Impaulsive with Logan Paul - 100 LIVE! THE 100TH EPISODE OF IMPAULSIVE

00:00:00.340 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

00:00:03.000 We have a new podcast.

00:00:04.320 It's called Don't Lie to Me.

00:00:05.700 I'm Lexi Iwanu.

00:00:06.860 We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

00:00:10.860 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one,

00:00:13.200 which means we have wildly different references,

00:00:15.440 occasionally different opinions.

00:00:16.760 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

00:00:19.580 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes,

00:00:22.540 Good Taste is my business.

00:00:24.740 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

00:00:27.620 or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:00:30.000 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator,

00:00:34.920 and host of Scam Goddess Podcast.

00:00:37.200 The true crime comedy podcast, all about robbery, fraud,

00:00:40.420 and those who practice it.

00:00:41.600 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

00:00:43.500 Ooh, I scammed them.

00:00:44.680 What?

00:00:45.140 I could talk to you for an hour.

00:00:46.680 You're a generational yapper, like me.

00:00:48.680 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

00:00:50.460 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.

00:00:53.960 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app,

00:00:56.920 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:00:59.080 Let's go, I've got it!

00:01:29.080 You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

00:01:34.660 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app,

00:01:39.160 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:42.180 I'm Hamza.

00:01:43.020 And I'm Martin.

00:01:43.700 And we're the hosts of Out of Character, the funniest podcast in the entire world.

00:01:47.200 Ra-ra-op-the-team.

00:01:49.120 The Russian queen.

00:01:50.820 I like that.

00:01:51.760 It's a good way to promote ourselves.

00:01:52.700 We are two funny guys having fun enjoying ourselves.

00:01:56.060 And we just know how to have fun, unlike anyone else.

00:01:58.580 If you guys like fun conversations, hot takes, what else?

00:02:03.100 Not too hot, just kind of lukewarm takes to get your mind thinking a little bit.

00:02:07.140 Listen out of character on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:02:19.620 Oh my God.

00:02:23.160 Ladies and gentlemen, we've done it.

00:02:26.060 I absolutely cannot believe it.

00:02:28.100 We got confetti cannons.

00:02:29.120 We got...

00:02:29.680 That was so lame.

00:02:32.900 Guys, you are watching the 100th episode of Impulsive, our first live show.

00:02:38.160 Hopefully, we don't say anything that can be a detriment to our careers.

00:02:42.460 Our PR team warned us and has prepped us, so we're good to go.

00:02:45.140 I'm worried about you.

00:02:45.840 No, I'm not.

00:02:46.340 How are you feeling?

00:02:46.860 I'm feeling sober.

00:02:48.440 That's good.

00:02:49.020 Not for long, though.

00:02:49.560 I think this show is definitely going to be crazy.

00:02:51.480 Guys, we have a lot of fun stuff planned for us today.

00:02:54.220 We have a special musical performance by Machine Gun Kelly.

00:02:57.840 at the tail end of the episode.

00:02:59.380 Machine Gun Kelly.

00:03:00.640 Who would have guessed?

00:03:01.400 We got him.

00:03:02.260 We got a special guest because...

00:03:04.220 I don't know if I should say it.

00:03:05.800 Abigail Ratch...

00:03:06.260 Are we ready to say this?

00:03:07.320 Hold on a second.

00:03:07.940 Are we ready to say this, Dylan Producer?

00:03:10.280 Hey, look.

00:03:11.000 Abigail Ratchford. 1.00

00:03:11.740 Back down. 1.00

00:03:12.240 Abigail Ratchford.

00:03:13.440 She's on Abigail Ratchford.

00:03:15.280 Canceled.

00:03:16.000 What's good, Abigail Ratchford?

00:03:17.460 It's okay.

00:03:17.820 It's okay.

00:03:18.600 Because we got a dope guest

00:03:19.520 coming very soon in about 30 minutes.

00:03:21.140 Theo Vaughn,

00:03:21.840 who is a podcast king expert.

00:03:23.280 The king of randomness,

00:03:24.360 which kind of is like

00:03:25.560 sort of your thing.

00:03:26.620 Nah, I'm a...

00:03:27.560 but a petty pawn compared to Theo Vaughn.

00:03:29.220 You guys are going to be really good together.

00:03:30.740 I'm excited.

00:03:31.180 I also invited more Instagram models with big old broads.

00:03:36.240 Big old broads. 1.00

00:03:37.200 Yep, they're coming, too, to replace Abigail Ratchetford. 1.00

00:03:40.460 Yo, fuck this. 1.00

00:03:41.940 No, you can't say that about her, bro. 1.00

00:03:43.840 Oh, we can cut it.

00:03:44.660 Abigail, we love you.

00:03:45.320 No, we can't.

00:03:45.960 We can't cut it.

00:03:46.480 Wait, hold on a sec.

00:03:47.180 You're saying this is really, truly live.

00:03:49.080 I can't cut that?

00:03:50.660 Yeah, there's like 50.

00:03:51.680 Abigail, I'm so sorry.

00:03:52.880 Also, I found out.

00:03:54.560 I am so sorry.

00:03:55.780 It's live.

00:03:57.100 I'll put my phone on airplane mode.

00:03:59.280 Can we show the audience real quick?

00:04:00.640 Hey, it's no caller ID, which makes me nervous because they're probably going to call again.

00:04:03.640 It was probably like a test to see if it was my number.

00:04:05.520 Please don't call again.

00:04:06.380 Just let us do the show.

00:04:07.020 But I found out even if we say something like controversial, there's a 10-second delay, right?

00:04:12.780 And we could yank the plug.

00:04:13.840 Not quite because it still shows that 10-second transition.

00:04:15.960 So we could yank the plug and leave the country.

00:04:17.900 And it'll still show, but at least we'll be on our way out.

00:04:20.700 Yes, exactly.

00:04:21.520 Back to Ohio.

00:04:22.460 Danny, get flights ready.

00:04:24.000 Thank you.

00:04:24.480 Um, this episode is actually, we have a sponsor.

00:04:27.140 Our first real sponsor.

00:04:29.480 Yeah, that's right.

00:04:30.020 Episode 100.

00:04:30.760 Maverick by Logan Paul.

00:04:31.620 Close.

00:04:32.080 It's actually the Challenger Games.

00:04:33.420 Happened here July 27th in Long Beach, California.

00:04:36.820 The fastest entertainers on the planet will be racing to see who. 0.99

00:04:40.100 I fucking told you, bro. 0.99

00:04:41.860 Can't you just mute it? 1.00

00:04:43.040 Yeah, I can.

00:04:44.620 Just put it on silent, bro.

00:04:46.660 What's wrong with you?

00:04:47.600 Facts.

00:04:48.520 It is on silent.

00:04:49.140 Wow, we're off to a sloppy start here.

00:04:50.740 Let me tell you guys a quick story.

00:04:52.380 All right, forget it.

00:04:53.440 Well, I was going to say it's live.

00:04:54.280 We knew some better stuff.

00:04:55.460 All right, so the Challenger games.

00:04:56.500 Thank you for putting me on the lineup, by the way.

00:04:58.660 Oh, yeah, you're welcome.

00:04:59.740 Sweats is running the 1,600.

00:05:00.740 What am I doing?

00:05:01.400 100 of the biggest entertainers in the world.

00:05:02.900 You're commentating.

00:05:03.720 I didn't think you could run with your feet the way that they are,

00:05:05.680 like paddly and flat.

00:05:06.540 They are.

00:05:07.040 They look like little canoes.

00:05:08.560 Is there something that he can throw, like a shot put or a javelin,

00:05:12.080 or is that too dangerous?

00:05:13.000 I think Mike doing anything involving any sort of physical anything

00:05:16.000 is not the move.

00:05:17.040 Yeah.

00:05:17.380 That's true.

00:05:19.220 Mike, were you ever athletic in your career?

00:05:21.640 I played T-Ball for seven years when I was 12.

00:05:24.640 Nice.

00:05:25.140 Oh, T-Ball.

00:05:25.820 Until you were 19?

00:05:27.140 Until I was 19.

00:05:27.920 I was a weird kid.

00:05:29.040 I was 19 playing T-Ball with four-year-olds.

00:05:31.700 It was strange.

00:05:32.720 I'm not going to lie to you, dude, but it really set me up for this.

00:05:34.960 You're a weird adult, too.

00:05:35.940 I also played intramurals basketball.

00:05:38.280 Shout out Rob's Deli, our sponsor, when I was 12 years old.

00:05:41.820 I was the dishwasher there.

00:05:43.020 That's how I convinced Rob to sponsor us.

00:05:45.360 Hey, shout out Rob.

00:05:46.880 Speaking of athletics, though, and the Challenger games,

00:05:48.800 we went to a charity basketball game yesterday.

00:05:51.640 with a bunch of celebrities.

00:05:53.060 Who was there?

00:05:53.640 Snoop Dogg, YG, Quavo, Two Chains.

00:05:56.260 I love Quavius.

00:05:58.000 Quavius.

00:05:58.580 Spanish version.

00:05:59.480 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:00.020 Who else?

00:06:00.880 Diplo.

00:06:01.280 Did you say Diplo?

00:06:01.640 Diplo was there, yeah.

00:06:03.360 Floyd Mayweather.

00:06:04.440 Yes, that's right.

00:06:05.320 A ton of talented people.

00:06:05.960 I was guarding, this is horrible news,

00:06:08.740 I was guarding Snoop Dogg, Snoop Dogg, and...

00:06:11.840 Did you get high?

00:06:12.900 I got high.

00:06:13.720 Contact high.

00:06:14.760 I got contact high.

00:06:15.580 That's not good.

00:06:16.560 Because they're going to drug test at the Challenger Games, aren't they?

00:06:18.760 I don't think so, man.

00:06:19.800 And so, by the way, if you want to enter the Challenger Games and you're doing steroids, you're probably fine.

00:06:23.360 Don't do steroids.

00:06:24.140 If you're all doped up on HGH and Tren, you're more than welcome to join us.

00:06:29.100 Bradley Martin, we're looking at you, brother.

00:06:32.220 But, yo, I was going to guard Snoop Dogg. 0.99

00:06:34.500 And, by the way, he's long as fuck. 0.99

00:06:36.640 Snoop Dogg's arms are, like, eight feet long. 0.99

00:06:38.460 Yeah, he's a big guy.

00:06:39.600 This is Snoop Dogg.

00:06:40.400 Some have called him the Slenderman of South Central.

00:06:42.960 He's, like, a wacky inflatable Iron Man.

00:06:44.620 Yes, he's that at the car dealerships.

00:06:47.900 And I pulled my hamstring, bro.

00:06:50.940 I pulled my hamstring.

00:06:52.220 Really?

00:06:53.680 Yeah, man.

00:06:54.180 And they said it's going to take two to four weeks to recover,

00:06:56.320 and the Challenger games are in 11 days.

00:06:57.740 It's my event, bro.

00:06:58.380 I have 100K in the line.

00:06:59.600 Now, this comes less than a week after we told the whole world

00:07:03.840 that Jake Paul faked his ankle injury.

00:07:05.880 Okay?

00:07:06.840 That's right.

00:07:07.500 Now we've got major pie on our face, dude.

00:07:09.520 I know.

00:07:09.840 Have you faked this injury?

00:07:11.240 No.

00:07:12.080 No.

00:07:12.680 No, no, man.

00:07:14.240 We were doing a lie detector test later, right?

00:07:16.240 dude his thigh was thick yeah we can talk about we're doing a by the way guys we're doing a i

00:07:21.040 have a small hair hanging from we're doing a lie detector test with logan paul later can you and

00:07:25.360 i'm asking the questions can you imagine ask me if i fake my injury like that's what i'm saying

00:07:30.740 i'm going to i see you're holding a sign says mike's fan question mark question because it's

00:07:33.860 hot how many people are in here i'm hot bro can we show the audience we have an audience camera

00:07:38.180 today yeah we do have an audience camera today guys we really went all in for this episode we

00:07:43.880 We have a very large audience.

00:07:45.680 It is live.

00:07:46.500 I'm not going to lie.

00:07:47.420 If I'm being honest, I'm slightly nervous.

00:07:49.740 So I actually want to bring in someone to alleviate.

00:07:51.800 One more thing on the basketball game.

00:07:53.180 Should we talk about what just occurred on Shade Room?

00:07:55.120 Oh, yeah.

00:07:55.720 Okay, we've got one more massive news story.

00:07:58.120 Just moments ago on a social media site called Shade Room,

00:08:01.460 this video now has close to 1 million views in 30 minutes. 1.00

00:08:05.760 Live footage of Tiana Taylor flipping out verbally and physically assaulting someone. 0.88

00:08:11.300 And everyone in the comments is like, somebody messed up.

00:08:13.180 Somebody messed up.

00:08:13.720 it went viral that someone was our german videographer david david are you okay david

00:08:20.440 so he's gonna be all right and so we're gonna i think we're gonna talk about that a little later

00:08:24.580 but i also i don't think it was tianne i think it was her friend her friend but i have footage

00:08:27.980 that i'm gonna roll on my show i won't plug it right now but it's called the night shift and

00:08:32.360 it'll come out in the next day or so good thing you didn't plug it that was that was good sorry

00:08:36.200 pam i'll pay your son some money i apologize i got 20 of him mom that's true that's not true

00:08:40.940 The Night Shift is also, I'm a business colleague, partner, affiliate.

00:08:43.780 You have, like, the T and H of the Night Shift.

00:08:46.660 You own that.

00:08:47.680 You own that, bro.

00:08:48.940 All right, yo.

00:08:49.400 So, yeah, like I said, I started off a little nervous.

00:08:51.560 I feel like I'm about 20 minutes in.

00:08:53.180 We're going to catch our flow.

00:08:53.900 Because you guys know also I've been in Sweden, which I want to talk about.

00:08:56.280 Okay.

00:08:56.520 But first, thanks for the family.

00:08:57.800 Do you like it?

00:08:58.520 It's nice, yeah.

00:08:59.120 Okay, go ahead.

00:09:00.340 First, I want to bring in a good friend of ours to maybe get an energy spike here.

00:09:05.020 Yeah, lube it up a little bit.

00:09:05.380 He actually lives right above us.

00:09:07.440 His name is Dwarf Mamba.

00:09:08.500 Dwarf Mama is going to do something for us.

00:09:11.260 What are you doing? 0.62

00:09:12.340 Yeah! 0.96

00:09:13.520 Come on, get in here. 1.00

00:09:15.040 Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama.

00:09:16.860 Can you see him?

00:09:18.380 Hop up on the table.

00:09:19.500 Get up. 1.00

00:09:19.760 Hop up, baby. 1.00

00:09:20.340 Let's go. 0.61

00:09:20.740 Why don't you hop up on this table, Ev? 1.00

00:09:23.660 Mama, hold on really quick before you do this. 1.00

00:09:25.320 We recently had you on an impulsive episode. 0.95

00:09:27.140 You've told us about the five steps you're going to take for a better life.

00:09:29.660 Now show us what you want to show us.

00:09:32.700 You want me to hold it?

00:09:33.600 All right.

00:09:33.900 What are you about to show us?

00:09:34.780 Please don't spill on my laptop.

00:09:35.900 I'm not.

00:09:36.980 Or the desk.

00:09:37.460 It seems like he's got a Bud Light can.

00:09:39.280 It does look like that.

00:09:40.680 Evan.

00:09:41.200 Evan.

00:09:42.040 Evan.

00:09:42.880 Evan.

00:09:43.580 It cost him $100.

00:09:44.920 Let's go.

00:09:45.760 Let's go.

00:09:46.200 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:09:48.440 Holy shit. 1.00

00:09:48.980 Yes. 1.00

00:09:49.560 Oh, my God.

00:09:51.320 That's incredible. 1.00

00:09:53.080 Holy shit. 1.00

00:09:54.440 Let's go. 1.00

00:09:55.580 Wow.

00:09:57.060 This man went to college.

00:09:59.200 Incredible.

00:10:00.120 Two years.

00:10:01.080 Two years in college.

00:10:02.300 Then he dropped out. 1.00

00:10:03.340 Hey, good shit. 1.00

00:10:04.320 Evan. 1.00

00:10:04.660 Wow.

00:10:05.100 Good stuff.

00:10:05.680 Want to pick up the mic?

00:10:06.340 How you feeling, dog?

00:10:07.460 You excited for us this episode?

00:10:09.160 Yeah.

00:10:09.440 After all, we are the number one podcast in the world.

00:10:11.360 Hit that subscribe button.

00:10:12.380 Hey, Caller Daddy, you got a great show, but do you have an alcoholic dwarf?

00:10:15.540 I didn't think so. 1.00

00:10:16.780 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:10:19.280 I didn't think so, Caller Daddy. 0.99

00:10:21.700 More like Caller...

00:10:23.380 I got nothing.

00:10:24.520 I got nothing.

00:10:25.200 Sorry.

00:10:25.960 It's okay.

00:10:27.280 Yeah, how are you?

00:10:28.560 Good.

00:10:28.820 I didn't plan on being up here.

00:10:30.440 It's all good.

00:10:30.980 Did you miss me when I was in Sweden?

00:10:32.220 I want to talk about Sweden a little bit.

00:10:33.460 I have a lot of fun adventure stories.

00:10:34.800 We usually do a guys-only little talk for the first 30 minutes, which we're going to do.

00:10:40.120 Guys, I have a lot to say.

00:10:41.900 Oh, what do we got?

00:10:42.400 I have a lot to say.

00:10:43.200 First off, to my boxing coach, Milton, who accompanied me my whole time in Sweden.

00:10:47.880 Milton, you are the best wingman I've ever had in my life.

00:10:52.120 Have you guys ever had a wingman whose only objective is to get you laid?

00:10:56.040 Literally.

00:10:56.980 That is the—

00:10:58.140 Bro, because he's got no agenda.

00:11:00.040 Yeah, that's rare.

00:11:00.500 You're my friend.

00:11:01.540 Yeah.

00:11:01.840 And you could be my wingman sometimes.

00:11:03.020 Not even close.

00:11:03.740 Not even close.

00:11:04.340 No, but let's be honest, Mike.

00:11:05.600 He is on a level unbeknownst to man.

00:11:08.380 The dude does two things, talks to every hot girl.

00:11:11.340 He has no fear.

00:11:13.240 With no agenda, though. 1.00

00:11:14.020 He's not trying to fuck him. 0.99

00:11:14.980 He's just trying to do magic tricks. 1.00

00:11:16.020 He does this, and they love it.

00:11:17.340 They go, where's the end of your finger?

00:11:19.140 Yeah.

00:11:19.500 That's what they say.

00:11:20.400 And he figured out the DM.

00:11:23.720 Yo.

00:11:24.420 Oh, it's over now.

00:11:25.780 That's dangerous.

00:11:26.520 I have a picture here.

00:11:27.520 I want to try to bring it up.

00:11:29.060 Milton DMed a few of the hottest Swedish models, and they showed up.

00:11:33.820 No, Milton.

00:11:34.340 For me

00:11:35.660 For me

00:11:36.640 Not for him

00:11:37.220 No

00:11:37.420 He's giving me the neck

00:11:38.520 No

00:11:38.800 Milton didn't DM

00:11:39.740 How to switch my

00:11:40.560 Should we also

00:11:42.000 Well I can't hear you

00:11:44.800 Because my headphones are still on

00:11:45.740 What

00:11:46.280 Oh no no no no

00:11:49.720 No

00:11:50.160 Milton

00:11:51.020 I made it very clear

00:11:52.240 It's for me right

00:11:53.280 I mean unless it was

00:11:54.200 For you

00:11:54.700 No it's

00:11:55.160 Okay okay

00:11:55.620 No Milton was

00:11:56.960 The number one wingman

00:11:58.420 I've ever had

00:11:58.940 He's also narcoleptic

00:12:00.120 We found that out too

00:12:01.520 The dude will be

00:12:02.260 Half conversation

00:12:03.040 He'll go like this

00:12:03.700 He'll be like

00:12:04.020 Hey, you guys like coffee?

00:12:05.260 Because we just ordered coffee.

00:12:06.320 I don't like coffee.

00:12:07.760 He's sleeping, though.

00:12:09.160 Dude just falls asleep straight.

00:12:10.560 He can sleep standing up.

00:12:11.380 He's like a horse, but a boxing training horse.

00:12:13.360 It was incredible, Milton.

00:12:14.880 I've gotten requests that you teach people how to nap.

00:12:18.180 A little like napping ceremonies where you tell them.

00:12:21.420 Because you can nap standing up, sleeping with your eyes open.

00:12:24.420 $100 an hour.

00:12:25.300 $100 an hour?

00:12:26.180 $100 an hour.

00:12:26.840 He's always trying to make money.

00:12:28.520 Can we zoom into this picture right here?

00:12:30.220 I have, and I'm so sorry to this girl.

00:12:32.420 But, like, bro, this girl.

00:12:34.040 Is that Corinna Kopp?

00:12:35.080 No, here's a picture of Milton.

00:12:39.520 Is he sleeping?

00:12:40.340 No, he's not sleeping.

00:12:42.220 He's awake.

00:12:42.920 But, like, I don't know if you can see the girl.

00:12:44.180 She's a beautiful girl.

00:12:45.860 And so I was wondering, like, if you guys could give me that type of sentiment when you're my wingman.

00:12:53.380 Oh, yeah.

00:12:53.700 I have no agenda.

00:12:55.260 That's true.

00:12:55.620 I have a girlfriend. 0.99

00:12:56.460 She's actually in here.

00:12:57.240 But can you do magic tricks?

00:12:59.140 No.

00:12:59.460 Are you able to remove your thumb without any instruments?

00:13:02.420 okay well looks like we've got someone else that could do the same trick as me that's i don't quite

00:13:07.400 think so and also when i was in sweden you guys hear about asap rocky yeah i did asap rocky bro

00:13:13.020 they've got a 600 000 signatures on a petition to get him out yeah i pulled i did i did a swipe

00:13:20.600 up on that yeah question for you 600 000 signatures where is he right now oh i was in work i was

00:13:27.860 informed it does nothing i was informed it does absolutely nothing you think after a certain

00:13:31.300 amount of signatures it would turn into a key to unlock the cell but yeah yeah it just doesn't

00:13:35.040 think the signatures have to be like in the u.s oh really i don't know you know what else i just

00:13:38.960 thought we got evan on the show we do have evan we've not said nothing to him i don't know yeah

00:13:42.380 i don't know well because i don't know i mean you can't leave if you want i don't i don't want you

00:13:48.440 to oh okay you're fine sitting i don't know are you drunk all right would you like to be

00:13:53.660 should we take a shot let's take a shot i mean i don't know it's it's not like we got sponsors

00:13:58.100 on this oh wait yes we do in fact in fact look at my chain what a sick transition this chain

00:14:05.180 the impulsive chain actually was made by my friend suny the jeweler guys first actual legitimate

00:14:11.180 sponsor i think i think we should take a moment on the 100th episode of impulsive

00:14:16.440 suny the jeweler he made this impulsive chain for me he made my maverick chain actually if you've

00:14:22.840 seen uh some of my previous vlogs he made your rolex he put the diamonds in your rolex yeah

00:14:27.300 Suny the Jeweler, he caters to all the NFL and NBA

00:14:29.440 clientele. They do giveaways for

00:14:31.360 diamond jewelry often, so whoever's following

00:14:33.320 them on Instagram has a chance to win. It's

00:14:35.280 at Suny the Jeweler. Follow Suny the

00:14:37.340 Jeweler. It's S-U-N-Y

00:14:39.560 on Instagram for a chance to win free

00:14:40.960 diamond jewelry. I like diamonds.

00:14:43.300 And jewelry? Yeah. I mean,

00:14:44.900 they help you get girls, too. I mean, girls love diamonds.

00:14:47.420 Quick question about that plug. Interesting. 1.00

00:14:49.480 I've never done it before. I know.

00:14:51.340 And by the way, shout out to you, Logan Paul,

00:14:53.460 for the plug. Great. And now,

00:14:55.120 So you get 20% of my revenue, right?

00:14:57.840 I'm just curious.

00:14:58.640 Does that work the opposite way? 1.00

00:15:00.240 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:15:01.360 We've been talking about this. 1.00

00:15:02.820 Mike wants a cut of the impulsive rev share.

00:15:05.600 Write in the comments below if you think I deserve it.

00:15:07.660 I mean, come on.

00:15:08.900 And by the way, I'll listen to your feedback.

00:15:11.120 No.

00:15:11.680 He goes, no.

00:15:13.360 No, you don't.

00:15:14.260 I'm basing our business partnership in here solely on your feedback.

00:15:18.340 And by the way, exclude Spencer.

00:15:20.360 It's just for Mike.

00:15:21.400 Please, hello.

00:15:21.980 Hello.

00:15:22.340 Hello.

00:15:22.660 Right here.

00:15:23.400 Okay.

00:15:23.760 Okay, so yeah, we got a lot of cool stuff coming up in the episode.

00:15:25.920 I've been told to tease the whole time.

00:15:27.520 Andy from Fyre Festival is going to be FaceTiming it.

00:15:29.440 I don't know how we got that.

00:15:30.480 By the way, what's his claim to fame? 1.00

00:15:32.280 He's the one who said he was fully prepared to quote-unquote suck a dick 0.99

00:15:36.580 to make sure the waters got delivered to the Fyre Festival. 0.99

00:15:39.900 Has there ever been a moment in your life that you've been prepared to do that?

00:15:43.260 To advance something?

00:15:44.220 There was one.

00:15:44.940 We discuss this.

00:15:45.300 We talk about this.

00:15:46.420 I'll ask it like this.

00:15:49.060 If for some reason...

00:15:51.280 We're live. 1.00

00:15:52.260 Shit. 1.00

00:15:53.760 If for some reason your boy is about to die and someone's like, yo, if you don't suck my dick right now, your boy dies. 1.00

00:16:01.540 Some hypothetical world, do you do it? 1.00

00:16:03.480 Like, would you do that for me, Spencer?

00:16:06.280 Oh, I thought you said one of his boys.

00:16:08.080 You don't have to.

00:16:08.940 You would?

00:16:09.500 Sure.

00:16:10.060 I don't want to share.

00:16:10.820 I don't want to share.

00:16:12.940 I mean, that's how I'd feel.

00:16:14.100 I wouldn't be excited.

00:16:15.240 Why would I be enthusiastic about it?

00:16:16.740 I want an enthusiastic double gluck gluck.

00:16:19.320 Yes.

00:16:20.560 I can't do it.

00:16:22.300 He wouldn't do it?

00:16:23.800 There's a lot of stuff going on, guys.

00:16:25.060 You hear about the aliens?

00:16:26.380 Aliens in Area 51?

00:16:27.540 Yeah, I did.

00:16:28.380 There's bad news.

00:16:30.720 Some of them I heard actually escaped.

00:16:32.920 There's like a reverse revolution.

00:16:34.140 You know how we're all supposed to show up there?

00:16:35.900 Right.

00:16:36.500 We're supposed to raid Area 51.

00:16:37.700 That's right.

00:16:38.260 Which, by the way, I don't think it's a great idea.

00:16:40.300 Bob Lazar, who made the alien UFO documentary, didn't think it was a good idea.

00:16:43.380 By the way, have you guys been seeing the memes quickly?

00:16:45.420 They're great.

00:16:45.740 They're the best memes I've seen in the history of the internet.

00:16:49.480 Woo!

00:16:50.940 So just the audience is supposed to go woo over there.

00:16:52.680 But, yeah, I thought about going, and then I know people are going to get mowed down with a 50-cat.

00:17:00.260 The United States Air Force said, like, they're fully prepared to do whatever it takes to protect U.S. assets.

00:17:06.780 Yeah, the Air Force said that.

00:17:08.180 Absolutely incredible.

00:17:08.940 They're willing to do whatever it takes.

00:17:10.320 Can you imagine if all these people actually do show up?

00:17:13.740 They won't.

00:17:13.900 Like, there are 1.6 million.

00:17:16.080 No, bro.

00:17:16.520 First of all, how would you get that kind of airfare cooking?

00:17:19.040 That would clear out the whole airspace to get 1.6 million.

00:17:21.540 It's too dangerous, bro.

00:17:22.360 But, yeah, some of the aliens escaped.

00:17:24.440 Some of the aliens are coming for us.

00:17:25.740 Here's the deal.

00:17:26.180 I don't believe you.

00:17:27.360 Yeah, I don't believe you either.

00:17:28.300 No, I don't believe you.

00:17:30.080 Because you tend to lie all the time.

00:17:32.080 That's why we're doing a lie detector test later.

00:17:33.940 Okay. 0.99

00:17:34.940 What the fuck is this? 1.00

00:17:36.720 Oh, no. 1.00

00:17:37.380 Oh, my God.

00:17:38.160 Oh, my God.

00:17:38.740 What's good?

00:17:39.080 Please, dear God.

00:17:39.760 Oh, no. 1.00

00:17:40.860 The fucking aliens, bro. 1.00

00:17:42.480 Oh, no. 1.00

00:17:43.660 Oh, no.

00:17:44.880 This is not good.

00:17:46.680 It also doesn't look like an alien.

00:17:48.360 Yeah, it feels kind of hot.

00:17:49.720 Good God.

00:17:50.380 What planet are you from?

00:17:51.300 If the aliens look like this, please send more.

00:17:53.460 Please send more aliens.

00:17:54.660 All aliens have one question for you.

00:17:56.660 What?

00:17:57.640 Are you ready to compute your failure?

00:17:59.660 Wait a second.

00:18:00.700 I know that voice.

00:18:01.480 I know this voice.

00:18:02.040 I know that voice.

00:18:02.940 I know this voice. 0.98

00:18:04.320 Take off your mask, alien. 0.56

00:18:05.560 We know who you are. 0.99

00:18:06.660 I'm a alien.

00:18:08.340 What's that?

00:18:09.200 Why are you from the Soviet Union? 0.98

00:18:11.720 Take off your head. 0.99

00:18:12.960 All aliens from Soviet Union. 1.00

00:18:15.700 Oh, the aliens are from Russia.

00:18:18.040 It makes sense.

00:18:18.640 Who is creating aliens?

00:18:20.880 This is what happened in Russia.

00:18:22.880 We probably stopped at the lights, I think.

00:18:24.880 Yeah, maybe that's because, you know, an aneurysm wouldn't be good right about now, right?

00:18:28.880 What's the answer?

00:18:29.880 What do you want from me? 1.00

00:18:31.880 Yo, Russian guy, take the shit off. You got about five seconds. 1.00

00:18:34.880 Take the hat off. Listen, we know you're not an alien, dude.

00:18:36.880 And especially not you. You're way too hot to be an alien.

00:18:38.880 Wow. 0.72

00:18:40.880 Isn't this the girl we were supposed to win if you beat the Russian dude in the fight?

00:18:43.880 I'm tired of this game. 0.53

00:18:44.880 Yes, exactly. It's what she is. 0.95

00:18:46.880 oh my god it's the random russian guy that showed up to fight logan how are you thanks for coming

00:18:54.120 man and by the way he showed up outside our house again just like this oh this wasn't planned at all

00:18:59.000 he literally showed up by the way one more quick

00:19:01.760 we've changed our mind about winning your girlfriend okay you change your mind yes 0.97

00:19:11.120 Only girls can change their mind

00:19:13.160 Men's cannot 1.00

00:19:13.980 Oh yeah

00:19:15.620 You didn't know that?

00:19:16.440 That makes sense

00:19:17.200 Yeah

00:19:17.760 Okay

00:19:18.680 Thank you

00:19:19.620 That makes sense

00:19:23.620 I kind of knew only men

00:19:24.840 Can change their mind

00:19:25.860 I hope I never make

00:19:27.020 The wrong selection

00:19:27.540 Off a menu at the restaurant

00:19:28.600 I'm just locked in dude

00:19:30.600 Nope

00:19:31.000 No mind changing there

00:19:32.100 Spence is it

00:19:32.960 Is it true that you're

00:19:33.740 Getting a tattoo

00:19:34.340 Yeah

00:19:35.480 Later in this episode

00:19:36.320 Yeah

00:19:36.560 You are getting a tattoo

00:19:37.300 Do you think that's a bit 0.97

00:19:38.360 Silly and hasty 0.97

00:19:39.900 Yeah 0.99

00:19:41.320 Okay, cool.

00:19:41.980 Totally.

00:19:42.440 Impulse of the number one podcast in the world, of course.

00:19:44.920 And I'm actually getting a part of my body pierced.

00:19:47.520 Really?

00:19:48.040 There we go again.

00:19:48.840 Now who is it this time?

00:19:49.640 That was not me.

00:19:50.520 That's Mac.

00:19:51.200 Who is it this time?

00:19:52.240 I'm getting a part of my body pierced.

00:19:53.420 So if you guys want to tweet at us, please do.

00:19:54.980 We're going to be answering some live fan questions later.

00:19:57.180 And once we catch a good flow, because this live thing is interesting.

00:20:00.640 Yeah.

00:20:00.920 You know what I'm saying, boys?

00:20:02.100 It is.

00:20:02.540 I'll tell you why it's interesting.

00:20:03.420 There's just so many formats.

00:20:04.960 It's like every day he's got a sign.

00:20:06.460 Well, also, by Evan.

00:20:07.980 Oh, by Evan.

00:20:08.960 Well, also.

00:20:09.480 Can I leave that?

00:20:10.040 His sign says buy Evan.

00:20:12.400 It's such a cute.

00:20:13.380 Buy Evan.

00:20:13.900 Buy Evan.

00:20:14.560 Thank you.

00:20:15.280 Oh, man.

00:20:15.900 Round one.

00:20:16.460 Yeah.

00:20:16.980 Let's be in. 1.00

00:20:18.780 He goes the fuck off. 0.99

00:20:20.820 No, we love you, Evan. 0.99

00:20:25.280 But yeah, it's interesting because we're doing stuff that's like really crazy, funny, outrageous,

00:20:29.500 such as me later in the show getting a part of my body pierce, you getting a tattoo, the

00:20:33.600 lie detector test.

00:20:34.560 On a normal podcast, it's not quite like that.

00:20:36.440 We talk about this.

00:20:37.280 Should we talk about things, guys?

00:20:38.480 Do we have anything of value

00:20:39.680 To add to the audience

00:20:40.520 I got one

00:20:42.660 I got one

00:20:43.320 This happened in Sweden

00:20:44.360 Talked about it

00:20:45.400 On Jake and Logan

00:20:46.060 Okay

00:20:47.660 I was asleep

00:20:49.060 And I've always been afraid

00:20:50.560 Of this happening

00:20:51.080 But I've witnessed it

00:20:52.120 For the first time in my life

00:20:52.860 I was sleeping

00:20:53.500 Next to a girl

00:20:54.300 Post-coitus

00:20:56.560 Sorry

00:20:57.400 What was the word?

00:20:58.220 Coitus

00:20:58.660 I'm sorry

00:20:59.800 Coitus

00:21:00.280 Coifish

00:21:01.540 What do you

00:21:02.040 Coitus 0.98

00:21:02.760 It's sex 0.83

00:21:03.360 Post-coitus 0.96

00:21:04.660 Is that

00:21:05.420 Is he making that off?

00:21:06.680 I'm trying to be diplomatic

00:21:07.540 I think it's a good thing.

00:21:08.780 Post-courtist.

00:21:10.400 And it was like 3 a.m.

00:21:12.620 And for some reason, I woke up.

00:21:15.900 My eyes snapped open.

00:21:17.180 And as soon as they snapped open, this girl's flash went off in my face. 0.98

00:21:22.940 Her flash for her phone. 0.99

00:21:23.720 What?

00:21:24.240 And her phone is right here.

00:21:25.460 It's not six inches from my face.

00:21:27.400 And I look at her.

00:21:28.520 I'm like, explain yourself.

00:21:31.960 I grabbed her phone, obviously.

00:21:33.060 And she's like, oh, no, no, no.

00:21:34.020 I meant to take a self.

00:21:35.820 Is her music playing?

00:21:36.480 Why would you take a selfie at 3 a.m.?

00:21:39.320 Is this some sort of music playing? 1.00

00:21:41.760 This is a shit show. 1.00

00:21:43.680 This is a god dang train wreck. 1.00

00:21:46.400 Spencer was playing music.

00:21:47.600 Oh, it was Spencer?

00:21:48.680 All right, so what happened?

00:21:49.560 So she flashes in your face.

00:21:50.800 Yeah, so I want to ask some fans later, like, what I do in this situation.

00:21:56.280 So she flashes it in my face, and it struck me to a core.

00:22:01.900 Like I, as much as it sucks, bro, I just can't trust people anymore.

00:22:06.500 Like anyone, like I believe in people, bro.

00:22:08.780 Dude, you can trust people.

00:22:09.840 You just maybe shouldn't trust a foreign woman in your bed in Sweden that you don't know.

00:22:14.920 Just that makes sense.

00:22:15.940 But I believed in her, bro.

00:22:17.740 I believed in her.

00:22:19.100 I believe.

00:22:19.600 And, and the only thing that came across my mind was like, this is why celebrities in LA,

00:22:23.480 like take your phones before you go into the party. 0.98

00:22:25.340 Cause of crazy shit like this happening. 1.00

00:22:27.000 And I called her a weird, creepy pervert girl. 1.00

00:22:29.060 I said, lady, you can't take pictures of people when they're sleeping. 0.82

00:22:31.080 This same thing happened with Julian Edelman.

00:22:33.480 Do you guys remember this?

00:22:34.520 Yes.

00:22:35.280 Yes.

00:22:35.440 The girl he was hooking up with took a picture of herself with him sleeping in the background

00:22:42.040 and posted it.

00:22:43.060 Yeah. 1.00

00:22:43.500 Just fucked Julian Edelman. 1.00

00:22:45.660 I think that was the caption on it. 1.00

00:22:48.080 Wow.

00:22:48.360 And it went viral.

00:22:49.320 But I mean, she really sent it.

00:22:50.480 Like, this girl just took an accidental selfie.

00:22:52.420 That could have.

00:22:53.260 No, no.

00:22:53.840 It wasn't accidental, bro.

00:22:54.820 I mean, you were expecting to take your word over this beautiful, sweet Russian that you

00:22:58.540 found? 0.63

00:22:58.820 She was sweet.

00:22:59.220 Is this your fault?

00:23:01.000 Yes.

00:23:02.040 Mine?

00:23:02.880 I'll answer for him, yes.

00:23:04.820 Why?

00:23:06.040 Why?

00:23:06.600 I mean, you got yourself in that situation.

00:23:09.820 What's the situation, bro?

00:23:11.700 I'm a human being connected to another human being, quite literally.

00:23:16.080 I mean, all right.

00:23:16.560 Post-coitus.

00:23:17.500 Post-coitus.

00:23:18.660 I'm surprised you didn't know what that word meant.

00:23:20.320 It's one of the words I just did.

00:23:21.680 It seems French.

00:23:22.480 You know what?

00:23:22.960 You used a word in Sweden, actually.

00:23:25.020 You said, my only goal in life at all times is quick egress.

00:23:28.480 Egress.

00:23:29.060 I like egress.

00:23:30.540 Do you know what that word means?

00:23:31.540 No, I have no idea what that word means.

00:23:31.900 To exit.

00:23:32.440 It means the ability to find an exit.

00:23:33.960 To leave.

00:23:34.200 I always know where all exits are.

00:23:37.260 It's a military training for a non-militant.

00:23:39.340 I've never been trained to do anything except for nap. 0.99

00:23:41.900 And as you guys know, masturbate. 0.99

00:23:43.180 And drink copious amounts of alcohol. 1.00

00:23:45.200 And find the exit. 0.91

00:23:46.100 And find the exit.

00:23:47.020 Yes, that's the fourth egress.

00:23:48.180 Quick egress.

00:23:48.620 Immediate egress.

00:23:49.700 And so he insisted that he sit on the end of the table.

00:23:53.220 Him and Milton went back and forth.

00:23:54.480 And you had your anxiety and you had your fan and you were sweating.

00:23:57.660 I had all of it.

00:23:58.100 I'll get it.

00:23:58.580 No, no, it's fine.

00:23:58.980 It's just a bead.

00:23:59.440 I don't think anyone back home could see it.

00:24:01.640 They wouldn't even have noticed unless you started talking about it. 0.99

00:24:03.380 But now, look, I've got a bead of sweat on my forehead because there's 450 fucking people in here. 0.99

00:24:06.900 It's hot. 0.99

00:24:08.580 Do you think you're ever going to take a break from the ladies?

00:24:11.780 Just for a little bit so maybe you can find the one.

00:24:14.060 I thought about this because you did that, right?

00:24:16.580 I did.

00:24:17.100 You went on a two-year bender.

00:24:18.840 A two-year bender.

00:24:19.220 No, no, no.

00:24:20.020 Opposite.

00:24:20.340 A bender of abstinence.

00:24:22.540 Abstinence. 0.97

00:24:22.840 An abstinence bender.

00:24:23.900 I went so crazy doing nothing.

00:24:26.020 Hey, do y'all remember that episode where we were like, 0.96

00:24:27.880 I asked you if you ever masturbated

00:24:29.900 And you were like a couple times 0.99

00:24:31.040 And then you said you cried after you masturbated 0.93

00:24:33.380 Why did I do this 0.94

00:24:34.660 I never actually cried 0.98

00:24:38.360 I don't always think about you masturbating 0.99

00:24:39.800 But I do think of you crying after you masturbated 0.99

00:24:41.780 I don't know why 0.99

00:24:42.640 It seems like something you would do

00:24:44.480 Or even after sex

00:24:45.720 I would expect you and Angel 0.99

00:24:48.280 After you're done you're just like this

00:24:49.640 It was so beautiful

00:24:51.180 And just like small tears exit your eye

00:24:54.700 Angel I'm so sorry

00:24:56.340 You guys are just in this lengthy embrace afterwards.

00:25:01.700 We just create art.

00:25:03.100 Bro, admit your Little Spoon.

00:25:05.660 Just admit it.

00:25:07.460 5% of the time.

00:25:08.680 Okay.

00:25:10.160 Last night, for example, Angel says.

00:25:12.360 Yeah, I did.

00:25:12.980 Yo, by the way.

00:25:14.500 Little Spoon's underrated.

00:25:15.980 It is.

00:25:16.700 It's a phenomenal position to be in.

00:25:18.220 Let's be honest.

00:25:19.000 Is Angel still on down to come on?

00:25:21.580 Like, yo, we talk about.

00:25:22.980 Please, no.

00:25:23.580 No, no, no. 0.70

00:25:24.020 Should we keep her in sanctity?

00:25:25.400 Because Angel's a pure soul, bro.

00:25:27.400 One of the purest.

00:25:28.380 Yeah.

00:25:28.680 And I feel so bad every time you walk in these doors of this house, Angel, because a little piece of your soul is just ripped from your heart.

00:25:34.580 And I can see that.

00:25:35.860 You cut your hair now.

00:25:38.460 I just feel like all that aside, maybe we bring her on. 0.96

00:25:40.820 Just for a hot sec.

00:25:42.520 Maybe.

00:25:43.260 But, yeah, man, I don't know.

00:25:44.440 All right.

00:25:44.780 I don't know.

00:25:45.240 I thought. 1.00

00:25:45.640 I'm just going to fuck myself. 1.00

00:25:48.120 What? 1.00

00:25:48.540 You thought about doing it?

00:25:49.300 I thought about it.

00:25:49.960 Yes, bro.

00:25:50.800 Because, like, I'm a bit.

00:25:53.180 I can get wild, bro. 0.97

00:25:54.960 Mike thinks I have a sex addiction 0.99

00:25:58.040 Do you think you do?

00:26:01.200 We almost got in a fight because of it

00:26:02.700 He told me, I mentioned it to him in front of

00:26:05.180 One of the 14 girls

00:26:07.900 It wasn't 14

00:26:09.220 Something like that in the two week span of

00:26:11.440 Just heinous amounts of intercourse in Sweden

00:26:14.260 And by number 12 to 14

00:26:16.620 Whatever one it was, I said

00:26:17.560 Logan, I'm quite worried about you as a human 0.99

00:26:20.180 I think you may have a sex addiction 0.98

00:26:21.260 Now, I did say it in front of said woman 0.99

00:26:23.340 Which was not the best idea

00:26:24.620 From a bro's standpoint

00:26:25.700 And he took me into this

00:26:27.280 I've had this talk with him before

00:26:28.880 It's like yo

00:26:29.300 Keep my like

00:26:30.480 Relationships separate

00:26:31.700 You know

00:26:32.520 Don't co-mingle everything

00:26:34.060 And we went into the

00:26:35.340 We went into the sauna room

00:26:38.040 And he told me the following

00:26:39.080 Hey man

00:26:39.540 I'm just letting you know

00:26:40.360 Nicely as a friend

00:26:41.160 If you say something like that

00:26:42.560 Again in front of a girl 1.00

00:26:43.320 I'm going to punch you 1.00

00:26:44.320 In the fucking face 1.00

00:26:44.880 No I said 1.00

00:26:45.180 I said knock you out

00:26:46.000 I made it clear

00:26:46.520 Whatever

00:26:46.820 How else are you gonna do

00:26:47.800 Besides what are you gonna do 1.00

00:26:48.760 Besides punch me in the armpit 0.99

00:26:50.780 No it's a kick 0.99

00:26:51.380 I put two and two together

00:26:52.760 There's a difference 0.91

00:26:53.740 If you punch someone in the face

00:26:54.800 There's a chance nothing happens 0.96

00:26:57.040 If you knock them out

00:26:58.160 Like you're

00:26:58.720 Yeah

00:26:59.240 You also could 0.99

00:27:00.320 Like kick them too 0.99

00:27:01.540 Which would 0.99

00:27:01.940 You couldn't really get pissed

00:27:03.300 If you woke up

00:27:04.040 But you got

00:27:04.520 You got mad at me because

00:27:05.740 Well I just

00:27:06.360 No I just said

00:27:06.920 Let's not do this

00:27:07.760 Like let's

00:27:08.160 No you said

00:27:08.860 You said

00:27:09.260 Don't threaten me

00:27:10.120 And I go

00:27:10.580 Or what Mike

00:27:11.700 And you know what my answer was

00:27:13.580 This is the

00:27:14.060 This is the most

00:27:14.920 Non-bro

00:27:15.900 Cause of course

00:27:16.680 My answer should have been like

00:27:17.760 Cause I'ma 1.00

00:27:18.480 I'ma fuck you up 1.00

00:27:19.380 If you do it 1.00

00:27:19.820 But you know what I said instead

00:27:20.880 Are you gonna

00:27:22.020 Wait a second.

00:27:23.560 I said, you're going to lose a friend.

00:27:27.040 Like, who says that? 0.97

00:27:28.340 What kind of Oscar award-winning loser says that? 0.92

00:27:30.980 You're going to lose a friend. 0.96

00:27:31.420 I said, because you're going to lose a friend. 1.00

00:27:33.160 Like, you lose a bitch, bro. 1.00

00:27:34.020 No, but also, like, we shouldn't be, like, bro, 1.00

00:27:36.020 if we got in enough physical altercations, I'm sure you'd dip.

00:27:39.100 Do you guys think you'll ever get in a fight?

00:27:41.720 We tried.

00:27:43.180 Here's the deal.

00:27:44.020 Here's the deal. 0.98

00:27:44.940 If he was my friend, we would have already scrapped day fucking one. 0.81

00:27:49.580 he's my friend my boss my co-host my room maker or whatever i have a non-licensed agreement to 0.62

00:27:58.820 live in his house it's also so like here's the deal what if we get in a fight which will obviously 0.98

00:28:04.960 result in me absolutely pouncing his ass and putting him in the ground i will have no job 0.97

00:28:10.100 no house no best friend that's not true and no all those bro that's not that's not true like 0.99

00:28:15.640 y'all know i'm stubborn so if y'all want to test me go for it and it's like give me a little test

00:28:21.640 and it by the way if you win you know what kind of street cred and respect for me you'd get here's

00:28:27.280 the here i'll put this out there here's here's the difference he is better trained fighter and more

00:28:33.780 powerful guaranteed those two things he's a big old brolic human with with true bro with true

00:28:39.940 boxing credentials here's what he doesn't have a history of severe street fighting i will not

00:28:47.680 stop i will use anything and my power to make sure i win the fight i've used my head i have

00:28:55.360 used chairs i have used bottles when was the last fight when was the last street fight i was in

00:28:59.960 probably been a minute huh yeah

00:29:01.540 mike told me he said and i whenever mike says anything funny i write it down he said i've

00:29:08.440 always wanted to get in a street fight well but with you because it'd be fun like striking vipers

00:29:12.320 the black mirror episode if anyone's seen the see you fighting you fighting logan would be like

00:29:18.140 trying to plug it like even though you're really good at n64 it's like trying to put a n64 game

00:29:23.220 into like a ps4 ah if you blow on it like this it could work damn i really miss that uh um i miss

00:29:31.400 that whole thing i don't know it's all good mike do you know someone made a website called hey big

00:29:35.940 mike hey big mike.com actually you didn't secure that well that domain that's what the entire

00:29:41.340 website's about actually if we can cut to the screen here oh wow hey i'm mike malikoff and

00:29:46.120 i didn't register my domain name even though i fantasize about being an influencer with three 0.79

00:29:50.300 dollar signs as scs damn and the top left pictures the top left picture like mike you 0.88

00:29:56.740 but good for you 0.97

00:30:02.060 you look sober

00:30:03.020 no they got merch too

00:30:06.640 $100

00:30:08.560 Riley.99

00:30:10.480 I didn't register my domain name

00:30:11.980 look at the price of the fourth one 0.96

00:30:13.560 I would do the fat one of the fat ones 0.69

00:30:18.660 one of the what 0.97

00:30:19.740 there's four shirts

00:30:20.440 you guys should buy them back home

00:30:22.540 no don't because they're not

00:30:24.360 we're not selling these

00:30:25.800 They're $910 a piece on the website, by the way.

00:30:29.320 By the way, I think I'm going to buy one.

00:30:30.940 If you all comment enough, I'll buy a Hey Big Mike t-shirt.

00:30:34.280 Why didn't you register your domain name?

00:30:36.060 I had LoganPaul.com.

00:30:36.940 Because why would you register HeyBigMike.com?

00:30:38.420 That's an amazing website.

00:30:40.840 Do you think they'll sell it?

00:30:42.420 Yeah.

00:30:43.720 $50 a merchant. 1.00

00:30:44.780 I'm going to rip you off.

00:30:45.380 Did you want to read that side part?

00:30:46.520 It was funny.

00:30:46.880 I'd never read it before.

00:30:47.800 I didn't.

00:30:48.620 And it's kind of hard to bring it back up, especially when we're live.

00:30:50.840 No, I can do it. 0.98

00:30:51.520 There was some pretty crazy shit on it. 0.99

00:30:52.520 Yo, speaking of fighting, I saw a video of Dana White. 0.99

00:30:55.680 Seems like the tides are turning in your favor.

00:30:57.660 Oh, he wants Logan bad, yeah.

00:30:59.160 Yeah, Dana.

00:30:59.800 I mean, who knows, bro?

00:31:01.460 He seems open.

00:31:02.440 Did you see that video?

00:31:03.360 I did. 0.99

00:31:04.040 He still is confident that I'll get my ass kicked if I go up against a UFC fighter. 0.99

00:31:09.080 But there's improvement. 0.99

00:31:10.720 He might be right.

00:31:11.820 I don't know.

00:31:12.340 We'll see.

00:31:13.420 Yeah?

00:31:13.780 We'll see.

00:31:14.220 Like, I might fight in the UFC one day.

00:31:15.580 I think that'd be incredible.

00:31:16.540 Do you think you'd fall off?

00:31:16.760 I think that would be awesome.

00:31:17.960 Yeah, for sure.

00:31:19.020 It depends who I'm fighting.

00:31:20.360 Do you still want CM Punk?

00:31:21.940 By the way, what's going on with the KSI fight?

00:31:23.600 I believe we are very close to securing a major bag.

00:31:28.880 Don't we have business partners in the room right now?

00:31:30.100 I think we do.

00:31:30.720 We're close to securing a bag.

00:31:32.280 Palo?

00:31:32.620 And a big bet.

00:31:33.720 Palo, what's the contract this week?

00:31:35.660 Contract this week.

00:31:36.460 A multi-million dollar bag is not always the easiest to secure.

00:31:39.260 That's true.

00:31:39.300 There's a lot of people involved in that.

00:31:40.620 That's true.

00:31:40.920 And last fight, we just relied solely on the YouTube sales.

00:31:44.260 There was no guarantee.

00:31:45.580 And this time, since we have a track record of quite literally being one of the biggest

00:31:50.840 Events in history

00:31:52.220 Of that year

00:31:52.940 I don't see why

00:31:54.940 We couldn't get

00:31:55.400 Like a

00:31:55.960 A real

00:31:56.820 Yeah yeah yeah

00:31:57.860 But I mean

00:31:58.720 You're getting pushed

00:31:59.420 Left and right

00:31:59.940 By the UK squad

00:32:00.880 Like they're

00:32:01.420 They're all over Twitter 1.00

00:32:02.780 They're talking shit dude 1.00

00:32:03.800 They 1.00

00:32:04.100 Man

00:32:05.180 I'm sorry

00:32:06.340 Brits are always chirping bro

00:32:08.080 Like y'all good bro

00:32:09.260 Hayden is that true?

00:32:10.100 Hayden is that true?

00:32:11.060 No bro

00:32:11.460 Yes you know how I know

00:32:12.200 That's true

00:32:12.440 Are you editing a vlog right now?

00:32:13.640 Can we zoom into Hayden

00:32:14.480 Our editor

00:32:15.040 Oh my hello

00:32:16.040 At Andy's bachelor party

00:32:18.700 No this is what I mean

00:32:19.300 At Andy's bachelor party

00:32:20.300 You were there, right?

00:32:21.160 Oh, no.

00:32:21.720 You were there?

00:32:22.160 Yeah, yeah, I was there.

00:32:22.960 Hayden fought an ex-NFL player.

00:32:25.660 Yeah.

00:32:26.620 And you were chirping, bro.

00:32:28.600 You were.

00:32:29.840 You were.

00:32:30.200 It would have been a fair fight.

00:32:31.460 It would have been a fair fight.

00:32:32.620 And what?

00:32:32.980 He made your nose bleed and broke a tooth.

00:32:34.940 I'm pretty sure he was literally fresh off the 49ers roster.

00:32:38.000 Yes, literally.

00:32:38.720 Didn't Hayden tell him to punch him in the face?

00:32:41.420 And he did, and he just broke his whole face off.

00:32:44.320 Yeah, man, that was brutal.

00:32:45.680 They go hard.

00:32:46.580 Yo, another quick thing.

00:32:47.540 I don't know why, but I feel like RiceGum is in the audience right now. 0.57

00:32:49.920 Is that rice gum in the freaking audience? 0.77

00:32:51.620 It is. 0.93

00:32:52.220 Looks good, dude.

00:32:53.360 All right.

00:32:54.180 We got a couple big stuff.

00:32:56.060 We got a pretty cloudy audience.

00:32:57.600 Do I see Katie Bale?

00:32:58.240 Do I see Danny Rocka?

00:32:59.600 Danny Rocka Rocka.

00:33:00.600 There we go.

00:33:01.480 Oh, let's go. 0.99

00:33:02.140 Yeah, bring on some of the slugs.

00:33:03.820 Hey, by the way, come on in.

00:33:05.020 Are y'all drinking?

00:33:06.400 I feel like, do we have bottles to pass out to people?

00:33:09.420 Wait, is the audience back home drinking too?

00:33:11.800 Hey, why don't you, hey, if you're watching back home, why don't you pick up a bottle

00:33:16.140 and if you're of age, of course.

00:33:17.460 21 plus, take a shot right now with us. 0.99

00:33:20.760 If you're under 21, have some Cheez-Its or some shit. 0.99

00:33:24.680 Cheez-Its, great choice. 0.99

00:33:25.720 Or a Pop-Tart.

00:33:26.240 You know what my favorite is?

00:33:27.700 No free brand deal here, but hi, how are you?

00:33:30.220 Hi.

00:33:30.420 Hi, Abby, Katie, good to see you.

00:33:31.960 Abby Rao, which is Ricegum's girlfriend.

00:33:34.520 Are you taking a shot for the first time?

00:33:35.680 Rayo, like the meatball shop, and Katie Bell, of course.

00:33:39.400 Abby Rao's Instagram got hacked today.

00:33:42.000 It actually did.

00:33:43.000 That was very tragic.

00:33:44.480 Oh, you're playing music.

00:33:44.940 I got it back, I got it back.

00:33:45.840 Oh, okay.

00:33:46.200 The hackers are getting smarter.

00:33:48.740 Don't give your information to anyone via email.

00:33:51.680 If you get a fake message from Facebook or something, don't do it.

00:33:55.040 I don't even know how they did it, honestly.

00:33:56.540 Really? I can tell you how.

00:33:57.680 I'm deep in the hacker. 0.91

00:33:58.640 I've been hacked six times, and it always sucks.

00:34:03.220 Did they steal any personal information?

00:34:05.160 Are any news going to come out?

00:34:06.880 Should we be prepared?

00:34:08.880 They've been coming out.

00:34:09.880 They've been talking to me for a while. 1.00

00:34:10.840 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:34:11.700 Do you want to know how the situation got fixed? 1.00

00:34:14.840 Rice got lost.

00:34:15.720 Yeah, he tweeted.

00:34:16.760 He said, yeah, Bryce, talking to the mic, by the way, Bryce hit them up.

00:34:21.580 He tweeted them for me.

00:34:22.860 And they were like, yo, in all honesty, we're actually just huge RiceGum fans.

00:34:26.660 Who is it?

00:34:28.500 Hey, Bryce, are you running the 400 meter in the Challenger games?

00:34:31.860 Is that happening?

00:34:33.260 He says he is.

00:34:34.840 He's pulling out. 0.97

00:34:35.480 That's going to be fucking crazy. 0.98

00:34:36.340 All right. 0.98

00:34:37.360 To the first shot of Impulsive, episode 100 live.

00:34:40.980 Appreciate you.

00:34:42.080 I don't have any.

00:34:44.300 I'm so sorry, mate.

00:34:45.180 Who chose the German rave music?

00:34:53.240 I think it was the Aliens.

00:34:54.680 I think it was the Aliens.

00:34:56.300 The Aliens, right?

00:34:57.680 All right, thanks, Ray.

00:34:58.680 Bye, y'all.

00:34:58.960 Thanks, guys.

00:35:01.180 Hey.

00:35:02.940 Why don't we pass around a bottle for the audience?

00:35:05.380 We're being a bit selfish.

00:35:06.720 What do we got?

00:35:13.000 Try telling me that again, but don't laugh.

00:35:15.180 Rhythmically

00:35:15.740 Everything I've whispered to him so far

00:35:22.620 He said we can't do

00:35:23.700 Because again we're live

00:35:25.180 That's why I asked him first

00:35:27.720 I'm excited to bring on our first guest

00:35:30.300 It's happening

00:35:31.640 I think we're really going to get nitty and gritty

00:35:34.020 With this one

00:35:35.100 I reached out to him a while ago

00:35:37.880 Is he not here?

00:35:41.900 Bro

00:35:42.380 Dylan

00:35:43.260 Your sign said

00:35:44.280 Theo is here

00:35:45.340 No in 15 1.00

00:35:46.400 Fuck 1.00

00:35:47.300 But you said when we started 1.00

00:35:48.820 He was pulling up any minute

00:35:49.820 645 though

00:35:50.960 You said Theo

00:35:52.760 Is here in 15

00:35:53.680 At 530

00:35:54.900 Is that him out there

00:35:56.820 Possibly

00:35:57.340 Who knows

00:35:57.880 I know this is actually good

00:35:59.100 Because I have some more stuff

00:36:00.100 I want to talk about

00:36:00.680 Like

00:36:00.900 Yeah what else is good

00:36:01.800 By the way

00:36:02.280 This is live

00:36:03.620 I think the audience back home

00:36:04.640 Is just chilling watching us

00:36:05.700 Like we're in no rush

00:36:06.620 I think you guys have some time

00:36:08.800 Out there right 1.00

00:36:09.360 To kill 0.96

00:36:10.060 Or not kill 0.99

00:36:11.120 because it's 2019, Killing's bad. 0.89

00:36:12.820 Killing was always bad.

00:36:13.660 Killing was always bad. 0.90

00:36:14.720 Okay.

00:36:16.500 What else we got?

00:36:19.460 Can we get kind of deep for a second?

00:36:21.860 I'm down for that.

00:36:23.120 Dylan's really down.

00:36:23.840 I don't know anything Dylan's not down for.

00:36:25.400 He's the most emphatic person I've ever met in my entire life.

00:36:27.220 Dylan loves everything.

00:36:28.500 You guys know about the golden rule?

00:36:30.380 You know the golden rule?

00:36:31.280 Yeah, what you give, you get.

00:36:32.720 Sort of.

00:36:33.140 It's actually treat others the way you want to be treated.

00:36:35.900 Which is the same thing.

00:36:37.020 Well, no, you grew up in Michigan, so we understand.

00:36:39.160 It's fine.

00:36:39.620 It's fine.

00:36:40.420 What you give, you get.

00:36:41.460 How you treat others is how they treat you.

00:36:43.100 No, it's not quite.

00:36:44.540 It seems a little weird.

00:36:45.360 If I give someone a gift, there's probably actually a slim chance I'll get that same gift back.

00:36:48.900 If I give someone a gift.

00:36:49.640 Merry Christmas, Mom.

00:36:50.560 I got you socks.

00:36:51.480 No way.

00:36:51.940 I got you socks, too.

00:36:53.160 Is that possible?

00:36:54.340 It doesn't happen.

00:36:54.800 Okay, what if you give her socks, it makes you happy, and then she gives you happiness? 0.99

00:36:58.460 Brother, what kind of weird shit are you talking about right now? 1.00

00:37:00.740 You're a vegan. 1.00

00:37:01.800 This is vegan stuff, isn't it, dude?

00:37:03.500 No, this is just.

00:37:04.160 I think it's communism.

00:37:05.680 I love you, Spencer.

00:37:07.240 Do you know how many people we have watching the show?

00:37:09.440 How many?

00:37:09.720 55k bro

00:37:10.640 55,000

00:37:11.940 And I bet when MGK performs later

00:37:13.700 It's gonna be 100k 0.99

00:37:14.780 Cause that shit's 0.99

00:37:15.460 Gonna be lit 1.00

00:37:16.280 It's true

00:37:16.820 And we have our first guest on

00:37:17.920 Theo Vaughn

00:37:18.840 It's gonna be

00:37:19.660 Okay so what are we saying

00:37:20.580 Or we're gonna get a lie detector test 0.99

00:37:21.840 Belly button pierce 1.00

00:37:22.580 Maybe

00:37:23.100 Ear pierce

00:37:23.800 Maybe

00:37:24.080 Nose pierce

00:37:24.460 Maybe

00:37:24.660 Maybe a tattoo

00:37:25.500 But here's what I was saying

00:37:26.280 The golden rule bro

00:37:27.100 Cause we were talking about this

00:37:28.280 We talked about it in Sweden

00:37:29.040 Yep

00:37:29.340 My

00:37:29.820 The way I give feedback

00:37:31.780 Often

00:37:32.320 And being like the leader

00:37:33.240 Of an organization

00:37:34.200 And an influencer

00:37:35.580 And whatever you wanna label me as

00:37:37.340 The way I give feedback

00:37:39.180 sometimes the way i treat people is is genuinely me treating them the way i would want to be

00:37:45.180 treated i i function best when people give it to me straight like dylan you're really good at this

00:37:51.060 david you're really good at this which is why i actually love having you on the team

00:37:55.060 it's like there is no uh buttering me up there's no sugar coating it's it's straight up feedback

00:38:02.640 in what could be perceived as a harsh way.

00:38:05.140 So often I give feedback in that manner.

00:38:08.160 And often it backfires because it hurts people's feelings.

00:38:12.120 It isn't the right way.

00:38:12.940 And I have a lot of people.

00:38:13.680 And you guys have probably both been on the receiving end of this actually.

00:38:16.280 I live on that receiving end.

00:38:17.940 I live there.

00:38:18.660 It's my home.

00:38:19.560 I literally have a street address on the receiving end of that feedback.

00:38:22.880 But I also feel like you're an outlier because I know you can handle it.

00:38:25.780 Of course.

00:38:25.880 But also from a part of you can't quite handle it, which is why I've been.

00:38:29.440 It's not that I can't.

00:38:31.080 We had a discussion about this in-sweetened at dinner at La Ventura, which is an amazing Italian restaurant.

00:38:35.960 Oh my God, I can't stop thinking about the spicy noodles.

00:38:37.780 And I told Logan, the way he delivers feedback is harsh, which is fine.

00:38:42.620 It's fine, but it's not the most efficient way to give feedback.

00:38:47.600 And I schooled him from a corporate marketing standpoint on how to give proper feedback.

00:38:51.280 This was incredible, actually.

00:38:52.760 Lead with some sort of approval and positive feedback.

00:38:57.500 I like where you're going with this.

00:38:59.660 then that i just it's it opens the the person up to the feedback okay like if a creative team

00:39:07.100 brings you a piece of work and they show it to you you start with something positive i like where

00:39:11.960 you're going with this and then you start to give critical feedback you never want to turn someone 0.99

00:39:16.220 off by saying like you sound like an asshole when you say that as soon as you say that it turns the 0.96

00:39:21.600 person off whether they're good at receiving i get that i get that i've i i i employ that strategy 0.99

00:39:26.460 the the one that threw me for a loop and i think like i'll take with me for the rest of my life

00:39:30.420 it's actually yeah it's a specific verbiage you used it's you know i like what you did there

00:39:36.520 and then me currently or as of like a week ago this is what i would have said if you like

00:39:40.340 if you spencer presented me with an edit of a picture that i didn't quite like and by the way

00:39:44.900 i'm i'm going to an extreme right now because often on picture edit something very simple it's

00:39:49.480 like hey can you change this right um if it's like the fifth edit i'll put this in context if

00:39:55.920 It's like the fifth edit of a documentary, and I've given the notes over and over and over again.

00:40:00.260 I like what you did there, but please, for the love of God, Spencer, this is the fifth time.

00:40:03.460 I don't fucking understand what I'm not being clear about.

00:40:06.240 Like, I kind of flipped. 0.98

00:40:06.940 Sometimes you got to give it a little more gas.

00:40:08.900 Exactly.

00:40:09.260 And the verbatim or the verbiage Mike used was, hey, Spencer, I like what you did there, but I see an opportunity for you to improve by cutting out the last 10 seconds of that.

00:40:19.500 So that is premium corporate speak.

00:40:23.820 There's never a problem.

00:40:25.100 there's always an opportunity so it's not i have a problem with what you're doing here it's where i 0.98

00:40:30.280 see an opportunity for you to do better now here's the deal as you both know i don't sugarcoat shit 0.91

00:40:36.780 either i don't give a fuck and that's why we get along honestly but some many many people do many 0.91

00:40:44.980 people do and so how you deliver feedback is very indicative of what the return will be on that 1.00

00:40:51.440 feedback if you tell someone hey you're an asshole we've went over this a thousand times and you 1.00

00:40:56.140 still can't get it right they're just gonna produce more shit because they're not incentivized 1.00

00:41:00.200 and they feel defeated and embattled and so if you're watching this i don't know how we got into 0.98

00:41:04.140 this business talk but if you're watching this just give good feedback hey here's the opportunity

00:41:08.760 to improve here's why this conversation is important actually it's probably gonna be the

00:41:11.700 most valuable thing thing we say today is like i'm 24 years old and i'm just now gonna apply

00:41:16.020 this in my life if you can get this at like 16 17 18 oh my god you're gonna have so much practice

00:41:20.180 by the time you're actually doing real business,

00:41:21.700 you're going to be a billionaire.

00:41:22.900 I'll say it right now.

00:41:23.480 You're going to be a billionaire.

00:41:24.700 But yeah, so lead with positive.

00:41:28.200 And I see an opportunity for you.

00:41:30.160 And by the way, for everyone working at Team Maverick,

00:41:32.540 I can't emphasize how often you're going to hear,

00:41:34.680 I see an opportunity for you to be better.

00:41:36.960 I'm a broken record.

00:41:38.140 Absolutely.

00:41:39.260 Okay, we got a thing.

00:41:40.320 We got a lot of fun things today.

00:41:41.400 One of them is Spencer agreed to get a tattoo.

00:41:44.320 Alive on the set of Impulsive for the 100th.

00:41:46.860 I can't believe this, bro.

00:41:48.460 You only have one tattoo, right?

00:41:50.180 Yeah, and you're going to get another one right now.

00:41:52.400 Wait, what do you have right now?

00:41:53.540 Like a plant or a bronchiosaurus or something?

00:41:55.260 It's actually dope.

00:41:55.720 It's actually really cool.

00:41:56.800 It's a Spartan on his left shoulder blade.

00:41:58.560 On my back, yeah.

00:41:59.520 You think that Spartan was vegan?

00:42:01.860 Yeah.

00:42:02.380 There's a chance.

00:42:03.480 Yeah, actually, did you know gladiators were vegan?

00:42:06.460 That's right.

00:42:06.920 All right, so here's the thing.

00:42:08.000 I'm going to throw this out there.

00:42:09.120 It was very common, though, for gladiators to be vegan.

00:42:11.080 I know we haven't hung out lately that much, but when you lie to me, can you try not to?

00:42:15.140 It would be great.

00:42:15.700 That's also true.

00:42:16.120 Okay, you're talking about a gladiator who fights a goddang lion.

00:42:18.980 Yeah. 1.00

00:42:19.140 And you're telling me he's a fucking omnivore, a herbivore? 1.00

00:42:22.820 Herbivore, bro. 1.00

00:42:23.860 It does seem a bit far-fetched.

00:42:26.420 What do we got?

00:42:27.400 Hey, this is Daniel Silva, correct?

00:42:29.980 You want someone to leave me on the number one podcast?

00:42:32.000 It is the number one podcast in the world.

00:42:33.360 I have no motivation or reason to lie.

00:42:35.220 It's scientific.

00:42:37.040 Hey, really quick, before you do that, who's your favorite host on the show?

00:42:39.520 Oh, that's true.

00:42:41.740 Spencer.

00:42:42.400 Easy.

00:42:43.060 I was not expecting you.

00:42:44.060 I kind of was.

00:42:44.920 I was.

00:42:45.300 He's sitting right next to him.

00:42:46.080 That's good.

00:42:46.860 Since he's tattooing me, I feel confident.

00:42:48.200 Are you a vegan?

00:42:48.900 Is that why?

00:42:49.540 I'm not.

00:42:49.960 It's fine.

00:42:50.800 It's cool.

00:42:51.780 So should we show the tattoo you're getting?

00:42:54.100 Do you want to explain it actually?

00:42:55.800 Okay, it says vibe, but with a Y, it's crazy.

00:42:58.300 Yep.

00:42:58.540 Stands for visualize yourself better every day.

00:43:00.360 Woo!

00:43:01.120 Yep.

00:43:01.780 That was close, Vince.

00:43:02.760 What do we got?

00:43:02.860 He chose the spelling.

00:43:04.500 Is that why?

00:43:05.140 He chose the spelling.

00:43:05.980 Why do you say that?

00:43:06.520 Do you not think it's good?

00:43:07.620 No, it's spelled wrong, right?

00:43:09.160 Oh, oh.

00:43:10.400 No, no, no, no, no.

00:43:11.580 That's what I'm saying.

00:43:12.100 It's an acronym.

00:43:13.540 Yeah, it stands for visualize yourself better every day.

00:43:15.420 So it's the right spelling.

00:43:17.080 We're good.

00:43:17.620 We're good.

00:43:19.800 You've gotten one tattoo.

00:43:20.700 I have, bro, but I haven't gotten a tattoo in a while.

00:43:23.460 I do have a tattoo.

00:43:24.940 Here, should I show my tattoo real quick?

00:43:26.740 Let's see it.

00:43:27.840 I don't regret it, but I feel like I should.

00:43:32.060 The worst.

00:43:33.720 As a tattoo artist, what do you think about that?

00:43:37.020 What are you talking about, bro?

00:43:37.920 There's a lot that I think about that. 1.00

00:43:39.340 It's a squirtle next to my penis. What's the problem? 1.00

00:43:41.060 The coolest Pokemon there is.

00:43:42.360 And he's got sunglasses.

00:43:44.420 Exactly.

00:43:44.880 It's why the day that he walked into the screen, we were all like, dude, that is the best

00:43:48.840 Pokemon ever.

00:43:49.980 Placement, questionable.

00:43:51.240 Placement, questionable.

00:43:52.100 I won't argue that.

00:43:53.200 You're right.

00:43:53.940 All right, so Spencer, good luck.

00:43:55.120 If it hurts.

00:43:55.580 Thank you.

00:43:55.980 Just stay quiet because you ruin our audio, please.

00:43:58.220 Okay, I'll try.

00:43:59.460 I'll do my best.

00:43:59.920 What are we supposed to do while Spencer gets that tattoo? 1.00

00:44:02.000 We're just going to chit-chat about shit? 1.00

00:44:03.140 We can do it live. 0.99

00:44:03.540 Oh, EP100.

00:44:04.480 How can we be better?

00:44:05.540 Maybe we answer some bad questions.

00:44:06.400 I'm just, by the way, do you mind that I read whatever the sign says?

00:44:10.020 Do you think it's, I think it's kind of funny.

00:44:11.240 Some reason might be a smoother way to do it.

00:44:12.960 It's kind of funny, dude.

00:44:15.080 Yeah, where do we have an opportunity to do better, guys?

00:44:17.840 Like, how can we better service your needs?

00:44:21.940 Does that sound all right?

00:44:24.000 Okay, I got a tweet.

00:44:25.420 I'm sorry, guys.

00:44:27.600 I hate to do this. 0.98

00:44:29.180 An impulsive episode is not an impulsive episode without a dick's talk.

00:44:32.980 Thank you guys for all your work on Impulsive. 0.99

00:44:35.120 The podcast is fucking special for me.

00:44:36.640 Christian, thank you, dude. 0.98

00:44:37.000 Christian, appreciate you, brother. 0.99

00:44:38.460 Do we want to dive into the dick stand? 0.99

00:44:40.000 Yeah, of course. 0.99

00:44:40.460 What do we got?

00:44:41.700 I think so. 1.00

00:44:42.120 The dick stand is when we get caught in conversations about genitals, mainly cock. 0.99

00:44:47.500 What's been going on dick-wise? 0.99

00:44:49.500 Why are you intentionally diving in? 0.98

00:44:52.000 Well, Christian.

00:44:52.720 We've got to answer the fans.

00:44:54.140 Oh, my bad.

00:44:54.740 We don't have to.

00:44:55.960 Is there anything crazy going on?

00:44:58.680 Let me ask you a personal question.

00:45:01.140 You don't have to, Spencer, but I do this sometimes.

00:45:03.720 Do you ever do the helicopter, bro, in front of your girl?

00:45:07.600 Okay.

00:45:09.140 Yeah.

00:45:09.460 I don't really do

00:45:11.800 the helicopter

00:45:12.340 do I

00:45:13.200 no it's more of like

00:45:14.460 the side to side

00:45:15.740 the side to side

00:45:16.200 that one's fun

00:45:16.960 but it's easier

00:45:17.940 that's a cop out

00:45:18.800 yeah yeah yeah

00:45:19.460 can you do the helicopter

00:45:20.440 of course

00:45:20.860 are you sure

00:45:21.460 of course

00:45:21.880 it's harder

00:45:22.460 it's like hula hooping 1.00

00:45:23.360 your penis 1.00

00:45:23.780 yeah but 1.00

00:45:24.560 yeah no I can

00:45:25.600 easy

00:45:26.100 side to side

00:45:27.280 is definitely much easier

00:45:28.320 and like that's the

00:45:29.360 that's the simple go to

00:45:30.380 but often

00:45:31.980 man I'm gonna be honest

00:45:32.960 I find myself

00:45:34.380 doing the helicopter

00:45:35.200 that's George Janko's

00:45:36.440 favorite movie

00:45:36.900 because well George

00:45:37.760 George has got a

00:45:38.520 quite a girthy

00:45:39.240 peen and when he does it he he takes off he flies dude yeah he can get air the first time 0.99

00:45:45.420 i actually the first time i saw george janko's penis was when i met you mike really how did i 0.97

00:45:52.140 remember when we were oh we were at park city park city yeah and george ran up i was with you 0.98

00:45:58.960 logan we were talking in the kitchen and george ran up the stairs and says i have king kong dong

00:46:05.580 And hopped up on the table

00:46:07.620 Oh my god

00:46:08.960 He goes I have king kong dong

00:46:10.900 And he's pounding his chest

00:46:12.660 But he does

00:46:13.980 I didn't want to see it

00:46:16.340 Unfortunately I did 0.99

00:46:17.460 Normally a dude that talks about his penis that much 0.99

00:46:21.280 Is like they ain't actually got anything to work with 0.98

00:46:23.320 It's true

00:46:23.700 We were talking about accidental boners

00:46:26.120 Recently didn't we have a conversation about that

00:46:28.600 My problem is on flights

00:46:29.780 Why am I always hard

00:46:32.100 Is it an altitude thing

00:46:34.000 I think it's an air pressure thing

00:46:35.980 An air pressure

00:46:36.620 Like the air pressure

00:46:37.520 In the plane

00:46:37.920 You're a little light headed 0.96

00:46:38.520 And you get horny 0.98

00:46:39.300 The worst part is when you 0.96

00:46:40.540 You get the erection 0.92

00:46:41.900 Like right when you land too 0.98

00:46:43.420 Oh that's bad

00:46:44.580 Cause then you gotta go

00:46:45.360 Get your bag

00:46:46.020 It gets worse

00:46:46.720 And this has happened to me

00:46:47.660 Twice now

00:46:48.400 I'm sleeping bro

00:46:50.340 I'm not gonna lie

00:46:50.840 I get first class

00:46:51.580 Business class

00:46:52.180 I lay down flat

00:46:52.960 Okay

00:46:53.300 And sometimes I end up

00:46:54.460 On my back

00:46:54.880 I can't fall asleep

00:46:55.580 On my back

00:46:56.000 But I end up there

00:46:56.680 And I wake up

00:46:58.660 Fully erect

00:47:00.280 Fully erect

00:47:02.060 Like

00:47:02.480 Fully erect

00:47:03.500 Tent pitch?

00:47:04.000 Tent pitch.

00:47:05.680 And I can't help but think how many people saw this.

00:47:08.700 Yeah.

00:47:09.340 And people have taken pictures of me.

00:47:12.700 No.

00:47:13.300 No, because it's kind of like angled.

00:47:15.560 It's a micropiece.

00:47:16.560 Also, another thing is, don't you always, when that happens, don't you always have those

00:47:20.020 like, those thoughts about like the really, like that really hot flight stewardess that

00:47:24.660 just walks out of the bathroom like hair.

00:47:26.020 They're all hot.

00:47:26.960 Bro, they're all hot.

00:47:27.920 Even if they're not, they're hot.

00:47:28.940 Why are flight, we've said this before. 0.98

00:47:30.720 Why are flight attendants 1.00

00:47:32.140 Always seemingly hot

00:47:33.840 Yeah you know

00:47:34.360 They're so friendly

00:47:35.080 And they smile at you

00:47:35.840 And ask you exactly

00:47:37.040 What you want

00:47:37.640 Yeah you really

00:47:38.080 You really

00:47:38.460 You chopped in there

00:47:39.280 Before I was able to say

00:47:40.080 What I was going to say

00:47:40.500 Go ahead and say it

00:47:41.140 No no no it's fine

00:47:41.920 Sorry

00:47:42.280 But it's your show

00:47:43.440 It's not bro

00:47:44.420 It's our show

00:47:45.080 But let's be honest

00:47:46.200 90

00:47:46.560 At this point

00:47:48.140 100% of it still is

00:47:49.240 Until you sign that contract

00:47:50.100 With me

00:47:50.380 But

00:47:50.500 Is there actually

00:47:53.260 A contract on the table

00:47:54.180 For this

00:47:54.460 There's nothing 0.99

00:47:54.780 There's fucking nothing 0.99

00:47:55.540 He's been trying 0.98

00:47:56.500 Okay

00:47:56.820 I've been trying

00:47:57.580 How's the tattoo

00:47:58.500 You greasy

00:47:59.220 How's the tattoo 1.00

00:48:00.280 Are you a greasy, dirty man? 1.00

00:48:01.260 Nah, not quite. 1.00

00:48:01.980 Not quite.

00:48:02.500 Not quite.

00:48:03.380 He's a businessman.

00:48:04.340 I'm a businessman.

00:48:04.780 Let's be honest.

00:48:05.260 And by the way, Spencer, I'm going to be honest, I shut him down.

00:48:08.200 But he's asking, you know?

00:48:09.380 Okay.

00:48:10.060 So, anyway.

00:48:10.720 How's the tattoo feel?

00:48:11.780 It's good right now.

00:48:12.800 It's looking great.

00:48:13.640 How's the pain?

00:48:14.100 Harder or no?

00:48:15.000 I mean, dude, do your thing.

00:48:16.320 I'll dig it in, then.

00:48:17.380 All right, quick.

00:48:17.880 Dig it in, brother.

00:48:18.640 Quick note.

00:48:19.140 Dig it in.

00:48:19.860 What do we got?

00:48:20.520 Quick note.

00:48:20.900 I have a feeling, and tell me if I'm wrong, that you get some smoking, like, IG thought

00:48:28.120 type stewardess

00:48:29.420 up there in first class

00:48:30.360 because you know

00:48:31.180 who I got back in economy 1.00

00:48:32.300 because your cheap ass 1.00

00:48:33.660 puts me in economy 1.00

00:48:34.420 on every fucking flight 1.00

00:48:35.340 I take 1.00

00:48:35.720 I get Old Miss Winters 0.99

00:48:37.440 dude 1.00

00:48:37.760 okay and she comes up 1.00

00:48:38.960 to me and she's like 0.99

00:48:39.400 you want any more peanuts 0.70

00:48:40.360 that's what I get

00:48:41.860 dude alright

00:48:42.340 so my accidental 1.00

00:48:43.300 she always is yelling 1.00

00:48:44.680 too 1.00

00:48:44.920 yelling

00:48:45.180 so you know how

00:48:46.040 my accidental boner feels 1.00

00:48:47.220 when she comes over 0.96

00:48:48.000 it goes the opposite direction

00:48:49.760 from midnight

00:48:50.580 right back to 6 o'clock

00:48:51.340 it's a comfort thing

00:48:52.660 for me dude

00:48:53.100 I think when I'm comfortable

00:48:54.100 I get erect

00:48:55.040 well 0.82

00:48:55.880 alright

00:48:57.260 fair enough 0.98

00:48:58.100 Here we are in the dick stand. 0.99

00:48:59.140 I feel like that was solid. 1.00

00:49:00.800 Holy shit, it's a god dang fucking legend. 0.99

00:49:03.380 I think we bring our guest on right now. 1.00

00:49:04.920 He's literally walking in right now.

00:49:06.220 Ladies and gentlemen, this man is a legend.

00:49:07.740 He's a podcast god.

00:49:08.720 He could be the funniest man on planet Earth.

00:49:11.100 It's Theo Vaughn, ladies and gentlemen.

00:49:14.800 Let's go.

00:49:16.080 Good to see you.

00:49:16.660 Good to see you, buddy.

00:49:17.500 Good to see you.

00:49:18.460 Good season.

00:49:19.880 We're back at it.

00:49:21.580 Right on.

00:49:22.220 How are you, bro?

00:49:23.160 Come on, man.

00:49:23.620 Pretty swell, man.

00:49:24.140 How are you guys doing?

00:49:25.280 Phenomenal.

00:49:25.600 Better now, dude.

00:49:26.860 And this is your home?

00:49:27.660 This is your home, huh?

00:49:28.480 Yeah, bro.

00:49:29.120 And I feel sort of weird because they just escorted you through the front and straight to the garage.

00:49:34.700 Yeah, they brought me in through the front.

00:49:36.820 It's a big home, man, and you're kind of just being, right now, just thrown into the mix.

00:49:41.340 We have a lot of people.

00:49:42.080 We're live also, just so you know.

00:49:43.580 Yeah, congratulations.

00:49:44.320 I will say that.

00:49:45.020 Thank you, bro.

00:49:45.460 Yeah, man.

00:49:45.780 It's really awesome.

00:49:46.720 Congratulations.

00:49:47.740 Yeah, I'm happy to be here today.

00:49:50.980 What else, dude?

00:49:51.820 That's all you could say.

00:49:52.660 I mean, I could probably say something else after you that.

00:49:54.900 You got your Starbucks, too.

00:49:56.160 What would you say after you said that?

00:49:57.580 I'm feeling good.

00:49:58.600 I was going to say, I reached out for you to be on the show a while ago, bro.

00:50:02.120 And what about the 100th episode made you want to come on?

00:50:05.400 I just heard about it and I felt like it was going to be an exciting time.

00:50:08.700 I mean, I hope so.

00:50:09.360 And I was like, I heard there was going to be a lot of white people here.

00:50:14.320 No, we got some diversity.

00:50:16.220 We have one non-white person.

00:50:17.660 We got RiceGum.

00:50:18.620 We got RiceGum.

00:50:20.240 Danny's from Australia.

00:50:21.680 Oh, yeah, that doesn't count. 0.51

00:50:24.320 Look, man, I'm racist.

00:50:25.480 I would know, bro. 0.94

00:50:26.140 I know when there's a lot of white people around.

00:50:27.820 You can't say that with a lie.

00:50:29.280 No, he can say it.

00:50:30.220 We can't say it.

00:50:30.980 That's right.

00:50:31.700 And I'm not really, dude. 0.99

00:50:32.800 He can't say where the fuck he wants. 0.98

00:50:33.600 You know? 0.99

00:50:34.540 But where did you grow up?

00:50:36.120 I grew up in Louisiana.

00:50:37.000 To be honest with me, are there a lot of racist people in Louisiana?

00:50:39.400 No.

00:50:39.720 I think, honestly, there's probably like 10 left, dude.

00:50:42.060 I mean, people think there's so many.

00:50:43.720 There's so few.

00:50:44.700 It's unbelievable.

00:50:45.220 You think about 10 is the number?

00:50:46.740 Yeah.

00:50:47.100 How about Mississippi?

00:50:49.700 I don't know, dude.

00:50:50.740 Who's even heard from Mississippi?

00:50:52.520 Who still isn't still there?

00:50:53.980 Yeah, I think.

00:50:54.720 I say give it to Palestine, bro.

00:50:57.940 Let those people have a comfortable place.

00:50:59.940 What do I know?

00:51:01.140 I think it's a great idea.

00:51:02.720 What do I know, he said.

00:51:04.760 I'll be honest with you.

00:51:06.140 You know a lot, dude.

00:51:07.100 You do know a lot.

00:51:07.940 You can put those on.

00:51:09.080 Sound comes from our voices.

00:51:10.600 Where did you get all the knowledge you have?

00:51:13.460 Yeah, because you whip out the most random things.

00:51:15.360 I told you I wanted to say that.

00:51:17.180 Go ahead.

00:51:17.740 I told you.

00:51:18.460 Just do it now.

00:51:19.860 I've been called the king of randomness. 0.98

00:51:22.800 okay i talk about bell towers like i'll throw out some shit right now bell towers uh wolverines 1.00

00:51:28.980 pickled uh amish women like i could just go with a random shit canoes i want to bring girls in 0.99

00:51:34.560 i am just a little tiny little pawn walnut bitch compared to your level of randomness 1.00

00:51:41.160 where do you pull these fucking things that come out of your your mouth bro yeah i don't know man 1.00

00:51:46.800 you know i like words i've always liked words since you know i guess pretty much since i learned 0.99

00:51:51.360 them and what else i don't know you have a favorite word i think if i have a favorite word

00:51:56.960 i probably haven't heard it yet you know what about egress uh you know the word egress yeah

00:52:01.760 yeah i didn't i didn't that's a landowner term i think yeah that's close well i'll actually give

00:52:06.580 it to him okay that's right yep but yeah man what's going on not much dude i think um yeah

00:52:12.940 i don't know i like words man i like you know i know you guys got uh mgk here today so that's

00:52:17.320 pretty. Be straightforward

00:52:19.540 with this. Is that why you're fucking here? 0.99

00:52:20.900 Is that why you can't? Oh, no. You gotta 1.00

00:52:23.240 be shitting me. No. I mean, it helped. 1.00

00:52:25.900 Right.

00:52:27.240 Hey, thank you, Colson. Love you, brother.

00:52:29.340 You came here to see MGK and represent

00:52:31.160 Hartel. Not Andy from Fyre Fest?

00:52:33.100 No, no, no. Andy from Fyre Fest, no, dude.

00:52:35.540 What? I'm not letting that dude blow me,

00:52:37.340 dude. I'm out.

00:52:39.120 I like the fact that he's willing to drive across town to

00:52:41.220 blow somebody to help out a struggling business

00:52:43.380 venture. Would you ever do that? You know, that's kind of old school.

00:52:45.440 Would you ever do that for somebody? No.

00:52:47.320 Not even Joe Rogan.

00:52:48.300 I think if something happened to me and I was in an accident and I couldn't feel my body from the neck up, then I would maybe blow somebody if something – maybe if a kid was going to die or something.

00:53:02.520 We've given this ultimatum before.

00:53:05.000 So you're unable to feel your body from the neck up.

00:53:07.700 So is this more of like an insertion from the other – like you're not really doing much at that point.

00:53:12.120 Well, who knows, man, you know?

00:53:13.600 I don't.

00:53:14.500 I don't.

00:53:14.740 Who are we to judge, bro?

00:53:18.260 I'm not me.

00:53:19.080 I have no judgment.

00:53:20.420 But no, I'm excited.

00:53:21.420 I think Andy, he seemed, I mean, that guy really stole the show right there when he hit, you know, like suddenly like, oh, here's a guy with a little bit of solution in mind. 0.96

00:53:28.760 Because otherwise, they're out there just listening to that chubby white dude try to fucking, you know, pretend that everybody was going to live on one mattress. 0.95

00:53:36.860 With a cheese sandwich and a prayer. 0.98

00:53:39.140 We'll ask him this later because we're going to FaceTime him in.

00:53:41.900 But what do you think – why was he willing to go that hard for his job?

00:53:45.460 Which, by the way, probably wasn't, like, extremely high-paying.

00:53:47.600 No.

00:53:48.240 Oh, I think if you're willing to kind of – if you're willing to –

00:53:51.420 Is it a character thing?

00:53:53.800 I think he was probably kind of just lonesome.

00:53:58.180 That's usually the first thing I think of, too.

00:54:00.280 When I'm sitting at home, I'm watching Stranger Things.

00:54:02.260 I'm lonesome. 1.00

00:54:02.860 I'm like, damn, I wish I could suck a dick right now. 1.00

00:54:04.880 You never had that feeling before? 1.00

00:54:06.300 If you like sucking dick 1.00

00:54:07.780 When you're not watching 1.00

00:54:08.500 Stranger Things

00:54:09.120 Then I could see it

00:54:09.780 Crossing your mind

00:54:10.400 That's all

00:54:10.820 I don't

00:54:12.040 I don't know why

00:54:12.500 It's only when I watch

00:54:13.260 That particular program

00:54:14.180 I don't know what's good

00:54:15.720 I don't

00:54:16.280 Don't watch it bro 0.66

00:54:17.820 I don't think about sex 0.75

00:54:18.700 And watch children's

00:54:20.140 You know shows

00:54:20.840 At the same time dude

00:54:21.900 You took it to the place

00:54:22.720 I wasn't taking

00:54:23.200 No it's

00:54:23.760 He could do it again

00:54:24.720 Yeah it's fact

00:54:25.340 We can't

00:54:26.000 And we're live

00:54:26.960 I guess technically

00:54:28.700 I mean this

00:54:29.180 Potentially could just 1.00

00:54:30.580 Fuck us dude 1.00

00:54:31.380 Yeah 1.00

00:54:31.820 I don't know what else to say

00:54:32.460 No pressure

00:54:33.000 No nobody's trying to 1.00

00:54:34.280 Fuck themselves more than you guys 1.00

00:54:35.400 And you guys came to see 1.00

00:54:36.140 seem to keep making your way out of it so i'll fucking respect that hey that's so true that's

00:54:40.520 so true we do a good enough job of it ourselves yeah and it's awesome man i love that i i love

00:54:45.560 what you guys do i told i told the internet i was like if if i were to ever get canceled like

00:54:50.500 unfortunately for the haters like i feel like it already would have happened yeah you know

00:54:54.160 and and by the way theo i'm gonna be honest i'm a i used to be a controversial youtuber i'm a i'm 0.86

00:54:58.880 an ex-fucking-controversial youtuber i'm an ex-con-troversial youtuber wait a second do you

00:55:03.740 think he's made it out of that is this day here nah i think so bro it's episode 100 of impulsive 0.95

00:55:09.020 we're fucking live yeah i'm an ex-controversial youtuber i'm not controversial anymore bro i'm

00:55:14.140 clean cut thank you i'm gonna need to look i gotta look to manager jeff for the okay on this 0.98

00:55:20.080 please is he an ex-controversial youtuber okay he said yes and we can hook you up to the lie

00:55:26.460 detector for that and he's straight edge oh we got a lie detector coming actually later which is

00:55:30.520 gonna be kind of terrifying but when you walked in yeah did you see the alien standing in the

00:55:35.740 crowd i did see i saw somebody wearing green over there that's probably him oh yeah yeah oh he's uh

00:55:41.500 what do you think about that guy's hair no he he does look sweet he's russian he's russian would

00:55:47.160 you storm area 51 are you gonna do that no i wouldn't do anything like that man i'm more of

00:55:50.920 like an end i feel like right now i've been recently like kind of more like an indoors kind 0.50

00:55:54.160 of guy yeah so i'm not going out there with only people who don't know shit and just running towards 0.99

00:55:57.800 a fucking hot fence. 0.96

00:55:59.180 But have you ever thought of this? 1.00

00:56:01.180 They gotta have landmines.

00:56:02.500 Once you get there,

00:56:03.540 technically you're indoors.

00:56:04.980 Do you know what I'm saying?

00:56:05.500 If you get inside?

00:56:06.500 Yeah.

00:56:07.260 Like think about it.

00:56:08.100 They're gonna look like

00:56:09.400 beef jerky, bro.

00:56:10.520 I'm not going to look 0.99

00:56:11.400 at some beef jerky ass alien. 0.99

00:56:12.900 I'll wait. 0.99

00:56:13.380 If an alien wants to see me,

00:56:14.620 they can come and see me,

00:56:15.640 dude, in real time.

00:56:16.820 I'm not going to search

00:56:17.880 for their, you know, 0.99

00:56:18.660 some dead ass alien Muppets 0.99

00:56:20.320 that they hit out there, bro. 0.99

00:56:21.500 He's doing it.

00:56:22.520 He's dead Muppets.

00:56:23.760 Muppets. 0.99

00:56:24.040 I fucking love him. 1.00

00:56:24.840 That's stupid, dude. 1.00

00:56:25.820 Get a job, man. 1.00

00:56:26.860 That's what I'm saying.

00:56:27.800 okay you know 1.6 million unemployed no it's high now it's 2.5 million unemployed people 0.99

00:56:34.520 actually you know what man get a flag bro and storm that bastard dude just go for it 0.96

00:56:40.000 that's what i'm saying i think somebody's got to do it for the culture you know what i'm saying 0.92

00:56:43.420 like when you look back at like what did our generation do and there's just like this photo

00:56:47.400 of everybody storming area 51 people are getting picked off is it our generation what generation

00:56:52.260 is it is it the millennials it's not gen z they're too young no the millennials aren't doing that

00:56:55.820 much. They're not running somewhere. They're not running

00:56:57.680 anywhere, bro. I don't know.

00:56:59.400 I don't know. Who's storming for aliens? I don't know.

00:57:01.860 It's a good question. I think aliens,

00:57:04.000 I would like to see aliens fight people 0.95

00:57:05.780 though. 1.00

00:57:07.280 They'd whoop our ass, dude. 1.00

00:57:09.420 But I heard they were small. Bob Lazar said they're 1.00

00:57:11.760 small. But if you think about us,

00:57:14.020 say if we get into the future enough

00:57:15.580 and we have enough machinery or fancy stuff

00:57:17.900 like a computer

00:57:19.980 or something that can fly around,

00:57:22.100 then we're going to be lazy. As humans,

00:57:23.960 we're going to be lazy. It's going to be all

00:57:25.800 like computer stuff attached to us so we could still maybe beat them because we're like at least

00:57:30.800 still no like yeah we have motivation now yeah yes we don't have any motivation no they're just 0.99

00:57:35.580 cruising around yeah well drinking their own fucking skeet bro they just take a nap and wake 0.99

00:57:41.860 up four million light years away oh yeah man that's crazy that's nuts bob lazar said um their 0.99

00:57:48.940 their saucers fly uh vertical and not yeah what are your thoughts on that can you imagine building

00:57:54.240 an aerodynamic device

00:57:55.420 like the stealth fighter jet

00:57:57.300 and then telling someone

00:57:58.360 that it flies like this?

00:57:59.260 It flies differently.

00:58:00.800 They built it perfectly

00:58:01.640 so everything,

00:58:02.360 the wind flies perfect,

00:58:03.760 but then you launch it up

00:58:04.980 and against all science, 0.98

00:58:06.680 you just fly it fucking sideways. 0.96

00:58:08.380 What do you think about that? 0.99

00:58:09.480 You ever eaten a cheeseburger

00:58:10.720 upside down?

00:58:12.460 No.

00:58:13.200 I can't think about all that.

00:58:15.160 The cheeseburger or the alien?

00:58:16.440 Which part?

00:58:16.920 Well, I'm not thinking

00:58:17.400 about all of that, man.

00:58:18.280 That's crazy.

00:58:18.800 You're just going to skip all of it

00:58:20.080 because if you think about it,

00:58:21.400 don't think about it.

00:58:22.320 You know what I'm saying?

00:58:23.540 Well, here's the thing.

00:58:24.240 man you don't know dude you think i'm yeah like surely you have speculation i mean we have an

00:58:30.560 alien practically in our audience right now i by the way i fought that guy theo did you really 0.99

00:58:35.200 beat the shit i beat the shit out of him from being honest with you got balls though kid dude 0.98

00:58:39.160 you think you could beat tom cruise in a fight or not yes i'm gonna be honest yes how many rounds 1.00

00:58:43.140 would it take you be honest one one there's two things i've learned be a little more honest yeah

00:58:47.920 a little more honest there's two things i can't i cannot be more honest we have a lie detector

00:58:51.460 test coming ask me later but oh you think he beat tom cruise in one round yo age is such a big fact

00:58:58.740 like i am almost in my prime i'm young i'm spry i'm strong i'm quick bro my jab is lethal tom

00:59:05.940 cruise is a legend i will say but his age and by the way acting in any smoke cigarettes too

00:59:12.300 someone does he really he does smoke there's no chance mil what do you think i think he does

00:59:16.120 tom cruise you see me spar who are the who are the two old dudes that i sparred with

00:59:19.080 You're more potent.

00:59:20.540 I'm more potent.

00:59:22.040 I smell bad. 1.00

00:59:24.780 I've seen a lot of potent motherfuckers 1.00

00:59:26.780 taking L, dog. 1.00

00:59:27.920 I think Tom Cruise, bro.

00:59:31.500 Bro, Tom Cruise is an international celebrity

00:59:33.920 who's played in multiple high-action movies.

00:59:37.180 Dude, have you seen him fight off the ledge

00:59:39.200 dangling from a helicopter?

00:59:40.960 Bro, we're talking about movies.

00:59:42.540 No, this is real life.

00:59:43.780 He really did that.

00:59:44.760 By the way, quick note.

00:59:45.620 He's not going down without a fight.

00:59:46.980 Quick note, Tom Cruise

00:59:48.140 Does all his own stunts

00:59:49.540 All of his own stunts

00:59:50.800 Yeah

00:59:51.020 So when you see him

00:59:52.080 Beating up three trained

00:59:53.440 Russian

00:59:53.960 Or British

00:59:55.180 MI5 agents

00:59:56.220 Those aren't actors

00:59:57.460 Those are real

00:59:58.440 MI5 agents

00:59:59.300 I didn't

00:59:59.640 See I didn't know that

01:00:00.520 You see you need to use

01:00:01.740 I know

01:00:02.000 Not just your fists

01:00:02.920 But also your brains

01:00:03.900 Brains

01:00:04.240 Yeah

01:00:04.460 They shot that whole movie

01:00:05.440 Off GoPros

01:00:06.180 They did?

01:00:06.860 Yeah

01:00:07.100 Yeah

01:00:08.020 What movie was it?

01:00:08.940 Nothing

01:00:09.240 He's lying

01:00:09.640 It wasn't a movie

01:00:10.260 I think he's making a joke

01:00:11.180 It was real footage

01:00:12.180 Yeah I think you

01:00:13.300 I mean I think it would be

01:00:14.220 A good fight

01:00:14.680 I think it's a

01:00:15.200 I think it would be

01:00:16.820 I bet it would go

01:00:17.840 to a decision really yeah and i think you seem like a powerful guy but i think tom cruise man he

01:00:24.060 he's done a lot he's short though isn't he isn't yeah but so what dude that means his blood doesn't

01:00:28.940 have to go far from his heart that's true hey pho did you read the sign that my producer

01:00:32.540 yep andy's 15 minutes i bet andy's ready dude 0.98

01:00:36.740 oh bro i bet he's fucking got his lips on a treadmill right now i bet that dude 0.92

01:00:43.300 That dude definitely knows his way around 0.99

01:00:46.240 Some fucking pant meat, you know 1.00

01:00:47.900 Bro, where did you come from? 1.00

01:00:51.200 Huh?

01:00:51.720 Where did you come from?

01:00:52.340 What if, yo, why did you get

01:00:53.460 I came in through the garage 1.00

01:00:54.340 With your fucking boy 1.00

01:00:55.620 Talk about in general, bro 1.00

01:00:57.020 Where did, like

01:00:57.580 How are you this quick

01:00:58.900 Just stemming from Louisiana

01:01:00.200 Becoming a comedian?

01:01:02.060 Yeah, man, I don't know

01:01:03.180 A part of me feels like

01:01:04.200 I like words, man

01:01:04.980 I like words

01:01:05.600 That's why I like Machine Gun Kelly

01:01:07.400 You got the 0.99

01:01:07.840 I mean, that dude's fucking Lee Harvey Oswald, bro 0.99

01:01:10.400 You got the killer today 0.99

01:01:11.800 See what I said?

01:01:12.540 Yo, do you see what I said? 0.99

01:01:14.000 I ain't got shit on this thing, bro. 0.97

01:01:15.620 He's good, man. 0.98

01:01:16.220 Lee Harvey Oswald. 0.98

01:01:18.620 Yeah, he's going to shoot somebody, bro. 1.00

01:01:20.600 Oh, dude, if I go to jail with a couple of fucking, you know, some vowels hit me, bro, 1.00

01:01:26.180 if you're a boy, I'm good. 1.00

01:01:27.080 That's hard, that's hard.

01:01:28.260 I've been, I don't even want to manifest this because things I'm manifesting are coming

01:01:31.920 true, but like, it'd be tight to catch just one slug to the shoulder, just one, just right

01:01:36.780 quick, break your collarbone, that's all I need. 1.00

01:01:39.040 And you need a real rapper to do it. 1.00

01:01:40.320 I don't want one of these little, like, you know, like unknowns, like the SoundCloud motherfuckers. 0.98

01:01:44.260 Yeah, no, Jet Ski or something. 0.97

01:01:45.740 Yeah, a little Jet Ski or whatever.

01:01:47.400 By the way, you don't want it in the shoulder, bro.

01:01:50.280 You want it in the thigh. 0.99

01:01:52.120 I want to get shot by a real rapper, dude, a real black rapper, a real chocolatey guy. 1.00

01:01:57.100 Who would you, who would you, uh? 1.00

01:02:00.000 Bootsy, bro.

01:02:00.780 Bootsy?

01:02:01.220 No, Bootsy, man.

01:02:02.720 Bootsy is someone else, dude.

01:02:04.360 Bootsy Bellows, the club.

01:02:05.960 You bad?

01:02:06.580 Have you bad?

01:02:07.160 No, a little Bootsy, I think. 1.00

01:02:08.480 I want to get shot by somebody who definitely – he probably has bullets in him. 1.00

01:02:11.840 He could probably take a bullet out of him and put it in him. 1.00

01:02:13.440 Put it in a gun and shoot you. 1.00

01:02:14.580 Wouldn't that be cool? 1.00

01:02:15.320 That would be dope.

01:02:16.520 What are the chances we storm Area 51 and we find you or some of your relatives there?

01:02:20.840 Because I don't see you being that far off from a little slimy alien man.

01:02:24.960 No, man. 0.99

01:02:25.340 My sister won't even travel.

01:02:26.420 Her husband doesn't like to travel anywhere because he thinks he's kind of afraid of flying and everything,

01:02:30.800 so they wouldn't be out there.

01:02:31.860 Oh, and rightfully so.

01:02:33.220 I'm afraid of flying, but only because I get hard on the plane.

01:02:37.520 It actually has nothing to do with the Aaron article.

01:02:40.340 Yeah.

01:02:40.720 Well, I'll tell you then something that happened to me is this. 0.96

01:02:44.800 So I got an erection on a plane, right?

01:02:47.000 And this is probably, I don't know, maybe six and a half months ago or something. 0.60

01:02:51.920 And this lady, I was asleep, right? 0.58

01:02:54.100 And I get erection on a plane if I'm sleeping. 0.61

01:02:56.680 What did I tell you guys? 0.90

01:02:57.280 So I get erection, right? 0.94

01:02:58.820 I'm sleeping, enjoying my life. 0.89

01:03:01.160 This lady next to me had the flight attendant bring a blanket over to cover me up. 0.99

01:03:07.620 Your erection bothered her. 1.00

01:03:09.040 Woke me up out of a sleep and said, sir, your body. 0.99

01:03:11.640 That's what she started saying to me.

01:03:13.160 Wow. 0.70

01:03:14.620 Sir, your body.

01:03:16.500 Yeah, and I was like, what is it?

01:03:17.840 What about my body?

01:03:18.640 Yeah, I know.

01:03:19.120 It's great.

01:03:19.720 Do I have hives?

01:03:21.120 I know.

01:03:21.620 Yeah, I didn't know what.

01:03:22.900 I thought she maybe couldn't see my body or something.

01:03:24.920 Or she was like, where is it?

01:03:26.880 Does he have one?

01:03:28.060 Yeah.

01:03:28.240 Like, what?

01:03:29.040 Question.

01:03:29.520 That's what I was like.

01:03:30.140 I was going like this.

01:03:30.980 Oh, I got it.

01:03:31.800 It's right here, man.

01:03:32.680 Yeah. 0.97

01:03:32.920 Yeah, back off, lady. 1.00

01:03:34.140 What's the difference between a sweatpant boner and a blanket-covered sweatpant boner? 1.00

01:03:40.140 Doesn't it then just look like an erection with a blanket over it? 0.99

01:03:42.960 Well, I think it's still there. 0.96

01:03:44.420 I think once you put the blanket over it, it looks like maybe you're going to do magic.

01:03:49.000 Ah, yes.

01:03:49.920 But the part that got me was that her husband didn't say anything.

01:03:53.400 He just sat there like it was okay for his wife to say that, dude.

01:03:56.320 Oh.

01:03:57.240 We call them betas.

01:03:58.500 Yeah, betas.

01:03:59.080 From a bro code, he should have stuck up for you and said, no, my man's hard.

01:04:02.440 Let him be.

01:04:03.240 let him sleep first of all right yeah it gets worse uh and theo maybe you can give me some

01:04:08.960 advice mike and i talked about this in sweden like uh sorry i didn't mean to get all upset

01:04:12.080 about that stuff it still makes me mad though it boils my blood i get it i get it because

01:04:16.860 that happens to me sometimes do it almost every time when i'm getting a massage you know when

01:04:21.420 they make you get naked and massages oh i don't like it no because well bro sometimes they just

01:04:26.480 go too high on my inner thigh like no one should be touching that area i'm not even sure if my like

01:04:32.640 significant other should be touching that area have you ever been in a situation where that

01:04:36.560 happens and if so what do you do like i oh dude we used to have when i was growing up we had this

01:04:41.280 guy would hold his butt open from about 40 feet away and he'd give you like probably 15 to look

01:04:46.000 at it that's a lot of money back then but as an adult i haven't experienced you know like a lot 0.94

01:04:52.700 of the same stuff you're talking about i think here's what i'll say i'm sorry can you go back

01:04:56.960 to that for one second yeah i can go back to it but no no that's sick yeah it's no i that i i

01:05:02.580 think it's a sensitive part of his past i just i think it's sick i don't know what you want to 0.78

01:05:06.220 know did you ever collect the 15 dollars oh dude i fucking probably got 45 off the guy because i

01:05:11.380 wasn't saying like can we revisit conversationally i meant can you can you ever go no i mean would

01:05:16.060 you ever go back to it like go back and actually do it again if you need a quick 15 like you need

01:05:20.840 a quick 15 bucks yeah this before pornography and this guy owned a putt putt center he owned 0.98

01:05:26.400 like the local you know uh children's surprise me and he'd drop you at 15 and fucking go off i mean 0.96

01:05:31.740 i'll say this dude it wasn't it was more artistic than it was like dirty i felt like you know it's 0.86

01:05:37.640 not like he was touching you it wasn't it had kind of like a plus it's mutual yeah it's very mutual

01:05:43.620 that mona lisa smile kind of vibe you know what i'm saying did he care for his his ball he seemed

01:05:48.720 like a nice guy he cared for his business too the business was booming and also i was a child i

01:05:53.240 wasn't you know i wasn't asking the guy a bunch of questions dude do you remember what animals he

01:05:59.440 had that you had to hit the balls through on the putt putt course no they didn't have any of that

01:06:03.100 back then they had you said if you said triceratops i'd be concerned yeah like what like i would think 0.99

01:06:07.620 he'd have like some sort of fucking penguin or something like some weird sexual deviant animal 0.98

01:06:12.500 no they had concrete someone had spilled concrete on one of the things and then uh the rest of it 0.98

01:06:17.500 was just you know just kind of felt like green felt you know like top of a pool table like most

01:06:22.820 Most putt-putts probably have that.

01:06:24.160 Just without any of the obstacles.

01:06:25.080 I was like, what is that guy doing?

01:06:26.480 I thought he was asking you to marry him, and he was just taking a long time.

01:06:29.100 Oh, he's giving him a tattoo.

01:06:30.340 He's bad for a while.

01:06:31.260 He's failing the whole time.

01:06:32.460 I'm like, bro, get it out.

01:06:35.320 How done are you?

01:06:36.520 What's your percentage of completion?

01:06:38.240 It's almost done.

01:06:39.300 Huh?

01:06:39.760 One letter.

01:06:40.440 One letter left?

01:06:41.300 Okay, cool.

01:06:42.460 Hey, Theo, can I ask you a personal question?

01:06:45.020 Yeah.

01:06:45.940 What's your dating-like life?

01:06:48.040 Dating-like life?

01:06:48.940 Your like life?

01:06:49.440 Yeah, I'm not that good.

01:06:50.480 Dating-like life.

01:06:51.180 i knew i fucked it up i just ran with it yeah thank you guys it's like um it's pretty much

01:06:57.500 like mostly kind of dms and then some like dating you know like art of the dm have you mastered it 0.61

01:07:02.600 nothing real wild though like i'm not like i'm not driving real far to you know for sex or

01:07:07.980 anything like that like i'm more just kind of passive you know like some dates let me think

01:07:15.640 about what else like are you making are you making jokes on your date like no no no i don't joke

01:07:19.740 about anything like that my dating life kind of tastes to myself okay yeah what do i joke about

01:07:23.820 mostly i just tell stories from growing up you know right now and what else do i enjoy doing

01:07:27.500 um you know we got a great podcast right now this past weekend we just had a blind it's amazing

01:07:32.440 we just had a blind woman on today so really cool and um and yeah and that takes up a lot of my life

01:07:39.860 right now so what do you talk about with the blind woman just all kind of stuff man we talked about

01:07:43.860 like what it feels like to you know just like what like her big thing is sound you know since

01:07:49.040 you don't have sight sound is like kind of like your number two can i ask it i don't want to be

01:07:54.000 offensive here but how do they find the braille on the wall is that's a great question i wonder

01:07:58.560 that like they put the braille in the hotel yeah next to the door i've always i've always how do

01:08:03.100 they find their way to the they know where it is man is it like a a certain height probably like

01:08:07.440 a regulated yeah that's what i would guess that's a good question i wish you would have been there

01:08:11.220 because i was asking invite us it's okay just letting you know is it a guest-based podcast

01:08:16.600 Yes, it is a guest-based podcast.

01:08:18.740 Hey, I'll come.

01:08:19.340 Yeah, we wanted to have you and Chris DeLeon at the same time.

01:08:23.400 Got it.

01:08:25.000 But he said he had a movie to shoot or something.

01:08:27.500 Yo, he's a busy guy.

01:08:29.060 Yeah, he is a busy guy.

01:08:29.820 He's probably in Albuquerque.

01:08:30.900 He's often in Albuquerque, I feel like.

01:08:32.860 Yeah, he's on the news there all the time.

01:08:34.860 Always in Albuquerque.

01:08:36.300 But now he's shooting a movie there.

01:08:37.540 He has like a love-hate relationship with Albuquerque.

01:08:39.960 He should buy Albuquerque.

01:08:42.460 And just call it Albuquerque, I bet.

01:08:44.600 Is he part of your clique?

01:08:45.660 Is he part of your squad?

01:08:46.520 Because I know you run with Chris, Joe, and Brian Callen, right?

01:08:50.480 Yeah, and Brennan Shalve has been on here before.

01:08:52.420 Oh, dude, we love him, bro.

01:08:53.640 Yeah, he's so charming.

01:08:55.040 Yeah, he's a really charming guy.

01:08:56.240 Hey, we found out right when he got on.

01:08:58.220 Logan brought it up.

01:08:59.280 They have a mutual, they're Snow Bunny Eskimo Brothers.

01:09:03.440 Oh, really?

01:09:03.780 That's right.

01:09:04.480 Oh, yeah.

01:09:04.940 And this was a real serious girlfriend of his.

01:09:06.820 It was special.

01:09:07.520 It was special.

01:09:08.460 Yeah, it was cool.

01:09:08.980 It was cool.

01:09:09.920 It was a very, because it was a deeper level of just surface Eskimo Brothers.

01:09:15.420 There was, like, connection there.

01:09:17.440 You got any Eskimo brothers?

01:09:19.460 Oh, yeah.

01:09:20.200 Probably.

01:09:21.100 Imagine if he had none.

01:09:22.300 Question for you. 0.97

01:09:23.040 If you DM a girl, and she's like, you seem like a nice enough fella, you know how to 0.87

01:09:28.140 smith words pretty well.

01:09:29.300 You can be wordsmith-y.

01:09:30.440 It's hard, kind of, because it's like, what do you say?

01:09:32.280 You know, it's hard to, like, you know, do I say, like, do I try and be cool?

01:09:35.500 Do I try and be flirty?

01:09:36.420 You kind of feel like you have one shot.

01:09:37.820 I feel like that's how a lot of guys do.

01:09:39.060 You got a blue check, right?

01:09:40.260 Yeah.

01:09:40.460 You get two shots.

01:09:41.420 You think so?

01:09:42.040 Yeah, 100%.

01:09:42.700 You got a blue check, you get two shots.

01:09:44.180 Taking the first shot, getting no response, and then being the dude that takes another shot after that stuff.

01:09:49.560 You know what I found also?

01:09:49.980 That shot hits you halfway no matter what, bro.

01:09:52.000 You know what else I found about it?

01:09:53.520 If you take that first shot and she ignores it or whatever, a lot of times they creep back in.

01:10:01.020 Like, they'll hit you up like, sorry, I missed it. 0.99

01:10:02.660 Like, say you land a big movie or some shit. 0.89

01:10:05.240 Once you make some sort of big achievement in life, they come creeping back in. 0.97

01:10:08.620 Yeah, I don't want all of that.

01:10:09.780 And they say, I'm so sorry, I missed this. 0.99

01:10:11.620 You don't fuck with the clock chasers? 0.98

01:10:12.820 Yeah, I'm not really. 0.99

01:10:13.580 Yeah, I'm not in that kind of vibe. 1.00

01:10:15.980 I'm not going to listen to some lady 1.00

01:10:17.680 struggle in front of me over dinner. 1.00

01:10:20.540 I want a real... 0.76

01:10:21.880 I'm more of like, oh, this girl seems semi-decent.

01:10:24.740 So you're a romantic.

01:10:25.760 Do you get romantic and stuff?

01:10:26.880 I like romance a little bit, but I'm semi-decent and up. 0.99

01:10:29.800 I'm not out there just chasing some fucking titty bunny. 0.98

01:10:32.960 I'm not doing all of that. 1.00

01:10:34.120 You got a couple titty bunny chasers on you.

01:10:36.140 I was just going to say, I'm looking at two of them.

01:10:37.580 I'd rather come at the house and chill out.

01:10:39.640 I'm not, bro. I'm not a boob guy.

01:10:41.880 I made that clear.

01:10:42.760 I put a note out earlier on Twitter that said if you have booty calls coming, you should

01:10:47.520 at least pay for their Ubers.

01:10:48.740 Yeah.

01:10:49.100 What do you think?

01:10:49.960 I mean, is that fair?

01:10:51.060 Oh, yeah.

01:10:52.360 And get them a nice...

01:10:53.180 Yeah, I think if you have a date or something, you can get a nice Uber.

01:10:56.580 Yeah, bro.

01:10:57.960 I try not to let girls that I take on dates pay for anything.

01:11:02.980 Like, I'm adamant about it.

01:11:04.820 I actually don't often...

01:11:05.960 Yeah, dude, you should, man.

01:11:07.780 You know, you got a lot of money. 0.99

01:11:08.900 You got a fucking space shuttle out front. 1.00

01:11:11.820 You got a piggyback 0.99

01:11:13.260 They had a dude basically on his knees and hands

01:11:15.100 Just waiting for you to get on his back out there

01:11:16.720 He's full time

01:11:18.480 I know he is

01:11:19.240 Oh you're definitely good dude 0.95

01:11:20.480 I fucking filled up his water bowl for you as well 0.95

01:11:22.320 You have a lot of stuff out here man 0.99

01:11:25.520 Danny must have hired him

01:11:27.040 I miss that guy

01:11:29.420 Yeah he had tics on his back as well

01:11:31.480 We have an exact replica of Alex Tripp back out front too

01:11:36.160 Did you see that or no?

01:11:38.200 No I don't look at that kind of stuff

01:11:39.380 But in my hometown we have the tallest statue of Ronald

01:11:41.780 reagan in america really yeah how tall is it he's 10 feet tall it's a little over 10 feet so tall

01:11:46.880 is it life actual size like no he wasn't that tall no okay wait sorry it's actually him

01:11:52.400 no it's bronze damn it's bronze but is he inside of it no that'd be crazy what if he popped out

01:11:59.740 one day oh my fellow americans yo ron is ronald reagan not the most famous person in the south 0.90

01:12:05.440 No

01:12:06.400 Ronald Raisin

01:12:07.200 Ronald Raisin

01:12:08.560 Do you know

01:12:09.080 Ronald Raisin

01:12:09.840 If somebody makes

01:12:11.360 A replica of

01:12:12.260 Ronald Reagan

01:12:12.880 Out of Raisins dude

01:12:13.900 That person's

01:12:14.900 Going to heaven

01:12:15.360 Ronald Raisin

01:12:16.400 That's next level

01:12:16.860 They're going to heaven bro

01:12:18.020 But yeah

01:12:18.920 I came up with some

01:12:19.620 I came out here

01:12:20.180 With my buddy

01:12:20.700 A white guy right here

01:12:22.040 My friend Gianni

01:12:22.980 His brother

01:12:23.420 He's got a little brother

01:12:23.960 Named Meatball

01:12:24.840 And that's his

01:12:25.240 Biblical name

01:12:25.980 No stop

01:12:26.920 It's his government

01:12:27.540 Given

01:12:27.880 Yeah

01:12:28.220 Like on his license

01:12:29.160 No by the way

01:12:30.160 No last name

01:12:30.840 Or surname

01:12:31.280 Just straight Meatball

01:12:32.240 Yeah dude

01:12:33.100 I know

01:12:33.760 He's going to heaven too

01:12:34.680 He doesn't have a middle name.

01:12:35.940 And he's going to heaven, probably.

01:12:37.860 Andre?

01:12:38.980 Nah, he's vegan, bro.

01:12:40.080 He's vegan.

01:12:40.720 Oh, he's vegan?

01:12:41.240 Yeah.

01:12:42.520 His name is Andre.

01:12:44.560 See you elsewhere.

01:12:45.800 Bro, there's meat in heaven, dude.

01:12:46.980 You're going to hate it.

01:12:47.740 That elevator's going straight down to the produce section.

01:12:51.380 There's a veggie grill in hell, brother.

01:12:53.780 I'm so sorry I did this to you, Andre.

01:12:55.220 Yeah, they got bison in heaven, dude.

01:12:56.540 And they'll run over and let you just take a snack right out of it.

01:12:58.840 You know what they got in hell, dude?

01:13:00.340 Endless bottles of kombucha.

01:13:02.240 Just endless, bro.

01:13:03.680 Yeah, bro.

01:13:04.260 And they got your guest at 6.15.

01:13:06.400 It's about time to ring that fella, isn't it?

01:13:08.300 Oh, Andy?

01:13:09.160 Yeah.

01:13:09.560 Wait, how do you know our schedule better than we do?

01:13:12.580 Somebody's got to keep this show afloat, man.

01:13:14.740 It's true.

01:13:15.460 You got a stalled-out wedding over here.

01:13:17.880 Oh, is it done?

01:13:18.760 The tattoo's done?

01:13:19.960 No, let me see.

01:13:20.460 It's done.

01:13:21.700 Whoa!

01:13:23.060 Wow!

01:13:24.580 Show the audience.

01:13:26.220 Show the audience, Spencer.

01:13:27.160 We don't care.

01:13:27.740 Show the audience.

01:13:30.000 Thank you.

01:13:30.720 Thank you so much.

01:13:31.320 Yo, thank you, brother.

01:13:32.740 That was the first time we've done that.

01:13:34.760 I really appreciate you, bro.

01:13:36.160 Thank you.

01:13:36.620 Do you want to say anything about yourself or your family before you leave?

01:13:39.040 Yeah.

01:13:39.740 No kids?

01:13:40.640 Just a cat.

01:13:42.080 We're just grinding.

01:13:43.440 All right.

01:13:43.660 See you, man.

01:13:44.080 Thanks, bro.

01:13:46.460 You and your cat are grinding.

01:13:47.940 Do you have water?

01:13:48.780 Thanks for that, brother.

01:13:51.240 What?

01:13:51.560 Three gallons a day?

01:13:52.700 Yeah, somebody told me three liters.

01:13:54.220 They lied to me.

01:13:55.700 He only goes to the toilet in the bathroom.

01:13:57.880 Your cat does?

01:13:59.160 Well, where else would you go in the toilet?

01:14:00.600 It's AI, bro.

01:14:01.220 It's AI.

01:14:01.720 Yeah, that's not a real cat, dude.

01:14:03.280 That's a fake cat.

01:14:04.500 You got an AI cat.

01:14:05.520 You need to watch out. 1.00

01:14:06.240 One day that's going to grow and kill you. 0.99

01:14:08.240 What do you think about what he said? 0.98

01:14:09.780 He only goes to the toilet in the bathroom.

01:14:11.620 Like, where else is he going to go to the toilet?

01:14:12.980 Do you have toilets outside, too?

01:14:14.560 No, it's another way of saying poo.

01:14:16.740 Like, I'll take a piss? 0.64

01:14:17.560 I also do that.

01:14:18.560 I can relate to the cat.

01:14:19.780 How tall is the cat?

01:14:22.540 He said it's a bangle.

01:14:25.040 Probably 16 inches.

01:14:26.580 Oh, yeah.

01:14:27.040 16 inches high?

01:14:27.660 My friend has, I guess he has, like, a bichon.

01:14:31.400 A Bichon Freese?

01:14:32.840 Is that what it is?

01:14:33.520 The football player?

01:14:34.220 No, I'm not sure.

01:14:34.980 No, Bichon Freese?

01:14:35.940 No.

01:14:36.300 He played for, I think he played for...

01:14:37.960 Delaware Chargers?

01:14:38.860 No.

01:14:39.100 Delaware Chargers, yeah.

01:14:40.560 Hey, you like booze?

01:14:42.000 Nope.

01:14:42.380 Me neither.

01:14:42.840 I mean, I like it.

01:14:43.940 I hate it. 0.87

01:14:44.080 I hate it. 0.60

01:14:44.520 I don't like it that much.

01:14:45.640 I like cocaine, but I don't like really alcohol.

01:14:49.120 Anybody?

01:14:50.240 We probably don't have cocaine on the set.

01:14:52.160 Yeah.

01:14:52.340 I don't think we have any.

01:14:52.980 I don't want anyone.

01:14:53.580 I actually wouldn't be surprised if one person had it.

01:14:56.240 Oh, it wouldn't be me.

01:14:57.020 I'm clean as a whistle.

01:14:57.940 Oh, yeah.

01:14:58.600 You are?

01:14:58.920 Yeah, I used to be a drug addict

01:15:00.060 I can see that

01:15:01.180 I try to say it as lightly and politely as possible

01:15:05.240 Hey, I'm Mike and I used to be a drug addict 0.99

01:15:07.740 I used to do fucking pills, man 0.99

01:15:09.360 Dang, bro 1.00

01:15:09.960 No, I got three years sober today, actually

01:15:11.580 I just hit three years

01:15:12.280 Wow, congratulate

01:15:13.220 Today?

01:15:14.400 Congratulations

01:15:14.800 Congrats, bro

01:15:15.840 Hey, I told you

01:15:16.520 Yo, heavy congrats, bro

01:15:17.520 I said you don't strike me as a man who drinks alcohol

01:15:20.260 Why did you decide to go sober?

01:15:23.040 I just, you know, I found like

01:15:24.480 What was it really?

01:15:25.860 I actually ended up in a taxi cab

01:15:27.660 I was in the back

01:15:28.640 And the driver was in the

01:15:29.780 I was driving

01:15:30.800 He was in the back

01:15:31.500 In New York one night

01:15:33.500 That's bad

01:15:35.380 That's bad 0.99

01:15:36.440 You gotta be fucking kidding me 0.98

01:15:38.340 And that was the moment that 0.99

01:15:39.420 You realized like

01:15:40.240 This has gone too far

01:15:40.980 It's just when it's like

01:15:42.040 I was like man

01:15:42.920 You know

01:15:43.400 And it was

01:15:45.500 Look whatever dude

01:15:46.500 But it was just kind of

01:15:47.880 A crazy day

01:15:48.340 And then the next morning

01:15:49.160 I was on

01:15:49.500 Actually on the radio

01:15:50.220 I was on

01:15:50.940 What was it

01:15:52.480 Opie and Anthony

01:15:53.560 Oh yeah Opie and Anthony

01:15:54.460 Yeah yeah

01:15:54.840 And Daryl Strawberry was there

01:15:56.800 and Daryl Strawberry was there on the air

01:15:59.340 and I'd been up all night partying

01:16:01.440 and I couldn't even talk, right?

01:16:03.720 And Daryl Strawberry was there

01:16:05.780 and he was like notorious for cocaine, right?

01:16:08.340 Hold up, you came early.

01:16:09.340 Stop, stop, stop, stop.

01:16:10.940 You came early, bro.

01:16:12.500 What's good?

01:16:13.920 Come on.

01:16:14.520 Jake Paul.

01:16:14.860 It's my brother, man.

01:16:15.640 It's Jake Paul.

01:16:16.240 Come on, let's... 1.00

01:16:16.980 Oh, fuck. 1.00

01:16:17.460 I thought we were building the wall, dude. 1.00

01:16:19.520 I don't know what happened.

01:16:21.620 Go.

01:16:22.260 What up, bro?

01:16:23.260 Good to see you, man.

01:16:24.680 What's up, bro?

01:16:25.320 Thank you, guys.

01:16:25.940 How are you?

01:16:26.680 Hey, guys.

01:16:27.080 Welcome to the live episode of Impulsive, bro.

01:16:29.080 You want to sit down?

01:16:29.540 Sit down, man.

01:16:29.900 It's your brother's show, bro.

01:16:31.240 No, I don't want to sit down.

01:16:32.360 Can I ask you one question before we move anywhere else?

01:16:34.840 Yeah.

01:16:35.120 When you celebrated your third year sober, or you thought about it, did you-

01:16:38.500 I didn't even think about it until just now.

01:16:39.800 But now that you do think about it, did you think you would celebrate it over an open

01:16:43.840 bottle of Patron Tequila?

01:16:45.260 Like, literally, it's in your face, bro.

01:16:47.320 Oh, is that real tequila in there?

01:16:48.600 Yeah, take it away from them, please.

01:16:50.280 For the love of God.

01:16:50.880 You know, there's a fish that can live in there.

01:16:52.140 There's Chinese fish that can live in there.

01:16:53.660 Really?

01:16:54.260 Yeah, yeah.

01:16:54.640 And they can live in it pretty healthily

01:16:57.060 In Ohio it's illegal to get a fish drunk

01:16:59.120 So you probably couldn't have that fish in Ohio

01:17:01.740 Right

01:17:02.220 Is the fish always drunk?

01:17:03.980 I don't know man

01:17:05.200 I don't know that much about it

01:17:07.100 Now you're starting to get in the science of it

01:17:08.680 Oh wow

01:17:11.060 I'm here

01:17:12.260 Is anyone else going to clap for Jake Paul

01:17:15.360 Is it his birthday?

01:17:17.960 Is it his birthday?

01:17:19.200 It's not his birthday

01:17:19.900 Hey Jake we'll see you in a little bit

01:17:22.200 Thanks for coming in 1.00

01:17:23.540 and saying, quote-unquote, Team 10 in this bitch. 1.00

01:17:26.620 Team 10 in this bitch. 1.00

01:17:27.520 Hey, hey, we're going to call Andy right now. 0.99

01:17:30.180 Do you want to stay in on this?

01:17:31.660 Do you want to be a part or do you want to take a chill pill?

01:17:34.060 I'm going to take a chill pill, man.

01:17:35.660 I'll tell you really quick.

01:17:36.760 He said this, that anyone who's on this call, 1.00

01:17:39.920 he will never suck their dick. 1.00

01:17:41.580 So if you're here, you can nix it out right away. 1.00

01:17:44.720 Do you kind of want the allure of the potential, you know, it could happen?

01:17:48.600 No, dude, I've even had people just call the wrong number 0.81

01:17:51.480 and shit get a little awry, so I don't need to.

01:17:53.540 but i do want to say congratulations man and i really appreciate you having me on thank you 0.99

01:17:58.300 brother yeah of course yeah you guys are uh you guys are just so resilient and fucking big facts

01:18:02.720 theoban ladies and gentlemen thank you very much gang instagram at theoban thank you thank you 0.89

01:18:07.040 brother thank you bro hey hey hey be honest with me are you staying for mgk are you staying for

01:18:11.600 mgk he'll be here all right cool cool that's 70 percent of the reason why he's here here we go

01:18:16.620 guys we're gonna facetime in andy from fire festival i three years he knows we're coming

01:18:21.340 I feel a lot better after that tattoo

01:18:25.140 I'm not going to lie

01:18:25.820 It just loosened you up a little bit 1.00

01:18:27.340 Get looser because your dick is about to get sucked by a man 1.00

01:18:30.800 No guys 1.00

01:18:31.380 I'm not supposed to say that when he's on the phone

01:18:33.620 Probably not

01:18:35.480 Is it a problem that we have his number and we're live

01:18:38.280 Hey change your number man

01:18:40.560 Andy good to see you brother

01:18:43.080 How are you

01:18:47.580 I'm doing alright

01:18:49.240 Do I look dark or is it bright enough

01:18:51.320 No, you're you're good. You look tan. Yeah. Thank you, brother.

01:18:54.680 Thank you. I'm tan. I'm tan. I'm up in a cabin in Canada.

01:18:59.460 Great place to tan. Well, thank you for taking the time. For real, Andy, you're you're you're an absolute legend.

01:19:04.740 I want to just dive right into it. Has your sex life improved since the documentary came out?

01:19:11.360 Yeah. Immensely. Just ask my partner. Wow. There we go.

01:19:15.520 How long have you all been together?

01:19:17.460 um we've been together uh seven months wow so after it came out i'm i'm presuming

01:19:26.400 a little before got you got you okay and and i have to ask andy what why were you so adamant

01:19:36.180 and ready to work for billy mcfarland in the documentary i mean you you are the hero and i

01:19:41.200 think everyone respects your tenacity to really get the job done quite literally but where does

01:19:45.800 that drive come from and why why was it like that um you know i know i've known billy for many years

01:19:52.800 uh i know his mom and dad okay um and uh so we grew up in neighboring towns in new jersey so it

01:19:59.840 kind of goes back a ways gotcha gotcha and you saw billy grow up yeah uh yeah i did did you know he

01:20:08.400 was going to be a sociopath oh my god um no do you think he's not do you think he's not no sorry

01:20:14.520 I was looking at my lie detector questions for you after. 1.00

01:20:16.600 I couldn't believe I wrote some of that shit. 1.00

01:20:18.180 Holy shit. 1.00

01:20:19.720 It's bad. 1.00

01:20:20.320 It's so bad.

01:20:21.220 Andy, I'm taking a lie detector test.

01:20:22.700 Wish me luck after this.

01:20:23.440 But at any point, were you questioning your loyalty to Billy? 1.00

01:20:33.220 Because I don't know if I don't know Billy, but I don't know if I would suck a dick for Billy. 1.00

01:20:41.480 No. 1.00

01:20:41.800 I mean listen obviously it's it's a little controversial it's especially got

01:20:46.900 controversial with the LGBTQ community why why I'm curious they got a little mad

01:20:53.620 at me a couple weeks after the doc came out and they felt like I was not

01:20:58.960 representing the community very well so I literally had to go into Netflix

01:21:03.860 studio and shoot like nine little commercials like one would be hi this is

01:21:08.740 andy king if this happens to you in your workplace it's not okay oh wow oh yeah wow um and i had to

01:21:16.920 just sort of prove that you know that i'm not like this bad person but at the end of the day 0.99

01:21:21.820 i am a gay guy and i do like to suck dick like of course it wasn't like billy fed go find nine 0.99

01:21:28.960 vaginas and sleep with them one dick i can handle and i could do it i could do it quietly but of 1.00

01:21:35.020 Of course, as Ellen has said, I didn't do it very quietly. 0.99

01:21:38.120 I'm now in over 50 million homes around the world.

01:21:40.900 Hey, respect.

01:21:42.100 Quoting. 0.99

01:21:43.320 Bro, you're fucking incredible. 0.99

01:21:45.740 Can I just ask, what's up with Billy now? 0.98

01:21:48.160 Where's Billy at?

01:21:49.360 What's his life?

01:21:49.920 Are you ready for this?

01:21:52.600 I mean, he's in prison.

01:21:54.900 You know the two guys that he hangs out with that are in the cells next to him?

01:21:59.160 Who?

01:21:59.480 Or the cat?

01:22:00.780 Tommy Chong.

01:22:02.000 It better not be Takashi.

01:22:03.260 And Jordan Belfort.

01:22:03.900 Is it Tekashi 6'9"?

01:22:05.180 And Tekashi 6'9"?

01:22:05.940 Is it 6'9"?

01:22:07.380 Situation from the Jersey Shore.

01:22:09.800 Wait, what? 1.00

01:22:10.320 What the fuck is? 1.00

01:22:10.980 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:22:11.260 Why is the situation in jail?

01:22:12.580 And Michael Cohen.

01:22:14.620 And Michael Cohen.

01:22:15.340 Oh, my God.

01:22:16.220 Wow.

01:22:16.660 Classic Trump associate.

01:22:18.020 Does he have a tennis court?

01:22:20.660 Probably, yeah.

01:22:21.820 Probably.

01:22:22.440 So you can imagine.

01:22:23.960 So he's chilling.

01:22:24.580 These three guys.

01:22:25.600 These three guys are going to get out and rule the world.

01:22:27.740 Oh, wow.

01:22:28.200 They're scheming, bro.

01:22:28.600 Yeah, they're up to something.

01:22:29.620 Do you know if you get the same kind of respect in jail

01:22:32.280 as a micro-influencer

01:22:33.320 or do you have to have

01:22:34.340 a good amount of clout

01:22:35.180 to get the tennis courts?

01:22:39.220 I think they've got enough clout,

01:22:43.180 those three,

01:22:43.640 to have whatever they want.

01:22:44.960 Do you think Billy McFarlane

01:22:46.700 is going to make it

01:22:47.480 after he is out of prison?

01:22:49.500 Do you think he's going

01:22:50.020 to make a comeback?

01:22:50.880 Is he going to do

01:22:51.660 a fire festival the right way?

01:22:52.880 Because I think, personally,

01:22:53.740 that'd be huge.

01:22:56.280 Well, maybe.

01:22:58.980 Would you be involved?

01:23:00.420 Let's just say I want you guys

01:23:01.760 to stay tuned because i i'm probably going to make an announcement before he does wow let's go

01:23:08.520 are you doing fire festival the right way fire fest oh absolutely absolutely oh my god can i

01:23:16.540 please come can you give me an artist pass not a problem listen logan if you can help me like build

01:23:23.000 my follower base which i'm so new at social media i heard you're new um um uh you know what you know

01:23:28.780 me i didn't even know what a meme was so now i'm like new into it but uh andy i think you got what

01:23:33.800 it takes bro you're you're vulnerable you're open you're genuine and i was gonna ask like what

01:23:37.740 how did they convince you to uh admit that you were willing to give head for billy mcfarland

01:23:44.260 on camera was there was there a hump for you to get over because you're sacrificing a lot in your

01:23:48.880 personal life and i know i know what that feels like yeah but logan what was amazing is that i'm

01:23:54.220 so naive that literally

01:23:56.160 I was doing the interview with Chris

01:23:58.220 Smith and the whole gang and

01:24:00.040 I said listen I know you're

01:24:02.160 not going to use this but let me tell you a side

01:24:04.200 story and that's what I did

01:24:05.920 I told the side story and when I told

01:24:08.260 my business partner my lawyer

01:24:10.220 that I had said the story they're like

01:24:12.100 call them now and pull it it'll

01:24:14.180 ruin your career and now

01:24:16.180 look at me guess what fire got

01:24:18.020 nominated for four Emmys yesterday

01:24:19.960 congratulations my friend and

01:24:21.780 quite honestly some also

01:24:23.800 quite potentially bigger news is you're on the number one podcast in the world man and more even

01:24:28.540 more importantly than that i you may be i was gonna say you may be one of the only

01:24:33.360 we can't hear you either but i what mom here who are you talking to we can hear him he's listening

01:24:40.660 to you because when you speak you people listen hear him completely just well he's not saying

01:24:44.600 anything because he's again listening to what you're about to say that's that's delayed over

01:24:48.160 there bro i'm all ears oh there is you got a blue check on instagram that's pretty cool too off all

01:24:53.140 that work all right bye thank you hey hey man i have to ask because you've said in an interview 0.83

01:25:03.140 before you said you don't really want to be necessarily known as the blowjob king but the 0.53

01:25:07.640 first thing that came to my mind was to be the blowjob king you got to be you got to be good at 0.98

01:25:12.120 giving head how is your head game i think it's pretty it's pretty dope i'm not asking for me 0.99

01:25:18.700 I'm just curious.

01:25:20.440 It's pretty good.

01:25:21.380 Okay.

01:25:21.680 Yeah.

01:25:22.000 You know,

01:25:22.480 respect.

01:25:22.920 I've had a few years of practice.

01:25:24.520 I got you.

01:25:24.960 Do you have a new show coming out?

01:25:25.880 I heard you do.

01:25:27.900 I do.

01:25:28.500 We've had five offers and we're circling in on one,

01:25:31.360 which is kind of exciting.

01:25:33.400 And guess what?

01:25:33.860 I'm about to launch a podcast.

01:25:35.760 Congratulations.

01:25:36.440 What's it called?

01:25:38.520 Mouthwash.

01:25:41.080 Tim,

01:25:41.480 you're really branding yourself,

01:25:42.860 dude.

01:25:43.260 You're going, 1.00

01:25:44.000 you're going full dick on this one. 0.99

01:25:45.680 That's absolutely incredible. 1.00

01:25:47.020 Wow.

01:25:47.420 I love how you've embraced this.

01:25:49.400 I don't think it would have worked that well if you hadn't have embraced it.

01:25:52.660 Because you're the king.

01:25:53.400 You're the real Andy King.

01:25:55.040 Oh, my God.

01:25:55.680 But, Logan, you know what happens now?

01:25:56.960 I speak to thousands of people every week at conferences around the world and all different places. 0.98

01:26:02.160 And I get up on stage and I say, listen, I'm the biggest fucking failure in pop culture today. 0.99

01:26:07.640 The biggest failure. 0.99

01:26:08.720 But you know what?

01:26:10.580 Well, I mean, that was the – don't you feel like –

01:26:13.720 I feel I've had an incredibly successful career and I've hosted thousands of events. 0.95

01:26:20.900 I'm only known for one fucking event, for one event that failed. 0.94

01:26:24.900 And so I tell people, guess what? 0.98

01:26:26.940 You learn more.

01:26:27.860 And Logan, you can back me up.

01:26:29.160 You learn more from your failures than you do from your successes.

01:26:32.820 Absolutely.

01:26:33.480 So I get on stage and I say, guess what? 1.00

01:26:35.740 People fucking fail. 1.00

01:26:37.340 And they do. 1.00

01:26:38.680 And you walk.

01:26:39.340 And what do you do?

01:26:39.980 You get up in the morning, Logan.

01:26:41.060 You go, you know what?

01:26:41.800 I'm going to shake it off.

01:26:42.800 i'm a better person i'll i'll you know i'm gonna be true to myself and true to everybody else

01:26:48.860 and you move on right and that's what i'm doing and you know it seems to be paying off for sure

01:26:54.520 absolutely it absolutely is but not everyone's like that like how was there was there a moment

01:26:59.320 of uh potential uh quit that you had did you think about crawling into a hole

01:27:07.620 um well when i got back from uh the bahamas and the fbi was following me for a few days

01:27:16.080 and then i left the country for six weeks until things calmed down yeah i was really

01:27:20.820 you left the country for six weeks yeah six weeks um but you know what and what was amazing is that

01:27:29.260 i got in trouble i told a fire festival story to a client overseas when i was hosting a big event

01:27:35.360 in switzerland my lawyer and my business partner called and said never mention fire festival ever 0.94

01:27:40.560 again and i agreed and one week later i said you know what fuck you i am proud of what i do i did 0.98

01:27:47.600 everything in my power to save that damn thing and you know you try to host a music festival 0.99

01:27:53.160 with no infrastructure on a small island in the bahamas in six weeks with you know a disaster 0.98

01:27:58.340 around you i did my best and um and i that's where i talk to young kids today i say listen

01:28:03.540 don't go to work for big corporations don't take a job in a cubicle take a risk get out there follow

01:28:10.020 your heart be passionate about it you might fail but you know what look i failed and now i'm about

01:28:16.140 to launch a tv show a podcast um i'm about to be you know a spokesperson for several incredible

01:28:23.840 brands because a lot of young kids are embracing me today like how many dads would get out there 0.99

01:28:28.160 and say willing to go suck a dick well it's it i agree yeah you're absolutely right i'm just 0.99

01:28:34.260 thinking like a lot of other people are like their their kids are like i gotta go outside 1.00

01:28:38.880 and mow the lawn like or the dad's like i gotta go to work today and i mean some dads are different 1.00

01:28:43.880 they're just want to go suck a dick dude you know yeah thanks i mean but sucking dick i'm just 1.00

01:28:49.640 gonna say this real quick sucking dick can go both ways it's risky bro it's monica lewinski 1.00

01:28:54.280 It made her. 1.00

01:28:55.260 It made her.

01:28:56.060 It made her, bro.

01:28:57.040 She is who she is because of all that.

01:28:58.440 But did it?

01:28:59.340 Oh, yeah, dude.

01:28:59.980 I saw Monica recently, bro. 0.98

01:29:01.240 She's an anti-bullying advocate.

01:29:02.640 She's got books.

01:29:03.560 She's a multi-millionaire. 1.00

01:29:04.720 Oh, so she's running with it.

01:29:05.620 Oh, she's crushing it, bro.

01:29:06.640 I didn't know that.

01:29:07.120 I thought it was the opposite. 1.00

01:29:07.960 She's a multi-millionaire off of a little cigar trick, dude. 1.00

01:29:10.740 Oh, wow. 1.00

01:29:13.280 Andy, real quick.

01:29:14.460 I want to keep talking to you, but the next thing we're doing on this show is a...

01:29:18.720 I hate this.

01:29:20.300 We're doing a lie detector test on me.

01:29:22.800 Yeah.

01:29:22.960 I'm being administered the test.

01:29:24.660 I'm excited about this.

01:29:25.800 All right.

01:29:26.160 And so we're going to get it set up right here as we continue to talk.

01:29:29.240 Mike, you're going to be asking me the questions?

01:29:31.160 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:29:31.840 This ought to be good.

01:29:32.740 How deep are they?

01:29:34.840 So when we talked to Logan beforehand about how crazy we should get with these questions,

01:29:39.020 he said, quote, unquote, Mike, I want you to bring all of the smoke. 0.99

01:29:44.240 me being someone who is anti-bitch anti-fakery anti-fugaziness i am bringing the motherfucking 0.99

01:29:52.460 smoke bro i'm asking you questions that you just are you're gonna squirm in your seat 1.00

01:29:56.580 ex-girlfriends will run from the room this will turn into a fucking disaster dude hey because of 0.98

01:30:02.020 me but i'm an actor bro so i could i mean hi by the way john john i'm your new best friend mike 0.96

01:30:08.480 how you doing good to meet you john how are you he's he's not playing games he didn't smile when

01:30:12.860 No, he's here to detect lies.

01:30:15.100 Like, yo, imagine this.

01:30:15.960 You meet the world's number one ex-controversial YouTuber, Logan Paul. 0.99

01:30:19.260 He doesn't give a shit right now. 0.99

01:30:20.880 No. 0.99

01:30:21.220 This dude could be sitting with a bagger from Stop and Shop, dude. 1.00

01:30:24.440 He doesn't give a shit. 0.99

01:30:25.600 His shirt says polygraph examiner. 0.99

01:30:27.180 Andy, I'm so sorry.

01:30:28.300 No, Andy's just hanging out.

01:30:29.640 Andy, dude.

01:30:30.020 Andy got distracted.

01:30:31.280 I'm loving it.

01:30:31.940 I'm loving it.

01:30:32.600 This is cool.

01:30:33.160 Do you like to lie, Andy, ever?

01:30:34.420 Have you ever lied about anything?

01:30:36.580 I'm not a good liar.

01:30:38.220 No.

01:30:40.160 Maybe a fib here or there, but no lies.

01:30:42.780 what's the difference between a fib and a lie though i think a lie often can have malicious

01:30:47.160 intent you know like more playful like a little more playful hey you know i i i don't lie and i

01:30:52.480 pride myself on lying i'm probably going to try to lie a couple times during this but in general

01:30:55.640 i don't lie though i like just a little something we'll do major white lies major major i'm gonna

01:31:03.000 be honest like i heard this saying i don't know if it's the greatest but what mama doesn't know

01:31:08.100 don't hurt her right so if you can kind of skeet skirt by you just by still telling the truth you

01:31:13.960 gotta be careful with that one what because karma what's the worst that could happen i pull my

01:31:17.380 hamstring and get sued for three hundred thousand dollars which happened yesterday that could

01:31:20.700 happen i don't know review team are we gonna be able to keep that in we cut that oh no no no they

01:31:26.600 just said you can mark that don't even because we can't do anything with it uh andy have you paid

01:31:31.080 back all the people in the bahamas uh we're working on that so logan maybe you could help

01:31:35.860 help me if I can get, I'm trying to get as many followers as possible. And we're, um, you know,

01:31:40.760 we're getting there slowly, but surely, uh, you may have, you may saw, I did a TV commercial with

01:31:46.140 Ryan Reynolds with activation gin, which was kind of fun. Um, Ryan's sending down 25 grand to the

01:31:51.360 Bahamas for me and we've raised like 300 grand or something, but another couple hundred grand

01:31:57.240 more to go. Really? What's the total number? Uh, 400,000. Okay. So you're close. Logan lost

01:32:05.060 about that much

01:32:05.820 on a boxing fight

01:32:06.920 against KSI

01:32:07.800 yeah man

01:32:08.660 Andy I'm losing

01:32:09.520 a lot of money

01:32:10.120 and now that I'm not

01:32:11.620 in Google Preferred

01:32:12.620 but again I'm

01:32:13.120 ex-controversial YouTuber

01:32:14.380 please take me back

01:32:15.220 maybe we could get

01:32:15.780 back on it

01:32:16.340 would you ever

01:32:17.600 consider working

01:32:18.520 for Team Maverick

01:32:19.440 or are you doing

01:32:20.740 your own thing

01:32:21.240 absolutely

01:32:23.120 you'd get

01:32:23.740 I'm gonna be honest

01:32:24.540 you'd get followers

01:32:25.200 like Billy I want

01:32:26.320 someone like you

01:32:27.680 working with us

01:32:28.720 like you're the friend

01:32:29.820 that I wish I had

01:32:31.120 oh my god

01:32:33.600 Logan you're a great kind

01:32:34.400 No, that makes sense to me.

01:32:35.820 I mean, listen, he's willing to do one more thing than I am.

01:32:38.540 You need to surround yourself with people that have your back, right?

01:32:43.400 That's the key.

01:32:44.800 And we do.

01:32:46.740 We have his back.

01:32:47.580 I think why he's interested in you is because you would have his front as well.

01:32:52.460 Very true.

01:32:54.040 Well, you know, benefits.

01:32:56.340 What do you actually do?

01:32:59.080 Like, don't take this offensively, but what's your actual job now?

01:33:03.900 have you have you pivoted um well the here's the irony logan is that i run a zero waste event 1.00

01:33:10.920 business and um so i you know the irony is that i was willing to suck a dick in the bahamas 0.98

01:33:17.600 for 250 000 plastic water bottles you know yep and i would never i don't have plastic at any 1.00

01:33:25.280 of our events and there it was i was gonna suck suck dick for 250 000 plastic water bottles but 0.99

01:33:30.960 But that deal was already made with Evian with Billy before I got on the ground. 0.99

01:33:36.000 So I run a zero-waste event business, which is really cool.

01:33:39.700 I hosted an event recently for Leonardo DiCaprio and helped him raise over $8 million for climate change.

01:33:45.400 And it was 99.9% zero waste.

01:33:48.300 That's incredible.

01:33:49.080 I think that's the future.

01:33:50.000 We've been trying to do –

01:33:50.880 500 guests.

01:33:51.640 Had a really great –

01:33:52.620 We've been trying to do some waste for plastic-free stuff.

01:33:57.160 I might do a documentary on removing the plastic from the ocean.

01:33:59.700 We're supposed to.

01:34:00.120 Because, well, it's just, it's getting, it's getting bad.

01:34:02.840 It's getting real bad.

01:34:03.760 And there's this kid, you might know him.

01:34:06.720 His name is Boyan Slat, who's making some extreme strides in the activism for the ocean.

01:34:10.460 Do you know that kid?

01:34:12.020 Yeah, I've read about him.

01:34:12.960 He's doing amazing work.

01:34:13.760 He's incredible.

01:34:14.540 He's a young killer, and I want to get connected to him one day. 1.00

01:34:17.200 Let's do a shot. 1.00

01:34:18.180 I would, I would love, a shot? 0.99

01:34:20.160 I just accidentally hit, let's do a shot. 0.97

01:34:22.220 No, you didn't.

01:34:23.460 Please, no, please, no, not before the lie detector test.

01:34:26.100 Logan, let's just say that my music festival is going to be zero waste.

01:34:29.940 I love that.

01:34:30.860 Is it going to be in the Bahamas?

01:34:33.800 No.

01:34:34.940 Let's just say one of the options right now is to call my next festival Water, W-A-T-R,

01:34:40.500 and I'm going to host it in Flint, Michigan.

01:34:42.020 How do you like that?

01:34:42.660 I like what you're doing there.

01:34:43.560 I'm from Michigan, so I'll be there.

01:34:46.020 Beautiful.

01:34:46.720 You know, why not?

01:34:47.820 My job right now, which hopefully, Logan, you can help me with,

01:34:50.240 is to inspire young kids to do the right thing today, right?

01:34:53.720 And music festivals are so wasteful at this point.

01:34:57.340 How about if we can you imagine going to a music festival where I'm I'm supporting and featuring local farmers and cool young chefs and local comedians and and all the cool, talented musicians in that area, as well as, you know, obviously big headliners.

01:35:12.820 But how cool would that be to go to a music festival where you totally feel great about it and we're not destroying the environment?

01:35:19.160 I like that a lot. I think the millennials will, too.

01:35:21.400 Andy, bad news. This is all we have time wise for you.

01:35:24.940 I'm about to do a lie detector test

01:35:26.140 and my brother's here

01:35:26.740 we want to talk to him for a second

01:35:27.740 but I want to thank you brother

01:35:28.960 Logan thank you

01:35:30.960 so follow me

01:35:32.240 on TheRealAndyKing

01:35:33.220 at TheRealAndyKing

01:35:35.600 on social media

01:35:36.740 you're amazing Andy

01:35:38.900 and I'll hit you up

01:35:39.860 about working for Team Maverick

01:35:41.480 thank you brother

01:35:42.640 beautiful

01:35:43.260 thanks my friend

01:35:44.820 bye Andy

01:35:45.600 great

01:35:46.180 good luck

01:35:47.120 ciao for now

01:35:47.720 bye

01:35:48.100 the hangups are always awkward

01:35:51.400 if I'm being like

01:35:52.000 well you didn't exactly

01:35:52.740 do great yourself

01:35:53.440 you did nothing

01:35:54.740 I love that mission though

01:35:55.880 Have you ever been to a music festival

01:35:57.820 And when you're leaving

01:35:58.580 And it's just like

01:35:59.720 It's just destroyed

01:36:01.160 It's like what

01:36:02.220 Yeah most of

01:36:02.720 Like Coachella

01:36:03.360 Yeah man 1.00

01:36:03.940 Because you go hard as fuck 0.99

01:36:05.040 Hey that interview 0.99

01:36:05.800 But that's like when you

01:36:06.900 When you think about like

01:36:08.040 Young people

01:36:08.980 Trying to make a change

01:36:10.480 And then we look at like

01:36:11.500 We go to these festivals

01:36:12.360 And we're destroying the planet

01:36:13.760 I don't know if those are the young people

01:36:14.860 Trying to make a change

01:36:15.700 I know who he's making a change

01:36:17.660 Some people claim they are in there

01:36:18.380 I know a young person

01:36:19.360 Ready to make a change

01:36:20.120 I know who this is

01:36:20.680 He's phenomenal

01:36:21.340 He's an idol to many

01:36:22.600 Seven year olds

01:36:23.400 All across the world

01:36:24.600 It's my brother, my blood

01:36:27.120 And my best friend, Jake Paul

01:36:28.600 Let's go, Jake

01:36:30.780 There he is

01:36:33.260 One person chant

01:36:35.240 Hey, how are you, man?

01:36:38.340 Thanks for coming by

01:36:39.100 Here to make a change

01:36:40.080 Looking good 1.00

01:36:40.740 Fuck you, Mike 1.00

01:36:43.580 Oh, y'all are beefing right now 1.00

01:36:45.700 There was a picture of you hugging

01:36:49.120 At the charity game

01:36:49.940 He forced it

01:36:51.180 Oh, that's what it looked like

01:36:52.840 He actually went up to the guy, the Hollywood Fix guy, and was like, hey.

01:36:57.600 Take a pic.

01:36:58.260 Yeah, get this on camera.

01:37:00.720 I'd like to see you hooked up to the lie detector test and say that. 0.98

01:37:04.160 Hey, do you think this is dumb, Jake, me doing a lie detector test on live? 0.98

01:37:08.180 Like Mike. 0.99

01:37:08.620 Oh, my God.

01:37:09.380 You see, I'm way hooked up right now.

01:37:11.240 Yeah. 0.99

01:37:12.320 That's dumb, bro. 0.99

01:37:13.160 It looks really legit. 1.00

01:37:14.460 Like, it looks like it's a real lie detector test.

01:37:18.700 Who's asking the questions?

01:37:20.160 Can I ask some questions?

01:37:21.260 Do you want to? 0.99

01:37:21.940 I'm dumb. 1.00

01:37:22.840 Fuck 1.00

01:37:23.540 I got some big ones 1.00

01:37:24.920 So stupid 1.00

01:37:25.360 That is stupid 1.00

01:37:26.520 Hey Dylan should we 1.00

01:37:27.500 Oh Dylan's gone

01:37:29.040 The producer

01:37:29.420 It's fine

01:37:29.800 Did he quit

01:37:30.240 Or is he just

01:37:30.980 Not in the room

01:37:31.840 I think he quit

01:37:32.440 He actually told me

01:37:33.260 Did he bounce

01:37:33.540 Oh that's no problem

01:37:34.260 He actually told me

01:37:36.520 On the way out

01:37:36.880 Can I ask you

01:37:37.540 How your ankle is feeling

01:37:38.580 I understand you've

01:37:39.480 Rolled your ankle

01:37:40.000 And there's some

01:37:40.620 Talk that you need surgery

01:37:41.840 And you will not be able

01:37:42.600 To participate in the

01:37:43.400 Challenger games

01:37:44.040 No I don't need

01:37:46.120 I don't need any surgery

01:37:47.360 At all

01:37:48.120 Actually

01:37:48.720 My ankle is

01:37:51.200 My ankle

01:37:51.620 I'm about two days out

01:37:52.640 from being able to start training.

01:37:54.000 Really?

01:37:54.460 Yes.

01:37:55.160 Have you spoken about your hamstring yet?

01:37:57.240 They know, bro.

01:37:57.980 They know?

01:37:58.620 Ladies and gentlemen, 1.00

01:37:59.320 I pulled my fucking hamstring guarding Snoop Dogg. 0.99

01:38:02.600 Yep. 1.00

01:38:04.140 Slenderman.

01:38:04.640 It sounds so bad.

01:38:06.720 I think I might have been running

01:38:08.140 to get the ball from Floyd Mayweather.

01:38:09.520 I forgot that he's a world-class athlete,

01:38:12.280 so even though he's not technically good at basketball,

01:38:14.380 he's still kind of quick with it.

01:38:16.380 He's nifty.

01:38:16.780 Yeah, yeah.

01:38:17.640 Nifty.

01:38:18.160 Yeah, he's swift.

01:38:18.720 i've been getting this note for the past 10 minutes uh we do have another sponsor i can't

01:38:26.340 believe it um is this real this one's real because it feels like you have a sponsor second

01:38:31.380 sponsor of the day after 99 episodes of only the maverick brand sponsoring us yeah so this is your

01:38:37.060 first time ever having a sponsor and you have two of them yes yeah and i and i've been i've been

01:38:41.460 told there's like bullet points and stuff i have to hit i what did i say oh cheap i meant to say

01:38:45.800 cheaper sorry ray j if i completely what he meant was really great value and also they sound really

01:38:52.040 good they sound great that's what i said yeah he said that earlier when he said yeah if you guys

01:38:56.340 want some they're right here go to buy raycon.com slash logan to get 15 off your order again that's

01:39:01.260 buy raycon raycon.com slash logan 50 off your order every pair this is incredible yeah no it's

01:39:07.500 big bro this is incredible well because we've i feel like we're finally going to start making

01:39:10.880 money from the show like i heard joe rogan makes nine million dollars a show a show what yeah yeah

01:39:18.000 he does a show a day a year what just from his podcast and nine million dollars a year yeah just

01:39:23.400 from his podcast what do you think is it worth that to the opportunity cost of starting a podcast

01:39:27.200 uh i don't know i don't know man these are long and long they are long they're long and hard and

01:39:35.880 dry. Bet you Andy

01:39:37.700 would be able to help with that.

01:39:39.960 Who's Andy? From Fyre Fest. We just

01:39:41.740 FaceTimed him in. I'm pretty sure you saw it happen,

01:39:43.700 which is surprising. Well, I don't know.

01:39:45.900 Just because I saw something happen

01:39:47.700 doesn't mean I know the guy's name. Fact.

01:39:49.500 And I didn't watch the documentary, but I know he tried to suck 1.00

01:39:51.680 a dick. 1.00

01:39:53.160 He did try. He was willing. 1.00

01:39:55.560 He was ready. Willing and

01:39:57.500 try. Is anyone at Team 10

01:39:59.340 working for you

01:40:01.000 like that? Are they that

01:40:03.620 loyal? Because I know loyalty's big. You have a loyalty

01:40:05.680 tattoo on your body.

01:40:07.320 And if so, I said...

01:40:09.280 My mom's doing the neck.

01:40:11.400 She's saying absolutely not.

01:40:12.740 Hey, Blue, you filmed for my brother. 0.53

01:40:15.320 Don't stab him in the back, bro. I mean it.

01:40:18.520 He said, I got you, bro.

01:40:19.620 But what he means is

01:40:21.380 if something bad happens and there's a robber

01:40:23.440 who says the only way Jake lives is if

01:40:25.580 Blue...

01:40:26.880 Forget the bullet.

01:40:30.720 No bullet. 1.00

01:40:31.620 Would you suck a dick? 1.00

01:40:33.820 Alright, fire. 1.00

01:40:34.940 Damn, you were very emphatic about that. 0.98

01:40:37.020 This is why Blue is great for many different reasons. 0.99

01:40:41.060 He's a personality as well.

01:40:42.280 He is there for the greater good.

01:40:44.860 What do you think about John?

01:40:46.500 John is great. 0.96

01:40:47.860 Hopefully Blue doesn't leave you with blue balls. 0.87

01:40:51.440 Yeah.

01:40:52.120 It was bound to happen. 1.00

01:40:53.220 Fuck yeah, man. 1.00

01:40:54.060 The joke was bound to get made. 1.00

01:40:55.580 I'm so sorry.

01:40:56.900 Hey, John, are you...

01:40:58.580 He's serious.

01:40:59.660 Every time I look over at him, he's just detecting lies already.

01:41:02.320 Are you ready?

01:41:02.960 Logan, are you ready?

01:41:03.700 I don't know, bro. 0.99

01:41:04.940 I'm kind of, this is fucked up. 0.99

01:41:06.220 I see a little bead of sweat for you now. 0.99

01:41:07.940 No, I'm finally sweating.

01:41:08.800 I'm nervous.

01:41:09.320 I'm not going to lie.

01:41:09.700 Thank you.

01:41:10.800 Jake, do you want to be here for this?

01:41:12.260 Yeah, he should.

01:41:12.640 For what?

01:41:13.080 Because he should add on at the end.

01:41:14.400 I think he asked that question because he's scared.

01:41:16.540 He's so scared.

01:41:17.640 Well, because no one knows me more than you.

01:41:20.160 Can someone cue up some of that, like, who wants to be a millionaire type music?

01:41:24.380 Do we have that?

01:41:25.380 Not that song, obviously, because we'll get copyrighted.

01:41:27.500 I don't care if we get copyright claim because I don't make any money on the show anyways.

01:41:31.340 John, it's almost your time, Deshaun.

01:41:34.480 I actually think it is

01:41:35.340 Before we start

01:41:36.460 Nothing?

01:41:36.920 You're just gonna sit there

01:41:37.840 Like you're the sound guy

01:41:39.000 You're just gonna sit there 1.00

01:41:39.620 Like a fucking bearded pilgrim 1.00

01:41:40.980 Don't take it personal 1.00

01:41:42.140 Mike

01:41:42.860 He's salty

01:41:43.660 Mike bro

01:41:44.440 This is why we need to have a talk

01:41:45.420 With you

01:41:45.900 Why don't you do it right now?

01:41:47.140 I'm down to have the talk

01:41:48.380 How long is it gonna be?

01:41:52.100 I think

01:41:52.660 It is a

01:41:54.440 It's a

01:41:55.200 You're gonna use a big word?

01:41:56.220 It's a talk

01:41:56.680 It's a talk

01:41:58.260 Maybe we do it for the overtime

01:41:59.600 Like off cam?

01:42:00.980 No no no

01:42:01.580 Like later

01:42:01.980 Audio only?

01:42:02.720 Yeah

01:42:02.960 Do we have that?

01:42:03.920 It's like that serious?

01:42:04.280 That it's off cam?

01:42:05.880 No, I don't know

01:42:07.320 Welcome to Maverick Uncut

01:42:09.620 Let's squash the beef later

01:42:12.040 I do want to throw it to John

01:42:13.880 Blue said push it

01:42:16.200 Blue wants the convo to happen

01:42:17.680 Of course Blue does

01:42:18.740 He wants the ratings to go up 1.00

01:42:19.960 Fuck it, go, go 1.00

01:42:21.180 What's Mike's problem? 1.00

01:42:22.700 Or do we do this after?

01:42:23.440 Maybe it has nothing to do with that 0.99

01:42:24.600 You are a selfish clout chaser 1.00

01:42:27.180 That's a major drill 1.00

01:42:32.980 That's a fact

01:42:33.700 But let's break both down.

01:42:35.200 Selfish.

01:42:36.020 Let's break selfish down first.

01:42:38.120 Lay me the examples.

01:42:39.220 Because once you make a claim, you then have to back it up.

01:42:41.160 I know you don't know how a lot of stuff works from an educational standpoint, but let's roll it out.

01:42:45.600 Go ahead.

01:42:46.360 When you say selfish, what do you mean by that?

01:42:48.520 No, just keep talking.

01:42:49.460 You're digging yourself into your own hole.

01:42:51.220 No, I'm not.

01:42:51.560 Which is what you tend to do.

01:42:52.660 No, I just asked you a question.

01:42:53.620 When you say selfish, now back it up there, Jake Pauler.

01:42:56.800 Go ahead.

01:42:59.100 Jake Paul.

01:43:00.020 Er.

01:43:01.580 What's good, Ma?

01:43:04.100 Jakey, you've got five seconds left on our show, brother.

01:43:06.840 Come on.

01:43:07.240 Everything you do is for your own for your own personal gain.

01:43:11.140 OK.

01:43:11.460 And it's hard.

01:43:12.340 One example, please.

01:43:13.460 So it's hard to.

01:43:15.180 Are you going to say?

01:43:15.700 Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to say I'm going to say an example.

01:43:18.620 So you go to you.

01:43:20.640 And this is a specific example that has been talked about in my in my organization, like multiple times. 0.99

01:43:27.160 I don't I'm the person that doesn't like write shit down. 0.91

01:43:29.760 however you go to you go to miami with or you go to miami with adam and armani yep and you guys are 0.98

01:43:40.420 like hanging out one night the whole like the whole entire night like they're they're getting

01:43:43.740 you a hotel they got you like all of this like these comps i don't know all the details but

01:43:47.780 they basically are hooking you up the whole entire night and oh my god so what was that

01:43:53.040 Go on, keep going, keep going, keep going.

01:43:56.980 And you go to...

01:44:00.460 Live without them?

01:44:01.400 No, yeah.

01:44:02.340 You guys agree to buy a table together. 1.00

01:44:04.640 I can do this much faster because, by the way, all of your shit's wrong. 0.99

01:44:07.460 First of all, I went to Miami on a brand deal. 0.99

01:44:09.740 That was offered to me.

01:44:10.640 I was paid to go there to go to a boat party.

01:44:13.120 Azadi was there.

01:44:14.020 They were all there.

01:44:14.680 That's grand.

01:44:15.200 And what did you do when you didn't have a place to stay?

01:44:19.040 I got my own hotel.

01:44:20.260 That's not true.

01:44:21.080 Yeah, it is because a girl from Connecticut stayed at it with me.

01:44:23.840 You know that.

01:44:24.500 Everyone knows that.

01:44:25.580 I had my own hotel at, was at the Shelbourne.

01:44:28.840 I can't remember what hotel I stayed at.

01:44:30.180 I did not stay with them, not even for a second.

01:44:32.600 So here's one of the problems with you, Jake.

01:44:35.580 You use lies to garner attention, okay?

01:44:39.500 Similar to what some would say is the situation with Jana and Tana.

01:44:44.220 You are now lying on air to try to drive clout for the situation.

01:44:50.840 Which is ugly

01:44:51.460 You use things that aren't true

01:44:53.220 Guys, I hate to do this

01:44:54.720 No, because it's unfair

01:44:55.740 Now he's come on the show 0.99

01:44:57.900 Called me out with shit that was untrue 0.99

01:45:00.140 Which is unfair 1.00

01:45:00.560 No, no, no, no, no, stop, stop, stop, stop

01:45:02.060 But also, like

01:45:04.340 I'm gonna put a pin in this

01:45:06.920 I shouldn't have let it happen

01:45:09.240 But now we're here 0.92

01:45:09.960 And it's fucking weird 0.98

01:45:10.720 You blue balled everyone 0.99

01:45:11.760 You blue balled everyone

01:45:12.540 I know, but also

01:45:13.340 I'm getting the neck from so many people

01:45:14.980 No, no, the problem is

01:45:16.680 Like it's gonna get to a point

01:45:17.620 I've been here before

01:45:18.520 Well, that's the thing

01:45:19.000 no no no because you say that thing and then let me say Mike doesn't have a no I'm saying 1.00

01:45:24.380 I'm saying one last thing Mike doesn't I also don't know about I don't know about that shit 0.96

01:45:28.820 either and also I'm going to say this for Adam and for anyone else who's watching it that felt 0.71

01:45:35.420 that way by the way I didn't know this stuff they never reached out to me I'm sorry for

01:45:39.600 slighting you in whatever way I did I apologize I mean that Jake for things that I've said about

01:45:46.280 You don't know what you said though 0.87

01:45:48.320 This is such a sociopathic sorry 0.65

01:45:51.160 No it's not 0.90

01:45:51.940 I'm sorry for what I said

01:45:53.860 And what I did and I want to be friends again

01:45:56.380 Because you have clout 0.97

01:45:57.040 If I didn't have clout Mike you wouldn't give a fuck about me 0.97

01:45:59.860 I didn't even say that I wanted to be friends again 0.89

01:46:01.660 But that's what you're going

01:46:03.680 I'll try one more time

01:46:06.320 Okay let's settle this another time

01:46:08.220 I do love you

01:46:09.480 I told your mom today

01:46:12.240 I love you

01:46:13.000 I'm sorry that you feel that way

01:46:14.420 You don't have to love me back

01:46:15.280 you don't have to take my apology

01:46:17.100 here's the thing about love bro

01:46:19.040 often times

01:46:20.220 I don't like you

01:46:22.080 but I always love you

01:46:23.860 90% of the time I like you

01:46:26.520 vice versa

01:46:27.560 but I think there are things where you

01:46:30.680 don't see where you're wrong

01:46:32.580 and here's the thing

01:46:34.580 that's true

01:46:35.800 he's your biggest advocate

01:46:37.640 he's your biggest advocate

01:46:40.160 and there's so many people

01:46:42.560 that you leave

01:46:43.700 In a pissed off state

01:46:46.580 When you go about your life

01:46:47.960 And I hear about it all the time

01:46:50.120 And I am one of those people

01:46:52.440 Really quickly

01:46:53.060 And I don't write down examples of like

01:46:55.120 You did this

01:46:56.100 I don't have time to list examples 0.99

01:46:58.680 But it's just like a collection of fuckery 0.88

01:47:01.660 Really quickly 0.98

01:47:02.560 I think that people being upset

01:47:04.700 Is more indicative of

01:47:06.180 Can I finish please

01:47:07.440 I think the people being upset

01:47:10.340 Is more indicative of the people

01:47:12.200 than the actions you're citing

01:47:14.620 because those are all

01:47:16.000 they're not true 1.00

01:47:17.100 you're an idiot for that 1.00

01:47:20.060 it's all about how you react to shit 1.00

01:47:22.080 I'll do it 1.00

01:47:23.620 let's keep it positive

01:47:24.660 it's the 100th episode

01:47:25.940 let's talk about it after

01:47:30.440 listen

01:47:30.760 I want to do this lie detector test

01:47:34.040 I really do

01:47:34.600 look at his veins are popping out of his arm

01:47:37.580 he's about to suffocate

01:47:39.220 I'm bleeding out

01:47:41.160 Let's postpone that combo

01:47:43.780 You guys did good

01:47:45.140 I'd rather not even have it

01:47:46.040 Let's do it

01:47:46.380 Can we take a deep breath?

01:47:47.220 It's on a regular

01:47:47.700 I'll do it with you

01:47:48.620 One, two, three

01:47:49.040 We're all good

01:47:52.980 We're all good here

01:47:53.800 Now John, how are you?

01:47:54.760 Let's tell some lies

01:47:55.360 John, we're about to be best friends

01:47:57.100 Have you ever smiled in your life?

01:47:58.440 I need to know

01:47:58.920 Not once

01:47:59.660 No problem

01:48:00.340 He's not lying

01:48:01.260 He's not lying

01:48:02.260 Not a single time

01:48:02.800 His name says John Polygraph Examiner

01:48:04.840 John, how accurate is this test?

01:48:09.800 Almost 100%

01:48:11.080 Almost 100%.

01:48:11.960 What do I need to do to make sure it's as accurate as possible?

01:48:15.340 I heard I need to be still.

01:48:16.420 Is that true?

01:48:17.320 Answer yes or no with your mouth only.

01:48:19.380 No body movement.

01:48:21.140 Sit still.

01:48:21.760 John is terrifying me.

01:48:24.740 Oh, John.

01:48:26.360 Why you got to be so serious about it?

01:48:27.700 This isn't fun?

01:48:28.320 This isn't like a fun thing?

01:48:30.660 This is polygraph, not a joke.

01:48:32.440 Okay.

01:48:32.900 Can we get a mic on him?

01:48:35.340 Potentially.

01:48:35.800 Yeah.

01:48:35.980 What do you think the one sitting in front of him is for?

01:48:37.580 Oh, you got to lean in a little bit so we can hear you.

01:48:39.940 There we go.

01:48:41.080 okay so just yes or no questions and and mike's asking yep john are you ready oh man you are

01:48:50.200 is everybody ready can we do a test maybe i'm gonna set up john i'm gonna set a baseline

01:48:56.080 are you cool with that okay question number one wait

01:49:00.480 oh my god are you getting are you getting drunk it would appear that way little brother

01:49:07.880 Are you already drunk?

01:49:09.480 No, I wish.

01:49:10.920 Well, then you should drink more.

01:49:12.780 Right.

01:49:13.840 Question number one.

01:49:14.820 Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot. 1.00

01:49:18.800 Bro, you guys are lame as fuck. 1.00

01:49:20.380 Honestly, this is lame. 1.00

01:49:21.160 All right, all right.

01:49:21.580 This is lame.

01:49:22.960 I'll take it.

01:49:23.400 No, bro, because it's about to get, I feel like, really intense.

01:49:25.760 Do I have a cough?

01:49:26.740 Well, if I'm intoxicated, I want that. 0.93

01:49:28.260 Shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot, shot. 0.59

01:49:34.560 This is the most wild thing I've seen to date.

01:49:39.880 All right, here we go.

01:49:42.460 Now I'm mixing, bro.

01:49:43.620 I've got a problem here.

01:49:44.240 I'm going to try to start this.

01:49:47.540 Is your name Logan Alexander Paul?

01:49:53.100 Yes.

01:49:54.660 That's true.

01:49:56.220 We've got one down. 0.62

01:49:57.480 Let's go.

01:50:00.300 Is this the set of Impulsive?

01:50:03.880 Yes.

01:50:04.560 that's true

01:50:06.320 nice

01:50:07.100 do you have

01:50:08.900 what would be

01:50:09.680 considered 0.99

01:50:10.220 a micro penis 0.99

01:50:11.740 no 1.00

01:50:19.720 that's a lie

01:50:21.680 wait what

01:50:24.740 hold on a second

01:50:25.440 hold on a second 1.00

01:50:26.400 hold on a second

01:50:27.420 are you

01:50:28.420 can

01:50:28.740 let me

01:50:29.940 I feel like there may have been

01:50:31.100 some malfunction there

01:50:31.920 let me

01:50:32.200 I'm gonna ask that a little more

01:50:33.580 straightforward John

01:50:34.220 Do you have a micropenis?

01:50:38.680 Yes.

01:50:40.220 That's true.

01:50:42.520 Sorry.

01:50:43.300 Are you, John, John, can you state your credentials, please?

01:50:48.280 I've been testing for over 30 years.

01:50:50.700 In what, in what settings?

01:50:53.480 Criminal and relationship.

01:50:56.200 Relationship.

01:50:56.980 Does he check out? 1.00

01:50:58.520 Are you fucking with me? 1.00

01:50:59.500 Bad legit. 1.00

01:51:00.240 Really?

01:51:00.580 Do I have a micropenis?

01:51:02.380 I'm just saying, like, you do.

01:51:04.220 Yeah, I mean, according – this is legit.

01:51:06.420 Okay, here we go.

01:51:08.180 Are you faking the hamstring injury to get out of the Challenger games

01:51:12.120 because you're afraid of losing to Jake Paul?

01:51:14.220 No.

01:51:15.840 That's true.

01:51:16.540 Okay.

01:51:17.260 Wow, so now I'm actually scared about the micro-penis one.

01:51:21.720 I really did think for a second that you faked it.

01:51:24.960 Why would I do that?

01:51:26.360 So that when I beat you, it's less humiliating.

01:51:29.360 Wow.

01:51:29.880 Doug, I told you this.

01:51:30.900 You're the least of my concerns.

01:51:32.860 All right, clip that.

01:51:33.840 Someone clipped that. 1.00

01:51:34.980 Save that.

01:51:35.500 Tag me on IG in that clip so I can put it in one of my vlogs later when I beat him.

01:51:38.580 Thank you.

01:51:39.680 Do you think vegans should be treated as humans?

01:51:43.300 Yeah.

01:51:43.800 Yeah, I do.

01:51:45.340 True.

01:51:45.900 That's my boy.

01:51:47.220 That's my boy.

01:51:48.200 There we go.

01:51:48.800 I was doubting you.

01:51:49.940 I was doubting you.

01:51:51.980 Vegans are saving the planet, bro.

01:51:53.380 That's true.

01:51:53.860 Add respect.

01:51:54.500 Do you think you will ever get back on Google Preferred?

01:51:59.820 No.

01:52:00.260 inconclusive

01:52:04.120 do you think

01:52:06.320 you will ever get back on Google

01:52:08.080 preferred no

01:52:09.040 true

01:52:12.260 dang

01:52:13.900 I mean 0.97

01:52:15.260 I know I know that's shitty 0.98

01:52:17.560 are you 0.95

01:52:18.560 are you a fan of our

01:52:21.940 private chef Katie's cooking

01:52:23.840 yeah

01:52:24.760 I need you to answer yes and no

01:52:27.760 are you a fan of our private

01:52:30.160 Chef Katie's cooking

01:52:31.140 Yes

01:52:31.800 True

01:52:32.280 I love Chef Katie

01:52:34.180 Who doesn't 0.96

01:52:35.060 Okay 1.00

01:52:35.360 She's a fucking gem 1.00

01:52:36.880 Chef Katie 1.00

01:52:39.020 Yeah

01:52:39.520 I'm gonna turn the heat up

01:52:42.120 A little bit

01:52:42.640 Hollywood life

01:52:45.260 And also

01:52:46.080 Ali Stagnita's here

01:52:48.000 Yeah yeah

01:52:48.360 Ali Stagnita's here

01:52:49.600 Can we show Ali Stagnita

01:52:50.600 I should be asking these questions

01:52:51.980 Oh I agree

01:52:52.880 You have a much better voice

01:52:53.920 I like listening to your voice

01:52:55.600 He's not prettier

01:52:55.940 That's a fact

01:52:57.220 That's a huge fact

01:52:58.280 You really are

01:52:59.140 Did you

01:53:02.640 No it's a fact

01:53:04.760 Huge fact 0.60

01:53:05.320 Did you have sex 0.95

01:53:07.200 With more than 0.97

01:53:08.640 Three girls

01:53:09.620 While you were in Sweden

01:53:10.500 No

01:53:12.200 That's a lie

01:53:14.160 Wow

01:53:17.280 It's not inclusive

01:53:19.920 You're so

01:53:20.360 Okay

01:53:21.400 Hey this thing's pretty good bro

01:53:23.080 Okay

01:53:24.300 Oh god

01:53:25.700 Logan 1.00

01:53:26.820 Would you suck a dick 1.00

01:53:29.940 To save Spencer's life 1.00

01:53:31.940 I hate to ask this

01:53:38.080 Hold on

01:53:38.480 You had to do it though

01:53:39.840 Hold on

01:53:40.200 I need to let this one

01:53:41.040 Really sink

01:53:41.800 Alright wait

01:53:45.220 Hold on

01:53:45.700 Oh

01:53:46.080 Yo

01:53:46.660 My body feels

01:53:48.100 It's about to seize up

01:53:48.900 Go again

01:53:49.240 Wait yeah wait wait

01:53:50.180 Mike say that one more time 1.00

01:53:51.480 Would you suck a dick 1.00

01:53:53.960 To save Spencer's life 1.00

01:53:55.860 Yeah

01:53:56.600 True 0.99

01:53:58.160 That's fucking friendship 0.99

01:54:02.840 That's my boy 1.00

01:54:05.120 That was a little

01:54:07.460 One too many that's my boy

01:54:09.260 I'm sorry

01:54:11.440 What if they're really your boy

01:54:13.260 He's my boy

01:54:14.540 I'm gonna ask this as frank as possible

01:54:19.560 Do you have 0.91

01:54:21.360 A sex addiction

01:54:22.740 No

01:54:23.680 A big lie

01:54:26.580 Oh my god

01:54:30.100 This is really bad for you

01:54:31.360 He said a big lie

01:54:32.500 This is bad for

01:54:33.260 How can you tell the size

01:54:34.980 John it was off the scale

01:54:36.420 How can you tell the size of the lie

01:54:37.680 It's peaking

01:54:38.060 It's a big lie dude

01:54:39.920 Looking at it and it's peaking

01:54:41.160 Yeah

01:54:41.500 If any

01:54:42.260 By the way if any sex doctors or anything are watching this

01:54:45.140 Reach out

01:54:45.540 Let's talk about it

01:54:46.400 I think that should be our next guest after this

01:54:48.100 Well not

01:54:48.820 Hold on

01:54:49.800 Let me clarify a little bit

01:54:51.040 I genuinely don't think that

01:54:53.100 All right

01:54:54.020 What is this

01:54:55.000 What does this make you think of

01:54:56.380 What does that make you think of

01:54:58.620 What does that make you think of

01:54:59.540 Nipples 0.99

01:55:01.160 We're addicted bro

01:55:02.520 What does this make you think of 1.00

01:55:04.380 Fuck bro 1.00

01:55:06.480 I don't like this 1.00

01:55:07.280 Okay

01:55:08.500 Bro

01:55:09.040 Why do I agree to this bro

01:55:10.420 So you're telling me I do

01:55:11.240 Are you

01:55:12.500 Are

01:55:13.120 I got some good ones here

01:55:15.400 And I feel like this is probably

01:55:16.140 The best segment of the show

01:55:16.960 So I'm gonna run it through

01:55:17.700 Is that cool

01:55:18.100 Okay

01:55:18.880 Are you planning on storming Area 51

01:55:21.540 On September 20th

01:55:22.580 No

01:55:23.500 True

01:55:24.660 Okay, here we go 0.92

01:55:26.040 Are you secretly dating an Instagram butt model by the name of Daisy Keech? 0.95

01:55:33.360 No 0.88

01:55:33.920 Why?

01:55:37.900 It's a big lie 1.00

01:55:38.940 Oh shit 1.00

01:55:39.800 Oh my god 1.00

01:55:40.260 That's the biggest lie yet

01:55:41.640 You're lying

01:55:42.960 It's off the charts

01:55:44.440 Oh my god

01:55:45.380 Wow, it really is

01:55:46.460 All the other lies are this and that one's this

01:55:48.800 That's a big one 1.00

01:55:49.940 Holy shit 0.99

01:55:50.820 We are covering some ground here 0.99

01:55:52.420 Wow

01:55:53.060 But this is like

01:55:54.260 But this is like

01:55:55.880 Sort of news to me too

01:55:58.520 Like I'm like wow

01:55:59.300 Like I'm lying

01:55:59.920 Like maybe I'm

01:56:00.960 Maybe I have a skewed

01:56:02.060 Version of reality

01:56:02.880 That's what this is telling me

01:56:04.100 Yeah it's uncovering

01:56:04.840 Is that possible

01:56:05.520 Of course 1.00

01:56:06.800 Oh fuck 1.00

01:56:08.720 Well it's just like weird 1.00

01:56:09.800 Cause I mean like

01:56:10.960 Nevermind

01:56:11.700 Alright

01:56:12.140 No no nevermind

01:56:13.220 Okay a couple more

01:56:15.100 Do you think

01:56:16.620 I could expose you

01:56:18.640 Do

01:56:19.180 I'm not gonna do that

01:56:20.820 No

01:56:21.060 I'm not gonna do that

01:56:22.160 Why is Jake in such an expose mood today?

01:56:24.060 No, no, no, no. 1.00

01:56:24.920 Do you think Sierra Skye... 1.00

01:56:26.980 I'm just trying to boost the ratings. 0.91

01:56:28.200 Do you think Sierra Skye is the hottest girl on Instagram right now? 0.94

01:56:34.860 So many pretty girls. 0.98

01:56:35.900 No. 1.00

01:56:36.500 I'm going to need just a one-word answer. 0.98

01:56:38.040 Do you think Sierra Skye is the hottest girl on Instagram right now? 0.70

01:56:40.800 No.

01:56:41.860 True.

01:56:43.420 So many pretty girls. 0.99

01:56:44.880 Okay, two big ones now.

01:56:46.680 are you still in love with chloe bennett

01:56:53.400 that's a great question

01:56:56.780 crowd loves this i'm gonna i'm gonna ask it again are you still in love with chloe bennett

01:57:05.480 no no you will not keep you're trying to spike the system and you're gonna you're gonna get

01:57:10.220 the question you're gonna answer it directly are you still in love with chloe bennett

01:57:15.980 No

01:57:17.860 True 1.00

01:57:20.900 Holy shit 0.99

01:57:24.060 I was holding my breath 0.99

01:57:25.040 For that one

01:57:25.620 Wow

01:57:25.960 That's deep

01:57:26.800 That's deep

01:57:28.040 Big difference between love

01:57:29.800 And being in love

01:57:30.700 You know what I'm saying

01:57:31.120 Love the girl

01:57:32.440 But I think we're both

01:57:33.740 Like you know

01:57:34.520 We love each other

01:57:35.400 You don't need an explanation

01:57:36.680 I'm a selfish cloud chaser 1.00

01:57:37.720 I don't know what the fuck 1.00

01:57:38.380 You're talking about 1.00

01:57:38.860 Alright

01:57:39.760 Finally

01:57:40.880 Logan wants me to ask

01:57:43.900 This one

01:57:44.100 I was gonna skip it

01:57:45.540 Is

01:57:49.260 Jake Paul

01:57:50.940 In love

01:57:51.840 With Tana Mongeau

01:57:53.340 No

01:57:59.780 That's a lie

01:58:02.620 Wow

01:58:04.220 Jana's real

01:58:04.940 July 28th

01:58:05.980 Wow

01:58:06.080 July 28th

01:58:07.100 You're really in love

01:58:08.140 Save the date

01:58:08.300 Wow

01:58:08.820 It's gonna be live streamed

01:58:09.900 It's gonna be a live wedding

01:58:10.740 Just like this episode

01:58:11.760 July 28th

01:58:12.500 Save the date

01:58:12.920 Jana's real 1.00

01:58:13.480 Fuck you 1.00

01:58:14.020 Wow 1.00

01:58:14.460 He made me look stupid for the last one, yo. 1.00

01:58:17.900 Can we do an impulsive at the wedding? 1.00

01:58:21.700 That'd be hilarious. 1.00

01:58:22.840 Wow, I feel like a moron right now, dude. 0.99

01:58:25.340 Do you have any more? 0.99

01:58:25.900 Is that it?

01:58:26.400 No, that's it, dude.

01:58:27.060 Okay, great, because I broke the machine.

01:58:28.860 Wow, thanks, John.

01:58:29.960 Thanks, John. 0.97

01:58:31.040 Wow, dude, I feel dumb.

01:58:32.920 John, you were great.

01:58:34.120 Thank you.

01:58:34.700 Thank you, brother.

01:58:36.120 So that's actually interesting, bro, because I'm really going to take what I've learned

01:58:41.540 in this and

01:58:42.540 activate. I'm going to act. Crazy.

01:58:46.300 Like you might be right

01:58:47.500 what you've been saying.

01:58:49.760 Well, I mean, listen. I tend

01:58:51.520 to be right sometimes. It's true. Not all

01:58:53.540 the time. It's true. John, there are

01:58:55.520 so many wires here.

01:58:57.220 Can we really quickly, can we do Cloud Chaser

01:58:59.560 too? We covered Selfish. Can we just

01:59:01.380 quickly cover it? Jake, I got

01:59:03.500 to hear this. Here's why.

01:59:05.480 Can you name the one person you hang out with

01:59:07.540 that doesn't have a big following?

01:59:09.560 Just name one person. You can't

01:59:11.500 say me because my following is just going straight up right now.

01:59:13.780 But the question is skewed because the only

01:59:15.640 people Mike knows are people with

01:59:17.580 followings because he's in the circle of

01:59:19.460 LA. Tav. I love Tav.

01:59:22.060 That's a cloud chase though.

01:59:23.320 By the way, everyone in LA

01:59:25.220 has a huge following.

01:59:27.020 That's not true at all. I mean, look around this

01:59:29.240 room. Most of the people in this

01:59:31.340 room have huge followers. Katie Bell's in the 0.99

01:59:33.320 back. She's got, what, 1.4 million? 1.00

01:59:35.120 It's a skewed question. Even Hayden,

01:59:37.100 our British editor, has got a large following.

01:59:40.160 I mean, I don't...

01:59:40.800 It's LA, you could shoot a fish in a barrel and that fish would have a large following

01:59:44.820 and probably a blue check.

01:59:46.640 Jake, I think we've, I want to fix this.

01:59:49.580 I want to, you may not want to.

01:59:50.900 But also, who in my life do I come for like this?

01:59:56.780 You've come for me before one time and you were proven wrong.

02:00:00.680 I wasn't, by the way.

02:00:01.540 Do you remember that?

02:00:02.380 Yes, and I was not proven wrong.

02:00:05.000 You seem to be in a pretty chill spot right now, dude.

02:00:07.440 You do the most to split me and my brother up.

02:00:10.280 It's so apparent

02:00:11.340 I'll be honest with you

02:00:13.560 I joke with you

02:00:16.040 And you come back with real emotion

02:00:17.420 My comeback on that one

02:00:19.080 And by the way, he pushed me to do that

02:00:21.220 He pushed me to do that

02:00:22.580 He's laughing, I should have asked him

02:00:25.500 I said I do not want to do this

02:00:27.600 He presented me with the joke

02:00:29.360 And I said sure we're here

02:00:30.560 The back and forth is getting aggressive

02:00:33.480 Sure we're here

02:00:34.200 And also like

02:00:35.060 I think it's one thing for me to say 1.00

02:00:38.480 Mike you ride Logan's dick 1.00

02:00:40.740 And then for you to come back 1.00

02:00:41.880 And be like

02:00:42.440 Jake you don't have any friends bro

02:00:45.980 Where are your best friends

02:00:47.540 That you grew up with

02:00:49.620 I am sorry

02:00:52.080 And I am sorry

02:00:53.760 And I mean that

02:00:54.600 Not a fake sorry

02:00:55.540 And you don't have to accept it once again

02:00:57.020 But let me say this really quickly

02:00:59.200 You don't need to say sorry by the way

02:01:00.380 I'm not bothered

02:01:01.840 I am telling you

02:01:04.980 I'm telling you what you're doing wrong

02:01:08.160 I want to touch on this one last thing

02:01:10.900 You said you do the most to split me and my brother up

02:01:14.020 The one thing I want to say is this

02:01:15.300 In the nicest possible way

02:01:17.120 There's not one point of my day

02:01:19.460 Where you cross my mind

02:01:21.880 Where I'm like yo I want Logan and Jake

02:01:23.720 To not be 0.98

02:01:24.140 That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my entire life 0.97

02:01:26.280 All I want is you guys to be friends 0.99

02:01:28.360 Or to be brothers

02:01:29.240 We can probably do that huh don't you think

02:01:30.920 Yeah subscribe to Jake and Logan

02:01:33.040 Alright listen bro really I do want to settle this another time

02:01:36.080 We got our main guest he's standing by

02:01:37.720 He's got a tray with water on it

02:01:39.700 I'm going to church

02:01:41.100 I love you Jake

02:01:42.680 Church on Wednesdays

02:01:45.540 Live on Sundays

02:01:46.560 You guys have waited for this moment

02:01:48.520 For what's got to be two hours now

02:01:51.100 Dylan you're pointing at me

02:01:52.580 And then you're doing the one

02:01:53.740 Look 1.00

02:01:55.500 Colson's a fucking boy bro 1.00

02:01:57.400 I'm pretty sure I can bring him in 1.00

02:01:58.800 Unless you want me to do it a certain way 1.00

02:02:00.140 Fucking machine gun Kelly 0.99

02:02:03.100 Let's go dude 1.00

02:02:04.120 100 yeah

02:02:06.580 What was it?

02:02:07.340 MGK

02:02:07.580 Yo, good to see you here, bro

02:02:08.760 What up, G?

02:02:09.640 We got special sound effects

02:02:10.600 Yeah, ready for this? 1.00

02:02:11.780 Throw those on so you can hear this shit 1.00

02:02:13.100 It's incredible 1.00

02:02:15.080 MGK

02:02:16.700 That's a nice, Jack

02:02:17.580 Dude, does that make you feel any certain way?

02:02:19.560 I know that voice 1.00

02:02:20.220 Oh, shit 1.00

02:02:21.380 Whoa, whoa 1.00

02:02:22.260 I saw them hug

02:02:23.560 I saw them hug when I came in

02:02:24.440 Oh, you know her?

02:02:25.100 Yeah, after that

02:02:25.580 You know her?

02:02:26.240 Jesus

02:02:26.560 No, no, no

02:02:27.280 No, it's no problem

02:02:28.080 How are you?

02:02:29.180 Colson, bro 0.99

02:02:29.660 Good to fucking see you 0.98

02:02:30.740 Good to see you 0.98

02:02:31.380 And thank you for coming on

02:02:32.260 Episode 100 of Impulsive

02:02:33.280 Thank you

02:02:33.780 Congratulations on that

02:02:35.020 Thank you, bro

02:02:35.540 I see the balloons

02:02:36.100 Didn't think we'd make it here.

02:02:37.080 Yeah, 100.

02:02:38.300 Kind of just happened, man.

02:02:39.920 I have a question.

02:02:40.540 Are you a rock star or are you a rapper?

02:02:44.200 Because you strike me as both.

02:02:47.020 Give me both.

02:02:48.040 Yeah?

02:02:48.440 Yeah.

02:02:48.860 Give me both.

02:02:50.000 Well, have there been rappers that become rock stars?

02:02:53.840 Because even just the way you're dressed right now is extreme.

02:02:57.120 It's rock star vibes.

02:02:59.300 Thanks. 0.99

02:02:59.620 um yeah i i i think it's just the amount of fuck you don't give that makes you a rock star i don't 0.97

02:03:09.380 really think it even it's like the clothes and stuff i think it's just like if you're like purely 0.99

02:03:13.600 you then you're a fucking rock star and that's that's what you are yeah i've seen you headbutt 0.97

02:03:20.160 dudes he was in it was in your music video for uh was it loco yeah why'd you headbutt that guy 0.99

02:03:26.320 um he uh i there was there was no way to get to the stage that i was satisfied with so i

02:03:34.320 thought for my intro i'd be cool to just like crowd surf from the back of the crowd in front

02:03:38.280 of the crowd okay and uh but when i got on stage like the guy thought i was like a fan

02:03:42.380 so he hand me up like right on the intro of this of the show oh no i was like it was like we were 0.97

02:03:48.320 just exchanging words he couldn't fucking hear me so i was just like fuck it did you ever do 0.96

02:03:52.740 that before is that the first time you ever headbutted somebody um that's a yeah that was 0.98

02:03:58.600 the first like calculated head oh yeah how'd it feel like i was just uh because i he i couldn't

02:04:03.480 move my arm oh you were you were cuffed up i was i was yeah so i was just like i i you know three 0.89

02:04:08.760 two i was i knew i was gonna fucking headbutt you get him with the front or the top it's supposed 0.99

02:04:12.140 to be the top yeah right the crown of your head otherwise you could fuck yourself up i don't know 0.99

02:04:16.220 i remember he like left in an ambulance i'm not gonna lie bro a headbutt in a fight could be the 0.98

02:04:22.160 Most badass thing

02:04:23.140 In the world 0.90

02:04:23.780 Fists are cool 1.00

02:04:24.600 But a fucking headbutt 1.00

02:04:25.600 Hell yeah 1.00

02:04:26.000 And I'm glad

02:04:26.740 I'm glad you did that

02:04:27.680 So

02:04:28.080 So why

02:04:29.380 Why do you

02:04:30.360 Cause now we have

02:04:31.360 Something to talk about

02:04:31.940 Why do you not give 0.97

02:04:32.860 Any fucks 0.93

02:04:33.380 For what reason 0.99

02:04:34.100 Have you run out

02:04:35.060 Cause I was like

02:04:37.880 This is like a 0.99

02:04:38.460 Fucking simulation 1.00

02:04:39.480 Like 0.99

02:04:39.880 I mean like

02:04:41.400 These opinions

02:04:43.100 Don't carry on

02:04:44.100 Past the point of

02:04:46.300 You know

02:04:46.920 When we die

02:04:47.480 Like who cares

02:04:48.240 What everyone thinks

02:04:49.080 Do you think

02:04:49.500 Too many people 0.99

02:04:50.260 Give too many fucks 0.99

02:04:51.760 Yeah but that's okay 1.00

02:04:53.420 You need those

02:04:53.940 You need some sheep

02:04:55.380 Sheep

02:04:56.640 Are you talking

02:04:57.380 What's the simulation

02:04:58.360 7pm belly button

02:04:59.660 We're talking machine gun 0.99

02:05:00.660 Fucking Kelly dude 1.00

02:05:01.480 You say a belly button 1.00

02:05:02.540 Yeah but yeah 1.00

02:05:02.960 Pierce the fucking belly button 1.00

02:05:03.980 Let's not 1.00

02:05:04.380 Yeah yeah

02:05:04.760 I say that like

02:05:07.040 I know what's going on

02:05:07.720 What's going on 0.99

02:05:08.320 I don't fucking know 0.99

02:05:09.240 Logan's getting his belly button pierced 1.00

02:05:10.980 Is this stupid 1.00

02:05:11.580 Are you fucking joking 1.00

02:05:12.560 Is that dumb 1.00

02:05:13.080 That seems kind of fucking dumb 1.00

02:05:14.680 Like how about a nipple 1.00

02:05:15.500 Or is it rock star status 0.97

02:05:17.560 Dog I have no piercings

02:05:19.360 I've never gotten anything pierced 1.00

02:05:20.500 Is this stupid 1.00

02:05:21.140 I think it's rock stars 1.00

02:05:23.040 This is awesome

02:05:24.380 Get it in

02:05:26.020 How are we doing this?

02:05:27.940 You want one of these or what?

02:05:30.320 Do you?

02:05:30.820 Yeah

02:05:31.060 Let's go

02:05:31.480 Wait let me get that bottom cup

02:05:33.260 Let's go champ

02:05:33.840 Can I get that?

02:05:34.900 Well you weren't sipping lean

02:05:36.220 Potentially here 1.00

02:05:38.480 Good shit 0.99

02:05:39.160 Let's get this going bro 1.00

02:05:40.340 Let's go

02:05:40.760 No no I got you

02:05:41.760 Want tequila? 1.00

02:05:43.900 Damn 1.00

02:05:44.300 Dentist cup 1.00

02:05:45.160 That's a healthy pour

02:05:46.040 That's a real healthy pour

02:05:47.240 That's like when you know the bartender

02:05:48.920 Cheers boys

02:05:49.820 Cheers

02:05:50.300 Cheers Spencer

02:05:51.280 It's a really

02:05:53.840 Really weird

02:05:54.800 Pearson you're getting 0.97

02:05:55.680 Yeah it's weird as fuck 0.99

02:05:56.700 Yo where'd you learn 0.98

02:05:57.440 How to rebound

02:05:58.040 I saw you

02:05:59.860 Oh yeah

02:06:00.360 We played basketball together

02:06:01.400 You know how to 0.97

02:06:01.880 Fucking rebound bro 1.00

02:06:03.120 The streets bitch 1.00

02:06:04.200 Yeah 1.00

02:06:04.760 Of Cleveland bro

02:06:06.840 Which I want to talk about

02:06:07.660 Yeah

02:06:07.920 He grew up with LeBron James

02:06:09.580 Yeah

02:06:10.000 And you won

02:06:11.020 Your team won last night right

02:06:12.020 Yeah

02:06:12.780 Must be nice bro

02:06:13.540 Who do you think 0.99

02:06:13.960 Fucked over the black team 0.99

02:06:14.960 The 1.00

02:06:15.760 The other

02:06:17.560 The other team

02:06:18.220 T.O.

02:06:19.800 T.O. is a ball hop.

02:06:21.060 No, but T.O. is a beast.

02:06:22.400 What piercing am I getting? 0.64

02:06:23.760 Belly.

02:06:26.120 But this is it?

02:06:27.000 What did we choose?

02:06:27.620 An anchor? 1.00

02:06:29.660 Yeah, it's because this is dumb. 1.00

02:06:30.760 Is this dumb? 1.00

02:06:32.440 Why am I doing this? 0.99

02:06:33.760 It's not dumb. 0.68

02:06:34.740 Oh, it has a blue, that's cute.

02:06:38.280 It has a blue stone in it.

02:06:40.200 It's because Logan was a pirate in a past life.

02:06:42.660 We had a psychic medium on.

02:06:44.400 He was a pirate.

02:06:44.940 Yeah, it was a swashbuckler, apparently.

02:06:47.060 What is a swashbuckler?

02:06:48.400 It's like a plank walker.

02:06:49.660 Can you imagine walking the plank? 1.00

02:06:52.060 What a shit way to die. 1.00

02:06:53.540 All right, let's do this. 1.00

02:06:54.500 Yeah!

02:06:55.360 Yep.

02:06:57.940 This is such a weird segment.

02:06:59.880 I'm sorry you had to be here.

02:07:01.440 And whose idea was it to do it while MGK was here?

02:07:03.940 I think it'd be interesting to have this.

02:07:05.620 Oh, you're warming it.

02:07:06.940 Is your belly button pierced?

02:07:08.380 Do you have a lot of things pierced? 0.88

02:07:09.780 No, I pierced my nipple myself when I was in seventh grade.

02:07:13.680 Hard? 0.98

02:07:14.180 That didn't go good.

02:07:15.740 How'd you do it?

02:07:16.700 Cork and needle?

02:07:17.420 No, I would do like ice key of the needle.

02:07:18.940 Ice Cube a safety pin

02:07:20.420 I'm assuming there's no piercing there now 1.00

02:07:22.760 You completely tatted your nipples 1.00

02:07:24.780 Didn't you? 1.00

02:07:26.000 They're all black 0.97

02:07:27.240 Do they still function? 1.00

02:07:30.860 What's the function of a nipple? 0.97

02:07:32.740 I mean

02:07:33.140 If you can't ask

02:07:35.520 You don't deserve to know

02:07:37.000 How does it feel to be the only person clapping 1.00

02:07:40.920 And being a fucking dude 0.99

02:07:43.420 Producer of the show 1.00

02:07:44.620 God dang it

02:07:46.760 He's bringing the energy

02:07:47.500 He's bringing the vibes

02:07:48.920 Mr. Prick

02:07:53.320 That's kind of ironic

02:07:56.340 How bad does the belly button hurt

02:08:00.380 When you get it pierced

02:08:01.200 I don't know too sure

02:08:02.680 Because I haven't had it

02:08:03.600 This was your idea bro

02:08:08.980 This was your idea

02:08:10.940 No belly button piercing 1.00

02:08:12.160 Someone suggested my nipple 0.92

02:08:15.280 But my nipples don't get hard like that 0.98

02:08:17.140 They just don't 0.96

02:08:18.400 People make fun of me because they're really pink too

02:08:21.260 My whole life

02:08:22.580 How'd you end up with those pink pancakes

02:08:24.280 Just life bro

02:08:25.320 Hey how long is this going to take Mr. Prick

02:08:27.560 Not that long 1.00

02:08:28.360 Oh gosh this is so fucking stupid bro 1.00

02:08:32.380 On live 1.00

02:08:33.340 This is rough

02:08:33.960 Oh here he goes

02:08:38.300 Hey Jeff

02:08:41.900 Do you have to heat something up

02:08:43.260 I got some big special guests out front

02:08:45.460 Can you grab them

02:08:46.260 Father in

02:08:49.260 Brutal he's marking you up right now

02:09:05.260 What's the what are the implications of that god, that's it fatal. Yeah lethal no more button

02:09:12.900 Never know when you're gonna need a functional belly button 1.00

02:09:16.260 How many 1.00

02:09:21.180 Hey

02:09:21.500 If you're a girl

02:09:22.440 We got someone here 1.00

02:09:23.560 How many girls 1.00

02:09:24.300 Have their belly button pierced? 1.00

02:09:26.620 Four

02:09:27.060 Four including George

02:09:27.840 Four including George

02:09:29.360 Does it hurt?

02:09:31.360 She says it doesn't hurt

02:09:32.400 Nikita says it hurts

02:09:33.640 I have two exact

02:09:34.580 Opposite opinions

02:09:35.320 Alright

02:09:36.640 Oof 1.00

02:09:37.200 Fuck 1.00

02:09:37.780 Wow we got a new 1.00

02:09:38.580 We got another guest watching too

02:09:40.300 Yeah how can I

02:09:43.280 Right here

02:09:44.040 oh my god you can see it you got it andre oh wow i wonder what would hurt more piercing 0.99

02:10:02.400 your belly button or getting a tat no it's not it's coming i fucking guess bro yeah 0.99

02:10:11.520 What's going on here? 1.00

02:10:17.100 Can I hold it?

02:10:24.060 By the way, this is the dude I was talking about.

02:10:25.800 I hang out with you.

02:10:26.280 How many followers you got?

02:10:27.160 Hey, Mike, here it goes.

02:10:29.580 That's my homie, bro. 0.99

02:10:30.660 He ain't got no fucking clout. 0.99

02:10:32.160 What's good, Jake? 0.99

02:10:33.900 Oh, here it comes.

02:10:35.040 Here we go. 1.00

02:10:35.580 Come watch the shit. 1.00

02:10:36.640 Here we go. 1.00

02:10:37.720 Here we go.

02:10:38.620 Come right here.

02:10:40.360 Ooh. 0.98

02:10:41.520 that hurts so fucking bad 0.97

02:10:48.320 I'm too afraid to do anything 0.97

02:10:50.020 that hurts so bad

02:10:51.080 I'm in a lot of pain right now

02:10:52.640 don't look at it

02:10:53.080 don't look at it

02:10:53.820 look at it

02:10:55.940 why would anyone ever do this

02:10:58.400 more importantly why did you get an anchor dude

02:11:00.300 bro this is horrible

02:11:02.000 I don't know

02:11:03.460 is this the first time Banks is on the show

02:11:06.500 talk here Banks

02:11:08.020 what are the odds

02:11:09.640 Yeah, the blue jewel really really caps it off. Hey, Mr. Prick ladies and gentlemen

02:11:39.640 Thanks, bro. Thank you. Thank you

02:11:51.360 You gotta wear it for a week a one week standard is it gonna get infected? Otherwise, okay, we've we've replaced Mike with banks

02:12:02.640 Good to see you kills good to see you. You're out of pocket, sir

02:12:06.100 I'm sorry that had to happen while you were here

02:12:09.240 It's okay

02:12:09.560 How recent is this tattoo?

02:12:12.320 You got a tattoo on the back here

02:12:13.360 Oh yeah

02:12:13.780 You got Hotel Diablo

02:12:14.660 Hotel Diablo

02:12:15.160 That's looking good man

02:12:16.720 About a month in on that one

02:12:17.880 Month in?

02:12:18.320 Yeah

02:12:18.460 Is your hair going to grow back?

02:12:20.200 Is the hair going to grow back?

02:12:21.080 I don't know, I keep shaving it

02:12:21.900 I was going to say, you have to keep shaving it

02:12:23.460 That's a good look

02:12:24.440 That's a good look

02:12:25.260 Everyone thinks I got a microchip back there

02:12:27.060 I don't think he has a microchip now

02:12:29.680 I know, bro

02:12:30.400 What's good?

02:12:31.120 Did you hear that?

02:12:31.720 What's good?

02:12:32.260 Did you hear this?

02:12:32.940 I don't know

02:12:33.140 Yo, but

02:12:33.640 Did you hear this?

02:12:34.460 He took a lie detector test 1.00

02:12:36.280 And he was asked if he had a micro penis 0.99

02:12:39.280 And it's confirmed 1.00

02:12:40.760 He has a micro penis 1.00

02:12:42.800 How are you dealing with that? 1.00

02:12:44.940 I think I'm going to be alright

02:12:46.360 Bro, that's rough 0.73

02:12:47.940 I could have smashed him twice 1.00

02:12:50.300 I could have sworn I didn't have a micro penis 1.00

02:12:52.360 He gave me a second chance 0.99

02:12:53.640 And generally I didn't think so

02:12:55.300 Are you a grower?

02:12:55.980 I am a grower

02:12:56.440 Maybe right now it looks a little

02:12:57.960 I am a grower

02:12:58.540 I'm a grower too

02:12:59.840 Yeah bro

02:13:00.380 I feel like most dudes are

02:13:01.820 I feel you

02:13:03.200 I kind of want him to ask me on the show

02:13:04.440 with the lie detector

02:13:05.640 he's intense

02:13:06.620 but he doesn't smile

02:13:07.260 he's never smiled in his life

02:13:08.280 yeah

02:13:08.720 I don't know about that

02:13:09.220 he does it for everyone

02:13:10.060 that guy's been to my house

02:13:11.040 has he really

02:13:12.040 yeah he did

02:13:12.560 you did a lie detector test

02:13:13.960 was it that dude

02:13:14.600 dude I was on mushrooms

02:13:16.960 on that lie detector test

02:13:17.980 I swear to god

02:13:18.980 that whole press day

02:13:21.060 of the dirt

02:13:21.660 was Pete too

02:13:22.760 yeah Pete

02:13:23.020 me and Pete

02:13:23.520 were both on mushrooms

02:13:24.460 that whole thing

02:13:25.180 how are you about to

02:13:25.960 get that smoke

02:13:26.880 of being on mushrooms

02:13:28.100 and taking a lie detector test

02:13:29.800 dude I don't know

02:13:30.560 what we were doing

02:13:31.740 but it was just a

02:13:33.220 yeah

02:13:33.820 I don't know

02:13:34.720 In the moment decision

02:13:36.340 But as soon as we sat down

02:13:37.460 And he hooked it up

02:13:38.200 We

02:13:38.380 Like that was right

02:13:39.120 When it started peaking

02:13:40.240 We were like 0.98

02:13:40.740 Damn 0.98

02:13:42.000 Y'all did good 1.00

02:13:42.900 You could not

02:13:43.260 You couldn't tell

02:13:43.820 Yeah yeah yeah

02:13:44.420 We held it together

02:13:45.100 Mushrooms are the new thing

02:13:46.180 Huh

02:13:46.400 Yeah

02:13:46.960 Mushrooms

02:13:47.600 Yeah I gave you guys

02:13:48.520 I was gonna say

02:13:49.180 You've administered me shrooms

02:13:50.480 Before

02:13:51.160 In the form of chocolate

02:13:53.220 Yeah

02:13:53.680 Chocolate 0.95

02:13:54.500 Your brother was tripping balls 0.96

02:13:56.340 Dude 0.99

02:13:56.620 No my brother doesn't do drugs

02:13:57.960 Oh sorry sorry sorry

02:13:59.520 No wait

02:14:00.280 Do you want a full one

02:14:01.200 He said your brother

02:14:03.600 Yo, this is...

02:14:04.440 Me?

02:14:05.720 My brother?

02:14:08.340 Yeah.

02:14:09.260 Are you on Shrooms right now?

02:14:10.360 No, no, no, no.

02:14:11.700 No, no, I'm not.

02:14:12.700 No, it's all good.

02:14:14.000 That birthday party was crazy. 0.98

02:14:15.420 When Marilyn Manson came up to you and gave you a dildo shape like him? 0.98

02:14:18.200 Yeah, that was awesome. 0.92

02:14:18.960 What happened?

02:14:19.740 Why did that happen?

02:14:20.380 He stuck it on the wall and people came up to it and touched it.

02:14:23.320 Do you still have that?

02:14:24.320 Yeah, we...

02:14:24.880 Yeah.

02:14:25.300 That was a weird party, bro.

02:14:26.520 That was weird.

02:14:27.040 It was...

02:14:27.400 Is this on?

02:14:28.220 Yeah, it was on.

02:14:28.920 It was him, Tommy Lee.

02:14:30.680 Who else was in that crowd?

02:14:32.040 There was a lot of...

02:14:32.740 Jay was there.

02:14:33.580 Yeah, a lot of people were there. 0.99

02:14:33.980 Like, his party pulled out more people than most parties in fucking L.A. 0.98

02:14:38.120 What party is this? 0.99

02:14:38.480 His birthday party. 1.00

02:14:39.660 Did you go to that shit? 1.00

02:14:40.580 No, I had to miss it. 1.00

02:14:41.560 I think we were traveling or something.

02:14:42.940 Oh, yeah.

02:14:43.240 Who was we?

02:14:43.720 We were supposed to.

02:14:44.460 Was Todd there?

02:14:45.420 I think you were there, dude.

02:14:46.520 I wanted to see you there.

02:14:48.260 Todd, was I there?

02:14:48.880 Todd and his brother were there.

02:14:50.520 Todd, was I there?

02:14:51.340 Todd, was I there too?

02:14:52.120 No.

02:14:52.680 What was I doing? 0.99

02:14:53.580 I was fucking up. 0.98

02:14:54.580 I don't know. 1.00

02:14:55.820 I'm on a fucking sick one, man. 0.99

02:14:57.280 That was a good one. 1.00

02:14:58.020 I'm on a sick one right now.

02:14:59.200 Right now you are?

02:15:00.020 Yeah, you just had a pretty hot profile break. Yeah, listen, Tfue sucks. He fucked me over it. Me and Alyssa are broken up. 0.99

02:15:07.700 That's it. I wasn't going to ask about either.

02:15:11.060 You fucking cocksucker. This is why I didn't want to come on. 1.00

02:15:15.540 Mike's a scum. I didn't say shit. Mike is the biggest scum. 1.00

02:15:18.760 No, you can't say that afterwards. Yeah, people are going to come after Mike. 1.00

02:15:21.760 Mike, you're a great, listen, I want to say I do have some clout. Me and Mike are friends.

02:15:26.700 We do hang out regularly and he's a great guy. I consider him an actual real friend

02:15:32.460 We've had some fucking some good nights some good nights and some good days, too 0.88

02:15:50.420 Genuinely would have never started if you were probably you are you're probably right but half the girls we all 0.99

02:15:56.700 Mike, Mike, I have no clout, and you're my boy.

02:15:59.240 Yo, thank you, Tom. 0.99

02:16:00.340 Let's fucking go. 0.99

02:16:01.320 Here's the thing. 1.00

02:16:01.880 Here's the thing.

02:16:02.420 He's my manager.

02:16:03.160 No, but he can get you into clubs, and that's what you care about.

02:16:06.900 Wait, who lives in your house?

02:16:09.460 Who lives in your house?

02:16:11.080 I'll get your back, Mike.

02:16:11.960 All people with clout.

02:16:13.100 You don't surround yourself with anybody without clout?

02:16:15.340 Not a single person?

02:16:16.480 Even your mom has clout. 0.97

02:16:18.060 You don't have a single person in your life without clout. 0.99

02:16:20.620 So how are you going to fucking come at me? 0.99

02:16:22.260 I do, I do. 0.99

02:16:23.040 Every single, even your dad has clout.

02:16:24.780 Your dog has clout.

02:16:25.660 Everyone in your life has clout

02:16:27.640 So why do you come at me bro

02:16:29.380 I'm just out here trying to make a living in this sad city bro

02:16:32.640 I like people

02:16:34.920 I like being nice 1.00

02:16:36.440 Yo fuck this shit bro 1.00

02:16:38.100 And you're making me cry on my own cold show 1.00

02:16:40.580 How does this happen when we're live bro

02:16:41.920 No I've been trying to like

02:16:43.040 This is the fourth try

02:16:44.460 Jake yo you know I love you

02:16:45.940 Not as much as I do

02:16:47.300 Stop

02:16:48.280 We'll talk about this later

02:16:49.540 Yes please put a pin in it

02:16:50.640 There we go

02:16:51.080 Yo Colson bro I really want to do no because

02:16:53.280 We can't say we're going to talk about it later

02:16:55.260 because later could be in 10 minutes.

02:16:56.640 No, no, stop.

02:16:57.520 We got to just shut that until tomorrow. 0.98

02:16:59.960 You guys should do a whole episode.

02:17:00.660 Bring this dude in, bro. 1.00

02:17:01.860 Bring the main guest up to the fucking place. 1.00

02:17:03.160 Y'all can talk about your shit. 1.00

02:17:04.260 Machine Gun fucking Kelly came on 1.00

02:17:05.760 and somehow we ended up in some... 0.99

02:17:07.440 It's all fine.

02:17:08.840 By the way, crowd, I'm going to fix all of this.

02:17:10.760 I promise.

02:17:11.300 I'm going to fix all of this.

02:17:11.780 Are you on mushrooms right now?

02:17:13.280 No, not today.

02:17:14.440 Not today.

02:17:15.020 Not today.

02:17:15.780 I'm glad.

02:17:17.560 Microdose and mushrooms, by the way, 0.99

02:17:19.160 it's like there's some real science to this shit. 0.99

02:17:21.160 It can help with like depression and anxiety. 1.00

02:17:23.100 It can really fucking reset your shit. 0.99

02:17:24.560 Do you think it can take you too far? 1.00

02:17:26.560 Yeah, you can take anything too far. 0.99

02:17:28.120 If you drink enough water, you can fucking do it. 0.98

02:17:29.540 If you eat too many cheeseburgers, you eat too many burgers. 0.98

02:17:31.960 Doing anything in excess is not great.

02:17:34.760 Absolutely true.

02:17:35.520 13.3 liters of water and you risk drowning.

02:17:39.580 Facts.

02:17:39.880 I'm right there, by the way.

02:17:40.760 Water. 1.00

02:17:40.980 We need that shit to fucking live. 1.00

02:17:43.600 It's a pretty wild world we live in, though. 1.00

02:17:45.560 We got shrooms are decriminalized in Denver, Oakland.

02:17:48.700 Yeah, no. 0.99

02:17:49.540 There's some real shit to that. 0.99

02:17:50.540 The world's changing right now. 1.00

02:17:51.320 Some real shit. 0.99

02:17:51.960 Do you think that's risky? 1.00

02:17:53.500 What's the risk

02:17:54.980 I'm gonna ask

02:17:56.320 I'm gonna ask MGK

02:17:57.500 Is it possible to do

02:17:59.820 Too many drugs

02:18:01.120 Totally

02:18:01.500 I forgot my age before dude

02:18:03.080 You've forgotten your age

02:18:03.860 Name

02:18:04.300 Name

02:18:05.580 Everything

02:18:06.320 But you remember the next thing

02:18:07.440 And I remember being

02:18:08.760 I remember being like

02:18:09.840 How like 0.93

02:18:10.400 I can't fucking believe 0.95

02:18:12.140 Like my life 1.00

02:18:12.700 So I'm stuck in this fucking 1.00

02:18:14.200 Portal 0.99

02:18:15.660 It was

02:18:16.400 Yeah

02:18:16.720 Like yes dude

02:18:17.520 Absolutely like everything

02:18:18.520 The walls melted

02:18:19.340 You ever

02:18:19.700 We called Juicy J

02:18:21.400 And we were free

02:18:22.300 And we were like 0.93

02:18:23.100 the only voice we could fucking hear right now is juicy jay that makes so much sense this is i'm 0.97

02:18:28.680 talking about this is in like 2011 when like juicy jay was like fucking he's back on it the 0.97

02:18:34.220 drug music yeah yeah did he pull you out of it yes he answered the phone i was like where i'm 0.91

02:18:41.180 like fucking help man like where are we he was like it sounds like you're on shroom 0.97

02:18:44.360 And he was just like 0.99

02:18:46.080 We trippy mate

02:18:46.800 And you're like

02:18:47.620 Oh we're back 0.99

02:18:48.520 And they're fucking 0.99

02:18:49.540 Dude like 0.99

02:18:50.220 Yeah

02:18:50.780 Yes absolutely

02:18:52.160 And that's like

02:18:52.980 Coming from me

02:18:53.740 Who has like a tolerance

02:18:54.780 You know what I mean

02:18:55.300 But there's of course

02:18:55.880 It was too much

02:18:56.460 So that was a rough night

02:18:57.700 Just awful

02:18:58.580 That was like

02:18:59.220 Dude that was 5pm 1.00

02:19:00.240 I went on and did a fucking 0.99

02:19:01.480 I went to the improv 0.99

02:19:02.460 And saw Tony Rock

02:19:03.900 Perform later

02:19:05.700 And he called me on stage

02:19:07.520 And made me rap

02:19:08.120 In front of a bunch of people

02:19:09.000 That to me were like 0.98

02:19:09.960 Fucking moving like 1.00

02:19:11.060 Inflatable arm 1.00

02:19:12.140 Hey hey hey

02:19:12.540 How do you do that

02:19:13.480 How do you perform when you're intoxicated?

02:19:16.300 Because I remember when we, I'm just going to say it,

02:19:18.620 when we came to the concert in Cleveland,

02:19:20.440 we were drinking heavily beforehand.

02:19:23.080 Yeah.

02:19:23.360 And then you went on and slayed it for, by the way,

02:19:25.680 like an hour and a half.

02:19:26.880 Can I answer this one? 1.00

02:19:27.680 Because he's a fucking rock star. 1.00

02:19:29.600 That's just how it works? 1.00

02:19:30.280 That's what rock stars do. 0.59

02:19:31.440 Yeah.

02:19:32.420 Am I on point with that?

02:19:33.360 No, you got it.

02:19:35.160 Must be nice, bro.

02:19:36.000 Yeah, I don't know. 1.00

02:19:36.640 I've done a lot of shit. 0.99

02:19:38.180 Do you feel prepared, not now, 0.98

02:19:40.220 but do you feel prepared for the songs you're going to perform tonight?

02:19:42.760 Because we have an audience

02:19:43.680 We have a big audience, bro

02:19:45.660 Do you think you're ready for that?

02:19:46.520 We have a rec basketball league

02:19:47.480 Sitting here

02:19:48.080 And by the way

02:19:49.180 We

02:19:49.340 I showed you

02:19:52.280 We

02:19:52.620 We

02:19:53.520 Did a run through yesterday 1.00

02:19:54.780 It's like a fucking music video 1.00

02:19:56.260 Like I wouldn't be surprised 1.00

02:19:57.040 If this gets clipped

02:19:57.600 All over the internet

02:19:58.220 I'm gonna post it on my IG

02:19:59.420 Follow me

02:19:59.860 At Logan Paul

02:20:00.420 I really wanna pop

02:20:01.600 One of those balloons

02:20:02.220 At some point and hear it

02:20:03.300 Please do

02:20:04.060 Can we get

02:20:05.000 Can we get MGK something sharp? 1.00

02:20:06.780 Yo, we should all suck 1.00

02:20:07.480 Get a giant butcher knife 1.00

02:20:08.640 We should all suck one up 0.99

02:20:09.520 And do like a 0.99

02:20:10.420 Like a helium thing?

02:20:11.260 Oh, with the banana?

02:20:16.080 Nah, I don't know if this is possible.

02:20:18.800 Here's a jewel.

02:20:19.620 There's a jewel.

02:20:21.080 Yo, you're going to eat that banana. 1.00

02:20:22.880 Fuck, I feel so bad. 1.00

02:20:24.100 They're green. 1.00

02:20:25.520 Green bananas are great.

02:20:27.520 There's no way you're going to pop a balloon right now.

02:20:31.540 There's no way. 1.00

02:20:32.300 That's fucking crazy. 1.00

02:20:34.000 That was the worst fucking balloon you could have given him. 1.00

02:20:36.480 These balloons, you've never... 1.00

02:20:37.800 Give him a fucking real balloon. 0.99

02:20:39.260 What are you doing? 1.00

02:20:39.760 Jesus Christ

02:20:41.580 Give him one of those

02:20:42.320 He wants to hear the sound

02:20:43.300 Have you ever stabbed someone?

02:20:45.140 Like, let's

02:20:45.740 That's good

02:20:46.260 Mike, give him one of those balloons

02:20:47.740 There's some personality

02:20:48.740 These balloons don't make sounds

02:20:49.480 Wait, here, Logan, move

02:20:50.320 Go, go, go

02:20:51.280 You got it

02:20:53.520 Legendary

02:20:55.940 Wow

02:20:56.660 Why'd you tell him to move but not me? 1.00

02:20:58.380 What the fuck? 1.00

02:21:00.320 He said, Logan, you fucking threw it right over my face 1.00

02:21:03.140 He said, yo, Logan, move 1.00

02:21:06.080 I love how you did the knife

02:21:07.280 The knife's in the balloon

02:21:07.900 The knife's in the balloon

02:21:08.860 You followed the rules, though.

02:21:12.600 You actually didn't move.

02:21:13.900 Nobody told you.

02:21:14.540 That was good.

02:21:15.200 I was testing your loyalty.

02:21:17.040 Can you imagine?

02:21:17.760 Can you imagine?

02:21:19.120 Pierce Banks in the eye?

02:21:22.200 What's your favorite part about being a rock star?

02:21:25.540 There's got to be one.

02:21:27.700 Can I answer this one, too?

02:21:28.620 I'm just kidding. 1.00

02:21:29.180 Fucking bitches. 1.00

02:21:30.700 Fucking bitches, bro. 1.00

02:21:32.300 Fucking bitches. 1.00

02:21:33.460 Fucking bitches. 1.00

02:21:34.400 Give me another question. 1.00

02:21:36.440 All right.

02:21:37.200 Acting versus music career, bro.

02:21:38.400 you just did a movie

02:21:38.960 called The Dirt

02:21:39.500 which one do you like

02:21:41.160 more

02:21:42.160 I'm happier

02:21:44.420 when I'm doing movies

02:21:46.180 because there's like

02:21:47.020 less

02:21:47.560 baggage

02:21:48.520 because

02:21:49.080 my

02:21:49.720 good music

02:21:50.840 comes from like

02:21:51.420 when I'm like

02:21:51.920 in pain

02:21:53.380 not to be dark

02:21:54.120 but like

02:21:54.520 you know

02:21:55.500 you're genuinely

02:21:56.380 pretty good

02:21:56.920 at the movie stuff too

02:21:57.760 yeah

02:21:58.020 you're really good 0.98

02:21:58.960 you're fucking good at it 0.98

02:22:00.260 like to be honest 0.99

02:22:01.100 like I really

02:22:01.540 I didn't even hear

02:22:02.400 my real name

02:22:03.320 until I was like

02:22:06.240 25, 26

02:22:07.080 years old

02:22:08.020 you know what i mean like my actual name like colson people call me colson like i didn't hear

02:22:11.040 that until i started doing this tv series called on showtime called roadies and like that and like

02:22:15.960 when i heard it it was just like i don't know it just made me like it wasn't like i was like as

02:22:22.600 angry anymore shit like that you know i don't know i don't know if that makes any sense it

02:22:26.060 absolutely does no a lot a lot of artists uh create their art from pain were you in a lot 0.99

02:22:29.800 of pain this last this last album hotel diablo because we've listened to the songs bro it sounded

02:22:33.860 of like you were in some fucked up situations yeah um but i don't i think that's like a baggage

02:22:39.960 for another talk i don't really want to bring that on y'all stuff just because it's yeah i mean

02:22:44.840 it's heavy i don't really want to put that on anybody what was your what was your favorite 0.98

02:22:48.320 role that you acted to date bird box was crazy oh yeah tommy yeah you fucking so sick you did 0.98

02:22:55.520 kill you did Tommy Lee uh when i saw you in bird box though i'm gonna be honest that was 0.98

02:23:02.060 fucking awesome i heard a rumor about that that role what was that what was the role somebody 1.00

02:23:06.680 what was the last what was the rumor did you tell me you're a piece of shit he's actually a piece 1.00

02:23:10.800 of shit wait right you are jake's right ask the question jake's 100 right should i not ask the 1.00

02:23:15.780 question no no go for it you know what he's gonna say yeah i know he heard the rumor from me i want 1.00

02:23:20.100 to know the question oh no i was gonna protect you don't ask don't ask don't ask well here i know

02:23:25.560 No, I know I know what it is watch movie bird box. You can come up with the question on your

02:23:36.480 I told Mike and Mike sucks. No, that's why you like acting acting's happier 0.98

02:23:48.420 for you i said nothing you got any you got any roles coming up that you're excited about yeah

02:23:53.300 i just did one with the pete and judd apatow that was cool what was it just like cameo for

02:23:57.940 for pete's movie that he got um but me and him got one coming called big time adolescence

02:24:01.700 comes like later yeah yeah in theaters wow yeah very cool you're really kind of crushing it with

02:24:08.500 the movie thanks man you're kind of a big deal it's it's hard to do both i'm wondering how you

02:24:14.500 you allocate your time

02:24:15.300 because

02:24:15.700 movies as you know

02:24:17.960 I mean it's like

02:24:18.420 hurry up and wait bro

02:24:19.080 you're on set

02:24:19.460 for 16 hours a day

02:24:20.640 right

02:24:20.880 I mean I went bald

02:24:21.640 for a movie earlier

02:24:22.460 this year 0.78

02:24:22.860 that sucked 0.98

02:24:23.440 what movie 0.98

02:24:24.300 one for Netflix

02:24:25.720 with Jamie Foxx

02:24:26.680 is it already

02:24:27.400 no it doesn't have

02:24:28.140 a title yet

02:24:28.960 or I mean if it does

02:24:29.760 it's not released

02:24:30.360 how they convince you

02:24:31.720 to do that

02:24:32.160 the directors

02:24:33.360 were friends of mine

02:24:34.000 what's up homie

02:24:34.620 I got you

02:24:35.160 Jon Snow dude

02:24:36.800 what's your worst

02:24:37.440 experience filming

02:24:38.200 movies so far

02:24:38.980 like what was

02:24:39.500 the wackest one

02:24:40.140 you did

02:24:40.480 That's a weird

02:24:45.180 That's a hard question

02:24:45.860 I don't know

02:24:46.400 I'm trying to be inclusive

02:24:48.000 No yeah but I have 1.00

02:24:48.980 Fuck you Mike 1.00

02:24:49.920 It's answerable 1.00

02:24:53.240 You know there's some

02:24:53.800 That come to mind

02:24:54.480 I'm sure you have 1.00

02:24:54.980 Some shit experience 1.00

02:24:55.640 Yeah but the movie sucks 0.99

02:24:56.900 So I don't want to say this 0.99

02:24:57.600 I don't want anyone to watch it

02:24:58.980 I'm actually surprised

02:25:01.500 You like acting more bro

02:25:03.140 For me it's the

02:25:03.620 I like music

02:25:04.620 I'm just saying

02:25:05.220 There's pain with music

02:25:05.960 You know there's

02:25:06.420 It's a lot of like

02:25:07.500 I mean like you know

02:25:08.780 Even like now 1.00

02:25:09.460 I'm like oh fuck 0.99

02:25:10.340 The baggage is heavy 1.00

02:25:12.120 But the shit you create is dope 1.00

02:25:13.960 So does that not outweigh 1.00

02:25:15.420 Absolutely it makes other people happy

02:25:16.680 There's probably some pressure too right 1.00

02:25:18.240 Because that's your main shit 0.99

02:25:19.320 I don't have a backup plan 0.99

02:25:21.420 So the movie stuff you're kind of new to it

02:25:24.480 I don't know

02:25:25.940 You just said you don't have a backup plan

02:25:29.100 Can I dive in here a little bit

02:25:30.500 Have you always not had a backup plan

02:25:31.900 I've seen videos of you like 15-16 years old

02:25:34.720 Rapping in high school

02:25:35.320 I think you were bald

02:25:36.780 I think you had your head shaved for some of them

02:25:38.800 and bro you're like

02:25:40.100 nine feet tall

02:25:41.260 super skinny 0.80

02:25:42.020 and a white kid rapping 0.72

02:25:43.480 yeah

02:25:43.800 have you always wanted

02:25:45.380 to be a rapper

02:25:46.400 yeah I mean

02:25:47.100 I wanted to be

02:25:47.580 in like the Air Force

02:25:48.320 I wanted to be

02:25:48.800 a Dragon Ball Z character

02:25:49.840 I wanted to be

02:25:50.620 sick 1.00

02:25:51.440 a fucking boxer 1.00

02:25:53.020 and then I wanted to be 1.00

02:25:53.980 yeah at some point

02:25:54.800 I wanted to be a rock star

02:25:55.920 then I wanted to be a rapper

02:25:56.740 it went in that order

02:25:57.800 and now you're finally doing it

02:25:59.740 except the Dragon Ball Z

02:26:00.480 character was first

02:26:01.060 before the Air Force

02:26:01.640 so you've knocked

02:26:02.960 all those off

02:26:03.660 except the

02:26:04.880 Air Force

02:26:05.680 except the Air Force

02:26:06.700 I am a Dragon Ball Z

02:26:07.660 can you still do the air force i don't think they let you in the air force you'd be a villain for

02:26:11.740 sure no i remember yeah yeah i just remember like i remember being 11 years old and everyone and i

02:26:17.700 was my all the people that stayed on my uh on my street were my friends and there was this one guy

02:26:22.100 who had an older sister who dated a rave dj and this is like early 2000s rave shit so this is

02:26:27.160 like ecstasy hardcore all this stuff like that and i was always like super adamant about not 0.97

02:26:32.240 doing drugs because i was like they test your fucking hair to get in the air force man like 0.93

02:26:36.380 They did that for my fight 0.99

02:26:38.460 But then like

02:26:40.860 A month later we did ecstasy

02:26:42.560 And put pacifiers in 0.99

02:26:43.740 That's what shit changed 0.99

02:26:47.060 Any desire to still join the air force 0.99

02:26:50.900 I've thought about doing some shit like that 0.94

02:26:52.660 I don't know dude 0.99

02:26:53.380 I was on the sketchiest jet ride of my fucking life 0.99

02:26:55.740 The other day to Cleveland 0.99

02:26:57.380 Was it private?

02:26:58.600 It was private

02:26:59.320 In my head dude

02:27:03.080 I was thinking the whole time 0.99

02:27:04.200 If I gotta fucking land 0.99

02:27:05.560 I'm not 0.99

02:27:06.240 because it was

02:27:06.740 you had to step in

02:27:09.000 for the

02:27:09.180 almost had to step in 0.78

02:27:10.100 for the pilot

02:27:10.460 it was a sketchy

02:27:12.560 it was a sketchy flight

02:27:13.320 it was Jamie's

02:27:14.480 it was Jamie's plane

02:27:15.620 Jamie's plane

02:27:16.200 okay

02:27:16.500 that's just scary

02:27:17.860 and what happened

02:27:19.280 he left

02:27:19.780 he got off on the runway

02:27:20.820 this guy

02:27:22.300 he knew

02:27:22.760 he got off on the runway 0.99

02:27:23.740 who fucking knew 0.99

02:27:24.440 Jamie Fox 0.99

02:27:24.920 did he have a feeling

02:27:25.640 did he have a feeling

02:27:26.660 he was saying

02:27:27.600 he had

02:27:27.920 have you considered

02:27:29.080 whatever his reason was

02:27:31.360 I basically was looking though

02:27:34.460 like

02:27:34.740 if he's getting off

02:27:35.940 like

02:27:36.220 something gotta be

02:27:37.800 in the air

02:27:38.900 you know what I mean

02:27:39.360 and you stayed on 1.00

02:27:40.360 what the fuck 1.00

02:27:41.460 you stayed on 1.00

02:27:42.040 you stayed on the plane

02:27:42.720 yes I stayed on

02:27:43.420 that's crazy

02:27:44.000 why would you not get off

02:27:45.540 with Jamie Foxx

02:27:46.060 I told my daughter

02:27:46.900 I was coming home

02:27:47.500 have you considered

02:27:48.660 the fact that maybe

02:27:49.600 Jamie Foxx was trying

02:27:50.700 to set you up

02:27:51.800 it's a good question

02:27:54.340 it's an honest question

02:27:54.900 no he was nice enough

02:27:56.060 to let me on a plane

02:27:56.720 and I'm like yo

02:27:57.280 if a guy I'm flying 1.00

02:27:58.180 gets off the fucking plane 1.00

02:27:59.220 I gotta take a shit 1.00

02:27:59.900 come on bro 1.00

02:28:01.040 you know what I'm saying

02:28:01.680 you don't think I'm thinking 1.00

02:28:02.280 all this shit 0.99

02:28:02.700 that's why I'm telling 1.00

02:28:03.080 the fucking story 0.99

02:28:03.560 was he asleep 1.00

02:28:03.760 before he got 1.00

02:28:04.520 was it like some let me tell the fucking story i'll tell you the whole goddamn thing he fucking 1.00

02:28:08.480 it's it's we get on he fucking gets off or he's like let you know i gotta get up gets off 1.00

02:28:14.940 i look at the other two passengers on the plane i know one of them and the other guy i don't know 0.99

02:28:20.020 i'm looking at the guy i don't know and i'm like are you fucking i'm saying with my eyes like are

02:28:23.240 you thinking what i'm thinking and i look over and the and the guy i know is deva i don't know 0.99

02:28:30.340 if any of you guys know him he said he's sweating balls dude that's why i'm like what are you

02:28:35.600 sweating for and you know it's all it's it's you know he so we're doing it going they close the

02:28:43.240 door and i'm like man this is what happened when you know the guy who sings la bamba yeah he died

02:28:48.420 in a plane crash right after him buddy holly and i think the big bopper and one of the guys opted 0.98

02:28:54.140 out they were like nah i got a cold i'm not gonna get on the plane tonight the fucking plane went 0.95

02:28:58.780 down so I was like dude fuck man we should tell the plane to stop and then do you guys when you 0.99

02:29:06.120 when I'm in a plane I used to have really bad anxiety flying I used to think everybody kind 0.99

02:29:09.980 of has some but I'd be with good people and I'd be like no there's no way like I could die in a

02:29:14.180 plane crash that could happen to me some people like you know like Tommy's on the plane he's not

02:29:18.760 gonna die he's such a good dude right like Jamie Foxx is on the plane this is three of us this is

02:29:22.520 right so Jamie like we can't all die he was the leader of the plane he was the leader of the

02:29:27.440 plane that's why it happens he got off so this is essentially like yo let's go on this roller 0.96

02:29:31.360 coaster six fucking roller coaster we got to go on this shit and we get on and then i'm like at 0.98

02:29:34.740 the top of the fucking hill i'm like hold up one second you have fun i'll see you guys at the 0.99

02:29:38.320 bottom nah fuck that dude that yeah i think i think so what happened on the on the ride so 0.99

02:29:43.480 we're getting so we're getting on the plane or so the plane takes off and i'm waiting for something 0.99

02:29:49.320 bad to happen on the takeoff nothing bad happens on the takeoff and then for the rest of the four

02:29:52.900 and a half hour flight i was just focused on like yo dude i also hear weird stories about

02:29:58.540 planes flying over lake erie and i'm just like just disappearing disappearing and so i'm i was 0.97

02:30:05.480 like dude i'm gonna fully fucking hop up there and steer that shit steer this shit yeah absolutely 0.98

02:30:10.360 because like fuck that yeah i don't like no was it turbulence no natural design i must talk out 0.99

02:30:15.520 the window to that shit like a fucking hurricane anything absolutely like don't even think about 1.00

02:30:19.600 What would you have done if you went into the cockpit? 1.00

02:30:22.760 Like, what would have been your first step?

02:30:24.740 Pull up. 0.94

02:30:25.560 Dude, I used to fucking fly planes, man. 0.96

02:30:27.400 Wait, what? 0.99

02:30:28.320 No, you're lying.

02:30:28.920 What did you just say?

02:30:30.420 Could you say that one more time?

02:30:32.120 I swear to God, dude.

02:30:33.100 You're a pilot?

02:30:33.420 Cessna 187s, I think it was. 0.99

02:30:34.820 Oh, well, that changes the whole fucking story, bro. 1.00

02:30:37.840 You would have just plowed in and dragged that idiot pilot out. 1.00

02:30:41.000 I almost kind of wish it did happen. 1.00

02:30:43.240 Like, you walked in the cockpit.

02:30:44.160 MGK saves the day?

02:30:45.940 That was a legend.

02:30:47.700 I told you I wanted to be in the airports.

02:30:49.300 I used to do that

02:30:49.860 I used to be in play 0.98

02:30:50.420 I used to fucking dip the plane 0.99

02:30:51.640 Apple fucking comes up 1.00

02:30:52.960 And does like zero gravity shit 1.00

02:30:54.540 I used to do all that shit 0.96

02:30:55.900 That was when I was super young though 1.00

02:30:57.120 I've like done too many shits 0.99

02:30:58.340 To remember 0.99

02:30:59.580 That's not a shroom story

02:31:01.280 You actually did that

02:31:02.200 Like I was thinking the exact

02:31:03.360 You didn't just take like 15 grams

02:31:05.480 And you were just flying a plane

02:31:06.700 All of a sudden

02:31:07.280 Nah but I'm sitting there

02:31:07.940 The whole time focused

02:31:08.860 Like dude

02:31:09.660 I bet 0.99

02:31:10.440 If anything tries to fuck around 0.99

02:31:12.020 With this plane 0.99

02:31:12.440 I'm gonna talk about it

02:31:12.680 Did you let the people

02:31:13.260 On the plane go

02:31:13.720 Hell yeah I let them know

02:31:14.680 I let the pilots know

02:31:16.000 I let the pilots know 1.00

02:31:16.860 You're a fucking rapper 1.00

02:31:18.020 You hit a home run recently 1.00

02:31:24.000 Quite literally

02:31:25.640 Yeah it was when we landed

02:31:27.300 Off that plane

02:31:28.240 Oh for real

02:31:28.780 Yeah

02:31:29.180 That would have been

02:31:29.780 How badass would that have been

02:31:30.820 If you would have landed the plane

02:31:31.840 And then hit a home run

02:31:32.900 Maybe the next 1.00

02:31:33.520 Yo I don't fuck with those small planes 0.99

02:31:35.780 I really don't 0.99

02:31:36.520 Too many accidents happen

02:31:37.640 You did a song

02:31:38.240 Dude I gotta take one tomorrow

02:31:39.440 Dude every plane crash

02:31:40.640 Like 90% of all of them 0.96

02:31:41.700 Dude shut up 0.81

02:31:42.560 Dude I literally gotta 1.00

02:31:43.260 Fucking hop on one tomorrow 0.98

02:31:43.880 I don't want this smoke 1.00

02:31:45.200 Because imagine

02:31:45.840 Imagine this happens

02:31:46.820 Imagine this happens

02:31:48.000 Don't say it

02:31:49.260 I'm not going to say it

02:31:50.200 I wouldn't say it

02:31:50.880 Are you considering

02:31:51.760 A baseball career

02:31:52.580 Am I

02:31:53.700 Yeah

02:31:54.080 No

02:31:55.100 I mean dude

02:31:56.040 You should think about it

02:31:57.140 There was some

02:31:57.920 Interesting things

02:31:58.560 About that home run

02:31:59.280 I can't say it

02:31:59.720 It was in the park right

02:32:00.640 What do you mean

02:32:00.960 It was in the park

02:32:01.900 You just ran

02:32:02.240 Was it CGI

02:32:02.920 You looked like

02:32:03.840 Was it CGI

02:32:04.460 Was it CGI 1.00

02:32:05.380 No it was a fucking CGI 0.99

02:32:07.020 What 0.99

02:32:07.420 He said it first 1.00

02:32:08.520 What the fuck 0.99

02:32:10.040 Logan said it 1.00

02:32:10.800 Logan said it

02:32:12.240 And then he said it

02:32:12.860 And I laughed

02:32:13.440 Banks said I repeated his joke

02:32:15.080 Because I thought it was funny

02:32:15.880 I asked

02:32:16.480 I'll tell the story one day

02:32:17.960 Now you just told us you're on mushrooms

02:32:20.560 I didn't say I was on mushrooms

02:32:22.620 No problem

02:32:24.240 Got a lot of word twists

02:32:25.240 But the homer was real

02:32:27.700 The homer

02:32:28.220 It's 2019

02:32:31.920 It's 2019

02:32:33.120 Dude I was on LSD 0.99

02:32:37.600 Fucking hitting that 1.00

02:32:38.940 I knew it was coming out 1.00

02:32:40.380 Was it slow mo like backyard baseball

02:32:44.180 Just coming in at you

02:32:45.020 I was so zoned in

02:32:46.000 Daddy Yankee threw that first ball

02:32:47.640 And the first play of the game, he hit a ball right past my glove, and I was furious.

02:32:53.320 No, but you made up for it.

02:32:54.220 You absolutely made up for it.

02:32:55.260 Yep, you took your team to victory.

02:32:56.780 Incredible.

02:32:57.300 Listen, bro. 0.99

02:32:58.160 I would have known a little acid would fucking just set you up for success in such a great way. 0.98

02:33:03.240 Please don't do drugs. 0.98

02:33:04.200 Don't ever do drugs, kids.

02:33:05.560 Even if you're 21 plus, don't do that.

02:33:07.340 Yo, do you think you're ready to give our 900 people in the audience an epic performance of a lifetime?

02:33:13.820 You could say no.

02:33:14.800 Actually, please don't.

02:33:15.900 Please don't say no.

02:33:16.560 We promise everyone

02:33:17.400 Including the sponsors

02:33:18.120 It's good kicking it

02:33:20.200 With you guys man 0.99

02:33:20.780 He's fucking out 0.99

02:33:22.520 No no no 0.99

02:33:22.940 What he means is

02:33:24.540 He's not doing

02:33:24.980 I had a good time

02:33:26.260 Hey for real

02:33:27.360 For real

02:33:27.700 That's all

02:33:28.800 I'm out

02:33:30.100 Listen

02:33:30.620 Out in what manner

02:33:32.080 Which way is the front door 1.00

02:33:33.940 You're fucking lying bro 1.00

02:33:35.320 Listen 1.00

02:33:35.960 You just dropped a new album

02:33:37.120 Hotel Diablo

02:33:37.860 Let's go

02:33:38.560 We got two songs

02:33:39.820 MGK is gonna perform

02:33:40.740 Two songs right now

02:33:41.620 In the garage

02:33:42.340 Here in Encino 0.99

02:33:43.080 This is gonna be fucking epic 0.97

02:33:44.220 It looks like a music video 0.98

02:33:45.080 Do I have to wear these headphones

02:33:45.940 No, you don't. 0.98

02:33:47.100 Hey, if you want to go set up and we can bullshit for two minutes. 0.95

02:33:50.460 How you doing? 0.97

02:33:51.200 I'm doing good. 0.98

02:33:51.960 Oh, we have to bullshit for two minutes? 0.99

02:33:53.220 I mean, we don't have to. 0.99

02:33:53.960 We could sit here.

02:33:54.840 Awkwardly.

02:33:55.880 Yo, I like seeing you two together.

02:33:58.020 Bro, I also like...

02:33:58.740 We've never actually not got along. 0.99

02:34:00.480 I was about to say, like, in real life, I'm looking at Banks, I'm like, this fucking dude 1.00

02:34:04.900 is dope, bro. 0.99

02:34:05.560 Quick note about you guys getting along, me being the selfish clout chaser and all.

02:34:11.520 Who would you say would be the main reason that you guys are sitting next to each other?

02:34:16.020 Well, to be honest, Mike, I'll give you like half a point for that. 0.99

02:34:17.860 You're going to give me a half a fucking point? 0.92

02:34:18.820 No, we really have never, we've never not got along. 0.98

02:34:21.420 We've never actually had like, me and him have never like went at it.

02:34:24.880 No, I know. 0.98

02:34:25.320 Even privately, like we've never talked shit to each other. 0.92

02:34:27.520 We've never like given each other weird energy in person. 0.95

02:34:29.840 Like we've never, me and you, because you and Jake actually do keep a pretty fucking good job at like separating your own issues.

02:34:37.440 You know what I'm saying? 0.95

02:34:38.020 You guys just had beef with the butcher.

02:34:40.260 You didn't have beef with each other

02:34:42.220 Beef with the butcher

02:34:43.240 There was a butcher

02:34:44.560 The vegan making the butcher

02:34:47.760 That's why he's here

02:34:48.760 Banks bro 1.00

02:34:51.080 Fucking dude 1.00

02:34:52.700 Just an unassuming guy 1.00

02:34:53.880 Open for opinions

02:34:54.880 And you're smart bro

02:34:56.200 I feel like you're

02:34:57.480 No offense

02:34:58.000 Your appearance can deceive people

02:34:59.620 Just like with Mike bro

02:35:00.560 I like that though

02:35:01.760 I love that 0.97

02:35:02.880 I fucking love that 0.93

02:35:03.960 Yeah cause it makes people 0.96

02:35:04.940 Either underestimate or whatever

02:35:06.340 The thing too

02:35:07.280 Especially with older people

02:35:08.400 Like parents and stuff

02:35:09.640 The appearance

02:35:10.860 I guess or whatever

02:35:11.880 Like

02:35:12.500 People are a little bit like

02:35:13.960 Yeah especially cause

02:35:14.800 Your audience is

02:35:15.420 Watching you

02:35:16.240 And they're like

02:35:16.640 Who's this guy

02:35:17.460 You're watching

02:35:17.920 But parents love me

02:35:18.600 People just

02:35:19.220 In general

02:35:19.860 I just love to

02:35:20.840 Interact in a positive way

02:35:22.200 With like everybody

02:35:22.720 Like we have a lot

02:35:23.800 Of mutual friends

02:35:24.340 They'll all tell you that

02:35:25.080 I'm always smiling

02:35:25.900 Dancing

02:35:26.440 Laughing

02:35:27.040 Making friends with everybody

02:35:27.920 It's rare to see me

02:35:29.420 Like really go at it

02:35:30.320 You're just like a

02:35:30.880 Go lucky 1.00

02:35:31.540 If I fucking hate you though 1.00

02:35:33.420 I hate you 1.00

02:35:34.040 Yeah 0.99

02:35:34.420 And that's so cliche to say

02:35:36.300 Cause it's

02:35:36.780 Who do you hate though

02:35:37.680 I really don't hate anyone

02:35:38.700 You don't really hate anyone

02:35:39.400 Not a single person

02:35:40.100 Yeah no

02:35:40.400 It'll happen

02:35:41.920 And there'll be like

02:35:43.020 A span of time

02:35:43.860 Where I really don't 0.99

02:35:44.680 Fuck with somebody 1.00

02:35:45.040 And that energy 1.00

02:35:45.700 Sticks with me

02:35:46.380 And I think about it

02:35:47.120 And I hate that I think about it

02:35:48.020 And I hate feeling that way

02:35:48.980 So I do my best

02:35:49.980 I do my best to just 0.97

02:35:50.860 Fucking squash what I can 0.98

02:35:52.060 Bro you got no time 1.00

02:35:52.740 For that shit 1.00

02:35:53.200 Like you just don't 1.00

02:35:53.920 No time

02:35:54.200 No time

02:35:54.940 No time

02:35:55.260 Your energy is your 1.00

02:35:56.660 Fucking money bro 1.00

02:35:57.540 It's your life force 1.00

02:35:58.580 Everyone here can attest

02:36:00.000 Before this podcast

02:36:00.980 I wasn't talking to anyone

02:36:02.560 Not a single person

02:36:03.520 Got my attention

02:36:04.120 All saving for this moment

02:36:05.980 Right here

02:36:06.420 This three hours

02:36:07.560 Of impossible

02:36:09.020 You guys have done a great job, by the way.

02:36:10.640 I just want to say that.

02:36:11.280 In general, this show.

02:36:12.280 The show.

02:36:12.940 Thank you, bro.

02:36:13.560 In general.

02:36:14.240 Thank you.

02:36:14.960 B minus.

02:36:16.320 The show A plus.

02:36:16.960 I'll take that.

02:36:17.440 You pass with the B minus.

02:36:19.560 Yeah.

02:36:20.080 Show A plus.

02:36:20.860 Thank you, bro. 0.92

02:36:21.620 It's a fucking generous B minus. 0.99

02:36:23.620 Mike is a human is a C minus. 0.99

02:36:26.260 Here's the thing.

02:36:27.380 With all of the drama tonight, you can't be making those jokes.

02:36:31.240 Okay?

02:36:31.540 People watching this show right now are like, Brinks is serious.

02:36:33.620 No, no.

02:36:34.200 Maybe Mike is a C minus.

02:36:35.800 The people who know me know I'm not serious and they know my sense of humor.

02:36:38.360 They know the way I talk

02:36:39.200 Mike's a great guy

02:36:40.360 You've already said

02:36:41.060 You're a great guy

02:36:42.180 We love you

02:36:42.840 You're funny 0.96

02:36:43.360 Everyone fucking loves you 0.96

02:36:44.700 You're a great person 1.00

02:36:45.660 Stroke it

02:36:46.080 Everyone absolutely does 0.99

02:36:47.260 I just want fucking clout 1.00

02:36:48.220 Everyone fucks with Mike 1.00

02:36:51.400 They're all I'm here for 0.99

02:36:52.120 In the industry

02:36:53.320 But the Jake Paulers don't

02:36:54.560 No but I'm gonna be honest bro

02:36:55.520 Cause like

02:36:55.920 Just like me in a way 0.63

02:36:57.080 You're easy to hate

02:36:58.300 Sort of

02:36:59.300 Yeah because how could you not 0.99

02:37:00.800 Fucking 0.98

02:37:01.160 Dude's funny 0.99

02:37:01.740 But like fake hate though

02:37:02.680 Good looking 0.83

02:37:03.420 Gets all the girls

02:37:04.760 No it's just

02:37:05.220 Really smart

02:37:05.740 By the way

02:37:06.480 Highest IQ in the house

02:37:07.760 Also tied with Andre

02:37:11.020 But also at the same time

02:37:13.060 Everybody wants to be sweaty

02:37:15.380 I'm always sweaty

02:37:16.960 You're super relatable

02:37:18.720 And you're super great

02:37:19.980 And I'm sure you have something

02:37:21.220 But I have something more important

02:37:22.460 Wait you're sure I have something 0.98

02:37:24.020 MGK has to fucking play 0.99

02:37:25.700 MGK is about to perform live 0.99

02:37:28.940 Here on the 100th episode of Impulsive

02:37:30.720 Hit that subscribe button 0.98

02:37:32.840 We fucking love you 0.98

02:37:33.900 Performing two songs from his new album Hotel Diablo 1.00

02:37:36.720 Buy that shit on iTunes 0.99

02:37:37.620 Stream it on Spotify 1.00

02:37:38.700 Machine Gun Kelly 0.99

02:37:39.880 We fucking love you 0.99

02:37:40.680 Let's get this bread 0.99

02:37:41.580 Candy baby 1.00

02:37:42.840 I made a promise to beat the ass up 1.00

02:37:59.960 Like a dime to survive 1.00

02:38:00.840 But beat him again 1.00

02:38:01.720 Fuck your big bro 1.00

02:38:03.760 We the ones that got it 1.00

02:38:05.800 When the rents flow, I make it happen again

02:38:08.060 I'm back to rappin' again, ain't no waste happen again

02:38:10.460 Light it and pass it again, know what I'm packin' again

02:38:12.820 I'm an assassin again, ayy

02:38:14.560 I shoot dice, yeah, gamble with my life, yeah

02:38:17.300 No invites, yeah, keep my circle tight, yeah

02:38:20.540 All my hoes, yeah, keep that sugar spice, yeah

02:38:23.760 For the bros, yeah, I do nothing twice, yeah 1.00

02:38:26.860 I got a combination that was savin' the back of the bank to be starin' my shit 1.00

02:38:30.460 Just had a conversation with a girl that I dated, I shit, I ain't hard to shit 1.00

02:38:33.600 I got a reputation to be goin' and showin' a boy and a boy and a shit 1.00

02:38:36.840 I had an altercation down in Florida, I threw a space on the floor and a shit 1.00

02:38:40.100 Ay, fuck the bitch, though 1.00

02:38:42.140 We the ones that got it with 1.00

02:38:44.400 Turn the lights on in there

02:38:53.380 Right here, turn these ones on

02:38:55.360 Is the garage open? Open the fuckin' garage, dude 0.99

02:38:58.320 Play that shit back 1.00

02:38:59.560 Play that back, open the garage 1.00

02:39:01.800 Let's go. 1.00

02:39:31.800 Fuck your beat, bro 1.00

02:39:34.060 We the ones that got it 1.00

02:39:36.080 When you rent slow

02:39:37.120 I make it happen again

02:39:38.360 I make it happen again

02:39:39.560 Ain't always happen again

02:39:40.760 Light it and pass it again

02:39:41.980 Know when I'm packin' again

02:39:43.160 I'm in a second again

02:39:44.440 I shoot dice, yeah

02:39:45.980 Gamble with my life, yeah

02:39:47.640 No invites, yeah

02:39:49.160 Keep my circle tight, yeah 0.90

02:39:50.860 All my hoes, yeah 1.00

02:39:52.360 Keep that sugar spice, yeah 1.00

02:39:54.060 For the bros, yeah

02:39:55.620 I do nothing twice, yeah

02:39:57.240 I got a combination

02:39:58.620 To a safe in the back of the bank 1.00

02:39:59.880 To be storing my shit 1.00

02:40:00.720 Just had a conversation with a girl that I dated 1.00

02:40:02.700 Now she how we whoring this shit 0.99

02:40:03.900 I got a reputation to be going to shore 1.00

02:40:05.860 On the floor in the morning

02:40:06.720 I had a altercation out of Florida 1.00

02:40:08.800 I threw a space on the floor in this shit 1.00

02:40:10.400 Fuck a bitch, though 1.00

02:40:12.420 Y'all ain't want us before we was with 1.00

02:40:15.160 I can't go back to this shit 1.00

02:40:16.700 I need a castle and shit 1.00

02:40:17.920 I'm on some Dracula shit 1.00

02:40:19.100 I used to have to heat up his water to shower 1.00

02:40:21.120 And y'all don't know how it is shit 0.99

02:40:22.340 I shoot dice, yeah 1.00

02:40:24.360 Gamble with my life, yeah

02:40:26.040 No invites, yeah

02:40:27.540 Keep my circle tight, yeah 0.90

02:40:29.220 All my hoes, yeah 1.00

02:40:30.740 Keep that sugar spice, yeah 1.00

02:40:32.460 For the pros, yeah

02:40:33.980 I do nothing twice, yeah 0.98

02:40:35.640 Let me get some fucking horns to the sky 0.98

02:40:38.260 Stop the debate if my name isn't mentioned 0.99

02:40:40.720 In this generation, it's one of the greatest

02:40:42.340 Fleries, cicadas, I change the way rappers rock out of them stages

02:40:44.680 I saw people take it and they were more famous

02:40:46.320 So why ain't get credit, I had to be patient

02:40:47.900 I know people hate me just by my appearance 1.00

02:40:49.620 You motherfuckers can't be serious, ay 1.00

02:40:51.560 I shoot dice, yeah, gamble with my life, yeah 1.00

02:40:54.820 No invites, yeah, keep my circle tight, yeah

02:40:58.020 on my hoes yeah keep that sugar spice yeah for the pros yeah i do nothing twice yeah

02:41:04.460 i shoot dice yeah gamble with my life yeah no invites yeah keep my circle tight yeah

02:41:10.780 on my hoes yeah keep that sugar spice yeah for the pros yeah i do nothing twice yeah

02:41:17.300 diablo

02:41:20.700 diablo

02:41:28.020 One more

02:41:35.940 Let's do it 0.85

02:41:39.520 Hey, you know I keep that candy, yeah

02:41:50.320 I need more like many, yeah

02:41:52.820 Stay up, take Addie's, yeah

02:41:55.260 I'm trying to fix this damage, yeah

02:41:57.720 You know I keep that candy, yeah

02:42:00.120 I need more like many, yeah

02:42:02.640 Stay up, take Addie's, yeah

02:42:05.020 I'm tryna fix this damage, yeah

02:42:07.460 I'm in my head again

02:42:09.880 I took more medicine

02:42:12.020 Ripped up the parts from my heart and my chest again 1.00

02:42:17.200 Fuck it, I was raised like that 1.00

02:42:19.000 So I guess I never really changed like that 1.00

02:42:21.440 I be taking shots to the brain like that

02:42:23.920 Blacked out, drunk, and I came like that

02:42:26.320 It's helping me to get the water paint like that

02:42:28.860 Yeah, driving through the rain like that

02:42:31.280 Running from the fame like that

02:42:33.120 On the front page like that

02:42:34.900 Look, I'ma go insane like that

02:42:36.660 You know I keep that candy, yeah 0.89

02:42:39.280 I need more like Mindy, yeah

02:42:41.780 Stay up, take ads, yeah

02:42:44.200 I'm trying to fix this damage, yeah

02:42:46.660 You know I keep that candy, yeah

02:42:49.120 I need more like Mindy, yeah

02:42:51.620 Stay up, take ads, yeah

02:42:53.980 I'm trying to fix this damage, yeah

02:42:56.400 I'm in my head again

02:42:58.820 I took more medicine

02:43:00.960 Ripped up the parts from my heart

02:43:04.300 And my chest again 1.00

02:43:06.200 Fuck it, I was raised like that 1.00

02:43:07.960 So I guess I never really changed like that 1.00

02:43:10.460 I be taking shots to the brain like that 0.99

02:43:12.920 Black girl drunk and I came like that 1.00

02:43:15.320 But it's up for me to get through all the pain like that 0.96

02:43:17.820 Yeah, driving through the rain like that

02:43:20.260 Run up on the frame like that

02:43:22.100 On the front page like that

02:43:23.880 I'm a gon' shine like

02:43:25.420 You know I keep that candy, yeah

02:43:28.320 I need more like Mandy, yeah

02:43:30.800 I stay up, take Addie's, yeah

02:43:33.200 I'm tryna fix this damage, yeah

02:43:35.600 You know I keep that candy, yeah

02:43:38.060 I need more like Mandy, yeah

02:43:40.500 I stay up, take Addie's, yeah

02:43:42.880 I'm tryna fix this damage, yeah 0.99

02:43:45.140 God damn it 0.98

02:43:46.500 Like that 0.99

02:43:49.360 Like that

02:43:51.780 Yo, Machine Gun Kelly, everyone 0.99

02:43:53.740 Fucking rock star of our generation 0.99

02:43:56.580 Best performer of our time 0.99

02:43:59.240 Download his new album

02:44:00.400 It's on Diablo, iTunes, Spotify

02:44:02.060 You know the drill

02:44:02.780 Thank you for watching Impulsive

02:44:04.620 Episode 100

02:44:05.900 You know how we do it, man

02:44:07.800 Hit that subscribe button

02:44:09.100 Live for the first time ever

02:44:10.720 Thank you guys for listening 0.97

02:44:11.880 I fucking love you for real 0.89

02:44:13.200 Much more to come with this show 0.98

02:44:15.220 Shout out to MGK

02:44:16.980 We'll see you guys on Friday

02:44:18.840 Bringing the dancing lobsters

02:44:23.740 I'm in my head again

02:44:26.640 I took more medicine

02:44:28.840 Ripped up the parts from my heart

02:44:32.180 In my chest again

02:44:53.740 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

02:44:59.380 We have a new podcast.

02:45:00.800 It's called Don't Lie to Me.

02:45:02.180 I'm Lexi Iwanu.

02:45:03.340 We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

02:45:07.300 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one,

02:45:09.480 which means we have wildly different references,

02:45:11.920 occasionally different opinions.

02:45:13.340 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

02:45:16.160 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes,

02:45:19.040 Good Taste is my business.

02:45:21.220 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

02:45:27.960 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast.

02:45:33.700 The true crime comedy podcast, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

02:45:38.100 Each week, I bring on an amazing guest.

02:45:39.980 Ooh, I scammed them.

02:45:41.160 What?

02:45:41.620 I could talk to you for an hour.

02:45:43.160 You're a generational yapper, like me.

02:45:45.180 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

02:45:47.160 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.

02:45:50.020 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

02:46:20.020 halloween it's right up next to the microphone i hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each

02:46:25.440 other you never seen italy so quiet as when the pope gets up to wink on halloween listen to artists

02:46:31.960 on artists on artists on artists every thursday on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever

02:46:37.120 you get your podcasts i'm hamza and i'm martin and we're the hosts of out of character the funniest

02:46:42.120 podcast in the entire world the russian queen i like that it's a good way to promote ourselves

02:46:49.200 We are two funny guys having fun, enjoying ourselves,

02:46:52.300 and we just know how to have fun, unlike anyone else.

02:46:55.180 If you guys like fun conversations, hot takes, what else?

02:46:59.560 Not too hot, just kind of lukewarm.

02:47:01.140 Lukewarm takes.

02:47:01.680 Just to get your mind thinking a little bit.

02:47:03.600 Listen to Out of Character on the iHeartRadio app,

02:47:06.100 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Impaulsive with Logan Paul - July 18, 2019

100 LIVE! THE 100TH EPISODE OF IMPAULSIVE

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Transcript