Impaulsive with Logan Paul - E184 Logan Paul VS. Dolan Dennis VS. Henry Cejudo VS. Ryan Garcia - IMPAULSIVE EP. 184

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00:00:30.500 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

00:00:33.060 We have a new podcast.

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00:00:35.860 I'm Lexi Iwanu.

00:00:37.020 We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

00:00:40.980 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references,

00:00:45.600 occasionally different opinions.

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00:01:00.000 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Culhane, Patrick McDonald, and we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast.

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00:01:42.140 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast,

00:01:47.800 the true crime comedy podcast all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

00:01:52.180 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

00:01:54.080 Ooh, I scammed them.

00:01:55.260 What?

00:01:55.720 I could talk to you for an hour.

00:01:57.120 You're a generational yapper, like me.

00:01:59.140 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

00:02:01.280 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.

00:02:04.520 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app,

00:02:07.520 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:02:10.440 Scam Goddess! 1.00

00:02:12.380 Shit, I tell you what, Dylan Dennis, I got a motherfucking message for you. 1.00

00:02:16.900 My beau Logan Pop will put it on your ass. 1.00

00:02:19.540 i mean bro the u.s government loses lawsuits all the time bro even america u.s citizens lose 1.00

00:02:34.520 lawsuits lawsuits are not laws fuck it's early strong oh it's early welcome welcome back to 0.77

00:02:41.820 I'm positive, the number of podcasts in the world. 0.92

00:02:44.240 Next week's the world.

00:02:46.120 Is that really how you feel?

00:02:48.320 I don't like the mornings.

00:02:50.020 I heard you say something yesterday that I want to bring up right away.

00:02:52.240 Go.

00:02:53.140 I heard you say at probably 12.30 a.m.

00:02:58.900 I'm having a bad day.

00:03:00.340 And if I'm going to have a bad day, everyone else is going to have a bad day.

00:03:03.700 You heard me?

00:03:04.380 Yes. 1.00

00:03:04.860 Fuck. 1.00

00:03:05.240 Why do you live like that? 1.00

00:03:07.120 That sucks. 1.00

00:03:08.080 I walked in the house 1230 a.m. after just like a shit storm of really unfortunate events. 0.99

00:03:15.520 And I professed at the top of my lungs so everyone in the house could hear, I'm having 1.00

00:03:21.820 a bad day, which means all of you fuckers are having a bad day. 1.00

00:03:25.900 That sucks, man. 1.00

00:03:26.980 Yeah, but bro, come on. 0.96

00:03:27.960 We're a team, right?

00:03:28.800 No, I had a great day.

00:03:30.000 Hey, come on.

00:03:30.420 I'm not playing into your bad day.

00:03:31.920 You just talked about this, bro.

00:03:33.400 Bro, like minds think alike.

00:03:34.620 I'm here for you.

00:03:35.420 And I'll make your day better.

00:03:37.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:03:37.140 what are you gonna do for me at 12 30 a.m that's gonna make my day better tell you to shut up and 0.63

00:03:41.080 go to bed wow you supply yeah you pointed me in the direction of the marijuana wow which i smoked 1.00

00:03:48.920 yeah every time i smoke and i talk about it the comments are like fucking get it logan you smoke 0.99

00:03:53.900 i'm still new to it i made my first i made my first uh uh joint last night i cussed i had to do it 0.99

00:03:59.760 i had to do it myself you're like the 12 year old behind west lake high school like smoking for the

00:04:05.060 first time out of a foil pipe and you're like guys you want to try some more of that let's smoke

00:04:09.520 more pots later guys josie josie rated rated it uh three out of ten she said did you did you hand

00:04:15.840 roll it or did you pack a no i packed a what is it called a full a cone you three out of ten to

00:04:21.680 come on guy all you got to do is stick weed in it surely there's some sort of learning curve for

00:04:26.680 this you can't expect not for a cone for rolling your own jay maybe but like for packing a cone 1.00

00:04:31.880 it's kind of like making a sandwich bro if you three out of ten that shit you're fucking 0.99

00:04:35.220 i saw someone arguing that you can't call yourself sober if you're just blazing that bush i did see 1.00

00:04:40.800 some comments like that because yeah we did we took the sober plunge you more than me i'm i'm

00:04:45.580 my rules were i'm gonna remain sober unless i'm at my ranch i'm on vacation or at coachella the

00:04:52.540 latter two have not never happened so i've been i've drank maybe maybe five alcohol and there's

00:04:57.340 the difference so so we looked this up when we talked about like what does the word sober mean

00:05:01.760 yeah it's the definition man but there's a principle behind it right look bro i'm a man

00:05:05.980 of words okay sober not affected by alcohol not drunk alcohol so yeah man i'm a blaze if i feel

00:05:14.160 like it and and my life if everyone who knows me is about uh experiencing and trying things

00:05:21.480 in excess seriously going to the extreme and i'm fully absorbing this this phase of my life

00:05:28.280 because i know it's just a phase where yeah i'm smoking dude so what so what you can't tell me

00:05:35.200 what to do so what this is my life i'll stop eventually but and i want to smoke pots

00:05:41.160 all right guys you know it's noon we started the podcast a little earlier today because

00:05:48.640 i have some stuff to do we all have some stuff to do we're all pretty busy mike i want to talk

00:05:53.460 about this this vlog you posted because i it really brings up some emotions for me

00:05:57.060 this in and out mukbang bro so i so as some people watch this know i'm obsessed with the

00:06:03.960 conversation about who is the true champion of what i call the moderate speed burger chain

00:06:11.220 vertical yeah who is it yeah and this is a this is a majorly fiery conversation people are willing 0.99

00:06:18.480 to take literal shots at motherfuckers about this stuff. 0.98

00:06:21.800 I'm one of them. 1.00

00:06:22.580 I'm one of them.

00:06:23.020 And you've got four players, all right?

00:06:25.840 You've got, I'll take them from the worst up first.

00:06:30.340 Whataburger, In-N-Out, Five Guys, and Shake Shack.

00:06:34.580 You've got four players.

00:06:36.340 And they're all players.

00:06:37.700 And they all got something that makes them special.

00:06:40.080 But a couple of them have things that make them

00:06:41.880 a little bit more special than the others.

00:06:43.260 And this past week, we did the third one

00:06:46.600 I've done on the night shift so far.

00:06:47.940 a mook bang we did a couples mook bang with logan being the fifth wheel at in and out and the result

00:06:55.280 of it was this vlog where we talked about in and out versus five guys versus shake shack and you

00:06:58.860 guys know this conversation is so important to me but this one for whatever reason drove people

00:07:04.320 in flocks to text me and logan our relationship is splintered as a result of what you said about

00:07:10.980 in and out that is a regional mainstay how dare you normally i'd be i'd i'd try to like

00:07:17.760 fight for those relationships if you if you have the audacity to tell me that in and out is number

00:07:26.300 one on your list i don't want to be friends with you you're not a person i would consider an amigo

00:07:32.860 in and out

00:07:35.520 is so

00:07:37.600 vehemently overrated

00:07:40.780 nice

00:07:41.940 nice word 0.98

00:07:43.420 it is ridiculous

00:07:45.560 how people actually fight

00:07:48.360 to defend the integrity

00:07:50.060 of in and out burgers

00:07:52.280 and specifically their fries

00:07:54.520 are you kidding me

00:07:56.000 that's where you got it right

00:07:57.440 and that is where they lose

00:08:00.080 the burgers can play

00:08:01.900 They can play.

00:08:03.020 I believe they fall a little short of five guys, and they fall very short of Shake Shack as well.

00:08:09.720 But where they truly lose and where they truly get stuck in the number three, maybe even the number four spot, is the fries. 0.96

00:08:16.320 You are talking about some of the most cookie-cutter bullshit french fries on the market. 0.96

00:08:23.800 Logan told me that they could come out of a Barbie playhouse, and they're put in a microwave and served. 0.97

00:08:28.620 And this is even when you do them animal style with the cheese, the onions and the special sauce, they they they are upgraded cardboard put into a cardboard container and you sit there and you eat a refrigerator box.

00:08:41.800 I don't know.

00:08:42.440 Like like Stass texted us and was getting in my face and I had to stand my ground.

00:08:48.020 I said, look, I've severed friendships today because of this exact conversation.

00:08:51.600 And I'm willing to do that with you.

00:08:53.640 Yep.

00:08:55.140 How?

00:08:56.880 What am I missing?

00:08:57.900 help me understand here's what it is the easiest way to explain it is in and out is the only one

00:09:05.300 of the big four that produces a feeling i landed in la for the first time i'd never seen the

00:09:11.960 beautiful rolling hills the palm trees and there there was in and out dude the beautiful sign and

00:09:17.800 i rolled in down on inglewood right after i left the airport and i got my hands on a double double

00:09:22.240 and some animal style fries because all my friends who had been to cali told me all about it and i'll

00:09:26.660 always remember that sunny day it was 82 degrees and i was in a rental that i got from lax and it

00:09:31.580 was right before i went to the beach for the first time and it made this feeling inside me that i'll

00:09:35.340 never forget and when you fight feeling with food it's trouble it's trouble sometimes and yesterday

00:09:41.700 it got so deep that i was on twitter fighting fascism with this conversation just kept going

00:09:47.740 people because people said some guy said um well if it's not as good as it is how come it has such

00:09:55.100 a fanfare how come it has such a large fan base and somebody responded to that nazism had a fan

00:10:00.700 base too and it wasn't good either and then somebody else and then somebody commented

00:10:04.400 comments after that and said are we having a conversation comparing food to fascism right

00:10:08.340 now and i said to that this is exactly the kind of conversation i want my content to create

00:10:13.460 this is amazing this is amazing food versus bad i got a word that mike mike like it's uh brand

00:10:20.160 loyalty. In-N-Out

00:10:22.460 is strong. In-N-Out, California

00:10:24.220 origin, right? Yep. You grow

00:10:26.340 up, your parents take you to In-N-Out because

00:10:28.240 they're like, I got to get this kid some sort of food.

00:10:30.280 So they take you to In-N-Out, you get the fries, you get

00:10:32.220 the burger and the little kid drink and you're

00:10:34.160 having so much fun because you're a kid. You grow

00:10:36.180 up, you're like, where should I go get food? Oh, I used to

00:10:38.180 always love In-N-Out. It gives you that

00:10:40.140 nostalgic feeling. But then, when did

00:10:42.180 Five Guys start creeping in? Probably

00:10:44.140 pretty recently, huh? No, a decade, decade ago.

00:10:46.320 Decade? Yeah, it's been a while. But even then,

00:10:48.140 you know, go back 20 years, you got kids, you're feeding them

00:10:50.100 I hate to interrupt you.

00:10:53.040 We have a very important guest calling in right now.

00:10:56.060 Really important surprise special guest.

00:10:58.000 Ask him, by the way.

00:10:58.900 Oh, that's a good idea.

00:11:00.400 Henry in Cejudo.

00:11:02.580 Henry Cejudo.

00:11:04.140 One of the greatest combat sports fighters of all time.

00:11:06.360 He fought this past weekend at UFC 249.

00:11:08.440 He won third time defending his belt.

00:11:10.300 Double weight champ.

00:11:12.540 This dude's amazing, and he just retired,

00:11:14.660 and he's calling in right now via Zoom,

00:11:16.100 so I'm going to bring him in here.

00:11:17.180 Let's see what happens.

00:11:18.940 Henry.

00:11:20.100 looks like you oh whoa yeah i think we have to uh are you there are you there logan i am can

00:11:33.160 you hear me all right the greatest of all time is here let's go let's go henry that's what we've 0.85

00:11:39.760 been saying dude i think he's like i'm i'm officially with the clowns join the circus 0.99

00:11:48.120 welcome to the circus that's fucking funny how you doing man where you at right now you uh 0.99

00:11:55.140 taking some time off after the big win yeah taking uh yeah bullshit i'm i'm officially 0.99

00:12:01.440 retired man retired or retired or retarded i don't know which one maybe both maybe both 0.97

00:12:07.820 have you gone golfing yet i feel like that's a good retirement activity 0.72

00:12:12.520 yeah i don't know man you don't know if you have you have any extra spare uh sticks what are they

00:12:18.220 called the golf club yeah i i don't i don't golf i don't know no but wait i have a question henry

00:12:24.160 why let's just dive into it why why you retire when you're quite literally on top and have

00:12:30.160 defended your title for so long i feel like you're you're peaking yeah i would i would agree logan i

00:12:37.600 would obviously but it's there's a satisfaction man when you when you become when you do something

00:12:46.320 that nobody's ever done and i think every fighter's dream it's like uh it's like it's like it's like a

00:12:51.620 girl it's like a virgin for their wedding you know what i'm saying like like before they before they

00:12:55.900 give it up you know what i'm saying like there's a purity when you're able to defend both belts

00:13:02.300 nobody's won the belts but me an olympic gold medal and you're just saying goodbye man it would

00:13:07.900 have to be worth it man for me to come back so if i could just sum it all up man i'm satisfied man

00:13:13.560 i'm full i don't have a chip on my shoulder man like you know what it feels like to be king 0.94

00:13:17.660 yeah i know what it feels like and the shit feels good i like i like the idea of going out on top 0.87

00:13:24.740 that that leaves a a really uh powerful and hard to recreate legacy so i i i i like that for you 0.99

00:13:32.700 man uh you mentioned the and plus logan i talk too much shit man wait what do you mean that's 0.87

00:13:38.940 good that's you gotta sell the sell the fight oh you do but you know how many people would 0.99

00:13:43.600 fucking troll me as soon as if like let's say if i was to lose shit look at look at ben asker and 0.98

00:13:49.680 George Masvidal, for the rest 0.99

00:13:51.840 of his life, man, I love Ben.

00:13:54.280 Ben Wilfer always be 0.91

00:13:55.760 ridiculed and known for that freaking need. 0.96

00:13:57.800 Oh, that was the worst. 0.98

00:13:59.220 And he was

00:13:59.800 undefeated.

00:14:03.560 I mean, the dude had everything

00:14:04.980 pretty much to gain, and he just

00:14:06.860 lost in a very devastating

00:14:09.360 fashion. That's what he's got to live for.

00:14:11.140 Yeah. I have a question for you, Henry.

00:14:13.580 The infamous and famous

00:14:15.240 Kanye West once said, don't leave

00:14:17.440 when you're hot. That's how Mace

00:14:19.080 screwed up and uh it begs the question are you sure man like what is are you sure there's nothing 0.99

00:14:25.020 else you want in this sport before you lay it down shit i'm trying i'm trying i'm trying to get 0.99

00:14:29.820 to that like uh he's throwing a couple zeros man uh you know i'm trying to be i'm trying to be on 0.99

00:14:41.640 the farthest like like uncle logan do you have do you have a plan for that because because you're

00:14:46.940 you're still incredibly uh healthy andrew andrew young too like you what what now

00:14:52.400 well i'm gonna get into real estate i want to get into real estate um i thought he said 0.99

00:14:58.420 roller skating i thought he said roller skating i'm sorry fuck maybe 0.94

00:15:04.180 so so so what is what's the uh what's your catch is is if you don't buy the house i'm trying to 1.00

00:15:11.700 sell you i'll beat the shit out of you shit man i might it might i hope it'll turn into that i hope 0.99

00:15:17.920 it'll turn into some freaking italian movie like that but uh no i wanna you know i i wanna do other 1.00

00:15:23.480 things in life man since i was 11 years old i've been competing at the highest levels man everything

00:15:28.740 that i've done since 11 like not even not even exaggerated since 11 i've never stopped i won i

00:15:35.060 won the u.s uh open national title at the age of uh you know as a senior in high school the first

00:15:40.700 to ever do it i forewent college uh you know i'm pretty i was like the which is which is crazy

00:15:47.340 because my wrestling credentials are like way more impressive than what i've done in ufc

00:15:51.820 because i i've foregone or i forewent my college career to train for the olympics muscle two years

00:15:58.800 out of high school instead of going to iowa iowa state to a major division one i says i'm going to

00:16:03.900 become professional i'm going to take money and i'm going to put my eggs and becoming the best

00:16:08.020 in the world and two years after i graduated high school i won the olympic games man so i

00:16:13.440 became the youngest in history to ever do that so henry my whole life logan has been

00:16:19.560 has been an adventure and my whole life has been it has been competition man i'm looking forward to

00:16:25.480 to that next chapter in life man i totally get that and you you you say what you just said with

00:16:32.580 such nonchalance and it that's a really hard thing to do how do you stay hungry after all these years

00:16:40.060 of of training and practice and getting hit in the face and having to work out and the discipline

00:16:44.500 you can't party you have a bedtime you have to go to training camp like where where where does

00:16:49.200 that fuel come from well the fuel now now that i'm retiring you're talking about when i was when

00:16:54.360 you were doing all that yeah when you're doing all that which was what as of four days ago

00:16:58.200 yeah no it's uh and a lot of people actually think i'm joking i'm doing this but no i i did

00:17:03.940 it in wrestling i retired in wrestling i never came back but i was extremely young you can hear

00:17:08.800 from daniel cormier because he mentioned it but honestly it was it was goal setting it was you

00:17:14.460 win you win a world title ufc okay what's next obviously i gotta defend i gotta defend it with

00:17:18.340 the biggest dog i did that what's what's next i defend your title i said give me another belt man

00:17:23.640 i want i want some so there's always goals that i would set on top of myself and then the last goal

00:17:29.440 that i had was for me to be pound for pound but i just don't think you know that politically i love

00:17:35.400 john but he's been having a bunch of split decisions and there could be never fights

00:17:38.880 yeah you know what i'm saying like how the hell am i gonna have the opportunity to be

00:17:42.720 popped upon the best of the world if i if these things ain't giving me a chance but if i'm finishing

00:17:47.280 people my last four opponents i freaking knocked out like all of them i know freaking simple

00:17:52.680 decisions it was uh yeah we've we've seen all your fights he actually he actually beat uh tj 0.88

00:18:01.040 who we had in the show oh dillashaw yeah hey i got a dildo dildo shaw hey see that's what

00:18:08.160 that's what i wanted to hear from you because i want to ask you i want to ask you a question 0.99

00:18:12.280 about shit talking um as soon as you announced you're retiring you were retiring internet loud 0.99

00:18:17.220 mouth dylan danis said nobody really cares what and and he's he just talks shit non-stop what are 1.00

00:18:23.660 your thoughts on on double d there i tell you what dylan danis i got a motherfucking message for you 1.00

00:18:29.660 my bowl logan pop will put it on your ass honestly honestly logan from what i saw dude i saw you 0.99

00:18:39.860 spar against I saw bits and pieces of that dude you uh I would sincerely I would have put my money 0.99

00:18:47.480 on you and he and he's uh he's a mixed martial artist he's been in the game for a while he's

00:18:51.020 kind of a great training partner I don't see him beating you bro I don't even think of MMA bro

00:18:57.200 with your wrestling uh credentials and obviously you got your hands dude I dude I saw you I saw

00:19:02.220 your fight to get you know I I've seen you box before dude you're legit bro thanks man I just 0.94

00:19:07.260 don't and i just don't think dan dennis man would uh i think he's just a fucking trope man honestly 0.98

00:19:12.600 now he is he's like uh he's like the mma equivalent of like a really disgusting piece of gum that's 0.98

00:19:17.700 stuck on the underside of your shoe you know what i'm saying and and to be honest with you i don't 0.79

00:19:23.000 know if i'm i don't know if i'm so uh enthusiastic about peeling the gum off like let the gum be the

00:19:30.900 gum on the bottom side of the shoe i don't i i don't know if people want to see that fight there's 0.93

00:19:35.680 so many people i can fight like let's be honest who who the fuck is dylan dan is like we say him 0.99

00:19:40.100 no one's no one's gonna know who he's talking about and he's gonna have some shit to say 0.98

00:19:42.680 because of this but he he's just the guy who runs his mouth so i don't i don't know yeah but i 0.96

00:19:47.860 honestly i think the angle is he's conor mcgregor's he's one of conor mcgregor's girlfriends you want

00:19:52.700 to beat him up i got you want you want to be you want to become the first intergender world champ

00:19:58.740 his twitter bio his twitter bio just says icon is he would you say he's an icon yeah yeah for sure

00:20:06.540 man totally man yeah but you know what it's like it's almost like i'm almost somewhat of a fan 1.00

00:20:14.520 because he don't give a shit he don't give a fuck you gotta respect motherfuckers you gotta 1.00

00:20:20.680 respect people like that you still give a fuck all right thanks i saw you uh i saw you chirping 1.00

00:20:25.960 at our boy 0.99

00:20:28.040 Ryan Garcia as well.

00:20:30.640 Ryan Garcia.

00:20:31.920 First man, you guys, I'm talking to

00:20:33.960 all your boys. Dildo Shaw.

00:20:38.320 You guys gotta make me come up

00:20:39.940 with a better name for Ryan Garcia.

00:20:42.360 Are you gonna box him?

00:20:44.160 If the princess wants it, 1.00

00:20:46.640 I'll make him bend the knee 0.98

00:20:48.180 just like I made everybody else.

00:20:50.160 And we can box. 0.99

00:20:52.200 Damn, I wanna see that 0.99

00:20:54.000 so bad. 0.99

00:20:55.960 Ryan's got hands.

00:20:58.900 Ryan's a bad man, dude.

00:21:00.660 I'm telling you, bro.

00:21:01.700 Ryan's got hands, but I got a big shoe. 1.00

00:21:04.380 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:21:06.280 Oh, he's talking about a fight fight, like MMA? 1.00

00:21:10.080 Nah, I'd probably be boxing.

00:21:12.100 It has to be.

00:21:13.300 The crossover the other way is...

00:21:15.100 It doesn't work.

00:21:15.760 Yeah, it doesn't work.

00:21:17.180 Yeah, I would box him.

00:21:18.760 So if Ryan Garcia wants some of this smoke,

00:21:21.080 he's the one that mentioned me.

00:21:22.780 You know what I call video.

00:21:23.780 He's hungry.

00:21:24.240 I've been texting him, and the quarantine is making him really adamant to get in the ring.

00:21:29.040 Like, he wants to fight.

00:21:30.940 Yeah, but he's picking the wrong fight, man.

00:21:33.880 Is there any background on that kind of David versus Goliath situation?

00:21:38.580 Like, has any, like, small person ever fought a giant man in a boxing match before?

00:21:43.780 Always.

00:21:44.600 Who is it?

00:21:45.480 I think, like, the first UFC.

00:21:47.920 How long?

00:21:48.500 Yeah.

00:21:49.100 How long?

00:21:49.920 You guys know how tall Ryan Garcia is?

00:21:51.320 Like, four foot six, I would say.

00:21:53.040 and he's like maybe a buck twenty soaking wet

00:21:55.040 dude I think you could probably pick him up

00:21:57.240 with that one hand

00:21:58.020 he's a lightning ball

00:22:01.560 what are you talking about Ryan's like 5'10

00:22:03.100 is he that tall

00:22:04.640 yeah but what does he weigh

00:22:07.840 is he 5'10

00:22:09.540 he's 5'10 probably 135

00:22:11.100 I had no idea the sex 1.00

00:22:13.380 shit that 1.00

00:22:13.960 that high 1.00

00:22:15.760 Henry how tall are you

00:22:18.700 let it go

00:22:20.440 how tall are you Henry

00:22:22.100 I'm 5'4

00:22:24.880 of twisted steel

00:22:26.520 and sexy steel

00:22:27.720 how tall?

00:22:29.600 Henry's 5'4

00:22:30.560 he's 5

00:22:32.440 no how tall is he really?

00:22:34.220 Henry is 5'4

00:22:35.140 wow I've dramatically flopped here

00:22:39.340 and I met him in person

00:22:41.880 why do I not remember that?

00:22:43.680 yeah but you know what

00:22:44.440 this is what I'm going to say

00:22:45.440 yeah of course I am short

00:22:47.080 but even with short guys

00:22:49.320 you will have problems

00:22:50.560 why?

00:22:50.960 because the reach is different.

00:22:52.840 So as much as Brian's reach would be weird for me,

00:22:56.480 my height and my stature would be weird for him too.

00:22:59.680 But it almost equals out in some sense.

00:23:02.720 Henry, what was it like fighting in an empty arena last weekend?

00:23:10.960 It was actually nice, man.

00:23:12.620 I think as a fighter, as a competitor, as a true competitor, 1.00

00:23:16.200 not some motherfucker that wants to hit the crowd, 0.97

00:23:18.500 but as a true competitor it was it was very it was very real when it comes to a fighter following 0.99

00:23:28.800 directions because i was able to hear his corner and then my corner and it's almost like both

00:23:34.200 fighters fight but it's also like both corners are also like in this battle war so that's what

00:23:40.480 i took it was it was it was cool man it was special like it really was like the crowd is

00:23:44.980 awesome dude i would prefer with the crowd but it was a really neat experience for me to be able

00:23:49.600 to see and you can go back and watch the tips you can hear the you can hear the commentary you can

00:23:54.780 hear uh my team and their team kind of battling with different code words that was super cool

00:24:00.520 y'all had code words yeah we have code words like uh like i like i'll give i'll give you an example 0.98

00:24:06.660 uh pumpkin you know pumpkin means fucking shooting the head okay shooting at the head 0.97

00:24:13.180 because the pumpkin spaghetti means, you know, 1.00

00:24:16.780 kicking the freak, kicking the shit out of his leg. 0.99

00:24:18.500 So let me get this straight. 1.00

00:24:19.360 Your coaches are in this empty arena just screaming,

00:24:22.220 pumpkin spaghetti, spaghetti.

00:24:25.060 Exactly, exactly, exactly.

00:24:26.800 But it sounds weird to a lot of people, but really it makes sense.

00:24:30.900 Yeah, you have to do it.

00:24:32.000 I've fought a lot of people where I can hear their coaches, 0.99

00:24:35.220 hey, get that left hip going and fucking left hip. 0.98

00:24:37.640 I'm knocking them out because I'm hearing these dudes 0.99

00:24:40.300 tell him exactly what to hit

00:24:42.200 and these dudes are listening to the coaching

00:24:44.140 you know what I'm saying

00:24:45.960 even when I knocked out Dominic Cruz

00:24:48.220 with that knee it was my coach

00:24:50.080 you can hear my coach say pumpkin

00:24:52.120 and I went for a pumpkin 0.99

00:24:54.120 and fucking caught him 0.99

00:24:55.780 diving in and that was it 0.99

00:24:58.120 unbiased opinion you think the stoppage

00:25:00.220 was correct two seconds left in the second

00:25:02.280 round right and he was saying he was getting

00:25:04.200 up so they shouldn't have stopped it

00:25:06.300 it was

00:25:08.400 a good stoppage man I wasn't going to hurt him

00:25:09.840 results i i agree actually i was i uh i doubled down on that one i thought that they stopped it

00:25:14.580 at a good at a good point hey henry when we went to uh vegas and we had uh that pizza dinner

00:25:20.860 together you were kind enough to let me hold your your two belts which was awesome like like truly

00:25:25.400 like thank you for that that was a once in a lifetime experience and then also i found out

00:25:29.620 your your olympic gold medal that you had won youngest person ever to win an olympic gold medal

00:25:35.520 uh burned i understand it got it was burned in a house fire and you lost it yeah so this was back

00:25:42.700 in 2000 was i think it was 2017 it was 2017 this was this was this was like the biggest fire in 0.79

00:25:51.140 california history this was a santa rosa fire oh shit you guys remember that yeah of course 0.55

00:25:56.080 it happened a couple years ago everything went down so i was out there for a charity event 0.67

00:26:01.600 for a big charity event with some of the biggest stars right in a while was there man so you had

00:26:06.920 hall of famers like jerry rice you had joe montana steve young yeah like all these barry

00:26:13.940 bonds like like the the biggest celebrities are the biggest legends on earth and i was invited to

00:26:20.040 it and that night uh you know when when we had wine which i never drink wine you know what i'm

00:26:25.480 saying like i'm not i'm more of a beer guy but anyway it was a wine event so i drank wine

00:26:29.360 i got back to hotel maybe about about 11 o'clock and i told my team hey i'm gonna go to sleep guys

00:26:35.340 i have to wake up early at 7 a.m then i go to my room i take a shower i'm in my bathtub i was so

00:26:42.020 tired that about midnight i fell asleep just because of the wine about 2 30 a.m hit and i'm

00:26:48.900 hearing the alarms from the freaking hotel and i'm just like you know i looked outside the window

00:26:53.520 everything was fine i looked outside my door i was like man it's just uh you know somebody just

00:26:58.840 happen to hit the alarm so i'm going back to sleep so i put the pillow over my head

00:27:02.720 and freaking i went to my side and i pretty much just kind of slept through the alarm

00:27:07.040 oh shit 230 comes around now this time i wake up but this time this time i wake up coughing 0.78

00:27:16.600 this time i wake up coughing and sweating and i'm thinking i'm dreaming again bro because i went i 0.93

00:27:22.080 went to sleep drunk on some wine yeah on some genuine yeah so then i wake up and i go to try

00:27:29.860 to turn on the lights from the whole from my hotel room and when i go and try to turn on the

00:27:34.100 lights the hotel the freaking lights from the hotel room wasn't turning on and i'm thinking

00:27:38.620 i'm dreaming because i at this point i couldn't breathe bro keep in mind too i'm in a towel

00:27:42.700 now i go to the uh i go to uh i go to see outside of my my my bedroom to see you know what's going

00:27:52.500 on and when i go outside to look at my bedroom from my bedroom window three fourths of the hotel

00:27:58.960 that i'm in is on fire it's probably about five six rooms from getting hit the cars in front of

00:28:04.240 me there's two cars in front of me and they were both on fire the houses that were in front of me

00:28:09.120 It was all on fire. 0.99

00:28:10.440 Damn. 0.99

00:28:11.100 I started tripping out, man. 0.99

00:28:13.220 So keep in mind, at that point, I had brought my Olympic gold medal, my Olympic ring, my Olympic belt.

00:28:18.440 I brought my most important memorabilia.

00:28:22.880 And I pretty much couldn't breathe no more.

00:28:27.580 So what I did is I was freeballing it too.

00:28:29.520 So I put my slacks off the night before.

00:28:32.080 I opened up the window from the two-story hotel.

00:28:35.640 And I jumped off.

00:28:36.560 I jumped off the two-story.

00:28:38.280 building and when I jump off 0.66

00:28:40.780 a freaking branch 0.67

00:28:43.000 the branch, my right foot

00:28:45.020 catches on fire

00:28:46.020 there was hot lava everywhere

00:28:48.920 I wish I could exaggerate

00:28:50.460 my right foot catches on fire

00:28:53.000 I put it out, man I start walking up

00:28:55.080 to this hill to try to see a view

00:28:57.180 I'm walking around and I'm seeing these

00:28:59.020 buildings, I'm seeing these cars

00:29:00.800 I remember I saw a freaking cat that was on fire

00:29:03.320 like some crazy stuff 0.65

00:29:04.760 like something out of a movie bro

00:29:06.220 and I remember walking up and I remember

00:29:08.120 praying and praying to god i was like god maybe i'm not the best christian but jesus man i don't

00:29:12.500 deserve to die like this i'm almost here kind of like you know i'm hyperventilating a little bit

00:29:17.040 like it's a crazy feeling to almost die in a fire like that so then i go on top of this hill

00:29:21.400 you know california and then i see the freeway and then i saw there's a cop car there and all

00:29:26.120 around me bro keep in mind there's a brush fire there was fire everywhere then once i saw that

00:29:31.620 cop car in the middle of the freeway i started running down there like fast bro like speedy

00:29:36.300 gonzalez why not even a mexican and i was just like dude i gotta get out there man because

00:29:41.240 every it's like it's almost like the city was deserted but it was on fire that makes any sense

00:29:46.540 so then i had to jump a couple fences to get to the freeway to get to the cop cars and i jumped 0.73

00:29:52.320 the first fence like a mexican you know pretty fast and quick but then it was a second fence 0.93

00:29:58.660 that caught me man so when i went like the second fence was like flimsy so then when i went to go 1.00

00:30:04.240 jump that second fence it like it like uh it was so flinted i had to kind of drip myself over that 0.84

00:30:10.060 time i jumped off like the edge of the fence i literally cut my leg in my ass so now i'm burnt 0.92

00:30:17.300 up i'm there's ash all over my body the fence snatches my leg part of my butt takes a bone so 0.90

00:30:23.320 now i'm bleeding i'm missing a i'm missing a pant leg i got no shirt on no shoes and then i go and

00:30:30.060 and start running faster to the cop car.

00:30:32.240 And as soon as they get close to the cop car,

00:30:33.780 they're thinking, cop car leaves.

00:30:35.460 No.

00:30:37.060 It leaves, man.

00:30:37.960 Middle of the freeway, it just leaves.

00:30:39.340 They ain't seen.

00:30:40.540 So then, as soon as the cop car left,

00:30:43.220 there was a big old semi coming.

00:30:46.000 It looked like a semi.

00:30:46.960 And as it got closer, man,

00:30:48.660 it was an actual fire truck.

00:30:51.440 So the fire truck, they saw me.

00:30:53.280 They looked at me like, hey, man.

00:30:54.840 He's like, you're lucky to be alive, man.

00:30:56.220 So I got rescued.

00:30:57.820 I lost my Olympic gold medal in the process.

00:30:59.680 I lost my Olympic ring in the process, but I didn't lose my spirit in that process.

00:31:06.020 And here I am today as a triple C.

00:31:08.640 Let's go.

00:31:09.540 What's harder, defending your title as many times as you did or running from a brush fire?

00:31:15.320 I think it's probably, I think the hardest thing of, I'm probably trying to, when I argue 0.99

00:31:20.580 with my girl, that's the hardest shit I've ever done. 0.99

00:31:24.780 That's crazy. 1.00

00:31:25.460 You know what I'm saying?

00:31:26.020 I heard the Olympic Committee makes it difficult to replace the medal, right?

00:31:31.120 Because you can't just, like, buy a new one.

00:31:33.560 It needs to be.

00:31:34.180 No, you can't.

00:31:35.100 You can't, man.

00:31:35.660 So there's a whole process, man.

00:31:37.000 And it's crazy because I've been so busy that I haven't even had a chance to do that.

00:31:41.260 But now that I have time, I'm going to speak to them and get my replica.

00:31:47.020 So it's unfortunate, man.

00:31:48.420 It's unfortunate.

00:31:49.300 But I'm lucky to be alive, man.

00:31:51.080 I'm here to kind of share that story, man.

00:31:52.560 And it's pretty cool because you feel these emotions, like being scared, like hyperventilating, that you feel these emotions that you never thought your body would be able to feel, man.

00:32:06.000 That's kind of what I take from it, too.

00:32:07.680 It's a cool experience.

00:32:08.840 Yeah, yeah.

00:32:10.240 It's unfortunate that you had to be pushed to that place, but at least now you know what it's like should it ever happen again.

00:32:16.300 Oh, man, I'm the first one out, dude.

00:32:18.980 I got you.

00:32:19.520 All right, so now that you're retired and you're surviving brush fires and you've had this extensive life and experience behind you, are you going to coach as well as the real estate stuff?

00:32:30.600 Because that seems like a pretty natural path for fighters after they retire.

00:32:35.700 Yeah, no, not really.

00:32:37.360 I think I'll always help out.

00:32:38.640 I think I'll always be part of wrestling because of what the sport has done for me.

00:32:42.600 But I really don't see myself being involved in either.

00:32:48.400 you know i'll always be a fan of mma and wrestling but i just don't see myself like being a coach

00:32:53.820 my passion bro and the reason why i'm gonna say that logan is because i know what it takes i know

00:32:59.760 what it takes to be the best in the world man and if i can't get that from somebody if i can't have

00:33:04.700 a bunch of unicorns guys that are just the lead and understand they're gonna listen they don't

00:33:10.020 waste my damn time dude you know and i've always been like that so wrestling or mma i just i don't

00:33:15.040 I don't see a commitment with people and I just, 0.98

00:33:18.980 I think I,

00:33:19.360 I think I'll lose my patience.

00:33:20.860 Got you.

00:33:21.640 Got you.

00:33:22.380 All right.

00:33:22.680 Last,

00:33:23.060 last question I want to ask,

00:33:24.340 uh,

00:33:24.800 who,

00:33:25.060 who you got your eyes on in the UFC?

00:33:28.800 Uh,

00:33:29.440 Valentina Shepchenko. 1.00

00:33:31.820 What weight class is that? 0.97

00:33:34.460 It's one 25. 1.00

00:33:35.620 That's a female fighter. 1.00

00:33:36.600 I'm looking to become the first intergender.

00:33:40.240 I don't know if you can say that. 0.99

00:33:43.460 He can,

00:33:44.380 he can.

00:33:44.860 we just can't comment

00:33:45.700 no comment

00:33:47.420 honestly

00:33:50.280 if there's one fight

00:33:51.400 Logan

00:33:51.660 that really

00:33:52.340 you know

00:33:53.720 that'll wake me up

00:33:54.820 that'll be worth it

00:33:56.120 for me

00:33:56.720 to be like

00:33:57.440 hey man

00:33:57.800 I'm gonna

00:33:58.040 I'm gonna put my

00:33:59.100 my credentials

00:34:00.100 on a line

00:34:00.660 for somebody

00:34:01.320 it'd be

00:34:03.120 it'd be fighting

00:34:03.660 Alexander Volkanovski

00:34:04.900 at 145 pounds

00:34:06.080 to make me

00:34:07.260 see

00:34:07.720 four

00:34:08.760 that'd be crazy

00:34:10.420 who's the bad

00:34:11.960 who's the

00:34:12.340 I'm in

00:34:13.860 I'll buy that fight 1.00

00:34:14.720 twice since you don't since you don't like the intergender idea wait can you ask him can you ask 0.99

00:34:21.880 him the most important question before we leave the one i told you ask him are you wearing underwear

00:34:25.800 nope not that one it's about moderate speed burger oh oh final question if you had to rate

00:34:33.040 the following moderate speed burger chains there's four of them from your least favorite to most

00:34:37.460 favorite whataburger in and out five guys and shake shack what's your order oh my god like

00:34:44.740 from least to from least to greatest yes oh god this is what was it again whataburger in and out

00:34:52.120 five guys and shake shack yes yeah honestly i would have it just like that whataburger in and 0.97

00:35:00.660 out uh yes wait wait wait guys and shake shit yes oh you're the exact same way i put it oh my god 0.99

00:35:10.040 yes thank you thank you henry cejudo you're a fucking saint and now i now i do think you 1.00

00:35:15.380 could be ryan garcia holy shit you're a fucking you're amazing 0.99

00:35:19.920 no problem guys thank you for having me on your show of course brother 0.99

00:35:25.740 logan you're you're a good ambassador for for what you've done in wrestling too man and uh

00:35:31.220 You know, keep up the good work, brother.

00:35:32.380 Thank you, brother.

00:35:33.040 Likewise.

00:35:33.460 Look forward to seeing you soon.

00:35:35.360 All right, guys.

00:35:35.900 You got to take it easy.

00:35:37.240 We'll see you, Zao. 1.00

00:35:39.100 Peace, homie. 1.00

00:35:42.020 I want him back. 0.95

00:35:43.400 Get him back in the UFC. 0.99

00:35:45.460 Damn, I do have to take the L on this one. 0.98

00:35:48.680 Ryan Garcia, 156. 0.99

00:35:50.760 Cejudo, 135.

00:35:52.800 So I was making this big stink about Garcia not being big enough.

00:35:55.760 But evidently, Garcia's a pretty big dude.

00:35:58.260 It's so crazy because you know him personally very well.

00:36:01.860 He's been here so many times.

00:36:03.580 You know what it is?

00:36:04.160 Being a bigger person, I always—

00:36:07.620 You don't acknowledge people who are shorter than you.

00:36:08.940 It's not acknowledging.

00:36:10.140 It's like I kind of just like—

00:36:11.300 And I know you would absolutely murder me with the one hand tied behind his back. 0.65

00:36:15.140 I just— 0.92

00:36:16.140 What's that?

00:36:17.480 5'10", 156.

00:36:20.460 Oh, you go fight Danny.

00:36:22.340 Ryan Garcia.

00:36:23.260 Danny, yeah.

00:36:24.020 Fight Ryan Garcia.

00:36:25.980 That's cool, man.

00:36:26.760 Yeah, so Henry Cejudo, man.

00:36:28.260 Thank you.

00:36:29.020 That was amazing.

00:36:30.960 What else?

00:36:32.040 What else you got going on?

00:36:32.700 All right, so that was a guest that we had on.

00:36:34.640 Who is the next guest that you want to see on the podcast?

00:36:38.240 I'm Drake.

00:36:38.780 Dave Bautista.

00:36:39.820 Dave Bautista.

00:36:40.940 I love Dave Bautista.

00:36:43.100 I DM'd him, actually.

00:36:44.720 Oh, yeah.

00:36:45.500 This was a big deal.

00:36:46.280 I DM'd him, and he said he was down to come on.

00:36:48.680 That's another MMA fighter?

00:36:50.200 No.

00:36:51.000 Wait, what?

00:36:52.000 Oh, he's a comedian.

00:36:53.200 He started In-N-Out?

00:36:55.460 So he found it In-N-Out.

00:36:56.900 and he's oh and the motivational speakers tony robbins guy i said i said batista massive fan 0.96

00:37:02.700 extending the invitation to come on our podcast shoot the shit and promote my spy or anything 0.73

00:37:05.840 else you're working on number one podcast in the world and that's facts nice said appreciate homie 0.99

00:37:09.840 rather just shoot the shit than promote anything i'm stuck up in toronto for a while but keep me 0.63

00:37:13.200 in mind for a slot yeah i'm just a big fan dude i i i like when people can evolve and adapt very 0.98

00:37:21.640 strategically and going from

00:37:23.020 WWE star, similar to The Rock actually

00:37:25.620 to quite literally being an Avenger

00:37:27.720 that's awesome to me

00:37:29.860 and he's an actor

00:37:31.280 is he an Avenger? He's in the Guardians of the Galaxy

00:37:33.180 alright, they are Avengers

00:37:35.320 right? No, I don't think so

00:37:37.520 I don't think they're officially on the team

00:37:38.320 I think they are

00:37:38.960 we could find out

00:37:40.960 I'm not that tight 0.97

00:37:42.020 this is actually a big fucking deal 0.95

00:37:44.160 are the Guardians of the Galaxy Avengers 0.97

00:37:45.640 technically speaking

00:37:47.300 the Guardians of the Galaxy are not in the Avengers 0.75

00:37:50.720 Damn, we're just mistakes. 0.97

00:37:51.980 This whole show is mistakes. 0.99

00:37:53.140 However, when Captain America said Avengers assemble,

00:37:57.000 they assembled.

00:37:58.820 We'll give them a pass, right?

00:38:00.420 They get the card, but they have to refund the subscription

00:38:02.920 at the end of the year, or resubscribe at the end of the year.

00:38:05.760 Is Dave Bautista from Toronto?

00:38:07.820 I don't know.

00:38:08.480 He's probably shooting a movie.

00:38:10.120 Because I said Drake.

00:38:11.080 That's funny.

00:38:11.960 You want Drake on the podcast?

00:38:13.360 I love that, dude.

00:38:14.380 I don't know if we can handle it.

00:38:17.100 We can handle it.

00:38:17.840 We can handle anything. 1.00

00:38:18.540 I just don't picture Drake driving to Encino and coming in like a garage of his fucking petty little bullshit house. 0.99

00:38:25.360 What if he flew here on Drake Air? 0.99

00:38:26.640 Air Drake.

00:38:27.280 Air Drake.

00:38:28.080 He just got his new palace in Toronto.

00:38:30.340 Have you seen his house?

00:38:30.800 It's crazy. 0.99

00:38:31.680 It's absolutely fucking insane. 0.71

00:38:32.760 You should actually pull that up. 0.97

00:38:33.640 That thing is a work of art.

00:38:35.660 It is a castle that was designed for complete luxury.

00:38:40.720 It was built just for him?

00:38:43.020 Like he had a...

00:38:46.160 There's a couple videos.

00:38:47.000 I've been watching the...

00:38:47.800 Oh, so it's literally a palace.

00:38:48.960 Oh, it's insane.

00:38:49.940 There's like a full, I don't know if it's an Olympic-sized swimming pool.

00:38:52.880 $100 million.

00:38:54.500 Yeah.

00:38:55.680 Wow.

00:38:56.300 It's wild.

00:38:56.780 They did a rap radar podcast from the inside.

00:38:59.640 There's a couple.

00:38:59.960 Oh, that was beautiful.

00:39:00.960 A couple videos of him walking around.

00:39:01.900 I don't know if I could live in a house like this, like a castle.

00:39:07.160 What is this style of architecture called?

00:39:09.920 It looks like deco.

00:39:11.440 Is it?

00:39:12.080 Unknown.

00:39:12.760 I don't know.

00:39:13.300 Still got to learn. 1.00

00:39:14.860 It's big baller shit. 1.00

00:39:15.980 It's the thing that makes you remember that there's levels to this. 1.00

00:39:19.380 They had to get a specific petition from the city to raise the walls on the outside

00:39:24.140 so the walls are taller than most walls in the neighborhood.

00:39:28.360 Really?

00:39:28.640 Yeah.

00:39:28.980 Like some crazy stuff, man.

00:39:30.160 Actually, you know what we're going to have on?

00:39:31.440 Rich the Kid. 1.00

00:39:32.340 Because he's in a big beef with 6ix9ine right now. 1.00

00:39:34.420 Let's have Rich the Kid on. 1.00

00:39:35.720 Is he?

00:39:36.240 Yeah, we could get Rich the Kid on.

00:39:37.880 All right. 0.80

00:39:38.320 Because our barber cuts his hair.

00:39:39.800 Really?

00:39:40.180 Yeah.

00:39:40.620 And BBDP again.

00:39:42.580 He works with him all the time.

00:39:43.760 He's just shooting a music video with him. 0.96

00:39:44.760 he can come on and talk shit and then 6ix9ine come on after 0.95

00:39:47.220 and I said I wouldn't be here for that show 0.99

00:39:49.140 and now I feel like I have to fucking stick to that 0.92

00:39:51.060 I can't believe what happened to this 1.00

00:39:52.800 6ix9ine thing we talk about it but I 1.00

00:39:54.860 keep thinking about how

00:39:56.720 like the

00:39:59.200 trade off of having that much

00:40:01.180 clout to not being able

00:40:03.220 to live like a full

00:40:04.880 life

00:40:06.200 I don't know man

00:40:08.660 bro he can't even donate

00:40:09.780 oh my god that's right his $200,000

00:40:12.820 donation rejected

00:40:14.200 to no kid no kid hungry and then he he tried to like shame them on his instagram which i had a

00:40:20.780 i actually had a um a comment drawn up uh and i was gonna post it and i was gonna say like dude 0.98

00:40:28.180 coming from some someone who's done some fuck shit you trying to donate to a charity and then 0.95

00:40:35.120 them refusing your donation and you calling them out and shaming them for refusing your donation 1.00

00:40:40.580 does not make you a good guy in fact it's quite the opposite like you how can he not understand 0.97

00:40:47.280 the fact that this charity does not want to take his like scum money well listen there's two there's 0.97

00:40:53.040 two parts this conversation there's a brand play on the part of there's a brand play on the part

00:40:59.040 of no kid hungry when they say yo listen we don't want money that could have potentially come from a

00:41:03.440 shitty place and then there's the people that are saying okay so you'd rather see kids go hungry as

00:41:07.400 a result of not accepting that that donation the issue is in this situation this was a brand

00:41:13.820 plan six nines part two you think why was he donating two hundred thousand because he's a

00:41:18.320 nice guy because he's a really nice guy and he really was doing it to start to rebuild his

00:41:24.240 his character but what if it was also a counter clout play by no kid hungry to gain instagram

00:41:30.920 followers they said we don't want your money because they knew it would blow up and now they

00:41:34.620 got the promotion and now they're doing six nine said what if what if what if someone else donates 0.98

00:41:40.580 the 200k what if we do it they probably wouldn't accept our shit either but uh yeah they would 0.98

00:41:45.900 i just put out a book about addiction and shit they'll take it oh true six nine said 1.00

00:41:49.700 bitch i am clout no kid hungry is clout in fact i think i think they got it backwards but this is 0.99

00:41:57.960 like you can't just throw money at your problems all the time you do this yeah i like to you do 0.99

00:42:02.980 this. You do it to Danny.

00:42:05.600 But she loves it, though.

00:42:06.900 If the person loves it, then it's fine.

00:42:08.760 I need this thing done.

00:42:11.240 Here's $20. And they're like,

00:42:12.900 okay, it's an easy thing. I just don't feel like fucking 0.99

00:42:14.900 doing it. Oh, $20? Yeah. Danny, 0.98

00:42:16.940 Danny, what's the lowest amount of money Mike's paid

00:42:18.960 you to do a menial task?

00:42:20.940 Probably $1.50. For what?

00:42:22.840 For God? Blessed

00:42:24.820 America. So ready for this?

00:42:26.440 What is it?

00:42:29.140 So let me get this straight. The following sentence

00:42:30.860 exited your mouth. Danny, I'll pay you

00:42:32.780 $1.50 if you run upstairs and get my phone.

00:42:35.100 And then the transaction occurred.

00:42:37.040 Well, there's actually one step that you missed.

00:42:39.220 I ask her for the price.

00:42:41.060 So I say, I need my phone from upstairs, and I can't

00:42:42.960 get it right now. I'm on a call or whatever. And I ask

00:42:44.860 her what her proposal is for the task.

00:42:47.540 And then I usually double it.

00:42:48.760 She's like, I'll do that for $0.75. I'll give

00:42:51.000 you $2. And then she goes up, she 0.99

00:42:52.840 gets it, and I've got more $2. She

00:42:54.660 racks up all these simple things. It's a really brotherly

00:42:56.860 calculation right here. He's trying to do this to me.

00:42:58.560 I gotta pay so much more

00:43:01.120 Logan I'll pay you $1500

00:43:02.480 If you give me the snacks from the cupboard

00:43:04.640 Okay so simple calculation $1.50 to go upstairs

00:43:07.100 Takes about a minute that's $90 an hour

00:43:09.260 That's what I'm saying

00:43:09.840 Technically it's a good deal 1.00

00:43:11.440 She does two of those she buys her Starbucks

00:43:14.900 No shame in my game bro

00:43:16.380 I just can't go up those stairs I'm too old 0.99

00:43:19.100 Too fucking old 1.00

00:43:20.580 I got all kinds of shit here man 1.00

00:43:22.860 Do guys suck at romance 1.00

00:43:24.000 Not all guys 0.99

00:43:26.320 Are they as good as girls 1.00

00:43:28.480 Here's who I asked. 1.00

00:43:29.440 Last night, my girlfriend said to me, babe, I'm going to get my period soon.

00:43:34.280 I really want chocolate.

00:43:35.920 And I know what kind of chocolate she likes. 0.98

00:43:38.160 She likes lint with a touch of sea salt chocolate.

00:43:40.620 They're like six bucks a pop.

00:43:42.020 Lint?

00:43:42.340 It's pretty, yeah, lint.

00:43:44.120 There's a D and a T.

00:43:45.120 Is that the brand?

00:43:46.220 Brand.

00:43:46.560 Okay.

00:43:47.040 And she watched my location, which, you know, she does.

00:43:49.840 As you know, she just sits at her house and just watches my dot move around.

00:43:52.720 That's what she does.

00:43:53.620 I'm her sim.

00:43:54.420 I'm her sim and her sim.

00:43:55.860 Both.

00:43:56.260 Both.

00:43:56.320 and she watched my location she watched me drive to three different places and she knew that i

00:44:05.220 stopped at different places on a mission to get her chocolate and when i showed up it wasn't with

00:44:09.440 one link chocolate bar it was with six and when i tell you there's no better way to change the mood

00:44:18.600 in a one-on-one love relationship than doing a kind yeah yeah good thing bro this girl was in 1.00

00:44:24.640 fucking go mode bro for the rest of the night like like i couldn't even just keep the fish off my 0.95

00:44:29.920 rod yeah i like it i just like i'm sorry i needed some sort of like way to do that but 0.97

00:44:36.320 i just are like should i be doing more yes probably uh no i mean i mean that's a nice

00:44:41.860 gesture dude you i'm i mean no that's a phenomenal you drove to three stores to buy chocolate

00:44:46.560 why but why not just one hold it because the other ones were out or closed and but the thing

00:44:51.740 is there are guys and girls watching this right now

00:44:53.740 that are like, is this kid serious? Is Logan serious

00:44:55.820 for even saying this?

00:44:57.880 Guys, even David,

00:44:59.640 the Austrian-German

00:45:01.800 guy that lives here, he's 0.99

00:45:03.660 been putting together picnics

00:45:05.380 for his girlfriend with whole

00:45:07.520 surprises that have

00:45:09.120 fine jewelry involved.

00:45:11.520 Is David a secret simp?

00:45:13.100 It's not a simp.

00:45:14.720 It's not a simp.

00:45:17.420 It's like a chivalry.

00:45:18.840 I think there's a cap.

00:45:20.600 I think there's a cap when you go from

00:45:22.360 good, nice, sweet, caring boyfriend

00:45:25.060 to simp. I think you can still be a simp 0.95

00:45:26.740 in a relationship. 0.98

00:45:27.920 If your man's is whipped,

00:45:30.580 which David is not,

00:45:33.200 I don't know.

00:45:34.600 Here's what I see David doing.

00:45:36.040 I see David as creating an experience for his girlfriend

00:45:39.040 all the time.

00:45:40.220 He likes to create a scene, likes to create a moment,

00:45:42.680 a good memory. He's a photographer.

00:45:44.360 Maybe this is coming from a place of inadequacy

00:45:46.840 because I know how much better

00:45:48.600 Dave is at this than me. 0.84

00:45:49.780 And it's unfortunate because your question, do guys suck at romance?

00:45:53.240 And you ask, is romance on the woman or the man?

00:45:58.560 To me, when I hear romance, I picture it as a man's responsibility.

00:46:04.860 Activate.

00:46:05.360 You know what I'm saying?

00:46:06.200 Rose petals, the wine, the candles.

00:46:08.680 And I walk off two podcasts, night shift, editing.

00:46:12.740 Do you mean you very similar?

00:46:14.120 Start at 8 a.m. and at 10 p.m.

00:46:15.540 And it's like, what can I muster up in the 10 minutes before my girlfriend gets here to make it seem like I've done anything here?

00:46:23.680 And it's and the candy bars were great, I guess.

00:46:26.260 I think I'll speak for myself.

00:46:27.680 I've done such a good job of setting the bar so low for myself in the courting process where it was just like, hey, Mike, you haven't called me in seven days and you're courting me.

00:46:40.140 What's good that now when I provide a candy bar, it's fireworks, which is I like.

00:46:45.540 where I'm at right now

00:46:46.360 because dude 0.55

00:46:46.860 if I fly her to Paris

00:46:48.200 it's a wrap bro

00:46:49.940 like if we go to Paris

00:46:51.160 and are eating baguettes

00:46:52.220 under the Mifel Tower

00:46:53.480 it's a wrap bro

00:46:54.980 and that will happen

00:46:56.600 that will happen

00:46:57.360 Amar Mabel

00:46:57.980 so Mike 1.00

00:46:58.640 maybe a better

00:46:59.500 Chicago

00:46:59.880 a better question

00:47:01.140 would be

00:47:01.700 are men less considerate

00:47:03.080 than women

00:47:03.560 in a relationship 0.73

00:47:04.500 yeah

00:47:05.220 also does it have to be

00:47:06.800 blue and pink

00:47:07.360 you know

00:47:08.520 black and white

00:47:09.040 yeah it goes both ways

00:47:09.660 you know

00:47:09.940 for sure

00:47:10.240 for sure

00:47:10.620 it's not for everyone

00:47:11.660 not everyone wants to be

00:47:12.440 a romantic person

00:47:13.420 I like it

00:47:14.480 it's good

00:47:15.000 I love the idea of

00:47:17.800 My partner making me want

00:47:20.100 To do nice things for them

00:47:21.180 Give and take

00:47:22.620 It's crazy

00:47:25.720 This is crazy

00:47:26.460 Are we becoming 0.61

00:47:28.560 Is this the beginning of the Wally life

00:47:31.040 When I want something

00:47:32.560 It's right next door

00:47:33.620 I see the McDonald's I want a coffee from

00:47:35.480 I call Postmates

00:47:36.860 Call them up

00:47:38.680 Bring them over

00:47:39.600 And I just see myself sitting there 0.98

00:47:42.120 Like the fat people 0.97

00:47:44.260 pull them up the fat people in the tube 0.99

00:47:46.320 yep yep floating around in the 0.77

00:47:47.880 chairs I the first time I watched this

00:47:50.220 movie I was in art class

00:47:51.540 and I remember seeing this scene about the fat people

00:47:54.220 in the chairs getting everything they need and everything

00:47:56.280 done by the floating screen in front of them and

00:47:58.160 thinking I look I know I'm

00:48:00.200 13 years old but this will happen

00:48:02.180 we gotta watch this movie again

00:48:03.780 this movie is phenomenal it's one of the best

00:48:06.320 movies ever incredible movie

00:48:08.080 dude they lose their bone

00:48:10.000 structure density they're just jello

00:48:12.240 jello humans and i feel i can relate to that when i need i need a coffee but i you're gonna go

00:48:19.300 downstairs and get in a car i call some guy and he shows up at the door like a magician 0.99

00:48:23.800 coffees for me and yeah instead of four dollars it costs 26 bucks it's the dumbest shit ever 0.99

00:48:30.980 you know how like big bosses or like ceos they don't they have people do things for them right 0.99

00:48:35.200 yeah does this uh postmate society give everyone the opportunity to have people

00:48:39.640 acting as agents for them meaning that they could spend more time on the things they love and less

00:48:45.280 time on uh not that's interesting that's an interesting question mac yeah because it's

00:48:51.360 almost like yo is it really just laziness or is it giving someone a little bit of a feeling of

00:48:56.140 power yo i'm gonna have my my like you could be you could be semi-broke and once once a week just

00:49:03.060 to treat yourself and be the big boss i'm gonna have my postmates man bring me my coffee now

00:49:08.140 and then go back to living in a refrigerator box.

00:49:10.860 Who knows?

00:49:11.940 But you could be that boss.

00:49:13.620 I never thought of it as a power, a sadomasochistic play.

00:49:16.940 Is Postmates an app that supports S&M?

00:49:21.960 Probably not.

00:49:22.900 You could consider that.

00:49:23.820 It might some way find its way to help, but probably not.

00:49:28.740 Also, the cost saving of getting in the car,

00:49:30.800 driving down the street to a Starbucks,

00:49:32.680 is it worth it for the $2.50 that you pay extra

00:49:36.780 on top of ordering your coffee in the morning

00:49:38.540 to have someone else go get it?

00:49:40.040 Or do you get in the car that you pay car insurance for

00:49:42.580 and put gas into and possibly get into an accident

00:49:45.680 and all those factors? 1.00

00:49:47.620 So you're just having someone else handle all the bullshit. 0.95

00:49:49.740 You have interesting ways of looking at things. 0.98

00:49:51.800 You really do.

00:49:52.560 He does.

00:49:53.500 Small people take shots at you.

00:49:55.720 They're not on your level. 0.99

00:49:56.900 Like when they shoot a butt? 0.98

00:49:58.740 Yeah, whatever. 0.94

00:49:59.820 Basketball.

00:50:00.780 People that you shouldn't be paying attention to,

00:50:02.840 but they gnaw at you.

00:50:03.840 They hate you. 1.00

00:50:04.460 They talk shit constantly on their shows, 1.00

00:50:06.160 on social media. I say this. I've said 1.00

00:50:08.120 this before. What do you do? Is this our conversation

00:50:10.220 we had this morning? How long do you

00:50:11.960 take it

00:50:13.960 before you fire back? I got this one guy

00:50:16.200 and I'm obviously not going to say anything about

00:50:18.180 him, but he is obsessed with me.

00:50:20.340 He loves me. He worships

00:50:22.520 me. Every show he makes has

00:50:24.300 to mention me. And he comments

00:50:26.380 on my Instagram pictures, bar faces

00:50:28.380 of me and my girlfriend.

00:50:30.120 And he's just, he's obsessed.

00:50:32.080 He's like a stalker, bro. He has to know

00:50:34.220 what's going on in the life of Big Mike and his videos

00:50:36.380 get his 8,000 views and 6,000

00:50:38.300 views and I just always

00:50:40.280 say to myself like why

00:50:41.540 Jay Z said in a song

00:50:43.700 a wise man 0.99

00:50:46.360 told me don't argue with fools 0.98

00:50:48.140 because people from a distance can't 0.99

00:50:50.460 tell who is who 1.00

00:50:51.520 so if you argue with a fool 1.00

00:50:54.440 you're just as 1.00

00:50:56.360 bad as them because you're standing there arguing 1.00

00:50:58.120 with a fucking dumbass bro 1.00

00:50:59.700 when an ant crawls on a wolf's leg 1.00

00:51:02.240 Do you think the wolf minds?

00:51:03.680 Do you think he pays attention?

00:51:04.720 He doesn't care 1.00

00:51:05.220 He continues being a fucking wolf 1.00

00:51:06.740 And eventually the ant is gonna die 1.00

00:51:08.520 And guess what?

00:51:09.540 The wolf's still gonna be a badass wolf 0.91

00:51:11.160 And then pee on him 1.00

00:51:12.040 And then

00:51:12.440 On the ant

00:51:13.580 That's true

00:51:14.920 Because that's what the wolf would do

00:51:16.140 The wolf would pee on the ant for sure

00:51:17.960 After he falls off his leg

00:51:19.180 And I'm sticking to this

00:51:21.220 You taught me this

00:51:21.840 And I've said this before

00:51:22.780 You taught me that early

00:51:23.620 Like yo you asked me about some of these people

00:51:26.840 And I

00:51:27.240 I know

00:51:28.040 I love you as a friend

00:51:29.000 But every time you do it

00:51:30.180 I go Mike

00:51:30.780 please come to me with real problems

00:51:33.220 he won't even

00:51:33.860 address me asking

00:51:36.120 and I snap at him

00:51:37.120 stop wasting your breath

00:51:40.520 for your sake

00:51:41.200 and then I said

00:51:43.500 come to me with some real problems

00:51:45.680 and then he does

00:51:46.420 this morning he was out of toilet paper

00:51:48.020 I gave him some good advice

00:51:49.040 use your hand

00:51:50.140 which was great and it worked

00:51:51.360 that's a real problem

00:51:52.240 I still haven't washed it 0.99

00:51:53.840 wait these jello people

00:51:55.620 I just want to say something

00:51:56.620 because speaking of jello

00:51:57.880 Evan told me something last night

00:51:59.520 that i found fascinating he certain foods make him uh gag like he can't eat certain foods because

00:52:06.100 of the mouth feel the texture oh what are they i can't eat pudding this is a thing yeah oh yeah

00:52:11.380 i can't eat mushrooms shut up consistency consistency it's a big it's a big thing

00:52:15.620 everybody watching mushrooms i get mushrooms i get why can't you eat pudding texture like just

00:52:20.880 in it's in my mouth it feels like it's suffocating me okay so evan was iterating the same thing but

00:52:25.520 He said, pudding, Jell-O, there was pudding, Jell-O, yogurt.

00:52:31.440 Cottage cheese, probably.

00:52:32.860 He made it seem like it chokes him, and he won't eat it for that reason.

00:52:39.160 I found this fascinating.

00:52:40.880 The texture of foods doesn't allow you to eat said food.

00:52:45.780 But he said he can eat mashed potatoes, and he himself wonders why.

00:52:50.840 Mashed potatoes have the little asterisks.

00:52:53.700 Warmth.

00:52:54.180 mashed potatoes are hard food to hate and that and that comes from someone who thoroughly dislikes

00:53:00.100 mashed potatoes and i i've i've taken a lot of heat for that my whole life i used to get bullied

00:53:04.520 on the playground because of it i'm not kidding i just never liked mashed potatoes i think it and

00:53:09.740 i hate to say this because my mom did really great in life and i think kind of and you know

00:53:14.240 like never and never gave up on me oh nice but mom and i know you're watching this because you 0.99

00:53:20.540 said i said fuck too many times yesterday and i did you your your mashed potatoes are fucking 0.99

00:53:25.760 mediocre i'm i don't know i don't know how to say it's though she knows this it's the one food she 0.99

00:53:30.980 makes because she's a great cook it's the one food she makes she doesn't put any kind of like

00:53:34.480 wait it's hard it's hard to make bad mashed potatoes it is it really is she just doesn't

00:53:39.820 i there's they have packets and boxes they're very easy but that's but that's why she does

00:53:45.340 the potatoes blends them oh she's a real cook my mom is is an a1 cook a1 chef at everything she

00:53:51.460 makes she has cream puff recipes in magazines but her mashed potatoes are simply potatoes mashed

00:53:57.220 that's it that's it and so when i eat them on it they're not that great and i so i fell in love

00:54:02.440 with a kid uh as a kid with french i fell in love with a kid oh no god dang it i fell in love

00:54:08.620 now on netflix speaking of falling in love with kids i fell in love as a kid with french fries

00:54:14.200 and that is why

00:54:15.400 In-N-Out

00:54:16.240 is rated at the bottom

00:54:17.220 of my mind

00:54:17.680 who's got the best fries

00:54:19.000 who's got the best fries

00:54:19.840 five guys

00:54:20.880 five guys

00:54:21.320 can you get your fries

00:54:22.280 game over

00:54:23.240 that's the right

00:54:23.720 best fry on the planet

00:54:24.840 I'll say it

00:54:26.060 I got other things

00:54:27.600 you told me to bring things today

00:54:28.700 yeah I like these

00:54:29.500 there's a doc

00:54:30.620 quickly

00:54:31.240 there's a doc on

00:54:32.260 Netflix

00:54:32.840 right now

00:54:33.660 called Have a Good Trip

00:54:34.720 and it is a

00:54:36.140 it is an hour and a half movie

00:54:38.660 interviewing celebrities

00:54:39.920 about their experiences

00:54:40.900 with acid mushrooms

00:54:41.960 and mescaline 0.94

00:54:43.660 and shit like that wow they got so many people they got everybody from anthony bourdain and 0.84

00:54:49.500 and uh asap asap rocky like all over the place they even got susan sarandon but they couldn't 0.98

00:54:54.400 they couldn't get permission from her to use it they got osby osborne he didn't give permission

00:54:57.820 so those people weren't didn't make it but this guy why would he say no uh he said no because he

00:55:02.600 didn't want like the idea of being in a drug movie just it's strictly about uh lsd and mushrooms and

00:55:10.660 I really want to watch it.

00:55:13.440 Even as someone in recovery,

00:55:15.300 I'm still mystified by psychedelics.

00:55:18.520 I always will be.

00:55:19.620 They're fascinating.

00:55:20.800 We could probably learn a lot about Uncle Tim in that one.

00:55:23.000 Tim Leary.

00:55:24.720 Probably.

00:55:26.460 Yep.

00:55:27.240 Traffic's back.

00:55:28.600 Is it?

00:55:29.280 Yep.

00:55:29.900 How long do we let traffic dictate our movement?

00:55:32.520 We have a problem in the city

00:55:35.680 and like other cities in the world

00:55:37.000 that tells me when I can and can't go places. 1.00

00:55:39.880 What the fuck? 0.99

00:55:40.660 that's the one thing quarantine's actually been nice for is is i know my drives are going to be 0.99

00:55:45.960 max 30 minutes to most places and and la traffic is some of the worst in the world

00:55:51.580 and it takes like hours to get home sometimes is that what you're saying it's back like that

00:55:55.680 i mean i took i was trying to get home today because i i uh every time i leave somewhere

00:56:01.100 with the desire to pee which as you know is always often i i always say to myself you got

00:56:06.940 it man you could hold it till you get to the next play i'm wrong every time i can't hold it i can't

00:56:10.540 I really got to go.

00:56:11.280 Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the highway and pee?

00:56:13.960 I just did it today on the way to the house.

00:56:15.420 You're lying.

00:56:15.900 I'm dead serious.

00:56:16.780 I pulled over and I found a little crevice and I peed.

00:56:18.900 And by the way, in this little crevice on the side of the highway, there was black gloves,

00:56:24.040 duct tape.

00:56:24.740 You're lying.

00:56:25.160 Dead serious. 0.87

00:56:26.140 And I was peeing on it.

00:56:28.080 I was peeing on black gloves, duct tape, a pearl, a little pearl.

00:56:30.980 You tampered with murder evidence.

00:56:32.640 Potentially.

00:56:33.140 Potentially. 1.00

00:56:33.820 And by the way, I could have potentially fucked myself. 1.00

00:56:37.420 I could have potentially just pissed on the rest of my life right there. 1.00

00:56:40.160 You just literally put your DNA on that.

00:56:42.180 We've got Mike's DNA in the crevice in the highway.

00:56:44.960 And a getaway car.

00:56:46.300 You're smart.

00:56:47.420 This is some sort of alibi, huh?

00:56:49.460 This is your alibi.

00:56:50.660 And so we can say like, no, he told us that he just peed on the gloves.

00:56:54.020 Oh, no.

00:56:55.480 Wow.

00:56:56.120 That's crazy.

00:56:56.880 Sometimes you can't hold it.

00:56:58.180 And it is one of the worst feelings in the world when you know you're going to explode

00:57:03.600 and you're stuck in traffic and you can't get out.

00:57:06.120 And one time I had to pull over.

00:57:07.480 uh i didn't have the luxury of going into a little like wooded crevice i had to go straight up side

00:57:14.340 of the highway not even a shoulder dude oh the small side yeah pull up because it was uh i thought

00:57:21.740 i was gonna explode yeah like really really explode today like actually lose all consistency

00:57:28.540 as a human and urine just shoots out in all directions that so that's i'm i'm not excited

00:57:33.420 to not being able to control my urine like when i when i'm older bladder too i have a massive

00:57:39.460 bladder i actually have a pet peeve of when people have to pee often i know all about it pet peeve 0.56

00:57:44.540 you hate it i just don't get it like we we you just peed we left and not 30 minutes later i have

00:57:50.920 someone telling me can we pull over i have to pee this is the look you get from me

00:57:54.220 my my favorite thing about logan and something that i've had to come to terms with

00:58:00.180 is how he doesn't get things

00:58:05.700 that are so cliche to not get.

00:58:08.380 So let's not, so let me, 0.92

00:58:09.360 this is a shitty example. 0.55

00:58:09.980 Let me bring it to another one, 0.61

00:58:11.100 but like the inability,

00:58:12.360 the ability to not pee.

00:58:13.820 Like, I don't know why I always have to pee,

00:58:16.000 but like, it's not,

00:58:16.800 I don't get it and you don't get it either,

00:58:18.520 but it's like one of those things

00:58:19.300 where it's like,

00:58:20.100 I love how you get mad about it.

00:58:22.060 You're like, why do you have to pee?

00:58:22.900 I'm like, I don't know.

00:58:23.840 Do you think I'm happy about this? 0.99

00:58:25.200 I got to fucking pee, bro. 0.99

00:58:26.940 No, because I just don't think you do. 1.00

00:58:28.400 well I mean

00:58:30.300 as funny as that is

00:58:31.620 your body isn't his body

00:58:32.840 and that's the empathy conversation I'm trying to have here

00:58:35.620 but I think he may have a point

00:58:36.760 maybe he's teaching me that I don't have to

00:58:38.800 but I think that listening to him on this one

00:58:41.300 could end up in a wet situation for me

00:58:43.540 one way to find out

00:58:45.200 I listen to Logan

00:58:46.120 he told me I didn't have to pee and I pissed all over myself

00:58:48.940 bro I would love to see you 0.99

00:58:51.480 pee your pants 0.99

00:58:52.200 that is

00:58:53.740 that would be really funny

00:58:55.680 well I'm just thinking about

00:58:59.500 I don't know if I can say this

00:59:00.760 what if it's in your car

00:59:01.380 Josie told me she has a problem 0.99

00:59:02.880 with pants peeing 1.00

00:59:04.340 well that 1.00

00:59:04.740 some girls do 1.00

00:59:05.800 when she's drunk 0.63

00:59:06.820 she said sometimes

00:59:07.980 she laughs so hard

00:59:09.040 that she can't control it

00:59:10.380 it happens

00:59:10.920 I didn't know this was a thing either

00:59:12.180 it happens

00:59:12.700 you laugh so hard

00:59:13.880 that your bladder just implodes

00:59:15.520 I don't understand

00:59:16.980 think of the old saying

00:59:17.940 I pissed my pants laughing

00:59:19.200 people say it

00:59:20.060 I was laughing so hard

00:59:20.660 I pissed my pants

00:59:21.340 and usually you're just saying it

00:59:22.680 but some people clearly

00:59:23.720 just actually yearnate

00:59:25.000 but what happens is there like a link between how hard you're laughing and a cap on your bladder like

00:59:30.660 what happens you know it's a muscle control so babies can't control their muscles that's why

00:59:37.980 they pee their pants exactly so so and i've told you in the past that josie is kind of a baby in 1.00

00:59:43.660 the relationship and that's how she pees her pants she's gonna kill you um someone last thing i got 0.97

00:59:51.000 last thing on my list some somebody asked me today where next and I love that question I know 0.92

00:59:57.420 people have asked you that question after your boxing match it after so many things after you

01:00:00.220 published this book where next as is evidenced by my vlog series and by my conversation on this show

01:00:07.740 I'm in love with one thing in this world more than anything else food I love food it makes my world

01:00:14.240 go around being an extra drug addict being someone who likes to travel and loves food

01:00:20.520 i would like to take over for anthony bourdain on no reservations i would like to be the new host

01:00:28.360 of no reservations my mother said to me but you you you know food but you kind of don't know food 0.69

01:00:33.060 and anthony bourdain was a fucking expert he's a chef yeah yeah yeah he was and so starting today 0.92

01:00:39.260 i'm gonna start studying food a little bit more you're lying yeah and i want to learn a little 0.97

01:00:44.340 bit more about the creation where stuff comes from i do i do decent with it but i need to

01:00:48.300 learn a lot more and maybe in 10 years you could talk well and you can describe things well so i

01:00:53.060 think as long as you're able to taste the food and know what flavors and textures you're getting

01:00:57.560 into and why it was cooked some way you could really do a good job with that you know food

01:01:01.620 like that like sweet salty savory he's good man flavors herbs so here's the thing i can call some

01:01:08.260 of them out now but remember when you

01:01:10.040 found out you loved fighting

01:01:12.340 like boxing you didn't know

01:01:14.340 fighting but you loved it enough to

01:01:16.240 know that you would be good at knowing it

01:01:18.340 do you know what I'm saying like you're like yo I love this

01:01:20.320 so much that this could be my craft

01:01:21.960 and I look at food like that bro

01:01:24.160 I literally love food it makes me

01:01:26.140 so happy and feel so fulfilled so

01:01:27.940 we'll see cute cakes coming

01:01:30.180 soon 0.92

01:01:30.640 cute cakes

01:01:34.440 yeah what's your

01:01:35.840 what's your guilty pleasure probably uh i was gonna say nah my knee-jerk reaction like before 0.96

01:01:46.480 you even finish that sentence was jerking off upside down as like a joke but it wasn't funny

01:01:51.060 that's why i didn't say it and now that me explaining is almost even worse so is it something

01:01:55.820 that you've done no no i that's the worst part i've ever even done it that's why it wasn't there's

01:02:00.200 no truth to it there's no what i actually have right here is what's your silent obsession so

01:02:03.940 like that maybe that'd be now has to be quiet it doesn't have to be silent you just don't talk

01:02:07.340 about it it's kind of like guilty oh silence on your side oh oh silent obsession that's a good

01:02:12.880 question mark i gotta i gotta please don't call mark sorry mark i uh but one of mine is is a large

01:02:20.460 chunk like a really big chunk of well breaded and well lubed up buffalo chicken like a big

01:02:27.760 buffalo chicken patty yeah you know what i'm saying just covered in buffalo chicken with

01:02:32.020 the blue cheese or ranch if you're a ranch person on the side.

01:02:35.020 That's one of them.

01:02:36.640 I think black Labrador puppies are great.

01:02:40.620 I love a three-quarters stuffed pillow that's still cool at the top.

01:02:45.080 When you lay down, it's still cool to the touch.

01:02:47.760 And I don't think anybody likes or could possibly dislike going up or down on elevators.

01:02:55.980 On what type?

01:02:56.980 On elevators.

01:02:58.000 Just going up and down.

01:02:58.920 And big, big elevators.

01:02:59.960 High rise.

01:03:00.260 That freaks some people out.

01:03:01.260 Yeah.

01:03:01.480 There's been some horrifying elevator accidents.

01:03:06.340 What?

01:03:06.940 I don't know.

01:03:07.560 I'm just sorry.

01:03:09.200 I can't.

01:03:09.720 That makes me sad, but laughing sad. 0.63

01:03:12.420 Mike, there was a woman.

01:03:13.140 It's such a great thing.

01:03:14.000 You go so high up.

01:03:14.760 There was a woman who got severed in half.

01:03:16.120 I saw that.

01:03:17.040 I saw that.

01:03:17.900 God dang it. 1.00

01:03:18.760 She got severed in half because the elevator dropped. 1.00

01:03:22.300 Bing. 0.89

01:03:23.480 There were people in that elevator.

01:03:25.380 Do you know how long it took the paramedics to arrive to get the people who were alive

01:03:31.220 out of the elevator

01:03:32.060 with a half body. 1.00

01:03:35.300 So I'm going to have to 1.00

01:03:37.000 say no on the last one.

01:03:38.960 Okay, maybe personally,

01:03:39.960 all right.

01:03:41.500 Universally, no.

01:03:42.220 But universally,

01:03:42.960 probably not.

01:03:44.680 It's his.

01:03:46.180 Escalators?

01:03:47.220 That's fine.

01:03:47.700 No, no, no.

01:03:48.200 What are you obsessed with?

01:03:50.120 That's just the thing you like.

01:03:51.400 What do you go to

01:03:52.360 and you're like,

01:03:52.780 I need to do this?

01:03:53.680 Disc golf for me.

01:03:54.720 I want to throw a frisbee

01:03:55.940 into a little hut.

01:03:57.760 I want to throw a frisbee.

01:03:58.780 I told you,

01:03:59.440 you know,

01:04:00.040 and this is such a sad thing for me

01:04:01.940 the week leading into your

01:04:04.240 birthday when I was thinking about the shrimp

01:04:05.980 I told you I was going to get

01:04:08.300 you the disc golf game

01:04:09.800 Danny you remember this and I said

01:04:12.000 should I just get him the disc golf game instead of the

01:04:14.120 shrimp and it was this beautiful $150

01:04:15.700 chained up disc golf and 0.88

01:04:17.980 mother freaking Amazon 0.91

01:04:19.720 pandemic delay couldn't get it 1.00

01:04:22.140 to me on time so I bought him a piece of shit 0.99

01:04:24.060 reptile shrimp fish 0.99

01:04:25.560 and he almost killed me he wanted to shoot me in the

01:04:28.120 face because of it

01:04:29.180 Yeah, I love disc golf, man.

01:04:31.520 The way the Frisbees fly through the air

01:04:32.860 and hit the chain link.

01:04:34.820 What about you, Mac? 1.00

01:04:36.320 Mine is making jewelry for women.

01:04:40.120 Ah, have you done that?

01:04:41.860 Yeah, I have a couple.

01:04:43.240 I have a pair of owl feather earrings I've made,

01:04:45.480 blue jay feather earrings.

01:04:47.240 Where do you get the feathers?

01:04:48.820 I find them on the ground.

01:04:49.880 You find owl feathers on the ground?

01:04:51.180 I was in Michigan.

01:04:52.260 I found these owl feathers,

01:04:53.620 gave them to my friend Aaron,

01:04:54.420 beautiful earrings.

01:04:56.120 There's some on the spinner van,

01:04:58.060 if you want from when the owl hit it.

01:04:59.560 I don't want to use those. These are like the nice

01:05:01.880 plumage ones. Those ones are nice.

01:05:04.080 Can I replace the elevator

01:05:06.020 just with a fresh glass

01:05:08.220 of pink lemonade

01:05:09.320 and the mixture

01:05:12.260 of the smell of freshly cut grass and

01:05:14.100 lavender. I've told you guys that I enjoy lavender.

01:05:16.440 So just like those, take the 1.00

01:05:18.060 elevator, the half woman, out of the equation. 1.00

01:05:20.500 That should have never happened. 1.00

01:05:21.920 I still, I feel bad.

01:05:23.880 Wait, was that a Houdini trick or was that?

01:05:25.620 No it really happened bro 1.00

01:05:26.740 She got fucking sliced bro 0.99

01:05:28.520 So now Mike your marginalized people are 1.00

01:05:30.700 Oh my god 1.00

01:05:32.200 Add him to the list

01:05:33.900 So Mike we've been collecting a list of

01:05:36.640 Really extremely marginalized people

01:05:39.120 That have cancelled Mike

01:05:40.140 People that have been cut in half

01:05:43.120 By elevators one

01:05:43.960 People who have been abducted by monkeys

01:05:46.260 And people who have 0.99

01:05:48.760 Women who have 1.00

01:05:50.400 Barbie vaginas 1.00

01:05:52.580 No holes 1.00

01:05:54.000 And eventually, so that's three

01:05:56.580 Eventually there's going to be a handful of these people

01:05:58.600 Who are going to come after you Mike

01:05:59.840 So just be careful because your marginalized groups 1.00

01:06:02.720 Are getting 1.00

01:06:03.220 Macro in numbers

01:06:05.380 I also feel like great grandmothers that have been abducted by aliens

01:06:08.720 Should be a part of that too

01:06:09.820 Because I discounted Mac's story about his great aunt

01:06:12.560 Was it your great aunt?

01:06:13.520 Great grandma

01:06:14.020 That's another one

01:06:16.520 People are dying to hear this story

01:06:18.520 I thought this was a joke the whole time

01:06:21.180 Me too and that's why we interrupted him 0.99

01:06:22.660 I thought he was fucking around. 0.99

01:06:24.180 Wait, your mom's mom? 1.00

01:06:26.180 My mom's grandma.

01:06:27.680 Okay, so you're a great-grandma.

01:06:29.700 She's still alive?

01:06:30.720 No, she passed.

01:06:31.300 Okay, and she's been abducted by aliens?

01:06:35.780 According to legend, yeah.

01:06:38.460 She lived in Pennsylvania, in the middle of absolutely nowhere.

01:06:43.500 And her claim was that at some point in her life,

01:06:47.120 she had been abducted by aliens.

01:06:48.600 I don't know all of the story.

01:06:50.880 I have to really get some more information on that.

01:06:52.480 But, yeah, she was abducted.

01:06:54.640 And what that means for me is that if someone in your family gets abducted by aliens in your lineage, they're absolutely injected with DNA.

01:07:02.280 Okay.

01:07:02.740 Without a doubt. 0.87

01:07:03.540 They took something and they injected it in her. 0.71

01:07:05.920 Which means, obviously, as people in my family get born, they're part alien.

01:07:11.120 So, technically, like one, I think it's like 216th alien.

01:07:16.120 So, your pilgrimage wasn't to Plymouth Rock.

01:07:18.580 It was to Earth from another planet.

01:07:20.580 Of course. 0.99

01:07:20.920 You're an alien pilgrim.

01:07:22.480 I don't doubt that.

01:07:25.660 And sorry to all the people that we cut off that beautiful story

01:07:27.940 because I honestly didn't believe,

01:07:29.120 I didn't think he was serious that first time.

01:07:31.000 I mean, I still don't.

01:07:33.140 I still don't.

01:07:34.020 I mean, what's good, Mac?

01:07:35.460 You can't just, no details?

01:07:38.180 I mean, they've been kind of locked up by the government for a long time.

01:07:40.640 I believe them.

01:07:41.580 I'm sorry.

01:07:42.020 I have to.

01:07:42.700 He's a good guy.

01:07:43.480 What about your grandmother?

01:07:44.840 Well, there's a reason why she passed away.

01:07:47.660 Old age, disease, natural illness, cause? 0.95

01:07:50.000 Anal probe? 0.93

01:07:50.480 you know kind of just happened

01:07:53.060 slowly but

01:07:55.240 she passed away I think it might have been a government

01:07:57.060 ploy to silence her

01:07:58.200 it's tricky for any aliens 0.97

01:08:01.320 watching this podcast and I know you do

01:08:02.980 feel free to come down

01:08:05.080 we're ready just come

01:08:06.000 not in that way

01:08:08.060 or

01:08:09.740 I mean you've specifically

01:08:13.080 said that if it

01:08:15.200 means you get to get a ride to like another

01:08:17.020 solar system that you're 0.66

01:08:19.100 your own anus is open for business i'm i'm most things are open to be for business like 0.76

01:08:24.960 if if the aliens need a limb a strong opinion a couple teeth to fuel their spaceship back to 0.99

01:08:37.160 their own planet take mine i don't i i'm serious take mine okay don't don't don't kill me that'd 0.99

01:08:42.820 be fucked up but take take what you need from me but what do you get out of it a ride to oh you go 0.99

01:08:48.080 Oh, you go. 1.00

01:08:48.720 Okay, you go.

01:08:49.420 Okay, that's what I thought.

01:08:50.440 Yeah, hell yeah. 0.81

01:08:50.800 Remember Xenon Girl of the 21st Century? 0.56

01:08:52.680 Yeah.

01:08:53.060 Disney Channel movie? 1.00

01:08:54.120 She was bad. 1.00

01:08:55.320 She was bad, yeah. 1.00

01:08:56.600 Alien bitches are bad. 1.00

01:08:58.040 But I have a girlfriend. 1.00

01:08:59.480 Now I'm not interested in no interstellar bullshit. 0.99

01:09:00.760 Wait, hold on a second. 0.98

01:09:01.600 We've not talked yet about interplanetary cheating.

01:09:04.960 Is that...

01:09:05.600 Because there's a lot of...

01:09:06.820 We shouldn't get into this today.

01:09:08.320 Because I know he's moving towards a rap here, but...

01:09:11.400 Interplanetary cheating?

01:09:13.340 No way.

01:09:14.640 Interdimensional cheating?

01:09:15.680 That's where lines get blurred.

01:09:17.000 people a lot of people have

01:09:18.660 not a lot of people but some people have a zip code

01:09:21.180 rule it was in the movie role models that

01:09:23.140 Michael Scott Sean

01:09:25.040 Michael whatever that dude's name was

01:09:26.440 was that it was not allowed to cheat on his

01:09:29.080 girlfriend in the 902 error code

01:09:30.980 but when he goes out he's free to move

01:09:33.100 about the cabin I don't think that works I know

01:09:35.000 but but but everybody has a different

01:09:36.920 and some people give hall passes for celebrities 0.61

01:09:38.920 if my girl fell in love with

01:09:40.980 an alien like really in love

01:09:43.220 and they had some sort of

01:09:44.980 affair. I don't know if I could be that

01:09:47.340 mad at her. I really, you know,

01:09:49.520 especially if they're more advanced than us.

01:09:52.240 If this alien 1.00

01:09:53.500 is a G and he deserves 1.00

01:09:55.180 a queen, you know,

01:09:57.580 and he could provide for her better than me, sure.

01:10:00.220 You're not going down easy.

01:10:01.620 I hope not. Well, I'm trying to fight

01:10:03.440 him, but giving him a pass, I'd probably lose.

01:10:05.920 Or at least get a draw.

01:10:07.760 Let me say something

01:10:09.380 on this. I like to believe,

01:10:11.500 just like any other guy should believe, that they 1.00

01:10:13.340 have the hottest girl in the fucking world. 0.99

01:10:14.980 if you put me in front of 1.00

01:10:17.420 that blue woman from X-Men, 0.95

01:10:20.360 you know Nemo who I'm talking about? 0.99

01:10:23.780 The blue lake.

01:10:24.400 Mystique.

01:10:24.920 Mystique.

01:10:25.520 You put me in front of Mystique,

01:10:28.260 and not the actress who plays her, 0.82

01:10:29.780 but the one that's able to shapeshift 0.99

01:10:31.120 into a scientist at the lab

01:10:32.620 that they're trying to save Magneto from,

01:10:36.380 or whatever his name is, Magneto.

01:10:39.060 Or no, they would try to kill.

01:10:39.860 Wait, so Mystique can change into anyone, though. 0.99

01:10:42.600 Please pull her up. 0.98

01:10:43.040 Please pull her up.

01:10:43.660 So are you cheating with the blue mystique? 0.97

01:10:47.040 Or what she changes into someone else?

01:10:49.100 No, no, no. 0.88

01:10:49.400 Blue mystique.

01:10:50.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:10:51.680 Dude, she, come on. 1.00

01:10:53.920 Yeah, see, that's... 1.00

01:10:54.720 Come on, dude.

01:10:55.980 That's tricky. 1.00

01:10:56.660 I probably still wouldn't because she's blue in his scales,

01:10:59.520 but I do hear your point.

01:11:01.080 Because here's the biggest question.

01:11:05.420 Are these people, whether they're aliens, mutants,

01:11:08.980 robots from the future, whatever,

01:11:10.560 are they able to do things to please you in a way that no human can like is she able to insert a 0.86

01:11:19.180 blue tentacle into your brain stem and make you feel the most furious orgasm that is worth a 0.96

01:11:26.400 hundred years of orgasms in one sitting yes she is why do you think she's friends with magneto 1.00

01:11:33.240 he can't even get his dick hard he's 90 but she inserts her vagina into his brain stem 1.00

01:11:38.840 and make some hard, like, blue chew. 1.00

01:11:40.920 Why do you think she's blue?

01:11:42.680 Why do you think she's blue?

01:11:44.420 That's incredible.

01:11:45.060 Yeah, dude.

01:11:45.920 That's amazing.

01:11:46.760 I think we end there.

01:11:49.360 Thanks for watching this episode of Impulsive.

01:11:51.400 It's, you know, it is weird.

01:11:52.960 Quarantine's weird.

01:11:53.600 We got three more months, I guess, in L.A. County.

01:11:56.060 So we'll be here more.

01:11:58.060 Subscribe.

01:11:59.340 See you next time.

01:12:00.980 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

01:12:03.480 We have a new podcast.

01:12:04.840 It's called Don't Lie to Me.

01:12:06.220 I'm Lexi Iwano.

01:12:07.140 We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

01:12:11.600 And I'm Lacey DiGiulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references,

01:12:15.980 occasionally different opinions.

01:12:17.320 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

01:12:20.160 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes, Good Taste is my business.

01:12:25.300 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:12:29.500 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast.

01:12:37.760 The true crime comedy podcast, all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

01:12:42.160 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

01:12:44.040 Ooh, I scammed them.

01:12:45.220 What?

01:12:45.680 I could talk to you for an hour.

01:12:47.220 You're a generational yapper, like me.

01:12:49.240 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

01:12:51.220 And now you can catch full episodes of my show on YouTube.

01:12:54.080 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:13:24.080 he gets right up next to the microphone i hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other

01:13:29.740 you never seen italy so quiet as when the pope gets up to wink on halloween listen to artists

01:13:36.020 on artists on artists on artists every thursday on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever

01:13:41.180 you get your podcasts i'm hamza and i'm martin and we're the hosts of out of character the best

01:13:45.760 podcast in the world it's really funny and a good time really yeah yeah i think statistics just came

01:13:51.340 back and we're one of the funniest two guys with mics and that's pretty hard to beat right now but

01:13:56.200 it's true actually why should people listen to us tell them well we're trendy we're funny we're 0.98

01:14:00.840 topical you get all your news here not you know the facts but maybe our takes on it um and

01:14:05.900 everything in between so listen out of character on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever

01:14:11.040 you get your podcasts

Impaulsive with Logan Paul - May 14, 2020

E184 Logan Paul VS. Dolan Dennis VS. Henry Cejudo VS. Ryan Garcia - IMPAULSIVE EP. 184

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