53:02.000 And everyone should check out a show in Baltimore in eight days, bro.

01:53:07.000 Yes.

01:53:07.000 One week we're going to be in Baltimore doing our offensive stand up.

01:53:11.000 It's very offensive.

01:53:13.000 It's very rude.

01:53:14.000 It makes me uncomfortable.

01:53:18.000 You can hang out with us afterwards?

01:53:19.000 Yeah, why don't you pull up that little commercial you made?

01:53:23.000 Commercial?

01:53:24.000 The thing you texted me.

01:53:26.000 Oh, okay, yeah.

01:53:28.000 Now, the audio's not so good, but I think otherwise... Well, the guy who made it is fired.

01:53:33.000 I said to him, I'm kind of a nine-strikes-you're-out kind of guy.

01:53:36.000 The problem with marriage when you have three kids is 0.99

01:53:42.000 You get to fuck like once every week, two weeks. 0.99

01:53:45.000 So when it finally happens, you're like, okay, you've got to get on. 1.00

01:53:48.000 I want to fuck you with your heels on. 1.00

01:53:50.000 Why don't you use a garter belt and fucking corset shit. 1.00

01:53:54.000 And we got to go full hawk. 1.00

01:53:56.000 And your dick is like boom, boom. 1.00

01:53:58.000 It's it's robbing like cartoon. 1.00

01:54:01.000 And you last, I don't know, 20 seconds.

01:54:03.000 So then

01:54:07.000 You think of your dad naked being attacked by dogs.

01:54:10.000 He's dying.

01:54:10.000 They got his neck, blood everywhere.

01:54:12.000 And that gets you like a minute and a half.

01:54:14.000 Exciting.

01:54:33.000 Alright, so I'm gonna go solve that Joe Biden thing, I'll be right back, and until then, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - August 14, 2023

S4E282 - THE EVERYTHING SHOW (Part 1)

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