Impaulsive with Logan Paul - E140 SEX AND FIGHTS IN HAWAII - IMPAULSIVE EP. 140

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00:00:30.900 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

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00:00:43.740 which means we have wildly different references,

00:00:46.000 occasionally different opinions.

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00:01:00.000 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator,

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00:01:30.000 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Colhane, Patrick McDonald, and we're

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00:02:05.220 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 0.88

00:02:12.720 And it was hot, so she took her top off, and her stepkids are, like, suing her for, like, public nudity, essentially, or, like, lewdness.

00:02:21.000 So there's this huge, like, there's this huge lawsuit. 0.93

00:02:24.140 Where I'm from, if you see your stepmom top us in the garage, you ask her to have sex. 0.99

00:02:28.680 oh yeah that's uh that's ohio that's what that's that's oh my god call it as i see it dude 1.00

00:02:36.740 you want to hear disgusting we'll give you stories about disgusting be ready for it because 0.99

00:02:51.320 this is going to be a full-fledged hawaiian fuck fest ladies and gentlemen we are back from hawaii 0.99

00:02:55.560 after Thanksgiving break 0.99

00:02:57.360 me and Mike went to Hawaii

00:02:58.660 I don't know where Spencer went

00:02:59.540 because he doesn't live in the house

00:03:00.300 and he don't communicate

00:03:00.900 with us anymore

00:03:01.700 oh yes I did

00:03:03.240 I'm like what's good bro 1.00

00:03:03.980 have you blacked me out of your life

00:03:05.060 no that's not true

00:03:06.020 do you even like me anymore

00:03:06.520 you don't hit me up bro 1.00

00:03:07.740 but I'll hit you 0.99

00:03:09.100 that's true

00:03:09.680 welcome back to Impulsive

00:03:10.540 the number one podcast in the world

00:03:12.160 thanks for listening

00:03:12.720 watching, viewing

00:03:13.340 and subscribing

00:03:14.340 I hope you guys had

00:03:15.840 a great Thanksgiving break

00:03:17.020 I hope you got to spend time

00:03:17.880 with your friends and family

00:03:18.880 express gratitude

00:03:20.900 show what you're thankful for

00:03:22.200 but yeah Mike and I

00:03:23.360 went to Hawaii

00:03:23.960 which as you can see

00:03:24.740 Hawaiian themed

00:03:26.260 You didn't go, which is weird that you're wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

00:03:28.540 I figured I'd join in.

00:03:29.640 I'm happy about it, dude.

00:03:30.980 In very many ways, I'm still on this Hawaiian venture we speak about.

00:03:33.860 Yeah, very much so.

00:03:34.740 You're still coming down, huh?

00:03:36.200 I wouldn't say coming down because I didn't utilize any psychedelics or drugs that make me come up.

00:03:40.700 But I'm up there.

00:03:42.440 Because of alcohol.

00:03:44.740 Have you ever noticed how Logan doesn't use an L when he says alcohol?

00:03:47.760 Alcohol.

00:03:48.340 Alcohol.

00:03:49.320 Are you the highest in the room?

00:03:52.580 Based on height?

00:03:54.140 Yes.

00:03:54.540 Yes.

00:03:55.100 He is.

00:03:55.500 based on based on increased drug intake no no no not even close there's others that are much

00:04:03.760 higher no he's been there done that that phase of his life is over yep hawaii was a five-day

00:04:08.560 bender there's no other way to say it i uh i i don't often crash uh but there was a point in

00:04:15.640 the trip where i hit zero my tank hit zero yeah you guys know me huh you know me it's me logan

00:04:21.620 I'm a pretty energetic guy

00:04:23.260 And I'm pretty intense too

00:04:24.900 Like I'll go balls to the wall

00:04:26.680 And I'm pretty tough man 1.00

00:04:27.980 I can handle a lot of shit 1.00

00:04:29.280 But no bro 1.00

00:04:29.840 I made a death video

00:04:31.420 I recorded it

00:04:32.720 I said Mike start recording

00:04:34.220 I said goodbye to my mom and dad

00:04:35.540 What?

00:04:36.700 I thought I was gonna die

00:04:37.560 It was that bad?

00:04:38.200 I thought I was gonna die

00:04:39.280 Do you wanna try that?

00:04:40.920 Oh you don't like that?

00:04:42.380 What?

00:04:43.160 You don't think I did that?

00:04:44.280 Just how

00:04:44.640 You recorded it?

00:04:45.680 No

00:04:45.840 I said I made a death video

00:04:47.880 Did that not happen?

00:04:49.280 Do you wanna keep 0.96

00:04:50.040 pampering our lives

00:04:54.360 to fit the community bro

00:04:55.860 because something about the Hawaii trip

00:04:57.920 made me realize this

00:04:59.000 the more I can be myself and truly be authentic

00:05:02.380 I'm going to be happier

00:05:03.600 on this god forsaken

00:05:06.060 platform

00:05:06.780 and the more I think people will appreciate

00:05:09.960 what we do bro

00:05:11.340 I thought I was going to die

00:05:13.580 my heart rate was literally

00:05:14.860 30 beats per minute

00:05:16.860 And I threw up my insides, dude.

00:05:21.180 Wow.

00:05:21.820 He kept repeating himself and going, Mike, my health.

00:05:26.400 And I'm like, what's wrong with you?

00:05:27.380 And he goes, my health.

00:05:28.840 He goes, my health.

00:05:29.980 Do we have any video evidence of this?

00:05:31.520 Yeah, we've got video of everything.

00:05:32.780 We didn't shoot anything for this trip.

00:05:35.220 We didn't film any vlogs.

00:05:36.400 We didn't film any night shift stuff, nothing.

00:05:38.380 We treated this as a true vacation.

00:05:40.300 But we did shoot some cell phone video.

00:05:42.300 A lot of it has never been seen before, such as this.

00:05:45.780 Wow, you look bad

00:05:50.040 Hey guys

00:05:52.200 I'm worried about my health

00:05:54.800 My heart rate has never been this slow in my life

00:05:58.760 Oh my god

00:06:00.140 I'm deteriorating

00:06:01.300 Mom, Dad, I love you

00:06:04.640 Hey guys

00:06:07.480 There's more

00:06:08.360 But yeah, the point is it wasn't great

00:06:10.560 But the trip was great

00:06:11.680 We spent time with Mike's sister, who's awesome

00:06:13.880 Abby and her husband Jack

00:06:15.120 Who's I think being deployed

00:06:18.220 He's being redeployed

00:06:19.220 He's in the military, the Navy

00:06:20.580 Naval pilot

00:06:21.320 Such a nice guy

00:06:22.920 He would never know that he could just murder you at any moment

00:06:25.800 Bro, Mike's sister is great too

00:06:27.680 Her name's Abby

00:06:29.300 She's like Mike, but a girl

00:06:30.620 That's the best way I can describe it 0.90

00:06:32.420 She's super cool

00:06:33.380 I stayed at the Four Seasons, by the way

00:06:36.740 Which, incredible, incredible resort

00:06:40.820 It was the first time I stayed in a long time

00:06:44.200 at a five-star, a true upscale resort like that

00:06:47.920 where every single thing they can do is thought of.

00:06:51.140 It was just incredible.

00:06:52.340 There was no reason to leave. 1.00

00:06:53.660 There was so much shit. 1.00

00:06:54.280 People were like, do this. 1.00

00:06:55.180 Do the road to Hana, which, by the way, we did.

00:06:59.540 It wasn't good?

00:07:00.740 It was a road.

00:07:01.460 It was a road.

00:07:01.860 It's the road to hell, dude.

00:07:02.800 If I'm being honest, it's rainy.

00:07:04.480 It's windy.

00:07:05.560 There's exploded cars for some reason.

00:07:07.880 Burnt out cars everywhere. 1.00

00:07:09.360 Are you sure you weren't in Afghanistan? 0.63

00:07:11.740 Did you guys ask that?

00:07:12.580 No, we can't confirm or deny that we were or not.

00:07:15.960 The point is, we must have did something wrong, or maybe we didn't quite make it to the real road to Hana.

00:07:20.780 It's like a road that goes to the other side of the island, and everybody says this is the thing you have to do on Maui.

00:07:26.680 And by the way, I'm not saying that it's not.

00:07:28.260 It very well may be.

00:07:29.400 Maybe we didn't put in enough effort.

00:07:31.060 But as we started to go down it, we started to see some of the landmarks.

00:07:34.000 One of them is a place called Twin Falls.

00:07:36.180 So much amazement and magnificence.

00:07:37.840 if i were to show you twin falls you would think it was i hate to i hate to say this to devalue

00:07:43.060 maui's sightseeing but you would think that it was a man holding two hoses off the side of a

00:07:48.180 a small cliff in ohio is it really i mean like how far am i gonna hike for that i've seen waterfalls

00:07:53.620 oh there's one flower though in the upper left that's just installed that recently as an extra

00:07:59.040 attraction but like so this was one of the things we were offered now to get here you have to drive

00:08:03.360 this treacherous road to hana it's curvy it's a one-lane highway you could run your rented chevy

00:08:08.760 impala into a guardrail at any point and jack was driving the naval pilot and i found it ironic that

00:08:15.260 he's i'm so sorry jack a horrendous driver that's not true that's not true that's true

00:08:21.740 but it's not but he could fly planes yeah i don't know what like there's you know levels he talked

00:08:28.460 to me about flying planes and i told him i couldn't do it because i'm colorblind he said

00:08:32.220 he said I can't

00:08:33.120 yeah red

00:08:33.540 really

00:08:33.940 he goes

00:08:35.080 as long as you're not

00:08:35.940 red green colorblind

00:08:36.900 I said my guy

00:08:37.640 I said my guy

00:08:38.920 I'm out

00:08:39.280 but yeah

00:08:41.240 just overall

00:08:41.880 I mean

00:08:42.360 this podcast

00:08:43.320 is really just gonna be

00:08:44.180 a time for stories

00:08:45.600 maybe some takeaways

00:08:46.960 things we learned

00:08:47.820 and hopefully

00:08:49.080 we can make

00:08:49.600 more fun of Mike's sister 0.97

00:08:51.180 this happened

00:08:52.320 I have one question

00:08:56.680 what are those 0.99

00:08:57.760 you shut the fuck up 1.00

00:09:00.540 I actually feel bad for her 1.00

00:09:05.480 because she

00:09:07.120 mentioned she felt like she was babysitting

00:09:09.480 on the trip and she's not

00:09:10.960 she might be right she's not too far off

00:09:13.180 but she definitely has a side to her that is like

00:09:15.120 it's youthful

00:09:17.180 no she loves us she invited us to

00:09:19.040 her graduation no she invited you she

00:09:20.920 specifically said I can't come

00:09:22.420 she said I can't come yeah but she didn't mean it

00:09:24.880 I hit her up after and she was very

00:09:27.060 specific that you should go to her graduation

00:09:29.620 So did you guys almost get kicked out,

00:09:31.220 or how did you guys manage to stay at this resort?

00:09:34.120 At one point, we almost did.

00:09:35.800 We had one issue.

00:09:36.580 We had one very serious.

00:09:37.840 So, by the way, I don't know how he's got this planned.

00:09:40.180 We didn't discuss it at all because, to be honest with you,

00:09:41.980 I've personally been recovering.

00:09:43.400 I've slept for the past day and a half.

00:09:45.140 We really didn't get much sleep.

00:09:46.700 It was as much as Maui.

00:09:48.420 So Maui is this island of just beautiful splendor.

00:09:50.980 There's nice beaches, four seasons.

00:09:52.860 People save a lot of money to go there on honeymoons.

00:09:55.600 Joe Rogan was there. 0.94

00:09:56.640 We hung out very briefly, very fucking briefly. 0.83

00:10:00.320 You said what up to Joe? 0.91

00:10:01.180 To Joe Rowe in all the places.

00:10:02.680 Bro, here's what, all the places we're walking by, and you know, Mike, I don't know, if you

00:10:07.120 don't know this about Mike, everything he sees and everything he hears, he makes a joke

00:10:12.260 out of.

00:10:13.120 Quite literally everything.

00:10:14.360 The man doesn't stop talking.

00:10:15.400 I love it.

00:10:15.960 I'm thoroughly entertained 24-7.

00:10:17.800 Did he deliver on this interaction?

00:10:19.540 Oh, yeah.

00:10:19.920 Oh, good.

00:10:20.080 There we go.

00:10:20.660 So we're walking.

00:10:21.740 We're walking.

00:10:22.160 He goes, he's like going from one sentence to the next, just like, oh, look at the rock

00:10:25.300 over there.

00:10:25.640 Look at this over there.

00:10:26.120 And he goes, hey, look at that guy.

00:10:27.400 He looks like Joe Rogan.

00:10:28.460 And I double take it.

00:10:30.640 Wait a second.

00:10:31.480 I'm like, that is Joe Rogan. 1.00

00:10:34.280 And I'm like, what the fuck is he doing? 1.00

00:10:35.660 Just in his cabana. 1.00

00:10:37.420 Cabana's like locked up.

00:10:38.360 He has his AirPods in.

00:10:39.560 No, no, no.

00:10:39.900 Wait.

00:10:40.200 First, he was snoozing.

00:10:41.420 Passed out.

00:10:42.100 I've never seen anyone fall asleep harder in my life.

00:10:44.280 I go, that dude is hot as hell right now.

00:10:46.460 Wait, I'm sorry.

00:10:46.860 This is in the lobby?

00:10:48.740 He's in like a private, like rented poolside cabana with his family, by the way.

00:10:53.280 So like basically, let me put it this way. 1.00

00:10:55.060 every possible do not enter do not disturb if you come near me i will chop your dick off sign 0.99

00:11:01.940 was on yeah i've seen cabana bro cabana closed man sleeping chair reclined headphones in daughter 0.99

00:11:09.140 there no approach whatsoever in the den yeah in the dead so we we knew it was gonna be tricky

00:11:15.820 probably wasn't the best time right and by the way joe rogan's doing it right like it's his 0.99

00:11:20.380 vacation man's k-o'd i wish i had the wherewithal to do that but instead i was a drunk idiot

00:11:25.860 so i go up we talk we have a conversation like should we say hi i don't know it's that weird 0.88

00:11:29.880 thing personally i hate approaching celebrities i put i pushed i pushed on it i said listen

00:11:34.800 he talks about about you on the show from time to time you know him you've hunt you've seen him

00:11:40.060 before and by the way i was like if we go back past again and he's awake and he doesn't look

00:11:44.800 that closed off let's make a move yeah so we went back he was awake i think he was like eating

00:11:49.200 something he still had his earpods in and we walk up to the tent and some and some kids go by us

00:11:54.020 and they go come on guys don't be those guys like they didn't know they didn't know like who we were

00:11:58.820 they didn't know they see they see what we're about to do and they go don't be that don't be

00:12:02.140 those guys mike's like i have to be that we are we scoot around the back you snuck into the back

00:12:08.160 of the tent no we circumnavigate i use the word a reach around yeah and then and then at this point

00:12:13.200 i'm like this is not good bro he's with his family earpods and he's by the way probably studying like

00:12:18.060 for his next guest

00:12:18.760 on his podcast

00:12:19.340 he's like reading

00:12:20.420 something on his phone

00:12:20.980 you know like actual

00:12:21.740 podcast hosts do

00:12:22.600 like research 0.79

00:12:23.340 and shit like that 0.64

00:12:24.140 yeah 0.99

00:12:24.320 we choose to ignore

00:12:26.580 that here

00:12:27.140 Mike goes

00:12:28.700 Joe

00:12:29.260 no response 1.00

00:12:30.560 this is fucking 1.00

00:12:31.020 airpods 1.00

00:12:31.400 now he's tapping

00:12:33.080 him he's getting

00:12:33.400 physical

00:12:33.700 I wasn't shaking

00:12:35.280 I just gave him

00:12:36.120 a quick tap

00:12:36.500 Joe look at me

00:12:36.960 and so Joe turns back

00:12:38.460 and it's really funny

00:12:40.740 he was wearing

00:12:41.000 those glasses

00:12:41.480 that make your eyes

00:12:42.140 look massive

00:12:43.020 like reading glasses

00:12:44.480 yeah

00:12:44.820 and he's like

00:12:46.240 oh and so he

00:12:46.860 recognized me

00:12:47.540 and uh then we had a conversation for like by the way the moment he recognized him and then looked

00:12:53.440 at me he's like oh like he was he was not in any way upset because the approach i know the way he

00:12:58.040 describes it i know if you're watching this you probably think like my approach my approach is 0.92

00:13:01.280 actually pretty good i'm good at building relationships i know what i'm fucking doing 0.68

00:13:04.400 in that situation i approached him slowly i said yo what's up give him a little tapper and he was 0.84

00:13:08.300 like yo boys what's up he's like so i saw you train with shannon britt like we got into a full

00:13:11.900 conversation everything worked exactly the way i thought i knew it was gonna go that way it was

00:13:16.920 I had a moment where I realized, ah, Joe Rogan's the coolest man in life.

00:13:22.600 100%.

00:13:22.960 It just clicked, dude.

00:13:25.400 Again, he had a conversation.

00:13:26.720 It was almost like a mini podcast.

00:13:28.060 He's like, oh, I was training with Shannon.

00:13:29.500 Yeah, how was the fight? 0.99

00:13:31.580 Two points, all that shit. 0.98

00:13:33.140 Which, by the way, the appeal is going through maybe tonight. 0.99

00:13:36.040 Yeah, who knows?

00:13:37.420 But yeah, it was really good.

00:13:39.040 And then we let him do his thing.

00:13:40.640 That's amazing.

00:13:41.520 This brings me joy.

00:13:42.580 The way I was thinking about it, we were in our cabana.

00:13:44.880 We were doing our thing.

00:13:46.020 that was the first day we rented like a big poolside cabana and and he was like i mean should 0.99

00:13:50.380 we should i was like we could not do it or by the way like fuck it we can fucking do it dude let's 0.95

00:13:54.640 like let's just go say what up and all we want to do by the way was say what up and we said what up 0.97

00:13:59.380 and we were literally turning to leave and he was like whoa like you trained with shannon like

00:14:03.340 is this the first time you met joe no second second okay i met him outside the uh the comedy

00:14:08.580 store after his performance once and i will say his vibe was completely different i would just

00:14:13.200 like any other human he just threw down just you know what i'm saying just do a comedy show you're

00:14:16.200 on one you're ready to go yeah he's hanging out with his friends this year this time he was just

00:14:19.860 he was chilling wolfgang puck was also there wow uh you guys were attracting greatness

00:14:24.700 it's the four seasons maui yeah yeah it's a great hotel but he was he was very cool

00:14:30.200 and he was yeah it was dope besides that though yeah we did have one we did have one issue with

00:14:37.060 with uh i call him a heckler oh can i can i lead into this story yeah you own it all right all right

00:14:44.160 so again you know mike bro especially when mike has got just a little bit of alcohol in him

00:14:50.440 he could be a little loud people will use the word loud to describe mike sometimes

00:14:55.420 again it depends what type of person you are because like if you're like me or anything like

00:15:01.700 I mean, you probably enjoy a good entertainer.

00:15:03.980 And preface, also, anyone else that was in the room with us that I was really paying attention to at this time.

00:15:11.020 There was an audience for me.

00:15:12.240 We're at the bar.

00:15:12.880 Which is bad.

00:15:13.360 It's 11 p.m. 0.98

00:15:14.140 It's the fourth season, so there's one old couple at the bar.

00:15:19.100 Blatant PDA, just way excessive, making out with each other.

00:15:22.460 And then it's us and a couple of our friends.

00:15:24.420 Me, you, Abby, people we met at the hotel, a couple, their daughters.

00:15:28.320 And the bartenders.

00:15:29.740 And we're talking, doing our thing.

00:15:31.520 Mike goes on his

00:15:32.360 one of his rants

00:15:33.600 and I think he's doing

00:15:34.320 a Russian accent

00:15:35.140 which I have actually

00:15:36.160 pulled up here

00:15:36.900 and I want to play

00:15:38.660 because

00:15:39.080 Bored Hungover Mike

00:15:41.680 is

00:15:42.040 one of my favorite people

00:15:43.760 on the planet

00:15:44.360 so I just started filming him

00:15:45.560 one morning

00:15:45.840 this is a work in progress

00:15:46.660 he does this for fun

00:15:48.300 I just happened to witness it

00:15:49.460 and film it

00:15:50.080 I don't even think he knows

00:15:50.660 I was filming

00:15:51.200 I just heard one

00:15:52.640 the Russian propelled grenade

00:15:54.960 it's an RPG

00:15:56.080 it's very effective

00:15:57.600 against the

00:15:59.100 Panzer

00:16:00.140 and the American

00:16:01.400 an Abrams tank.

00:16:04.020 Very, very effective.

00:16:06.960 From up close

00:16:08.140 and in person, it can be

00:16:09.880 detrimental to their defenses.

00:16:13.600 Bro, for five minutes, he's just 0.79

00:16:15.860 doing this Russian accent, talking about Panzer

00:16:17.820 tanks. Who's that chick? 1.00

00:16:20.980 That's neither here 1.00

00:16:21.880 nor there. Or really anywhere,

00:16:23.820 to be honest with you. I didn't see anything.

00:16:25.760 So he's doing this accent at the bar,

00:16:28.100 and everyone's laughing. The one guy's 0.97

00:16:29.920 like yo that's not you sound like a drunk irish man the bartender by the way the bartenders are 0.98

00:16:33.600 involved everybody's fucking chilling i'm on a rampage dude and i'm and i'm looking around because 0.97

00:16:38.380 i notice you know mike when he gets excited he gets a little like he wants more people to get 0.96

00:16:42.880 involved which is great yeah it was great everyone was involved except the old pda couple and i'm

00:16:48.940 kind of clocking them up for my peripherals and i see they're getting a little more aggravated

00:16:52.760 and i know they're the type of people that won't say anything until they explode until they blow

00:16:58.800 up was it like mid smooch and they were getting yeah they were making out by the way i saw them

00:17:03.060 too they were like being they were being like very over pda like they were full make out such

00:17:08.060 like even my sister said to me she was like after all right you keep it going keep it i don't want

00:17:13.300 to jump in yet it was just like it was a little unnecessary but whatever they're doing their thing

00:17:16.060 we're doing our thing no problem go ahead and so you know mike reaches a point where it's it's

00:17:21.220 it's it's peak mike is the only way to i saw a pregnant woman walk by and i was like wow look

00:17:25.940 Look at that species over there. 1.00

00:17:27.160 She's gestating some sort of organism or some complete and utter bullshit. 0.99

00:17:31.960 Bro, it's like this couple, they had like a countdown. 0.99

00:17:34.880 In their heads, they're like, all right, three, two, one.

00:17:37.720 Both of them stood up at the same time.

00:17:39.680 And they're like, what is wrong with you?

00:17:42.180 And the guy's like, you know what, buddy?

00:17:43.560 You're being so loud.

00:17:44.440 And the lady turns to Mike and says an unforgettable line that pretty much set the tone of the entire trip.

00:17:49.760 She turns to him.

00:17:50.340 She looks in the eye.

00:17:51.080 She goes, have you no couth?

00:17:54.060 No class? 0.93

00:17:55.040 no class mike without skipping a beat doesn't hesitate doesn't break character he goes zero

00:18:02.240 absolutely none not even an ounce if there was a negative number that's how much kuth i have

00:18:07.840 and bro you can imagine like that's not the type of response she was looking or that she was looking

00:18:12.580 for she was looking for a very specific response which was ma'am i am i am so sorry about excuse me

00:18:20.800 She goes, she goes, have you no, this was the timing of it.

00:18:23.980 Have you no cooth? 1.00

00:18:25.480 Zero. 0.98

00:18:26.080 Absolutely not even announced.

00:18:27.960 Bro, it was, it was, it was one of my favorite moments of Mike in my life because I've never

00:18:32.800 seen anyone react with that amount of like confidence and, and calmness.

00:18:38.000 And so the guy gets mad because obviously this is not the react.

00:18:42.080 He's look, they're looking for an apology or something or some sort of a retreat.

00:18:46.760 Listen, buddy, you're not the guy I want to do this with.

00:18:49.900 Now, keep in mind, this guy's, I would say, probably late 50s, early 60s.

00:18:53.940 He's got a bit of a hunch.

00:18:55.500 He's also hammered.

00:18:56.760 He's hammered.

00:18:57.740 He's slurring his speech.

00:18:58.940 So they go to walk away, and Mike's still on.

00:19:02.040 He's like, there's nothing here for you.

00:19:04.620 I have no clue for you.

00:19:06.020 And the guy comes up to Mike, and he approaches him.

00:19:08.300 Did he grab you on the shoulder?

00:19:09.280 He got close.

00:19:10.100 He approached me.

00:19:11.580 He came up to Mike.

00:19:12.480 Mike's sitting down, by the way.

00:19:13.580 And I'm watching this, and I'm right next to him.

00:19:16.340 And I hate the one person standing up, one person sitting down scenario.

00:19:18.860 It was actually a bad situation for the sitter.

00:19:20.580 Facts.

00:19:21.160 For the most, in this particular circumstance, there was nothing he could have done. 1.00

00:19:25.520 He could have dropped him from a fucking airplane. 0.99

00:19:27.280 He still would have been proper. 1.00

00:19:29.140 The guy goes, you don't want to do this with me, buddy.

00:19:32.920 And at this point.

00:19:33.720 It was Batman.

00:19:34.440 It was Christian Bale.

00:19:36.460 I got my feet kicked up and I thought I'd use my newfound powers.

00:19:42.080 So I look at him and I go, sir, before you do this, I have to let you know I'm a professional boxer.

00:19:46.760 Oh, you threw that on him. 0.99

00:19:48.860 Yeah, like, no, just in that voice, calm as fuck, and then he turns to me. 0.99

00:19:53.700 And what came out of the man's mouth next will be written about by scholars for years to come. 0.99

00:20:01.260 You think my response to the have-you-know-couth question was trickery and sorcery.

00:20:07.080 What this man said next changed the course of time and history.

00:20:11.920 Humanity

00:20:12.840 It created a rift in space time

00:20:16.240 That then represented

00:20:18.020 The remainder of our evening

00:20:19.800 Four hours discussing just this

00:20:22.220 One thing

00:20:23.640 Tell me

00:20:24.600 I go sir

00:20:25.480 I do have to let you know I am a professional boxer

00:20:28.180 He turns to me locks eyes

00:20:30.220 And he goes

00:20:30.900 He goes

00:20:32.380 I just had

00:20:33.940 He goes

00:20:36.060 I just had spinal surgery

00:20:39.660 Oh

00:20:40.700 and so and like literally

00:20:42.900 but but like and so

00:20:44.900 we're we just both go like this we go

00:20:46.440 no no no not even like that but

00:20:48.820 like how do you respond to that it's called

00:20:50.760 a classic smoke bomb we talk about this

00:20:52.800 we thought we are the master that smoke

00:20:54.820 bombs have you no kuth zero negative 1.00

00:20:56.600 integer apply it lady smoke bomb smoke 1.00

00:20:58.760 bomb she's just like where am I what's what 1.00

00:21:00.620 universe is this and he just threw a flashbang 1.00

00:21:02.540 flashbang concussion grenade both me

00:21:04.760 and LP go down to our seat I'm like

00:21:06.640 I go I go then what are you

00:21:08.640 Why are you doing this?

00:21:10.120 What are you doing?

00:21:11.220 So this dude, he just got done telling me.

00:21:12.920 He goes, I have no spinal cord.

00:21:15.560 I am an exoskeleton.

00:21:19.620 So we have no idea how to handle this situation. 0.86

00:21:21.840 His wife, like, drags him away.

00:21:23.400 And then we're like, yo, did we just get attacked by a frosty?

00:21:26.240 By one of those wavy arm inflatable arm guys that they put outside car dealerships.

00:21:30.820 And then for the next probably three to four hours after that, we had conjecture over what this man really was.

00:21:38.640 He had no spine.

00:21:40.080 He was some sort of spineless, single-celled organism.

00:21:44.700 With no structural integrity.

00:21:46.540 Wow. 0.99

00:21:46.740 We thought his wife might be some sort of puppeteer. 0.95

00:21:50.300 She's really him. 0.79

00:21:51.640 And she's controlling all his movements.

00:21:53.840 Or that maybe he's a blizzard from Dairy Queen.

00:21:57.400 I thought to myself, she said what she said.

00:22:01.000 But in many ways, she could have come up to me and said,

00:22:02.940 Have you no soul?

00:22:05.240 Do you know what it's like to live your life as a Danish? 0.90

00:22:08.640 This man was a raspberry pastry, literally trying to attack us with no spine.

00:22:14.600 What I envision is a water bear.

00:22:16.980 Yes.

00:22:17.680 Have you ever seen a water bear?

00:22:19.000 No, but it sounds...

00:22:19.780 Look it up.

00:22:20.340 Look up a water bear.

00:22:21.280 This is what I see.

00:22:22.500 It very well could be a water bear.

00:22:23.320 At some point, we got to the point where he had a hollow bone structure, and he was actually

00:22:27.460 able to take flight.

00:22:28.560 That's him for sure, bro.

00:22:31.420 Like, bro, we were sure this man, like, sorry, is there a problem?

00:22:36.240 He goes, there is a problem.

00:22:37.440 The only problem is I'm not nailed down to this floor

00:22:40.600 Because this breeze is going to blow me away

00:22:43.620 At some point he was a paper airplane 0.98

00:22:47.400 Bro in our minds he could have been fucking anything 0.98

00:22:49.840 And so we're sitting there 0.97

00:22:50.840 And by the way my first question was

00:22:52.780 Because I told Logan I'm like yo

00:22:54.580 Every like there are very few moments

00:22:57.980 Where I have the breakdown in tears crying laughter

00:23:00.740 You have to really get to my soul

00:23:03.400 I cried laughed for probably an hour after this happened

00:23:06.640 I was suffocating on my own tears.

00:23:08.940 This is the thing I'll say about you guys

00:23:10.240 that I really love and respect.

00:23:12.100 All the drinking that lowers your life expectancy,

00:23:15.200 the laughter raises it and neutralizes it.

00:23:17.400 Oh, neutralized.

00:23:18.220 So you guys are good.

00:23:19.440 You would have lived to 70, down to 60,

00:23:21.920 back up at 70.

00:23:22.620 This part, we weren't even...

00:23:24.400 I was bone cold sober.

00:23:26.400 He was maybe too drunk.

00:23:27.540 Easy.

00:23:28.460 Bone cold sober.

00:23:29.940 We were six hours into just shot after shot.

00:23:32.260 I think you're drunk saying that.

00:23:33.300 He may have been sober,

00:23:35.260 But if you were sober, you literally have a stomach made of iron because that's impossible.

00:23:39.860 We took 43 shots before this happened.

00:23:42.120 And by the way, that's the amount of shots I would want to take before I find out I'm

00:23:45.500 talking to a human ketchup package.

00:23:47.420 Okay. 1.00

00:23:48.000 This man had no fucking structure. 1.00

00:23:50.520 He was an anomaly. 0.99

00:23:51.880 And by the way, after we had this conversation, I'm not so sure he wasn't a figment of both

00:23:56.600 of our imaginations.

00:23:57.460 We don't know he exists.

00:23:58.440 He really exists.

00:23:59.320 It was what kind of man like it's fighting time.

00:24:03.260 And he tells me he doesn't have spinal surgery.

00:24:05.260 where are you going with that yeah what's your what are you doing on our part how does it go from

00:24:10.440 uh normal surgery to like again you got hollow bones and you can fly that's the thing it could

00:24:16.560 have been a flex right it's like no punch that you throw at me could do any damage i don't have

00:24:21.100 a spine i'm i'm jello right now yes you know i'm a jello human being so abby mike's sister was uh

00:24:28.460 slightly upset she's a really good person and she's got like a good heart and she was and she's

00:24:32.700 corporate she yeah she's corporate corporate she was a little upset that we may had ruined

00:24:37.480 their vacation with our laughter and our fun and um you know mike wanted to make it right so you did

00:24:44.220 you did see the couple the next day i said to my sister that i will spend the majority of the

00:24:50.040 rest because i did feel bad i did people spending their whole lives you don't want any bad vibes

00:24:53.980 i didn't and by the way do you want to know what i was guilty of what having a little bit too much

00:24:58.680 fun and i do and i truly do feel bad for none of it was i didn't mean to cause any harm i didn't

00:25:03.140 want them to have a bad time i got a little caught up in the moment i had an audience of bartenders

00:25:07.020 and other drunkards and i felt you know felt at home yeah i felt at home like i was not it was

00:25:11.680 audience stuff but i spent the next couple days looking for these two people so that i could

00:25:17.140 express a very sincere apology and i did not see them until day four which was really a continuation

00:25:25.080 of day three because we didn't sleep so when i saw them i had no brain so like he had no spine

00:25:31.480 that first time when i saw them no brain i saw them and i literally i saw him i went up to him

00:25:35.540 and i'm like yo i could say something right now or i could dip out to this left exit off the

00:25:39.200 chick-fil-a exit 17 right here boom gone dude yeah he never to be heard of again you never saw 0.99

00:25:43.480 him ever again didn't see him again if you're watching this show spineless man and your fucking 0.99

00:25:47.700 couthful wife i am so sorry and i'll send you a basket of pastries to remind remind you of who 0.99

00:25:52.940 really are she also like they got lucky that that they're they're happened to be dealing with a

00:25:59.840 linguistics expert in mike yeah and and i'm sure when you i mean the word couth i've said that on

00:26:05.340 this show before and people are like oh is that a word like what is couth yeah that was the first

00:26:08.520 time i've heard it yeah so so i mean you gotta like you gotta know what you know um but that

00:26:13.200 was that was one thing the security guards came over afterwards and uh the bartenders backed us

00:26:18.140 up they're like nah they're causing no problems they're just saying hey guys have a pina colada

00:26:22.240 all right exactly chill out um so that was one thing that happened it probably produced the most

00:26:25.980 laughter but i think we i think there are more you know applicable moments uh i don't know how

00:26:31.720 deep you're trying to get like trying to go balls deep on this episode i mean because we got some 0.92

00:26:36.020 fucking we got some crazy shit that like literally like are we talking like actual ask logan i need 0.98

00:26:41.520 permission from the boss dude i can't just go down those fucking streets i can't even start to tell 1.00

00:26:45.540 you where they i heard you can't get a sdd in hawaii that's true that's true that's a scientific 0.95

00:26:50.240 because of the location in the pacific ocean it's unable to no poisonous spiders and no stds those

00:26:55.900 are the only two things anything else flying potatoes don't exist no stds um yeah i mean

00:27:01.000 maybe maybe we maybe we could get into a little bit but first i want to i want to uh i want to

00:27:04.820 bookend that story with it with a a good story that uh shows what kind of effect we can't have

00:27:10.660 on people if we do it the right way okay um i like this kind of stuff so one morning there

00:27:15.420 i went to go work out and uh this guy who was working the desk at the gym he's like yo you

00:27:20.760 want me to hold pads for you boxing i was like sure that'd be good he's like yeah i box i've

00:27:25.120 been boxing i i have a couple mma fights i'm a professional boxer cool so i ended up uh doing

00:27:29.880 pad work with this guy for like for like an hour i forgot how much i love boxing it was the first

00:27:33.660 time i had hit pads since the fight and just just having a grand old time kids are coming in and

00:27:38.640 they're like watching us and they're like oh my god it's this logan he's he's he's so much bigger

00:27:43.200 in person which is the number one comment i get but it was cool to like uh make their day and then

00:27:47.880 what i found out is i i made this guy's day too the one that held pads because the next day he

00:27:52.880 texted me we exchanged information because i was maybe going to do it again he just said uh his

00:27:57.040 name's chase shout out chase if you're watching this he said i just wanted to say it was great

00:28:00.560 meeting you and sorry if my vibe was a little off been battling some hard demons lately just getting

00:28:04.680 away from the job i hate for a minute and getting to train with you honestly inspired me to wake the

00:28:08.760 fuck up and make something happen for myself anyway no joke i put my two weeks notice in at 0.62

00:28:13.780 the four seasons yesterday after my shift thank you for the inspiration dude look at that man's 0.99

00:28:19.520 man's quick goosebumps bro man's quit just because of it's by the way what was a really good session

00:28:24.400 i had with him stuff chase shout out chase man um take some balls to do that and like being able to

00:28:30.080 uh being able to kickstart or jumpstart people's dreams is like it's it's probably one of the

00:28:36.220 things i find most fulfilling in life which is like why the whole maverick movement resume

00:28:39.520 resonates with me so much because i just feel like people are vastly underestimating their

00:28:43.680 own potential so hopefully he finds something did that wake anything up in you or did you already

00:28:48.600 know that nothing i already knew but it's i told mike you we see these comments all the time right

00:28:53.860 about how we've inspired and motivated absolutely absolutely seeing it firsthand quite literally 0.96

00:28:59.960 like instant gratification type shit is uh he just that's incredible quit his job bro yeah that's 0.76

00:29:05.740 Yeah, it's respect, dude. 0.97

00:29:06.840 At the four seasons.

00:29:07.400 It's respect.

00:29:08.680 You got to do it.

00:29:09.380 You got to take the leap.

00:29:11.520 We also had a – there's a funny thing about being at, like, these resorts.

00:29:15.640 I think a lot of times we, like, rent houses to, like, avoid this situation.

00:29:18.400 But we also had this other situation where it was, like, the, like, cordiality, cordialness of taking photos with celebrities.

00:29:27.720 And it was something that was – it was almost, like, similar to, like, a Rogan, except not with another celebrity.

00:29:32.280 but it was like watching people come up and like ask for photos we had this one lady she came up

00:29:37.900 to him she was like sir sir i'm a big fan took a picture with him the next day she's like sir

00:29:42.320 the picture didn't come out very good can i can we try again the fourth day she comes up she goes

00:29:46.680 sir i'm ready for our final picture together i'm like lady it's not really how it works like you

00:29:51.120 you're not we're not collecting a scrapbook like on the fifth day i was like she's probably gonna

00:29:54.660 come back in disguise hello sir i've never met you before can we please take a picture you're in

00:29:58.540 anything goes yeah

00:30:00.840 did you take it did you take the final book

00:30:02.000 I've never seen him say no to anybody

00:30:04.300 oh oh he's never

00:30:06.720 said no to anybody but

00:30:08.560 there was one this year one we had a

00:30:10.400 we had a problem with a fan

00:30:12.220 I once again

00:30:14.800 I like to study these manners of like how fans 0.94

00:30:16.800 like approach and shit like that 0.80

00:30:17.900 and everybody's the 95% 0.86

00:30:21.120 of people are like

00:30:21.860 oh my god are you looking

00:30:24.720 Paul can I take

00:30:26.800 a picture with you and like he's just and it's like

00:30:28.460 really like kind of like uh like pulled back and like a little scared about doing it this one 0.98

00:30:33.100 fucking kid probably like 16 17 years old he's got braces like total total bro his ball shot 0.97

00:30:38.060 comes up and grabs him by the back of the neck we're walking to the beach and someone like 0.99

00:30:43.140 someone grabs my neck like this and i'm like oh it's it's a homie like i also thought it was like

00:30:47.620 maybe joe like wanting to say what's up before i like that maybe i'm being hopeful but 0.93

00:30:51.300 grabs me by the back of the neck i'm like oh it's a homie i turn around i have no fucking idea who 0.81

00:30:56.580 this kid is bro and it's it's a hard grip he shakes me and he's like yo i'm a big fan i go 0.95

00:31:00.960 what the fuck did you just know but he also he also didn't say i'm a big fan he was like he was 0.91

00:31:05.780 like yo logan paul what's up man he's a huge fan of you like like was that kind of kid he's being 0.98

00:31:11.640 a little and i and uh my sister like and he went straight to like attack mode he's like don't ever 0.84

00:31:16.140 fucking touch me like that ever again and then i gave him his lesson too because i you know i like 0.87

00:31:20.080 to give people takeaways i said don't ever do that to anyone ever again yeah bro and then we 0.99

00:31:25.180 walked away you could get stabbed straight in general but yo my i'm a i'm a primal person

00:31:31.440 i have i have i have primal instincts and uh if you look even in in the wild animals kill each

00:31:39.460 other that's what i'm grabbing them by the back of the neck that's what i'm saying yeah i was

00:31:42.120 grabbed by the back of the neck by a stranger yeah in hawaii on a vacation that i'm supposed

00:31:46.780 to be enjoying so yeah i i snapped bro i like don't don't grab me there if you don't know me

00:31:50.980 yeah that is that's a vulnerable spot bro that is where animals get killed in the wild he could

00:31:55.380 have lost his hand i had scuba equipment i went we see kid turns around he goes don't ever ever

00:32:01.120 do that to me ever again the kid goes i have no spine

00:32:04.360 what is going on on this island right now dude that point you just swim one direction away

00:32:14.100 another thing and by the way you take this wherever you want i'll provide the horse for

00:32:17.540 to gallop on you stare it we uh maui's an island of just as i said splendor and wonder you don't

00:32:24.800 like horses danny maui's an island of splendor and wonder and when you go there usually relax

00:32:32.700 you know you do the spa thing they play the little ukulele for you and your family

00:32:36.740 not me and logan no we found the only series of dive bars

00:32:43.000 on the only island found the clubs okay they call it the triangle and it's like three or four bars

00:32:50.680 dive bars and these are the kind of bars that like by the way these are the local bars like 0.55

00:32:55.380 almost like on some like tourist ain't welcome type shit there's fights there there's big like

00:33:00.800 samoean bouncer like it's the it's the wild west right and so we show up there we go to this one 0.97

00:33:05.940 called what was it called the dog and duck dog and duck we go to the dog and duck and like i said

00:33:12.940 Here comes the horse galloping.

00:33:14.360 I don't know.

00:33:14.900 We clearly have something to talk about here.

00:33:16.880 There was a great DJ that played incredible music, which I wasn't expecting.

00:33:21.360 I mean, what?

00:33:22.220 You gave me a mini horse.

00:33:24.640 Yeah, I know.

00:33:25.100 What do you want from me?

00:33:26.200 I just felt like maybe you would take the supplies I was giving you and just hammer it home. 0.97

00:33:29.880 We met girls there.

00:33:32.480 We hung out.

00:33:33.520 That's entertaining.

00:33:34.260 Wow.

00:33:34.980 Yeah.

00:33:35.220 We also, and I do this, I thoroughly enjoy this, we ended up at a local's house.

00:33:41.020 That's where I was going.

00:33:41.660 Two nights in a row.

00:33:42.280 That's where I was going.

00:33:42.880 i have this thing where i like to jolt myself back into the real world and so bro if i go to

00:33:47.780 if i go to a college i'll show up at a random like someone's house and just like yeah yeah

00:33:53.020 so we end up at the at a local's house one night and then another night and there was like

00:33:56.880 i have actually have a video here nope nope nope oh wait yeah 0.95

00:34:03.180 so we go from the four seasons to this trying to microwave shit refrigerator pizza 0.95

00:34:12.860 what is that bro 0.99

00:34:14.800 who knows

00:34:15.400 oh you just said

00:34:17.800 I didn't care I was drunk I was gonna eat it

00:34:20.280 and you just microwaved it on top

00:34:21.600 yeah there's probably a little extra flavor floating around in there 0.86

00:34:24.500 but imagine how ridiculous that is

00:34:26.180 like the dive bars are one thing 0.86

00:34:28.660 but then we'll just get 0.98

00:34:30.040 fucked up and kids will come up to us 0.99

00:34:32.160 be like yeah bruh we're throwing an after down the street 0.99

00:34:34.420 you wanna come with us and where any normal

00:34:36.240 like person of elevated stature

00:34:38.320 would say yeah man like sorry 1.00

00:34:39.840 I don't know who the fuck you guys are 0.99

00:34:42.640 we just hop in the back seat with them 1.00

00:34:44.460 now I'm a man of the people bro and actually

00:34:46.460 in my phone I have

00:34:48.280 pictures of all their IDs and license

00:34:50.780 plates just in case I'm paranoid so I'm

00:34:52.840 like drunk and I'm taking pictures of their

00:34:54.740 information in case they killed you in case something happens 0.74

00:34:56.780 oh okay is that why you handed me the license

00:34:58.840 plate I thought you were just playing with it oh no I was

00:35:00.600 taking pictures of it

00:35:01.940 five digit vanity plate yeah they have

00:35:04.600 the three in the front and then the numbers in the back

00:35:06.440 cause you know the first thing you want to do

00:35:08.660 when you wake up dead is make sure you have the license

00:35:10.720 plate number of your 0.88

00:35:11.480 I'm not saying these kids are trying to kill me

00:35:14.840 but I don't know

00:35:15.560 I gotta be a little bit cautious at least

00:35:18.200 it's like imagine my corporate sister 0.99

00:35:19.880 she's back at the Four Seasons 1.00

00:35:21.080 probably about to wake up for a jog at 4.30am

00:35:24.500 for a morning jog before the spa

00:35:25.880 and we're still shotgunning beers at some local's house

00:35:28.920 you say your sister's corporate

00:35:30.100 and I know she isn't Abby

00:35:31.140 I know you are and you're way professional 0.91

00:35:32.500 but she hit me in the face

00:35:34.720 she punched Logan in the face 0.99

00:35:36.980 she told me she was going to do it 1.00

00:35:38.040 and then she did it right away

00:35:39.200 and I actually respected her for that

00:35:40.740 that's how we were raised 0.99

00:35:41.520 we don't fuck around 0.99

00:35:42.520 but then in the 0.98

00:35:43.160 in the following sentence

00:35:44.580 she told me she loves

00:35:46.040 wearing turtlenecks

00:35:46.800 that she's that kind of girl 1.00

00:35:47.860 she's me

00:35:48.380 so then I said

00:35:49.320 I said to her

00:35:49.880 I said

00:35:50.220 oh you do strike me

00:35:51.940 as a turtleneck person

00:35:53.120 yep

00:35:53.440 you also strike me

00:35:54.600 as a turtle

00:35:55.220 then I said

00:35:56.200 you also strike me

00:35:57.120 you also strike me

00:35:57.680 cause you literally 1.00

00:35:58.240 just hit me in the fucking face 0.99

00:35:59.380 do we have that video 1.00

00:36:00.860 I have that

00:36:01.840 I'm sure you have it somewhere

00:36:02.800 um

00:36:03.520 I'm trying to think

00:36:05.280 this is like

00:36:06.260 I took a picture of Mike

00:36:07.660 one day after we went

00:36:09.180 to this fish house 0.92

00:36:09.860 called Mama's

00:36:10.520 mama's fish this is about day five and end of the trip end of the trip this is a pretty good

00:36:15.580 representation oh my god nothing left in the tank dude that's just that by the way i wasn't making

00:36:21.780 that face that that was the face i had for the whole night that's how i walked into the restaurant

00:36:25.080 we went to my goodness we went to the beach pretty much like this um one morning and something about

00:36:32.520 hopping in the ocean and the salt water is just like incredibly rejuvenating and it almost like

00:36:36.940 takes away your hangover yep so we attempted that one morning i had a beautiful swim in the ocean

00:36:41.540 probably swam around for like an hour mike is a great floater i don't know like he this man can

00:36:46.480 just float on his back which is probably why he loves lazy rivers so much but i just saw him

00:36:50.820 floating and we're talking i look at mike he looks at me high five each other just like this is great

00:36:54.700 huh such a nice like we didn't know on the front end of this vacation if it was the right play

00:36:59.500 like we even when we landed we're like did we make a mistake we're in maui it's like a honeymoon 0.92

00:37:03.800 type trip or are there even girls here that want like that are worth like all this shit we went 0.95

00:37:08.160 through all these calculations we get into the water on this day and we look and we high five 0.97

00:37:12.700 and i'm like good made the right choice you know we made the right choice so did you guys come away

00:37:17.540 with any i'll be honest that story's got a little bit more done spencer oh we get out of the water

00:37:21.700 we walk our we walk ourselves back out out onto the beach and by the way one of the hardest things

00:37:26.580 to do in maui or any other tropical spot is get chairs doesn't matter if it's by a pool by the

00:37:31.060 beach whatever we find four open chairs right on the water dude right on the beach beach front

00:37:37.080 beach front water chairs we walk up to him we lay down i look at him again i go can't beat this

00:37:42.880 brother can't beat this nope nope all of a sudden a man walks over to us with his four season shirt

00:37:48.040 he goes hey boys that may be the wrong accent hey bros get off the chairs please he comes up and he

00:37:56.960 goes he goes uh boys um i have to ask you to move off these chairs they're actually all reserved

00:38:01.860 and i look around i go there's brothers there's there's a good chunk of chairs here you know can

00:38:06.820 we just use them and he's like nah it's not the right guest experience like we like them to be

00:38:10.200 nice and clean when the next guest comes i'm like all right so they just called you dirty i'm like

00:38:14.640 i'm like bro like but there's really a lot of chairs and he goes well yeah that's because you

00:38:18.780 can't swim in the water i go i'm sorry sir can you what did you just say what you said one more 0.97

00:38:24.380 time and he goes yeah man because of the pollution bro he goes there's a oversaturation of shit in

00:38:30.400 the water what did you read the signs on the way in and i go and i look up and there's all these 0.82

00:38:35.720 red signs i go i'll be honest man i have been unconsciously drunk for the past week i don't 0.97

00:38:40.580 even know where i am right now so no i didn't read the fucking signs that said so basically 0.91

00:38:45.880 he walked over he said get this is after we were high-fiving about the quality of the vacation 0.99

00:38:50.200 He said, get the fuck off the chairs 1.00

00:38:52.620 You've been swimming in shit for the past hour 1.00

00:38:54.900 And I was like, well 1.00

00:38:55.960 That literally just 180'd my entire

00:38:59.120 My entire thoughts

00:39:00.780 Sir, wow

00:39:02.120 I know you guys are having a blast, please leave

00:39:04.260 What's going on with

00:39:05.560 Why is Maui, this is the ocean 0.93

00:39:08.080 Why is it shitty?

00:39:09.420 It was because of a lot of rain or something like that

00:39:11.440 That happened, and then the next day it was cleared up

00:39:13.400 But he goes, it's probably because of the fecal matter

00:39:15.940 I'm like, fecal matter, where?

00:39:17.600 He's like, in the ocean, look at the signs

00:39:19.620 And the pollution level is like three times

00:39:21.600 What it's supposed to be

00:39:22.580 I'm like dude are we going to be like

00:39:24.320 Growing green or something like growing third arms

00:39:26.940 You guys are going to become turds

00:39:28.300 Then the craziest part of that whole story 0.90

00:39:30.980 Is two days later I'm going through

00:39:33.100 My DM requests

00:39:34.260 From people

00:39:36.180 And I had posted a video of us about to

00:39:39.080 Lay on the chairs at the beach

00:39:40.500 And I see a message from some girl that says

00:39:43.180 Saw you guys lay on the chairs

00:39:44.800 Also saw you guys get kicked out right after

00:39:47.220 And I'm like oh so she saw

00:39:49.240 happening and then i look down there's another message that says you can have my chair as long

00:39:54.400 as you let me sit on your face there we go which which happens with mike i've seen this happen at 1.00

00:40:01.740 least five times i've seen the dms and these are like pretty women yeah she was she was great

00:40:07.400 she was great she was really pretty um have you ever did you take up so i so i i accepted the

00:40:12.920 request and and and uh what happened i was like i was like um i don't remember what i said but

00:40:19.040 i'm sure it was clever and witty and you know delivered by a handsome anyways i you know i said

00:40:24.560 something to her we didn't end up meeting up with her because she and she was like i don't know

00:40:27.660 maybe like 10th or 12th in the queue at the time and oh my goodness we didn't meet her but i but i

00:40:34.380 she she messaged me every day now asking me when i'm leaving hawaii she's messaged me the past three

00:40:39.580 days hey you gotta tell her we left yeah i probably should do that that's sad we made we made a lot of

00:40:43.860 friends there too spence that's good we did there was a couple that got married there that we we

00:40:48.440 bonded with um they they said they got maoied at the end it kind of made me want to punch him

00:40:53.300 in the face yeah that's uh that's you know what i said to him i said hopefully you guys don't end

00:40:58.440 up getting den vorst in denver yeah like i just said it back because i was like if you're gonna 0.99

00:41:04.860 give me some corny ass shit i'm gonna hit you right fucking back with it dude hopefully you 0.99

00:41:09.080 don't get den vorst yeah that's not good guys but they had pretty daughters that were cool 1.00

00:41:13.480 cool that was yeah so the only form of communication i had with you guys is i said

00:41:18.160 you know i was looking for something i said hey hope y'all are enjoying hawaii boys three

00:41:23.040 exclamations uh this is sunday and uh logan logan said back it's nice and fun and and mike just

00:41:30.880 didn't hit me back so i was like i'll see you guys on the podcast yeah good luck i remember you

00:41:37.220 saying that and i remember thinking wow what a nice a nice guy because i don't know i don't

00:41:43.440 know i was hoping for like a little conversation or something but i wasn't disappointed i knew you

00:41:46.940 guys were you know you're having it i think i think one thing one of my big takeaways was from

00:41:52.020 the trip was that uh like it felt good to put the phones down i remember there were certain days and

00:41:58.440 a lot of people ask us they're like when's the video coming out from the strip i'm like there

00:42:01.900 isn't one and they they were trying to wrap their brains around but i remember a certain days would

00:42:05.280 go by and to your point of not responding to that text we would i would realize damn i haven't looked

00:42:09.880 in my phone in four six hours bro and by the way my humor and his humor were at we're at a level

00:42:19.300 that were unbeknownst man and i've been trying to like i've been trying to correlate and see

00:42:23.220 because we were living so much and like sucking everything in and like calculating in our brains

00:42:27.620 as opposed to being our yeah like i mean you guys weren't stressed that might be the bigger one

00:42:32.680 though i don't know what it was but i i felt i was at a like he's he's always incredibly funny

00:42:37.840 I'm like you like I'm I'm fun but like I was hitting a level of comedy I had never hit crazy

00:42:44.000 you guys crazy and with yes and with both of us together dude there was not a person we could talk

00:42:49.880 to that by the end of the conversation like these guys are the most the most hilarious people I've 0.66

00:42:54.360 ever met in my life right that's it you guys need to my challenge to you is translate that into

00:42:58.740 everyday life here my question is my question I get it but my question is can we because you said

00:43:04.320 And you do your best.

00:43:05.960 Maybe you reach some level of it, right?

00:43:07.800 But we were in a flow state.

00:43:09.340 I think a lot of it because we, to your point, we didn't have any duties.

00:43:13.020 We would wake up.

00:43:13.920 We would eat some insane breakfast.

00:43:16.520 But you still were active on social media.

00:43:21.340 A little bit.

00:43:22.280 I did not post one.

00:43:23.920 Nothing.

00:43:24.340 I posted one story of you catching a Frisbee.

00:43:26.880 And it was like a repo.

00:43:27.940 Oh, no.

00:43:28.320 Yeah.

00:43:28.600 Right.

00:43:28.960 Did you?

00:43:29.720 Here's the thing.

00:43:30.340 I know we've had these conversations.

00:43:31.480 Were you stressed at all about anything that you had to do?

00:43:33.820 Nothing.

00:43:34.320 that nothing that's what that's what i'm getting at i think if you can find that ability to cut

00:43:41.400 away like all the things that you don't enjoy like to the fullest and you can do that here

00:43:47.020 i bet you guys can but is that realistic is that possible yeah yeah i think so because i remember

00:43:51.780 you we were talking about this a few weeks ago and you were talking about how you're like stressed

00:43:54.680 because you got so much going on i feel like if you dumbed it down a little bit no but i'm saying

00:43:59.360 like there's no way to turn it off like we it was off completely the only i remember the

00:44:03.920 You just have to make yourself not available to everything.

00:44:07.060 Or maybe it's one day a week or something like that.

00:44:08.980 I don't know, but I remember the feeling of the stress leaving.

00:44:11.920 As soon as we walked off the plane, we met like two girls, literally like right when

00:44:16.580 we got off the plane.

00:44:17.240 There's a video on TikTok that I think is going semi-viral about, remember the drunk

00:44:22.160 kid that came up to me?

00:44:22.780 Yes, oh my God.

00:44:24.320 I think it, David sent it to me.

00:44:26.060 David, how did you see that video?

00:44:27.440 The video on TikTok of the guy coming up to me?

00:44:29.200 A friend sent it to me.

00:44:30.360 Okay, so a friend sent it to you.

00:44:31.800 Yeah, because they know how to do it.

00:44:33.920 But how'd they find it?

00:44:35.700 Was it on the For You page?

00:44:38.180 This kid was annihilated.

00:44:40.300 I mean, he was annihilated.

00:44:41.440 I want to see this.

00:44:41.940 Pull it up.

00:44:42.500 But that was one of the first things when we got off the plane.

00:44:45.560 We started meeting people and the stress went away.

00:44:47.760 The next time I felt even an ounce of stress was getting back on the plane to go home.

00:44:52.100 Do you know what I'm saying?

00:44:52.520 Imagine that.

00:44:53.220 Do you think it's more so travel then as well?

00:44:57.080 Just being in a new place?

00:44:58.820 Being in somewhere different?

00:45:00.220 this was post thanksgiving and post his fight and post an entire year of some of the biggest like

00:45:07.240 success stories for both me and him and for us we felt very okay saying don't email don't text me i

00:45:16.060 don't want to talk to anybody and putting the phones down for five days like it felt very okay

00:45:19.940 for me to get back to that point like very often or like even semi-often would be challenging you

00:45:26.120 know what i'm saying but i mean think about my life my life goal at the end of the day yeah lazy

00:45:31.500 river but you can't be stressing a lazy river impossible but also it would be to own maybe not

00:45:37.360 even work but to own a food truck on a beach somewhere right and so maybe you have someone

00:45:42.180 else work it but then what if it blows up which by the way we've seen what fire can do to cars

00:45:47.440 it's it's it's terrible it's terrible and so that's a good point but like if it doesn't blow up

00:45:53.200 yeah you're good you're chilling you're chilling you know what i'm saying

00:45:56.720 looks like we got this guy here just trying to try to send it over yeah

00:46:01.000 oh we're trying to hit a little airdrop this guy with this guy was special he was he was a special

00:46:07.040 guy dude like he brought brought some joy i brought some trouble mixture of the i would say

00:46:12.460 he was kind of in the same category as the spineless man that we met like he was he was

00:46:16.800 he was a floater he saw me waiting for my bags and he's he's already drunk he's sitting in the

00:46:22.900 corner of the airport with an empty bottle

00:46:24.600 of vodka.

00:46:26.640 When we get drunk, when I say on this show that we get

00:46:28.800 drunk, I can take my SATs

00:46:30.940 and get a 1200. I'm not

00:46:32.540 kidding. I say that wholeheartedly. Except for the

00:46:34.840 one time at the Hawaiian

00:46:36.840 Luau at Logan's house. That's the one time.

00:46:38.600 Kids, young adults, people that are

00:46:40.860 watching the show, we don't get, we don't

00:46:42.780 black out. First of all, because

00:46:44.800 we can't, because we can hold our liquor.

00:46:47.020 Yeah, your livers are like seasoned veterans.

00:46:48.980 But also because we just don't do

00:46:50.900 that. We don't drink to do that. This guy,

00:46:52.900 Was wasted in public, bro.

00:46:55.400 So he goes, Laura.

00:46:56.740 And then he comes over.

00:46:58.080 Oh, my God.

00:46:59.280 That looks like death. 1.00

00:47:01.200 Oh, look at this fucking Howley over here with his back. 1.00

00:47:06.160 Oh, bro. 1.00

00:47:08.360 That's the best you got.

00:47:10.480 Hey, bro, what you doing over here?

00:47:12.760 I wish I could ask you the same thing. 1.00

00:47:14.660 What the fuck are you doing, bro? 0.99

00:47:16.600 Bro, sometimes I don't really know. 1.00

00:47:20.180 Insane.

00:47:21.220 That makes three of us.

00:47:22.900 oh my god wait so he just threw that up on tiktok that was the first time we yeah bro

00:47:35.900 it has like 30 000 likes it does how weird is that because i think it's because you get to see

00:47:41.800 like logan behind the left you know what i'm saying like i'm like without knowing what was

00:47:46.860 about to happen like very behind the scenes people like seeing you like caught off guard

00:47:51.020 David's question to me was

00:47:52.340 Did I think he was gonna do

00:47:53.460 The thing that that guy in Vegas did

00:47:55.260 If you remember that

00:47:56.380 Nah he was too drunk

00:47:57.200 He was too drunk

00:47:57.740 Yeah I told him he was

00:47:58.640 He doesn't

00:47:59.100 And by the way

00:47:59.560 When guys do that

00:48:00.660 He doesn't get mad 1.00

00:48:01.660 I lose my shit 1.00

00:48:03.420 Are you phone snapping days over 1.00

00:48:06.100 Do you think

00:48:06.800 My what

00:48:07.360 Phone snapping

00:48:08.060 Snap

00:48:09.060 Will I snap the phone

00:48:10.200 Yeah are those over

00:48:10.760 Yeah I won't snap a phone

00:48:11.780 Okay

00:48:12.020 Yeah no phone snapping

00:48:12.980 That's good

00:48:13.500 Just cause you can

00:48:14.160 You can get in

00:48:14.700 You can get in

00:48:15.800 Do you

00:48:16.140 Do you

00:48:16.860 Do you

00:48:16.900 Do you

00:48:16.920 Do you

00:48:17.020 Do you

00:48:17.140 Do you

00:48:17.560 Do you

00:48:17.860 Even if they do

00:48:18.360 I'm sure if like

00:48:19.580 someone like presses me like let's say this let's say the guy who came up and grabbed my neck

00:48:24.160 held his phone in my face i'll probably snap his phone i'm not gonna lie or his neck do you know

00:48:29.020 i'm saying by the way rightfully so he shouldn't have been grabbing you by the back of the neck 0.99

00:48:31.860 but that dude was fucked up dude that's that's how that's how we landed in hawaii and we looked 0.97

00:48:36.440 at each other we're like i understand what now what type of trip this is gonna be see that's 0.97

00:48:40.800 my thing about alcohol bro back to i don't want to dive into it but i mean it brings out some

00:48:46.180 bad qualities it depends who you are 100 100 i yeah i can i've never seen you you guys have

00:48:52.620 never been at a point other than the luau i've never i've never even gotten remotely close to

00:48:58.440 that and if i if i do i collapse on myself and i crawl on the floor army style and someone needs

00:49:04.440 to save me i think it just like reveals like who the person is though like deep down when you're

00:49:10.360 drunk you're still a nice guy they say a drunk mind is a sober heart a drunk mind reveals a

00:49:15.280 sober heart there we go i see that's what they say i feel remissed or or just like not responsible

00:49:22.480 for just leaving the the girl side of things out of it completely like like i want to talk about

00:49:28.280 the strategy that is involved in finding suitable bachelorettes we'll call them on an island like

00:49:37.460 maui now what are you doing are you a lot of it is walking around and finding new people you're

00:49:43.180 looking for girls at the bar you're talking to you know people at the resort this is similar to

00:49:46.740 like island hopping back in world war ii it sounds very similar yeah but what didn't happen in world

00:49:51.860 war ii was the combo effect of digital applications okay so my situation is i like to utilize swiping

00:49:58.400 apps and i'm not going to name any of them because i have my own dating app obviously which isn't

00:50:02.520 available in hawaii so fuck it i'll say a tinder and bumble i'm on those two and i'll be swiping

00:50:06.620 and what i'm doing is i'm swiping but am i really swiping no i'm looking for instagram handles i'm 0.99

00:50:12.560 looking for the girls who are smart enough and

00:50:14.520 good enough marketers to put their Instagram 1.00

00:50:16.700 handles into their bios.

00:50:18.600 Then, I'm them taking it

00:50:20.820 over to

00:50:22.060 my home ground, which is Instagram,

00:50:25.460 to utilize the blue check

00:50:26.840 that God has given me 1.00

00:50:27.940 to kick the fucking door down 1.00

00:50:30.900 in this situation. Like a lumberjack. 1.00

00:50:32.860 Like a fucking lumberjack. 1.00

00:50:34.140 You gotta understand, 1.00

00:50:36.140 if you are a girl

00:50:38.060 who is visiting Maui

00:50:40.220 or is local to Maui

00:50:41.780 and you get a DM

00:50:43.140 with a blue check

00:50:44.260 at hey big Mike blue check

00:50:45.920 yo that's a big deal

00:50:47.300 your life's made

00:50:47.960 he might as well be

00:50:48.800 Leonardo DiCaprio

00:50:50.020 Messi

00:50:50.940 because it's not

00:50:51.480 because it's not in LA

00:50:52.600 it's not LA

00:50:53.460 in LA you got a blue check

00:50:54.840 yeah so does my janitor 1.00

00:50:55.920 my maid has a fuck 1.00

00:50:57.080 you know what I'm saying 1.00

00:50:57.600 everybody has a blue check

00:50:58.360 yeah you slang that blue check

00:50:59.360 around anywhere else

00:51:00.520 you're good

00:51:01.660 so we go to Maui

00:51:02.680 and so like I say

00:51:03.900 I send out

00:51:04.440 I don't know

00:51:05.260 call it two

00:51:06.040 three hundred DMs

00:51:08.060 okay

00:51:08.740 my hit rate on him

00:51:10.480 might be

00:51:12.780 literally lately

00:51:14.740 98% I would say response

00:51:17.280 rate. I would say I can show you

00:51:19.040 I can show you my response rate because by the way

00:51:21.260 I'm quite skilled at what I'm saying

00:51:23.400 as well so it's a combo effect.

00:51:26.020 Can you show

00:51:26.780 the teethless one and make that sound at the same

00:51:29.320 time please?

00:51:31.320 He's good. He also does

00:51:33.400 an extremely

00:51:34.400 effective

00:51:37.440 and efficient

00:51:39.600 copy and paste oh that was funny so i met so so when you are when you're firing off at uh

00:51:46.720 call them specialists you're not shooting for generals here okay these are these are sub

00:51:52.560 five thousands okay oh no this is the epitome of our generation let's dive in i write it i write a

00:52:02.300 funny thing that says this it says hi i've just landed on your island with my controversial

00:52:06.720 youtube friend oh my god we have nothing to do please help one it was one thing and i sent it

00:52:13.360 i then located 20 30 000 other girls to send by the way the exact same message to so it's find 0.88

00:52:21.860 copy paste find copy paste i boom i fucking boomed them out and then all of a sudden me and my homie 0.98

00:52:28.760 got a fucking roster of girls to chill with for the rest of the fucking trip yeah but i will say 0.93

00:52:32.920 we didn't hang out with any of them and like not those ones that's not a single one it's funny you 0.99

00:52:37.060 say that a single one we met no we met one we met one because the kid we met and hung out with

00:52:43.020 knew her we met that kid that we were hanging out with that dog and duck the first night and

00:52:48.100 he knew her and brought her around and by the way she was a misfire but she didn't oh yeah you don't 0.52

00:52:52.900 remember because you probably she probably even never made it through the defenses to get to the

00:52:56.420 general bro do you know what i'm saying like i was like yo you seem nice but not nice enough

00:53:01.000 and so we didn't really hang out with her for that long

00:53:03.360 but the point is this

00:53:05.320 what I'm saying is like

00:53:06.360 pretty much every time meeting people

00:53:09.300 in person tends to be the way to do

00:53:11.460 like anything by the way

00:53:12.420 unless you're watching this and the blue check

00:53:15.580 is the best thing you have going for you

00:53:17.320 that's the difference for us

00:53:19.020 that's the difference for us

00:53:19.940 in real life we're funny

00:53:22.040 we're at least like semi good looking

00:53:24.520 and by the way I found this to be the most important thing

00:53:27.640 we're a lot bigger than you thought we were going to be 0.98

00:53:30.980 every fucking time 0.98

00:53:32.820 like literally 0.99

00:53:34.700 you guys have so much time

00:53:36.400 the Emily Willis

00:53:38.900 relationship started out of

00:53:40.760 you're so tall like I didn't understand

00:53:42.840 this and I hate to

00:53:43.860 Emily Willis went up to Mike and said you're tall

00:53:45.900 I want to climb you like a tree 1.00

00:53:47.440 and she climbed his dick 1.00

00:53:49.120 she climbed that tree 1.00

00:53:52.960 this was one of the times

00:53:54.920 where like that made me realize

00:53:57.120 just how like much of

00:53:59.100 a cheat code that height thing is

00:54:00.860 It's a big advantage

00:54:04.060 It's tall, it's a tall order

00:54:05.220 I fell in love, what's new?

00:54:09.700 Oh you did

00:54:10.080 I'm lying

00:54:11.320 I said it, like I always do

00:54:14.160 Did you guys make out?

00:54:15.740 Nope

00:54:16.140 Definitely not love

00:54:17.840 What happened? Bad breath?

00:54:22.200 Don't do it to me

00:54:22.740 Did you just eat some fish?

00:54:24.040 Don't do it

00:54:24.520 He looks like he kind of still want to do it

00:54:29.560 Do it

00:54:30.640 Engaged

00:54:31.640 She was engaged

00:54:32.700 Tricky bro

00:54:34.480 When you fall in love 0.71

00:54:35.240 With a girl 0.91

00:54:35.720 Who's got a fiance 0.99

00:54:36.540 What do I do huh

00:54:37.900 What do I gotta do

00:54:39.100 I'm a guy

00:54:39.600 I just wanna play frisbee

00:54:40.740 You showed up a little too late

00:54:41.700 And by the way

00:54:42.680 She called off

00:54:44.700 Her wedding for him 0.99

00:54:45.400 I really fucked it up 0.97

00:54:47.540 Dude 0.79

00:54:47.680 Wait what 0.99

00:54:48.980 She had a date 0.79

00:54:49.980 She was about to get Maui'd 0.97

00:54:51.240 I just like burped a little bit 1.00

00:54:53.220 What

00:54:53.620 Yeah

00:54:54.040 He broke up 1.00

00:54:55.260 A fucking wedding in Maui 1.00

00:54:56.380 So he meets this girl 1.00

00:54:57.640 At the bar

00:54:58.080 And she called it off

00:54:59.480 Hold on 0.84

00:55:00.180 So he meets this girl at the bar.

00:55:01.600 They start talking. 0.99

00:55:02.500 It's a beautiful blonde chick.

00:55:04.280 And she's like, oh, he's like, what are you here for?

00:55:06.800 And she's like, oh, I'm here.

00:55:07.800 I'm engaged.

00:55:08.480 Like, I'm here to get married.

00:55:09.500 I'm getting married this weekend.

00:55:11.040 And he's like, wow, that's incredible.

00:55:13.240 Like, it's just a shame, you know, because so beautiful.

00:55:16.220 Like, like that kind of humor, like just like knocking them.

00:55:18.900 And so, so we're hanging out one night and we're drinking and, you know, one drink leads 1.00

00:55:22.920 to another one dick leads to a vagina. 1.00

00:55:24.940 and all of a sudden 1.00

00:55:27.140 the next day we wake up

00:55:28.880 and she

00:55:30.880 is texting him something about

00:55:33.160 last night changed the way that like I feel

00:55:35.040 about my fiance

00:55:36.160 you're incredible like I know we both live

00:55:39.080 close to LA like we should we should talk

00:55:41.080 oh no and

00:55:42.500 he responded to her with no

00:55:45.020 response because none of this story is true

00:55:46.620 I made every single part of it up and I

00:55:48.980 feel bad kind of bad about it dude

00:55:50.700 no but

00:55:52.020 That's not true

00:55:54.460 Some of it is

00:55:55.320 Some of it is

00:55:55.960 Nah no

00:55:56.680 Spencer I'm sorry

00:55:57.620 Spencer I love you

00:55:58.900 No no

00:55:59.520 Oh the YouTube plaque fell on his knee

00:56:03.500 He runs marathons

00:56:05.860 Help me up

00:56:06.380 That was the worst fall yet

00:56:08.160 He got air

00:56:09.360 Help me up

00:56:10.080 He was at least four feet off the ground

00:56:11.480 Help me up

00:56:11.980 We're good

00:56:13.460 We're good

00:56:14.300 Grab the wire 0.99

00:56:15.880 Holy shit 0.99

00:56:18.640 Dude that actually kind of hurt 0.98

00:56:19.820 I'm happy

00:56:20.640 Yo, you got air.

00:56:23.020 I'm impressed by the send, bro.

00:56:24.580 You really got to go back, bro.

00:56:27.060 It doesn't just go. 0.99

00:56:28.240 You got to send it and hit your head, bro.

00:56:30.020 What hurt worse, the fall or the YouTube plaque? 0.79

00:56:32.420 No, the YouTube plaque, bro.

00:56:33.140 It's 100 pounds.

00:56:34.240 Yeah, that hurt.

00:56:35.380 That hurt.

00:56:35.720 My running career is over.

00:56:37.420 Yo, so by the way.

00:56:38.500 No, no, the only part of that is true.

00:56:40.500 That is, I met this girl and she was engaged and then we just, that was it.

00:56:44.520 Obviously not.

00:56:45.480 But it brought up a massive morality conversation.

00:56:49.500 I just bit my tongue off

00:56:52.100 I lean a certain way on it

00:56:54.140 It really hurts a lot

00:56:57.480 Are we getting into the feelings on it?

00:57:02.040 Wait something

00:57:02.720 Are you really sticking with nothing?

00:57:07.600 Oh no

00:57:08.480 What actually happened to that story that was true?

00:57:10.660 Nothing?

00:57:11.040 I met a girl

00:57:12.280 I fell in love with her

00:57:13.140 She's engaged

00:57:13.640 I fell out of love with her 0.99

00:57:14.600 Because she was engaged

00:57:16.100 I'm still in love with her

00:57:16.980 I love her

00:57:17.920 It made me realize, I think I'm going to be settling down, boys, soon.

00:57:23.580 Really?

00:57:24.000 Yeah, same.

00:57:24.720 I think so.

00:57:25.200 I have visions and dreams of me spending my time with a woman who I love that will make me better and make me continuously happy instead of chasing what is fleeting.

00:57:38.620 And that is the Instagram thought.

00:57:41.040 Yep.

00:57:41.320 Let's go.

00:57:42.680 Let's go. 0.99

00:57:43.380 Honestly, honestly, I have caught Ebola from the amount of times I've heard this fucking story. 0.99

00:57:49.480 You have been saying this for the past 20 fucking years, dude. 0.99

00:57:53.820 At what point are you going to say some truth hoods? 0.99

00:57:56.000 I kind of smelt it, though. 1.00

00:57:57.420 I don't fucking smell shit. 1.00

00:57:59.040 You want to know why? 1.00

00:58:00.640 Because my nose is clogged with water from the shit water that I was swimming in for the past four years. 0.99

00:58:06.120 Listen, dude. 0.99

00:58:06.940 damn dude if you if you cuff up if you get cuffed you're gonna perform so much better you're gonna 0.99

00:58:14.140 be so focused on what you do like honestly there's that there's there's a lot you have to give up 1.00

00:58:18.520 but dude i agree i agree it's worth it do you want to talk about the fucking annoying accomplice girl 0.86

00:58:24.100 that i mean i um uh yeah we'll mention it we'll let's do this so we so quickly 0.98

00:58:32.240 God I hate

00:58:34.480 telling stories with a filter on dude

00:58:36.040 that's why

00:58:36.840 so we go to this bar and we're at this bar

00:58:40.360 and we walk in and we scope

00:58:42.280 the scene out dude we're scoping it and the first thing

00:58:44.380 I noticed was a Becky 1.00

00:58:46.440 with a big old butt dude just on the 1.00

00:58:48.380 dance floor shaking that thing dude 1.00

00:58:50.220 wow just she was she was it 1.00

00:58:52.440 dude right and by the way she was fucking 1.00

00:58:54.360 it dude she was the girl 1.00

00:58:56.540 and unfortunately 1.00

00:58:58.520 for me that girl always goes to

00:59:00.380 Logan because you know

00:59:02.240 whatever you want to imagine the reason is okay so we're there and he you know he talks to her

00:59:09.800 but it's kind of like it was kind of like two like like cave people talking like there's no

00:59:13.840 real connection like not much happened bro right the the rockets weren't firing off bro right and

00:59:20.900 i'm watching i'm scoping i'm waiting for him to slip on a banana peel metaphorically i'm like

00:59:24.420 how's he gonna fuck this up so i could dive into that big old booty dude right by the way it's a 0.99

00:59:28.880 it's a great game plan you know i'm gonna fuck if i my thing in life is if i got something good 0.98

00:59:32.660 going for me i'm gonna fuck it up i'm gonna make sure nothing good happens it's a joke spencer 0.98

00:59:38.260 relax wait no that's that's totally true because i did fuck it up my problem is i i kind of like 0.80

00:59:44.560 playing the field too much like uh yeah the field like i like i'm a i'm a pinball machine bro

00:59:52.160 So we're there and he turns into the pinball machine mentally while he's talking to her.

01:00:02.260 And I'm watching.

01:00:02.760 I'm like, if I had a sports commentator that I was sitting with, I'd be like, this doesn't look good for him, Steve.

01:00:08.840 He's at the 10-yard line and he has dropped the ball.

01:00:11.340 The Raiders have regained possession.

01:00:13.820 And so I'm watching.

01:00:14.460 She tells me, she goes, I'm the best dancer in this bar.

01:00:17.140 You talk to any other girl here, you're going to be wasting your time.

01:00:19.800 And then she texted me when I was talking to another girl there.

01:00:21.720 she texted me you're wasting your time and by the way she maybe she was right maybe she was right

01:00:26.960 but two other girls that he had already started to sprinkle the seeds of joy and love with over

01:00:32.100 the other days leading into it were at the bar so then he starts talking to them so i see my in so

01:00:36.500 i go up to her baba have conversation we're just like hanging out and she's like i don't usually 0.98

01:00:40.500 fuck with white boys but something about you just i don't know or some shit right and so we're just 0.97

01:00:46.300 like something like that and so we're just like talking and then we go to this after party he's 1.00

01:00:50.940 got his two checks and if i know anything about lp i know he's trying to finesse the tray way dude 0.98

01:00:55.740 i fucking know that shit dude and so we go to this after party with a bunch of hula dancing locals 1.00

01:01:00.440 they're all fucking microwaving pizzas on top of shit paper towels fucking disaster shotgun and 1.00

01:01:06.160 white claws like a real shit show right and i see the out for me and my girls so we bounce okay 1.00

01:01:11.200 we go back to the hotel here's the problem i'm still a micro influencer so i ain't got my own 0.99

01:01:16.300 room okay because that shit was like two g's at night and my rich friend bought a room but it was 0.92

01:01:20.620 big enough that I had my own spindle 0.99

01:01:22.740 bed. Trundle, maybe it's called.

01:01:24.780 It folds out.

01:01:26.480 Our roommates again. That's kind of like a subtle flex.

01:01:28.660 Yeah, it's crazy. The only thing in the room that actually

01:01:30.620 pulls out, it's crazy. So you pull out the thing

01:01:32.300 and so we go...

01:01:35.500 I'm not going to tell

01:01:36.660 the story to you. 0.99

01:01:37.700 Are you fucking kidding me? 0.99

01:01:40.580 Let's wrap it up. Who does that? 0.99

01:01:42.580 You want me to wrap it up? Nobody did

01:01:44.660 that. You sure you want me to?

01:01:47.300 Spencer. I'll stay.

01:01:48.500 What the fuck is your problem? I'm literally talking 1.00

01:01:50.520 to you you can't just decide to piss 0.76

01:01:52.380 you want me to yell at you or should I 1.00

01:01:54.840 text you the fucking wrestling while you shit 1.00

01:01:56.680 finish the story 1.00

01:01:57.840 so anyway so

01:01:59.800 I go back to the hotel room and now I

01:02:02.440 somehow I end up on the balcony

01:02:04.860 with this girl and it's like

01:02:06.580 4.30am and by the way 0.99

01:02:08.500 shit is it's reached fever 0.99

01:02:10.480 I can't do this you look like your head 1.00

01:02:12.720 is going to explode from urine filling it up

01:02:14.080 so now

01:02:16.260 I'm just going to say and I'll try to say

01:02:18.580 as PG as 13 as possible. 1.00

01:02:20.220 I'm blowing this girl's back out 1.00

01:02:21.220 over the fucking railing, okay? 1.00

01:02:25.620 Let me retry that. 1.00

01:02:26.900 I'm fucking- 0.99

01:02:27.380 I no longer have to piss. 1.00

01:02:28.580 I'm making out with this girl, okay? 0.99

01:02:30.120 And there's like security fucking lights. 0.98

01:02:31.860 Hey, what are you kids doing up there? 0.98

01:02:33.280 So anyways, we go back inside

01:02:34.600 and guess who shows up?

01:02:35.840 Mr. Magoo with his two pack of Funyuns, right? 0.87

01:02:39.780 So he walks in and he goes,

01:02:42.280 he goes, Mike, I got a live one.

01:02:44.200 He goes, this one girl, she's on the list. 1.00

01:02:46.820 Spencer, you don't get the fuck out of here. 0.99

01:02:47.920 I'm listening. 1.00

01:02:48.340 I have a list

01:02:49.780 He's got a black list

01:02:51.580 If you get on it and there's only 0.91

01:02:53.160 Three girls before this tour 0.97

01:02:55.960 Before this trip

01:02:56.760 And I can name who they are but I won't though

01:02:58.940 It's a list that I have

01:03:01.640 I can see beads of urine 0.97

01:03:03.600 Running down your head 0.88

01:03:04.820 It's a list that I have

01:03:06.660 If you're on the list

01:03:09.260 I never want to see you

01:03:11.860 Or hear from you again in my life

01:03:14.200 You're barred

01:03:14.800 And I go Mike

01:03:17.580 I don't know how to tell you this

01:03:19.460 This girl's made the list

01:03:20.700 And I need help

01:03:21.720 It turns out 1.00

01:03:22.840 That one of the women

01:03:24.320 Was quite possibly 1.00

01:03:25.740 The most annoying human 0.96

01:03:27.500 I've ever met in my life 1.00

01:03:29.360 And I told the other girl

01:03:30.200 I go hey I know this is your friend

01:03:31.480 I've lived a lot of lives

01:03:33.420 I've met a lot of people

01:03:34.340 Your friend might be 1.00

01:03:36.880 One of the suckiest people 1.00

01:03:38.080 I've ever met in my life 1.00

01:03:38.820 She was bad 1.00

01:03:39.320 She was embarrassed

01:03:39.820 So much so where 1.00

01:03:40.580 I pulled the cord bro

01:03:41.880 I'm not even in it 0.92

01:03:42.660 I'm not even trying to have sex anymore

01:03:43.820 I'm completely out of the mood 1.00

01:03:45.220 I'm like yo fuck 1.00

01:03:46.240 All this shit 1.00

01:03:47.120 As long as this girl leaves this room 1.00

01:03:49.900 As soon as possible 1.00

01:03:51.020 Which by the way didn't happen 0.99

01:03:52.480 I call in the general to make this shit happen 0.97

01:03:54.780 So I go up to her and by the way 0.98

01:03:56.360 My calculator ain't exactly firing off it

01:03:59.320 I'm just wiping some sweat

01:04:00.900 At this point

01:04:01.740 I kind of feel like I want to drag the story out as far as possible

01:04:04.060 Why would you wait to this moment bro

01:04:08.240 You're about to burst and tell me why

01:04:09.800 He's about to pull an episode one mic

01:04:13.200 It just bounced

01:04:13.980 When I went back in the chair

01:04:15.600 I don't know

01:04:16.280 are you hurt

01:04:17.780 because he drank coffee

01:04:18.760 it is hot in here

01:04:20.200 it's hot

01:04:21.160 I'm cooled off

01:04:23.740 did you fly back in your chair

01:04:25.340 I like to make people feel better

01:04:27.500 I agree with him

01:04:28.380 I need to go

01:04:29.180 unbeknownst to mankind

01:04:32.900 I've never seen him sweat this much

01:04:34.960 when he did his Ironman

01:04:36.200 anyways

01:04:37.980 anyways what happened was

01:04:40.500 this is weird now

01:04:42.080 he ruined my flow 0.99

01:04:43.660 speaking of flow I hope he pisses on his feet dude 1.00

01:04:46.480 this is fucked so I go to this girl 1.00

01:04:48.440 I go up to her and I'm like 1.00

01:04:49.520 what's going on babe

01:04:51.560 why are you so sad like you see my friend he's vibing

01:04:54.480 with your girl yo like what's good 0.99

01:04:55.940 and by the way my calculator's fucked it's rusty 0.99

01:04:58.220 I've been drinking and 1.00

01:04:59.820 she's like I just fuck you 1.00

01:05:02.500 get away from me I hate 1.00

01:05:04.480 you she's like I want to sleep and I want 0.99

01:05:06.240 food

01:05:06.700 we can make that happen I'm like lady

01:05:10.020 whatever you want I'm here to provide you and I go

01:05:12.060 by the way can i tell you you're actually really cute and she goes she goes she goes 0.98

01:05:19.100 i shit you not she goes why don't you say that to the other girl you brought back to the room 0.99

01:05:24.900 and i go what are you talking about she goes she's right there fuck i forgot about that 1.00

01:05:30.960 damn it and then she goes to and then she goes and sleeps in my pullout trundle bed 1.00

01:05:36.600 and logan's not doing any kind of romantic activity with this other girl i'll just keep it 0.99

01:05:43.300 like that well i was i was i was out dude like i i'm telling you i pulled the plug there's a night

01:05:48.180 there's a point in the night where i was i go i don't care what happens anymore as long as this

01:05:52.720 girl leaves and i get to go to sleep and by the way if that includes the girl i was talking to

01:05:56.700 i'll be okay right so i'm just gonna condense the story how was how was that basically it was good

01:06:01.740 i pissed a little on my feet though yeah that was that was basically we handled the situation

01:06:05.180 we had how's that possible food at like 5 a.m and but the point is this the moral of the story is

01:06:11.200 it's like you really gotta you really gotta scope out who you're talking to and try to try to read

01:06:17.140 personalities before you uh invest in them yeah like i i did not i did not do a thorough job of

01:06:25.320 like scope and i i can't be doing this of scoping out who i'm hanging out with and i will say

01:06:30.640 alcohol doesn't help because like everyone's different i can handle my alcohol really well

01:06:34.940 so can you so can most of our friends i knew about this girl the second i met her i knew you know 0.97

01:06:40.500 what the first thing she said to me was she goes oh my god it's fucking paul red flag should have 1.00

01:06:45.040 been thrown up immediately immediately i knew and i knew the way she talked she's like her talk was 0.97

01:06:50.320 like when i say it it's obviously very joking about all the blue checks and followers she says 1.00

01:06:53.800 it seriously like one of those girls she's like oh my god like this bitch thinks she's so cool 1.00

01:06:57.900 because she's got 4,500. 1.00

01:06:59.060 I got 6,300, bitch. 0.99

01:07:00.800 I'm like, yo, I'm listening to her. 1.00

01:07:02.020 I'm like, I hate my life right now.

01:07:04.100 Like, it's horrible.

01:07:05.240 But this situation's not the first time it's happened.

01:07:10.560 There's been a lot of times in my life,

01:07:12.160 and I'm sure in yours too, 0.99

01:07:13.220 where you pick up this hot chick

01:07:14.980 and she comes along with some baggage, bro.

01:07:17.380 And that baggage is a human.

01:07:19.380 Which made me wonder.

01:07:22.480 I honestly, I respect it. 1.00

01:07:24.920 And I admire women for sticking together

01:07:27.380 in that capacity and and they're they're willing to bring along their friend who they know 0.99

01:07:31.940 could be just a tornado of horrendous shit and talk about a cock block yeah yeah but but like 0.99

01:07:41.960 remember maybe you said in your story like you let you left you left me at the house to die in 0.99

01:07:45.960 the middle of yes well no i didn't even get to i said i left but it wasn't the way you explained

01:07:49.380 but he's absolutely right when i saw my shot i was like yo this girl's good to go like she wants

01:07:54.040 to do this i want to do this like let's be out and maybe we can grab some food along the way i

01:07:57.540 see a full journey in my head bro right as guys i'm not like but wait my friend my friend i gotta 0.75

01:08:05.240 find my friend and like he wants to take me home but i like all that shit we just bounce bro because 0.78

01:08:11.600 and guess what i'm walking around the streets of maui and i go where's mike and i and then in my 0.95

01:08:18.180 next my follow-up question my answer was i don't know and i don't fucking care because i'm fine and

01:08:23.080 i'm sure mike's very fine right like that's what it was he's happy good i was like i was like i 0.56

01:08:27.880 could do this as long as my boy is all good but it's like what do you do but no we could we could

01:08:32.880 learn from women dude maybe next time we do some sort of uh we do some sort of tether me and you

01:08:38.400 like this and then we we can avoid the situation that happened i i i am if for people out there

01:08:44.260 who are still listening have seen pulp fiction i am mr wolf in these situations he knows this 0.98

01:08:50.140 by the way it's one of the reasons i'm his right hand man yeah he knows when he's got a fucking 0.88

01:08:54.320 issue he calls me and i get crafty if i wasn't doing my thing and he was like yo i got this 0.96

01:08:58.760 girl bro she's fucking it up for me you should see how i take care of that i'm like babe let me 0.85

01:09:03.080 talk to you for a second you like you like chick-fil-a and she's like yeah and i'm like 1.00

01:09:06.400 there's one around the corner what do you say we go two seconds later she dropped off at her 1.00

01:09:10.420 parents house sleeping i just fucking finagle shit yeah but she doesn't live with her parents 0.98

01:09:15.140 i was just weird i was just trying to get a takeaway to be honest yeah i didn't know 1.00

01:09:18.200 Fuck a tether, bro. 0.97

01:09:20.300 No, you don't want to tether each other? 1.00

01:09:22.400 Thanks for joining us on Impulsive.

01:09:25.140 Special guest Spencer Taylor.

01:09:26.560 Do you want to cover anything?

01:09:27.660 You got facts?

01:09:29.900 Do you want a couple?

01:09:31.280 I can do a couple.

01:09:32.040 I want you.

01:09:32.760 Yeah, I want you to be on our show.

01:09:34.300 I'm down for it.

01:09:35.480 I'm so far out of the game, man.

01:09:37.300 Because you're married now.

01:09:39.020 Pretty much. 1.00

01:09:40.000 What's good with all this fucking drama right now, bro? 1.00

01:09:45.280 What drama? 1.00

01:09:45.940 you know what fucking drama i'm talking about what's good with all this fucking drama right 0.99

01:09:52.120 now i really don't i know you fucking don't because you're trying to fix the education 0.99

01:09:55.780 system but us people that ain't trying to fix the education system know about the drama bro 0.96

01:10:00.280 but by the way maybe we don't address it maybe we sit here and we don't talk about it dude

01:10:04.780 i got some good stuff pulled up i got i got one here brad pitt reveals why he went 20 years 0.95

01:10:12.920 without crying did you guys hear about this he's fucking horrible he went 20 years without crying 0.94

01:10:20.200 how is that something you can control yeah that's like i think it's probably because he's an actor 0.99

01:10:26.840 nope seems like something a sociopath would say that's like me saying if you're incredibly

01:10:31.720 emotionally distraught and you quite literally have no choice but to cry how on god's green

01:10:37.780 earth are you gonna stay oh he must knock himself out i've seen this tactic i swear to god when men

01:10:42.440 are about this

01:10:43.940 up here a week

01:10:45.160 they'll hit themselves

01:10:46.280 in the button 1.00

01:10:46.780 the porn stars do that too

01:10:49.740 on the shows

01:10:50.800 he said he said

01:10:51.860 I hadn't cried

01:10:52.860 in like 20 years

01:10:54.380 and now I find myself

01:10:55.940 at this later stage

01:10:57.200 much more moved

01:10:58.320 moved by my kids

01:10:59.440 moved by my friends

01:11:00.400 moved by the news

01:11:01.620 Pitt explained

01:11:02.780 imagine now he just cries

01:11:04.140 all the time

01:11:05.340 yeah

01:11:05.600 because he saved up 20 years

01:11:07.840 he cries when he's like

01:11:08.700 making like pottery

01:11:09.740 that's what he says in here

01:11:11.240 are you serious?

01:11:11.900 I'm dead serious

01:11:12.320 You're lying about that

01:11:13.640 No 100%

01:11:14.600 He cries when he's making

01:11:15.640 I've saved up all this

01:11:17.080 Yo how you go from

01:11:18.140 How you go from being like

01:11:19.220 Sociopathic

01:11:20.280 Like I got no feelings

01:11:21.080 To like just the 1.00

01:11:21.720 Biggest pussy in the world bro 1.00

01:11:23.420 Like you're crying 1.00

01:11:24.020 When you're making pottery

01:11:24.940 No I don't think

01:11:25.800 What about pottery

01:11:26.620 Makes you want to shed tears

01:11:27.880 I think it's like his escape

01:11:29.280 He's probably thinking about stuff

01:11:30.860 He's crying not necessarily

01:11:31.740 About the pots

01:11:32.360 But about the things

01:11:33.120 That made him go

01:11:33.920 I love that

01:11:34.840 I love that

01:11:35.640 But I don't love

01:11:36.860 The polar opposite shift

01:11:38.420 That doesn't make sense to me

01:11:40.220 How you can control

01:11:41.160 you can quite literally stop yourself

01:11:43.360 from crying because of some sort of like weird

01:11:45.060 male like I want to like whatever

01:11:47.160 his complex was yeah to like now I'm gonna

01:11:49.160 because I love it

01:11:50.700 but I don't like the gap you took before you had to get

01:11:53.280 there it's like such a like you said it's such a thing

01:11:55.240 you like have no like I went 34 years

01:11:57.440 with legs

01:11:58.280 you know what I'm saying like like I had a choice

01:12:01.500 I'm not sure I do

01:12:03.260 what no no I'm saying like you said

01:12:04.820 you said it was

01:12:07.360 like a thing that he couldn't choose

01:12:09.020 like he like he didn't

01:12:11.140 he chose for 20 years to not cry.

01:12:13.260 It's like,

01:12:13.620 it's like,

01:12:14.120 Oh, 1.00

01:12:14.280 I went 34 years with a fucking breathing. 1.00

01:12:17.820 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:18.320 Well,

01:12:18.680 in other news,

01:12:19.820 um, 1.00

01:12:20.840 fuck you guys. 1.00

01:12:21.680 Spence, 1.00

01:12:22.020 why don't you go pee on yourself again? 0.83

01:12:23.780 Uh,

01:12:24.180 I already did that.

01:12:25.080 Um,

01:12:25.500 so North Korea is threatening,

01:12:28.540 is threatening to give the U S a Christmas gift.

01:12:33.960 Unless,

01:12:34.520 unless Washington abides by an end of year deadline set,

01:12:39.920 set by concessions in exchange for a possible deal to curb its nuclear weapons they're like

01:12:46.840 they're like they're like honestly dude what i figured out is like it's the equivalent of you

01:12:52.620 being like a like a a a high school senior right and you've and you've like worked your whole life

01:12:59.380 at being like an assassin and you're a high school senior and a second grader comes up to

01:13:03.880 with their lunchbox and they're like i got a christmas gift for you buddy exactly and you're

01:13:09.900 so much. Leave me the fuck alone, dude. 1.00

01:13:11.780 Don't ever talk to me. That's what Donald Trump 1.00

01:13:13.520 basically said. He just calls him Rocket Man.

01:13:15.760 I know. He just calls Kim Jong-un

01:13:17.680 Rocket Man.

01:13:19.400 He just mocks him. Wait, aren't they homies? 1.00

01:13:21.940 Nah. I think he tried 1.00

01:13:23.760 to be for a while, right? It's fake. They did,

01:13:25.760 yeah. There's a photo of them walking together.

01:13:27.540 Trump was the first president to go there.

01:13:30.100 He's the FARC president.

01:13:32.060 Did I say that? I said the FARC

01:13:33.980 president.

01:13:35.780 Ah, man, that's crazy. Hey, big missiles

01:13:37.820 coming on December 25th.

01:13:40.440 Big missiles. 0.50

01:13:41.540 Jesus' day.

01:13:42.480 Watch out. 0.89

01:13:43.760 Would you ask for a kid's socks?

01:13:45.060 You got an ICBM in your stocking.

01:13:47.420 Congrats.

01:13:49.080 Missile launching capabilities?

01:13:51.220 I don't know.

01:13:51.780 Is that off the grid? 1.00

01:13:53.680 Maybe in your Russian accent it'd be acceptable. 1.00

01:13:57.560 We've been working on intercontinental ballistic missiles 1.00

01:14:00.540 for some time now.

01:14:02.280 They've been quite effective versus the Iron Dome

01:14:04.900 as well as other defense mechanisms

01:14:07.100 put together by both the english americans and the anglo-saxons oh my god i think that made it

01:14:13.200 better whoops yeah we'll probably end the show here yeah you got any other facts i got one that

01:14:19.860 was a little older i don't know if you guys saw this but it was pretty fascinating there was a

01:14:24.940 woman in utah who was topless in her garage working on um what's it what's it called not 0.91

01:14:32.700 drywall the insulation stuff oh my god the itchy stuff and it yeah the itchy stuff and it was hot 1.00

01:14:39.420 so she took her top off and her stepkids are like suing her for like public nudity essentially or

01:14:45.640 like lewdness so there's this huge like nah bro there's this huge lawsuit where i'm from if you 0.98

01:14:51.560 see your stepmom top us in the garage you ask her to have sex oh yeah that's uh that's ohio 0.99

01:14:57.840 I don't know about that 1.00

01:14:59.720 Call it as I see it dude 1.00

01:15:02.580 If I see stepmom boobies 0.64

01:15:05.040 I don't know 0.97

01:15:06.640 Some things activate

01:15:07.600 It's not on me

01:15:10.820 It's a higher power

01:15:12.040 I'm doing God's work bro

01:15:13.360 As seen on Pornhub.com

01:15:16.320 Yeah it's all vertical for that on Pornhub

01:15:18.300 And your girlfriend Emily Willis 0.88

01:15:19.840 One of the queens of it

01:15:21.020 And that's a little tricky 0.98

01:15:24.400 I didn't have a hot

01:15:26.580 step mom but my dad was dating this girl who was super hot and i can't say the thought didn't cross

01:15:33.260 my mind dude just being honest with you like i i was like 15 though so i was not only extremely

01:15:37.700 horny but also incapable of any like sexual anything wow yeah yeah so this is this is 1.00

01:15:44.040 sparking a big conversation about free the nipple bro free the fucking nipple that's yeah yeah so 1.00

01:15:49.720 that's what that's what this is all all kind of bringing light to is the female the female body 1.00

01:15:54.260 has become so sexualized, right? 0.99

01:15:56.980 And so we're trying to free this nipple.

01:15:58.640 Yo, the first time ever, like, usually, bro,

01:16:00.720 like, when it's, like, the feminist movement, 1.00

01:16:02.620 it's these crazy green-haired fucking gremlin women 1.00

01:16:05.700 that crawl out of layers. 1.00

01:16:06.840 They're like, fuck you, motherfucker! 1.00

01:16:08.380 Like, psychopaths, dude. 1.00

01:16:11.260 Psychopaths. 1.00

01:16:12.020 They're, like, wearing trash bags. 1.00

01:16:13.900 They have antennas on their head. 1.00

01:16:15.540 And they're like, fuck you, women! 1.00

01:16:17.120 Fuck you! 1.00

01:16:18.180 And you're just like, lady, chill the fuck out, dude! 1.00

01:16:20.800 Get away from me! 1.00

01:16:21.860 the freest wow the free the nipple movement is run by some of the hottest women bro like julia 1.00

01:16:29.840 rose is running the free then it's like one of the heads of the free the nipple movement

01:16:34.120 isn't that your girlfriend now no i want her to be though but like honestly like yo

01:16:38.780 the the the like split apart between the free the nipple movement and the quality of their

01:16:43.980 representatives versus like any other category whether it be the right the far right the far 1.00

01:16:49.260 left the feminists like i said like people that are pushing for like tougher laws on potato farming

01:16:54.580 like it doesn't matter what it is i i'm with you guys 100 but you know does freeing the nipple

01:17:01.040 just cause mayhem in society oh like like do you just have to embrace the mayhem ah it's it's

01:17:08.080 i don't know i'm i'm i'm imagining this i'm imagining me at the airport and me seeing a

01:17:16.840 couple nipples breasts breast nipples bristles i just wonder i wonder what i would i wonder what

01:17:25.720 i would do but i'm usually pretty respectful like i remember i i remember britney furlon 0.99

01:17:32.920 i came to la oh shit i came to la for the first time i was 18 and she flashed me as like a like

01:17:38.260 a welcome to la thing it was the first time i was ever here and i remember just maintaining eye 0.99

01:17:42.720 contact with her i didn't look at her nipples and big one of the biggest regrets of my life by the

01:17:46.260 it to this day but the point is i was i was respectful i was respectful so i i often ask

01:17:51.000 myself if i saw a woman walking around topless truly freeing the nipple like at the airport 0.97

01:17:55.560 perhaps i i mean i don't know if like i don't know if i would maybe maybe glance but oh she

01:18:01.520 freed her nipple and then next so this is current logan paul not like we're just gonna say that

01:18:07.100 you're speaking from the you're speaking from the place of the fact that pretty much every 0.99

01:18:12.120 girl you see shows you her tits like at some point or another like just like y'all want him 0.99

01:18:16.980 to see my boobs right every normal every average man in america they see a pair of boobs bro and 0.99

01:18:22.720 it's like it's out dude yeah they forget their name they want to give people free credit cards 0.99

01:18:26.820 but here's the thing is they don't give a shit we've gotten to that point as a society versus 0.96

01:18:31.380 like when you go into like a native tribe for example that's like everyday life so they're not 0.98

01:18:36.680 they're not even look i mean it's like oh yeah it's a nipple you know i've seen i've seen the

01:18:40.680 documentaries and nevermind well i'll say it now well i'm just saying you're using the airport as

01:18:47.420 an example like guys can't wear guys have to wear shirts that's true that's a horrible example

01:18:51.980 right but just maybe the water park yeah but in the in the garage seems a little excessive i mean

01:19:03.060 those kids dude yeah who i mean that's oh i see what's happening there's probably some sort of

01:19:09.580 this weird there's a weird chasm in the relationship between their stepmom and dad they must not like

01:19:17.360 their stepmom like that happens all the time right they may have been looking for an in to be like yo 1.00

01:19:21.400 bitch like we out here yeah and so are your tits but that's unacceptable we're gonna voice that to 1.00

01:19:25.840 you via this lawsuit and subpoena you ever seen a set of uneven floppy boobies yeah i could frighten 1.00

01:19:32.860 you question for you would you want to sue the person that showed you them because i fucking 0.99

01:19:37.720 would do you hear what i'm like think about that maybe it was just a really bad set of titties 1.00

01:19:42.500 bro and they were just like yo fuck you for showing us those fun bags dude those are horrible 1.00

01:19:47.140 you know what i'm saying yeah you gotta think about it i love the the deep philosophical 1.00

01:19:52.520 routes you take on these kind of things i mean i got hot takes i got hot takes you're right 0.54

01:19:56.820 this was a hot so this is a crazy episode so i'm sweaty as fuck yeah i've never pushed that far 0.62

01:20:04.760 into the like holding my piss in yeah i feel you thank you guys for listening to this episode of 0.82

01:20:09.580 impulsive what has been going on with you with the sign-ons you'll have a full 0.67

01:20:15.920 whole episode of perfect speech and then as soon as it comes time to say three words that you've

01:20:20.280 said 9 000 times in your life you just can't i think i'm i think i had a stroke yeah again

01:20:26.340 okay number 60 subscribe and also thank you for subscribing um it's good to be back on impulsive

01:20:34.280 We've got episodes coming up that you can watch.

01:20:36.700 More episodes that you can watch.

01:20:38.700 Make sure you watch them.

01:20:41.000 Yep.

01:20:41.400 Watch them now.

01:20:42.060 Bye.

01:20:42.620 See you next time.

01:20:43.300 Bye.

01:20:56.300 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

01:20:58.860 We have a new podcast.

01:21:00.280 It's called Don't Lie to Me.

01:21:01.660 I'm Lexi Iwanu.

01:21:02.700 We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

01:21:07.080 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references,

01:21:11.400 occasionally different opinions.

01:21:12.740 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

01:21:15.660 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes, Good Taste is my business.

01:21:20.740 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:21:27.260 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman.

01:21:29.180 Angela Jaritana.

01:21:30.100 Jeremy Colhane.

01:21:30.800 Patrick McDonald.

01:21:31.440 And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast.

01:21:35.560 The Improvised Character Comedy podcast, where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.

01:21:41.400 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants.

01:21:44.480 And we do a little Halloween sometimes.

01:21:46.700 Does the Pope dress up?

01:21:48.020 He winks on Halloween.

01:21:50.300 He gets right up next to the microphone.

01:21:52.000 I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other.

01:21:55.120 You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

01:21:59.920 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:22:07.960 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast, the true crime comedy podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

01:22:18.000 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

01:22:19.880 Ooh, I scammed them.

01:22:21.080 What?

01:22:21.540 I could talk to you for an hour.

01:22:23.060 You're a generational yapper, like me.

01:22:25.080 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

01:22:26.840 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.

01:22:30.340 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app,

01:22:33.320 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:22:36.320 Scam Goddess!

01:22:38.180 I'm Hamza.

01:22:38.940 And I'm Martin.

01:22:39.600 And we're the hosts of Out of Character,

01:22:41.060 the best podcast in the world, is what they said.

01:22:43.800 Wait, they said that?

01:22:44.820 Yeah, yeah, they said that.

01:22:46.100 The best podcast with two best friends who jabber

01:22:48.900 and talk about topical, trendy, funny stuff,

01:22:51.660 give our input on it.

01:22:52.760 That's what you've needed, I think, up until now, listener.

01:22:55.060 Listen to Out of Character on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:23:00.500 Sometimes I just feel like a burden.

01:23:02.140 You're a bird.

01:23:02.900 You fly.

01:23:03.600 You're a martin.

01:23:04.260 And we are Out of Character Podcast. 0.63

01:23:06.500 Dude, you messed up the clip.

Impaulsive with Logan Paul - December 04, 2019

E140 SEX AND FIGHTS IN HAWAII - IMPAULSIVE EP. 140

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Transcript