Impaulsive with Logan Paul - E179 LOGAN PAUL WILL BE PRESIDENT - IMPAULSIVE EP. 179

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00:00:30.500 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

00:00:33.060 We have a new podcast.

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00:00:35.860 I'm Lexi Iwanu.

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00:01:00.000 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Culhane, Patrick McDonald, and we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast.

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00:01:42.140 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast,

00:01:47.800 the true crime comedy podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

00:01:52.180 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

00:01:54.080 Ooh, I scammed them.

00:01:55.260 What?

00:01:55.720 I could talk to you for an hour.

00:01:57.120 You're a generational yapper, like me.

00:01:59.140 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

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00:02:04.520 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:02:10.480 Scam Goddess!

00:02:12.300 Logan, you have a chance.

00:02:14.040 What do you mean I have a chance?

00:02:15.340 You have a good chance.

00:02:16.040 No, no, no, I'm going to win.

00:02:17.640 I told them yesterday.

00:02:18.580 Before I die, before I die, I will be president of the United States.

00:02:22.060 And honestly, honestly, I will probably be a very good president.

00:02:25.760 I can't wait.

00:02:29.140 i like logan in pre-podcast mode better than podcast do you like me in real life 0.99

00:02:37.280 yeah which version of me don't you like toothpick logan oh he's a dick welcome back to impulsive 0.52

00:02:43.560 the number one podcast in the world thanks for subscribing oh i'm assuming you subscribed

00:02:49.260 so if you did then thank you but if not i don't know i don't i got no words for you

00:02:55.480 but yeah dude we discovered in the so we shoot our podcasts on mondays and wednesdays so it gives us

00:03:01.840 a lot of time to collect material like we all have between wednesday and sunday or the monday

00:03:06.440 today that we're shooting the podcast we all have time to learn about each other in life and come up

00:03:11.360 with questions and write them down with our notes subject matter to talk about and i don't know what

00:03:16.200 happened last week i i put a toothpick in my mouth because you know some in my teeth and i kept it in

00:03:21.740 for longer than I probably should have 0.99

00:03:23.580 and I transform into a fucking dickhead 1.00

00:03:27.540 like an Italian mob boss. 1.00

00:03:29.460 It wasn't the first time that you've done it

00:03:31.180 or that you've gone into that mode.

00:03:33.840 It was just the first time that I think

00:03:35.520 I truly noticed what it does to you

00:03:37.640 because it's the little mannerisms

00:03:39.680 that come along with tooth and talking.

00:03:41.020 That's why, yes.

00:03:42.320 It's not when you have it in your mouth,

00:03:44.640 it's when you find an opportunity to pull it out.

00:03:46.180 You go like this, you go,

00:03:47.380 I'm like, Logan, we're having this personnel issue,

00:03:49.460 which we are,

00:03:50.340 and uh and logan will say normally he would be like i mean what what does he want like can we 0.98

00:03:55.780 talk about it but this time he would just say you know what i say fuck that guy and i'm like look 0.95

00:04:04.120 i'm like i'm like yo you tell tony he's sleeping with the fishes he would say that in a normal 0.99

00:04:08.160 conversation about like uh a a panning error with the camera you tell him he sleeps with the 0.94

00:04:13.240 fucking fishes it's because it's like uh it makes me feel hard way hard like dude when when 0.99

00:04:20.020 Women put on a sexy dress, you know, makes them feel, push up bra, makes them feel sexy. 1.00

00:04:25.060 You put on a Halloween costume, you feel, you want to get into character. 0.98

00:04:27.880 So for some reason, I have a toothpick in my mouth.

00:04:30.660 I don't know.

00:04:31.380 I turned into a mob boss and I tried to buy some more last night.

00:04:35.220 We took, we took a run to the store and I forgot my wallet.

00:04:37.840 So I go, I got, I had my Snickers.

00:04:39.920 I had my blue Gatorade with the sucky top.

00:04:41.700 Why would I get anything else? 0.97

00:04:42.620 Cause the sucky top fits the lips the best. 1.00

00:04:45.340 And some toothpicks.

00:04:47.380 I said, Mike, I forgot my wallet.

00:04:48.840 Can you buy these things for me?

00:04:50.020 Not the toothpicks

00:04:51.940 He refused 1.00

00:04:52.580 He made me put the fucking toothpicks back 0.99

00:04:55.620 The Snickers, the juice 0.99

00:04:57.120 I said I'll buy anything you want in this store

00:04:58.980 I refuse to buy those toothpicks

00:05:00.900 But it's amazing that he's going back for them

00:05:03.180 Oh he will

00:05:04.360 He's consciously like I gotta buy some toothpicks

00:05:06.600 Because I know

00:05:08.540 I swear to god this is a life hack

00:05:10.360 Try it, try this at home

00:05:12.180 If I need to have a conversation that I don't want to

00:05:15.040 Whether it's like

00:05:15.860 The toothpick comes out

00:05:17.700 Yeah, letting someone go, a hard conversation, telling someone how I feel about them, a character flaw that I want to address with someone. 0.99

00:05:25.440 I put that fucking toothpick in, and I deliver a little harder. 0.98

00:05:28.800 It makes me a little more confident. 1.00

00:05:29.920 I don't know why.

00:05:30.500 The only part I like about the toothpick is you can see him thinking.

00:05:33.620 Like, during a normal conversation, he's probably in it 5% talking to us, but when he's got the toothpick, he's really thinking.

00:05:41.100 No, I'm with you.

00:05:41.940 I'm with you.

00:05:42.880 I listen when you speak.

00:05:43.840 I'm a listener.

00:05:44.600 Logan, can you please put that on your phone?

00:05:46.360 Put that on my phone.

00:05:47.200 I'm not distracted, I'm just focused on my phone.

00:05:50.240 It's just his foot starts to tap too

00:05:52.660 when he has the toothpick and he's like, 1.00

00:05:54.340 and then I said to the fucking guy, 1.00

00:05:55.920 I'm like, dude, what the fuck? 1.00

00:05:57.920 Because normally I have him as like, 0.99

00:06:00.200 if it's me and him having a conversation with someone

00:06:02.120 we need to have a painful or serious conversation with,

00:06:05.580 he's my partner in the conversation. 1.00

00:06:07.040 Lately he's become some sort of fucking enemy. 0.99

00:06:09.200 I'm the op, I'm the op. 0.99

00:06:10.160 He's the op and he's like, you know what I say, 1.00

00:06:11.880 fuck that fucking guy. 1.00

00:06:13.280 I'm like, relax. 1.00

00:06:14.180 So what's been going on?

00:06:14.840 We've been doing stuff around the house.

00:06:15.900 we've been watching some new programming

00:06:17.880 which is cool, quarantine

00:06:19.460 I started watching Rick and Morty 0.98

00:06:20.980 holy shit, oh my god 0.99

00:06:23.820 incredible show, such a good show 1.00

00:06:25.700 a year late, I know

00:06:27.040 bro bro bro, I was like voice

00:06:29.680 memoing people, I'm like, dude I started

00:06:31.600 watching this show called Rick and Morty 0.99

00:06:33.160 they're like yeah, join the fucking club 0.99

00:06:35.620 awesome, I would highly recommend 0.99

00:06:37.380 it's like smart elevated humor and I love

00:06:39.560 I love

00:06:40.580 programming where there's a

00:06:43.660 character who's

00:06:44.860 unstoppable or unbeatable that's my favorite and the scientist uh rick rick he's the smartest dude

00:06:51.740 in the universe bro so this dude can get away from he's 7 000 steps ahead of everyone and i love his

00:06:57.000 really clever invincibility it's a great show you started watching uh zero zero zero oh i was

00:07:02.620 on rick and morty with you too i love that as well the simulation episode we watched the other day

00:07:07.380 was probably my favorite everybody all the people in the simulation say yes to anything it's fun to 0.85

00:07:13.240 watch when you're fucked up too like when you're high not that i've been doing i'm high every night 0.85

00:07:17.520 i'm a pothead what's going on i'll tell you why i'm okay with it 0.99

00:07:21.660 dude life life's all about like phases dude and i have yet to have a pothead phase

00:07:27.900 and i think quarantine has done it to me i can't be the only one

00:07:31.920 no i'm sure i can't be no it's just the the the boredom and nonchalance lends itself

00:07:39.820 and like lack of responsibility

00:07:41.960 almost lends itself to just

00:07:43.820 chilling to the

00:07:46.000 to the max

00:07:47.080 and so you know you puff a little bit

00:07:49.620 you watch Rick and Morty

00:07:51.440 except guess what

00:07:52.600 I didn't last night and I woke up this morning

00:07:56.040 at a reasonable time

00:07:56.920 didn't have to drink a coffee to get my day going

00:07:59.180 I was like you know

00:08:01.160 smoke is fine like this is so much better though

00:08:03.640 to like feel like not hung over every day

00:08:05.640 you can sleep so late

00:08:06.900 I think it's such a problem with the quarantine

00:08:09.740 right to force people not force people but people are like oh man i'm gonna drink i'm gonna you

00:08:14.840 know just relax and it's like all of a sudden like no you really should be doing other things 0.93

00:08:19.720 than that yeah we've been back i texted him about it yesterday we've been fucking cranking dude

00:08:25.980 yeah like when i look back at the course of this this quarantine like there wasn't a day where i 0.77

00:08:30.660 sat out in the sun or watched we watch programming at night yeah occasionally but for the most part 0.90

00:08:35.720 we've been fucking smoking dude like i published a god dang book during the quarantine finished a 0.95

00:08:41.160 book published it you're talking about uh yeah um like stuff that's good like value we've done a 0.98

00:08:47.700 ton because you just put on vlog after vlog like it's just we've just been we've been working our

00:08:51.900 asses off through the whole thing and i mean maverick reboot the clothing line the commercials

00:08:55.840 for that like everything we've done throughout this entire quarantine has been positive and i

00:08:59.380 i feel like people either go one of two ways on it you know they either go into smoking mode and 0.97

00:09:04.060 shotgun and beers and and just cranking out or they go into full-on fucking work mode 0.86

00:09:09.660 not david and i talk about this you could do both you can balance we do we do we do both 0.85

00:09:13.720 ping pong pots and pans it's definitely a mix of both of those things it's productive someone's

00:09:20.640 gonna watch that i'm wondering um because the weather is getting better i'm wondering if people

00:09:25.580 are gonna still practice social distancing and stay inside even though it's beautiful out i know

00:09:30.860 Well, I know people are still going to the beaches.

00:09:32.100 You haven't seen the news yet.

00:09:33.140 What?

00:09:33.440 What happened?

00:09:34.080 So in LA, I guess it was the sheriff of LA or the LAPD did a whole flyby on the helicopter,

00:09:41.720 showed empty beaches in LA.

00:09:43.800 Empty?

00:09:44.340 Empty beaches.

00:09:45.220 Okay.

00:09:45.480 Not according to-

00:09:46.200 And he said, thank you.

00:09:46.960 Not according to this.

00:09:47.780 No, pause.

00:09:48.440 Okay.

00:09:48.900 Then you go south to, I think it was like Newport or one of those areas.

00:09:53.820 Orange County.

00:09:54.300 Orange County.

00:09:55.000 Packed beaches.

00:09:56.020 Yeah.

00:09:56.420 Yep.

00:09:56.680 Orange and Ventura beaches are crowded.

00:09:59.020 So Ventura is north of Malibu of us.

00:10:00.860 And then Ventura is South.

00:10:02.600 Wow.

00:10:02.920 People crowd Southern California beaches due to coronavirus concerns.

00:10:07.260 But as long as if you're social distancing, there is still frowned upon to just be in

00:10:12.280 these settings.

00:10:13.360 I mean, I don't know.

00:10:14.020 They said people did do a good job of trying to stay six feet away.

00:10:17.300 But that's, you know, that's not bad.

00:10:18.700 Look at it.

00:10:19.200 But here's what I presume.

00:10:20.700 Yeah.

00:10:22.320 It's such like a human nature thing that when the weather gets nice, it makes you happier.

00:10:26.920 It makes you want to do things.

00:10:27.800 It makes you want to relax, be productive, whatever it is.

00:10:29.700 like I'm telling you

00:10:30.860 this week alone

00:10:31.800 we've all felt it

00:10:32.540 the weather's nice

00:10:33.200 Mike's laying out

00:10:33.840 you got a little

00:10:34.180 nice little glow

00:10:34.760 I got one too

00:10:35.660 my freckles

00:10:36.400 Southern California

00:10:37.080 is the best place to live

00:10:38.060 yeah but this is a big

00:10:39.240 this is a big issue too

00:10:40.420 and I think like

00:10:41.060 it's one that

00:10:41.940 strangely follows

00:10:43.520 along party lines

00:10:44.660 true

00:10:45.900 the right

00:10:46.940 for whatever reason

00:10:48.840 or for some reason

00:10:50.460 is intent on reopening

00:10:52.780 they

00:10:53.600 Trump's been calling it

00:10:55.000 liberation

00:10:55.480 liberate these states

00:10:56.900 liberate

00:10:57.620 get those businesses

00:10:58.540 back open

00:10:59.240 already started some are starting to and then on the other side on the left you have this call for

00:11:03.900 caution so true yo we have been in lockdown for months it has already taken a major toll on this 0.98

00:11:10.440 economy let's make sure we get it right before we fuck before we roll back out that's so true and 0.96

00:11:15.900 so it's so weird to see how everything in this country is split by party lines you say i want 0.98

00:11:24.340 to go out for a cheeseburger and somebody else says i'm getting a hot dog and it's not because

00:11:28.100 they want a hot dog it's because trump likes hot dogs how did we get here like how did this happen

00:11:32.640 how did we end up in a place where this could be real life to even go further i'm so confused at

00:11:38.700 how an entire country can be founded on such polarizing ideas like how we we are we are so 0.97

00:11:45.680 divided and yet we're we're somehow the united states of america we weren't are we fucking

00:11:51.380 united yeah we weren't always bad or is quarantine over help i don't think quarantine is over not 0.67

00:11:59.860 yet still losing my mind italy announced that they were opening up oh really here's here's

00:12:04.720 here's the thing though if if you if you open up too early and the coronavirus starts spreading

00:12:10.580 again and we're going to re-lockdown a lockdown number two you think that's going to be for three

00:12:15.900 months no no no no no that'll be for a year we will be in and then the the hit the economy will

00:12:22.500 take that's a wrap dude that's they do they do say that the summer and the heat possibly kills it

00:12:29.640 and that's one of the one of the thoughts that you know what else kills it ingesting uh

00:12:35.060 but the flu is not usually around during that is a myth is it yes the heat sure the flu sure

00:12:45.280 coronavirus no well we don't we don't we don't know i think when it when it first came out and

00:12:49.780 trump was talking about it dying off in this in the summer uh did they find out that's definitely

00:12:54.340 not true no i i'm gonna see this is my problem with the news these days no one knows what

00:12:59.780 and you're like someone's telling me this thing and then someone's telling me another thing and

00:13:05.140 then you tell someone else your opinion that you have on what you saw and it's wrong it's the worst

00:13:10.100 and then you're like well if i'm wrong what's right and if like whatever's right is being

00:13:15.860 uh dispelled is wrong oh check this out check this out a new study has found that the new

00:13:20.880 coronavirus named sars cove 2 didn't spread as efficiently in warm and more humid regions of

00:13:25.360 the world as it did in colder areas so so maybe it slows it down yeah yeah a little bit so summer's

00:13:32.400 gonna save us that's why they said the south america and like the southern hemisphere is

00:13:37.100 gonna get it what's going on with this no way there's no way there's no way it's happening

00:13:40.480 right now oh wow wow mike majlak she just brought it in wow that is cool man wow that is so cool

00:13:50.180 why is that so much cool with the mine nice dude it's gold let me see this congrats man

00:13:55.900 dude this is hefty youtube stepping up their games and there's a mirror in it so you can be

00:14:00.340 super vain and just stare at yourself all day david can you see me in the mirror this new so

00:14:06.120 Mike just got his

00:14:06.820 1 million subscriber

00:14:07.680 YouTube plaque

00:14:08.440 first off congratulations

00:14:10.040 thank you

00:14:10.580 major congratulations

00:14:12.040 and thank you

00:14:12.920 to Lana Rhodes

00:14:13.500 yeah well and you

00:14:14.520 and you

00:14:14.980 and by the way

00:14:15.840 like you know

00:14:16.440 and all three of us

00:14:17.480 right

00:14:17.740 this thing's beautiful

00:14:18.780 it's nice

00:14:19.200 thank you YouTube

00:14:19.860 this came quickly as well

00:14:21.520 they do good

00:14:22.280 about as quickly

00:14:22.820 as I came this morning

00:14:23.680 what about your

00:14:24.140 videographers and editors

00:14:25.080 along the way Mike

00:14:25.780 three months

00:14:26.220 thank you

00:14:27.160 to Mac Bilsky

00:14:28.380 for helping with

00:14:29.460 the thumbnails

00:14:30.080 and Chris for editing

00:14:31.300 and David for shooting

00:14:32.400 at times

00:14:32.800 and Danny

00:14:33.460 everybody that was a part

00:14:34.600 this is nice

00:14:35.500 thank you

00:14:36.000 just going back on that last thing you said

00:14:38.380 because I think it's funny

00:14:39.600 how long did it take you to

00:14:42.220 this morning?

00:14:43.120 you got context on it or what?

00:14:44.780 yeah so we took fertility tests

00:14:46.880 all of us in the house

00:14:48.020 oh wow

00:14:48.560 you included though so I don't know why you're acting surprised

00:14:51.480 he goes oh wow

00:14:53.360 to tell how strong you're

00:14:55.460 to see how many swimmers we have

00:14:57.280 if we're even fertile

00:14:58.320 like bro I'm honestly like slightly concerned because of my 0.98

00:15:01.260 testicle issue 0.98

00:15:02.420 don't be concerned

00:15:03.480 don't be concerned

00:15:05.440 I took that test

00:15:07.060 Literally a week after

00:15:09.460 Here comes a baby 0.93

00:15:10.580 Oh you took a fertility test? 0.99

00:15:12.700 Yeah because we've been together

00:15:14.560 For a long time

00:15:15.380 Not really practicing safety

00:15:17.720 Not thinking like oh we want to have a baby or don't

00:15:20.280 So you thought something might be

00:15:21.620 So my girlfriend asked me like hey just take this

00:15:23.960 I'm like okay cool

00:15:24.760 Help me administer the test

00:15:27.700 I'll take it

00:15:28.700 She helped you?

00:15:31.500 There's very specific rules 0.99

00:15:33.920 yeah no saliva

00:15:35.260 no saliva

00:15:36.020 yeah precisely

00:15:36.740 no other

00:15:37.800 a good old

00:15:38.160 dry aged day

00:15:39.500 good old dry aged day

00:15:40.760 to pump in this

00:15:41.640 tiny little

00:15:42.280 did you have a problem

00:15:43.960 with that

00:15:44.360 I stuck my whole 1.00

00:15:45.120 my dick 1.00

00:15:45.640 my whole dick went in 1.00

00:15:47.060 so 1.00

00:15:47.280 so mine

00:15:48.120 mine was the perfect size

00:15:50.320 to get caught

00:15:51.000 suction cup

00:15:51.840 to run the edges

00:15:52.640 and I was like

00:15:53.000 these little tubes 0.99

00:15:54.260 just suck on my wiener 1.00

00:15:55.080 but did you have to 1.00

00:15:56.380 did you have to abstain

00:15:57.540 for 48 to

00:15:58.680 48 hours

00:15:59.800 plus

00:16:00.160 I think I

00:16:01.720 I don't think so

00:16:03.040 how many swimmers you got in there I got a lot

00:16:05.120 how many I don't know the number

00:16:06.680 how do they rate it

00:16:07.840 it's like a scale it goes it shows colors

00:16:11.200 and then it's like oh this is how many you have

00:16:13.000 what if you can't see colors

00:16:14.360 yeah

00:16:14.920 show it to a friend

00:16:17.900 I can't read it between 40 and 60 million

00:16:21.120 that's how many you're supposed to have but it's funny enough literally

00:16:23.020 the week that she was like try it

00:16:24.780 was the next week was like

00:16:26.700 I'm pregnant I hope that doesn't happen to me

00:16:29.220 be careful of course it's gonna

00:16:31.020 happen to you yo the things

00:16:33.020 Alana tells me

00:16:35.220 about her getting pregnant with your child 1.00

00:16:37.320 unless you come back infertile 0.99

00:16:39.200 which would be horrible it's possible 1.00

00:16:41.220 I mean I definitely did enough hard

00:16:42.840 narcotics to neutralize swimmers

00:16:44.680 I'm sure like they're probably just drowning 1.00

00:16:47.080 in bong resident fucking 1.00

00:16:48.480 OD'd on heroin like 50 times 0.99

00:16:51.200 already a bunch of guys are just sitting down there

00:16:53.000 in like a trap house that's what I'm saying yeah they're probably 1.00

00:16:54.980 slaying and cracking my fucking scrotum right 1.00

00:16:57.080 now but yo everybody 1.00

00:16:59.120 We waited like three days for this thing, and everybody jerked off this morning to put their cups for the vlog.

00:17:05.720 And I woke up, and I was sitting there, and I was laying there, and Lana's next to me.

00:17:11.320 And I'm like, I have a COVID test at 12 p.m., just to be sure.

00:17:16.960 And I'm sitting there, and she's sleeping.

00:17:18.740 I'm trying to quietly jerk it.

00:17:21.580 And she turns over, and she goes, what are you doing?

00:17:24.380 And what are you watching?

00:17:26.060 Because she wants to know who I'm watching on Pornhub. 0.91

00:17:28.900 There's very specific girls that I am not allowed to watch.

00:17:32.420 Why? 1.00

00:17:33.060 Because they're girls I either used to fuck or girls that she doesn't like, whatever, right? 0.99

00:17:37.360 And so I'm sitting there, and she's like, I like this. 0.98

00:17:40.340 And I'm like, and I wasn't horny at all this morning.

00:17:42.980 No one was. 0.96

00:17:43.880 Because when you apply a scientific procedure to masturbating, it just becomes weird, dude. 1.00

00:17:48.860 Like a cup should never be in front of my penis ready to catch my ejaculate. 0.99

00:17:51.740 I'm sitting there giving myself a dry H.J. 1.00

00:17:54.260 She's watching me now.

00:17:55.640 And then she throws a leg up and she's like, sure, you don't want to just do it here instead?

00:17:59.880 And I was like, Logan said, no, I can't get any bottle of that. 1.00

00:18:03.120 Fuck it. 1.00

00:18:04.080 And that is fucking. 1.00

00:18:05.980 So my thing was even weird because I had to pull out and then insert it into the cup. 0.99

00:18:10.120 We'll probably move on to the next topic.

00:18:12.940 I got to be honest, though.

00:18:13.740 My whole day has been thrown off from that.

00:18:16.060 Really?

00:18:16.620 I'm tired.

00:18:17.600 I see you sitting in the chair just relaxing outside in the sun.

00:18:22.080 But it's good.

00:18:23.160 Like you said, we've all been grinding.

00:18:25.260 So, I mean, what's good?

00:18:27.260 That should be fun though.

00:18:27.980 Hopefully we're fertile.

00:18:30.580 Yeah, I was walking Broly the other day. 1.00

00:18:34.420 I realized dogs are kind of fucked up. 0.99

00:18:36.900 What way? 1.00

00:18:38.560 The amount of times and things this dog pees on during our walk worries me.

00:18:43.800 He's just letting other dogs know where he is.

00:18:45.340 Yo, but, yo, but, yo, but is he saving his pee?

00:18:48.460 Like he only empties a little bit at a time knowing he's going to have to mark his next location.

00:18:53.040 dude he peed on 10 different things

00:18:55.340 and like hefty patches too 0.52

00:18:57.120 so is it like a bladder thing

00:18:59.420 is he controlling

00:19:01.600 and saving I don't know

00:19:03.560 how he can continue to squeeze fluid out of

00:19:05.540 his bladder I do that sometimes

00:19:07.680 I do when I wake up in the morning

00:19:09.740 there are a couple times where I'll pee a little bit

00:19:11.300 in the upstairs bathroom and then go to the other ones as well

00:19:13.660 don't you think that's a urinary like track

00:19:15.580 no I do it on purpose I want people to know

00:19:17.740 that I visited all the bathrooms 1.00

00:19:19.580 and it's all my fucking turf 1.00

00:19:21.480 don't you dare 1.00

00:19:22.340 yeah you're absolutely right

00:19:24.560 I wanted to hit that other program 1.00

00:19:26.900 we skipped it that narcotic shit that I was 1.00

00:19:29.100 watching you hate it 1.00

00:19:30.400 what was the triple zero I've been hearing that

00:19:32.580 zero zero zero so I started

00:19:34.900 watching and then I saw the dudes from Shot Studios

00:19:36.800 were talking about it as well it's on Amazon

00:19:38.400 video which is the I guess you have it for free

00:19:40.960 if you have Prime right

00:19:41.840 and it's this extremely

00:19:44.900 in depth eight part

00:19:46.660 mini series look into one

00:19:48.780 shipment of cocaine from

00:19:50.960 um uh monterey mexico to the coast of italy and it's it's it's fictional and it is

00:19:59.320 fucking incredible david just started watching it um it it shows the cartel side the brokers

00:20:07.120 from the united states who move the product and and and the italian mob who's buying it's a buyer 0.99

00:20:12.040 sellers brokers and he's buying 5 000 kilos as a show of good faith to another italian family

00:20:18.620 for 27 000 a key 135 million dollar shipment and this really happens and the and the mob

00:20:26.280 people that bought it in italy i looked up their real uh revenue i looked up their real revenue

00:20:32.900 they made 55 billion dollars in 2008 not off cocaine was part of it 55 billion dollars jeff

00:20:40.800 it's crazy should we be like rewarding them or congratulating them or like i don't know i mean

00:20:46.520 And they rule through.

00:20:48.120 Yeah, I mean, but the show is wild.

00:20:50.720 I loved it.

00:20:51.960 Logan does it.

00:20:52.600 It's not up his alley.

00:20:53.400 I don't know why.

00:20:54.860 It's not your Steve's.

00:20:55.660 Is it the production?

00:20:56.760 The production is incredible.

00:20:57.600 No, the production is phenomenal.

00:20:58.120 Incredible.

00:20:58.660 Yeah, everything's, even the acting is great.

00:21:01.480 I don't know why I, I don't know.

00:21:03.580 It's not your genre.

00:21:04.420 Yeah, I think that's it.

00:21:05.140 Who's taking the lead on this content war right now?

00:21:07.300 Netflix, Amazon, who else got stuff?

00:21:09.580 That's a great question.

00:21:11.000 That's a great.

00:21:11.440 And Netflix is like number one.

00:21:12.660 Original content I'm talking about.

00:21:13.920 It's definitely Netflix.

00:21:14.920 You think so?

00:21:15.120 And then Amazon.

00:21:15.760 definitely Netflix

00:21:17.040 you know who

00:21:17.640 you know who's

00:21:18.260 in last place 1.00

00:21:19.060 oh Quibi 1.00

00:21:21.580 but they're new 1.00

00:21:23.360 wow

00:21:24.080 they're new

00:21:26.300 but do you know

00:21:27.160 you know Jeff

00:21:28.080 how much money

00:21:29.300 was built into

00:21:30.080 the Quibi marketing

00:21:31.080 and setup plan 1.00

00:21:31.740 I think he raised

00:21:32.000 2 billion dollars

00:21:32.860 I was gonna say

00:21:33.260 I thought it was

00:21:33.620 1.75

00:21:34.820 1.75

00:21:35.120 no 1.75

00:21:36.340 I mean who knows

00:21:36.860 how much he put into it

00:21:37.900 right

00:21:38.160 this is Jeffrey Katzenberg

00:21:39.340 Jeffrey Katzenberg

00:21:40.140 give a little bit

00:21:41.180 of background on Jeffrey

00:21:42.000 SKG

00:21:43.160 Spielberg

00:21:43.700 Katzenberg

00:21:44.260 Geffen

00:21:44.700 yeah

00:21:44.960 uh dreamworks yep toy story lion king we met with him early in uh one of the best early in the

00:21:52.880 days one of the best meetings i've ever had in hollywood because there was no objective it was 0.57

00:21:56.280 just like let's let's chop it up shoot the shit and you know what advice he gave us you remember

00:22:00.520 what was it one of the best pieces of ever exceed expectations exceed expectations dude you you will 0.97

00:22:06.520 never lose in your life if you exceed expectations so here's his quote before i walked into that

00:22:11.300 meeting i sent it to you and it was a quote from an article that he said content is the king maker

00:22:16.700 the platform is kink it used to be the saying content is king yeah right so now it's content

00:22:23.040 is a king maker the platform is king netflix came out didn't have house of cards didn't have orange

00:22:28.420 new black didn't have tiger king right but made it and now they are netflix which is a higher stock

00:22:34.460 price than disney crazy the biggest media company in the world right so there still is a chance for

00:22:41.920 quibi there still is the chances for amazon's and so i was gonna i was gonna i was gonna say this

00:22:46.400 because quibi's uh it's just short it's it's it's it's failing it's failing quibi loses fourth exec

00:22:54.480 in six months head of marketing megan ambrose um here's what i think so quibi for those of you who

00:23:02.300 do not know it's it's like short little exclusive videos that you can only get on this platform who

00:23:07.300 is making original content i saw this all coming when i first heard what they were doing how much

00:23:13.900 money they were raising i i never saw this platform being successful except i do not think

00:23:18.940 the race is over just yet well it's not even started yet i mean netflix had a what 20 year

00:23:23.700 ramp up before they became i mean it was available in the early 2000s yeah but you would think 1.5

00:23:31.020 billion dollars would cause some sort of traction and executives leaving dude like this is this

00:23:36.520 kind of turnover is not is not that out of the ordinary why don't you think it works i i don't

00:23:41.980 know i think it's because okay you have to pay what is it five dollars a month i think it's like

00:23:45.840 maybe something like that for what what do you mean for what for what exclusive content exclusive

00:23:50.100 content for what what for what content that they made just but you know nothing about it no one 0.86

00:23:54.900 knows anything about the content i know that's it that's why why the fuck am i gonna pay five 0.84

00:24:00.500 a month for something i don't i've never even heard of this thing what's so special about this 0.79

00:24:04.120 platform netflix bro this this goes back to there's there's a model here i follow me every

00:24:11.980 single platform that has succeeded instagram youtube facebook snapchat starts for the people

00:24:17.460 anyone can upload anything it starts with it's very democratized then the creators arise out of

00:24:26.100 that the personalities the influencers they come afterwards i bring that up because every platform

00:24:31.680 i've seen that tries to do exclusive content with creators first i.e vessel i.e every other 0.78

00:24:37.640 fucking app that has ever pitched us anything does not work netflix and amazon started by selling 0.91

00:24:44.660 known movies the programming that people watched and then the original content came out of it 0.99

00:24:51.000 And Netflix is doing an amazing job of it.

00:24:53.400 Quibi started with original content.

00:24:55.480 There is no traction right off the bat.

00:24:59.920 You have to cross your fingers and hope that people will watch a show they've never heard of.

00:25:03.540 Two points on that.

00:25:04.640 One is it's early, so you don't know.

00:25:06.760 Did they shoot their load and totally be done?

00:25:10.100 Or are they just slow playing it until we find our winner?

00:25:12.940 And then we're going to really promote because it's going to be this phenomenon and become huge.

00:25:17.560 So we don't know.

00:25:18.660 it's funny that you don't bring up some other of them that have paid tons of money that are doing

00:25:23.380 well or aren't doing well but are in the conversation but you guys haven't brought

00:25:26.360 them up in apple plus tv and in disney plus right huge players in the game that you guys

00:25:32.160 didn't even bring up which is just interesting because it's a different dynamic so there's

00:25:36.160 different niches and they're trying to find them as well as you did bring up a good point about how

00:25:40.120 it started most of them like hbo and many other stars that have you know huge things fx and all

00:25:47.360 them they all started putting up other people's content and then decided to make a reason why

00:25:53.120 it's the same reason that uh artist sings a cover song because you're like wow that was a really

00:25:59.080 good rendition of that song as opposed to a totally new song that you're like i don't know

00:26:04.160 if i like it's hard it's hard you know it's so hard original content is you you're banking on

00:26:09.100 an entire platform hoping your content is good enough isn't quibi using like known celebrities

00:26:13.540 already. That they are. 0.98

00:26:15.320 Chance the Rapper. Chance the Rapper's on

00:26:17.420 Punk'd. Which I don't...

00:26:19.400 And Punk'd just did the Hype House.

00:26:22.620 Oh, they did?

00:26:23.480 Yeah. Chance the Rapper? I'm pretty sure there was a Punk'd

00:26:25.520 from the Hype House. Probably, yeah.

00:26:27.160 Also, I am a little bit salty that I wasn't

00:26:29.480 the host of Punk'd. I'm not sure.

00:26:31.220 You would crush it. We discussed doing it.

00:26:33.600 Yeah, I don't... Chance is great,

00:26:35.620 but also, like, what the fuck? Did you 0.99

00:26:37.480 send a message to Ashton Kutcher yet?

00:26:39.500 He might be able to help. I love

00:26:41.600 Ashton Kutcher he's great you know he grapples I'm trying to grapple with him oh there you go

00:26:45.160 he grappled with uh uh Apollo really yeah wow I didn't know that yeah he's a tall guy yeah he's

00:26:51.280 big he spends a lot of his time um like I love I love seeing what celebrity hobby hobbies are and

00:26:56.440 grappling and jujitsu is one of his Chris Howlett could have set us up that'd be dope but yeah uh

00:27:01.020 yeah Quibi it'd be interesting to see bro who knows we we may be in conversation with them soon 1.00

00:27:04.940 I'm I'm more than happy not after this show no no because like it's we're talking like facts

00:27:10.280 and our opinions.

00:27:12.920 He's like, Quibi is failing. 1.00

00:27:15.860 Give me a call, Quibi. 0.53

00:27:16.840 Let's talk son.

00:27:17.400 I mean, yo, you want to not fail?

00:27:19.080 Maybe give the creators the call.

00:27:21.120 Like people who have done this

00:27:22.560 and started from the ground up

00:27:23.740 and literally all we do

00:27:24.640 is create compelling content

00:27:26.120 that is built to attract an audience. 0.98

00:27:28.460 That's all we fucking do. 0.92

00:27:29.960 Do you think YouTube being free to use 0.97

00:27:32.960 is a major factor for this?

00:27:35.020 Oh my God, yes. 1.00

00:27:36.160 Attracting from Quibi? 0.98

00:27:36.780 Oh my God. 0.99

00:27:37.800 I mean, YouTube's king, dude. 1.00

00:27:39.140 They just got their shit. 0.98

00:27:39.940 down yeah they need you're you're absolutely right though they need the platform first you 1.00

00:27:44.120 can't expect people to just jump onto something they don't know what they're getting unless it's

00:27:47.000 only fans dude will jump on only fans without any idea it doesn't matter 10 bucks a month getting

00:27:51.740 you got an idea you sign up for a girl's only fan account you don't really understand you don't

00:27:55.980 know what you're gonna get somebody doesn't show it doesn't show losing a lot of real ones to only

00:27:59.140 fans somebody text me a lot a lot of dignity is going out the window this quarantine somebody

00:28:02.620 last night text me a shot from only fans and i was like wow i did not know that you

00:28:07.540 would be on, like, looking on OnlyFans.

00:28:10.500 He's like, of course.

00:28:11.420 What are your boys?

00:28:12.260 Not gonna say the name.

00:28:13.120 What are your boys?

00:28:14.160 Just somebody I would have never thought. 0.99

00:28:15.140 Who the fuck is he subscribed to? 0.99

00:28:16.860 Who's he subscribed to? 0.99

00:28:17.900 I never thought.

00:28:18.600 But who's he subscribed to?

00:28:20.020 He's subscribed to the former most viewed

00:28:22.760 personality on Musical.ly.

00:28:25.780 I was literally just gonna tell you

00:28:27.860 that that girl's on OnlyFans.

00:28:29.520 And I was like, and I was,

00:28:31.100 and I was, I said, I feel so bad

00:28:33.600 because she was just this innocent girl

00:28:36.540 when we met her.

00:28:37.540 And it just went the wrong way.

00:28:39.300 Well, I don't know.

00:28:39.840 Is it the wrong?

00:28:40.280 What's she doing on OnlyFans?

00:28:41.860 This was just like a nude picture. 1.00

00:28:44.180 Oh, she's doing nude shit. 1.00

00:28:45.280 This was a nude picture. 1.00

00:28:46.480 Yeah. 1.00

00:28:46.840 And then there was like one with like a banana in her hand. 0.98

00:28:48.920 And the person said like, the banana went all the way down her throat.

00:28:52.340 I think, I think, really?

00:28:54.560 I think you're going to end up in a place in the next three to five years where every

00:29:00.860 valid option for wifedom has an OnlyFans account. 1.00

00:29:04.680 Because the amount of money girls are making on that fucking shit. 1.00

00:29:07.000 It is insane. 1.00

00:29:08.140 It's hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars a week.

00:29:12.440 A week. 0.96

00:29:13.540 So hot girls see that and they say, I don't need no man. 1.00

00:29:17.760 I need OnlyFans.

00:29:19.060 It's like a little rhyme almost. 1.00

00:29:21.080 My brother's about to fucking... 0.99

00:29:24.940 I don't know, dude. 1.00

00:29:27.560 He's getting pretty sexual with Julia. 1.00

00:29:29.260 It's only a matter of time before they're smacking cheeks on Cam.

00:29:33.540 Or before he has an OnlyFans.

00:29:34.840 Do you know I texted that girl

00:29:37.100 Way back when

00:29:38.520 I'm looking at the date here

00:29:39.660 July 8th

00:29:41.000 I remember this

00:29:41.620 Because you don't give many people credit

00:29:43.480 This wasn't the way back

00:29:45.700 2017

00:29:46.580 I don't shoot these texts

00:29:49.660 I said yo super random

00:29:50.940 But just wanted to say

00:29:51.700 I see huge potential in you 1.00

00:29:53.220 You're young as fuck 0.99

00:29:54.360 And super charismatic 1.00

00:29:55.140 Keep killing it

00:29:56.120 And I've had these same texts 0.84

00:29:57.080 From people I look up to and admire

00:29:58.280 I'm glad you're the first person

00:29:59.620 I've said this to

00:30:00.380 I remember that

00:30:00.960 She's the first person

00:30:01.840 I put my stamp on 1.00

00:30:03.180 Fuck 1.00

00:30:03.580 and by the way she's making so much money 1.00

00:30:08.880 so maybe I was right 1.00

00:30:09.960 she can do whatever she wants with her body 1.00

00:30:13.380 but at what point do you

00:30:14.380 question the dignity of your soul

00:30:17.080 it's just tricky because

00:30:19.160 as soon as you go down that route

00:30:21.440 there ain't no going back

00:30:23.360 and you've really limited

00:30:25.380 yourself and the people you can work with 0.97

00:30:27.080 I know girls who won't

00:30:28.940 won't interact with girls who have only fans

00:30:31.380 and do pornographic sexual based content

00:30:33.460 Yeah, but if you offered those same girls 1.00

00:30:35.260 the money that won't interact with OnlyFans girls, 1.00

00:30:37.280 they'd be like, write the check. 1.00

00:30:38.440 And they'd start taking their clothes. 1.00

00:30:40.720 Everybody says this until you write the fucking check. 0.99

00:30:44.580 Not true or remotely. 0.99

00:30:45.180 I'm not even fucking remotely. 0.62

00:30:46.620 I'm telling you. 0.67

00:30:47.000 I think, I think.

00:30:48.140 I'll bet you.

00:30:48.680 How about we bet on it?

00:30:49.900 Don't you think they would do it?

00:30:51.440 Like I said a few minutes ago, 1.00

00:30:54.080 you will continue to see a trend of girls. 1.00

00:30:57.880 I guarantee you that Danny won't do it. 1.00

00:31:00.320 Relax. 0.97

00:31:00.460 You will continue to continue to see a trend over the next three years, five years until until the model changes of girls who would never do OnlyFans doing OnlyFans. 0.97

00:31:09.580 I assure you that. 0.97

00:31:10.960 Hold on.

00:31:11.460 Who's saying it?

00:31:12.620 That girl that girl we're talking about right now that probably at some point said, I'll never do OnlyFans.

00:31:17.040 The thing is, is when you start seeing that money come in, the whole world is changing right now.

00:31:22.300 Everybody women are looking at themselves differently, their own sexuality differently. 0.98

00:31:25.620 It's becoming more and more acceptable to pose nude. 0.80

00:31:28.000 and it's becoming more and more acceptable to touch yourself online.

00:31:31.080 The industries are crossing over.

00:31:33.600 These are facts.

00:31:34.520 I do hear that.

00:31:34.940 Is there not me making an opinion on your opinion aid statements?

00:31:37.440 These are facts.

00:31:37.960 I do hear that.

00:31:38.540 And so as you continue to see it become the norm for you to take your clothes off,

00:31:44.120 you say to yourself, okay, I can either go and make $100K this year

00:31:47.920 working a modeling gig for some company,

00:31:51.120 or I can go make $100K tomorrow on OnlyFans.

00:31:55.040 I'm just saying

00:31:57.060 some people say money's a root of all people

00:31:59.620 of all evil some people say money

00:32:01.480 solves everything money has an

00:32:03.520 effect on people a massive effect

00:32:05.440 that people don't get people to do things that they wouldn't normally

00:32:07.620 do but I still believe I could find

00:32:09.200 those girls that he said

00:32:11.020 that won't do it and never would 0.93

00:32:13.040 those exist too I think you're both right

00:32:15.080 do you guys think online sexuality is

00:32:17.380 helping or hurting society

00:32:18.660 it's a way to question

00:32:22.080 it's a whole show

00:32:23.620 question it's it's a yeah it's a it's a way to question because because i like i like i like the

00:32:28.540 idea of people embracing their body right it's the the thing that their soul lives in which is

00:32:34.580 cool it's cool to people to see people accepting themselves and i love the idea of humans being

00:32:39.000 open and accepting and proud of like what they have should should that be the the basis of their

00:32:44.620 shtick but um i also don't know i don't know if it's healthy like some things are sacred to me

00:32:51.180 I'd like to consider my wife's body

00:32:54.600 sacred. You know what I'm saying?

00:32:56.940 Private, safe for you.

00:32:58.140 Yeah. 0.99

00:32:59.560 I wouldn't want my wife 1.00

00:33:01.680 jerking off another dude with a 1.00

00:33:04.440 fleshlight on her OnlyFans.

00:33:06.200 I wouldn't want that. But it's different strokes

00:33:08.480 for different folks, obviously.

00:33:09.700 Everybody takes everything differently.

00:33:12.240 You know what I'm saying?

00:33:13.120 It's totally personalized.

00:33:15.060 What happens when that becomes the new norm?

00:33:16.660 It is right now.

00:33:18.500 Look at it. Kanye,

00:33:20.180 we've seen Kim get fucked by another man and Kanye has, 0.99

00:33:24.080 he brags, 1.00

00:33:24.900 he brags about it.

00:33:25.760 He thinks billionaire,

00:33:26.820 billionaire Kanye has not,

00:33:29.420 has,

00:33:29.920 has said,

00:33:30.680 yo, 1.00

00:33:30.960 this woman is good enough for me.

00:33:34.240 Having everyone seen that,

00:33:35.960 you know,

00:33:36.640 I mean,

00:33:36.900 and so it's,

00:33:37.500 it really depends on,

00:33:38.600 on the opinion.

00:33:39.120 And like I said, 0.74

00:33:39.780 as more and more girls continue,

00:33:41.560 as more and more and more girls from the top of our world continue to do 0.99

00:33:46.120 porn, 1.00

00:33:46.500 continue to do only fans when it comes time to wife a girl up. 1.00

00:33:50.180 There's a good chance you're wifing up a girl that has done OnlyFans or done porn. 0.99

00:33:54.400 There's no way.

00:33:55.260 Well, think about it.

00:33:56.180 You're talking to us.

00:33:57.400 No, but I'm just saying.

00:33:58.580 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:33:59.500 From this industry.

00:34:00.420 Yeah, in this industry.

00:34:01.140 In this industry, yeah.

00:34:02.020 I think that's completely unrelatable.

00:34:03.680 A lot of people are not Kanye West, and a lot of people will not marry Kim Kardashian-type women.

00:34:07.680 You would be surprised at the amount of-

00:34:09.460 How many Kardashians there are?

00:34:10.720 No, no, no, no, not that. 1.00

00:34:12.120 You'd be surprised at the number of girls who are leaving their job at Wendy's or leaving 1.00

00:34:16.920 their job at uh you know johnson and johnson and going home and turning their camera on right now

00:34:22.740 it is a massive global how many people how many people are you think

00:34:26.760 millions and millions and millions of people so only between only three million between only

00:34:34.000 fans between stripping on twitch between making you know or whatever you do on twitch making

00:34:38.340 porn hub content there are millions and millions and millions of girls and by the way and by the

00:34:43.100 way the saddest they're not the saddest but the most important part of it is it's also a lot of

00:34:47.760 the hottest girls it's the girls that are able to do that stuff because nobody because those are

00:34:52.360 the girls that feel confident enough in their body and their look to do it back to his question 0.77

00:34:55.940 and like i think there's a lot of them that are self judging themselves and then go get plastic

00:35:02.300 surgery or you know surgeries on their face and all that stuff to be like this certain look and

00:35:08.780 i think that's not good right people are going to be judged am i getting the right enough money

00:35:13.960 why am i not making as much as that person why don't i have as many only fans as them it could

00:35:19.420 lead to a very sad sad pit of despair like this i felt sad for this girl that was on yeah bro it's

00:35:27.380 it it shakes my heart a little bit it hurt yeah i do i i found that out two days ago i was like

00:35:33.580 whoever told me

00:35:35.100 I was like 1.00

00:35:35.280 you're fucking with me 0.99

00:35:35.840 right 1.00

00:35:36.040 you're joking

00:35:37.120 then I looked it up 1.00

00:35:38.860 I subscribed to that shit 1.00

00:35:40.740 real quick 1.00

00:35:41.300 I'm just kidding

00:35:41.980 I'm just kidding

00:35:42.900 the point is this

00:35:44.200 quarantine is changing

00:35:45.780 a lot of humans

00:35:47.460 regular behavior

00:35:49.080 like

00:35:50.060 forcefully

00:35:51.100 what

00:35:52.200 forcefully changing

00:35:53.080 people's regular

00:35:53.840 how is quarantine

00:35:54.580 it's not

00:35:55.300 it's a concept

00:35:56.360 if you don't have any money

00:35:57.320 you don't have anything to do

00:35:58.560 you need to find a way to

00:35:59.480 oh yeah

00:36:00.420 change it up

00:36:01.940 yeah me

00:36:02.720 Yeah, dude, there are people doing all kinds of stuff.

00:36:05.580 You're still making a choice there.

00:36:06.140 I wouldn't say forcefully.

00:36:07.340 And also, whether it's quarantine or something else,

00:36:10.320 I mean, if it's OnlyFans content for girls,

00:36:14.460 it might be something on the guy's side too.

00:36:15.900 Everybody at the end of the day is pimping themselves out for something,

00:36:18.880 whether it's through online content and doing everything for views

00:36:22.140 or whether it's taking your clothes off for OnlyFans.

00:36:25.160 Everybody's neglecting someone, neglecting a family member

00:36:27.840 to do something for money.

00:36:29.140 I think we're all sitting here today underestimating the power

00:36:32.340 of the dollar and and and obviously i'm in a relationship with someone so it hits close to

00:36:37.420 home for me but i would never i have no judgment to pass i'm not saying you guys are judging either

00:36:41.640 but i have no judgment to pass on anyone doing anything to make a living in this world no this

00:36:46.480 is where we are it's it's like we can say what we want about it but the times are right now

00:36:50.800 dictating to us that nudity has been completely desensitized in a lot of ways porn is completely

00:36:57.440 accepted completely accepted complete crossover between porn and youtube or the movie or the

00:37:03.480 industry they've got porn stars uh walking the runways for high fashion now it's happening

00:37:08.060 we can sit here and we can talk about it we can be behind on the times but at the end of the day 0.65

00:37:11.760 it's happening and so as you as that continues to happen more and more girls will continue to 1.00

00:37:16.080 get nude for for a dollar that's just the fact well you'd be upset if you have a daughter and

00:37:20.820 she gets nude for a dollar but imagine this in 20 years when it's time for that to do so

00:37:25.420 the first lady of the united states might be doing it and by the way the first lady of the united 0.99

00:37:29.960 states the first lady of the united states has done it right now in this year the first lady

00:37:34.380 of the united states has already done it and so imagine that we're talking 20 years from now

00:37:38.840 playboy yeah she did nude nude uh nude modeling i mean so it's like it's like you know 0.99

00:37:43.460 yeah you didn't answer the question what would i be mad if my daughter did it took it for money 0.99

00:37:49.300 i mean i guess i guess where i am is dude i would prefer that that kind of shit didn't happen 0.79

00:37:54.400 but but you know but you're about to become a best-selling author and you you'll have plenty 0.69

00:38:00.860 of money where you don't have to do that right who knows i push even lana to not do it you know

00:38:05.580 and lana pushes him to do it logan in 30 years goes mike i just saw your daughter on only fans

00:38:12.320 how do you feel um i just here's here's here's that's the second question okay now i gotta tell

00:38:19.960 you i subscribed how do you feel better so here's my here's my real answer and i gave and i gave

00:38:26.720 this answer to someone uh the other day this person was talking to me about a problem they

00:38:33.400 were having with their job and they didn't like their job and they also weren't making enough

00:38:37.820 money and i said well i said i said yeah of course you don't like your job you work in a

00:38:44.680 very toxic industry and it's the same industry that i'm in and they said well why is it 0.90

00:38:49.860 toxic but then then why do you do it and i say because i'm making fucking bank bro and so i don't 0.52

00:38:55.320 mind standing under the toxic sunlight as long as it's pumping cash into my account but i said 0.92

00:39:01.400 you're not you're not making money and so if my daughter does only fans if she's unfortunately

00:39:07.640 if she's making a shit ton of money i may say yo you found the way but if she's a failed only

00:39:12.980 stand only fan star that i may treat it a little bit differently i guess it depends on the level

00:39:16.960 of success. My daughter can do whatever she wants. 0.98

00:39:19.160 I truthfully believe

00:39:20.920 if she chooses to

00:39:22.940 go down that path, 0.99

00:39:24.040 who the fuck am I 1.00

00:39:26.460 to dissuade her? But what if that's 0.99

00:39:29.020 the most sought after job

00:39:30.940 in 20 years? Oh, I just want to grow up

00:39:33.000 and be an OnlyFans. No, seriously.

00:39:34.640 Everyone wants to be a YouTuber now.

00:39:36.400 Maybe.

00:39:38.440 I think OnlyFans also

00:39:40.760 is going to get saturated. Not I think.

00:39:42.860 It's going to happen. Right now is the window.

00:39:44.600 Here's the window. If you're one of the first OnlyFans,

00:39:46.560 girls because imagine imagine you're a dude who is a only fans user and you subscribe to one girl

00:39:52.800 who's your favorite now two is pushing it now you're paying 15 bucks a month to see some girls

00:39:57.760 like naked eventually you're subscribed to 10 people you're paying 50 or whatever the price 0.98

00:40:02.240 100 bucks a month bro shit gets expensive and so i i do believe that this is the window you're 1.00

00:40:08.220 gonna do only fans do it now write those dicks ladies i think someone will come in and steal it 0.99

00:40:12.800 do piracy and then all of a sudden 1.00

00:40:15.100 everybody will get the link and no one will be

00:40:17.220 paying anymore. There's definitely competitors

00:40:19.040 already coming out of the space.

00:40:21.200 It's just a matter of time before

00:40:23.240 other people jump in.

00:40:24.940 I think another reason why you're able to survive

00:40:27.040 in this industry healthily is because 1.00

00:40:28.840 you're kind of fucked up, dude. 0.99

00:40:32.020 In what way? 1.00

00:40:33.160 Mentally.

00:40:34.160 You aren't like a normal human.

00:40:36.520 No, of course not.

00:40:37.440 I was driving on the road the other day and I realized

00:40:40.340 I think part of the reason why I do thrive in this industry is because inside of my mind, 0.93

00:40:46.660 there's tumultuous chaos, fucking hectic energy just spinning, whatever. 0.58

00:40:54.880 And so in this world that we live in, it fits me very well. 0.94

00:41:01.220 There's some weird things that go on in my mind, dude.

00:41:03.920 Absolutely.

00:41:05.080 You know when you stare off, and it's called the stare, right?

00:41:08.940 and you stare off

00:41:09.700 and you don't really

00:41:10.260 not know what you're looking at

00:41:11.740 but there's thoughts going on

00:41:12.940 and it's like this

00:41:13.560 so I was doing that

00:41:15.340 brushing my teeth the other day

00:41:16.400 and this girl who I've been 1.00

00:41:17.300 well fuck 0.99

00:41:18.500 I don't know 1.00

00:41:19.220 I mean she might be

00:41:20.500 a girl

00:41:21.760 she's a girl

00:41:22.940 I think

00:41:23.520 well anyway

00:41:24.360 she asked me

00:41:24.940 what I was thinking about

00:41:25.880 she's like

00:41:26.560 what are you thinking about

00:41:27.060 I was brushing my teeth

00:41:27.900 and I go

00:41:29.720 I was like 0.99

00:41:30.260 holy shit 0.98

00:41:32.180 I'm gonna have to explain 0.99

00:41:32.880 to this girl

00:41:33.140 what I was just thinking about

00:41:34.040 because

00:41:34.540 because I knew

00:41:36.940 I knew exactly

00:41:38.060 what I was thinking about

00:41:38.720 exactly how I got there and it

00:41:40.380 terrified me that this is like the actual

00:41:42.660 thoughts that go on in my brain

00:41:44.240 so I asked I was like do you really want to know 0.99

00:41:46.440 cause it's gonna you're gonna judge me it's fucking 0.81

00:41:48.720 weird she's like yeah yeah for sure 0.93

00:41:50.640 so I was like I was wondering

00:41:52.220 what the first thing I would do

00:41:54.380 if a clone of myself

00:41:56.280 identical was standing right

00:41:58.740 here in this bathroom in this instant

00:42:00.340 looking exactly like me me

00:42:02.520 Logan in my boxers what was the first

00:42:04.740 thing I'd do to my clone would I greet him

00:42:06.720 Would I daft him up?

00:42:07.480 Would I like challenge him via some sort of mental arithmetic?

00:42:11.440 Aptitude test?

00:42:12.440 Who knows?

00:42:12.960 And my answer was, I came up with my answer was, I'd love to wrestle myself.

00:42:17.460 I wonder how strong I am because I don't know how strong I am.

00:42:20.220 It's cool.

00:42:20.600 You know?

00:42:21.040 So I'd love to wrestle myself.

00:42:22.620 So then I pictured, again, this is my thoughts.

00:42:24.820 I pictured myself wrestling myself in my boxers in my bathroom here in Encino.

00:42:29.820 And at the exact moment she asked me, what are you thinking about?

00:42:32.680 That's what you were thinking about.

00:42:33.720 I was picturing a clone of myself wrestling myself.

00:42:35.960 Who won?

00:42:36.720 I don't know.

00:42:37.780 Did you tell her?

00:42:38.820 Yeah, I did.

00:42:40.100 What did she say?

00:42:40.800 She was confused at me.

00:42:42.480 Really?

00:42:42.920 Which one?

00:42:43.520 You were the clone.

00:42:44.660 The clone was a figment of my imagination.

00:42:49.460 I'd love to ask this question as well.

00:42:53.300 What would you do if your clone was here?

00:42:55.660 The first thing.

00:42:56.560 What would you do?

00:42:57.940 Be strange.

00:42:59.240 Be weird, right?

00:43:00.380 Be weird.

00:43:01.660 I'd immediately find a way to identify me as the original.

00:43:06.860 That would be important.

00:43:07.720 And how would you do that, dude?

00:43:09.200 This is your clone.

00:43:09.920 He knows you.

00:43:10.580 Some sort of marker, some sort of something very quickly so that the other people in the

00:43:13.620 room would be like, oh, I wasn't expecting that.

00:43:16.120 That's the real Mac.

00:43:17.240 It's the Will Smith movie.

00:43:18.820 We saw it from Boston.

00:43:20.000 I Am Legend.

00:43:20.880 No, no, no.

00:43:21.500 The other one.

00:43:22.080 Oh, Suicide Squad.

00:43:23.920 Gemini Man.

00:43:25.980 What would you do?

00:43:26.760 I would just have a conversation with myself.

00:43:28.560 About what?

00:43:29.260 You guys would be talking forever.

00:43:31.080 Forever.

00:43:32.660 About the left and the right.

00:43:34.880 And the divide.

00:43:35.760 It would be the first time where I, because I wrote about this, it would be the first

00:43:39.820 time where I felt like I had someone that I could actually relate to.

00:43:43.120 I hope so.

00:43:44.960 Imagine if you couldn't relate to yourself.

00:43:49.060 But in like a major way.

00:43:51.480 I don't know. 0.99

00:43:52.160 Just like, I don't know, trauma, pain, like that kind of shit. 0.97

00:43:54.700 Like there's a lot of times, there's a lot of times where I feel like, like it's hard 0.95

00:43:58.140 to, like if I want to talk to you guys about something like traumatic from my past, it's

00:44:02.300 hard for me to talk to people that don't

00:44:04.520 like relate to that on like a visceral level

00:44:06.300 what would your clone say he'd be like oh

00:44:08.280 yeah man I totally understand perfect

00:44:10.380 yes man

00:44:11.420 he would just go

00:44:14.440 yes yes anything you

00:44:16.380 say he would understand like he'd be like oh yeah

00:44:18.380 yeah it's true do you think I totally agree

00:44:20.280 man do you think twins feel this way

00:44:22.000 like they feel like they have the clone

00:44:24.140 wow they finish each other's sentences

00:44:26.000 I've always wondered do twins 0.94

00:44:28.200 uh

00:44:30.160 suffer from any like identity

00:44:32.120 problems like it's got to be it's got to be weird to know that there's some like identical twins

00:44:37.160 anyways that there's someone exactly like you and i i don't know like what true identifying

00:44:41.960 factors are in twin in identical twins it's it like how different is their personality

00:44:47.520 there's one like spicy food one like sweet food like yeah it's always like that

00:44:52.420 yeah but if i know them you can tell they're like little little ones yeah little like nuanced

00:44:59.380 differences they probably think their world's different fascinating like i was more yeah i was

00:45:05.260 more curious with what your answer or uh what her answer said about her like being the right person

00:45:12.140 for you to date you know what i'm saying like like i need someone who's not going to judge me

00:45:16.760 well that's what that's what i was saying because remember when i told you about that time that i

00:45:19.900 told uh lana that i was imagining her with corn teeth when she was giving me yes and she and she

00:45:26.020 just and she was just played along with you and giggled because honestly that's that's the majority

00:45:30.500 and this morning when i came out of the bathroom um i was like what if i came out of the bed i was

00:45:37.200 thinking and i said i was like what if i came out of the bathroom and she was having sex with one of

00:45:40.280 my teddy bears and i said that to her i was like i just got the weirdest well doesn't she do that

00:45:44.320 with my sorry with my buttery toast pillow that she bought me and she goes what if you came out 0.79

00:45:48.880 of the bathroom and i was having sex with you and you saw that happen on the couch and i was like 0.90

00:45:54.220 the way your brain works is why this works yeah you know what i'm saying judge free zone not even 0.97

00:45:58.700 no no on the same plane yeah yeah let's fire let's continue the uh experiment yeah don't take

00:46:05.280 it too seriously life yeah that's a big that's a big one it's a big one it's a massive one that's

00:46:10.640 the fun part right i get by about that what did that clown guy say the other day about life patch 0.98

00:46:15.160 fucking adams what you talk to patch adams patch adams the real one yeah clown legend wow do you 0.97

00:46:23.900 know who uh set up the zoom call no but i've john fucking levy dude of course yep he's the best he 0.99

00:46:29.460 sends me emails i've gone to a couple of his influencer dinners and he's like yeah we're 0.84

00:46:33.500 doing a zoom call there's gonna be some great speakers guests like just trying to pass the

00:46:36.540 time saturdays you sit back with your spouse partner husband by yourself drink some wine and

00:46:40.420 watch really great orators and fascinating people talk and i'm jealous chimed in for a little bit

00:46:45.200 and patch adams i don't know who this was this dude starts talking i'm like this guy's great

00:46:49.180 he is

00:46:50.340 so there was a movie

00:46:51.420 made about him right

00:46:52.240 Robin Williams played him

00:46:53.440 amazing

00:46:54.000 unbelievable movie 0.97

00:46:55.200 so this dude's a clown 0.96

00:46:56.500 literally 0.96

00:46:58.160 like

00:46:58.700 he's a famous

00:47:00.140 he's a doctor 0.99

00:47:00.500 he's a famous clown 0.99

00:47:01.480 and a doctor 0.99

00:47:02.500 and what he would do is

00:47:03.640 he was the one who'd

00:47:05.220 dress up as a clown

00:47:06.700 and go around to kids hospitals

00:47:07.900 like just making them happy

00:47:09.060 like

00:47:09.260 kids cancer and yeah

00:47:10.440 check this out

00:47:11.280 Patch Adams is an American physician

00:47:12.940 comedian social activist 0.58

00:47:13.960 clown and author 0.71

00:47:14.680 he founded the 1.00

00:47:15.360 Jesus

00:47:15.900 Gesundheit

00:47:16.940 Gesundheit

00:47:17.760 Gesundheit

00:47:18.500 in 1971

00:47:22.340 each year he organizes volunteers from around

00:47:24.620 the world to travel to various countries where they dress

00:47:26.580 his clowns to bring humor to orphans, patients, and

00:47:28.520 other people. It's amazing. And dude, it's just like 0.95

00:47:30.720 hearing this guy talk

00:47:32.780 was so fascinating because he's

00:47:34.540 just like a good-hearted person. He's

00:47:36.540 like, at any moment in time, I have

00:47:38.240 30 toys on me.

00:47:40.120 Pulled out like a whoopie cushion. Three different whoopie cushions, all

00:47:42.460 different sizes. Sounds like Logan. That would be Logan.

00:47:44.480 No, it was me. I was watching. I was like, this dude is awesome.

00:47:47.120 Because

00:47:47.460 he said he got into being a clown 0.88

00:47:50.300 and 0.57

00:47:51.300 adopting and embracing his humor

00:47:54.600 because he was like the small guy

00:47:56.300 and people would pick on him

00:47:57.940 until he started making them laugh.

00:48:01.560 Laughter is

00:48:02.360 so massive. I got sent

00:48:04.360 a little anecdote

00:48:06.580 today from Team Maverick LP.

00:48:10.080 Where is she?

00:48:11.320 She's in Australia. She's awesome. 1.00

00:48:12.760 She's so cool.

00:48:14.160 She said, you never forget people who make you laugh.

00:48:16.280 and it's so true dude 1.00

00:48:17.080 like

00:48:17.320 people who can bring

00:48:19.080 levity to your life

00:48:20.040 that's the only reason

00:48:20.820 Mike has friends

00:48:21.540 facts

00:48:22.300 that's a big fact

00:48:24.060 they're laughing at him

00:48:26.000 not with him

00:48:26.620 nah

00:48:27.200 at least they're laughing

00:48:29.100 oh they're laughing

00:48:29.740 one thing that goes along

00:48:31.200 with that one

00:48:31.640 is kind of just

00:48:33.000 conversational stuff

00:48:33.800 people don't necessarily

00:48:34.520 always remember

00:48:35.060 exactly what you say

00:48:36.140 but they will remember

00:48:37.080 how you made them feel

00:48:38.100 of course

00:48:38.680 what if you don't feel

00:48:39.440 like me 1.00

00:48:39.820 because you're a sociopath 1.00

00:48:40.520 oh then you don't 0.99

00:48:41.080 remember anything

00:48:41.740 at all

00:48:42.440 maybe that's why 1.00

00:48:43.020 I have a shit 0.99

00:48:43.600 long term memory 1.00

00:48:44.860 you just don't

00:48:45.940 You also got dropped on your head.

00:48:48.000 You ate paint chips as a child.

00:48:50.420 I don't know.

00:48:50.980 I didn't know either of those things.

00:48:52.760 Is there something you want to tell me, Dads?

00:48:55.460 Is yours from Tommy Boy 2?

00:48:57.200 No, he hit his head on a trampoline.

00:48:59.520 Oh, fractured skull?

00:49:01.360 He went to a doctor that told him,

00:49:04.120 dude, this is the reason why you're messed up.

00:49:06.960 Oh, I do remember that.

00:49:08.200 Intense brain trauma.

00:49:08.960 Who would have thought?

00:49:09.840 Nah.

00:49:11.520 Maybe I should start looking at those brain traumas for myself, too.

00:49:14.120 I've had like 20 fractured skulls.

00:49:15.680 You should go see them.

00:49:15.940 I saw Miley Cyrus on an Instagram chat with him.

00:49:21.240 With who?

00:49:22.280 I did see that, actually.

00:49:23.920 Yeah.

00:49:24.720 Dr. Almond.

00:49:26.180 Dr. Almond?

00:49:27.180 Yo, so what happened here, Mike?

00:49:29.520 You sent me these?

00:49:31.020 Oh, yeah, the UFOs.

00:49:31.960 There's some sort of UFO?

00:49:33.360 There's like a whole thing going on right now.

00:49:34.920 I guess the Pentagon released some footage of...

00:49:38.340 They're calling them unidentified aerial phenomena now.

00:49:41.980 Not even UFOs. 1.00

00:49:42.940 U-A-P's. 0.78

00:49:44.340 Unidentified Aerial Phenetic

00:49:46.320 These are old

00:49:47.320 So I've seen these too

00:49:49.140 So what's the new one Mike

00:49:50.460 Is it this one

00:49:51.060 I don't know

00:49:51.660 It's all the rave right now

00:49:52.700 New footage

00:49:53.540 You are first to respond

00:49:54.620 Oh

00:49:54.900 The first responders ad

00:49:56.160 I'm actually okay with this

00:49:57.080 Before your own

00:49:58.100 And in an emergency

00:49:59.740 You need a network

00:50:01.140 Thank you first responders

00:50:01.560 Oh no it's a network 0.99

00:50:02.680 Ah shit 1.00

00:50:03.380 Way to tug our heartstrings 1.00

00:50:05.740 Right

00:50:06.000 And then two time us

00:50:07.200 Yeah basically

00:50:08.240 Shout out first responders

00:50:09.520 Okay

00:50:09.860 Wait I've seen this

00:50:10.780 Yeah the footage has been circulating

00:50:12.200 according to the U.S. Navy

00:50:15.260 the objects in these videos are unidentified aerial

00:50:17.320 phenomena. UAPs is the word now

00:50:19.260 for UFO

00:50:19.740 so apparently they change direction

00:50:22.560 extremely fast. Phenomenon means

00:50:25.040 they happen more than once

00:50:27.260 right? Yeah yeah so there have been a number of recent

00:50:29.100 reports of unauthorized or unidentified

00:50:31.100 craft. Wendy Class of a video from

00:50:33.080 2004 off the east coast of southern

00:50:35.000 California caught this

00:50:36.220 so which one of these

00:50:41.400 is new mike no they're not new they've been they've been why are they talking about it in

00:50:45.220 the news right now i'd answer if you guys would just let me uh the footage has been circulating

00:50:49.640 in the public domain for uh after unauthorized releases in 2007 and 2017 but then after thorough

00:50:55.840 review the department has determined that the authorized release of these unclassified videos

00:50:59.260 does not reveal any sensitive capabilities or systems and so basically like the pentagon has 0.97

00:51:05.060 said these are real videos and so like as we know the internet's full of shit constantly and so 0.86

00:51:09.620 Well, you may see a bunch of UFO videos. 0.99

00:51:11.580 Many of them may be complete bullshit and fake and planes, whatever. 0.96

00:51:15.540 Luis Elizondo, the former head of the classified program. 0.74

00:51:19.900 These aircraft, we'll call them aircraft, are displaying characteristics that are not currently within the U.S. inventory, nor in any foreign inventory that we are aware of.

00:51:30.720 Lines up perfectly with Austin Ninja.

00:51:33.260 Yeah, Ninja saw some.

00:51:34.800 I think he may have seen the Space Fleet

00:51:38.560 or the Starlink, Elon Musk's thing.

00:51:42.340 What he described sounded kind of like that.

00:51:44.060 It wasn't like what we saw.

00:51:45.240 Ours was a bit too spaced out.

00:51:46.640 It didn't, I don't know.

00:51:48.220 Maybe, though.

00:51:49.300 I'm still concerned with the ones

00:51:50.700 that were going the opposite direction

00:51:51.980 of the flight path.

00:51:53.880 Here's the point. 0.99

00:51:54.540 We're not alone, and we're fucked. 1.00

00:51:56.460 We're so fucked. 1.00

00:51:58.220 I think if aliens are going to come here, 1.00

00:52:00.040 they're going to bring peace.

00:52:01.400 If you made it that far as a civilization

00:52:03.080 and you could travel across planets,

00:52:05.560 I think you're coming in peace.

00:52:06.580 It's optimistic.

00:52:07.520 I hope so.

00:52:09.020 I just think we are so far behind

00:52:11.500 on the evolutionary chart.

00:52:12.820 Dude, even look back 100 years.

00:52:14.700 The world was not identifiable as it is today.

00:52:17.880 Not identifiable.

00:52:18.900 If you told people some of the inventions

00:52:20.080 that we would have today

00:52:20.920 and this infinity box

00:52:22.440 and you describe this to someone in the 1920s,

00:52:24.800 they wouldn't believe you.

00:52:25.500 I watched a video last night.

00:52:27.780 1962, this took place.

00:52:29.700 A guy was asking everyone,

00:52:31.340 just street kind of interview,

00:52:32.540 man on the street

00:52:33.160 do you think there's life

00:52:35.100 on other planets

00:52:35.760 guess what these people said

00:52:38.280 the majority of them

00:52:39.280 there's other planets

00:52:40.040 I'm generalizing

00:52:40.660 no

00:52:40.880 pretty much everyone answered

00:52:44.100 I don't know

00:52:45.020 I don't know

00:52:46.600 I don't know

00:52:46.960 he goes

00:52:47.260 well what do you think

00:52:47.820 he goes

00:52:48.140 haven't thought about it 1.00

00:52:50.420 didn't cross their fucking mind 1.00

00:52:52.580 that they 0.99

00:52:53.120 might not be the only ones

00:52:54.580 in the universe

00:52:55.000 and it was fascinating

00:52:55.960 how much

00:52:56.400 how much they did

00:52:57.960 they just didn't care

00:52:59.200 did not pique their curiosity

00:53:00.940 curiosity at all

00:53:02.160 Do you think it's different now?

00:53:04.080 What year is this? 1962.

00:53:06.080 Do you think it's different now? I think so.

00:53:07.900 Because the evidence proving

00:53:10.240 yes or no to that question is still as

00:53:12.260 infantile as it was in 62. We have no

00:53:14.200 reason to believe that life does or does not exist outside

00:53:16.320 of 62. What about the UFO videos that we just

00:53:18.400 showed? No, no, no, I get it. It means nothing.

00:53:20.280 It doesn't mean it means nothing.

00:53:22.380 I don't think there was an alien show

00:53:24.100 in 1962. No, but what I'm saying is this.

00:53:26.220 I don't think there ever was a show.

00:53:27.880 Once again, their thought process

00:53:30.400 on it is

00:53:31.500 sound when you think about it don't know doesn't affect me is is is close to the serenity prayer 0.73

00:53:39.060 it's like if i can't like if i can't do anything about it why the fuck do i care yeah argue that

00:53:43.640 but here's what i'm saying is like 1962 yeah were there shows or was there media yeah i mean

00:53:49.820 when was hg wells war of the worlds i guess one of the most important one of the most

00:53:54.260 Yeah, so it's prior to 60.

00:53:55.900 Not to me.

00:53:57.340 Tell me, do you think there is life on other planets?

00:54:00.860 Well, I'm not quite sure, but I suppose there would be.

00:54:03.020 See, there would be.

00:54:04.340 Definitely.

00:54:04.840 How do you see this life?

00:54:05.400 Definitely.

00:54:06.380 I've seen a flying saucer.

00:54:08.000 You've seen one?

00:54:08.680 Yes, definitely. 0.99

00:54:09.780 That's ridiculous. 0.90

00:54:10.840 When was that? 0.82

00:54:12.100 Do you think there's life on other planets?

00:54:15.700 Oh, well, I wouldn't like to even discuss that.

00:54:19.460 Why not?

00:54:20.020 It's a debatable point, I suppose.

00:54:21.680 What do you think yourself?

00:54:22.360 You must have an opinion here.

00:54:24.060 Well, definitely not.

00:54:27.340 Nothing?

00:54:28.020 That guy's just covering himself.

00:54:29.340 Yeah, he's just trying to make sure people don't think he's loony.

00:54:31.400 Also, I wish we still talk like this.

00:54:32.820 I was just going to say, their accents are incredible.

00:54:35.580 And coming in fourth place for the horse race.

00:54:37.820 Like, I missed that kind.

00:54:39.140 I believe not.

00:54:40.120 War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells, which is probably one of the most important sci-fi pieces of fiction ever made,

00:54:46.300 was written between 1895 and 1897.

00:54:51.620 Crazy.

00:54:52.020 And then obviously came out on the radio and, and that was the one that went, put people

00:54:56.040 in a frenzy, right?

00:54:56.860 Like everybody was, they thought it was real because he was reading without saying that

00:55:00.740 it was fake.

00:55:01.820 He was reading without saying it was fiction and everybody thought that we were being attacked

00:55:04.940 by Martians. 1.00

00:55:05.700 Correct.

00:55:06.160 And I forget what, like when he read the commercials, it was as if it was just like a radio reporter

00:55:11.160 as the show.

00:55:12.760 This Justin, aliens are taking over the planet.

00:55:14.820 Like it was the real deal.

00:55:16.460 And so people started freaking out, but, but I don't know that I think nowadays because

00:55:22.000 Because of the difference between how people speak between now and then, the answers would be much more, like, elongated, but we'd still be saying the same thing.

00:55:31.900 Like, that guy said, I won't talk about this.

00:55:33.820 Now you would say, well, we've seen these flying saucers and we have evidence, but there's no evidence.

00:55:37.960 There's no evidence that anything exists outside this planet, and there's no evidence that anything doesn't exist outside this planet.

00:55:43.520 Are you ready for this?

00:55:44.980 Of course.

00:55:45.560 That you know of?

00:55:47.480 Wait, hold on.

00:55:48.420 That's called evidence.

00:55:49.900 If I didn't know of it, it wouldn't be called evidence.

00:55:51.540 No, you, Mike Malak.

00:55:52.880 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:55:53.260 Living here in Encino.

00:55:54.540 Right, right.

00:55:55.200 But still, I can only answer based on the evidence that I have.

00:55:58.900 So if a news camera asked me a question, I would say...

00:56:02.060 Mike, do you think there's life on other planets?

00:56:04.700 I think the only way to get to the bottom of this is to really...

00:56:08.140 Build the spaceship?

00:56:09.140 I'll do that, but I was going to say maybe shoot a little documentary about it.

00:56:11.840 See what we can find.

00:56:13.420 Something tells me we wouldn't find Jack Shearman.

00:56:15.940 Oh, we found a lot about the planet Earth.

00:56:17.700 people say that

00:56:21.040 they went to the moon

00:56:21.840 imagine every time

00:56:22.980 you ask

00:56:23.360 somebody else

00:56:24.580 they went to the moon

00:56:25.300 and boom 0.74

00:56:26.380 right there

00:56:26.780 they saw the people

00:56:27.480 and they were like

00:56:27.920 we gotta leave

00:56:28.780 that's what Greer said

00:56:29.700 Greer said that

00:56:30.880 what astronaut was it

00:56:32.940 who were the astronauts

00:56:34.540 Neil Armstrong

00:56:35.720 Armstrong

00:56:35.960 the other one

00:56:37.060 Scotty Piven

00:56:38.060 no

00:56:38.340 Buzz Aldrin

00:56:39.080 Buzz

00:56:39.580 Buzz

00:56:40.080 Buzz

00:56:40.720 Buzz's

00:56:42.440 Dr. Greer said

00:56:44.060 Buzz's wife said

00:56:45.380 that Buzz told her

00:56:46.900 that when he landed

00:56:48.160 there was a

00:56:48.720 there was a

00:56:49.400 fleet of spacecraft

00:56:51.220 just watching him

00:56:52.200 can you imagine

00:56:53.160 you're on another

00:56:53.760 you're on the moon

00:56:54.940 you go to step off the moon 1.00

00:56:56.380 and there's just homies 1.00

00:56:57.380 there watching you

00:56:58.000 like yo what's good

00:56:58.580 I'd be like this

00:57:00.140 what's popping

00:57:04.300 why have 0.95

00:57:05.340 brand new whip 0.96

00:57:05.800 just

00:57:06.000 brand new ship

00:57:07.260 just

00:57:07.480 why haven't

00:57:07.840 why haven't we been back

00:57:08.880 because they

00:57:10.340 they said we've seen

00:57:11.180 we've seen everything

00:57:11.900 let's not spend any more money on it

00:57:13.220 seen everything

00:57:13.920 we went there

00:57:14.320 on the moon

00:57:14.740 saw one step

00:57:15.820 Jeff it's made of cottage

00:57:16.740 sheets this is neither here nor there yes the point is i do yes sports have come to a screeching

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00:58:05.020 I saw Chris D'Elia do an ad read.

00:58:07.980 Exactly like ours.

00:58:09.140 Really?

00:58:09.580 Exactly.

00:58:10.380 Yeah. 1.00

00:58:11.460 Just a couple dudes trying to, you know, make some money.

00:58:14.320 reading other people's things.

00:58:16.080 How do you bet on war?

00:58:19.540 So you're trying to monetize

00:58:20.880 conflict.

00:58:23.560 That's awesome.

00:58:24.660 That Nick Cage movie is really good.

00:58:27.120 Y'all, there's some 0.99

00:58:28.580 Zoom competitors.

00:58:30.440 You know Zoom, obviously.

00:58:32.420 In December, Zoom had just 10 million

00:58:34.820 users. The company said last week

00:58:36.680 that it recently surpassed 300 million.

00:58:39.280 Its stock price has jumped 130%

00:58:41.100 this year and the company is valued at

00:58:42.340 $47 billion. 1.00

00:58:44.320 Holy shit. 1.00

00:58:45.300 More than Slack and Pinterest. 0.99

00:58:47.200 How many paid subscribers?

00:58:49.340 You subscribe to Zoom?

00:58:50.760 Yeah.

00:58:51.280 Will you have to pay to be unlimited?

00:58:52.680 Upgraded service, yeah.

00:58:53.680 Wow.

00:58:53.860 Otherwise, you can only get a 40-minute Zoom call.

00:58:56.160 So check us out.

00:58:56.740 On Friday, Facebook said it was crashing the meeting.

00:58:58.860 Its new messenger room service will let users...

00:59:01.160 Video conference with 50 people at a time.

00:59:03.200 Verizon recently bought BlueJeans, a Zoom competitor, for less than $500 million.

00:59:07.580 Google's been beefing up Meet.

00:59:09.260 It's called Meet.

00:59:10.340 Its own video call service.

00:59:12.160 and this is funny actually

00:59:14.460 I think it's the new norm

00:59:15.860 The Times reported on an extremely

00:59:18.860 cringy moment when Google's chief business

00:59:20.840 officer held a meeting with

00:59:22.480 his meet video

00:59:24.720 call. Thousands of employees

00:59:26.920 were on it and his son burst

00:59:28.840 into the background to ask whether he was using

00:59:30.700 Zoom to say how much

00:59:32.860 he liked it

00:59:33.540 Did you see that

00:59:36.240 the other Zoom company just got invested

00:59:38.780 a whole bunch of money and they had to call like a

00:59:40.380 stop on the stock market

00:59:42.480 because people were

00:59:43.300 buying the wrong Zoom.

00:59:44.840 Oh, really?

00:59:46.100 You're a stock guy now.

00:59:47.100 You should look into this.

00:59:48.320 Yeah, but so far,

00:59:48.960 I'm down,

00:59:49.580 so I'm probably

00:59:50.220 not going to do it anymore.

00:59:52.140 Not as bad as

00:59:52.960 Davey Day Trader.

00:59:54.300 Davey Day Trader

00:59:55.100 is the worst.

00:59:55.540 Davey Day Trader 1.00

00:59:55.760 is always getting fucked. 0.99

00:59:56.580 He's down over a million. 0.99

00:59:57.800 I think he just does

00:59:58.620 the down a million

00:59:59.440 because it's funnier.

01:00:00.540 Why does he always

01:00:01.200 down a million? 1.00

01:00:02.500 Who the fuck 1.00

01:00:02.820 is Davey Day Trader? 1.00

01:00:03.620 Poor Noir.

01:00:04.200 Poor Noir.

01:00:05.460 That's another one

01:00:06.180 of his content series.

01:00:07.180 He day trades?

01:00:08.360 Yeah, that's great.

01:00:08.940 Every day.

01:00:09.520 Oh, go down, 0.99

01:00:10.160 go up go up like oh this dude's a fucking who hundreds of thousands hundreds of thousands 0.99

01:00:16.400 of dollars like massive fucking moves like he'll bet on one stock and he'll watch it be like come 1.00

01:00:20.640 on nike come on nike don't you go back down you fucker but he's watching like seconds and minutes 0.99

01:00:27.000 of movement yeah like not our stock daydream logan where we're like it's doesn't move this is like 1.00

01:00:33.280 yeah he's betting on volatility bro small kind of kind of touching on what we talked about earlier

01:00:38.000 too like i think part of the reason portnoy is a legend and is as great as he is because he's 0.98

01:00:42.760 fucked up bro he's not a normal human he's not his brain doesn't work like normally like the 0.95

01:00:48.220 average human being he's something today he's done extremely right or extremely wrong in his 0.99

01:00:52.760 review was lunchables pizza box oh he did he did lunchables today lunchables today well because

01:00:58.340 he's done he's done he's done bagel bites how do you review him i don't even see i just laughed

01:01:03.800 and then moved on.

01:01:04.580 You didn't even see

01:01:05.160 what the rating was.

01:01:06.200 All I ate in high school.

01:01:07.900 Lunchable?

01:01:08.340 Lunchable pizzas.

01:01:09.500 Wow.

01:01:10.040 The best.

01:01:10.640 I remember those.

01:01:11.260 My best friend had them

01:01:12.140 at home at his house

01:01:12.960 and we'd go over there

01:01:14.020 and definitely be stoned

01:01:15.380 and be like,

01:01:15.720 all right,

01:01:16.140 lunchable pizza.

01:01:16.840 Did you pack your lunch

01:01:17.800 or buy your lunch?

01:01:18.500 My dad packed my lunch.

01:01:20.460 Did you, Mac?

01:01:22.000 Mix.

01:01:23.320 Mix it too.

01:01:24.040 Parents.

01:01:24.640 How's Twitter, by the way?

01:01:25.360 My mom ate it.

01:01:26.180 Sorry.

01:01:26.560 How's Twitter?

01:01:27.060 I want to know how it is.

01:01:28.100 It's good.

01:01:28.740 I put out a prelude.

01:01:29.700 What about your email?

01:01:30.340 Everything good?

01:01:32.320 Well, I'm more on.

01:01:33.200 I thought it was all podcast mode.

01:01:33.980 To Tokyo, Mike.

01:01:35.340 My mom made my lunches.

01:01:37.400 If it's not...

01:01:38.040 Banana bread in your lunches?

01:01:40.080 But Mike, did you trade sometimes?

01:01:41.740 Because I traded. 1.00

01:01:42.420 Oh, you barter and shit? 1.00

01:01:42.980 This podcast is a pinball machine today. 1.00

01:01:47.100 Bro, read this sign, dude.

01:01:48.160 What do you expect, bro? 1.00

01:01:49.240 We're fucking idiots. 1.00

01:01:49.740 I can't even answer the right question. 1.00

01:01:51.260 No, no, no, no.

01:01:51.840 The topics are great.

01:01:52.700 Can't answer questions because he asked me, then you asked me.

01:01:54.780 Yo, because I didn't know I was the minority that I bought lunch every day.

01:01:57.740 I bought lunch.

01:01:58.700 Oh, yeah.

01:01:59.160 My parents would never pack me lunch.

01:02:01.340 I don't know why.

01:02:02.180 I wonder...

01:02:02.600 The one time I was forced to, like on a field trip, I'd bring Lunchables pizza.

01:02:06.180 That's why I bring this up.

01:02:07.040 And I know how unhealthy cafeteria lunches are. 1.00

01:02:11.360 Like, what the fuck? 1.00

01:02:13.120 But you would also eat a chicken patty every day. 1.00

01:02:14.780 Every day.

01:02:15.440 Why?

01:02:16.020 And you'd cover it in ketchup.

01:02:17.620 It was disgusting.

01:02:18.400 My dad told me when I was young I was going to turn into a ketchup packet because I ate

01:02:21.300 so much ketchup.

01:02:22.700 Why do you think they did that?

01:02:24.300 Was it easier not to think about it and just give you like six bucks, four bucks, whatever

01:02:28.160 it was?

01:02:28.520 I do not know.

01:02:30.120 How much was the school?

01:02:30.900 Let me call my mom right now, actually.

01:02:32.600 And I feel like Greg Paul would be like, I feel like Greg Paul would be like, I'm making

01:02:39.780 it because I'm going to save you $2.

01:02:42.280 You would think, right?

01:02:43.260 I'm going to give you one slice of ham on that Swiss and a ham.

01:02:46.320 Yeah.

01:02:47.500 I mean, $2 every day for what?

01:02:49.800 180 days?

01:02:51.100 However many days of school year?

01:02:52.060 Yeah, yeah.

01:02:53.200 It's not that much.

01:02:54.380 I like this.

01:02:55.300 Hey, Ma, you're on impulsive right now.

01:02:57.660 Oh, that's not a good plan.

01:03:00.560 It's not a plan, Pam.

01:03:02.100 you're just on it it's just a sound mom one thing i don't like is when i tell people something and

01:03:09.820 they say they look bad when they look great you're beautiful mom what are you talking about

01:03:13.320 okay so check us out here's my question okay why did you not pack a lunch for me at school

01:03:19.700 why did i buy lunch every day um well there's a lot of reasons for that let's hear it number one

01:03:26.860 because when you were going back and forth

01:03:29.120 between the two households

01:03:30.420 that would be very difficult

01:03:33.440 to, you know, your dad packs lunch

01:03:35.360 and I pack lunch

01:03:36.460 and we never gave you enough food.

01:03:39.840 Like you guys

01:03:41.460 always wanted more food.

01:03:44.360 So

01:03:44.780 it was easier to give you money

01:03:46.940 and the lunches were pretty good to go through

01:03:49.360 and then get what you wanted

01:03:50.640 and you spent tons of, like you'd go back

01:03:53.180 and forth and back and forth

01:03:54.840 and get more food.

01:03:55.800 I'd always end with a cookie every day.

01:03:57.740 I'd eat my main lunch.

01:03:58.460 I'd go back and get that 50 cent cookie.

01:03:59.940 It's amazing.

01:04:00.560 Yeah, so I couldn't pack you enough food.

01:04:03.800 Because I did that for a little while, which you might not remember, but I did.

01:04:07.900 And you just, it wasn't enough.

01:04:10.100 When you got to be older, you needed more and more and more food.

01:04:13.440 And then when you were in wrestling, you had to eat a certain way too.

01:04:18.360 So, you know, there was just no way to do that.

01:04:21.200 Why growing up were we not focused on nutrition?

01:04:29.020 Like, why did it take me to my first year of college to learn what an avocado was?

01:04:36.140 Oh, Logan, you are so off.

01:04:39.280 Your stepfather is the best cook in the world and always cooked from fresh ingredients.

01:04:45.340 I'm talking about nutrition, Ma.

01:04:47.940 Nutrition.

01:04:48.540 You just didn't eat it.

01:04:51.200 We used avocado all the time.

01:04:53.880 You just didn't eat it.

01:04:54.940 Jake did.

01:04:55.240 It is weird how your taste buds change when you grow up.

01:04:57.380 It's true.

01:04:57.820 I hated coffee growing up.

01:04:58.860 I'm going to smell it and I drink it every day.

01:05:01.020 You were very picky.

01:05:02.460 You wanted steak, meat, potatoes.

01:05:06.740 You didn't even really like the salad.

01:05:08.800 Jake loved the salad.

01:05:09.860 Wait, I was picky?

01:05:12.640 Not picky, but you didn't like to try different things.

01:05:16.220 You didn't like to step up.

01:05:17.340 You're not telling me what I want to hear.

01:05:18.620 let me call you later

01:05:21.680 I was just curious

01:05:22.560 because it came up

01:05:23.100 in conversation

01:05:23.700 you did learn about

01:05:26.080 nutrition Logan

01:05:26.900 you just didn't pay attention

01:05:28.160 that makes more sense

01:05:30.760 that's my final answer

01:05:32.840 alright

01:05:33.260 thank you Ma

01:05:33.780 I love you

01:05:34.700 love you

01:05:35.260 bye

01:05:35.620 I bet it was probably

01:05:38.420 pretty hard to like

01:05:39.180 pack lunch for you

01:05:40.100 when you were cutting weight

01:05:40.920 you know

01:05:41.320 a cup of air

01:05:42.240 do you know

01:05:43.560 what I would eat

01:05:44.160 when I was cutting weight

01:05:44.980 here's my rule

01:05:45.980 less than 700

01:05:47.720 healthy calories a day i'd always start off with that little pack of trail mix and then uh for

01:05:54.180 lunch i'd eat like a like a carrot and then the worst part was having to work out when you have

01:05:59.320 no energy like my my muscles my body's also built different my body's not built for cutting weight

01:06:04.860 that's why i think when i went vegan my body just started eating itself like literally just

01:06:08.440 consuming its own muscles and uh yeah it was it was it was horrifying i i don't advise cutting

01:06:15.640 weight what's the most weight you've got 20 pounds 25 pounds and if you had to cut weight now how

01:06:21.000 much would you say is like cool and healthy and you would do i could get down to like if someone

01:06:26.600 said hey i could get down to 185 healthily 180 i i'm collapsing with each step wow i did it for

01:06:33.820 the thinning i remember that do you remember do you remember the the pictures on i was stoked

01:06:36.940 because they told me i have a uh a shirtless scene and i wanted to get yoked and so i did my

01:06:43.100 my wrestling

01:06:43.640 yeah

01:06:44.740 yeah

01:06:45.260 I did my wrestling

01:06:46.100 cut routine

01:06:46.740 and

01:06:47.760 oh there's this picture

01:06:49.400 of quality

01:06:49.820 this is horrible

01:06:50.500 120p

01:06:51.300 but yeah

01:06:52.140 Jesus

01:06:52.560 yeah so I was yoked

01:06:53.820 but also I was

01:06:54.760 I was jumping rope

01:06:55.900 in this scene

01:06:56.820 and doing pushups

01:06:58.240 doing the workouts

01:06:58.940 couldn't jump rope

01:06:59.840 for more than 15 seconds

01:07:00.660 at a time

01:07:01.120 was also so hangry

01:07:03.240 yelling at me

01:07:04.520 I remember a call

01:07:06.040 like

01:07:06.420 specifically a call

01:07:08.020 where it was like 1.00

01:07:08.540 he was such a dick 1.00

01:07:10.580 and it was like 1.00

01:07:11.400 I told the agents

01:07:12.240 it was like

01:07:12.680 He just hasn't eaten anything in a week.

01:07:16.240 I hate that.

01:07:17.180 I hate when you're hangry and you know why you're hangry.

01:07:19.660 That was as much he was doing.

01:07:21.420 So yeah, I just did a three-day juice cleanse before it.

01:07:24.100 So no food.

01:07:25.140 Remember it.

01:07:25.720 And still working out and just like.

01:07:27.420 We should do one of those.

01:07:29.120 I do it.

01:07:29.740 I actually did three days the first of the month.

01:07:33.820 Only water.

01:07:35.320 Just water cleanse?

01:07:36.280 Just water.

01:07:37.060 And I'm doing it again.

01:07:37.900 And?

01:07:38.820 I feel great.

01:07:39.620 I recognize that your stomach talks to your brain and like says, oh, I'm hungry, but you're really not hungry.

01:07:45.640 So you take back the control and like your thoughts are much clearer.

01:07:49.000 I'll do it.

01:07:49.520 You know what I think about sometimes?

01:07:50.320 It's pretty cool.

01:07:50.760 That dude we had on Stefan Arneo.

01:07:52.740 He said he did a, what, a 40-day water fast and it's what killed his cancer.

01:07:57.000 And so I often think about if I'm ever in like a Jurassic, undesirable health situation, I'll just do a water cleanse.

01:08:03.440 Otherwise, I'd probably just keep it.

01:08:04.500 I put lemon in it.

01:08:05.300 So maybe that lemon and those extra, like, whatever's in the lemon probably help get through. 0.93

01:08:11.780 Speaking of lemons, how's your butthole? 0.97

01:08:16.540 You got a lemon in your butthole? 0.99

01:08:19.300 Oh, because you drank the lemon juice? 0.99

01:08:21.760 No, we did a challenge, that hot chip challenge.

01:08:25.200 Oh, my God.

01:08:26.120 It doesn't really have anything to do with lemons other than the fact that I accidentally drank 10 shots of lemon juice because I couldn't get the ball in the hole.

01:08:32.560 and I think it mixed with

01:08:34.680 the hot chip afterwards.

01:08:36.360 That was the worst. Are you okay?

01:08:38.140 Yeah, I mean, my stomach has been 1.00

01:08:40.260 fucked, dude. I was on the toilet last night 1.00

01:08:42.340 and it felt like there was lava coming out of my

01:08:44.400 bowl. So you didn't go out the other

01:08:46.500 side? You didn't come out your mouth? No, I didn't puke.

01:08:48.160 Yeah, my

01:08:48.740 sphincter

01:08:52.820 has never been affected by the hot chip.

01:08:55.200 But if you guys saw

01:08:56.500 the vlog, we should definitely

01:08:58.560 talk about this. I fucking 0.99

01:09:00.540 love you, Mac. I fucking love 0.99

01:09:02.720 you. Oh my God, I love you so much. 0.99

01:09:05.380 Mac saved my life.

01:09:06.900 This was all

01:09:08.380 coming full circle. Logan saved my life in Las Vegas,

01:09:10.940 so I had to step up.

01:09:12.780 So check us out. Mac took this video

01:09:14.740 because I told him to.

01:09:16.960 We'll get into that. But yeah, this was on the vlog

01:09:18.740 if you haven't seen this yet, but this was

01:09:20.240 absolutely 100% real.

01:09:21.660 I feel like I'm going to die.

01:09:23.180 You're going to be alright.

01:09:24.820 You promise? Yes.

01:09:27.580 My insides

01:09:29.440 are sweating my stomach is doing triple axles bro i wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy 0.98

01:09:35.420 this is ridiculous bro he covered you with the blankets logan walks in the house and he looks 0.96

01:09:42.540 at me he's super reminiscent of the uh day in denver i was thinking the same thing oh he called 0.93

01:09:47.200 you and uh so he walks in the house looks at me he's like mac i'm not all right i'm like got it

01:09:53.420 as soon as i heard the tone i knew you were in for a ride i was about to say i i i hate uttering 0.90

01:09:57.680 the words i'm not all right because i don't utter it unless i'm really fucking not all right and i 0.80

01:10:01.640 and i wasn't and i i kind of like crunched over to the bathroom and uh my i don't i can't even 0.68

01:10:08.500 describe it's almost like a fireball was burning the inner lining of my stomach and i could hear

01:10:13.760 it gurgling it go up here tighten my chest i couldn't breathe for a little bit i and i hated

01:10:18.520 that i had to say this but after like 15 minutes of like some of the most agonizing pain i've had

01:10:23.880 in my life i was like bro we might need to go to the er like like straight up er i i thought i was

01:10:29.320 gonna die i literally thought i was gonna die and that's why i wasn't letting them film until i was

01:10:33.520 like kind of okay it was right after you said that you needed to call an ambulance i was like yo you

01:10:37.640 just gotta throw up get that poison out of your stomach that thing is horrible i definitely don't

01:10:41.940 recommend that chip to anyone no that was bad and then mike ran in he's like yo you gotta get the

01:10:46.540 camera dave's in the same position oh yeah because i wanted dave to film but dave was puking too

01:10:51.920 So they were both puking

01:10:53.220 And I was like 0.99

01:10:53.740 Oh shit 0.99

01:10:54.240 So should I get the camera 1.00

01:10:55.200 Cause he's always said

01:10:56.220 But Dave tried the chip or no

01:10:57.280 Dave ate the chip

01:10:58.220 Dave ate the chip

01:10:58.780 And I feel so bad

01:11:00.220 Because

01:11:00.560 What about what's her name 0.99

01:11:01.400 It didn't make the cut 0.79

01:11:02.940 There was no

01:11:03.800 There was no like

01:11:04.440 There was Dave eating the chip

01:11:06.260 But there was no like

01:11:07.280 Dave special 1.00

01:11:08.060 And I was like fuck 0.99

01:11:08.920 But I noticed it 1.00

01:11:10.980 This morning

01:11:11.520 When I rewatched 0.99

01:11:12.100 I was like damn 0.99

01:11:12.700 What's her name 0.99

01:11:13.140 Summer

01:11:13.440 She was like 1.00

01:11:14.580 She cheated 1.00

01:11:15.500 I'm convinced she cheated

01:11:16.660 There's comments 0.99

01:11:17.560 She may have spit it back

01:11:18.740 In the milk 0.99

01:11:19.220 Like 0.95

01:11:20.200 there's a spot where she puts up through her mouth

01:11:23.360 but maybe not, I don't know

01:11:25.140 I'm sorry 0.99

01:11:25.840 but anyways, it's just fucking dumb, I thought I was gonna die 0.97

01:11:28.920 this is officially, like in my mind anyways 0.99

01:11:30.860 one of the closest I've been to death

01:11:33.540 on God

01:11:34.860 this will affect the way I create content

01:11:37.160 in the future

01:11:37.620 that's how tormenting this was for me

01:11:40.800 meaning you won't do that again

01:11:42.280 that or anything like it, anything

01:11:44.320 I won't go through that again

01:11:45.780 it looks miserable

01:11:47.660 the first time wasn't like that

01:11:49.500 it was that 15 minutes of agonizing pain you drink your milk you're good an hour passed

01:11:55.020 definitely and i'm keeled over throwing up in my bathroom while summer ray and rice gum are

01:12:01.560 just playing basketball in my house but then what happened after that after you recovered 0.91

01:12:05.400 i got up i raised my arm in there i said i fucking got this but it's only because of you 0.96

01:12:13.000 bro the things you were saying to me bro max like you're gonna survive you gotta fight you 0.96

01:12:18.420 gotta fight you could do this i was like i was like fight i can't do this he goes he goes he

01:12:23.340 goes stick your finger as far down your throat as you can i was like bet oh that hurt i discovered

01:12:29.900 i have a gag reflex but i don't throw up i'm one of those people tonsils is that why i think the 0.69

01:12:35.600 tonsils bro bro i'm i'm i'm tickling my intestines you have no time nothing's coming out nothing's

01:12:41.480 coming out yeah but then it happened you got over it and you walked outside it was a sunny sunday

01:12:46.460 We had a great time

01:12:47.260 But it affected me

01:12:48.280 I was moving different

01:12:49.400 Also

01:12:49.860 I'm not gonna say it

01:12:52.240 What was it?

01:12:52.720 I was high

01:12:53.420 Yesterday

01:12:55.220 During

01:12:55.580 I'd smoked right before it

01:12:57.660 Oh that's

01:12:58.100 Definitely threw you through

01:12:59.260 So maybe I'm a little paranoid

01:13:01.440 Yeah quickly

01:13:02.040 To like ramp up the anxiety

01:13:03.340 Of dying from a flaming hot Cheeto

01:13:04.960 In your stomach 0.96

01:13:05.500 I like to feel the

01:13:06.220 Smoking is my like

01:13:07.880 Conscience

01:13:08.600 That like

01:13:09.460 You don't really check in with

01:13:11.000 But you smoke

01:13:11.680 And all of a sudden

01:13:12.240 It's like 1.00

01:13:12.580 Fuck 1.00

01:13:13.660 I didn't want to think about that 1.00

01:13:14.680 why i have to deal with that right now like but damn it but then like also being high is just 0.79

01:13:20.420 disregarding i was gonna say i'm i'm that i'm that way but i rarely do it because i know that 0.99

01:13:24.940 there's a possibility of a phone call or some sort of business and i'm like fuck i really need 0.58

01:13:29.000 to take this or i need to deal with it and i'm like every i can't do this yeah every ounce of 0.94

01:13:32.920 effectiveness i have as a human is gone when i'm when i'm uh i can't turn into mashed potatoes

01:13:37.740 no i can't do it which is why i don't usually smoke in the day uh you know i like to be on a

01:13:43.220 raft in a pool or like in a a laser away from uh this looks horrible what time of the day was it

01:13:51.500 because it looks 4 p.m it looks dark 4 p.m it looks very dark middle of the day i don't mess 0.95

01:13:56.380 up i go i go i am not gonna fucking die on a sunday at 4 p.m because of a hot chip 0.94

01:14:01.380 dude you know little zan got rushed to the hospital for uh eating hot cheetos do y'all 0.95

01:14:06.300 remember that yeah rushed to the hospital and i remember when it came out we were like this 0.99

01:14:10.340 ridiculous the fuck he ate too many hot cheetos i was on the floor i was like this is what that 0.99

01:14:14.580 motherfucker was going through this is this is horrifying flaming hot one chip he ate a bag of 1.00

01:14:20.100 hot cheetos that we normally eat all the time if you know nope if you eat extra hot cheetos 1.00

01:14:24.820 yo yo this shit is deadly it's horrifying it's our bag by yourself fda allow it i mean you can 0.99

01:14:33.380 overdose on anything dude like even water yeah but it's like why do we do that to our 0.99

01:14:38.600 people like i mean doesn't the fda protect us and say hey this is something we shouldn't some of us

01:14:44.520 it's not that the fda can't moderate the amount of something that you do you know what i'm saying

01:14:48.460 it's not say this is bad for humans whoa can't do it well yeah but one bag might not be bad for

01:14:53.560 humans but when you ingest a certain amount like like you had one chip well no but that was that

01:14:58.240 was different these are not these are not flaming hot cheetos these are lined with carolina reaper

01:15:02.720 pepper they're built to kill you yeah they're built to kill you why are loud they shouldn't be

01:15:07.460 But honestly, who's going to make those decisions at this point?

01:15:10.920 A president told us to inject Clorox.

01:15:12.880 You know what I'm saying?

01:15:14.340 And there's evidence supporting.

01:15:16.700 Or didn't tell us to inject Clorox, but told us that we're looking into.

01:15:19.980 We should study it.

01:15:20.540 Yes, that we should study injecting Clorox.

01:15:22.660 Do you know the Center for Poison Control?

01:15:24.880 There are calls regarding swallowing disinfectants.

01:15:30.660 Poison reports in New York are up 2x.

01:15:32.740 Doubled immediately.

01:15:34.300 I think that's got to be people 1.00

01:15:36.820 just calling and fucking with them. 0.98

01:15:38.240 It's not actually people doing it. 0.99

01:15:40.340 Jeff, don't overestimate

01:15:43.500 the intelligence

01:15:45.620 of the American citizen right now. 0.99

01:15:48.380 We're in a fucking strange time. 0.99

01:15:49.820 We're in a strange time. 0.99

01:15:51.660 I don't think he was instructing 0.99

01:15:53.920 people to drink fucking Clorox, 0.99

01:15:55.760 but 1.00

01:15:55.960 he said he was

01:15:59.460 addressing

01:16:01.680 the reporter and saying that we were

01:16:03.640 looking into it

01:16:04.540 as a way to clean out

01:16:05.920 your system

01:16:06.640 he was not being sarcastic

01:16:09.180 he said he was

01:16:10.540 he said he was being sarcastic

01:16:11.580 but he was

01:16:12.000 yeah but he was not

01:16:13.060 being sarcastic

01:16:13.840 there's not a lot of room

01:16:14.640 for sarcasm in the presidency

01:16:15.980 Logan you have a chance

01:16:17.660 no Abby

01:16:18.720 what do you mean I have a chance

01:16:19.580 you have a good chance

01:16:20.280 no no no

01:16:20.860 I'm going to win

01:16:21.780 I told him yesterday

01:16:22.840 before I die

01:16:23.480 before I die 0.68

01:16:24.380 I will be president

01:16:25.200 of the United States

01:16:26.120 and honestly

01:16:27.040 honestly

01:16:27.620 I will probably be

01:16:28.960 a very good president

01:16:29.860 I can't wait

01:16:30.540 I think so

01:16:31.000 2032 is the first year

01:16:32.140 I can run

01:16:32.680 but it's probably

01:16:33.740 going to be when 0.96

01:16:34.120 I'm a grown ass man 0.94

01:16:35.820 with lots of intelligence 0.95

01:16:36.720 and wisdom

01:16:37.780 successes failures

01:16:38.740 we should start now

01:16:39.260 we're planting seeds now

01:16:40.420 yeah I got Halo

01:16:41.040 I'm running 20

01:16:42.480 like 50ish

01:16:43.340 let's call it

01:16:43.860 and I'm excited

01:16:45.520 to be your president

01:16:46.860 should you live

01:16:47.540 in America 0.97

01:16:48.360 I think you'll be

01:16:49.440 a good president

01:16:49.960 because you're

01:16:50.540 your cabinet around you

01:16:52.880 yeah I got good cabinets

01:16:54.380 they're high quality

01:16:55.220 they hold a lot of plates

01:16:57.060 and cutlery

01:16:58.280 and dishes

01:16:59.820 Tim Dillon's going to be

01:17:01.500 my uh secretary of state yeah yeah oh yeah that's a solid note how about secretary of defense

01:17:07.400 hmm probably probably greg paul yeah that would why why are the prisons so old like why like why

01:17:15.020 why is biden so old why is trump so old where's our young stud dude do you know do you know kim

01:17:20.280 jong-un kim jong-un died so allegedly and also also allegedly but also today allegedly he didn't

01:17:26.820 dying as well he's good but did you know he was 36 this is what i was gonna say he's 36 years old

01:17:32.220 he's a year older than mike that is insane i didn't first off he looks much older than that 0.99

01:17:37.160 dude was fucking 36 his daughter works looks scarier than him his daughter or sister i think 0.98

01:17:43.280 it's his daughter that becomes number two i thought it was his sister yeah sister sister yeah she 1.00

01:17:48.520 looks she's great yeah she should be the first female dictator of uh north korea should that

01:17:52.260 happened i wonder how that go i mean like do they do equality there for jenner's it's crazy

01:17:58.100 maybe now they would it's anyways i'm saying like a young a young leader like where's our

01:18:03.780 young where's our kim jong-un our stud bro did you see the biden situation where he can't somebody

01:18:10.860 came out and was said that you know he was sexually harassing somebody biden and that

01:18:16.400 people are saying that yeah i mean no you've seen it you've seen it bro he smells young women's hair

01:18:21.200 my mom just texted me

01:18:22.220 she said

01:18:22.540 I remember putting

01:18:23.980 little note cards

01:18:24.620 in your lunch

01:18:25.000 so I must have

01:18:25.560 packed your lunch

01:18:26.080 when you were

01:18:26.420 in grade school

01:18:26.980 and I do actually

01:18:28.260 remember this

01:18:28.820 like this one

01:18:31.180 forget your mistakes

01:18:32.180 but never forget

01:18:33.500 what they teach you

01:18:34.160 wow how pertinent

01:18:34.960 to my life

01:18:35.500 she left that

01:18:36.220 as a note

01:18:36.660 in your lunch

01:18:37.180 yeah

01:18:37.980 a little bit

01:18:39.760 high level

01:18:40.200 for a 6th grader

01:18:41.540 4 year old

01:18:42.180 using kindergarten

01:18:44.080 alright guys

01:18:45.340 that's it

01:18:46.260 a little bit

01:18:46.840 of a different podcast

01:18:47.580 I don't know

01:18:47.960 if you guys felt it

01:18:48.580 but let us know

01:18:50.040 what you thought

01:18:50.420 more serious like actual real life stuff that we talked about regardless as always we love you guys

01:18:56.200 thank you for listening watching viewing and subscribing if you made it this far i'm assuming

01:19:01.020 you've subscribed so we'll see you on thursday take it easy bye peace on holiday there's nothing

01:19:08.660 like doing nothing as an expedia member you can save up to 30 when you add a hotel to your flight

01:19:14.540 so you can go out there with great ambition

01:19:17.120 to do absolutely nothing for less.

01:19:20.000 Expedia, made to travel.

01:19:22.120 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

01:19:24.740 We have a new podcast.

01:19:26.140 It's called Don't Lie to Me.

01:19:27.520 I'm Lexi Iwanu.

01:19:28.700 We're two best friends, 22 years apart,

01:19:31.080 but so close at heart.

01:19:32.620 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one,

01:19:34.840 which means we have wildly different references,

01:19:37.260 occasionally different opinions.

01:19:38.680 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

01:19:41.460 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes,

01:19:44.140 Good taste is my business.

01:19:46.580 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:19:53.300 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast.

01:19:59.040 The true crime comedy podcast, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

01:20:03.440 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

01:20:05.320 Ooh, I scammed them.

01:20:06.520 What?

01:20:06.980 I could talk to you for an hour.

01:20:08.500 You're a generational yapper, like me.

01:20:10.520 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

01:20:12.280 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.

01:20:15.780 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app,

01:20:18.760 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:20:21.640 Scam Goddess!

01:20:23.560 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman.

01:20:25.200 Angela Jaritana.

01:20:26.120 Jeremy Culhane.

01:20:26.820 Patrick McDonald.

01:20:27.760 And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast.

01:20:31.580 The Improvised Character Comedy podcast,

01:20:33.620 where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.

01:20:37.340 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants.

01:20:40.020 and we do a little halloween sometimes does the pope dress up he he winks on halloween

01:20:45.880 it's right up next to the microphone you can i hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each

01:20:50.780 other you never seen italy so quiet as when the pope gets up to wink on halloween listen to artists

01:20:57.320 on artists on artists on artists every thursday on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever

01:21:02.460 you get your podcasts i'm hamza and i'm martin and we're the hosts of out of character the best

01:21:07.300 podcast in the world is that what they said wait they said that yeah yeah they said that the best

01:21:12.280 podcast with two best friends who jabber and talk about topical trendy funny stuff give our input on

01:21:18.440 it that's what you've needed i think up until now listener listen out of character on the iheart

01:21:22.800 radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast sometimes i just feel like a burden you're

01:21:28.160 a bird you fly you're martin and we are out of character podcast dude you messed up the clip

Impaulsive with Logan Paul - April 28, 2020

E179 LOGAN PAUL WILL BE PRESIDENT - IMPAULSIVE EP. 179

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