Impaulsive with Logan Paul - E264 Chris Distefano： Try Not To Laugh

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00:00:30.900 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

00:00:33.460 We have a new podcast.

00:00:34.880 It's called Don't Lie to Me.

00:00:36.260 I'm Lexi Iwanu.

00:00:37.420 We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

00:00:41.400 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one,

00:00:43.740 which means we have wildly different references,

00:00:46.000 occasionally different opinions.

00:00:47.240 And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

00:00:50.080 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes,

00:00:52.880 Good Taste is my business.

00:00:55.300 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

00:00:58.200 or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:00.000 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator,

00:01:05.480 and host of Scam Goddess Podcast.

00:01:07.780 The true crime comedy podcast, all about robbery, fraud,

00:01:10.980 and those who practice it.

00:01:12.160 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

00:01:14.060 Ooh, I scammed them.

00:01:15.240 What?

00:01:15.700 I could talk to you for an hour.

00:01:17.240 You're a generational yapper, like me.

00:01:19.240 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

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00:01:24.520 Start listening to Scam Goddess on the iHeartRadio app,

00:01:27.480 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:30.000 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana, Jeremy Colhane, Patrick McDonald, and we're

00:01:36.860 the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast, the Improvised Character

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00:01:46.160 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants.

00:01:49.240 And we do a little Halloween sometimes.

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00:02:05.220 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:02:12.580 I tweeted something out the other day and people were yelling at me. 0.98

00:02:14.540 I said, if I was President Joe Biden, the first thing I'd do is I'd make AOC the head of the CIA because nobody looks to phones like Puerto Rican women.

00:02:22.900 And people started. 1.00

00:02:29.740 oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah welcome back to impulsive the number one podcast in the world

00:02:43.320 and by the way i've been saying it for some time now i say it every episode

00:02:47.520 i really do believe we're the number one podcast in the world i'm not kidding i'm so proud of us

00:02:54.420 it's a really fun show

00:02:57.100 us as hosts

00:02:58.500 we love doing it

00:02:59.300 I do anyways

00:03:00.000 Mike does

00:03:00.620 I don't know about you

00:03:01.840 but I feel like

00:03:02.700 I'm not sure either

00:03:03.880 ask that question

00:03:05.080 good momentum

00:03:06.540 yeah no

00:03:07.560 we have a lot of it right now

00:03:08.720 we've been shooting

00:03:09.300 10 episodes this week

00:03:10.940 we have slated

00:03:11.740 and been knocking them out

00:03:13.300 I've been having so much fun

00:03:14.360 some great guests

00:03:15.240 and another great one today

00:03:17.220 so just proud of us

00:03:18.080 proud of the show

00:03:18.660 obviously thank you to everyone

00:03:19.740 for listening

00:03:20.160 viewing

00:03:20.580 subscribing

00:03:21.840 hitting that like button

00:03:22.820 every time

00:03:23.280 commenting down below

00:03:24.180 We appreciate you guys

00:03:25.040 We really do

00:03:25.560 And I really do mean that

00:03:26.760 This is a

00:03:27.740 This is longevity

00:03:29.280 This podcast

00:03:29.920 I'll be doing this

00:03:30.700 Till the day that I croak

00:03:32.360 Good

00:03:33.040 And yeah

00:03:33.980 Yeah yeah

00:03:34.600 A lot of room for growth here still

00:03:35.840 Three more years

00:03:36.440 Don't say that

00:03:38.160 Wow

00:03:38.440 Don't say that

00:03:40.380 Three more years

00:03:41.020 Just imagine

00:03:42.200 God forbid

00:03:42.820 I'll be at his funeral

00:03:43.480 Like oh my god

00:03:44.100 I feel like I have

00:03:44.760 Like I took responsibility for that

00:03:46.380 They like clip it

00:03:47.760 Bring it back

00:03:48.520 They're going to

00:03:49.640 I want you to know that

00:03:50.840 Everything you say in the show

00:03:52.160 Will live forever

00:03:53.680 because you know not this huh what they're probably gonna make nfts out of some of it

00:03:59.580 to be honest with you hey speaking of nfts bro no please no i should have said it i'm so sorry

00:04:04.460 i'm so sorry i just want to say no listen no we have a we have a group chat it's called bitcoin

00:04:09.580 boys and uh you know a roommate has a good pick they send it to the group and evan had a

00:04:16.700 evan had a pick of the week i mean this this coin this particular token i think 3x 4x in value it's

00:04:23.080 BNT, Bancor Network token.

00:04:25.120 Now you just made it go up even more.

00:04:26.720 No, no, no, because I'm not plugging it.

00:04:27.780 We didn't buy it.

00:04:29.320 We don't own any of it at all.

00:04:31.480 He told us about it at like $2.80.

00:04:34.420 And listen, there's like people in the Bitcoin Boys group chat that are like trusted resources for coin-related news.

00:04:41.280 Evan ain't exactly one of them.

00:04:42.640 He's kind of just like, he's in there.

00:04:44.120 He sometimes says, guys, everything's crashing.

00:04:46.900 Get out now.

00:04:48.020 Like things will drop by like 10%.

00:04:49.480 He freaks out.

00:04:50.280 But on this one day, he dropped this thing.

00:04:52.040 He's like, yo, BNT, I'm getting very trusted resources that are telling me BNT is the wave.

00:04:57.480 And we're like, yeah, yeah, sure.

00:04:58.400 Whatever you say, Evan.

00:05:00.100 Go back to playing GTA.

00:05:00.920 Go play some Grand Theft Auto upstairs, all right?

00:05:03.520 This thing, moonshot, dude.

00:05:06.140 280, 540, 620, 730. 0.99

00:05:09.020 And me and Logan, and the way I am on shit like this, if I don't buy it low when you first tell me about it, I ain't ever buying that shit. 0.99

00:05:16.240 I don't care if you fucking tell me it's going to do another 100X out of pride. 0.99

00:05:19.180 If I don't get in early 0.99

00:05:20.540 And I watch other people making money

00:05:21.940 I'm like nah

00:05:22.460 I'm straight

00:05:23.320 Not me

00:05:23.820 Don't want it

00:05:24.300 You'll never buy it

00:05:25.400 You'll never get me in now

00:05:26.680 It's too late for me dog

00:05:28.120 You got me looped in today bro 1.00

00:05:29.740 I literally got sucked into your stupid fucking Grand Theft Auto videos 1.00

00:05:33.160 Bro I watched you live a fake life 1.00

00:05:36.000 So entertained

00:05:36.860 They're crushing

00:05:37.460 They're crushing

00:05:38.480 You went to a yacht

00:05:39.380 No you did not

00:05:40.360 I swear to God

00:05:41.020 Georgie

00:05:41.400 I went in there to see if I could

00:05:43.360 You know

00:05:43.840 See what's going on in Mike's life

00:05:45.760 You know

00:05:46.000 He's my friend

00:05:46.880 I want to see what's going on

00:05:47.780 and just in case if he asks me if I watch his videos

00:05:50.700 I want to say yes

00:05:51.380 not those on my second channel

00:05:53.620 ask me anything in your last video

00:05:57.060 I'll say it word for word

00:05:58.880 he couldn't swim but he jumped over

00:06:01.200 a guy grabbed him by his neck

00:06:02.660 you thought he was drowning and wasn't 0.79

00:06:04.160 he was taken to a boat full of girls 1.00

00:06:06.240 then a fucking paparazzi 1.00

00:06:09.520 guy not pulled out a gun 0.99

00:06:10.900 a camera everybody started beating him up

00:06:13.420 I was sitting here going

00:06:15.500 this is amazing

00:06:17.160 And then if they walk too far away, you would just hear them stop talking.

00:06:20.760 They'd be like, yeah, so then he was.

00:06:22.500 Because why?

00:06:23.340 It's like close range.

00:06:24.360 Proximity chat.

00:06:25.180 So when you get close to people, you can talk to them like in real life.

00:06:27.520 But when you walk away from them, you can't hear them anymore.

00:06:29.400 GTA role-playing.

00:06:30.660 Things on Twitch, they heat up for a little bit.

00:06:33.380 They get hot.

00:06:33.920 They get hot like it was Among Us.

00:06:35.600 Then it switched back to Call of Duty for a little bit.

00:06:37.480 Now it's GTA role-playing with Aiden Ross and Tee Grizz and all these guys on GTA.

00:06:42.100 It is so fun, so fun to watch.

00:06:44.160 And it automatically creates videos.

00:06:45.880 That's the thing.

00:06:46.300 When I Twitch stream

00:06:47.480 I love it

00:06:47.940 Because it's so efficient

00:06:48.820 I don't have to concept

00:06:49.920 Nothing for the second channel

00:06:51.000 They just clip it

00:06:51.880 Put it together

00:06:52.380 Into a nice video

00:06:53.020 And George Janko watches it

00:06:54.300 It's great

00:06:54.980 I'm not gonna lie

00:06:55.620 It's really good

00:06:56.280 Yeah

00:06:57.080 Find something better

00:06:57.840 To do with your time

00:06:58.500 Wow

00:06:58.920 Our guest today

00:06:59.520 Is a comedian

00:07:00.220 A writer

00:07:01.000 An actor

00:07:01.700 You've seen him on MTV's

00:07:02.700 God Code

00:07:03.080 His Comedy Central

00:07:03.680 Stand Up Special

00:07:04.300 And soon as host

00:07:05.460 Of True TV's

00:07:06.240 Backyard Bar Wars

00:07:07.280 It's Chris DiStefano

00:07:08.660 Yes

00:07:09.440 It's Chris DiStefano

00:07:10.580 Everyone

00:07:10.900 Chris

00:07:11.500 Chris

00:07:12.020 Chris

00:07:12.580 Chris

00:07:12.980 Chris

00:07:13.580 Chris

00:07:14.120 Chris

00:07:14.140 Chris

00:07:14.160 Chris

00:07:14.180 Chris

00:07:14.200 Can I ask you

00:07:14.660 One question

00:07:15.160 Yes

00:07:15.640 Are you ready for this?

00:07:16.660 I'm ready for this.

00:07:21.520 You didn't ask it right.

00:07:23.020 Yeah, I don't know what happened.

00:07:23.920 I just went with it.

00:07:24.780 I feel like this is no headphones versus headphones.

00:07:27.320 You do historically not wear headphones on pods?

00:07:30.160 I'll do, like, whatever, but I just realized that, like,

00:07:33.120 it's the headphones versus no headphones, guys, right now.

00:07:35.340 I don't feel like I have a great headphone, you know, head.

00:07:38.440 I think, well, because you have really nice hair that I want to keep up.

00:07:41.780 I use no balding stuff.

00:07:43.780 This is just natural hair, dude.

00:07:44.960 Yeah, I got a lot of hair in there, but I don't have pubes

00:07:47.660 I don't grow pubes at all 0.97

00:07:48.820 You're lying through the skin of your teeth

00:07:50.660 Did you laser them?

00:07:51.860 No, dude, I just don't

00:07:53.020 And I don't grow leg hair

00:07:55.260 What are you talking about?

00:07:56.540 I swear to God, dude, I'm hairless

00:07:58.620 I'm like a sphinx besides my head

00:08:00.620 That's why I'm Chrissy the Sphinx back in Brooklyn

00:08:03.000 He has no leg hair

00:08:05.180 You got no leg hair?

00:08:06.520 No, no, no, no, no, no

00:08:07.400 Why is his teeth so white?

00:08:10.780 What's up with this kid's teeth, bro?

00:08:12.120 Your teeth too 1.00

00:08:13.120 What the fuck is going on? 1.00

00:08:14.960 Do I? You gave them both. No, your teeth are not great. 1.00

00:08:18.840 But I mean, this kid's teeth is just one of those things.

00:08:21.420 I was like, am I having a stroke? Wait, hold on.

00:08:24.160 You can't have white teeth like that in 2021. It's too white.

00:08:27.380 I've never had any braces, whitening, nothing. 0.99

00:08:29.460 Your teeth are insane, dude. You know what's funny?

00:08:32.900 Do you want to hang out or what? I mean, you're hairless.

00:08:36.020 I feel like you're kind of throwing a vibe at me. I'm a hairless.

00:08:39.560 Look, his kid's teeth are wild. Yeah, he got great teeth. He's good looking.

00:08:43.760 I feel like if I whitened them, it'd be like burning magnesium.

00:08:46.180 Listen, first of all, you're all good looking.

00:08:48.900 Okay, let's be honest.

00:08:50.380 We know, we know. 1.00

00:08:50.720 You're all hotties. 0.97

00:08:51.600 No, we know. 1.00

00:08:52.420 Yes.

00:08:52.920 The lights. 1.00

00:08:53.820 I mean, it would have been nice, but fuck the lights. 1.00

00:08:56.520 She's like... 1.00

00:08:57.240 Yeah.

00:08:58.420 Thanks for coming on our podcast.

00:08:59.880 I appreciate you having me.

00:09:01.000 I really do.

00:09:01.600 Do you have a podcast?

00:09:02.580 I do.

00:09:02.880 I have a podcast.

00:09:03.480 I have one podcast called Chrissy Chaos, where we go wild.

00:09:06.140 We just interviewed my wife's transgender uncle who just got out of prison.

00:09:10.740 Shout out TT Jerry. 1.00

00:09:11.520 Is that what's...

00:09:12.440 Dude, he blew something.

00:09:13.760 to sam in prison this is what's on your instagram yeah i mean dude this kid first of all this guy

00:09:18.280 tt i'm all i go to patreon.com slash christy comedy that's my patreon behind the paywall

00:09:23.800 stuff the proceeds were going to tt um since he got out of prison he's not getting his estrogen

00:09:27.860 therapy so we got it we're trying to we're financing this kid's estrogen therapy fire

00:09:32.160 through my patreon and we're buying selling t-shirts for my man tt he's um he's wait yeah

00:09:37.660 What happened?

00:09:38.980 My man, T.T.?

00:09:40.260 Well, right now, T.T. told me until he gets fully, because right now he's got B-tits,

00:09:45.960 and he said he wants to get to D's, and then he'll fully commit to being a woman. 0.77

00:09:49.460 So he does identify as a man right now.

00:09:51.620 Listen, when he came in to do my podcast, he walked in wearing a sweatshirt of mine.

00:09:57.320 I gave him a sweatshirt from the Denver Comedy Works a year ago when he got out of prison.

00:10:00.680 So I gave him a guy's sweatshirt, and then he left wearing my girlfriend's sweatshirt.

00:10:04.160 So he kind of flows.

00:10:05.460 He goes with the flow.

00:10:06.220 Pretty symbolic.

00:10:06.640 don't you think of this episode with this guy i was i was fascinated he also he also hooked up

00:10:12.440 with ronald de feo jr who the amity villajara house guy he hooked up with him he played basketball

00:10:17.280 with tupac it's the most insane stories of all time he was in prison for 25 years

00:10:22.380 where we're at in rikert no right upstate new york right he was like it was on and off prison

00:10:28.780 he was on and off uh uh prison sentences but 25 years total so this guy just came on my podcast

00:10:35.240 You know, I do it for my living room, my house.

00:10:37.460 You know, my daughters, you know, his, you know, niece. 0.99

00:10:40.520 I keep telling her to earmuff because he's like, you know, he's like, I sliced the guy's dick off with a tuna fish can. 0.99

00:10:44.860 And I'm like, yo, earmuff, baby. 0.99

00:10:47.460 I'm like, yeah, dude, but it was dope.

00:10:49.140 It was dope.

00:10:49.720 So I got a podcast, Chrissy KS, where I do stuff like this.

00:10:52.220 And then I have a podcast with Sal Bocana from the Impact Little Jokers called Hey Babe, where we don't even curse.

00:10:56.880 So I just, I'm Chrissy flip-flops.

00:10:58.880 I'm just in two worlds.

00:10:59.940 But those are my podcasts.

00:11:01.280 But I appreciate you shout out my TV shows that nobody watches.

00:11:03.700 it's all about the pods dude doing this stuff doing stuff like this the internet and doing

00:11:09.580 the patreon stuff i feel like that's just the future i mean i'm out here doing a tv show but

00:11:13.980 i only said yes to it because it's true tv backyard bar wars it'll come out in july hopefully you guys

00:11:19.220 like it but i really just so i could do podcasts that's why i said yes to it if if they were

00:11:23.520 filming in like fucking north dakota i'd be like no i'm not gonna do it i mean i i gotta do my 0.70

00:11:28.140 podcast what's what the comedians have flocked to patreon it's like the only fans for comedians 0.91

00:11:34.160 you know why because in some like especially with comedy like you know like i anything you say now

00:11:40.800 like there's just groups of people that just want to be like you're canceled and they don't know 0.98

00:11:44.400 anything about your life good at that voice so it's just like stupidity because it's just like 1.00

00:11:48.260 weak those cancer people they're just like weak scared people that like they've never had power 0.99

00:11:52.880 in their lives they're like i want to take other people so patreon gives us gives us a platform to

00:11:58.300 be like hey we could say whatever you want you as the fans control my career i'm not i don't have to 0.83

00:12:03.280 abide you know i don't fucking have to say in a stay in a box because jimmy fallon wants me to 0.86

00:12:08.000 or colgate toothpaste wants me to patreon.com is like hey i could just say what i want you pay five 0.93

00:12:13.480 dollars a month ten dollars a month whatever you want i give you extra bonus content you like it

00:12:16.920 or no and that's where all that's where you know andrew schultz tim dylan that's where everybody's

00:12:20.600 building their fan bases it's the best way to do it well maybe not you're preaching to the choir

00:12:24.800 dude maybe oh yeah maybe it's maybe patreon's not the best place but what is the best place

00:12:29.180 well oh you guys got your own thing you get kicked off everything right i mean you just

00:12:32.940 no no no no i love us everywhere we got deep platform i thought i don't i don't know i don't

00:12:37.020 know the rules we almost did when we had alex jones on we almost did you almost put alex jones

00:12:41.440 on yeah well no we had aj on right and youtube did not like that they don't like that they don't

00:12:45.740 like aj yeah i mean it's just like when does it end right i mean it's just like stop it

00:12:50.580 already with canceling everybody just what if somebody pays you right or sorry what if somebody

00:12:55.420 pays for the patreon and they're a counselor like they're like oh let's go in there and see

00:12:59.200 it happens but i yeah but i almost feel like then it kind of like devalues the counselor because 0.99

00:13:05.660 it's like you look like such a jerk you went looking for trouble paying ten dollars it's like 0.99

00:13:10.280 dude shut up you know and it's so funny because like people like my my family right my girl's 1.00

00:13:16.180 puerto rican my daughter's half puerto rican another child on the way definitely going to 0.95

00:13:19.200 be puerto rican i think so it's just like i'm i'm like i'm el blanquito i'm all about like the

00:13:23.860 latino lifestyle you know i'm like in you know with with the puerto ricans and like so sometimes

00:13:28.980 i tweet stuff then i'm like yo i'm like the white guy that like lives amongst my puerto rican people

00:13:34.040 i tweeted something out the other day and people were yelling at me i said if i was president joe

00:13:37.780 biden the first thing i do is i'd make aoc the head of the cia because nobody looks to phones

00:13:43.580 like puerto rican women and people started and people started being like you're canceled one

00:13:48.880 guy said to me no it's just crazy because one guy goes you've probably never even met a puerto

00:13:53.520 rican person and i was like what dude my daughter was next to me legit doing zumba i'm like i've 1.00

00:13:58.560 never met a puerto rican look at this kid she's hit me in the head with fucking empanadas and 0.98

00:14:02.460 shit i've never met so it's like that's what on the internet now i just post i don't even look 0.99

00:14:06.860 at the comments i just post and fly yeah yeah yeah it's the only way to do it online yeah dude 0.98

00:14:11.240 you have to especially if you're doing risque content yeah dude i mean yeah i mean you guys

00:14:15.280 must look at you never can look at your comments right i mean it depends it depends on what you

00:14:20.880 what you do when you look at them if they if they're fun to you like right we try i try to

00:14:25.760 have fun with them i i like to enjoy the craziness in people like when somebody comes with a

00:14:30.800 canceling thing i'm like did that really offended you that much right that really upset you that

00:14:36.200 much are you just trying to get i try to i try to take feedback like i don't mind if someone's 0.94

00:14:40.860 like yo this comment was a bit too far you're a dickhead now that i'm 25 i feel like i have a 0.58

00:14:45.800 strong opinion on things and if i deem you wrong i'm unaffected right but maybe i listen to to 0.77

00:14:53.000 and some what people are saying dude i think it's okay to listen to people i mean you know we all

00:14:56.980 you know nobody's above you know criticism we all can take you know advice from people and get

00:15:01.400 critiqued by people but some people it's like you know like even sometimes like when you listen to

00:15:05.540 people or like when you watch certain people like in the media or even like you know society it's

00:15:10.200 like there's no you know racism sexism all these things it makes money for people like people get

00:15:15.580 it's a whole business so it's like i think the first critical mistake is these people are trying

00:15:19.760 to cancel you they don't want you to learn a lesson they don't want you to change no no of

00:15:23.620 course not they just they make money by doing it like i felt like i don't know if anybody i mean

00:15:27.520 you guys maybe even talked about it but i was just thinking about like the hypocrisy from a few years 0.92

00:15:31.360 ago when kevin hart got canceled for fucking what could he could do like the oscars or something 0.94

00:15:37.200 because he, like, tweeted something out 0.99

00:15:39.140 that was, like, homophobic from, like, 10 years before.

00:15:41.340 Wait, that his kid played with, like, a Barbie set

00:15:43.180 or something like that? Yeah, which is like, dude, and then it's like, all he's done

00:15:45.200 in his actions throughout the last 10 years 0.94

00:15:47.060 is, I mean, the guy fucking did the movie 0.99

00:15:49.060 Jumanji. It's like, that's pro-gay 1.00

00:15:51.040 as it gets, dude. It's like, that's the gayest 1.00

00:15:53.180 thing you could ever do is just be the lead 1.00

00:15:55.080 of Jumanji, but you cancel

00:15:57.180 him from a tweet from 10 years ago, but

00:15:59.080 then on that very same show, they honored

00:16:01.220 and had Eminem perform, who this music

00:16:03.200 was 10 years ago. He's throwing his wife off bridges

00:16:05.180 and killing her in the back of the truck. I'm like, 0.97

00:16:07.120 What's the difference? 1.00

00:16:08.380 You guys are hypocrites. 0.99

00:16:09.860 So that's why I'm with Logan Paul only. 1.00

00:16:12.180 Fuck Hollywood. 1.00

00:16:13.140 I'm on the Paul train. 1.00

00:16:14.280 Well, they're starting to like him again.

00:16:15.880 They're starting to like him.

00:16:16.580 But your point is very accurate.

00:16:18.620 People, no one is trying to teach a lesson.

00:16:20.480 They're either A, trying to get more clout for themselves by getting the most retweeted tweet when they cancel someone.

00:16:25.840 Yeah. 1.00

00:16:26.200 To grow their followers or air dirty laundry because dirty laundry pays the fucking bills. 0.98

00:16:29.980 And that's why for me, I put a lot of stuff that I like to do, like the comedy that's outside the box. 0.98

00:16:36.080 and my opinion is at

00:16:37.020 mythingpatreon.com

00:16:38.160 slash christycomedy

00:16:39.000 because I'm like

00:16:39.520 this is like

00:16:40.420 it's nasty at it

00:16:41.380 dude I'm just

00:16:42.360 plug master 0.99

00:16:43.780 cause I got a fucking 1.00

00:16:45.260 five year old daughter 1.00

00:16:46.280 I got a child on the way

00:16:47.540 whose due date's July 4th

00:16:48.800 I gotta make some money baby

00:16:50.020 I know dude

00:16:50.580 what would you do

00:16:51.480 if I named my kid Donald

00:16:52.560 would that be insane

00:16:53.580 to do in 2021

00:16:54.640 you won't

00:16:55.760 what 0.99

00:16:56.020 dude I'll fucking do it 1.00

00:16:57.700 I'll ruin my kid's life 1.00

00:16:58.840 just to do it for you

00:16:59.920 no you won't

00:17:00.520 just

00:17:00.760 what do you think's a bigger

00:17:02.160 a bigger problem

00:17:03.080 you need to name your kid Stefano

00:17:04.300 is it a boy or a girl

00:17:05.500 I don't know

00:17:06.280 If it's a girl

00:17:08.060 And it's Donald

00:17:08.780 Dude either way

00:17:11.020 It's Donald 1.00

00:17:11.500 Boy or a girl 0.81

00:17:12.260 Don DeStefano

00:17:13.960 He sounds like

00:17:15.620 He's gonna either

00:17:16.120 Try to sell me 1.00

00:17:16.760 Like a grinder

00:17:18.540 At like a Brooklyn pizza shop 1.00

00:17:20.320 Shout out

00:17:20.700 Grindr.com

00:17:21.360 Slash Christy Comedy

00:17:22.180 I'm on there too 0.99

00:17:22.400 No fucking way 0.99

00:17:23.240 No way 0.99

00:17:23.940 I'm on there dude

00:17:24.320 I'm not buying it 0.99

00:17:25.220 I'm fucking on there bro 0.99

00:17:25.780 I'm not buying it 0.99

00:17:26.140 Okay check my profile

00:17:27.220 This kid knows

00:17:27.980 That's Jake Bredo

00:17:30.000 This kid's great

00:17:30.960 You know I'm naming

00:17:31.480 My runt

00:17:32.160 The very last kid I have

00:17:33.720 Who's probably gonna end up

00:17:34.840 Being the biggest

00:17:35.320 but technically he's the runt.

00:17:36.480 I'm naming him Paul

00:17:37.200 and his middle name

00:17:38.560 will also be Paul.

00:17:39.600 Paul, Paul, Paul.

00:17:40.260 Paul, Paul.

00:17:40.920 Dude, it's great, dude. 1.00

00:17:41.840 Yeah, I'm going to fuck 1.00

00:17:42.660 with my kids. 1.00

00:17:43.360 100% dude. 0.83

00:17:44.320 I don't think you need

00:17:45.100 to do anything 1.00

00:17:45.540 to fuck with your kids. 1.00

00:17:46.420 I think it'll get in character. 1.00

00:17:48.560 I think they'll be able

00:17:49.120 to build off that.

00:17:50.280 100% dude.

00:17:50.980 Dude, you always had

00:17:52.060 deep conversations

00:17:52.680 going, why would GP do that?

00:17:54.280 He always blamed it

00:17:55.980 on character development.

00:17:57.220 What if he grew up

00:17:58.160 and he's like, 1.00

00:17:58.460 I'm going to fuck 1.00

00:17:58.880 with these kids. 1.00

00:17:59.780 He did the same thing you did.

00:18:01.340 You are just a younger

00:18:02.120 version of GP.

00:18:02.980 Didn't Johnny Cash

00:18:03.780 make an entire song

00:18:04.480 about this about sue was it johnny cash i wish people could see like the cultural diversity we

00:18:11.320 got going on go ahead go ahead and say it out loud so everyone knows we're actually we're actually

00:18:15.340 forced we're actually forced dude look at this everybody i mean look look at look at the cultural

00:18:20.860 diversity going on george i mean look at everybody in here it's unbelievable george isn't that the

00:18:26.340 kid's name george that's me oh you're george this kid looks like you ever seen the 1975 that band

00:18:32.420 Matthew Healy. This kid looks like the lead singer

00:18:34.300 from that band, dude. Do you know how I got him

00:18:36.320 to be my camera guy? What are you, Greek, by the way? What is this kid?

00:18:38.500 What nationality are you? What the fuck are you, George? 1.00

00:18:40.360 At least I'm not a Muppet. Last comedian called me 1.00

00:18:42.460 a Muppet. Who called you a Muppet? I'll beat the shit out of him.

00:18:44.520 It was Andrew Schultz. Dude, Andrew 0.99

00:18:46.400 Schultz got quick hands, but I still feel

00:18:48.120 I still feel, you know, 0.99

00:18:50.320 if I get some weight behind a fucking two 0.99

00:18:52.340 and turn my heel over and catch that kid, 0.99

00:18:54.800 yeah, who cares, dude? He would want to

00:18:56.320 fucking live stream it anyway. The kid would subtitle 0.98

00:18:58.260 a knockout. He's insane. 1.00

00:19:00.540 Turn your phone sideways. He literally would be 0.94

00:19:02.400 turn your phone sideways he's getting knocked out he doesn't care oh that poor akash all right

00:19:08.140 is he your favorite comedian andrew schultz dude me and schultz have known each other forever dude

00:19:13.460 we started we did that show guy code on mtv7 in like 2011 or 12 and what i'll say about schultzy

00:19:21.460 is when we were doing guy code before anybody even did a podcast i don't even know if you even

00:19:26.460 had a youtube channel yet schultzy was on youtube doing a podcast so all these things that have

00:19:31.260 come to fruition with him you know this is no overnight success like maybe people have heard of

00:19:35.780 him you know the grand uh you know millions of people wanted to turn the phone thing or got on

00:19:40.040 rogan but this kid was doing this stuff from forever dude and and he there was a while there

00:19:45.240 in comedy where people would be like oh what happened not me because i always knew the kid

00:19:48.640 but other people would be like oh what happened andrew schultz i'd be like oh he's banging on a 1.00

00:19:51.980 podcast i'm like oh what a loser that's like yeah stupid dick now they're driving ubers i'm worried 0.99

00:19:57.200 about him i'm worried about schultz why i uh i did the that flagrant pod down in miami probably 1.00

00:20:03.320 about a month ago great he had been down there for maybe like a couple weeks white pants out of

00:20:08.340 control unbuttoned floral shirt the cuban links the toothpick the fedora he's out of control he

00:20:13.100 was speaking spanish well he does that but he knows spanish that kid know he went and studied

00:20:17.680 abroad in spain i think yeah in his 20s so he knows spanish now no i should though puerto rican

00:20:22.440 what dude i should domi moscow solina that's all i know i don't know anything like dude not not too

00:20:27.500 long ago he was eating he was eating new york food i saw him at bow house yeah now he's he asked me

00:20:33.000 if i wanted any a rose cone poyo like he's he were losing he's like that but schultz no dude but 0.95

00:20:38.620 schultz is he's one of those guys i mean you know he's like a fucking he's been a mogul like that 0.94

00:20:43.120 here's the thing with schultz is where he's going to get too much power when schultz starts to get 0.98

00:20:47.220 really too much power keep that kid out of a helicopter do not let that kid get in a helicopter

00:20:51.480 because I'm telling you, 0.99

00:20:52.800 the kid will fucking fly through cloudy conditions 0.99

00:20:54.960 and he's going to wind up in bad shape. 0.98

00:20:56.840 So we need to keep Andrew Schultz on the ground

00:20:59.620 when he gets really, really, really successful

00:21:01.860 because the kid, he doesn't fear death.

00:21:03.980 He doesn't fear anything.

00:21:04.800 No more choppers.

00:21:05.700 No more choppers for Schultz.

00:21:06.620 I sent that text to my boys in the group chat the other day.

00:21:09.360 Dude, we can't do it anymore. 1.00

00:21:10.100 No more fucking choppers. 1.00

00:21:10.760 In general. 1.00

00:21:11.320 Not even just Schultz.

00:21:12.840 Too dangerous.

00:21:13.640 No, dude, we can't do it.

00:21:14.520 I stay on the ground now.

00:21:15.600 I don't like doing it.

00:21:16.600 Yeah.

00:21:17.060 But no, Schultz would be good.

00:21:18.840 But yeah, he's wearing a lot of snakeskin, white stuff.

00:21:20.400 I'm scared.

00:21:20.680 what he does i'm scared same general area as you we talked about this when you came in

00:21:24.240 new york guy yes brooklyn right yes sir how do you feel about the fact that six nine represents

00:21:29.240 your neighborhood now um dude yeah takashi six nine is actually from bushwick that's where i'm

00:21:35.020 from i'm from the ridgewood bushwick area um he's a lot younger than me and i never heard of him but

00:21:38.760 i took uh before you know he became takashi six nine i didn't know him before any of that but um

00:21:43.360 i don't mind dude i like the thing that i like about takashi six nine is he's like he's all about 0.74

00:21:48.900 fucking self-starting nobody gave him anything same thing that we are you know doing here in 0.91

00:21:53.580 comedy it's like dude i'm not waiting for somebody to give me a fucking show i'm just going to create 0.99

00:21:57.620 my own stuff and put it out on you know how we put it out on soundcloud and whatever he is and 0.91

00:22:01.740 now he becomes the biggest one of the biggest names in in hip-hop so i mean i don't know one

00:22:06.120 of the kids songs you know but i every and every time i see him i'm like am i in mushrooms right 0.97

00:22:10.580 now like my daughter loves him because she looks like a fucking hello pony you know what i mean 0.97

00:22:14.420 Your daughter's five. 0.99

00:22:15.840 My daughter's five, but his hair.

00:22:16.740 Does she like his music?

00:22:17.520 Dude, no, not his hair, but you see that, you know,

00:22:19.360 he doesn't like his music, but his hair and the way how colorful he is.

00:22:22.700 He looks like T.T. Jerry.

00:22:24.020 Yeah, of course.

00:22:25.000 He looks like T.T. Jerry.

00:22:25.940 He does look like T.T. Jerry.

00:22:27.040 She looked at TV and she was like, T.T. Jerry?

00:22:29.140 He was like, no, it's Tekashi 6ix9ine, 0.99

00:22:30.320 but they may have fucked each other in prison. 0.96

00:22:32.820 We just got, we're like two days past the anniversary of Biggie's death. 0.97

00:22:36.580 Yes, March 9th.

00:22:37.440 Yeah, March 9th, crazy.

00:22:39.300 I know.

00:22:40.300 Here's the thing with Biggie, though.

00:22:41.780 Everybody loves Biggie.

00:22:43.020 I love Biggie.

00:22:43.680 I mean, especially being from Brooklyn, but I mean, there's no way the kid would have made it past COVID.

00:22:47.060 No chance Biggie makes it through the Pandy Wandy.

00:22:49.940 No, dude, are you kidding me?

00:22:51.200 So I feel like either way, I mean, he died March 9, 97.

00:22:54.320 That sucks, but he wasn't going to make it past 2020.

00:22:56.960 Because of his weight? 0.99

00:22:57.380 A thousand percent, dude.

00:22:58.600 No way, man.

00:22:59.440 Is that the thing?

00:23:00.560 Like a lot of overweight people just dropping because of the COVID?

00:23:02.920 I like when you start to get serious when I'm just kidding.

00:23:04.800 You're like, is that true, sir?

00:23:06.480 Yeah. 1.00

00:23:06.940 No, I'm saying if you're fat, you're going to die COVID. 1.00

00:23:09.100 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:23:09.880 No, no. 1.00

00:23:10.380 no i mean i just wish america would start to say that though you know enough with blaming 1.00

00:23:16.560 nursing homes just be like listen fuckers you got it we have to lose weight the blood pressure 1.00

00:23:20.720 and fat fucks out here if you get covid in america you're gonna die because you're fat 1.00

00:23:24.700 hey hey i'm not i'm not i'm not saying you're fat but i feel like maybe there's some history there 1.00

00:23:31.580 yes dude i am still i'm i gotta listen here's just so you know here's how i am a uh i thought

00:23:38.800 relatively healthy guy but i qualified for the vaccine three months ago because of my bmi so that

00:23:43.720 wasn't fun they were like i didn't get it but i was like what do you mean i can get it they were 0.83

00:23:47.460 like oh your bmi is over 30 i was like fuck you i was like it hurts but i know dude yeah i uh no my 0.93

00:23:54.480 dad my dad just got it uh i didn't think he was going to get a tampa tony shout out tampa tony 0.99

00:23:59.080 he's probably watching um he was he was for the longest was not going to get the vaccine but then

00:24:03.740 i just convinced him to get it dude he was the guy who was literally when he was living in new york

00:24:08.280 in March and April of 2020, he was 75 years old, asthma, diabetes, and a heart condition.

00:24:15.960 Basically everything COVID wants to eat, this guy had in his body. And he was taking public

00:24:20.120 transportation in New York City wearing the mask on his ear. He wouldn't put it over his face. And

00:24:25.360 I'm like, dad, can you please put the mask on your face? And he's like, oh, I didn't know I had a gay 0.91

00:24:29.820 son. I'm like, what does that even mean, dude? What does that even mean? That's exactly what he

00:24:35.280 said to me i was like there's no way what does that mean but now i finally got him to take the

00:24:39.280 vaccine because i was like if you take the vaccine the yankees chance of winning the world series

00:24:42.940 goes up he's like all right give it to me by the way i feel like your dad is probably like the

00:24:47.260 poster child for the persona that continues to embrace the ability to say gay and call people

00:24:51.460 like that take that out in context here's the thing though here's the thing first of all one

00:24:56.120 of my dad's favorite people in the world is tt jerry when tt jerry got out of prison my dad was

00:25:00.280 there with open arms right see the thing is with my dad and people like my father's group and it's

00:25:05.680 just because you have you have somebody like my dad who was born in the 70s uh who's in his 70s

00:25:10.920 or somebody like my grandpa who's 99 years old my grandpa's still alive to this day 99 he still to

00:25:15.840 this day won't eat sushi because he thinks the japanese are the enemy so it's like you know

00:25:20.640 what i mean but so like so that guy and that and it's and that's why i love when people people

00:25:25.860 like oh it's not about you getting covid what if you give it to your grandparents i'm like my

00:25:29.280 grandparents are racist who cares dude i mean let this guy go out with a fever you know what i mean

00:25:33.960 um but so sorry but my point is like you got old people like that like my dad and my grandpa 0.94

00:25:42.480 on this planet and then you have people you know who are you know 15 years old who get their news

00:25:47.440 from tiktok and they're both existing and they're both and they're both right i think they're both 0.79

00:25:52.260 right from how they see the world you know like not that you know like the the older people are

00:25:57.960 going to go away they're going to start to die and the newer people will you know start to populate

00:26:01.460 so i think like things are getting so much better they're getting so much better but like people

00:26:06.400 want results right away but i just think never in history have we had such a grand you know such a

00:26:11.980 far spectrum of differences of opinions in like the history of our planet where you got i mean

00:26:17.540 they're living on the same block people who could you know one you know like one guy won't use

00:26:22.340 chopsticks and and and the kid you know is white born and raised in queens but identifies as a

00:26:27.660 japanese woman like that's just what it is in japan that lives in japan but they've never you

00:26:31.760 know what i mean but all they've done is play hello kitty and they've never they've never left 0.99

00:26:35.200 their block but you have to be like oh you know you have to bow to them even though they're you

00:26:39.540 know so that's just what it is because the rules are they've changed so i think we'll get there as

00:26:44.620 a society but you know it's little by little but thank god my dad's got the vaccine now and it so

00:26:49.220 far it hasn't made him gay because that's what he was worried about how far do you think how far do

00:26:53.540 think that avalanche can go like what do you think you'll be available what do you think you'll be

00:26:58.220 available to identify as in like 20 years what do you mean like what do i want to identify as

00:27:03.940 well i'll ask you in a second but like right now we're we're um you can identify as different

00:27:07.800 genders sure we've seen some people that have tried to identify now as different races or as

00:27:12.100 different from different descents do you think we'll go to different uh to identify as different

00:27:16.960 species or i think also potentially objects so like do you think a day where you can identify

00:27:21.780 a toaster oven is coming a hundred percent i think already i mean already people are starting

00:27:25.640 to identify as nfts i mean you guys are already starting to identify as crypto it's becoming like

00:27:30.140 a part of us yeah i think but listen here's the thing with i think like what i'm trying to teach

00:27:34.920 my daughter is just to like lead with love adapt to the changes like don't like just give everybody

00:27:39.940 a chance man like just literally give everybody a chance i think the people that come but again 0.98

00:27:44.200 i'm born and raised in new york city so i don't expect some fucking idiot from nebraska who works 0.95

00:27:48.340 you know in uh what's his name in a mill uh his name is uh is uh timmy paul yeah i would say like 0.99

00:27:54.420 paul johnson or he's you know yeah he's watching yeah shout out paul johnson pj yeah you know he's

00:28:00.760 watching he's doesn't he's not going to read a book about you know gender identity politics he's

00:28:05.560 just going to look you know he's going to see whatever news channel he subscribes to he's just

00:28:08.560 going to take that stance because he only sees people that look like him 24 7 so you got to just

00:28:13.480 deal with these people i feel pretty i feel honored and blessed to have grown up in new york city where

00:28:17.720 I see all different walks.

00:28:18.880 Yeah, the melting pot.

00:28:19.660 Yeah, dude.

00:28:20.160 So it's hard.

00:28:20.960 It's almost impossible for me to be racist, dude.

00:28:22.900 I'm more Filipino than some Filipino people

00:28:24.800 because I just know more about Philippines

00:28:27.120 than some people were born and raised there.

00:28:29.660 So I don't know.

00:28:30.620 I don't know, man.

00:28:31.760 What were we talking about?

00:28:32.820 Toaster ovens.

00:28:33.740 Toaster ovens, dude.

00:28:34.520 I don't have one in my Airbnb.

00:28:36.120 Well, somebody might become one there.

00:28:38.220 A hundred percent.

00:28:39.500 Yeah.

00:28:39.860 How am I supposed to toast?

00:28:40.780 I guess I can use the oven oven.

00:28:42.240 But that's also what I'm saying.

00:28:43.520 I think people are short-sighted on it.

00:28:45.100 Like if you find a person that identifies as a refrigerator,

00:28:47.720 don't get mad at the person put a beer in them exactly you know what i'm saying like exactly 0.99

00:28:52.020 beer in their ass absolutely dude fast forward 10 years when he's on trial he's like i stuck a beer 0.98

00:28:56.460 in him he said he was a refrigerator you lift their arm up and it spits out cold tap beer dude 0.99

00:29:03.000 like bro utilize this this is what i want to say though where it got so you asked me initially

00:29:07.060 about how my somebody like my dad and that group of people can get away with saying with saying

00:29:11.100 things because because it's his it's his heart his heart like dude my here's an example of my

00:29:15.880 father my dad always has like the right intention but the wrong move right so in in hurricane sand

00:29:19.900 when hurricane sandy happened like 2012 in new york city like ravaged destroyed crazy

00:29:24.200 staten island and brooklyn whatever it was like bad bad bad so my father lived a little bit inland

00:29:28.840 on staten island and his house didn't get damaged at all but the people who lived on the on the on

00:29:34.400 the shore mostly a mexican community they got destroyed mexican puerto rican latino community

00:29:39.820 their houses got destroyed they were living in like bungalows or whatever my dad every day for

00:29:43.340 two weeks took a rented a u-haul truck and would go down and help the families out uh take the kids

00:29:49.820 to school whatever they needed even one family he let stay in the house for three weeks while they

00:29:54.960 were getting everything uh you know a mexican family while they were getting um their house

00:29:59.840 and their furniture and all that sort of my dad let them stay stay in the house they were living

00:30:03.720 in my father's house for free for he was like he's helping this family he didn't know them

00:30:07.300 an hour ago he's like you're gonna stay with me but so that's an amazing act but with the way my

00:30:12.880 dad is you know like the the guy who when i went go visit them you know the patriarch of the family's

00:30:17.540 name was jose my dad would call him one he'd be like oh hide the silverware like old school dad

00:30:22.040 jokes but the actions the actions of my father because that's the difference is like what did

00:30:27.040 we hear all the time as kids actions speak louder than words my mom was like christopher your actions

00:30:31.360 will speak louder than your words but now all of a sudden it's words speak louder than actions it

00:30:35.200 just flipped and i'm just like what is this when did this happen it's just now it's the words you

00:30:40.100 could be the greatest guy in the world you say or girl or they be you say one wrong thing you're

00:30:44.660 done even though your actions are so much better than the canceling people who are canceling for 1.00

00:30:48.460 words they're all pieces of shit you know what a fucking scumbag you have to be to fucking want 1.00

00:30:52.820 to ruin somebody else's life for bullshit do you know how sick and sad you have to be yeah dude so 1.00

00:30:58.220 you got to just deal with it but that's why i'm protected from patreon.com slash christy comedy 0.99

00:31:02.120 there's no way yeah dude i got three i got three in and i'll drink this little water bottle dude

00:31:06.800 I gave you a big one.

00:31:07.700 Don't look at me like that.

00:31:09.820 You good?

00:31:10.920 You good.

00:31:12.700 Have you listened to me for the past 20 minutes?

00:31:14.400 No.

00:31:14.940 I'm not good, dude. 0.97

00:31:16.240 Do I sound stable to you and like I have a fucking good head on my shoulders? 0.90

00:31:19.760 What do you mean am I good, dude? 0.98

00:31:20.780 Listen to me. 0.99

00:31:21.560 I'm going to kill myself with my Nissan Armada. 1.00

00:31:23.740 No. 1.00

00:31:24.320 No, don't do that.

00:31:25.680 I'm sorry.

00:31:27.180 Unless Nissan Armada is a sponsor, I could change that car to whatever sponsors the show.

00:31:30.500 No car sponsors right now. 0.56

00:31:31.920 Do you think you can kill yourself somehow with Blue Chew?

00:31:34.420 No, no. 0.94

00:31:34.860 Yes, with Blue Chew.

00:31:35.820 Perfect.

00:31:36.180 Thank you so much

00:31:38.300 No, no, no

00:31:39.080 Let's just finish off

00:31:40.820 Who? 0.98

00:31:41.940 Manscaped

00:31:42.300 Oh, Manscaped, dude

00:31:43.600 He doesn't have the hair on him

00:31:44.920 Oh, you kidding me?

00:31:45.560 The Lawn Mower 3.0

00:31:46.720 You can do the promo code chaos

00:31:48.100 20% at checkout

00:31:49.260 Manscaped.com

00:31:50.680 Or promo code chaos

00:31:52.080 Bluechew.com

00:31:52.740 Or hey, babe

00:31:53.880 Wow

00:31:54.360 I can't wait for the sponsor to be like 0.91

00:31:56.120 Oh, so you let us in with suicide 0.63

00:31:57.280 Yeah, dude

00:31:58.360 I let you in

00:31:58.880 Manscaped is the best, dude 0.99

00:31:59.960 You ever shave your balls with Manscaped? 0.98

00:32:01.340 No, I actually still use the Lawn Mower 1.0 1.00

00:32:04.360 And I've almost cut my dick off 0.99

00:32:05.620 like with a tuna can like TT a hundred fucking times. 1.00

00:32:07.960 A hundred, dude, what you got to do. 0.99

00:32:08.800 I get these huge gashes.

00:32:10.340 The blood drips down my, I got to switch, dog.

00:32:12.800 I figured it out.

00:32:13.680 When I get a full bush like that,

00:32:14.880 what I do is I tuck it back. 1.00

00:32:15.940 I go Buffalo Bill, full mangina. 1.00

00:32:17.640 Oh, nice. 1.00

00:32:18.520 That's smart.

00:32:18.860 You said you were hairless.

00:32:20.240 Right.

00:32:20.820 What bush?

00:32:22.220 Ooh.

00:32:23.300 Oh, no, no.

00:32:26.020 Dude, I'm sorry I didn't answer right away.

00:32:27.980 Those teeth, baby.

00:32:29.440 Oh, my God.

00:32:30.640 There was so much I wanted to protest.

00:32:32.840 Oh, my God.

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00:33:50.260 use the right use the right tools for the job back to the program yo this is crazy is this okay

00:33:55.640 are we not is this the end of the show i don't know i wanted to i just came out swinging and

00:34:00.440 then i see other people coming in like is this illegal what he's doing we could cut it i lost 0.90

00:34:05.480 the can i lost the 1975 kids on his phone now fucking lost who i know he's talking to like an 0.91

00:34:11.480 agent or attorney we gotta cancel this guy are these girls girls in the are you okay with that 0.98

00:34:16.500 i'm sorry let's see the girls i'm a good person you know okay uh uh michelle brought her friend 0.95

00:34:22.260 by the way when people come here for the first time and see some shit like this it's weird for 0.79

00:34:26.280 all of us it's weird no you don't have to bow her michelle actually identifies as a leprechaun 0.93

00:34:31.440 so she does yeah oh shout out i love ireland yeah yeah yeah great hi michelle nice to meet you

00:34:36.600 thank you if you didn't hear what she said back she said good to meet you see you at the other

00:34:41.800 end of the rainbow christophano i'm gonna get canceled for this are you every can have their

00:34:47.620 fun but it's all gonna come back to me thank you guys this is the first time i'm very happy being

00:34:52.860 on this side yeah but my question is what are we saying that's so bad we're just having i'm a

00:34:58.120 comedian shouldn't there be one group of people that can step up to the line or cross it you

00:35:02.040 would think like why do why do you know it's another thing i noticed why do comedians get

00:35:06.140 held to the same to higher standards than politicians but politicians don't get held

00:35:10.440 to those standards like you want to cancel a comic for saying whatever they say but then a

00:35:14.400 politician can just do whatever dude it's so bizarre to me want to know what i did what is it

00:35:18.900 I came out right on the first time I came on the show, and I said,

00:35:22.220 Hi, I'm Mike Malek, and I like to smoke crack.

00:35:24.720 I'm a crackhead. 0.93

00:35:25.660 And then I dated a porn star, and I was like, 0.98

00:35:27.680 What are you going to say to me, man? 0.99

00:35:29.140 What am I going to fucking do next that's going to upset you so much? 0.99

00:35:32.460 Here's the thing. 0.99

00:35:33.140 I knew you were on crack because you're doing this show barefoot.

00:35:35.620 You have no shoes or socks on.

00:35:36.920 Look, this kid's got his foot out. 1.00

00:35:38.300 Don't you fucking dare. 1.00

00:35:39.540 Can you believe 260 straight episodes, no fucking shoes? 1.00

00:35:43.200 Can you believe this kid's a fucking multimillionaire with no shoes on? 1.00

00:35:46.640 This kid's got no shoes and socks on. 1.00

00:35:48.360 Are you multi? 1.00

00:35:49.040 Kids make it millies.

00:35:49.960 He's multi. 1.00

00:35:50.780 Fuck. 1.00

00:35:51.200 He's multi, dude. 1.00

00:35:51.880 Fuck. 1.00

00:35:52.460 Dude, it's good to you. 1.00

00:35:53.300 Until Uncle Sam punches me in the fucking neck, and then it might go back down to singular. 1.00

00:35:56.980 We'll see what happens. 1.00

00:35:57.740 Whatever, dude. 1.00

00:35:58.480 Fuck that, dude. 1.00

00:35:59.100 It happens, man. 1.00

00:35:59.940 It happens.

00:36:00.800 Look at this kid.

00:36:01.260 He's got his legs spread open.

00:36:02.780 That's the crypto.

00:36:03.660 That's our crypto guy.

00:36:04.300 This is the crypto guy.

00:36:04.900 He's a crypto guru.

00:36:05.740 You can tell.

00:36:06.440 Dude, I'm in, I'm in, well, you guys talked about, I'm Chrissy Bitcoins now, dude. 0.96

00:36:09.600 I'm like fucking Super Mario Brothers. 0.88

00:36:11.120 I'm dee, dee, dee, dee, dee, dee. 0.98

00:36:11.980 I'm getting all the coins I get

00:36:13.500 I got one bitcoin and three ethereum

00:36:15.640 Shout out

00:36:16.180 Is there a place where we can find out more information

00:36:19.440 About your crypto collections that you wouldn't share here on the show

00:36:22.200 What do you mean

00:36:23.180 I don't know maybe behind a paywall

00:36:24.440 Oh yeah you could go there

00:36:27.700 You could go to youtube.com slash christycomedy

00:36:29.520 There you go

00:36:30.000 I just started a youtube baby

00:36:31.500 I've stolen your stories before

00:36:35.080 Please take anything you want

00:36:36.840 I told a story on behalf of you

00:36:38.880 I said it was your story

00:36:39.900 Yeah, whatever.

00:36:40.420 Were your dog?

00:36:41.060 Your dog got injected with electrolytes?

00:36:42.540 Oh, my God.

00:36:43.120 Yeah.

00:36:43.360 How crazy was that?

00:36:44.100 That was you?

00:36:44.660 That was him.

00:36:45.200 That was him.

00:36:45.780 I didn't see that happening to you.

00:36:48.200 It was so weird.

00:36:48.980 Yeah, my dog was dying.

00:36:51.880 My mother's dog, Larry, R.I.P. Larry.

00:36:54.580 He's in the dark part of heaven right now, gay dark part of heaven. 1.00

00:36:57.800 And he was a gay dog. 1.00

00:36:59.240 Whatever, dude. 0.99

00:36:59.820 Even my mother admitted. 1.00

00:37:00.600 He was like, yeah, he's a gay. 1.00

00:37:01.520 It's fine. 0.88

00:37:01.980 It's great.

00:37:02.600 It's beautiful, dude.

00:37:03.380 We were going to put him down.

00:37:04.840 We went to go put him down.

00:37:06.040 My mother's crying so upset.

00:37:08.520 and the doctor the vet comes in and she's like you know we're going to give him a procedure right

00:37:13.360 now he's going to be gone in about 10 seconds we just inject it into his paw and he's going to be

00:37:18.080 gone and um you know it's to be all be over soon and my dog's just like blinking like looking at

00:37:23.900 me and my mom and i'm just rubbing my mom's back i'm just like mom it's going to be okay and she's

00:37:27.800 oh bye larry you know holding his paw and then like 10 seconds go by 20 seconds 30 seconds

00:37:34.200 and larry's just like blinking looking at us and she's like and then the the the doctor the vet's

00:37:40.460 like sometimes this happens let me just up the dose here just and then she goes and she puts

00:37:45.180 some more in and then like larry's just like looking looking at us like a minute two minutes

00:37:50.680 my mom's like what's happening why is he in any more pain she's like i thought it's you guys had

00:37:54.880 any pain i'm like mom it's all gonna be over soon it's all gonna be over soon so then the doctor

00:37:58.800 she's like i'll be right back so she comes back in she goes i am so sorry about that she goes i

00:38:03.760 did go ahead and give your dog electrolytes um she's like you may see a short burst in energy

00:38:08.040 but that doesn't mean anything he's he will he is dying so so she's like let me just go at so now

00:38:15.900 my dog is strapped up he's like a young pup he's like running around and my mom's like but i don't

00:38:21.680 understand whatever and then she's like i promise you i just made a certain mistake i just started

00:38:25.680 working here it's fine let me give him this she was like you know he is dying and then they gave

00:38:29.560 him the thing and then he died you know and then he died you know whatever 10 seconds later but the

00:38:33.340 dog next to them was the one who needed the electrolytes and i was like did you kill the

00:38:36.820 dog next door because i never thought about that i'm like could you imagine you killed the dog next

00:38:43.120 door but whatever dude yeah you could yeah you could check out that story on my podcast

00:38:47.180 but you used to uh when you were trying to be a comedian you used to be a teacher i was a

00:38:54.140 physical therapist i still i'm a i was a pediatric physical therapist i have a doctor degree in

00:38:58.340 physical therapy how sick is that i mean dude coming from these brooklyn streets when i got

00:39:02.720 into by physical look at this he does he's fine i lost this kid he's like what does he do what

00:39:07.020 are you texting your dentist what if what if you subscribe in your patreon you do it um yeah dude

00:39:15.960 i was i got a doctorate degree in physical therapy which um even when i showed up my first day of

00:39:21.000 physical therapy school the uh you know dean of the school i was like oh i'm here for the physical

00:39:26.300 therapy program she's like are you the janitor i swear she's like we had somebody spilled something

00:39:30.760 in the back of room 508.

00:39:31.920 I'm like, no, I'm in the program.

00:39:33.640 She was like, really?

00:39:34.300 What's your name?

00:39:35.000 Give her my name. 0.83

00:39:35.400 She's like, oh, yes, you are.

00:39:36.300 Here you go.

00:39:36.660 Welcome.

00:39:37.360 And then, yeah, dude, I lost Logan.

00:39:40.140 No, dude.

00:39:41.320 What's an episode?

00:39:42.760 He spins the chair.

00:39:43.400 I spin the chair.

00:39:43.760 What do you do that for?

00:39:45.060 It just gets old.

00:39:46.280 Yeah, dude.

00:39:46.800 Well, do you have back issues?

00:39:47.760 I could give you a massage.

00:39:48.820 I'm a licensed physical therapist. 0.78

00:39:51.080 I'll massage your multifidus. 0.96

00:39:52.680 Because when you grab my neck, I wasn't hating it. 0.88

00:39:54.240 You like that, right, dude?

00:39:55.000 It was nice.

00:39:55.600 Yeah, dude, see?

00:39:56.200 It was like a nice.

00:39:56.920 But the best physical therapists are my Filipino friends.

00:40:00.260 Filipinos are the best physical therapists.

00:40:01.600 In my school, the best ones were the Filipino kids. 1.00

00:40:04.240 They got little hands. 1.00

00:40:05.240 They just get in there and fucking get in there, dude. 1.00

00:40:07.260 But you would skip class to go do stand-up? 1.00

00:40:09.480 I would skip class to go do stand-up.

00:40:11.560 Well, not skip class.

00:40:12.960 When I became a licensed pediatric physical therapist, I was working in a school.

00:40:17.120 And some days I would miss days at work to go on the radio or go do a show in Delaware

00:40:26.460 or something like that so i was trying to burn the candle at both ends and then um i eventually left

00:40:30.980 uh physical therapy um because the principal of the school was like you got to choose it's either

00:40:35.700 you do this or you do comedy because you're missing too many days and it wasn't fair to

00:40:39.440 the kids i was treating either like when you're working with mentally and physically disabled

00:40:42.380 children you can't really mess up their routines too much because it's a whole thing so i was like 0.67

00:40:47.640 yeah you know you're right i shouldn't be i shouldn't be doing that and then it was really

00:40:51.400 the kids that chose for me i you know because because you got to understand a five six seven

00:40:55.380 year old child in a wheelchair who's physically can't do what we can do but cognitively is just

00:41:01.280 the same they're like 30 year olds like they're so mature because they just sit you know like one

00:41:07.140 kid i met this kid who i worked with who's a fantastic kid i was like how are you so smart

00:41:11.140 he's like i just sit and think all day he's like i can't use my legs so i just sit exercise the

00:41:15.040 mind yeah and he's just and he's six seven years old and he's the same one when i was like hey i'm

00:41:19.060 gonna leave to do physical therapy but i'm uh leave to do comedy but i'm really scared to leave

00:41:23.120 physical therapy job i was like it's good i was talking with seven okay i'm like i got health

00:41:26.820 insurance you know i have a doctorate degree my mother's gonna be so mad at me like things like

00:41:31.800 that and he's like but isn't comedy your dream at didn't you always want comedy to be your dream

00:41:35.300 and i'm like yeah and he's like so are they are do you can you when you leave here are you gonna

00:41:38.880 go do comedy and i'm like yeah that's the plan he's like so why why are you still here what like

00:41:44.040 he didn't like he didn't he was like so he was looking at me like i don't understand you're

00:41:49.460 getting a chance to live your dream but you're still here with me i he didn't see it any other

00:41:54.600 way but just go it was so bizarre because he's seven years old that's and that's how um i spoke

00:42:00.840 to him i spoke to his family as recently as like two three years ago because i still go back and

00:42:05.720 like donate my time you know because once you get so attached to the kids because a lot of times

00:42:09.860 the kids you know people know like when a when an older woman has a child there's like a lot of

00:42:15.540 you know, prenatal issues and all that can be. But a lot of young women have, you know, 0.99

00:42:20.400 really young 15, 16, 17 year old girls who get pregnant. Sometimes they don't have the proper 0.99

00:42:25.280 prenatal care. So their children are born with disabilities. So there was a lot of like young

00:42:28.680 moms and dads that were like, we were like the same age. They were even 10 years younger than me.

00:42:32.820 And I'm doing the show Guy Code and then coming the next morning and treating their children.

00:42:37.760 And they're like, aren't you that guy from Guy Code? Like the episode last night was about

00:42:40.720 hiding your boner. And now you're treating my child. Working with my seven year old.

00:42:44.500 you know so but it was all good all the parents you know because i was the physical therapist

00:42:48.160 where i was like it was most it's mostly women do physical therapy i was the only uh in the school

00:42:52.820 i worked i was the only male physical therapist so they there's such specific instructions like

00:42:56.620 you have to be very careful taking the children out of the wheelchair and this and that but they're

00:42:59.820 kids so i would like pick them up and like run with them like footballs and i would get in more 1.00

00:43:04.000 trouble than them because i'm like just like throwing these kids up that have like all these 0.96

00:43:07.560 issues but they're loving it you're like dude it's fucking fun you know yeah you severed his 0.80

00:43:11.480 spine chris it was fun wasn't it yeah but it's like you know no kid no kid that i like even if 0.88

00:43:18.680 like you know we you know weren't supposed to do something like threw a ball at them or took them

00:43:21.980 out of the chair they even they were loved it they were like even if it was like against their

00:43:25.800 doctor's orders they were like dude i'm seven years old because for the same reason they told

00:43:29.680 you then why are you still here why are you they don't kids don't let things things right or ideas

00:43:36.300 from other people get in the way of what they love the passion of their life and that's the

00:43:40.320 same message he conveyed too he's like yo all of this like 401k my future my like my direction in

00:43:47.220 life is all a smoke screen that put that pulls away from yeah your desire to to chase your dreams

00:43:53.560 bro kids know that money money is just energy that's all money is it's like you dude you don't

00:43:58.660 you know we get so attached to that it's like who cares i mean yeah you need enough money to live

00:44:01.980 don't get me wrong but it's like dude doing things once i had my daughter i was like why am i only 0.92

00:44:06.540 doing things for money like it's just literal energy where it's just like that i can fucking

00:44:11.740 take that or leave it as long as i have enough for her and she can do what she wants it's like 0.84

00:44:15.380 i'm never i don't care like i would never do something that i think's gonna you know i'd have

00:44:20.080 to sell my soul for for money i'd sell my soul to give her a better life you know whatever that 0.95

00:44:24.380 means for her but i wouldn't do that just for fucking and i only learned that when i became a 0.99

00:44:27.980 dad i was like oh shit life is not about the things that i thought it was about at all it's 0.99

00:44:32.340 Just about, you know, getting my kid more fucking empanadas. 0.99

00:44:35.320 That's all it said. 0.99

00:44:36.060 I got to get my kid a caputia. 0.98

00:44:38.660 Does she live in Puerto Rico? 0.98

00:44:40.760 Where'd you meet this girl? 1.00

00:44:41.780 Does she live in Puerto Rico?

00:44:43.400 Imagine, dude. 0.99

00:44:44.240 My daughter lived in Puerto Rico.

00:44:45.660 Now your daughter. 1.00

00:44:46.620 Sorry, your wife. 0.98

00:44:47.320 My wife? 1.00

00:44:47.960 It was a shitty segue. 0.98

00:44:49.100 No, no, dude.

00:44:49.920 I'm sorry.

00:44:50.440 I sparred today, dude. 0.99

00:44:51.440 I got hit in the fucking head a couple times. 1.00

00:44:52.300 Did you do it? 1.00

00:44:52.800 A couple times.

00:44:53.540 More than I would have liked.

00:44:54.260 Dude, none of the gyms are open.

00:44:55.160 Can I just work out here?

00:44:56.040 Yeah, everyone already does.

00:44:56.920 A hundred percent.

00:44:57.520 All right, I'm just going to come over.

00:44:58.640 Literally, I'm going to come over every day and work out

00:45:00.260 It's hysteria in this state

00:45:03.300 It's like, Jesus, relax 1.00

00:45:04.600 I know COVID's real, but fucking relax 0.99

00:45:06.040 How far are you from the crib? 0.99

00:45:07.440 No, 10 minutes

00:45:08.140 Bro

00:45:08.440 But you're only here for like a week, eh?

00:45:09.720 No, I'm here for two months

00:45:10.560 Oh, that's right, you said that

00:45:11.880 I'm here for two months

00:45:12.520 Yeah, I'm here for two months

00:45:13.720 So I'm just going to come

00:45:15.100 I'll let myself in

00:45:15.840 Hey, I'm serious

00:45:16.480 I swear to God

00:45:17.220 I have no

00:45:18.000 And I cannot 1.00

00:45:19.160 If my tits come back, dude, it's bad 0.99

00:45:20.860 I got like puffy nipples 0.99

00:45:22.200 And they're finally getting de-puffed a little bit 0.96

00:45:24.260 What's your diet like?

00:45:25.820 I've been using my fitness pal

00:45:27.260 For the first time ever

00:45:28.360 i've been tracking calories like i'm on weight watchers like i'm on my mom is that a brand deal

00:45:31.680 you got there no i wish but it could be youtube.com um um your wife sorry yeah my wife my wife's

00:45:38.980 girlfriend she we met actually in um in uh in brooklyn in a coney island brooklyn so a lot of

00:45:45.760 brooklyn you know yeah see he knows dylan knows coney island shut up out of his seat this kid

00:45:50.600 knows about brooklyn he fucking knows yeah it's because a lot of the like the new brooklyn like 0.80

00:45:55.360 you know gluten-free cupcakes absolutely like yes like you know quinoa they will never go to 0.90

00:46:01.400 coney island they because that's like real brooklyn people would only go out there it's too far the

00:46:05.440 train's too far but old school like you know i'm italian irish my girl's puerto rican we like it's

00:46:11.320 like catnip like we love each other we can't we can't stop so we go to this place in brooklyn

00:46:16.300 was called place to beach and um and that's the name of it and um and uh we met and literally 0.98

00:46:23.040 dude like i saw her and i was like holy shit like this is fucking me esposa right here like i have 0.94

00:46:27.680 to i have to stop my life has just changed because i saw yes because i saw my girl oh i watched your 0.98

00:46:33.760 unaired sitcom oh the cbs pilot so wait it's based on your life for real based on my life for real

00:46:38.740 for real for real yeah dude because in in the unaired sitcom yes you meet a puerto rican in a

00:46:43.880 bar yeah that's exactly how it happened that's exactly how it happened yeah my cbs sitcom pilot 0.91

00:46:47.980 which is in the trash in cbs right now it's in fucking a toilet it's not california it's not 0.82

00:46:52.040 completely in the trash i put it up on my instagram illegally they were like you can't do this i was 0.93

00:46:56.380 like stop me look at the pandemic i've probably had covid i told me i was gonna have a tv show

00:47:01.540 yeah this is it with diane guerrero who's a great actress yes she is yes she is i dm'd her this

00:47:06.740 morning because i saw this diane is the best and my father's played by chaz commentary you don't

00:47:11.460 want to stop at what he just said right there no dm her dude she can yeah i mean and she's great

00:47:15.500 she has she's she's truly like not only is she a phenomenal actress she's like a great person

00:47:20.260 I liked her enough to send her a DM

00:47:23.800 I don't know if she's going to reply

00:47:26.280 I don't know that she checks it

00:47:28.960 But dude I can

00:47:29.980 I could text her and be like hey you want to talk to Logan

00:47:32.480 If I play this though am I going to get copyright

00:47:34.620 Dude I put it on my Instagram

00:47:36.880 Yeah but if you got in trouble

00:47:37.980 I didn't get in trouble

00:47:40.140 Nobody said anything to me when I played it

00:47:42.980 When I put it on nobody said anything

00:47:44.280 I'd keep my pants on that rug

00:47:46.300 Yeah they don't care

00:47:48.180 They literally couldn't care less 0.79

00:47:49.580 hi i'm chris oh shitty acting is he guess what is he i'm here to make you smile 0.75

00:47:56.480 really yeah is that what you said to your wife what did i say that well i'm here to make you

00:48:03.900 smile the pilot probably not the pot i was i dude i was literally drinking strawberry vodka

00:48:08.700 i had like three stroke i don't really i'm a lightweight but my boy pat finnegan patty fly

00:48:13.260 ball shout out we went to his uh sister was there hanging out at this place so he was like dude you

00:48:20.360 gotta start drinking i was like i don't really drink and then he gave me like two or three

00:48:23.720 strawberry vodkas and i was lights out hammered so i think i actually walked up to my girl in real

00:48:29.540 life and told her that i was she was i was like what do you do for work and she was like oh that

00:48:33.840 she was like a zumba instructor i was like oh i'm a salsa instructor and she was like are you really

00:48:37.960 i was like absolutely and then she was like and then she was like well dance me i was like i you

00:48:41.860 number one like i can't because i have a bad knee uh no i was like number two like no you have to

00:48:47.060 come to my salsa studio and then she was like okay i'll come to your salsa studio and then um

00:48:51.920 and then i had an issue and then i very quickly like five minutes later i was like i just want

00:48:56.120 to let you know i lied to you like she was like so you immediately started this relationship that

00:49:00.420 you want off with a lie and i was like yeah and then she turned around and walked away oh i was 0.61

00:49:03.740 like oh fuck so and then and then and then but then like a week later she she messaged me and uh 1.00

00:49:10.160 and we started hanging out and then the second date she got pregnant we had a fucking bambino 0.99

00:49:15.380 right away which at first my family was like what are you doing but then as it played out i'm like 0.97

00:49:20.440 i'm so happy i did it that way because if i would have waited if you know because then like your

00:49:25.040 brain starts to play tricks on you when you're like maybe i don't like her maybe i don't love

00:49:28.800 her but like the fact that we just like i immediately was like we're connected now you

00:49:32.320 got no no it's like no now it's just like locked in we just keep finding ways to get around things

00:49:36.820 that would be red flags

00:49:38.260 that I would get out of a relationship

00:49:39.340 with anybody else on.

00:49:40.280 Yeah, like, you're like,

00:49:41.080 she tried to stab me one time, 0.85

00:49:42.380 but she does have my child.

00:49:43.760 Yes, it doesn't matter.

00:49:45.560 Yeah, dude, yeah,

00:49:46.320 like a couple of months ago,

00:49:47.160 I wouldn't give her my phone

00:49:48.080 and we live on the 12th floor

00:49:49.080 and I was like,

00:49:49.940 she was like, give me your phone.

00:49:51.200 I was like, no,

00:49:51.500 I'm not giving you my phone.

00:49:52.360 And she was like, 1.00

00:49:52.640 give me your fucking phone. 1.00

00:49:53.420 And I'm like, no, 1.00

00:49:53.880 I don't want to give you my phone.

00:49:54.560 She's like, give me your phone.

00:49:55.560 I'm like, no. 0.99

00:49:56.120 And then she kicked our air conditioner 1.00

00:49:57.200 out the window.

00:49:57.940 Nice stuff.

00:49:58.600 But, you know,

00:49:59.100 Then I just picked up the baby

00:50:00.260 and I was like,

00:50:00.580 who's hungry?

00:50:01.740 You know, like...

00:50:02.780 But this pilot was made by

00:50:04.820 Baze and Thomas

00:50:06.180 who made How I Met Your Mother.

00:50:08.860 So that show,

00:50:09.360 How I Met Your Mother.

00:50:10.280 That's why it's... 0.56

00:50:10.960 It looks exactly like

00:50:11.900 How I Met Your Mother 0.98

00:50:12.420 because it was the guys

00:50:13.140 who created it.

00:50:14.040 They saw me doing stand-up

00:50:15.000 in a comedy club

00:50:15.680 just yelling at the comedy seller

00:50:17.460 about my life

00:50:18.120 and they were like,

00:50:18.480 we should make a TV show.

00:50:19.680 Why did this not get picked up?

00:50:20.960 Because I actually liked you in it

00:50:22.900 and I like the cast too.

00:50:24.320 There's a couple, 0.83

00:50:24.800 besides Diane, 1.00

00:50:25.520 there's a couple of heavy hitters in it. 0.93

00:50:27.120 Who's played your dad?

00:50:28.140 Chaz Palminteri.

00:50:29.100 Like, who's the lead of a Bronx Tale?

00:50:30.840 And now, dude, Chaz Palminteri, first of all, Bronx Tale is like, that's like the movie.

00:50:34.800 If you're like an Italian kid growing up in Warner Bros., it's like, that's the movie.

00:50:38.840 And like, now that guy played my dad, we're like legit friends.

00:50:41.160 Like, Chaz and I are like, and he just started a podcast too.

00:50:44.100 I think it's called The Chaz Palminteri Show, which is great because he talks about like all like behind the scenes of a Bronx Tale.

00:50:50.080 And he's going to have like Robert, like people who would never do a podcast like Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci are just like Chaz's friends.

00:50:55.540 They're just going to do it with him.

00:50:57.180 And so, but yeah, Chaz played my dad.

00:50:59.080 Annie Potts played my mom, who's from like Designing Women and the original Ghostbusters movie, The Receptionist.

00:51:06.000 You've seen Annie Potts.

00:51:07.020 She played my mom.

00:51:07.820 She was great. 1.00

00:51:08.680 And it just didn't get picked up, I think, because, you know, because fucking Les Moonves sexually assaulted me. 0.99

00:51:14.400 What did you say? 0.99

00:51:15.120 Oh, is that what happened?

00:51:15.660 That's what it is.

00:51:16.320 Yeah.

00:51:16.960 What did you say?

00:51:17.740 Yeah, yeah.

00:51:18.620 I'm kidding.

00:51:19.640 No, he got in trouble. 1.00

00:51:21.500 Les Moonves got in trouble like a year after for like fucking whatever bullshit canceled. 0.99

00:51:25.560 So I was like, I don't know. 0.99

00:51:26.860 I don't know the story, but blame it on that.

00:51:28.700 I'll just blame it on that.

00:51:29.660 No, I think it didn't get picked up because I think that, you know, I learned that I learned

00:51:34.200 the business part of Hollywood doing that sitcom is like a lot of like the production

00:51:38.900 companies that like make a pilot, like they're all in house at CBS where my pilot was made

00:51:44.480 by Sony production company and they didn't have a deal with CBS.

00:51:48.240 So it kind of feels like I'm sure there was some creative problems, but it felt like the

00:51:52.800 most thing was like it was business stuff.

00:51:54.660 and it was crazy dude because i was literally on a flight from sanford i put my whole a year 2016

00:52:01.040 was just dedicated to doing this pilot in cbs going back and forth to la i had a little daughter

00:52:06.440 you know she was one by the time the pilot doesn't get picked up she's like two and i'm just like

00:52:10.860 missing moments in my daughter's life because i'm like this is it i'm going to put all my eggs in

00:52:14.020 the tv basket which i learned a great lesson so so um the day that they're picking up the pilots

00:52:19.580 all the i'm sitting on a plane in san francisco going back to new york and all the deadline

00:52:25.380 articles are coming out like hey cbs picked up these four shows and boom boom boom and mine's

00:52:29.840 not on it so i text my agent and i'm like i guess you know we're done like whatever he goes no no

00:52:34.340 no he goes we just got a call from cbs they're going to pick one more show up mid-season pickup

00:52:40.300 it's between you and this other show some show about like the bible they were like i was like

00:52:45.640 okay so i tell my mom like yo ma you gotta start lighting candles in church we're up against the 0.96

00:52:49.460 fucking bible so i'm like i'm like you gotta start praying to whatever you can so so so so um they're 0.93

00:52:55.720 like so it's not out of the woods yet and they said unless movies and the cbs people are going 0.99

00:52:58.600 to make the decision in 10 minutes and i'm like i'm on a runway like the the flight attendant

00:53:03.020 were like literally like moving up yeah you were like oh you're second for takeoff and i'm like

00:53:07.580 she's like can you please put your phone in airplane mode can you please put your phone

00:53:10.240 in airplane mode and i'm like i'm like it's in airplane mode and i just like turn it right off

00:53:14.180 and then whatever and i'm looking and i swear to god dude as like we're accelerating like the 0.93

00:53:19.460 fucking agent text comes through they went with the bible no my head i swear to god i swear to 0.94

00:53:26.900 god as we're going up like you know the momentum just pushes your head back i push my head back 0.99

00:53:31.520 into the chair for two hours i just looked at the ceiling like that little you know like the thing 0.98

00:53:37.040 the air it was just blowing in my eye it was just for two hours then i had like a fucking pinot 0.93

00:53:41.980 you know drank one and just got smashed on the plane but i what the lesson i learned was one 0.93

00:53:46.640 you know you know especially with like entertainment like i waited for somebody

00:53:51.840 else to give me something and i would never make that mistake again now i'll just do

00:53:55.000 my own thing i'll create my own content i'd rather just create my own stuff and i'm in charge and

00:53:59.700 even if it's less money i'd rather just do that and two you know really like only i really this

00:54:07.340 was only like i i made it like this is going to change me and my family's life expectations because

00:54:12.360 my daughter who was two and a half at the time when i got home and i was like and she was like

00:54:17.340 you know i i sat my whole family down i was like you know that show that daddy was doing well it

00:54:21.840 didn't get picked up and so my daughter was like i never forgot she was eating a pancake with her

00:54:25.940 hands she was just like eating a pancake with her head and she goes um she was like okay she was

00:54:30.280 like so we can't go to the park then and i was like no of course we can go to the park and she

00:54:35.140 was like okay but you said that like there was a big problem because i've said oh we i said we have

00:54:40.220 a big problem daddy show didn't get picked up and she was like oh but we can't go to the park then

00:54:43.360 and i was like no of course we can go to the park and she was like so let's just go to the park and

00:54:47.320 then it kind of was like a lesson i was pushing in the swing it was a lesson like dude this is

00:54:51.640 what life this is your life your life on a second just push your daughter in the swing who cares

00:54:55.740 about cbs i love it what movie i love it it's beautiful and you're right and i know you're

00:55:00.800 beautiful no thank you i know the simplicity of what happened there was awesome yes uh i'm not

00:55:08.920 dude i got a red beard like what what do you mean you got a red beard my beard is red like what so

00:55:13.280 what dude but but my that's what happens when you wash it a lot blonde guys get red beard no bro

00:55:18.040 what red beard what girl goes oh yeah i like pale white white blonde dudes with red beards like

00:55:23.700 are you kidding me you got clout you got clout no feel the scaliness of my hands dude i but i like 0.99

00:55:28.780 that dude you like a fucking viking that vlogs you're the vlogging viking i'm the vlogging viking 1.00

00:55:33.020 some women are into vlogging viking 100 dude now but listen what if she said she said what's the 0.99

00:55:37.620 problem don't feel his hands they're silk i felt his hands already no you'll it'll make you question 0.97

00:55:42.540 yourself it'll make me hard i don't need blue shoe when i got this kid's hands uh what if what if

00:55:49.020 you had to really answer your daughter's question like what if you were in a pinch and you're like

00:55:52.960 well you know honey it's a big problem because we won't be making money and which means we're

00:55:58.040 gonna lose this house which means you're not gonna be able to go to the private school that

00:56:00.520 we sent you to which means you're not gonna have the food on your table that we promised you every

00:56:03.460 night and you really get into it like that particular circumstance i get it and your

00:56:07.820 daughter's sentiment is i mean the the the naivety of kids is beautiful it was what we were talking

00:56:13.200 about they don't understand and uh make everything as complex as we do as adults which is awesome

00:56:19.200 but you were able to skate by yeah there's someone i feel like out there who that is a big

00:56:24.840 like i you know i didn't get that promotion right i actually got let go of today you don't know

00:56:29.520 people that's happened especially with the pandemic i mean that probably happened to

00:56:32.900 hundreds of thousands maybe millions of families but i just think you know you make your life

00:56:37.220 smaller like i make i've made my world and my life a lot smaller like even like when we get

00:56:43.320 caught up in like you know all the issues that are going on like i woke up today everything was fine

00:56:49.280 on my block my family and everybody was healthy if anybody needed my help with anything i would

00:56:54.440 help them in a heartbeat but like if you go on but also on twitter was like the koala bears are

00:56:59.080 going extinct because of the australian wildfires i'm like dude i've never even seen a koala bear

00:57:03.080 like except when i go to the bronx zoo and i'm on mushrooms you know what i mean and i talk to them

00:57:07.160 i'm like i have chlamydia too they all have chlamydia yeah but but i'm just like so i that's

00:57:13.540 what i would do is just make my life like you know be like okay we can't do the private school we

00:57:17.040 don't have this house but like you know we still have the park we still can eat we still can we

00:57:20.760 still have each other like that's what i think as a family like that's why i feel very protected

00:57:25.180 because i'm like oh i might as long as my family's on my side i don't care at all dude we have we

00:57:30.100 have it even easier because we don't even have a family we have each other but i've boiled it down

00:57:34.560 to like if i'm alive in my body and healthy in that body like if i if i got this like i'm good

00:57:41.820 i'm good i can and then even if like it's like people get so it's like dude we're all gonna die

00:57:46.620 one day like so it's like what's the difference it's like it's all gonna end anyway so it's like 0.86

00:57:50.600 just fucking relax guy oh he doesn't think he's gonna die he didn't know he didn't know you were 0.93

00:57:55.120 gonna die yeah dude 100 dude you kind of look like what you kind of look like is like a new 0.99

00:58:01.820 age jesus like i feel like jesus came back this would be the key this is exactly what he'd look 0.82

00:58:06.980 like it's just a kind of he's also like the biggest christian ever like walks around and

00:58:11.500 He quotes, you know, he quotes all day, like John 3, 16 says, and really, are you Christian

00:58:16.860 or Jewish? 0.89

00:58:17.540 Extremely. 1.00

00:58:17.840 No, no, no. 0.93

00:58:18.340 I'm not Jewish.

00:58:19.100 Are you Greek?

00:58:20.360 No.

00:58:21.460 I don't know.

00:58:21.940 What?

00:58:22.620 I'm a Syrian.

00:58:23.280 A Coptic Christian.

00:58:25.240 Yeah. 0.78

00:58:26.140 Coptic Christian?

00:58:27.620 I don't know what that means.

00:58:29.620 Oh, I thought the Middle Eastern, like Egyptians, like there's a Coptic Christianity.

00:58:34.020 It's like a sect of Christianity.

00:58:35.880 What type of Christian are you?

00:58:37.020 Like I'm Catholic.

00:58:37.700 So Assyrians in general are more orthodox

00:58:40.740 Like Catholics of the east 0.99

00:58:43.160 So like Khan is 1.00

00:58:44.180 Regardless I just

00:58:46.000 I just have Jesus in my life 1.00

00:58:48.140 Dude I got fucking Catholic tattoos 1.00

00:58:50.800 All over my body I got a cross on my back 1.00

00:58:52.380 It's like I'm fighting in a crusade that doesn't exist

00:58:54.220 Dude you're on my squad

00:58:56.200 Let's go

00:58:56.860 And I leave with love too

00:58:58.740 That's why when you were talking about this

00:58:59.860 I do I wouldn't kill Hitler

00:59:01.640 You wouldn't kill Hitler 1.00

00:59:03.040 Well that's a stupid mistake 1.00

00:59:05.080 Why would you absolutely not... 1.00

00:59:08.020 You should kill Hitler. 1.00

00:59:09.140 No, my theory on it is I won't kill anybody 1.00

00:59:11.400 because I don't want to remove their chances of being forgiven, one,

00:59:14.560 or making a better decision in life.

00:59:16.360 It's a good point.

00:59:17.700 Listen, good people do bad things.

00:59:18.980 Bad people do good things.

00:59:19.960 It's what it is, baby.

00:59:20.840 Your headshot on IMDb is...

00:59:22.560 The worst.

00:59:23.280 No, it's...

00:59:24.060 That's pretty...

00:59:24.900 Wow.

00:59:25.740 What is that?

00:59:26.360 Wow.

00:59:26.700 I'm never changing it.

00:59:27.760 I got hit on you at a local Trader Joe's once.

00:59:31.140 Dude, I swear to God,

00:59:32.460 that literally

00:59:33.180 I have a friend

00:59:33.860 who did photography

00:59:35.020 his name is Vinny

00:59:36.140 like a vampire

00:59:37.540 and we took this

00:59:38.040 you know dude

00:59:39.080 we took that

00:59:39.680 on Bath Avenue

00:59:40.620 in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn

00:59:41.560 out of his garage

00:59:42.420 this is a thick tie

00:59:44.780 I noticed you could see

00:59:45.640 the outline of it

00:59:46.560 even through the shirt

00:59:47.400 I was still in

00:59:47.980 physical therapy school

00:59:48.740 that was when I was still

00:59:49.720 that was my last year

00:59:50.660 of physical therapy school

00:59:51.600 they let you near kids

00:59:51.720 like that?

00:59:52.380 yeah no

00:59:52.700 this was 2010

00:59:53.700 I was in my last year

00:59:55.480 of physical therapy school

00:59:56.280 yeah dude

00:59:57.040 and that's when

00:59:58.080 I started comedy

00:59:58.760 I started doing open mics

00:59:59.620 at this place

00:59:59.980 called the Maui Taco

01:00:01.040 the maui taco the maui taco you ever been there no i can't say yeah dude the maui taco that's

01:00:08.260 when i started in 2010 started doing stand-up yep i started doing stand-up this year did you

01:00:12.780 yeah i started this small thing called a joe coy show oh really that's where i started you

01:00:17.600 just put me on stage and i tried like like like theater joe coy the what do you mean like he uh

01:00:23.140 like he was doing a theater show and you went out and did stand-up he brought me on stage i just

01:00:26.740 started oh god how'd it go uh amazing really yeah how often do you do it uh anytime he lets me so

01:00:33.000 but do you really want to do stand-up i love stand-up you know what i'm saying but you got

01:00:36.080 because you know what's something the owner of gotham comedy club this guy chris mazzilli great

01:00:39.520 guy when i was doing comedy i was taking i took a comedy class when i first started what's i was

01:00:44.200 like 24 i was like my you know she was like what do you want for your birthday i was like can you

01:00:47.880 buy me this comedy class i had no money so she bought it for me just to like get comfortable

01:00:51.120 with the microphone and all that and we were doing the classes and i would do it like you just once

01:00:55.680 a week I was like oh I got on stage oh yes it's great you know and then but I really wanted to do

01:01:00.940 it and then Chris Mazzilli came in the owner of Gotham who's owned the club for 20 years knows

01:01:04.580 everybody you know anybody you've ever heard of Chris Mazzilli's put him on his stage and he says

01:01:09.120 to the class there was 19 of us and he goes if any of you wanted he goes first of all statistically

01:01:14.520 none of you are ever going to make it none of you are ever going to make money in this I'm not

01:01:17.580 saying to discourage you I'm just telling you how hard it is in entertainment it is so difficult

01:01:21.900 to make money in any form of entertainment but specifically stand-up it is so so so hard he was

01:01:28.040 like so most of you will never make it probably out of statistically 19 none of you will come back

01:01:33.900 he's like but if there might be one of you who hears what i'm about to say and then i was just 0.86

01:01:39.540 like i'm gonna hear what this guy's fucking say like i remember like my my head being like i'm 0.68

01:01:43.180 listening i'm listening i'm gonna be the guy and you know and and this was before bluetooth even 0.98

01:01:47.720 came out i was already just out of my mind nuts before years before blue chill so i was like i

01:01:52.960 was like i'm listening and he used because i played basketball in high school and college

01:01:56.300 so he so i was like um he said he said an nba athlete a basketball player they don't just play

01:02:03.460 the games they practice every single day they eat sleep and breathe basketball jump shooting and

01:02:10.060 defense and everything he said for comedians it is the exact same if you want if you want to just

01:02:14.380 do it as a hobby do it as a hobby but if you want to be a professional comedian it has to become

01:02:18.860 your life you have to sacrifice things you have to ruin relationships like this how you have to

01:02:23.760 be obsessed with it or you're all wasting your time if you want to make it if you just start

01:02:27.540 doing this for shits and giggles and a dare then please enjoy the stage we love having you but i 0.99

01:02:31.920 was like i'm gonna be that guy i'm gonna be that fucking guy and then and then then i changed then 0.98

01:02:36.660 i started doing 40 sets a month that was like the goal in new york city get on stage 40 sets a month 0.96

01:02:41.180 i would do stand up till like three o'clock in the morning and then wake up at seven you know

01:02:46.100 to get the kids when i was working as a physical therapist off the bus work burn the candle at

01:02:50.040 both ends ruin relationships you know all that mother threw me out of the house all these things

01:02:54.000 that i not that i was and i just wasn't even realizing that i was doing exactly what he said

01:02:58.380 you had to do and then kind of like just like kept going kept going got on the david letterman show

01:03:03.620 and then i was like you know still not even thinking about gotham i had forgot what chris

01:03:07.620 even said i was just like boom boom boom going going going and then in like 2015 i for the first

01:03:15.280 time i headlined gotham comedy club his club and i was sitting there and he was like oh hey because

01:03:19.920 i had never actually met him i had just seen him that time you know five six years before but he

01:03:25.320 shook my hand he was like hey he was like uh he was like we're happy to have you at the club i'm 0.83

01:03:28.760 chris he was like uh it's nice to meet you and i and then it hit me i was like oh shit i'm that guy

01:03:33.620 I was the guy that he said if one of you listened because he said nobody will ever headline my club 0.98

01:03:39.020 most likely none of you will ever headline I was like I'm headlining this fucking club I can't 0.95

01:03:42.640 believe this but then you know and I was like I dedicated my whole life to it so now that's why 0.96

01:03:46.820 it's interesting to hear you say it because I feel like I've now given my life every every day I got

01:03:51.520 to go up on stage with a suitcase full of anxiety and depression and just do it I have no way to

01:03:56.560 back out now now I have put all the eggs in that basket and that is for my family but if I if it

01:04:02.100 was 2021 i would look at and be like why would i start comedy like they attack comedians and it

01:04:07.720 feels like you can't say anything but you're brave you're starting it now and gonna do it now 0.98

01:04:12.200 and i kind of i think that's really kind of really cool and very very brave fucked up shit too dude 0.98

01:04:17.420 you got to he's worse than on this show yeah here's the reason why uh i truly believe this 0.97

01:04:23.340 with all my heart i i only really do fear about what god thinks of me so when i can't i grew up

01:04:28.660 hated so much that it was like if you hated me it's like all right add them to the list like

01:04:31.600 everybody right like i don't even think my mom and dad really loves me that much like right i

01:04:36.320 i only do things that i love and if i honor god and i make sure when i go to bed i'm a good person

01:04:41.080 i'm fine with it right and getting canceled to me it's okay i've made enough money and my parents

01:04:45.120 are rich so i could just go back i love how too before the podcast started i was doing all these 0.78

01:04:49.820 jokes like i'm gonna jerk you off under the table i'm gonna milk you and then you're just talking 0.98

01:04:53.140 about how much you love god i feel like an idiot i'm sorry i apologize to you that you're such a 1.00

01:04:57.620 And I was talking about what I would manipulate in your genitalia, 0.99

01:05:01.920 and I just want to say I'm sorry. 0.99

01:05:03.040 I love Jesus, and I love you as a fellow Christian. 0.99

01:05:05.360 You're a liar. 0.98

01:05:06.300 You never did any of those things. 1.00

01:05:07.960 Jesus doesn't like liars.

01:05:09.240 I did.

01:05:09.660 I was yelling.

01:05:10.240 You never milked me once.

01:05:11.700 I was going to.

01:05:13.660 What do you think this is?

01:05:14.580 No.

01:05:16.940 But, yeah, no, it's really fun.

01:05:18.800 And I could, it's the first time this year I could say,

01:05:21.520 but getting on stage is, I told Logan right away,

01:05:24.260 you've got to get on stage.

01:05:25.000 Dude, it's cathartic.

01:05:25.400 It's a different feeling.

01:05:25.900 it's cathartic and it's and it's free man it's a place to be free it's like i can get my opinions

01:05:30.060 across sometimes when you tweet something it's like you're taking out of context no good but if

01:05:33.580 you just let me go up there and talk about things it's like and it's so fun to get your opinions out

01:05:38.820 when you think like you know like last week i was on stage in phoenix when they canceled potato head

01:05:43.640 when they said it's no more mr potato head that was just potato head and i just i was up there

01:05:47.260 and be like listen dude like i have both mr potato head and mrs potato head my potato has 0.82

01:05:52.180 been transgender since 1991 dude i take potato head's arm put it on mrs potato head's crotch and 0.99

01:05:57.060 give it a penis and put the lips of mrs potato head on mr potato give it a vagina like i'm having 0.99

01:06:02.040 fun with potato head you know so i just felt like and i could get it and the audience can laugh and 0.99

01:06:06.460 you know because sometimes the audience is scared and or people are scared at home they're like oh

01:06:10.380 this world like i can't do anything or they're so mad about potato head and then like you come out

01:06:15.220 and you're like oh this guy's just being silly about because the potato thing is just that that

01:06:19.100 to me is telling me like oh the pandemic's almost over now if they if they have if we have the time

01:06:23.120 for potato head now i'm like okay so now we can get back to normal because because 2020 the pandemic

01:06:28.500 was a big was the biggest problem that we have and we had a right to be upset and it dominated the

01:06:33.580 news and everyone's but before that i was like oh we're making problem things are so good in america 0.97

01:06:37.780 we're just making shit up i mean 2019 the biggest problem was the fucking straws it's like people 0.99

01:06:43.000 like what straw are you using plastic you nazi scumbag oh this is a symptom we are a great nation 1.00

01:06:47.960 if your literal biggest issue is you're worried about the turtles in Australia. 0.99

01:06:52.040 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:06:52.620 But now when the pandy hit, it's like the shit hit the fan. 0.99

01:06:55.340 Now it's like people are dying, you know, like the economy's crippled. 0.99

01:06:59.160 So now it's like, oh, this is a real ish.

01:07:02.640 But once I heard Potato Head, I was like, oh, wow, we're getting back.

01:07:05.900 We're back.

01:07:06.480 I want to also ask a question to the group, pose a question to the group. 0.99

01:07:09.720 Where the fuck has ISIS been? 0.98

01:07:11.560 Has anyone – I mean, are they quarantining? 0.99

01:07:14.220 from what i think from what i understand uh donald trump killed all of them no that's what i heard

01:07:19.140 i know that's yeah i think he went over they went away when the pandy wandy came out they went away

01:07:23.500 i think they're doing uh some minor rogue attacks in uh european countries i think i think and being

01:07:29.420 a youtube guy yourself i mean you got to say isis excellent edits on the beheading videos i mean the

01:07:34.860 way they cut to the beautiful drone shots i mean this is what you want they have whole production

01:07:40.120 teams they do have a production team you should get i would i think you get a job moonlighting

01:07:43.740 for isis they probably pay good money not getting i don't i'm not i'm not about what they're saying 0.71

01:07:47.220 i don't want to behead people and i'm not about the infidel life but i would i mean it'd be a

01:07:50.760 nice entry-level job and learning how to edit learning how to edit yeah if you work behind

01:07:55.540 the scenes you almost made it the whole podcast without getting canceled no almost it's impossible

01:07:59.940 if you're from brooklyn this is what i learned yeah good luck it's like what dude that's why

01:08:03.960 my daughter again i also have a multi-racial child that's why i have a puerto rican daughter i did it

01:08:07.880 for my career i'm uncanceable what are you gonna do i need to buy my daughter my puerto ricans

01:08:12.400 will come out and be like, you know, on my side.

01:08:14.780 Yeah, dude. No, but why would... No, dude,

01:08:16.460 we're fine. Don't look me

01:08:18.420 in this shit. What do you mean? It's your side of the 1.00

01:08:20.340 table. What are you talking about?

01:08:21.880 Every shot of him saying

01:08:24.420 that he's going to moonlight for ISIS has you 0.99

01:08:26.320 in it. You're right next to him.

01:08:27.240 Me like this.

01:08:30.400 Chris DiStefano and George Janko

01:08:32.300 came out on the show. Your name's George

01:08:34.380 Janko? 1.00

01:08:36.920 That's a fucking great name. 0.99

01:08:38.480 I feel like that's a name 0.99

01:08:42.180 like my daughter would come up with for like one of her dolls like daddy this one's george janko

01:08:45.800 george janko i like it and it's facing you george janko oh at george janko on instagram

01:08:54.460 at christy comedy on instagram could you see george janko like as a name rot riding on a

01:08:59.780 unicycle making a balloon animal for you kind of yes today i'm gonna make you a dog george janko's

01:09:05.040 got mime energy absolutely he's got parisian mime energy i got a mime energy but that's

01:09:10.280 cluster phobic so like freak out you're a good kid george i mean only kids are good i mean how

01:09:15.620 great is this group i'm not a kid i'm probably older than you man no dude i'm 36 well welcome

01:09:20.060 to the club so am i 36 yeah but you didn't do heroin it saved me 10 years of my life it actually

01:09:24.260 oh you did heroin yeah it puts you in like a sarcophagus and keeps your skin clear it happens

01:09:28.060 dude where did you where were you doing h only place you do h connecticut oh dude oh you're an 0.94

01:09:32.600 east coast guy too fucking look at us northeast guys not too far 203 to fairfield county well 0.56

01:09:37.900 Beautiful, dude. 0.96

01:09:38.620 New Haven.

01:09:39.320 They just lifted all the restrictions in Connecticut.

01:09:40.940 Connecticut, dude.

01:09:41.760 One of the first states.

01:09:43.560 One of the first East Coast states.

01:09:45.040 Yeah, but I mean, like, yo, Texas started doing it.

01:09:47.160 I was like, that makes sense.

01:09:48.280 Arizona, Miami never had it, obviously.

01:09:50.280 They skipped the pandemic.

01:09:51.420 Yeah.

01:09:51.700 But then when I saw Connecticut open up, you know, Mayor DeStefano or whatever his name.

01:09:56.420 I don't know his name.

01:09:57.420 Yeah.

01:09:57.600 Yeah, it's your dad. 1.00

01:09:58.560 Cuomo is fucking New York governor. 1.00

01:10:00.880 Do you hate him like everybody else? 1.00

01:10:02.240 You know what?

01:10:03.120 I've never seen a guy in my life go from first to worst quicker than Cuomo.

01:10:07.720 I mean, this guy was a legend in New York.

01:10:11.820 Like, he was putting up numbers.

01:10:13.500 Like, everybody's like, we love Cuomo.

01:10:14.780 We love Cuomo.

01:10:15.760 March, April, May.

01:10:16.540 We're like, this guy, I'm voting for this guy for president.

01:10:18.040 And then he just, you know, he got the ego.

01:10:20.180 He got a big head. 0.98

01:10:21.440 He just became that egotistical narcissist maniac where I'm like, guy, slow down. 1.00

01:10:26.900 Stop talking to us like idiots. 1.00

01:10:27.860 And I kind of felt in the summer, I'm like, this is not going to end well for him. 1.00

01:10:30.800 And now it's all the bullshit with the nursing home. 0.98

01:10:33.640 But you got to track. 0.99

01:10:35.960 But you got to track.

01:10:37.040 Wait, what is he?

01:10:38.660 He's the governor of New York.

01:10:39.820 No, there's Chris Cuomo's his brother.

01:10:41.360 Chris Cuomo's his brother on CNN.

01:10:42.740 But you got a track record of it there

01:10:44.820 because you think Cuomo's the first to do it.

01:10:48.160 But before Cuomo, coming out of New York City,

01:10:50.740 there was a man that people looked at as a god.

01:10:53.180 Rudy Giuliani. 1.00

01:10:53.820 Rudy fucking Giuliani. 1.00

01:10:55.920 Quindous! 1.00

01:10:57.420 No one has dropped the ball harder than fucking Giuliani. 1.00

01:11:02.900 Rudy G on 9-11? 1.00

01:11:05.560 Savior.

01:11:06.000 God. 0.99

01:11:06.400 fucking hero god almighty has come down in a vessel a human vessel through rudy julian let me 0.99

01:11:13.200 ask you this you in connecticut area northeast so you felt you know i lived in new york but 0.98

01:11:17.400 feeling 9-11 on the east coast no people that were on the 105th floor same with me dude how

01:11:22.060 about this i play basketball i was i was 16 years old playing in a basketball league at fdny fire

01:11:26.740 fire department new york basketball league that had all active duty firefighters and each team

01:11:30.980 would pick like one high school kids and like it was like a thing like everybody's got a high so i

01:11:35.380 was the high school kid on this fdny team eight of my teammates died in 9-11 eight of them were

01:11:40.480 supposed to play the championship game wednesday september uh wednesday september 12th we were

01:11:45.220 supposed to play eight of them passed away but so new york you know 9-11 hits you know guys you

01:11:50.780 know like us from the northeast quicker when i didn't masturbate i remember at all i didn't not 0.53

01:11:56.140 once i felt like it was sacrilegious george i wouldn't do it i wouldn't i wouldn't you know 0.91

01:12:00.080 desecrate our jesus like that i didn't jerk off at all on nine uh from 9-11 until the first week 0.57

01:12:05.160 of october when we declared war in iraq did you do the same thing i made i held it in i made it 0.59

01:12:09.460 about three weeks but i was so into giuliani that one day he gave a press conference and i broke 0.99

01:12:13.860 you broke yeah jerked off through to giuliani giving a press conference man it's fucked up 0.97

01:12:18.580 and now i can't now i can't how crazy is that that the 9-11 east coast thing is like such a 0.99

01:12:23.220 it's such a connection it really is yeah because everybody knew somebody who died but it's going

01:12:27.520 it's it's crazy to imagine that it's kind of like the 20 years later is like kind of i think it'll

01:12:32.760 We'll feel it forever as East Coast guys, but it just, it almost feels like it's fading out a little bit.

01:12:37.380 It's a weird thing.

01:12:37.900 You know what's a weird thing?

01:12:38.700 Because I remember, I remember in the neighborhood in Brooklyn where I live, on 9-11, after 9-11, those weeks after 9-11, you wouldn't see a car or a house without the American flag.

01:12:51.720 Absolutely.

01:12:52.120 Everybody had that flag.

01:12:53.500 Absolutely.

01:12:53.740 Every single person, flag, flag, flag. 0.99

01:12:55.300 Then during the pandemic, same kind of eerie feeling like shit shut down. 1.00

01:12:59.560 if you have an american flag you're a people are like you're a scumbag what'd you vote for trump 1.00

01:13:04.040 you're a scumbag it's so crazy how in just 20 years like that whole symbol of the flag shifted 1.00

01:13:10.320 and i'm blaming it on the russians i think they've infiltrated us from within and they're 1.00

01:13:14.460 dividing us from within on or the chinese or the chinese and it's warfare because we're not going

01:13:18.660 to invade mainland china or mainland russia and they're not going to invade us that's not how

01:13:22.340 world war 3 is going to happen baby we're doing this stuff on the internet and i feel like that

01:13:26.740 That, to me, was like, this isn't us, man.

01:13:28.780 This is somebody got inside our heads and separated us because it's crazy how, like, in 20 years, the flag is complete opposite meanings now.

01:13:36.460 By the way, you wouldn't know this.

01:13:38.020 None of us would on the show because they don't telecast like we do from those countries, but we're doing the same thing.

01:13:43.760 You know what I'm saying?

01:13:44.400 By the way, we're doing far worse.

01:13:46.660 You know what I'm saying? 0.97

01:13:47.020 That China-Russia-U.S. connection is so much deeper than people fucking understand. 0.93

01:13:51.680 It's been going since the Cold War. 0.84

01:13:52.960 It's been going since post-World War II. 1.00

01:13:54.960 Dude, it's dirty shit. 1.00

01:13:55.540 It's all war tactics. 1.00

01:13:56.380 Yeah, dude, I understand a terrorist group that gets so upset and wants to become a terrorist because the United States or some Western country bomb their family and kill their family.

01:14:06.540 I get it, dude.

01:14:07.440 Just like the same where they should get.

01:14:09.060 Like when, you know, if you're like causing us harm and killing us, you start to think about like when does it end?

01:14:14.520 Like I love history.

01:14:15.640 I love learning about American history from the eyes of the enemy.

01:14:18.960 Other country. 0.51

01:14:19.520 I like learning it from what's the point of view of Japan, what's the point of view of Germany, what's the point of view of the Middle East.

01:14:24.120 That's where you got to really learn it.

01:14:25.300 Because America, it's like, you know, the winners write the history books like, oh, Paul Revere, the Declaration of Independence. 1.00

01:14:30.100 It's all bullshit. 0.99

01:14:30.740 Well, you got to learn the other way. 1.00

01:14:32.180 The ISIS shit and those people over there, the tricky thing about that that a lot of people don't understand is like they're fighting with our weapons. 0.99

01:14:38.420 Sure. 1.00

01:14:38.880 We gave them those weapons.

01:14:39.980 We literally gave them the weapon.

01:14:41.680 At the end of the first ramble, they give a shout out to the Taliban. 0.59

01:14:45.640 Right, right. 0.87

01:14:45.980 Because they're like, the Taliban was on our side. 0.99

01:14:47.600 And then they have to edit it out when it's on TBS now because they're like, oh, shit, can't shut out the Taliban. 0.99

01:14:52.100 It's just a load. 1.00

01:14:53.120 Shit. 1.00

01:14:53.940 You know? 1.00

01:14:54.460 So it's one.

01:14:54.960 Yeah, dude. 0.82

01:14:55.200 history is my shit i love history it's so interesting oh god it's the best dude history 0.96

01:14:59.560 is i used to do a podcast called the history hyena shout out yannis pompis my uh co-host on that um 0.98

01:15:05.020 we stopped doing that podcast but that was fucking dope too is talking about history every week where 0.90

01:15:11.060 it's like dude i was learning so much because it's easy to just get mad at something that you 0.88

01:15:16.300 see on the internet that's a one minute edited thing on tiktok or instagram and you're like oh

01:15:21.360 this has happened in history but then when you start if you actually sit down and read

01:15:25.160 and try to do the research you're like wait a second there's a lot of sides to every story and

01:15:29.460 i don't i understand like i feel blessed to be a comedian be have the time to read and research i

01:15:34.120 know the people working nine to five or longer don't have the time i i get it but i do feel

01:15:39.180 that's a big problem in our country is we don't we're working on working so hard the common people

01:15:44.180 are working so hard they can't they don't have time to really learn what the truth is headline

01:15:47.920 culture we talk about this a lot we talk about this a lot yeah people people see something they

01:15:52.780 see somebody's being canceled for this reason and the way that we're we're breeding now or or the

01:15:58.320 way we're acting is to just accept that and then and then further inflame it yo wow this person 0.99

01:16:03.280 getting canceled for this reason i better tweet about it yo fuck this person my daughter any and 0.99

01:16:07.560 this is just again my personal opinion just being a father but anything any my daughter i want her 0.99

01:16:13.220 to learn about the enemies and the bad parts of our history because i need her to know about i

01:16:19.000 don't want to you can't just erase the confederacy you know what i mean you can't just erase

01:16:23.080 nazis you can't do that because she needs to learn about why that happened and and so we don't make 0.80

01:16:28.420 the same mistakes absolutely the people just want to erase it i'm like what the fuck is wrong with

01:16:32.700 you dude you're erasing it like i almost now now i'm now i'm looking at you now i'm like what are 0.99

01:16:36.440 you hiding you fucking confederate nazi that you want me to rip down that statue 0.98

01:16:39.760 you know i don't know what i'm talking about sometimes so i apologize i just flip and then 1.00

01:16:47.200 i just feel the energy go in the room and i'm like well i'm bombing so what can you do 0.98

01:16:50.320 you look at the camera and you plug your shit george janko everybody follow me on instagram 0.98

01:16:56.580 at george janko oh no yeah dude i got i try to they try to cancel me once but they use the wrong 0.99

01:17:02.360 name. What did they try to cancel you for?

01:17:04.540 What did you do? I don't want to go back

01:17:06.380 into it. Basically, this is what

01:17:08.360 happened. I'll tell you. What the fuck?

01:17:11.140 He asked me, is it 1.00

01:17:12.380 manly if a guy wears a dress?

01:17:14.300 I was like, I didn't think it was manly.

01:17:16.740 It was when Harry Styles

01:17:18.140 wears a dress.

01:17:20.140 That's what they got mad at me about. George took the traditional

01:17:22.260 approach. That's all. No, it's not the traditional

01:17:24.300 approach. When you go into a store and you ask

01:17:26.340 the guy, hey. You're not going to double down now.

01:17:28.500 You said what you said.

01:17:29.980 It's the traditional approach. Dude, make a Patreon.

01:17:32.360 i'm not coming at anybody it's just yeah no i get it dude but that's what i'm saying it's all 0.99

01:17:40.020 it's all words speak louder than actions you're a good guy you love god you're fucking so creepy 0.60

01:17:44.260 actually as much you love god you're such a good person and but people want to take one word and 0.98

01:17:49.180 take it out of context that's the bullshit i'm telling you dude i really feel like as a people 0.53

01:17:53.180 we're just gonna start because people are caring less and less even now if you notice like even 0.97

01:17:57.540 when the news keeps tries to keep us fearful when they're like there's a new strain the narnia

01:18:01.660 strain that's johnson and johnson vaccine doesn't fix the narnia this is the reaction yeah we're 0.98

01:18:06.500 like fuck you dude they're like you have to triple mask now you have to if you're going to an airport 0.99

01:18:10.880 put on a butt plug we're like no dude we're not doing that anymore so little and that's starting 1.00

01:18:15.860 to happen with that anymore where it's like we're not doing i'm not yeah dude i i used to fly spirit 0.82

01:18:20.420 airlines you needed a butt plug even before the pandemic um shout out spirit if they're a sponsor 0.97

01:18:25.960 the giant fucking piss plane flying through the sky there's a bright yellow don't worry about it 0.99

01:18:31.280 George, look, you're back. 0.99

01:18:32.180 See, nothing happened, dude.

01:18:33.080 You're back.

01:18:33.980 No, you also didn't get canceled.

01:18:35.180 It was a couple comments.

01:18:35.980 It was like three people.

01:18:36.900 Three people.

01:18:38.120 No, no, no, no.

01:18:38.880 It was trending.

01:18:39.640 It was trending for him.

01:18:41.480 For taking the opposite stance.

01:18:42.820 You didn't get canceled.

01:18:43.960 Yeah, but they said because of, and they said the wrong name.

01:18:47.100 And I was like.

01:18:47.420 George Bush, they said.

01:18:48.900 George Bush?

01:18:50.540 Shout out George Bush.

01:18:52.360 You know, hey, I've talked about this on the show before as well,

01:18:54.700 but you know what his favorite thing to do is?

01:18:56.800 No.

01:18:57.200 You can never guess it.

01:18:58.960 Let me guess.

01:18:59.620 george bush's favorite thing to do is a pokemon cards wrong clear brush he likes to clear brush

01:19:06.820 on his ranch with a side what is brush you mean like like like if a tumbleweed rolls out in the

01:19:11.080 middle of a path wow he likes to go out and move it oh look right there i got a piece of brush

01:19:15.800 clear brush that's his fate he said bro i watched him talk on stage one time i was so enamored with

01:19:20.980 him as a as a person and his legacy of bombing was incredible and i was like what you know what

01:19:26.580 is he he was a carpet bomber dude what one of the biggest bombers ever absolutely bro but i said 0.98

01:19:31.500 what is this what is this this fucking guy's favorite thing to do clear brush yeah loves 0.99

01:19:36.100 clearing brush how you know we're having a good podcast look at this kid fully asleep dead asleep 0.99

01:19:40.060 that's how you know it's great that's how you know i'm really brought the heat today chris

01:19:44.480 stefano came in here and killed it look at this guy the kid can't fall asleep anywhere i swear to

01:19:49.300 god but during a comedy show i mean jesus christ he's like the milton of germans when you guys were

01:19:55.340 arguing yesterday. Like, in the heat of

01:19:57.340 the argument, he said it put him to sleep. That's what

01:19:59.340 he told me afterwards. He said,

01:20:00.980 I go to sleep, and they may have to love the argument. 0.94

01:20:03.680 He's German. He's German, yeah.

01:20:05.120 Was that Germany? Was that Germany?

01:20:06.500 They argue so long for such 0.79

01:20:09.520 a long time. I take nap.

01:20:11.300 You think it's weird that... That's not a German accent

01:20:13.500 at all. I take nap.

01:20:14.720 Oh, boo.

01:20:17.100 We didn't catch that.

01:20:18.640 See that dodge?

01:20:20.060 No, I got you. No, it did it. Playback?

01:20:22.320 Playback? Slow-mo?

01:20:23.660 We don't have that capability on this show

01:20:26.520 My last note for this show

01:20:28.660 My personal last note

01:20:29.700 Do you understand

01:20:31.220 That both hamburgers

01:20:35.040 And frankfurters

01:20:36.500 Come from Germany 0.98

01:20:38.360 How fucking weird is that 0.96

01:20:39.680 Hamburg and frankfurt dude 0.98

01:20:40.760 How fucking weird is that 0.93

01:20:41.820 You ever been to Germany 0.97

01:20:42.920 I haven't

01:20:43.680 Dude it's sick

01:20:44.620 I wanna go

01:20:45.780 You been out there

01:20:47.280 I have

01:20:47.740 There's some crazy clubs

01:20:48.900 You go clubbing

01:20:49.600 Yeah

01:20:49.920 Well not really

01:20:51.160 Late night

01:20:51.760 Late night clubs

01:20:52.540 There's one in particular

01:20:54.080 I've heard a story about it

01:20:56.300 I didn't go myself

01:20:57.040 But there's like a bouncer

01:20:58.060 Who lets you in if he knows you

01:21:00.700 And inside the club 0.99

01:21:02.060 Some wonky shit takes place 0.99

01:21:04.280 Yeah, it's like Berlin, right? 0.99

01:21:05.380 I'm talking about

01:21:06.000 You know, like

01:21:06.500 It's the European version of the box

01:21:09.700 You know the box

01:21:10.420 I know the box, dude

01:21:11.340 Yeah, I saw somebody get a whole bucket 1.00

01:21:12.800 Full of shit and piss thrown on them there 1.00

01:21:14.400 So imagine that 1.00

01:21:15.300 But in Europe

01:21:16.020 But in Europe 1.00

01:21:17.240 Yeah, so European shit and piss 1.00

01:21:18.740 Yeah, yeah 1.00

01:21:19.280 Which is, yeah 0.97

01:21:20.020 They're crazy

01:21:20.680 Dude, yeah 1.00

01:21:21.540 Dude, yeah, Germany's a good time.

01:21:23.500 You ever go to Oktoberfest?

01:21:25.380 We wanted to.

01:21:26.180 We almost did.

01:21:26.940 We almost wore the, what's it called, Birken?

01:21:29.480 Yeah.

01:21:29.800 Dave, Birken.

01:21:30.720 Look, he's up.

01:21:31.580 Birken.

01:21:32.100 Panem.

01:21:32.740 At Oktoberfest, the Birken. 0.89

01:21:35.040 Lederhosen.

01:21:35.960 Lederhosen, that's it.

01:21:37.120 Yeah.

01:21:37.720 There it is.

01:21:38.420 Lederhosen.

01:21:38.820 David, did you take a little nappy?

01:21:40.280 Yeah.

01:21:41.000 How are you feeling?

01:21:42.240 Can't listen to your talk anymore.

01:21:43.720 Oh.

01:21:44.120 Wow.

01:21:45.640 He said, can't listen to your talk anymore.

01:21:49.280 He fell asleep when I asked him if he was Jewish. 0.97

01:21:51.180 He was like, ah, I don't want to talk about that. 1.00

01:21:55.240 No, yeah, right.

01:21:56.200 That's usually where he springs up.

01:21:57.420 He springs up and he's like, I have an idea!

01:21:58.360 Jewish people in this room? 1.00

01:21:59.860 Where are they?

01:22:02.040 Love Jewish people. 1.00

01:22:02.920 Shout out Jewish people. 1.00

01:22:03.620 He's not even German, bro. 0.98

01:22:05.020 He just grew up in Germany.

01:22:06.040 He's Polish. 1.00

01:22:06.200 He's fucking Polish. 1.00

01:22:07.400 Paul, dude, fucking Chesh. 1.00

01:22:08.880 Paul, I love Polish. 0.99

01:22:09.480 Dude, I got a friend, Polish kid, like literally one of my best friends.

01:22:12.940 Is his name Jacob?

01:22:14.160 His name's not Jacob, but it could be.

01:22:16.020 Dude, this kid, 19 years old, 19 years old, decides to get circumcised.

01:22:21.180 at 19 terrible ballsy dude he was born in warsaw so they don't they don't snip it dude i like that

01:22:26.080 that was good i like it hit him hit him too thank you thank you nice um 19 years old kid starts to

01:22:30.880 get decides to get circumcised because his girlfriend was like oh i can't deal with an 0.99

01:22:34.880 uncircumcised penis so he's like i can't deal with dude he gets snipped and he shows up one day 0.99

01:22:39.780 well you know basketball college basketball team he goes um and i want to be a physical therapist 0.99

01:22:44.580 so he comes in on crutches and i'm like dude what happened you're on crutches like did you hurt your

01:22:49.000 knee your back like why are you on crutches and he goes yeah i got a knee back issue and i was like

01:22:53.300 whoa what do you mean a knee back issue that's a wild there's no muscle that goes from the knee to

01:22:56.760 the back what happened he goes yeah i got a knee back issue and i'm like you don't have a knee back 0.99

01:23:00.680 issue like something's what's going on it's like i'm gonna need my dick back i know and i'm like 0.97

01:23:04.740 wow this kid's two for two right here wow that was good that was really good and i'm like what's 0.99

01:23:10.120 going on what's going on with your knee you know and he goes he goes listen are you promised you

01:23:14.260 won't tell anybody i'm like absolutely absolutely not he goes um i just got circumcised and i was 0.99

01:23:18.980 like yo let me see your dick dude this kid pulled his pants down you had to see what his it looked 0.99

01:23:26.000 like an like somebody just it looked like an isis beheading video that's what it looked like 1.00

01:23:29.640 little dick bleeding bro little dick yeah because it shrinks in because your dick doesn't want to 1.00

01:23:34.680 get snipped like that so it's hiding for dear life and dude snipped and he was like don't tell 1.00

01:23:39.740 anyone and i just told everyone in impulsive what's his name what nothing man yeah uh and i

01:23:48.000 I would be willing to bet they broke up

01:23:49.480 Probably shortly after that

01:23:50.620 Dude

01:23:50.940 Yeah

01:23:51.320 I swear to God

01:23:52.300 Two weeks later 0.50

01:23:53.240 She dumped him

01:23:54.040 That's how it works

01:23:54.620 Yeah dude

01:23:55.120 That's why

01:23:55.540 I swear to God 0.99

01:23:57.020 The dick now 1.00

01:23:57.440 He's got good dick now 1.00

01:23:58.380 You change your dick for a girl 1.00

01:23:59.600 They're out 1.00

01:24:00.140 Yeah dude

01:24:00.820 I've heard these stories

01:24:02.560 Yeah dude

01:24:03.180 And I don't 0.99

01:24:03.880 I regret getting circumcised

01:24:06.040 I'm mad at my mom

01:24:06.820 Because

01:24:07.220 You know 1.00

01:24:08.380 My penis is 1.00

01:24:09.220 It's decent 1.00

01:24:09.820 Five six

01:24:10.900 Seven with warts

01:24:12.080 But it's just

01:24:13.540 But it's just

01:24:14.220 You know

01:24:14.720 It's just

01:24:15.560 The foreskin would have

01:24:16.700 Gave it that nice, you know what I mean? 1.00

01:24:18.660 So I see, this guy's fucking coming. 0.98

01:24:19.960 I love this guy coming. 0.99

01:24:20.820 So that's my boxing coach.

01:24:22.220 Dude, this guy's great.

01:24:23.000 What you wearing, Mel?

01:24:23.700 I gave it to him.

01:24:25.100 Somebody's a brand sent it to me.

01:24:26.980 I don't know, Mike.

01:24:28.260 Every boxing coach has that voice.

01:24:30.800 They always just be throat cancer are currently having

01:24:33.300 and don't know they have it.

01:24:34.460 That's just how every boxing coach is.

01:24:36.920 And by the way, he's the guy who has a saying for everything.

01:24:40.220 Every day of the week, he got a different saying for whatever.

01:24:42.460 He's from New York, too.

01:24:43.320 From New York.

01:24:44.260 What part?

01:24:44.920 I had L.E.S.

01:24:45.840 L.E.S., baby, the Lower East Side.

01:24:48.280 16 siblings.

01:24:49.180 Brooklyn, Bushwick.

01:24:50.280 Oh, really?

01:24:50.760 Yes, sir.

01:24:51.540 I'm the last white guy.

01:24:52.960 The last white guy in Bushwick. 0.58

01:24:54.040 He's the original hipster from L.E.S. 0.79

01:24:56.180 Yes.

01:24:57.780 No, no, no, I don't speak it.

01:25:00.560 Yeah, parmesan, no.

01:25:02.740 No, but the L.E.S., dude, have you been back recently?

01:25:04.720 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:25:05.520 Oh, my God, dude, you must be rolling in the dough then.

01:25:09.060 It's the best.

01:25:09.240 You got some property in L.E.S. back in the day?

01:25:11.260 Ride around a gearless bicycle with some really short shorts on.

01:25:15.440 You're the best, L.E.S. 0.99

01:25:17.380 What the fuck are we talking about? 1.00

01:25:18.960 We're talking about you. 1.00

01:25:20.020 That's all we got.

01:25:20.840 Guys, go to ChrissyDepatreon.com.

01:25:26.720 Chrissy Comedy on YouTube.

01:25:28.460 Chrissy Chaos.

01:25:29.160 Hey, babe, podcast.

01:25:30.480 Chrissy Chaos podcast.

01:25:31.300 Hey, babe, podcast.

01:25:32.380 And yeah, dude, I'm going to be working out with Logan Paul every day.

01:25:35.560 Here we go.

01:25:35.920 Here we go.

01:25:36.240 Hit that subscribe button.

01:25:36.980 Thank you guys for listening, watching.

01:25:37.720 If you're subscribing, we'll see you next time.

01:25:39.040 Take it easy.

01:25:39.480 Bye.

01:25:40.240 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

01:25:42.700 We have a new podcast.

01:25:44.080 It's called Don't Lie to Me.

01:25:45.440 I'm Lexi Ioannou. We're two best friends, 22 years apart, but so close at heart.

01:25:50.820 And I'm Lisa DiGiulio, the old one, which means we have wildly different references,

01:25:55.200 occasionally different opinions. And at this point in my 50s, I've lived it all.

01:25:59.400 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes, Good Taste is my business.

01:26:04.520 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:26:11.060 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman, Angela Jaritana,

01:26:13.760 Jeremy Culhane

01:26:14.520 Patrick McDonald

01:26:15.260 And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast

01:26:19.060 The Improvised Character Comedy podcast

01:26:21.080 Where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft

01:26:24.920 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants

01:26:27.820 And we do a little Halloween sometimes

01:26:30.180 Does the Pope dress up?

01:26:31.820 He winks on Halloween

01:26:33.560 He gets right up next to the microphone

01:26:35.440 I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other

01:26:38.760 You've never seen Italy so quiet

01:26:41.240 as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

01:26:44.260 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists

01:26:46.560 every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app,

01:26:48.760 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:26:51.740 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian,

01:26:54.580 creator, and host of Scam Goddess Podcast,

01:26:57.400 the true crime comedy podcast

01:26:58.800 all about robbery, fraud, and those who practice it.

01:27:01.780 Each week I bring on an amazing guest.

01:27:03.680 Ooh, I scammed them.

01:27:04.860 What?

01:27:05.320 I could talk to you for an hour.

01:27:06.860 You're a generational yapper, like me.

01:27:08.900 That's why I had to make yapping a job.

01:27:10.640 and now you can catch full episodes of my show on youtube start listening to scam goddess on the

01:27:15.880 iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast i'm hamza and i'm martin and

01:27:23.580 we're the hosts of out of character the funniest podcast in the entire world

01:27:26.860 i like that it's a good way to promote ourselves we are two funny guys having fun enjoying ourselves

01:27:35.580 and we just know how to have fun, unlike anyone else.

01:27:38.460 If you guys like fun conversations, hot takes, what else?

01:27:42.820 Not too hot, just kind of lukewarm takes.

01:27:44.980 Just to get your mind thinking a little bit.

01:27:46.760 Listen to Out of Character on the iHeartRadio app,

01:27:49.380 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Impaulsive with Logan Paul - March 11, 2021

E264 Chris Distefano： Try Not To Laugh

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