Impaulsive with Logan Paul - LOGAN PAUL IS A LIAR - IMPAULSIVE EP. 101

00:00:00.340 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

00:00:03.000 We have a new podcast.

00:00:04.320 It's called Don't Lie to Me.

00:00:05.760 I'm Lexi Iwanu.

00:00:06.860 We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

00:00:11.040 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one,

00:00:13.200 which means we have wildly different references,

00:00:15.440 occasionally different opinions.

00:00:16.760 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

00:00:19.600 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes,

00:00:22.560 Good Taste is my business.

00:00:24.740 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

00:00:27.620 or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:00:30.000 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Colhane, Patrick McDonald, and we're

00:00:36.120 the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast, the Improvised Character

00:00:40.540 Comedy podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.

00:00:45.420 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants.

00:00:48.500 And we do a little Halloween sometimes.

00:00:50.720 Does the Pope dress up?

00:00:52.060 He winks on Halloween.

00:00:54.340 He gets right up next to the microphone.

00:00:56.020 I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other.

00:00:58.980 You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

00:01:04.480 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:11.980 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast,

00:01:17.640 the true crime comedy podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

00:01:22.020 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

00:01:23.900 Ooh, I scammed them.

00:01:25.080 What?

00:01:25.560 I could talk to you for an hour.

00:01:26.940 You're a generational yapper, like me.

00:01:28.980 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

00:01:31.120 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.

00:01:34.360 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:40.300 Scam Goddess!

00:01:42.200 I'm Hamza.

00:01:42.960 And I'm Martin.

00:01:43.620 And we're the hosts of Out of Character, the best podcast in the world, is what they said.

00:01:47.820 Wait, they said that?

00:01:48.840 Yeah, yeah, they said that.

00:01:50.120 The best podcast with two best friends who jabber and talk about topical, trendy, funny stuff, give our input on it.

00:01:56.740 That's what you've needed, I think, up until now, listener.

00:01:59.080 Listen to Out of Character on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:02:04.480 Sometimes I just feel like a burden.

00:02:06.160 You're a bird.

00:02:06.920 You fly.

00:02:07.620 You're a martin.

00:02:08.280 And we are Out of Character Podcast. 0.63

00:02:10.480 Dude, you messed up the clip.

00:02:12.360 I'll say this.

00:02:14.100 I was pretty sure.

00:02:15.760 I was pretty goddamn sure that I didn't have a micropenis.

00:02:19.260 And, like, even now, I'm sure. 0.70

00:02:21.460 I'm pretty sure.

00:02:23.020 But I'm sure.

00:02:23.880 But I'm pretty sure. 1.00

00:02:26.740 Go back to Plymouth fucking rock, you pilgrim. 1.00

00:02:35.120 Like, other people drive cars, 1.00

00:02:36.460 you look like you just came here on the fucking Mayflower, dude. 1.00

00:02:38.880 Like, how did you end up looking like such a pilgrim? 1.00

00:02:41.480 Bro, leave him alone. 0.94

00:02:43.060 Does he not look like a pilgrim, bro?

00:02:46.620 I'm not saying that. 0.86

00:02:47.820 That is where my disses will end, and there's not even a diss.

00:02:50.060 It's just a factual situation.

00:02:51.620 Logan's a lax, bro. 0.99

00:02:52.840 We got a dwarf that looks like... 1.00

00:02:54.220 What? What? What? What? 1.00

00:02:55.580 And we've got Spencer.

00:02:56.740 Tread lightly.

00:02:57.680 Come on.

00:02:58.040 Tread lightly.

00:02:58.660 Come on.

00:02:59.120 Okay.

00:02:59.520 Who looks like Eddie Van Halen. 0.53

00:03:01.080 That said, you look like a bearded pilgrim. 0.54

00:03:03.180 I'll just go ahead.

00:03:03.680 Can you show him real quick?

00:03:04.620 I'll start the show.

00:03:06.000 I don't know.

00:03:06.760 I'll start the show probably right now.

00:03:08.940 Here we go.

00:03:11.680 What's up, everybody?

00:03:12.560 Welcome back to Impulsive, the number one podcast in the world, episode 101. 0.96

00:03:17.040 We fucking did it. 0.96

00:03:19.140 I can't believe it. 1.00

00:03:20.840 Wow.

00:03:21.880 I'm not going to lie.

00:03:22.960 I'm a little slow today.

00:03:24.400 i just woke up from a nap spencer just woke up from a nap episode 100 was live it was a three

00:03:30.660 hour mega show mgk performed we skyped with andy from fire fest theo von came on and made some

00:03:37.260 jokes hilarious guy i i sucked so much energy out of my body i literally have no gas left in the

00:03:43.940 tank today and we have to do two podcasts so bear with us hit that subscribe button uh again we are

00:03:49.400 the number one podcast in the world we do an extended audio q a after the visual is done on

00:03:53.340 spotify and itunes it's great we're here we got sponsors now i'm ex-controversial i can't believe

00:03:58.300 how's everyone feeling bro last night when we left we had the little like after party and everyone

00:04:02.580 was like yo episode 100 bro after party even after the after party it'll be at warwick let's

00:04:08.920 let's roll i go to this is what i said i go i'm gonna run upstairs quickly shower and get ready

00:04:14.800 because i'm ready to rage i literally took my shoes off went upstairs and fell asleep with my

00:04:19.940 clothes on under the blankets he came in he's like mike you ready to go and i was like bro

00:04:23.660 it's 10 p.m i'm exhausted i just got into a physical altercation with your brother

00:04:28.640 i want to go to sleep bro jake and him i want to sleep off camera jake and him fought off camera

00:04:33.940 yeah yeah i'll be honest i didn't know that didn't happen that was a lie i lied uh but yeah a lot of

00:04:39.260 things happened yesterday i want to kind of debrief on the episode so if you haven't seen

00:04:42.200 episode 100 what are you doing this chair won't go down dude nothing i told you you haven't seen

00:04:49.500 episode 100, please make sure

00:04:51.600 to do so. We're going to post some clips

00:04:53.140 on the Impulsive Show Instagram.

00:04:55.820 Man, I'm...

00:04:56.860 What do you got?

00:04:58.620 It's just kind of distracting.

00:05:01.520 Kind of looks like... 1.00

00:05:02.300 Cut the crap, alright? 1.00

00:05:05.920 Side note, that's a great position for sex. 1.00

00:05:08.540 You know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:05:10.360 When you're seated...

00:05:11.580 We talked about something last night. 0.99

00:05:13.580 It was your sex addiction. 0.87

00:05:15.600 I'm sorry. 0.92

00:05:16.780 Can I not talk about sex?

00:05:19.500 I was helping my boy out, and you had to bring sex into it. 1.00

00:05:21.760 Like, oh, because it looked like you were fucking. 1.00

00:05:23.460 Wow, no, it looked like I was helping my boy out. 1.00

00:05:25.640 You're bouncing up and down on his lap.

00:05:27.520 It looked like we were lowering a chair.

00:05:29.220 Quickly before I forget, I know you probably want to go in some sort of order,

00:05:32.740 but I'm going to launch this out.

00:05:34.280 Right after the show last night, it was like the perfect time to debrief

00:05:37.400 for Logan to be hanging out with his buddies, like cheers into like a great show.

00:05:41.060 So it's me, him, and Spencer.

00:05:42.520 We're doing our three-person debrief, which we do after the show

00:05:44.920 is we talk about what went right, what went wrong, what we liked.

00:05:47.360 And we literally just get started.

00:05:48.860 we're just diving into it and i see logan and his eye just keep moving away from me while i'm 0.97

00:05:53.560 talking and a girl with yellow fucking hair starts walking over and i go not right now man we're 0.98

00:06:00.140 debriefing he goes no you're fine come on take a seat and i go logan what's good and all of a 0.99

00:06:05.160 sudden i start talking i start talking and all of a sudden i hear logan go i'm literally talking

00:06:10.980 about the episode he goes how old are you and she's like i'm 23 and she's and he's like 23 i 0.96

00:06:17.520 bet you could teach me a few things i'm like bro i go i go are you fucking kidding me would you 0.57

00:06:22.820 would you have invited her into the circle i want to address this because mike said the same thing 0.82

00:06:29.080 yesterday and i guess it's like and i said he'll fix it the same thing that i'm about to say like

00:06:33.360 why why you do this this like this yeah like you know what you just said is an absolute lie

00:06:39.660 you're a headline guy you're a headline guy and plus and plus you twisted my words i didn't say

00:06:44.460 that what did you say sorry sorry what did you say she goes i'm a mom i go you're a mom how old

00:06:48.680 are you she goes 23 i go wow you're a 23 year old mama you've probably seen some she probably

00:06:52.600 knows some stuff i bet you could teach me a few things oh i missed the mom part i missed that 1.00

00:06:56.420 you fucking moron completely different than what you said you're an idiot and i told you no no no 1.00

00:07:00.740 i don't know i missed the mom part we had this by the way we had this we had this conversation 1.00

00:07:06.200 yesterday and yes it is better you can learn a lot of things from a 23 year old you're right

00:07:10.600 Wait, wait, wait.

00:07:11.860 Let me ask. 0.65

00:07:12.880 Would she have been invited into this circle if she couldn't have deep-throated the banana in such a magnificent way? 0.77

00:07:20.840 Wait, that was her?

00:07:22.040 That was her?

00:07:23.300 That's all I heard. 0.82

00:07:24.360 That was her? 0.86

00:07:24.940 Let me. 1.00

00:07:26.040 Fuck. 1.00

00:07:27.400 That was her? 1.00

00:07:28.340 She's a mom that deep-throated bananas on video? 1.00

00:07:30.920 No, wait. 1.00

00:07:31.320 Stop.

00:07:31.780 Okay, sorry, sorry.

00:07:32.580 Why don't we start off like this?

00:07:34.040 I'll sit this one out. 0.99

00:07:34.660 We're stuck in the dick, Sam. 0.99

00:07:35.800 No, because now we're here. 0.99

00:07:37.120 All right?

00:07:37.580 And if we're here, I'm diving in.

00:07:39.140 Because I have a story, too, about this.

00:07:41.380 Yes, it is this girl.

00:07:42.840 She went viral on Instagram

00:07:44.860 because she deep-throated a banana. 1.00

00:07:48.560 Can we show this to knock it?

00:07:50.160 I don't want this to age-gated.

00:07:51.260 No, I think we can't.

00:07:52.380 Was this before she was a mommy?

00:07:54.700 I don't know, but you probably

00:07:56.940 have seen this video, guys.

00:07:58.640 I can't say I have.

00:08:00.420 Danny, look away. I'm serious.

00:08:03.120 I mean, like,

00:08:04.020 and she was here. She was here for the live show.

00:08:07.080 She was walking around

00:08:08.700 sure mike was talking but let's be honest like how important are mike's words really so

00:08:12.140 she's important look at the photo she's important he said she just embraced it bro she got some

00:08:18.160 organic bananas oh she got eggplants too oh no oh yeah and cucumbers what did she do with that 0.69

00:08:25.080 i mean you could take it oh it's like it's like her thing like fellatio on produce so it's like

00:08:29.740 and so it's like we're we're here breaking down the most important episode of our life

00:08:33.260 and it's like logan is like a little dog if you throw a little tennis toy he's like

00:08:36.860 Look, she dipped a banana.

00:08:41.260 Gone, bro. 1.00

00:08:42.320 Dude, his brain just fucking vanished. 1.00

00:08:44.480 I'm going to be honest. 1.00

00:08:45.180 I slid in her DMs.

00:08:47.000 It doesn't surprise me.

00:08:48.760 You didn't?

00:08:49.540 No.

00:08:49.980 You're lying.

00:08:50.400 I didn't see the video, by the way.

00:08:52.260 By the way, pull up her account.

00:08:54.460 I don't even know what her name is. 0.99

00:08:55.820 What's her name? 0.99

00:08:56.500 Mina.

00:08:57.060 But listen, I sent an eye, eye emojis, eyes, and then she sent it back. 0.81

00:09:03.480 And then I said, do you know what I hate?

00:09:05.700 that was my second dm i said do you know what i hate and she said what's that and i said that i'm 0.91

00:09:10.800 dming you because i saw you sucking off banana that's a good like i i i hate that about myself 0.97

00:09:15.780 like the the inner man in me was like oh my god banana hot that's a good that's a good slide 1.00

00:09:22.560 you're a caveman mentality bro like i'm a moron it goes back to like why do dudes like butt and 1.00

00:09:28.880 boobs they're just like round lumps on a girl's body big fat boobs make make with toast butter 1.00

00:09:34.540 Don't look at me like that, Evan. 1.00

00:09:39.620 You shotgunned a beer on our fucking... 1.00

00:09:41.180 I wasn't doing anything. 1.00

00:09:42.400 I don't know.

00:09:42.840 That was dope, though, actually.

00:09:44.200 It was so dope, dude.

00:09:45.360 Every frat in America went crazy with that. 1.00

00:09:48.540 Kepa sick. 1.00

00:09:49.440 Let's go.

00:09:50.500 But the live episode, guys, was absolutely crazy.

00:09:55.520 I told Mike and a few other people,

00:09:58.560 if I was capable of having panic attacks,

00:10:01.220 it would have been a three-hour panic attack.

00:10:03.380 The whole time.

00:10:03.920 the whole time i it was torture the whole thing was absolute torture i was freaking out those

00:10:10.280 who've watched a lot of episodes you can probably tell i wasn't i wasn't on um but i was i was

00:10:15.580 internally combusting the entire three hours what happened what went wrong i think i i narrowed it

00:10:21.000 down i think it was the the live audience not being live yeah i was nervous to shotgun a beer

00:10:26.680 bro a lot of people and then here's the thing they're not like necessarily like fans of impulsive

00:10:32.420 they're like our family and friends family um creators so they're not laughing at all the jokes

00:10:39.780 yeah they're kind of like a dry audience someone called them a do we have the exact terminology

00:10:44.780 like zombies standing in line this may this is my favorite comment if you if you wrote this comment

00:10:51.660 um on the video i'm happy for you leroy jenkins go figure who said it incredible the audience 0.51

00:10:59.020 looked like oh fuck it's okay uh yeah you probably just skip that word out the audience looked like 0.90

00:11:06.360 a bunch of lunatics waiting for their number to be called at the dmv and honestly like it was yeah 0.98

00:11:11.460 it was bad and like so they're not as funny without the word they made me nervous because i 0.82

00:11:16.700 it was such an interest like do i play to the live audience or do i play to the cameras like

00:11:22.780 we always do for every episode and about halfway through i finally got a rhythm and i actually

00:11:28.120 apologize to theo because it was such a like i've never met that dude before i'm actually a big fan

00:11:33.540 of him i'm surprised you apologize because that that like i don't know if i apologize i was like

00:11:38.480 i think i said i'm sorry it was such a shit show because it did feel like bro i mean he came in 0.97

00:11:43.900 the desk is covered in confetti there's a fucking alien over there with a stripper girlfriend a 0.99

00:11:49.020 tattoo artist proposing to spencer for 15 minutes by the way did anyone else notice that he he was 0.99

00:11:54.400 celebrating the day of his three-year sobriety over an open bottle of tequila i called it out i

00:11:59.260 don't know if everyone picked up on it do you think he got a contact drunk just from the scent

00:12:02.820 probably not to touch on theo really quick funniest person i've i've ever sat with i literally could

00:12:09.300 barely could stop laughing the whole time he is the most random on point we me and spencer talked

00:12:15.080 about it this morning his biggest skill is his timing he's able to keep you intrigued with the 0.99

00:12:20.900 direction he thinks you're you think he's about to take a joke and then he flips that shit on you 0.98

00:12:25.660 so hard dude that like you you're not expecting it like he's just incredible when when we asked 0.99

00:12:31.380 him if he was going to storm area 51 and he goes nah you know the thing about me is i'm more of an

00:12:36.340 indoors type of guy i'm like my favorite type of guy my favorite part was when he talked about the 0.95

00:12:41.620 dude who bent over and exposed his balls so he could make 15 yeah like and then and that dude 0.64

00:12:46.800 own like a putt putt yeah he's a manager and we would ask him these really long questions and he'd 0.99

00:12:51.820 be like yeah i'm not even trying to think about all that oh i'm not even thinking about all that

00:12:55.920 but yeah he's he's amazing i i want we should have him back for a full hour episode uh banks

00:13:01.980 came on we gotta have him back for a full hour hour episode banks almost died mgk threw a knife 0.98

00:13:07.440 oh um not six inches from his face mgk was here as well and that was awesome that was fucking 0.78

00:13:16.400 crazy i have a whole list of things i want to go through here and maybe we should go like one by 0.71

00:13:19.980 one um can we talk about the lie detector test really quick because this has been this has been

00:13:23.680 kind of eating my my face like so so i know what part's eating you up actually maybe a couple even

00:13:27.980 but it i from what i understand i asked this question on twitter what was everyone's favorite

00:13:31.340 part of the show it seems like the lie detector test was the kind of the overall yeah climax of

00:13:36.120 the show like a lot of insane truth hoods that came out of that lie detector test and by the way

00:13:41.480 shout out john the lie detector guy who is a why is he perfect for that position he literally

00:13:46.300 he's like a robo i said i asked him i said hey have you ever smiled didn't you see the tesla logo

00:13:51.040 on the back of his head there was a tesla logo he was an android okay there was one point where

00:13:56.220 we had to stick a charging cord into his back you guys didn't see this it was under the table

00:14:00.740 okay it's off camera i said i said john have you ever smiled he goes no no this is polygraph yo

00:14:05.640 because when when he uh when i thought he was starting to mess up on the questions i was like

00:14:11.500 can you state your credentials quickly like how long have you been doing this he goes i've been

00:14:15.600 polygraphing for 30 years.

00:14:17.500 And in what settings have you been

00:14:19.680 doing it? Family and testimonial.

00:14:22.100 No.

00:14:23.420 Criminal and relationships.

00:14:25.320 And I was like, I couldn't

00:14:27.200 argue with you if I tried because you're a robot. 0.99

00:14:29.200 You're a subhuman android.

00:14:31.140 What do you think he was like a child though? 0.63

00:14:33.020 Probably the same guy.

00:14:34.540 He just came out of the womb not crying. 0.66

00:14:36.060 That size too.

00:14:37.720 He came out of the womb 0.96

00:14:39.320 as John the polygrapher. 0.99

00:14:41.520 John wasn't born, John was

00:14:43.260 created in a lab.

00:14:44.520 looking exactly the way he did

00:14:46.420 when he came on the show yesterday.

00:14:49.900 We gotta talk about it.

00:14:51.080 Well, there's a couple parts.

00:14:51.940 Do you really have a micropenis, dude?

00:14:53.360 So, okay.

00:14:54.180 Because I got asked at least four times after the podcast.

00:14:57.560 Everyone's asking me.

00:14:58.540 Everyone's asking me.

00:14:59.080 Really?

00:14:59.660 Girls are in my DMs right now asking,

00:15:02.780 does Logan really have a micropenis?

00:15:04.440 If so, I need to see it.

00:15:06.740 It's crazy how they want to see it.

00:15:08.020 Yeah, I got you.

00:15:09.280 Well, it's just an in.

00:15:10.180 It's just an in.

00:15:10.960 Surprisingly, your stock might have just went up.

00:15:13.440 Oh, that's why I kind of like this rumor.

00:15:15.440 I don't even know if I want to address it.

00:15:17.580 Here's what I will say.

00:15:18.700 I'm not going to sit here and be like,

00:15:20.380 no, I don't have a micropenis.

00:15:22.700 I'm a man.

00:15:23.960 I'll say this.

00:15:25.800 I was pretty sure.

00:15:27.360 I was pretty goddamn sure that I didn't have a micropenis.

00:15:30.700 And like, even now, I'm sure. 0.69

00:15:33.040 I'm pretty sure.

00:15:34.600 I'm sure.

00:15:35.320 But according to John, I have a micropenis,

00:15:42.000 which maybe he's right in which case how would you classify your so that's what i that's the 0.98

00:15:48.040 part i don't get because i i hate to say it like this but like logan is a fucking nudist bro he's 0.98

00:15:54.820 on expose 24 hours literally i walk into the bathroom and we'll have business meetings and 0.98

00:16:00.000 he'll just he has a towel around him when i come in so i'm like now might be a good time for business

00:16:03.800 meeting nope it's time for him to dry his hair with the same towel so it's just dicks out for 0.99

00:16:08.760 the boys dude okay so i have seen it i can say for a fact that he does not have a micro penis 0.99

00:16:13.920 or so you thought does that's what i'm saying or does he because here's the question maybe it was 0.98

00:16:20.400 just a hot day and it really needed to breathe and and what i always thought was i was looking

00:16:25.220 at his um or or he was exposing because i'm looking at it he was exposing his um flaccid 0.99

00:16:32.800 penis. But what if the whole time 0.99

00:16:34.900 his flaccid penis was his erect 1.00

00:16:36.760 penis? So his 1.00

00:16:38.840 little one and a half inch flaccid 1.00

00:16:40.940 penis is what he actually is when he's hard. 0.99

00:16:43.500 One and a half inch? 0.88

00:16:46.200 2.2

00:16:47.320 inches. No, you should take a solid look

00:16:49.000 at it next time. I don't want to.

00:16:51.300 You've had to have made

00:16:52.520 direct eye contact with it. Well, I mean, I'm right at that level.

00:16:54.700 That's what I'm saying. I have to make direct

00:16:56.820 eye contact.

00:16:58.440 I mean, yeah, two and a half inches.

00:17:00.640 Did you get any other point of measurement when you saw it?

00:17:02.800 like like smell or anything yeah you have any other one thumb like forearm look look guys we're

00:17:09.940 in dick sand the point is you know maybe maybe our definition of micropenis is wrong um the other

00:17:17.540 one though uh the the the hamstring i'm glad as you guys know i pulled my hamstring and so i'm

00:17:23.560 recovering uh from that still and mike's question was did i fake it uh just to to create some sort

00:17:29.120 of excuse the answer was no and he said i was telling the truth there which is good um but i

00:17:33.700 i was thinking man the challenger games are coming up july 27th get your tickets uh i think i want

00:17:40.460 to add on to that really it's fine i'm just just get your tickets i feel like is not is not enough

00:17:45.180 get your tickets to what is the largest influencer event that's ever happened yeah okay every single

00:17:53.640 influencer that you like and don't like is being a part of this everyone bradley martin right i'm

00:17:59.040 not even start naming them all name and influence you're gonna say riley yes bradley martin name

00:18:03.800 an influence i was gonna invite her but i couldn't cause sponsors okay what if we get porno to

00:18:08.020 sponsor name an influencer in your mind right now you watching this program you beautiful

00:18:12.100 you beautiful impulsive viewer i love you by the way name an influencer in your mind one two three

00:18:17.720 they're there why have you not bought tickets why have you not bought a flight what are you doing 1.00

00:18:21.080 sitting on your ass eating cheese it's right now idaho get your fucking tickets activate by the way 1.00

00:18:25.040 get ready to donate too because there's going to be a donation link and the money's going to charity 1.00

00:18:28.440 It's for a good cause

00:18:29.640 But I'm nervous because 0.99

00:18:31.060 My fucking hamstring guys 0.99

00:18:32.780 I'm going to sports rehab every morning 1.00

00:18:34.540 And I gotta heal my shit 0.99

00:18:36.000 How you feeling right now? 0.99

00:18:37.140 Um

00:18:37.460 I don't know

00:18:38.140 I don't know

00:18:39.360 You came in and you had like these big 1.00

00:18:41.040 Suction cup holes on your thighs 1.00

00:18:42.860 They cupped me 0.65

00:18:43.600 You ever been cupped?

00:18:44.400 Oh you got cupped?

00:18:45.200 I got cupped this morning

00:18:46.080 I've been cuffed

00:18:47.160 You've been cupped in the

00:18:47.940 Oh cuffed

00:18:48.960 No cuffed

00:18:50.400 Where the cuffs go 0.98

00:18:51.220 And they suck on your skin 0.67

00:18:52.660 Then you 0.95

00:18:53.500 Are you feeling better?

00:18:55.320 Like do you feel like you can compete?

00:18:57.040 No no

00:18:57.480 What does that do?

00:18:58.180 I don't know.

00:18:58.580 Nothing, obviously.

00:19:00.620 Might take a while to set in.

00:19:02.740 I love this place I go to,

00:19:05.100 but I question how many of the cool new experimental physical rehab things

00:19:10.420 are actually effective.

00:19:11.360 How many cuppers do you think are also anti-vaxxers?

00:19:15.240 Do you think there's a big correlation between the two?

00:19:18.760 No.

00:19:19.720 Not even close.

00:19:21.520 I don't know.

00:19:21.960 Are you saying that, Evan, in all honesty?

00:19:23.700 Did you think about what I said at all?

00:19:24.980 Yeah.

00:19:26.060 Yes.

00:19:26.780 Sorry.

00:19:27.220 yeah we thought about it but then we realized like it's not even worth thinking about 1.00

00:19:31.800 spencer did you did you get to fully download that i he asked me if i would suck a dick to 0.99

00:19:37.420 save your life and i said yes and that was just truthhood yeah that was phenomenal you know i 0.99

00:19:41.240 got you thank you bro yeah when you when you said that that it really hit home yeah it really did

00:19:46.520 would you would you do the same for me absolutely thank you bro now it's an absolutely yesterday

00:19:51.200 It wasn't an absolute leak

00:19:52.360 Before he knew I would be

00:19:54.920 So he's reciprocating energy

00:19:57.020 Was it

00:19:57.820 I don't know if it was Logan as the example

00:20:00.980 It was one of your boys

00:20:02.220 Oh you did say sure

00:20:04.480 You showed me

00:20:05.940 The greatest thing that could have happened there 1.00

00:20:09.660 Was if I asked Logan if he would suck a dick 1.00

00:20:11.580 To save my life and he said yes 1.00

00:20:12.900 And it was a lie

00:20:13.660 I should have done it

00:20:15.880 I'm just still trying to figure out the moment

00:20:19.440 In which a situation

00:20:20.880 like that would happen.

00:20:21.940 Well, they keep calling it hypothetical, 0.96

00:20:23.360 but I'm sure there's a dick ransom guy out there. 0.97

00:20:26.280 Oh, absolutely. 0.98

00:20:26.880 He's like, listen, man.

00:20:27.580 You don't know until it happens. 1.00

00:20:28.380 I'll kill everyone. 1.00

00:20:29.160 I haven't had a blowjob 1.00

00:20:30.560 since the Sadie Hawkins dance in 1972. 1.00

00:20:33.180 And if you don't fucking blow me right now, 1.00

00:20:34.780 I'm blowing your friend's head off. 1.00

00:20:36.240 Like, I'm sure it happens more than we think, bro. 0.98

00:20:39.360 I'm sure it happens more than we think, bro.

00:20:41.580 It's Sadie Hawkins. 0.99

00:20:42.720 Who the fuck is Sadie Hawkins? 0.99

00:20:44.840 It's where the girls ask the guys to the dance. 1.00

00:20:48.040 So he had some shit that really loved him 0.99

00:20:50.240 back in 72 0.98

00:20:50.980 and she was like

00:20:51.640 Johnny why don't you

00:20:52.280 come and dance with me

00:20:52.820 he hasn't gotten head sense

00:20:53.780 it's been a rough life 0.99

00:20:55.240 for that psychopath 0.99

00:20:56.060 wow 0.98

00:20:58.980 good times

00:21:00.220 alright

00:21:00.460 how long are we gonna wait 1.00

00:21:01.580 to cover the fucking 0.99

00:21:02.360 major elephant in the room 0.99

00:21:03.340 like are we gonna talk

00:21:04.280 about this

00:21:04.660 or are we gonna talk

00:21:05.380 what

00:21:05.400 I was wondering it too

00:21:07.040 how long are we gonna sit here

00:21:07.540 wait what

00:21:08.380 what do you mean wait what 0.99

00:21:09.980 you guys think I'm addicted to sex 0.96

00:21:11.600 no no no 0.98

00:21:12.660 oh okay

00:21:13.080 if the elephant's not big enough

00:21:15.000 for him to know

00:21:15.520 then let's just keep moving

00:21:16.220 maybe he's gonna

00:21:16.660 what's the elephant

00:21:17.200 bro I got attacked 1.00

00:21:18.180 by the fucking little brother 1.00

00:21:18.960 oh okay 1.00

00:21:19.560 I mean literally

00:21:20.160 shot the view count up to 70,000

00:21:22.280 concurrent viewers. It's been the talk

00:21:24.360 of the internet today.

00:21:26.180 That's right. You and Jake went at it.

00:21:28.360 But you held your ground and it looks

00:21:30.320 like from this angle

00:21:32.220 the audience has sided with Hey Big Mike.

00:21:34.620 It's not really an angle thing. It's pretty

00:21:36.200 conclusive. It's pretty conclusive.

00:21:37.800 It was my calm

00:21:40.420 and professional approach asking

00:21:42.080 for him to say. I'm not going to lie. You were

00:21:44.220 on and the moment you started 1.00

00:21:45.720 rebuttaling him, I was like, fuck dude. 0.99

00:21:48.160 Mike is just so much more eloquent and 0.99

00:21:50.140 on right now than jake is currently and he doesn't stand a chance when you ask him to cite

00:21:54.640 examples of you being a clout chaser and whatever selfish and if you i did this to you on your

00:22:02.140 episode i was like if you can't provide examples it's tough but i will side with jake yeah because

00:22:07.620 wait side with jake totally just on this one point that he made he's like yo i'm not the type

00:22:13.200 of person to like write things down you know what i'm saying like like there's a circumstance

00:22:17.140 that strikes him

00:22:18.280 and makes him feel a certain way

00:22:19.740 and he clocks his feeling

00:22:21.020 but doesn't write down the event.

00:22:22.440 My thought on that quickly

00:22:23.860 and I just have like a little thing

00:22:25.220 that I want to say

00:22:25.720 is normally if he said

00:22:27.820 there's been multiple examples

00:22:28.900 that have proven this thesis,

00:22:30.180 usually you're able to recall one of them.

00:22:31.840 Yeah.

00:22:32.080 You know, something that made you feel that way

00:22:33.920 and the one that he brought up

00:22:34.900 was unfortunately not his fault

00:22:37.560 but he was lied to

00:22:38.700 like about some all-inclusive trip

00:22:41.340 that I went on 0.97

00:22:42.000 that never fucking happened. 0.96

00:22:43.340 Do you know what I'm saying? 0.98

00:22:44.900 Gotta gather the facts.

00:22:46.240 quickly here's a fact one was in contact with jake uh tried to contact jake last night sent

00:22:52.000 him a very long text message today i do want to talk to him i want to sit and talk with him

00:22:55.680 um i i have no appetite to continue this whatsoever i'm gonna say one last thing on

00:23:02.840 it today and then i'm never talking about this ever again respect i i no matter if i was pushed

00:23:10.120 to do it or if i did it because i thought it was funny i should not be taking jabs shots whatever

00:23:15.840 you want to call that someone that's in our quote-unquote family and really in his family

00:23:19.980 but in our quote-unquote extended family he is he's a younger brother of mine um not by blood

00:23:25.980 but by relationship there's no reason for me to be doing that but devil's avocados 0.99

00:23:30.960 he took some shots he he did so what are you gonna just roll over and be a bitch not really 0.98

00:23:39.360 but maybe but maybe maybe you just take the high road when it comes to family members he did he did 1.00

00:23:44.060 the reason i went off in sweden and said stuff about his friends was when he called me a dick

00:23:49.420 rider he was joking and that was a weird thing about it to me too like you launch an insult out

00:23:54.180 someone else wants an insult back theirs is a little bit worse but i took all the blame on that

00:23:58.640 like he he kind of kicked it off anyways i don't want to play the blame game jake paul i am sorry

00:24:04.280 for saying the things that i said about you i'm sure you've got great friends you've got a great

00:24:08.000 family i want nothing more than to be cool with you your brother's my best friend i love you and

00:24:13.600 i hope that um we can we can square this all away and make it right and uh and also yeah that's it

00:24:20.100 it was entertaining though bro yeah that's like it really was like the people the people liked it a

00:24:24.420 lot of the comments said that was the fit their favorite part unfortunately i hate unfortunately 0.98

00:24:28.580 i hate when drama is the favorite part like i have no appetite for that shit there was just there 0.98

00:24:33.000 was like literally everything about yesterday's shit i wouldn't be surprised if that was one of 0.98

00:24:38.240 the best live shows ever on youtube everything about that there was there was so much happening 0.91

00:24:43.200 and so many good things went down.

00:24:45.280 Remember when the aliens from Area 51

00:24:46.960 somehow showed up?

00:24:48.800 Yeah, that was interesting.

00:24:50.160 And he happened to be

00:24:52.400 in the skin of the Russian guy that I boxed. 0.96

00:24:56.040 He somehow took on that 1.00

00:24:57.120 vicarious form. 0.98

00:24:58.040 He's a shapeshifter. 1.00

00:24:58.800 In that skin and a costume of an alien. 1.00

00:25:00.980 Like a fake costume of an alien.

00:25:02.900 He had two costumes on.

00:25:04.220 That was odd.

00:25:05.120 And that girl that you won

00:25:06.140 just so happened to also be the other alien.

00:25:08.500 He's like, you can't change your mind.

00:25:10.860 She can only change her mind. 1.00

00:25:11.900 Only girls can change their mind 0.98

00:25:13.880 I hope I make the right decisions in life 1.00

00:25:16.260 Because I would hate to be indecisive 1.00

00:25:18.020 Only girls can change their mind 1.00

00:25:19.740 Not sure that's how it works 0.94

00:25:22.680 Is that an accurate statement sir?

00:25:24.600 I don't think so

00:25:25.300 I've been thinking a lot about this Area 51 thing guys

00:25:28.640 Are we going to go?

00:25:30.080 Maybe

00:25:30.340 Set up shop

00:25:31.520 Maybe

00:25:32.480 Set up shop in the Sprinter

00:25:33.900 Do a little podcast

00:25:35.280 You want to do it?

00:25:36.000 I don't know

00:25:36.240 You don't think we could get a sick piece of content

00:25:40.120 Just talking to you

00:25:40.980 outside the gates i don't know if i want to go in there huh no but here's the problem 0.97

00:25:46.120 u.s carpet bombing is not the most accurate okay and so when when these mother hear me out

00:25:53.040 when these 2.4 or 2.6 million extremely strange people storm area 51 and there is what's called a

00:26:01.980 precision airstrike they're not always precise schools get hit all kinds of horrible things

00:26:07.640 happen so say we're outside the red zone talking to people i'm not trying to take an icbm to the

00:26:13.660 head that's the last thing i want bro and by the way why would an intercontinental ballistic missile

00:26:19.100 be dropped from a plane why did i say that yeah it's on the same continent it's the same continent 1.00

00:26:23.560 it's coming from the air dude what's wrong with me like why would you say that dude fuck 0.97

00:26:29.260 maybe we set that play out i don't know it it's just legendary if it actually happens 0.99

00:26:34.680 it really is we might go

00:26:36.480 comment below if you think we should go

00:26:38.300 we might hit that what was your least

00:26:41.020 favorite thing that happened on the show last night

00:26:42.680 yesterday it was all great

00:26:44.640 I think

00:26:46.880 I'm not gonna lie I was really unhappy with the audience

00:26:51.020 dude I was just really

00:26:52.900 unhappy with the audience they would get really loud

00:26:54.760 at some points too yeah because Dylan forced them

00:26:57.020 no no I'm talking about like they would talk

00:26:58.700 I think he threw like a piece of meat into the crowd a couple times

00:27:01.180 and stirred them up

00:27:02.440 yeah they went for it what's good with that like your your your half real half fake girlfriend was

00:27:08.980 in the crowd even she couldn't spark up some applause like what's good can we cut this at

00:27:14.820 its head right now like literally or metaphor no like no like where is this coming from i don't

00:27:20.440 know you're the one that lied about it i asked a simple question and you were you to a 20-year

00:27:27.720 veteran of polygraphy it's true there's it's true i don't even think i don't even know if are you

00:27:33.020 aware of what it means to date someone again that's what i said yesterday i think i have a

00:27:37.760 skewed version of reality yeah like in her mind bro yeah but you didn't base your answer on what's

00:27:43.760 in her mind no but your answer on what's in your mind in my mind like it's in his subconscious

00:27:47.800 god damn clear that i don't think i don't even like talking about can we talk about the

00:27:53.140 conversation you had prior to the show yeah okay i again i hate using names and stuff but there's a

00:27:58.240 girl here no they know no no no no listen there's a girl and i i took her aside before the show

00:28:05.160 started and i was like hey you're gonna hear some things that you don't want to hear and i know

00:28:08.600 you're so sweet such a sweet girl and i'm so sorry for this um but i need you to not take anything

00:28:14.520 personal and understand that i'm playing uh to the camera and the audience and i'm gonna try to

00:28:18.740 block the live audience out even though this may hurt your feelings like i did warn her that's good

00:28:23.560 i did do that by the way he prefaced that entire statement with hey mike maybe you should be a part

00:28:30.400 of this well i was gonna do it alone but mike was like mike mike walks by at the best times

00:28:34.480 always like this by the way always like this he goes i was in some always on his phone smiling

00:28:41.100 and i was like yes mike and i walked over and he goes unnamed female i may say some things tonight

00:28:48.340 that will offend you

00:28:49.080 and I go

00:28:49.500 mom

00:28:50.780 dinner

00:28:51.280 now

00:28:51.900 and literally ran

00:28:52.900 out of the room

00:28:53.440 well by the way 1.00

00:28:54.900 your mom grinded 1.00

00:29:00.880 on MGK

00:29:00.900 I hate that I exploit

00:29:01.620 my life for this 0.96

00:29:02.500 my mom did grind 1.00

00:29:03.240 on MGK 0.99

00:29:04.000 that was weird

00:29:05.200 I don't know

00:29:05.500 she didn't like

00:29:06.440 grind on him 1.00

00:29:07.400 she's a hoe dude 1.00

00:29:08.260 I mean 1.00

00:29:09.300 Pam's not

00:29:11.460 ew no 0.97

00:29:12.280 bro like

00:29:12.900 like bro 0.74

00:29:13.940 she was

00:29:14.380 she was twerking

00:29:15.540 upside down 1.00

00:29:16.480 with her ass 1.00

00:29:17.260 in Coulson's face 1.00

00:29:18.120 How is she not a ho? 1.00

00:29:19.360 The Diplo Express herself. 1.00

00:29:20.800 Yes, it did. 0.97

00:29:21.220 She wall-twerked. 1.00

00:29:22.580 She wall-twerked with a blunt and a 40, dude. 0.91

00:29:25.700 No, I didn't. 1.00

00:29:26.100 Okay.

00:29:26.640 Were you there?

00:29:27.520 Watch the footage.

00:29:28.460 Actually, I think you were there, weren't you?

00:29:29.760 Yeah, I was 100% there.

00:29:31.120 Well, that makes it pretty tricky for me to argue this case.

00:29:33.760 I did not expect that.

00:29:35.480 Spencer, what was your least favorite part of the show?

00:29:38.160 I didn't really have one.

00:29:40.740 I know, because you're all positive and vegan and air.

00:29:43.660 Make something up.

00:29:45.100 Make something up.

00:29:45.940 Dude, there had to be one. 0.94

00:29:46.700 We confronted your girlfriend about crying during sex.

00:29:49.560 Anything. 0.69

00:29:50.100 Oh, yeah.

00:29:51.000 She reposted it on Instagram.

00:29:52.980 That wasn't bad.

00:29:55.300 What do you got?

00:29:55.980 Dude, I got nothing. 1.00

00:29:57.220 Damn. 0.99

00:29:57.500 It was incredible. 1.00

00:29:58.300 It was a great show.

00:29:59.080 We pulled it off.

00:30:00.100 Like, that's internet history.

00:30:01.960 Oh.

00:30:02.380 Can I give my words quickly?

00:30:05.760 I want to touch on sweating and nerves.

00:30:07.860 And you talked about yourself having a panic attack the whole time.

00:30:10.620 Yeah.

00:30:10.820 The studio audience paired with the fact that any one thing I said could be my ultimate downfall

00:30:15.680 or the downfall of this show. 1.00

00:30:17.460 Dylan with the god dang fucking clipboard. 1.00

00:30:21.260 Piercing, piercing. 1.00

00:30:22.440 I'm like, Dylan, chill out.

00:30:23.440 Like, there's just so much going on.

00:30:24.720 And so I was at, at any moment in that show,

00:30:26.880 I was, but seconds from a sweating attack.

00:30:29.580 But seconds, bro, okay?

00:30:31.060 And the whole show, I had one good friend.

00:30:34.560 My biggest fan, some would say.

00:30:35.900 He's quite small,

00:30:36.580 but he is the most important thing in my life, okay?

00:30:39.160 And Banks came to the show and he said,

00:30:40.860 Mike, the only way I'll ever do impulsive

00:30:42.620 is if I sit in your seat.

00:30:43.820 He likes the idea of taking my seat.

00:30:45.180 i said banks you're a friend of mine you can do it the problem was not that he took my seat

00:30:49.580 the problem is he took the fan the fan stayed with the seat so i ended up and tucked in the

00:30:55.080 corner up there no headphones with your button down with my butt one button down no fan just 0.99

00:31:01.660 fucking sweating yeah just sweating like i popped up fucking molly dude after 10 years clean 0.99

00:31:07.120 like it was bad yeah no one could save me dude you were struggling you and since um you were 0.99

00:31:12.520 sitting to my right you were right here you looked smaller too i was big mike was now just little

00:31:18.440 mike sweaty little mike sweaty little mike bro he was there and he he kept he gave me this look like 0.98

00:31:24.560 15 times like who the fuck is you oh dude yeah mgk was he was kind of spicy yeah he was going after 0.99

00:31:30.620 you well me banks he went after everyone he's spicy he's a spicy man on yeah he came on it he 0.99

00:31:36.160 rocked it bro and after the show he someone had had to tell him that he threw a knife at banks

00:31:42.380 he goes oh i did that's awesome hell yeah nice yeah that's good yeah i had some tea i had some

00:31:49.360 tea i was trying to spill and that got him mad too yeah oh he didn't want that we're not again

00:31:54.300 we ain't spilling that tea now either i'll tell you that much our last thing i want is mgk

00:31:57.840 shooting up my playground all right i don't know can i definitely cut that okay all right fine

00:32:02.760 evan i know you're the king of cards i am can you mark that please hey did you no i bet that'll

00:32:08.660 it's fine did you did you i know you didn't but did you like the uh conversation with andy from

00:32:13.760 firefest i did i actually i enjoyed it it was interesting uh you know hearing such a eloquent

00:32:20.560 speaker i was about to say i like listening to him he was good yeah he's good i i am shocked

00:32:26.040 that he's thinking about doing well i thought it was very interesting that he owns a sustainable

00:32:31.340 music festival company but he's willing to soak cork for 250 000 water bottles what was the word

00:32:39.520 what was the so cork so cork is that have you heard that one before yeah for sure yeah it's 0.83

00:32:45.060 a jimmy fallon skit yeah oh yeah if you need to feel uncultured you're a cork soaker yeah you 0.99

00:32:50.020 so cork i feel like an uncultured swine right now swine uh swine flu it wasn't that i didn't 0.94

00:32:56.260 enjoyed uh it just it was at a time when uh the show was at its messiest bro by the way i saw you 0.64

00:33:02.620 trying to accept evan you get when we talk about socially like tough issues you get a little you

00:33:08.100 get a little clammed up are you are you doing all right we're talking about men on men bjs

00:33:11.980 playground shootings like what are you all right yeah all right fine man what playground shootings

00:33:17.760 have we talked about what do you i just said are you high did you smoke peyote again uh palo gave

00:33:25.160 me cbd bro and i think it might have been oh he was handing everyone cbd yesterday bro he gave me

00:33:30.100 two cards of cbd i'm like pete what is this he goes that's the company you're in i said i said

00:33:38.020 oh okay thank you and i was and they're gummies you know and then i didn't see him for the rest

00:33:44.600 of the night he took a whole bottle of them and fell asleep in the hammock out front he did i don't

00:33:49.320 a lot of cbd here um i got pierced i got my belly button pierced do you still have that

00:33:55.580 took it out bro you already took it out yeah and i think it's infected oh really can we see that

00:34:00.060 quick can we get a belly would that be another reason to skip the challenger games you're just

00:34:03.440 getting fried over here bro what if your stomach implodes oh wow that looks terrible that's not

00:34:08.320 infected that's not too bad it's not infected at all it's just a little bug bite all right well

00:34:12.400 how bad was that pain though it was horrible like pot the worst pain you've ever experienced

00:34:16.960 No, no, God.

00:34:18.060 But no, no, no.

00:34:18.980 It was bad.

00:34:19.500 It was really bad.

00:34:20.280 And I felt where he went through.

00:34:23.080 Bro, he went through like a centimeter of skin.

00:34:25.140 Like the thick part.

00:34:26.600 Yeah.

00:34:28.040 Yeah, it was really bad, man.

00:34:29.420 And I questioned why I did that.

00:34:32.200 I guess for entertainment.

00:34:33.340 You're welcome.

00:34:34.520 Hit that subscribe button.

00:34:36.120 And Spencer also got a tattoo.

00:34:37.620 I did.

00:34:38.100 Are you second guessing that?

00:34:39.520 No, not at all.

00:34:40.180 That one.

00:34:40.560 That's awesome.

00:34:41.280 This is dope. 0.90

00:34:41.940 It's dope.

00:34:42.320 Yeah, that came out really good.

00:34:43.780 It did. 0.98

00:34:44.480 That guy killed it.

00:34:45.060 What was his name?

00:34:45.680 Daniel Silva.

00:34:46.960 And he did the tattoo on your arm, too, right?

00:34:49.340 Oh, he did that, too?

00:34:50.680 The tungsten light bulb?

00:34:51.900 Oh, my God.

00:34:53.160 No, let's talk about it.

00:34:54.680 We're really going to talk about it right now.

00:34:55.600 Yeah, we are.

00:34:56.180 Here we are.

00:34:56.720 Evan got this light bulb tattooed on his arm, and there's a brain in it.

00:35:01.260 And what is it?

00:35:02.080 Left brain, right brain, creative versus logic.

00:35:04.260 Yes.

00:35:04.980 The issue that all of us are having.

00:35:06.700 No, no, not all of us.

00:35:07.780 Just you.

00:35:08.460 And Mike.

00:35:08.980 Just you.

00:35:09.460 No, only me by way of you.

00:35:11.560 Like, you convinced me.

00:35:12.680 Jake said the same thing.

00:35:13.740 I'm going to chime in here.

00:35:14.400 Because of you.

00:35:15.380 it's called groupthink and you're perpetuating it the light bulb is a bit dated and it has

00:35:24.000 a very evident tungsten filling now tungsten tungsten wait tungsten also known as wolf room

00:35:31.600 that's why it's the w on the periodic table tungsten is no longer used in most light bulbs 0.71

00:35:37.640 there's no w here this is an edison bulb okay get your facts right you guys are a bunch of sheep

00:35:43.420 I didn't say any floss with sheep

00:35:45.300 That is an Edison bulb

00:35:47.520 No it is not

00:35:48.900 How do you figure

00:35:51.600 Edison bulbs can do any assortment of things

00:35:54.380 Edison bulbs have coils bro

00:35:55.180 That is a horizontal filament

00:35:57.840 Pull up yours 0.77

00:35:58.800 Pull up yours

00:35:59.480 I'm just saying fluorescent bulbs are in

00:36:03.540 Tungsten bulbs dude

00:36:04.880 That looks a lot closer

00:36:05.940 They're the same thing

00:36:06.800 Tell me that's not exactly what's on Amazon

00:36:10.400 Spencer I'm sorry

00:36:11.560 Can I make a quick note on this?

00:36:15.540 Here's the thing about the tungsten bulb.

00:36:17.360 What's wrong with the tungsten bulb?

00:36:18.380 That's what I'm saying.

00:36:19.060 They're dated.

00:36:19.900 No, no, no.

00:36:20.900 No, no, no.

00:36:21.400 That's fine.

00:36:22.020 Dated is not the word.

00:36:23.260 Why would I get that tatted?

00:36:24.780 Because it's fluorescent. 0.99

00:36:25.520 Why the fuck would I get that tatted? 0.98

00:36:27.620 Because it's 2019, dude. 0.99

00:36:29.100 It is more efficient.

00:36:30.400 It is more efficient.

00:36:31.680 It is so much more efficient.

00:36:33.040 Okay.

00:36:33.480 I got nowhere to go.

00:36:34.340 I'll wait on this point that will shut the whole conversation down.

00:36:37.220 All right, go.

00:36:37.680 Let's go.

00:36:38.980 Just because something is old, i.e. me,

00:36:41.260 i.e. Metallica

00:36:42.480 i.e. Metallica

00:36:44.080 i.e. Pyramids

00:36:45.540 i.e. Led Zeppelin

00:36:46.480 doesn't mean they're not 0.99

00:36:47.480 the motherfucking 0.95

00:36:48.220 best things going bro 0.98

00:36:49.740 the kid got

00:36:51.020 something dope

00:36:52.480 classic

00:36:53.440 and the epitome

00:36:55.520 of light

00:36:56.540 and lighthood

00:36:58.240 tattooed on his arm

00:36:59.700 yeah

00:37:00.000 okay

00:37:00.380 and wanna know what else 0.99

00:37:01.600 Evan is a fucking classic 0.99

00:37:03.380 bro 0.99

00:37:03.780 that the

00:37:04.480 the day Evan goes out of style

00:37:06.420 will be the day that I

00:37:08.100 am not

00:37:09.800 it won't happen okay and and here's the thing i'm with you're never gonna go out of style i'm

00:37:16.560 with you because you're getting feedback from someone who has a squirtle tattooed next to his 0.99

00:37:20.820 penis and then uh a woman with a tiger eating the woman's head and a sword going through it 0.99

00:37:28.620 telling you that your tattoo i did not say i did not say anything there wait i'm not saying it's 0.93

00:37:34.600 insufficient. Squirtles don't wear

00:37:36.760 sunglasses, Logan. You know this. 1.00

00:37:38.960 Mine does. You know this. And he's cool as fuck.

00:37:40.760 It's not realistic. When you say he's cool as fuck, 0.99

00:37:42.820 you hate him. I hate him, man. 1.00

00:37:45.720 I'm such a dumb tattoo. 1.00

00:37:48.300 What else? 1.00

00:37:49.900 I'm so...

00:37:50.860 I get so much

00:37:52.900 pleasure seeing how different people react.

00:37:55.140 Mainly girls. I'm talking about girls, you know?

00:37:57.160 Have you ever had someone that's, like, excited

00:37:59.000 about it? Yeah. Oh, for sure.

00:38:01.020 And by the way, those are, like, the coolest girls

00:38:02.740 because they're probably like weird and quirky like me.

00:38:04.540 You know what I'm saying?

00:38:04.980 That's a good call out 1.00

00:38:05.940 because some girl that I have like a little bit of a crush on,

00:38:09.400 it's a digital crush, but we're like talking. 0.99

00:38:11.300 She's like a huge anime. 1.00

00:38:14.380 She goes to like the Comic Con shit 0.99

00:38:16.120 and like she takes pictures with Rick and Morty. 0.99

00:38:17.920 Like she's not popping bottles at the club

00:38:19.620 because she's hanging out with Rick and Morty 1.00

00:38:20.940 dressed as some fucking anime chick. 1.00

00:38:24.960 Like that's dope. 1.00

00:38:25.820 If you're an anime chick and you're out there, you're cool.

00:38:28.000 If you're Rick and Morty, you're cool.

00:38:29.880 Do you guys know who Belle Delphine is?

00:38:32.740 let me pull up this girl real quick pull it up let's yo let's talk about girls for the rest of 0.70

00:38:37.780 the episode i've all it's such a great thing to talk about the female gender belle delphine um 0.99

00:38:43.640 i talked to this girl a little bit she went viral recently she's like a um what is it called

00:38:48.960 cosplay yeah well that's i think yeah but she she's popping right now for 4.5 million followers

00:38:56.100 look at this engagement 615 000 likes 620 000 likes 813 000 likes and she like bro like but 1.00

00:39:02.120 she's kind of dirty, bro. 1.00

00:39:04.140 See, that's a Bulbasaur on her t-shirt, though. 1.00

00:39:05.900 That's what I'm saying. Don't underestimate Pokemon.

00:39:08.260 So this is potential wifey, then.

00:39:10.500 That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying 0.94

00:39:12.060 I spoke with her a little bit, because she did this thing 0.98

00:39:14.100 where she... What does that comment from Lulu

00:39:15.960 Debris say? 0.67

00:39:17.780 Oh, no. I don't want to read

00:39:20.180 that. Can someone else read it?

00:39:22.500 I don't know. Or should we just skip that one?

00:39:24.140 Let me just skip it.

00:39:26.000 Cut that.

00:39:28.440 Look at the comments. They're horrible.

00:39:30.280 You can't put anything on this video 0.98

00:39:32.200 Any girl who's doing stuff like this is gonna get hate 1.00

00:39:34.800 Cause especially like 1.00

00:39:35.880 She sold her bath water 1.00

00:39:40.660 She put her bath water 0.98

00:39:42.800 In cartons and sold it

00:39:44.720 See

00:39:44.980 And people bought it

00:39:46.740 The gamer boys love her

00:39:48.900 They love her

00:39:50.520 And it's this weird phenomenon

00:39:52.060 Cause she's like a really pretty girl you can see 1.00

00:39:54.160 But she's making bank from selling her bath water 1.00

00:39:57.260 And she drinks it 1.00

00:39:58.180 A lot of them do. 0.98

00:39:59.060 I'm friends with the girl.

00:40:00.600 Are we in the wrong business?

00:40:02.060 I think so.

00:40:02.960 That's what, when I talked to her, she told me to do something like this.

00:40:07.120 What did she say?

00:40:07.580 I think my like socks or something. 0.96

00:40:09.180 And maybe she's right.

00:40:10.520 You were going to sell your armpit hair or your beard.

00:40:13.020 My beard.

00:40:13.500 I was going to sell my beard.

00:40:14.580 You can't do it on eBay though.

00:40:15.960 And I think you, I think I would have to sit there and package.

00:40:19.700 Well, you wouldn't Danny trimmings.

00:40:21.640 Danny.

00:40:22.100 I don't want to make her do that though.

00:40:23.960 And also there's a different type of sentiment for a really pretty girl.

00:40:28.180 and like a really pretty guy gamer dudes gamer dudes yeah like i'm honest gamer dudes will buy 0.69

00:40:34.960 and do anything this girl says because that's their like dream and they're making guap nowadays

00:40:39.460 gaming is gaming is is bro gaming's huge next weekend this comes when does this come out friday

00:40:44.160 next uh next weekend not this one coming up with the one after new york is the uh world cup is it

00:40:50.300 fortnight i think it's the fortnight same day as challenger games same day as challenger games

00:40:53.520 great planning on your part thanks a lot dude you don't know it's not extremely different

00:40:58.060 audience sure but i also wanted banks and rice and all that rice rice will be there all right

00:41:03.040 what's happening where are you serious oh he's walking um you're the first guest to ever walk

00:41:08.000 off the show twice no you're the first guest to walk twice yeah you're the first guest to walk

00:41:14.500 twice um so anyways the world cup of gaming i don't know what it's called if somebody could

00:41:19.460 look it up has a 30 million dollar prize purse wow like think about imagine winning the duos

00:41:25.640 tournament for Fortnite

00:41:27.560 and them writing you

00:41:28.240 a check for $10 million.

00:41:29.760 Wait.

00:41:30.240 Can you please look it up?

00:41:31.380 I'll look it up.

00:41:31.880 What, the prize purse?

00:41:32.720 Yeah. 0.86

00:41:33.400 I'd rather look at this girl

00:41:34.460 if I'm being honest.

00:41:35.060 Also, there's another 0.98

00:41:36.060 game chick that I'm friends with

00:41:37.200 or a cosplayer

00:41:37.740 named Meg Turney.

00:41:39.220 Are you able to pull her up 0.88

00:41:40.460 or do you not care enough?

00:41:41.320 No, because the cosplay thing

00:41:43.140 is interesting to me.

00:41:44.020 It's a whole other...

00:41:45.260 It's a whole new world.

00:41:46.160 She's an OG,

00:41:47.240 so she's not the same.

00:41:48.740 Oh, you're friends with me?

00:41:49.180 But similar kind of stuff, bro.

00:41:50.640 They get dressed up

00:41:52.060 and there's a whole industry.

00:41:53.540 And that dude is Gavin Free,

00:41:55.120 her her husband i think and they're ah yeah they get dressed up yeah you see what i'm saying bro

00:42:00.600 i i'm so intrigued by it because i don't know much about it i'd like to know more

00:42:05.400 you know should we go comic-con this weekend comic-con this weekend yeah it's this weekend

00:42:09.760 can we get in can we find a way to get in of course let's wait is it in san diego yes

00:42:14.900 saturday only the girl that i have i can only go saturday because i'm going to new york sunday

00:42:21.180 if you're in new york it's about i'll be there too can i say this the girl i have the digital

00:42:25.940 crush on is is at comic con this weekend should we go like flowers or something so is my ex

00:42:32.780 what would you guys dress up as me yeah i'm gonna dress up as his ex it might be a little weird but

00:42:39.180 could be uh oh i have a shirt squirtle i have a shirt that that was my ex probably good i'll

00:42:47.120 probably wear that no actually why don't we get why don't we do the whole nine and get dressed

00:42:51.400 like get dressed as characters bro can we do that danny can you could you saturday we can go to 0.98

00:42:55.520 comic-con we should go let's do that i'll be yoda that's dope yeah let's go fuck around at comic-con 0.95

00:43:02.000 can you start looking up costumes no i mean now not no i'm just kidding all right let's go to 0.98

00:43:06.160 comic-con fuck it no but comic-con's fun oh wait are we going or no i want to go okay i went last 0.77

00:43:12.340 It was awesome. 0.98

00:43:12.920 It was great.

00:43:16.320 This is good.

00:43:17.440 Hold on.

00:43:17.900 Stick with the silence for a second.

00:43:19.920 Any silence that we do

00:43:23.780 will be the longest silence in Impulse of History.

00:43:38.420 You broke it.

00:43:39.360 Yeah.

00:43:39.600 I mean, she didn't laugh.

00:43:40.880 No, you broke it, bro.

00:43:42.240 Danny did you laugh

00:43:43.600 You're funny and just like a nice angel

00:43:47.120 Are you a sheep Mike

00:43:48.600 Huh yeah I didn't think you were 0.74

00:43:50.640 I was gonna make a joke but I'm refraining

00:43:53.300 How you guys feel about hand jobs

00:43:54.540 About what I really am can you imagine what I was gonna say

00:43:56.860 How you guys feel about hand jobs 1.00

00:43:58.440 No a fucking lion 1.00

00:44:00.120 No it's not another animal hand jobs went out 1.00

00:44:02.200 Right around Sadie Hawkins

00:44:03.440 I'll be honest 1.00

00:44:06.020 Some girl tried to give me a hand job 1.00

00:44:08.680 A couple weeks ago and literally 0.65

00:44:10.400 I'm like sitting there looking at her doing it

00:44:12.160 And she's like, wow, I thought you'd be more excited about this. 0.99

00:44:14.880 I'm like, yeah, my dick, you're really not even getting me hard. 1.00

00:44:17.120 You're just sitting there with your dry ass bench press hands trying to jerk me off at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. 1.00

00:44:24.200 How excited do you expect me to get? 1.00

00:44:26.840 Like, you know what I'm thinking about right now?

00:44:29.080 Lunch. 0.99

00:44:29.900 Okay, if my brain goes to lunch while you're trying to give me a fucking old fashioned behind a dumpster at the public library in Milford, Connecticut, 0.99

00:44:38.360 what are we doing here bro 1.00

00:44:41.100 woman bro 0.98

00:44:42.900 like you can't do something 1.00

00:44:44.960 why did she

00:44:45.820 do it dry

00:44:47.680 you know what I'm talking about 1.00

00:44:49.040 you don't know what I'm talking about but you know her dude 1.00

00:44:50.740 why does it have to be dry

00:44:53.780 that's what I'm saying bro

00:44:54.560 because here's what she said halfway through it also

00:44:56.780 that was harmful

00:44:57.340 she was like

00:44:58.440 should I do it

00:45:01.660 she's like I don't want to make you upset

00:45:05.260 while I do this but I do have to tell you

00:45:06.920 I have a boyfriend

00:45:07.640 I remember this

00:45:09.700 I'm like yo 0.99

00:45:10.420 As if you couldn't have made this handjob 1.00

00:45:14.000 Any fucking worse 1.00

00:45:15.920 Any worse 0.98

00:45:17.540 And I'm sitting there now at this point

00:45:19.160 I'm like yo like 0.91

00:45:19.860 Have you ever jerked off a rubber band 0.95

00:45:22.020 Because that's what you're doing right now 1.00

00:45:23.460 You're playing with a piece of fucking salmon 1.00

00:45:26.020 Salmon 1.00

00:45:29.140 Like what's good lady

00:45:30.500 Like bring something to the party 1.00

00:45:33.120 Besides a fucking play 0.99

00:45:35.260 Bro but 0.99

00:45:36.020 my opinion

00:45:37.560 and I feel like

00:45:38.300 you're on the same page

00:45:39.180 Spence

00:45:39.460 you can't underestimate 1.00

00:45:40.400 a good H-J 1.00

00:45:41.180 it's true 1.00

00:45:41.480 you can't

00:45:42.340 it's true

00:45:42.760 if they do it right

00:45:44.160 that's why

00:45:44.800 bro like

00:45:45.400 sometimes I'll

00:45:47.640 go out of my way

00:45:48.200 and I'll ask

00:45:48.820 politely of course

00:45:49.820 just like

00:45:50.500 it's a

00:45:51.160 excuse me

00:45:51.840 can I please have

00:45:53.000 the filet mignon

00:45:53.980 yeah

00:45:54.460 excuse me

00:45:55.020 may I

00:45:55.520 can you please 1.00

00:45:56.320 give me a handjob 0.99

00:45:56.920 and 1.00

00:45:58.000 I tried to do it

00:46:00.140 the other day 1.00

00:46:00.640 and a girl 0.90

00:46:00.980 she goes

00:46:01.460 she goes

00:46:01.880 Logan I'm

00:46:02.540 she goes

00:46:02.900 Logan I'm so sorry

00:46:03.520 I can't

00:46:04.020 I'm sorry 1.00

00:46:04.400 I can't give you a handjob 0.99

00:46:05.400 and uh made me sad bro but then she blew you probably is that what you're about to tell us 0.98

00:46:11.900 no no no well that's it it's just that she just wandered off into the sunset

00:46:16.960 i've never rode off on a small horse the one that got away

00:46:21.640 whatever whatever sentences i didn't see that whenever people say sentences that i think are

00:46:29.100 funny and that like when i was born i never thought i'd hear such as i'm sorry i can't give

00:46:33.740 you a hand job like she's apologizing yeah you're like thank you like i write it down and that's

00:46:38.620 when you just kind of like you just sip on your tea and you're just like well i hate whenever 0.63

00:46:43.500 girls apologize for anything sexual like when they're like um i can't i can't do this tonight

00:46:48.700 and i'm like first of all i didn't ask you we're just laying in bed like i'm be honest with you 0.85

00:46:52.460 i'm 34 years old i'm ready to go to sleep i don't give a shit if you told me that my food my uber 0.99

00:46:57.880 eats wasn't coming we'd have a fucking problem but i don't give a shit okay if you happen to 0.99

00:47:02.460 slide down my fire pole great if not i don't care dude like let's just go to bed i'm fucking tired 0.99

00:47:07.600 i gotta film 18 fucking podcasts tomorrow yo i swear to god bro ever since you have that show 0.99

00:47:13.080 the night shift you've gotten funnier dude i'm just because i'm always on camera why are you 0.97

00:47:16.980 on today you are slightly more aggressive on this show than the night shift though

00:47:21.640 which is bad like the night shift is mine because i'll be honest with you i'm having

00:47:26.880 Because you're getting that ad sense.

00:47:28.280 Let's be honest.

00:47:28.800 No, that's not why.

00:47:29.760 Because I'm having trouble.

00:47:32.800 Getting hard.

00:47:33.420 I'm having trouble.

00:47:35.580 It's fine.

00:47:36.560 There's things, yeah. 0.99

00:47:37.760 I'm having inflatable penises. 0.99

00:47:40.360 I'm having trouble. 0.99

00:47:42.200 I'll be honest with you.

00:47:43.120 I don't have my boys there.

00:47:44.340 It's becoming tough.

00:47:46.780 It's not becoming tough.

00:47:47.800 And by the way, I'll get there.

00:47:49.040 Because people have said to me, bro, you have it.

00:47:50.940 You have it.

00:47:51.580 You can do it on your own. 0.89

00:47:52.940 But like, yo, having homies with me, bro.

00:47:55.980 like we're able to bang ring

00:47:57.760 like this show is cause we're all

00:48:00.200 chilling bro

00:48:00.820 it's true it's a vibe

00:48:02.420 man I love you guys dude

00:48:04.140 oh last night I do want to tell you one other thing that happened

00:48:08.000 we walked off the set

00:48:09.700 and it was just a really stressful episode

00:48:11.860 I think a lot of people came up to me and they were like yo

00:48:13.440 sorry you had to go through that 0.98

00:48:15.540 on live air and shit it was tough bro 0.98

00:48:17.720 right and he came up to me 0.99

00:48:19.860 and I walked right out that door and he goes

00:48:21.960 hey man I just want to let you know 0.98

00:48:23.740 I fucking love you dude 0.98

00:48:25.960 and he went like this 0.99

00:48:27.480 and I go to hug him

00:48:30.500 and he shook Brad's hand.

00:48:32.340 He was talking to Brad.

00:48:33.680 He was talking to Brad, 1.00

00:48:36.020 the fucking producer, 0.99

00:48:37.440 the video guy 1.00

00:48:38.620 and I literally was like,

00:48:40.400 I feel so embarrassed right now

00:48:42.380 as if my night couldn't get any worse.

00:48:43.640 I just stole someone's salutation. 1.00

00:48:46.260 Like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:48:47.200 I do love you, 0.99

00:48:48.060 but like, let's be honest, bro.

00:48:49.760 Brad's been here for like 90% of the episodes.

00:48:52.460 He's always just switching cameras

00:48:54.180 to the highest degree of efficiency

00:48:56.120 and quality. And we fucking love 0.98

00:48:58.140 Brad. When things go wrong, Brad's always there. 0.97

00:49:00.320 He's so good, dude. He showed up on

00:49:01.940 a 30 minute notice

00:49:03.880 before. On a skateboard.

00:49:06.500 He shows up sweating with a skateboard

00:49:08.300 hand. It's like, how far did you come? He's like, 27

00:49:10.340 miles. By the way,

00:49:12.140 how fast were you going? In a blizzard.

00:49:14.200 In LA. In a blizzard. A snowstorm

00:49:16.260 blizzard. It's just like, damn, dude. 1.00

00:49:18.160 Snow blizzard. Comes in bloody. 1.00

00:49:20.640 Still switching the cameras

00:49:21.920 with blood dripping down on the buttons.

00:49:24.180 oh bro i'm well overdue to show up somewhere covered in blood oh we could make that well

00:49:29.860 overdue it's always a surprise when that one person shows up to where you are and face dripping

00:49:35.980 in blood yeah and i that i've yet to have that happen it's been a minute whenever it happens i

00:49:40.320 just don't ask you okay i just don't want to get into their business yeah cool it's that's personal

00:49:45.820 it is personal it happened to me once i fell off a log i was climbing a log and i fell and i showed

00:49:50.680 up and i don't say i i don't mind blood so i'll show up and use it as uh some sort of like a

00:49:55.080 conversation conversation icebreaker look at this picture this happened to my car once you know how

00:49:59.340 bloody i was after this wow look at my car i noticed a quarter of the front is completely

00:50:04.440 i drove it into a ravine at five in the morning but dude i just i just fell asleep no i fell

00:50:10.360 asleep the engine box gone your engine is a tree it became a garden let's show that one more time

00:50:15.180 the garden did you harvest berries from that after you crashed i was driving on i-95 and i

00:50:20.580 seemed to like i think it was a tester or something but i guess you can't drive sleeping

00:50:24.880 it's impossible doing both at the same doing one separately you could do in the tesla now

00:50:29.600 this is a infinity g35 in 2008 so you experimented you wanted to try taking a quick little i don't

00:50:36.640 think it was purposeful but i'll be honest with you i woke up in a river in a river dude i and

00:50:41.880 i kicked the door open and there's people down there sir are you okay and i and i just started

00:50:46.980 tasting this steady flow of blood and i was like oh this is good did anyone know this i have so

00:50:52.160 many untold i have so many stories here's the book coming out oh oh you know this yeah say it

00:50:59.160 yeah i know this yeah this is great i am literally pen to paper but not signed yet pen to paper on

00:51:05.280 my book contract with a massive publishing house that has that that worked on worked with jordan

00:51:11.140 del for and some other big dogs um the book's coming it's coming out i'm i'm ants bro they're

00:51:16.300 getting me a writer to to finish it or to like to clean it up and finish it and so all of these 0.75

00:51:21.580 kind of things they'll be public because i'll be honest with you i didn't hold shit back i have 0.63

00:51:27.000 every fucking bloody gut story in that book you need a uh section of of the book i don't know if 0.80

00:51:33.200 you guys have ever seen these books that have pictures in the middle yeah like like a few pages 0.96

00:51:37.460 worth of pictures you need it hey that's actually a great great call yeah that's a great call me

00:51:42.400 fat yes absolutely yeah that's dope if you like the rawest of photos that you have if you can if 0.94

00:51:48.620 you can pull some miracle shit dude and somehow become a billionaire in the next like 30 days or 0.89

00:51:55.380 so you you your book could become a movie like you're almost your story is almost epic enough 0.97

00:52:01.620 to be turned into a film what does mike have to does he have to do anything else in this life so

00:52:07.320 yes after they watch the movie they're like oh dude he's he just well because because look kind

00:52:12.080 of sucks look from from he just has the night shift like is that enough i mean the night shift's

00:52:19.440 lit no don't get me wrong but yes the the answer is yes like any person like mike made it like 0.86

00:52:25.000 especially because where he came from like he made it right but for a film to be made

00:52:29.880 this can't be the climate i will that's what i'm saying what do we got what do you got in your tank

00:52:34.520 I disagree only, and I understand that, but I disagree only because you see, like, Silver

00:52:40.700 Linings playbook, dude.

00:52:41.960 Like, he went from rehab to running in a trash bag, and I think back to rehab or something.

00:52:49.020 Like, it was an arc that went like this.

00:52:51.380 I had some really, I mean, one of the best movies ever made, dude.

00:52:53.700 Bradley Cooper crushed, like, amazing movie.

00:52:55.720 But, like, I don't think there needs to be, I think there just needs to be one core storyline,

00:52:59.380 which was, yo, we have a drug epidemic in this country.

00:53:02.160 my my story highlights that and also has some of the most visceral graphic things like the the lady

00:53:09.980 who read the my manuscript that i'd written so far was like i don't know how to say this but how

00:53:16.260 are you alive how are you alive still like this this car crash is one of one thousand things that

00:53:24.100 should have taken my life one of one it's just one little tiny thing and so she's like like i and and

00:53:29.780 by the way how is your mother still alive and i'm like yo honestly my mom should have no hair

00:53:35.640 so what's your i guess what's your purpose now in life because that's what i take away from

00:53:42.700 these stories is that when i come out it's like i meet someone who's just on a on a journey now

00:53:47.960 they're on they have their purpose quickly i want i want people to never ever ever tap out

00:53:52.860 ever ever ever tap out because i think i i think a lot of people get settled into thinking that if

00:54:01.600 they make it out of the slump they're in that they'll just be okay i want people to know that

00:54:07.080 if you make it out of the slump that you're in you're gonna be at the top of the world like you

00:54:11.700 literally can go from i was ice call i say i was at negative 99 at the end of my addiction i had

00:54:16.720 one foot in the grave i was ready to die and i had accepted it like i could have written on my

00:54:20.260 tombstone from there to where I am now is there's so much separation and so much growth that you

00:54:27.200 literally can come out of the depression you're in the anxious spell you're in whatever you're

00:54:30.800 going through right now and become the top of the world and there's a lot of people who have done

00:54:35.480 that and who are doing it's happening more and more because of digital and because of all the

00:54:38.540 things you don't need degrees and all that classic traditional stuff for so number one is my purpose

00:54:43.320 is tell people don't tap out and number two is I want to make people laugh I want to make people

00:54:46.620 laugh and i want people to just have a good time similar to logan i want to entertain

00:54:50.040 that's it that's it for right now i'm sure more stuff will come and i do want to help addicts i

00:54:54.580 do really badly want to help addicts like i want i want people to get me in touch with other addicts

00:54:59.940 so i can talk to them and make them understand point one which was not to give up got it remember

00:55:05.000 the conversation we had with ash in sweden uh i mean it was it was a lot there's a lot and i wrote

00:55:10.260 some of the notes here but he um he said you know uh have a metric for your goals so when i when i

00:55:17.460 say you know i want to be the biggest entertainer in the world good goal but there's no metric right

00:55:22.760 there's no how can i tell when i've done that measure um it's it's not a problem but it's going

00:55:27.160 to be more ideal and more effective if you have a metric for your goals some people their goal is to

00:55:31.420 i want to be a billionaire that's a metric um but ash made a comment to a super wise guy he said

00:55:37.160 he said what do you do with your billion dollars to feed your purpose so what are you going to do

00:55:42.680 with your goal to feed your purpose so find your purpose my purpose what Mike kind of just said I

00:55:50.480 believe I was put on this earth to to make people happy and to entertain them I like being the

00:55:55.160 the jester per se and so you know I'd love to make a billion dollars but how much of that am I going

00:56:02.540 to put back into the people through uh content products um whatever it is you'd say you're

00:56:10.460 honing in on that now or have you i don't know it's it's it's one of those things it takes it

00:56:15.080 takes it's gonna take a bit to digest truly you know because like make a billion dollars isn't

00:56:20.200 like a goal of mine it'd be it'd be cool like it'd be sweet the other the other thing you brought up

00:56:24.300 that i thought was really cool too was not only thinking about the goal and why you want to

00:56:32.260 achieve that goal, but also what are you willing to do or not do to get there? And so a lot of

00:56:38.800 people have this goal of being either a millionaire or a billionaire. He said, do you understand every

00:56:43.440 billionaire that I know has worked 120 hour weeks for the last 20 years? They do not see their

00:56:50.160 family. They do not enjoy time off. None of those things exist for them. And so when people have

00:56:56.000 these audacious goals of being multimillionaires or billionaires, understand what comes along with

00:57:01.400 that oh yeah most people can't accept like the actual you know what what they need to do i think

00:57:06.460 another thing too i actually put this on my instagram story like two weeks ago i think people

00:57:11.520 who are but they're probably hearing this and they're saying well i don't know what my purpose

00:57:15.040 is i feel lost like how do i find it i think the biggest thing you can do is just take an uncertain

00:57:21.200 step forward if you don't know like the worst thing you can do is take no step forward or step

00:57:26.420 backward but the best thing you can do if you don't know your purpose is at least take an

00:57:31.140 uncertain step forward i love uncertain steps when you you know first went to rehab like that's a

00:57:37.980 very uncertain step like you moving to hollywood uncertain step you you know cutting out weed

00:57:43.560 that's an uncertain step like all of us have those that we're taking every day it should be scary

00:57:48.160 yeah it should make you uncomfortable so i think people that get too hung up on like oh well you

00:57:52.460 know what's my purpose like i feel lost well just take a step forward like that you don't know

00:57:57.860 what you're doing just take it there is an incredible quote about indecision that i'm

00:58:02.400 looking for right now um that is um i think it's something like um the right decision is

00:58:12.080 the best the wrong decision is not great the worst decision or the worst decision is indecision

00:58:21.500 like basically like indecision is the worst thing you can ever do yeah the worst thing so if you're

00:58:25.480 faced with a decision in life and you do nothing that is always and will always be the worst thing

00:58:31.360 you could ever do if you do something wrong you will learn from it if you do something right great

00:58:35.560 job you did something right but not doing anything and staying stuck in life is the worst thing and

00:58:40.660 i think like you the point you just made kind of almost lean towards fake until you make it a little

00:58:44.680 bit just do just start doing stuff like be what you want to be do it until you are be decisive

00:58:49.640 that's a that's a big that's a big also like character note too like how

00:58:53.420 how annoying is it if you've dated someone and you're like

00:58:57.120 hey where do you want to go to eat i don't care it's you yeah

00:59:00.780 tell me where you want to go to really don't care okay let's go to maestro's

00:59:05.700 and when you're at maestro's i really wasn't in the mood for steak tonight

00:59:09.320 you said you didn't care lady be decisive be opinionated like one of the

00:59:15.260 What are the traits that I am looking for 1.00

00:59:18.160 In my future wife 1.00

00:59:19.780 I want this bitch to be opinionated 1.00

00:59:22.440 I want her to care about things 1.00

00:59:24.360 And express those viewpoints to me

00:59:26.660 With emphasis

00:59:28.280 And oomph

00:59:29.300 Yeah with some pizazz

00:59:31.580 What are you looking at Michael?

00:59:33.060 I want to find the quote

00:59:34.300 If someone knows what I'm talking about

00:59:37.800 Please post it

00:59:39.000 Absolutely insane episode 101

00:59:42.760 Like I mean honestly

00:59:44.140 you're saying no this one this one i feel like we just went all over the place yeah we did in a

00:59:49.080 great way in a real good way so what's the next chapter looking like impulsive 101 and beyond

00:59:54.760 ah that's a great question or how about 102 and beyond we gotta do another live because it's

00:59:59.760 yeah you're right it's fine we gotta do another live i'm not sure if we should do it at 150 if

01:00:06.320 we should do it at the one year anniversary can we do it at a thousand episode of that i'm sorry

01:00:10.720 it was that draining

01:00:11.620 it was horrifying

01:00:12.280 I mean yeah

01:00:13.060 dude

01:00:13.340 what would you do

01:00:14.640 with that long though

01:00:15.320 like three hours

01:00:15.960 is a long time

01:00:16.680 no I don't think so

01:00:18.020 there was too much

01:00:18.720 going on guys

01:00:19.480 there was too much

01:00:20.160 going on

01:00:20.520 you just learned a lot

01:00:20.680 from it

01:00:21.080 I think you can do

01:00:21.880 a better job with it

01:00:24.340 do you guys think

01:00:25.180 we'll ever get to the point

01:00:25.920 where we have a crowd

01:00:26.840 like every episode

01:00:28.140 the answer to that question

01:00:29.740 is that will happen

01:00:31.160 when this is moved

01:00:32.540 to a professional studio

01:00:34.020 elsewhere in Hollywood

01:00:35.160 and we have to show up

01:00:36.320 as if it's a job

01:00:37.320 and it's like a true

01:00:38.100 show with a giant budget

01:00:40.080 and giant fans too

01:00:42.900 like big fans

01:00:44.080 or AC

01:00:45.220 whatever we have to do to keep it cool

01:00:47.440 so I don't overheat

01:00:48.860 I learned so much from that

01:00:51.060 it's all good

01:00:54.160 but I don't know bro

01:00:56.540 I thought

01:00:57.180 is it bad if we do

01:01:00.640 two episodes a week

01:01:02.100 that sounds horrible

01:01:03.840 sorry is this a real

01:01:06.740 it's a real question

01:01:07.560 here's why part of the reason the night shift does so well and by the way so does jake and logan

01:01:11.640 is because there's one a week it's scarce you don't you don't you're not oversupplied with it 0.51

01:01:16.740 you feel like you have to watch because we spit out a fuckload of knowledge bro and how much are

01:01:21.560 we giving that we could make it a little more quality over quantity i think and this is a

01:01:27.720 point you've made in the past on it being a long play i think that the value we're currently

01:01:33.420 offering our current fans is so great that like literally if we took an episode away from i think

01:01:38.720 they would actually be quite upset about it like there are fans of ours that literally are like

01:01:42.100 yo this is how i get through a shift at work this is how i get through my depression like

01:01:45.880 i love having these regimented three episodes per week the other thing i will say is if rogan

01:01:50.980 went to three episodes per week right now at his stature he would get to see he would just crush

01:01:55.340 it crush it three times a week i don't even know what does he how many episodes do you do seven

01:01:58.520 five so when we i think as we continue to get better guests better at the show doing better

01:02:03.780 more press and more people come to the show we'll be doing a million plus views a week three times

01:02:09.220 a week do you know what i'm saying crazy it's gonna happen it's gonna happen yeah yeah i'm

01:02:14.440 with you on that as far as um what else the future holds i think i mean i think the the

01:02:19.240 caliber of guests is going to increase uh i don't want to not nix yeah nix anyone just yet but like

01:02:27.260 i think we're gonna be able to get some high high quality guests sponsors dude like yeah all jokes

01:02:31.820 aside we had our first two sponsors in 100 and i just got two more confirmed today that's it we're

01:02:36.160 finally gonna be making money like crazy so where are you did you expect the first 100 episodes to

01:02:43.420 be did you expect us to be where we're at right now nah man i didn't have any expectations i mean

01:02:48.840 like the goal was always to make the sickest show and and more importantly me actually enjoy what

01:02:55.980 i'm doing because if i if i'm not like you can tell like with with twitch for example i think

01:03:00.280 about this a lot because i like to try a bunch of different things and i remember i streamed on

01:03:03.760 twitch for a minute yeah and it wasn't the video the streaming that i didn't like it was like

01:03:09.160 i just get bored of video games like i don't like video games you know what i'm saying

01:03:14.080 like i can do one for eight months and then i'm like i literally look around i'm like 0.63

01:03:18.960 the fuck am i doing bro i'm sitting at a computer for 10 hours a day and not only that but like 0.64

01:03:23.120 even if you did like something about this show something about the sauce something about the 0.99

01:03:28.380 there's a sauce it's something about the studio the people on it like i don't really know how to 0.62

01:03:33.960 say it exactly but the people fuck with us bro like we have we have become a a cultural 0.91

01:03:39.100 point right now like people watch this show and they're like yo i watch impulsive to get 0.97

01:03:44.500 this out i watch impulsive to get that out and by the way you're already seeing it with me but

01:03:48.880 this show is starting to churn out stars spinoffs like now i've got the night shift you're you have

01:03:53.620 your channel going like people someone who's watching with that clickbait yeah and rightfully

01:03:59.280 so people were saying they're like damn he studied from logan my future for at the maverick

01:04:03.020 house spencer's clickbait like this did you watch it though the maverick i did i did i was brushing 0.98

01:04:06.760 my teeth this future is a bright one and the good oh shit what's going on i got news i got news man

01:04:14.140 i saw someone in a yellow shirt but i didn't see their face i gotta i gotta tell you who it is 0.98

01:04:17.420 quickly peaks is here we have peaks on the next podcast he brought fucking perp drink with him 0.97

01:04:21.700 he brought fucking jerry no offense jerry i love jerry but we have we have we've said some fucking 0.98

01:04:25.900 things we've said no i know he knows he's in the he's in the challenger games he's in the 0.99

01:04:30.060 challenger games he's fine he'll be fine guys we're gonna go to an audio only right now and i

01:04:33.840 want to actually talk about this video of dana white uh talking about me going to the ufc i just

01:04:37.780 want to play a little bit so i can tease you blue wall you a little bit oh wait a second or don't

01:04:41.740 play it and just play in the audio i'm gonna do that too okay okay great so i'm gonna talk about

01:04:46.560 Dana White, me possibly fighting in the UFC

01:04:48.720 was good. Hit that subscribe

01:04:50.440 button. Ladies and gentlemen, we love you. Impulsive

01:04:52.400 episode 101.

01:04:54.440 Hey, Big Mike, Spencer Taylor,

01:04:56.760 and Evan Eckenrode, aka 0.85

01:04:58.320 Dwarf Mamba. We'll see you guys next time.

01:05:00.580 Peace.

01:05:02.220 Dana White got Hollywood fixed.

01:05:04.800 Dana White got paparazzi'd.

01:05:06.480 Our boy Fletcher, who we actually had on this show.

01:05:09.060 Did you see him at the charity basketball game?

01:05:10.700 Camera in hand?

01:05:12.660 What do you mean? I put him on the list. You're lying.

01:05:15.080 You put him on the list.

01:05:16.560 He's a good guy.

01:05:17.300 Shout out Fletcher.

01:05:18.180 You put him on the list.

01:05:18.960 Yes.

01:05:19.220 For what purpose?

01:05:19.920 Because I said, hey, Fletcher, why don't you come in and take some pictures of me hugging

01:05:22.600 Jake Paul to try to fix the situation.

01:05:24.000 No, I'm just kidding. 1.00

01:05:24.480 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:05:25.440 You invited him? 1.00

01:05:26.520 I added him really quickly.

01:05:28.620 Did he ask you?

01:05:29.500 No.

01:05:29.880 You invited him.

01:05:30.840 What's going on, Mike?

01:05:31.420 Sorry, sorry.

01:05:32.060 Yeah, he did ask.

01:05:33.040 I have it on my Twitter account.

01:05:34.220 I have it.

01:05:34.560 I can show you.

01:05:34.760 And?

01:05:35.500 I work with the people who put on the event.

01:05:39.320 And I said, hey, do you want some more press? 0.99

01:05:40.920 Because I got the Hollywood Fix guy and he's dope as fuck. 0.99

01:05:43.000 Oh, okay. 0.99

01:05:43.640 And he also got yelled at because he was too close to the court during the game. 0.99

01:05:47.500 He doesn't give a fuck. 0.99

01:05:48.620 He will get that God dang footage. 0.99

01:05:51.300 But yeah, he got Dana White the other day.

01:05:55.660 Check it out.

01:05:56.000 Check out what Dana said.

01:05:57.040 Logan Paul, because he's mentioned you several times and wants you to let him in.

01:06:01.300 Does he ever have a chance?

01:06:02.980 I don't know.

01:06:03.680 I never say never. 0.99

01:06:04.700 I mean, everybody keeps asking me about all this crazy shit. 0.99

01:06:07.740 Like, you know, Bieber and Cruz, Logan Paul and all these other guys. 0.99

01:06:12.040 I don't know.

01:06:12.580 Yeah, and Farrah Abraham had a fight, too, and for some reason it got canceled.

01:06:16.100 But, I mean, do you think it would make money?

01:06:18.240 Would it be something good to do, even if it was just a separate, like, celebrity?

01:06:21.600 I know that that kid Logan Paul fought before, and it did well on the Internet.

01:06:25.640 I know they made money, so.

01:06:27.600 Yeah.

01:06:28.140 Yeah.

01:06:28.800 Okay, so maybe there's a fighting chance?

01:06:31.220 I don't know.

01:06:32.080 I don't know.

01:06:32.820 I mean, what would be the scenario?

01:06:34.420 He comes into the UFC and fights a UFC fighter?

01:06:37.340 Eh, well, just. 0.99

01:06:38.040 He'd get killed. 0.98

01:06:38.900 Yeah. 0.94

01:06:39.600 Oh. 1.00

01:06:40.180 Damn. 1.00

01:06:40.540 I didn't hear that part. 1.00

01:06:41.760 He said I would get killed. 0.99

01:06:42.740 It was all good until he said I would get killed. 0.95

01:06:44.740 Hey, he's talking about the kid, though, man.

01:06:46.660 That's what's up.

01:06:47.300 That's true.

01:06:48.100 My name's in his mouth.

01:06:49.840 And last time, the last time my name was in his mouth,

01:06:53.360 he wasn't this friendly about it.

01:06:54.800 Last time he was like,

01:06:56.420 if I let Logan Paul fight in the UFC, I should be arrested.

01:06:59.560 And now he's like, you know, I don't know.

01:07:01.600 Maybe it's worth the payout.

01:07:03.220 Maybe the arrest is worth the check.

01:07:04.800 Trust.

01:07:06.360 But to be honest with you, bro,

01:07:08.520 if we want to secure that big bag,

01:07:10.760 I ain't gonna fight in the UFC 1.00

01:07:12.300 I'll put on my own shit 0.99

01:07:13.760 Just like we did 1.00

01:07:14.400 Just like we did

01:07:14.900 The UFC wouldn't be like

01:07:16.000 A bucket list thing 0.78

01:07:16.880 But Dana's

01:07:17.440 I can tell he's breaking a little bit

01:07:19.100 What if you get Askren'd 1.00

01:07:21.220 Oh

01:07:21.940 What if you

01:07:22.540 Cause you

01:07:22.880 In a weird way

01:07:24.020 You kinda look like Ben Askren

01:07:25.760 In a weird way

01:07:26.820 Cause you got that funky hair

01:07:27.980 It's very possible dude

01:07:29.380 What if you just get a

01:07:30.280 Flying 1.00

01:07:30.760 Cowabunga smash cock 1.00

01:07:32.560 Right to the face bro 1.00

01:07:33.840 That's a

01:07:35.120 That's a crazy move

01:07:36.460 That is a crazy move 1.00

01:07:37.300 The Cowabunga smash cock 1.00

01:07:38.560 I've only seen it once 0.98

01:07:39.360 It's lethal

01:07:39.980 Well, it happened to Ben Askren

01:07:41.640 He's still asleep

01:07:42.440 Last time I checked

01:07:43.520 No, no

01:07:44.540 He woke up

01:07:45.060 He put the other guy to sleep

01:07:45.940 Did he win a fight after that?

01:07:48.120 No

01:07:48.240 He won that fight

01:07:49.300 No, different, different, different

01:07:50.820 That was way back

01:07:52.260 That was way back

01:07:52.680 Oh, no

01:07:53.220 You didn't see Ben Askren

01:07:54.440 Get knocked out in five seconds?

01:07:54.980 You did not see that?

01:07:56.340 It's the most violent thing

01:07:57.300 I've ever seen

01:07:57.660 Bro, it's the fastest

01:07:58.480 Knockout in UFC history

01:07:59.640 Really?

01:08:00.220 Pull it up

01:08:00.640 You can pull it up

01:08:01.340 Or it's audio only

01:08:02.200 Let's keep talking

01:08:03.020 Do you want to try to pull it up

01:08:04.080 Show him?

01:08:04.620 I can

01:08:05.040 Ben Askren got knocked out

01:08:06.780 In five seconds

01:08:07.440 Is this recent?

01:08:07.860 Yeah, yeah

01:08:08.560 The most recent UFC fight 0.95

01:08:09.920 By the way, he woke up and tweeted, well, that sucked. 0.98

01:08:15.680 Well, that sucked. 0.99

01:08:16.340 That was his tweet. 0.99

01:08:18.540 Now, he handled it well.

01:08:20.980 I mean, the issue was, Spence, he had so much beef with this dude.

01:08:25.520 Like, they were mortal enemies. 1.00

01:08:27.080 And he was talking hella, like, family shit. 1.00

01:08:29.020 Hella shit. 1.00

01:08:29.640 Family race, all that stuff. 1.00

01:08:30.900 And so when this dude knocked him out in five seconds, you can imagine, like, how fucking stupid he looked. 1.00

01:08:35.540 By the way, there was a lot of conversation because he didn't even get the Modelo plug done. 0.99

01:08:38.720 I don't think this is it

01:08:40.040 I don't know dude

01:08:41.720 Dude five second knockout

01:08:44.460 Ben Askren five second knockout

01:08:46.540 I don't know

01:08:50.580 Oh here

01:08:51.560 Boom gone

01:08:54.680 That's it

01:08:55.140 He didn't even get the Modelo plug done

01:08:58.040 Bell rings

01:08:59.100 Oh my god

01:09:01.440 And literally took three more

01:09:03.180 It was really only three seconds

01:09:05.500 Oh my god

01:09:08.020 and then after dude

01:09:09.460 the dude Jorge Masvidal

01:09:11.320 who celebrated

01:09:12.360 by going and mocking him

01:09:14.860 he like

01:09:15.420 stiffed

01:09:17.980 and then he like fell over

01:09:20.900 and they asked him

01:09:22.740 they're like hey

01:09:23.700 do you think the punches

01:09:25.720 after he was already knocked out

01:09:27.360 were necessary

01:09:27.920 and he goes yeah

01:09:28.540 they were super necessary

01:09:29.320 like bro he's cold

01:09:30.600 well not only that

01:09:31.660 every guy would say that

01:09:34.240 until that ref

01:09:35.560 oh yeah but

01:09:36.340 Bro, but the way he said it, bro

01:09:38.560 He goes, they were super necessary

01:09:40.600 He's a cold man

01:09:41.900 And he says even now, if he sees him in the grocery store 1.00

01:09:44.340 He's going to slap the shit out of him 0.99

01:09:45.000 He said when he sees him at Whole Foods 1.00

01:09:46.340 He was like, if I'm going to see him at Whole Foods, I'm still going to fuck him up 0.99

01:09:48.960 Are they going to fight again? 0.99

01:09:50.140 I don't think Ben Askren wants that

01:09:52.180 But that said, if he hadn't landed that knee

01:09:55.720 No, bro

01:09:57.360 I'm sorry

01:09:58.120 Ben Askren has proved his ability

01:10:00.260 From a ground standpoint

01:10:02.940 How do you let that happen?

01:10:03.760 Yeah, as a wrestler, yeah.

01:10:05.880 How do you let that happen?

01:10:07.600 I just hate to see it.

01:10:08.480 How are you going to need to face it 30 seconds?

01:10:09.540 We've seen something.

01:10:10.500 Because he's a wrestler, bro,

01:10:12.020 and they knew that if anything goes wrong,

01:10:14.820 like a guy sprinting at you and jumping in the air,

01:10:17.560 he's going to reach for your legs. 1.00

01:10:20.040 Completely open himself up for a knee to the fucking neck. 1.00

01:10:22.820 Boom, bro. 0.99

01:10:24.880 All right, Bruce, what do we bring Peaks on next podcast?

01:10:26.900 Bro, that's crazy.

01:10:27.620 I'm excited for Peaks.

01:10:28.600 He's a little, he's closer to my age.

01:10:30.240 Peaks, how old are you pushing these days?

01:10:31.540 33.

01:10:32.080 33.

01:10:32.900 I'm excited.

01:10:33.760 you go all right this is gonna be a good one hit that subscribe button we love you rate us five

01:10:37.060 stars impulsive out

01:10:38.560 Lisa tell them about our new show we have a new podcast it's called don't lie to me

01:10:56.880 I'm Lexi Iwano we're two best friends 22 years apart but so close at heart

01:11:01.960 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references, occasionally different opinions.

01:11:07.840 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

01:11:11.100 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes, Good Taste is my business.

01:11:16.160 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:11:22.660 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Geritana, Jeremy Culhane, Patrick McDonald.

01:11:27.180 And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast.

01:11:30.660 The Improvised Character Comedy Podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.

01:11:36.720 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants.

01:11:39.900 And we do a little Halloween sometimes.

01:11:42.120 Does the Pope dress up?

01:11:43.440 He winks on Halloween.

01:11:45.720 He gets right up next to the microphone.

01:11:47.420 I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other.

01:11:50.560 You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

01:11:55.360 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:12:03.380 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast, the true crime comedy podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

01:12:13.420 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

01:12:15.300 Ooh, I scammed them.

01:12:16.500 What?

01:12:16.960 I could talk to you for an hour.

01:12:18.480 You're a generational yapper, like me.

01:12:20.500 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

01:12:22.260 and now you can catch full episodes of my show on youtube start listening to scam goddess on the

01:12:27.500 iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts i'm hamza and i'm martin and

01:12:35.200 we're the hosts of out of character the funniest podcast in the entire world

01:12:38.500 i like that it's a good way to promote ourselves we are two funny guys having fun enjoying ourselves

01:12:47.200 and we just know how to have fun, unlike anyone else.

01:12:50.080 If you guys like fun conversations, hot takes, what else?

01:12:54.460 Not too hot, just kind of lukewarm.

01:12:56.080 Lukewarm takes.

01:12:56.600 Just to get your mind thinking a little bit.

01:12:58.400 Listen to Out of Character on the iHeartRadio app,

01:13:01.020 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Impaulsive with Logan Paul - July 19, 2019

LOGAN PAUL IS A LIAR - IMPAULSIVE EP. 101

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