Impaulsive with Logan Paul - E265 Too Hungover To Podcast

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00:00:30.480 Lisa, tell them about our new show.

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00:02:12.300 Hold on, stop.

00:02:12.620 I got deep pants in 8th grade.

00:02:13.920 Stop.

00:02:14.420 Yeah, you do have to. 1.00

00:02:15.200 You mother f***er. 1.00

00:02:16.460 What are you? 1.00

00:02:17.060 You got deep pants?

00:02:18.440 Yeah, yeah.

00:02:18.880 You never had this happen to you in your school? 0.99

00:02:20.480 You shut your mouth, George. 0.82

00:02:22.240 What are you saying? 0.99

00:02:23.340 What? 1.00

00:02:24.020 Kill that. 1.00

00:02:24.800 You've never got deep pants? 0.99

00:02:26.060 No, what are you saying that for?

00:02:27.140 Why are you saying it like that? 1.00

00:02:28.920 Wait, D-Pantsed?

00:02:30.180 Who says D-Pantsed?

00:02:32.440 That's how they say it in my school.

00:02:34.460 What is it?

00:02:36.080 That's why you got pantsed.

00:02:44.940 Just everyone just stop.

00:02:46.480 Are you going to do it or shy?

00:02:47.560 Huh?

00:02:47.860 Welcome back to Impulsive Ladies and Gentlemen, the number one podcast in the world.

00:02:51.280 Viewing and subscribing.

00:02:53.320 It's not good.

00:02:54.300 I'm unwell.

00:02:55.060 I'm unwell.

00:02:56.160 I'm unwell.

00:02:56.820 i'm i uh i'm ashamed almost i'm in pain i was a trauma victim that's what i am

00:03:07.000 i have socks on my hands right now guys let's just get right into this for i have socks on my

00:03:15.900 hands like that should just give you a little bit of an understanding i don't even know you own socks

00:03:19.960 i don't i don't have socks on my feet but i have socks on my hands socks are those just let me

00:03:24.300 explain for about 150 episodes of this show you saw two very hungover men on a podcast well two

00:03:35.300 and then there was always a non-hungover person which would be spencer right then for 100 episodes

00:03:39.980 we we never ran it back today we're back we're hungover we're hungover bat bat we're unwell

00:03:48.180 we went to a grammys after party last night and by the way the only one like that wasn't a thing

00:03:53.400 there were no like grammys after parties but somehow through the only one in la i don't think

00:04:00.420 anything else was happening mike do you understand what i'm saying here i'm looking at the joe coy

00:04:04.300 combing his hair sorry supposedly there was a thing too okay but we went to the one and it was

00:04:10.600 at his malibu house which was probably the coolest house beautiful i've ever been i walked in i said

00:04:16.500 oh edm money yeah dj money huh must be nice louis vuitton surfboard money oh i gotta 0.97

00:04:23.220 fucking Nickelodeon surfboard. 0.95

00:04:25.320 Yeah, that's all we got is a Nickelodeon surfboard. 0.99

00:04:28.060 What was that?

00:04:29.060 What was the award?

00:04:30.140 Teen Choice Award. 1.00

00:04:31.440 He got a fucking Louis Vuitton surfboard. 1.00

00:04:33.300 And I bet he uses it. 1.00

00:04:34.880 I bet he actively uses it.

00:04:36.860 But yeah, we went.

00:04:37.920 It was a lot of fun.

00:04:39.500 And about halfway through the night,

00:04:42.000 I looked at Mike and he had a blanket over him.

00:04:45.340 Like straight. 0.69

00:04:46.160 He looked like E.T. in his basket, you know,

00:04:48.880 when he's about to ride off into the moon.

00:04:52.160 That was Mike.

00:04:52.960 And I said, oh, tomorrow's going to be crazy, huh?

00:04:55.380 Bad.

00:04:56.660 Bad.

00:04:57.100 You know, it's been so long since we had a hungover episode. 1.00

00:05:02.740 And here we are, just mindless idiots back to the past. 0.99

00:05:06.420 We got an IV before this. 1.00

00:05:07.780 We have a massage scheduled after.

00:05:09.340 I don't know why I'm so affected now as an adult by alcohol, man.

00:05:15.640 It's because we don't drink.

00:05:17.540 It's because we don't drink.

00:05:18.620 We have no tolerance whatsoever.

00:05:19.880 So when you have copious amounts of poison, toxin pumped into your system that you're not used to anymore, it has effects that make you unwell.

00:05:32.580 You look well today, George.

00:05:33.900 How are you?

00:05:34.560 I feel great.

00:05:35.940 I didn't go out.

00:05:37.300 I came back from a comedy show with you.

00:05:40.040 I literally said, babe, drop me off at the show.

00:05:42.300 I'm going to have the night with the boys.

00:05:43.760 I always miss out.

00:05:44.580 I'm tired of missing out.

00:05:45.600 Just because I have a girlfriend doesn't mean I can't live.

00:05:48.000 Yeah.

00:05:48.360 So I get into Logan's car after the show

00:05:50.820 And I'm really excited

00:05:51.580 I'm in the Bitcoin dip group now

00:05:54.120 It's called the dip buyers 1.00

00:05:56.360 Which full of shit 1.00

00:05:57.400 They're like oh this is business 1.00

00:05:58.620 Bunch of memes and jokes 0.99

00:05:59.800 Tiny bit of fucking business talks 0.99

00:06:02.020 I call Logan I go is this a business term 1.00

00:06:04.240 He goes nope just a meme

00:06:05.220 Hang up the phone

00:06:06.760 I said owe me tokens a wagon

00:06:08.260 George texted me in a separate chat

00:06:11.040 He said what is wagon 0.99

00:06:12.520 I'm like it's just a fucking wagon 0.98

00:06:15.240 I wasn't going to do this 0.98

00:06:16.500 And I made fun of this all the time

00:06:17.540 until the chef came up to me and he goes yeah dude i've just been listening to logan's doing 0.95

00:06:20.480 everything he did and dude's been making thousands of dollars i was like all right fuck this i'm 0.69

00:06:24.280 doing this so i'm invested in this group chat i'm i'm in this party thing and logan calls me 0.78

00:06:31.000 he goes hey we didn't know you're coming but there's a there's a party bus we don't know if

00:06:34.180 there's gonna be extra seats but if there is don't worry we'll get you in and i'm like all right cool

00:06:37.460 comes out everybody's at this after party you bring the best pizza i've ever had in my life

00:06:42.080 yeah i was like this is it my girlfriend's giving me the green light i'm lit we're in

00:06:45.980 then the people come in the house

00:06:48.280 and then I do this banter

00:06:50.440 before I used to do this banter to get laid

00:06:52.780 but there's no

00:06:54.340 there's no prize at this banter 1.00

00:06:56.300 and I go the fuck 0.99

00:06:58.540 am I doing 0.99

00:06:59.040 this conversation is 1.00

00:07:02.360 completely stupid I don't need to be 1.00

00:07:04.600 here mindless Tom comes up to me he goes 1.00

00:07:06.220 good news bro he goes we got

00:07:08.340 extra speeds he's like we're rolling

00:07:10.240 I go I already called my Uber I'm out of here

00:07:12.280 I don't know why I'm here I got a drop dead 1.00

00:07:14.300 a gorgeous girl at the house. She just 1.00

00:07:16.380 ordered pizza. I'm going to have more pizza.

00:07:18.280 This is the best. And then it's in Malibu.

00:07:20.780 You guys have to take a bus to Malibu.

00:07:22.800 Malibu. It was a long ride.

00:07:24.700 This guy goes, you're going to be back around 5.

00:07:26.440 I go, no, no, I'm not doing

00:07:28.460 this. There's no reason for me to

00:07:30.460 do this. Did we even get back at 5?

00:07:32.140 No, later. You're evolved.

00:07:34.500 And I hate it. Hold on. Let me 0.52

00:07:36.200 stop you for a second.

00:07:39.760 You're right.

00:07:41.460 But

00:07:41.860 but there i've relearned that there's quite a bit of value in letting go and having a good time

00:07:50.080 with your friends as mindless as it is no no no i'm i'm just saying because i had to relearn this

00:07:55.640 for the past for all of 2020 i wanted to be the author video a week podcast girlfriend settle

00:08:01.760 down do all the right things i'm growing up growing up is overrated bro it is man it really

00:08:09.120 Like I got to the end of last year 0.97

00:08:10.840 And I was like dude I got so much shit done 0.55

00:08:12.680 I made a ton of money I set up a platform 0.96

00:08:14.680 For the rest of my life

00:08:15.880 But was I happy

00:08:17.260 Did I have any fun

00:08:19.120 You like partying though

00:08:20.340 No no no listen I'm not even talking about partying per se

00:08:22.780 You get to the point of what you're talking about

00:08:24.480 You have no idea what I'm missing out on

00:08:26.980 Dude I

00:08:28.240 Did you really not just get the point of what I just said

00:08:30.280 No you're just trying to make it

00:08:31.680 You're saying have fun

00:08:33.860 Why don't you live a little George

00:08:35.180 I don't need to be around

00:08:37.160 I don't care how you do it

00:08:39.600 I don't care if it's partying or if it's going to the zoo 0.99

00:08:42.140 I don't give a fuck what it is 0.98

00:08:43.380 What I'm saying is 0.96

00:08:44.320 It's just a release

00:08:46.700 Not everything you do in life has to have

00:08:49.360 An objective or an end goal

00:08:51.740 I had fun at the comedy show

00:08:53.960 I'm not talking directly to you

00:08:55.380 You started the conversation

00:08:56.620 I can't do this today

00:08:59.120 I know you can't and you usually can't

00:09:00.640 But I have a lot more energy than you so I'm putting you puppies down tonight

00:09:03.520 Please don't

00:09:05.980 what's up with the bandages around you guys?

00:09:08.560 Do you really do an IV?

00:09:09.900 Before the show, we did an IV. We talked about it about

00:09:12.160 four minutes ago. Yeah, we already mentioned it.

00:09:14.160 It's fine. You have in the notes here

00:09:15.940 quarantine goggles. What was that conversation?

00:09:18.240 Quoggles. You know it.

00:09:20.200 About what? You were in the conversation. I've lost.

00:09:22.320 I've forgotten everything in my life.

00:09:23.760 It's basically, I'll lead

00:09:25.780 him in. I was there for it.

00:09:27.480 It's when you end up in a relationship.

00:09:29.660 It was. I have no idea what it was.

00:09:32.060 That's what I'm saying.

00:09:33.020 I do. I do. People stayed in relationships.

00:09:35.980 potentially stayed in relationships they should have gotten out of sooner because they had

00:09:40.340 quaggles on quarantine goggles blinders to everything else because there was nothing else

00:09:45.040 they were stuck in the house bored in that stuck in the house bored bored in the house whatever it

00:09:50.960 is yeah quarantine made it super i thought i'd be opposite wouldn't that be kind of get annoyed of

00:09:56.160 somebody next to you that you but you got no choice though you're stuck with them because

00:10:00.020 what are you gonna do go out and find somebody else there's a global pandemic out there people 0.99

00:10:03.160 or dropping dead left and right zombies and shit. 0.98

00:10:05.260 I don't know if I believe that 0.98

00:10:06.320 because I know a lot of friends,

00:10:08.080 I won't mention anybody,

00:10:09.420 that don't use any condoms.

00:10:11.360 And there's a lot more percussions.

00:10:13.320 There's a lot more worse percussions.

00:10:15.540 Whoa!

00:10:16.540 You think you guys are scared of COVID 0.87

00:10:18.260 but not like HIV or getting a girl pregnant?

00:10:20.540 Whoa!

00:10:21.580 What's wrong with you guys?

00:10:22.400 Why are you making it seem like you're...

00:10:23.080 That's sub-episode 100 conversations.

00:10:26.760 We've evolved. 0.99

00:10:27.680 We isn't fucking, George. 1.00

00:10:30.340 Celibate 2021, motherfuckers. 1.00

00:10:33.120 We don't be fucking, George. 1.00

00:10:35.080 You know what I realized with you guys? 1.00

00:10:36.840 Anything you guys say you don't do, you guys do.

00:10:39.840 Anything you guys say you don't do.

00:10:40.620 Look at me. 1.00

00:10:41.220 Look into my fucking soulless, empty eyes. 1.00

00:10:44.660 Okay. 1.00

00:10:46.100 We don't be fucking, George. 0.99

00:10:47.780 Not a one. 1.00

00:10:48.820 Zero.

00:10:49.440 No nuts.

00:10:50.320 Straight up, dude.

00:10:51.340 Nothing.

00:10:51.840 Not one.

00:10:52.960 Stop.

00:10:54.980 But yeah, quarantine goggles, man.

00:10:56.920 And again, this isn't something I know.

00:10:59.220 I feel it's just for me.

00:11:01.540 a lot of people got in relationships and held that relationship probably longer than you should

00:11:08.020 have because quarantine made it convenient and they had quaggles quaggles it's called

00:11:12.480 they had quaggles on but now i feel like you know that uh big sean i think lyric uh nowadays 0.89

00:11:20.220 seems like everybody breaking up is that is that big sean sound like that i probably fucked up bad 0.85

00:11:25.500 but the reason i say it is nowadays i feel like everybody's breaking up bro because i'm walking 0.81

00:11:30.440 around this little hollywood town of ours and i'm seeing some high profile relationships and i'm not

00:11:37.280 going to mention any that don't be relationship in no more you know what i'm saying like there's

00:11:43.960 some single people out there there's some big relationships in this town that are like us 0.90

00:11:49.440 weekly type shit people type shit et type shit they ain't even in relationships no more george 0.98

00:11:57.380 because the pandemic's over trips to mykonos are coming back people are going to tulum how are they 0.99

00:12:04.460 all in tulum i no seriously how are all these girls going to tulum at the same time with the

00:12:13.600 same incestuous circle they're they just what did you say it's a re it's a respawn for single people

00:12:19.720 Yeah, it's where you live.

00:12:22.060 Tulum is where you respawn after a relationship. 1.00

00:12:25.820 What the fuck? 1.00

00:12:26.800 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:12:27.420 Why am I in Tulum? 1.00

00:12:28.360 We're in Cabo, motherfucker. 1.00

00:12:30.260 Wait, last week you were dating someone? 1.00

00:12:32.600 No.

00:12:32.880 Now you're in Tulum?

00:12:34.500 Yeah, man.

00:12:35.060 The pandemic, bro.

00:12:36.300 It seems to be quickly shutting down, dude.

00:12:41.560 People are starting to open the doors.

00:12:43.340 I wonder what's going to happen.

00:12:46.040 Bedlam.

00:12:46.720 Bedlam in the streets.

00:12:49.720 I just hope that there's not going to be a spike

00:12:53.320 and then they're like, 1.00

00:12:54.140 all right, we got to bring that shit down again 1.00

00:12:55.540 because that would be miserable. 0.99

00:12:57.200 I think that would hurt way more than the first round

00:12:59.120 where we have to be locked up

00:13:00.200 because then you were like, we were so close.

00:13:03.820 Do you get what I'm saying?

00:13:04.460 People are getting their shots now,

00:13:05.840 but now they're saying that there's a new strain.

00:13:09.000 No one's going back in their house after this round.

00:13:11.720 At this point, it's like, I risk it, right?

00:13:15.180 Risk it for the biscuit?

00:13:16.060 Yeah.

00:13:16.460 Yeah, I think so.

00:13:17.320 I think people will go out there and just die if they had to 1.00

00:13:19.780 before they go back in the fucking house. 1.00

00:13:21.800 They're like, yo, I'm just telling you right now, 1.00

00:13:23.500 you go outside, you're going to fucking perish in the street. 0.99

00:13:26.260 And they're like, I'll do anything. 1.00

00:13:27.300 I'm just not staying in this house anymore. 0.99

00:13:29.360 I don't give a shit. 1.00

00:13:30.220 I can't stand this bitch wife. 1.00

00:13:32.180 I got to get the fuck out. 1.00

00:13:33.180 I got quaggles on. 0.99

00:13:34.600 I'm sick of seeing her face every day. 1.00

00:13:36.820 I'll go out and die in the streets. 0.99

00:13:40.740 Was that a little too much? 0.86

00:13:42.340 On the brighter note, you guys went out last night.

00:13:44.040 You had a good time.

00:13:44.860 Is there anything that you guys saw

00:13:46.860 Where you kind of forgot

00:13:47.680 You know like when I went out

00:13:49.020 I was noticing things that I forgot about

00:13:50.620 Is there anything that

00:13:51.280 I forgot everything that happened last night

00:13:53.000 Are you asking

00:13:53.820 Are you asking us

00:13:54.760 If there's anything we forgot about last night

00:13:56.820 No

00:13:57.120 I was like when you were out last night

00:13:58.880 Is there things that like

00:13:59.760 It reoccurred

00:14:00.640 And you're like 0.98

00:14:01.020 Oh shit I forgot this is a thing 0.97

00:14:02.460 I felt something 0.99

00:14:05.580 Talk to me

00:14:06.520 Acknowledging how you feel

00:14:09.340 Feels good

00:14:11.760 Acknowledging how you feel feels good

00:14:13.840 Yeah

00:14:14.080 I was really present

00:14:18.500 And I'm just identifying

00:14:19.740 How I was feeling throughout the night

00:14:22.260 Feelings would come

00:14:23.800 They would go

00:14:24.980 I'd acknowledge them, I'd download them

00:14:27.220 I'd say hey you're here, we're here

00:14:29.220 That's it, we're in this together

00:14:31.860 There was a moment I had with Evan

00:14:33.240 Evan I don't know if you remember this

00:14:35.660 Evan can you come on

00:14:37.260 Please I asked you to come on today

00:14:39.240 Evan we cried in the driveway together

00:14:41.300 Evan we cried in the

00:14:43.540 driveway

00:14:44.080 I think I saw you guys

00:14:47.720 crying you were crying

00:14:48.920 him in the air and he was crying

00:14:51.720 on your shoulder and I was walking around with a blanket

00:14:53.600 over my head

00:14:54.460 and

00:14:55.820 what a weird event I think

00:14:58.720 Ian Dior and

00:15:00.320 Kid LaCroix ran past me

00:15:02.320 yeah we were crying

00:15:03.580 I was

00:15:05.320 tearing up but you were crying

00:15:07.300 you know what I said

00:15:10.380 I said, bro, because we walked outside and Evan and I, we're just having a super fun night. 0.97

00:15:16.800 Like, obviously, I fucking love this kid. 1.00

00:15:18.580 And I looked at him and I say, yo, motherfucker, I would die for you. 1.00

00:15:23.600 Like, straight up, die. 1.00

00:15:25.780 There's not a lot of people. 0.99

00:15:26.780 I'm, bro, you know me.

00:15:27.820 I love me.

00:15:29.260 There's not a lot of people I could say that for, but he's one of them.

00:15:32.200 Like, die for you.

00:15:33.200 And I was just, like, expressing that to him.

00:15:35.140 And then, you know, we start hugging a little bit.

00:15:37.560 And also, we was both kind of, like, crying.

00:15:39.380 And we're like, I love you, bro.

00:15:41.140 It was one of those moments.

00:15:42.580 We're like, I love you, bro.

00:15:43.520 I would love to be in a multi-universe where he's like, I love you. 0.96

00:15:46.780 I would take a bullet.

00:15:48.460 And then you hear, and he's just like, wait a second. 0.98

00:15:51.760 Emotions have passed.

00:15:53.840 It was the liquor that was talking. 0.99

00:15:56.040 I got shit to do today. 0.99

00:15:57.460 I can't. 0.99

00:15:58.300 That was easily my favorite moment of that night.

00:16:02.080 For sure.

00:16:02.620 Crying on Logan Schultz.

00:16:03.620 It was one of the only ones that meant something.

00:16:05.420 That means so much to me.

00:16:07.800 Because like

00:16:08.460 Not going to a party

00:16:10.480 This is a slight FOMO

00:16:12.100 For you to say that

00:16:13.260 That was your favorite moment

00:16:14.360 I'm glad I didn't

00:16:15.480 It was beautiful

00:16:18.280 Yeah we love each other

00:16:19.600 Yeah and

00:16:20.620 By the way I would do the same for you

00:16:22.780 Appreciate you

00:16:23.680 It took you only 24 hours to mention that

00:16:25.720 Let's hope we never have to be in a scenario

00:16:27.800 Where that's like

00:16:28.540 Imagine they're like well

00:16:30.280 We heard you on the podcast 0.99

00:16:32.180 So one of you has to die now 0.98

00:16:34.780 Wait this sounds pretty close to Dick Ransom guy 0.85

00:16:37.380 We haven't talked about him in a long time.

00:16:39.460 Who was even here for Dick Ransom Guy?

00:16:41.860 You don't even know who he is.

00:16:42.900 Do you know this scenario?

00:16:43.960 Are you serious?

00:16:44.640 If you're a male, you ran this scenario with your guy friend.

00:16:48.420 Maybe, but also if you watch this show.

00:16:50.000 If you watch this show. 1.00

00:16:51.020 Would you suck a dick for your boy? 1.00

00:16:52.380 What? 1.00

00:16:53.000 Would you suck a dick for your boy? 1.00

00:16:54.140 And so we always ask this question. 1.00

00:16:55.860 When would this scenario ever come into fruition?

00:16:59.620 And there's this dude called Dick Ransom Guy that runs around the city with a gun. 1.00

00:17:04.440 You're going to suck this dick or your friend's getting it. 1.00

00:17:07.320 He's just a random guy. 1.00

00:17:08.500 That's all he does.

00:17:09.800 His name is Dick Ransom.

00:17:10.700 Is this a real thing?

00:17:11.700 Yeah, it's from like episode like this is where we live.

00:17:15.560 George, this is where we live when we're like when we're hungover.

00:17:18.780 Dick Ransom guy. 0.97

00:17:21.660 Dicks in general. 0.89

00:17:23.300 Dick Ransom guy. 0.98

00:17:24.300 Dicks and that's all I got.

00:17:26.740 What is this?

00:17:27.520 Yeah, this parlay is perfect. 0.99

00:17:29.340 Sorority at Indiana University Bloomington is suspended after lingerie clad sisters 0.99

00:17:34.500 led pledges to Dark Basement 0.63

00:17:36.180 and told them they had to play

00:17:37.480 blow or blow game 0.97

00:17:39.360 and choose between sex act 1.00

00:17:41.460 a blow job I presume 1.00

00:17:43.900 or snorting coke 0.99

00:17:45.700 college is 0.98

00:17:47.840 yo Gen Z is crazy 1.00

00:17:49.680 what the fuck 1.00

00:17:51.300 they're so comfortable with their sexuality 1.00

00:17:53.140 they're so comfortable

00:17:54.280 that's been a thing

00:17:55.760 blow or blow

00:17:58.100 I'm gonna be honest with you

00:17:59.560 they were playing this game at

00:18:01.340 the house last night

00:18:02.420 It was the exact same game.

00:18:04.040 Every room I went into, bro,

00:18:06.600 they were playing blow or blow, dude.

00:18:08.580 Straight up. 0.85

00:18:09.280 Willow also claimed one sister struck her 1.00

00:18:12.160 on the backside with a wooden paddle. 1.00

00:18:14.260 Damn, what sorority is it? 1.00

00:18:15.720 Yo, shout out Indiana University Bloomington, dog. 1.00

00:18:19.940 It said they have to either perform oral sex or do... 1.00

00:18:22.420 Who is receiving the oral sex? 1.00

00:18:26.180 Is it a male? 1.00

00:18:27.580 It's a prank.

00:18:28.680 Oh, it's a joke?

00:18:29.520 It was like pledges.

00:18:30.940 They were scaring them

00:18:31.920 Oh so no

00:18:33.240 Wait what? 0.99

00:18:34.140 Nah there had to have been a dick there 0.99

00:18:35.940 It was a prank? 0.99

00:18:37.840 It's a prank bro

00:18:38.840 It's a prank bro

00:18:39.960 It was a Vitaly video?

00:18:42.460 It was a prank bro 0.51

00:18:44.360 There's no actual cock here 0.55

00:18:47.380 This is a non-story Dylan 0.99

00:18:49.060 Alright which one do you choose? 1.00

00:18:53.680 Well I guess I'll take the dick 1.00

00:18:55.140 It's a prank 1.00

00:18:56.360 What kind of bullshit story is this Dylan? 0.99

00:19:00.940 And by the way, this isn't funny 1.00

00:19:03.160 This girl sounds traumatized 0.95

00:19:04.820 And we're sending you our condolences

00:19:07.820 Wait

00:19:08.420 Traumatized how? 0.95

00:19:12.280 Because she got bit on the backside 0.99

00:19:13.980 Oh, that's 1.00

00:19:14.900 With a paddle 0.99

00:19:16.040 Oh, yeah, that's fucked up 1.00

00:19:19.060 I didn't know girls do that 1.00

00:19:20.060 I never understood the frat life shit 1.00

00:19:23.480 No, no 1.00

00:19:24.080 Never understood that shit 1.00

00:19:25.840 You're a dork 1.00

00:19:27.520 If you're in a frat and you had to do some weird things 1.00

00:19:30.240 to get in it, to me, you're a dork. I don't care how 1.00

00:19:32.200 you got in it.

00:19:33.720 Bro, you have never in a

00:19:36.200 comment section gotten blazed

00:19:38.360 as bad as you are about to right now

00:19:40.360 for what you just said. Listen, if you have to be friends

00:19:42.320 with somebody and they're like, listen, you have to do coke 1.00

00:19:44.320 or blow, you're a dork. 0.99

00:19:45.700 It's not what it is at all. 1.00

00:19:47.920 You tell them. You were in a

00:19:50.360 frat. Dude, I ate

00:19:51.620 an onion covered in hot sauce and piss.

00:19:54.680 What did you say?

00:19:55.700 Say it one more time.

00:19:57.500 How are you? That's a dork move. 0.99

00:20:00.660 Say it one more time. 0.97

00:20:01.580 Was it worth it?

00:20:02.320 I ate an entire onion.

00:20:04.260 Full onion.

00:20:05.660 Full onion.

00:20:06.200 We all had to finish in it a certain amount of time.

00:20:08.900 Drenched in urine and hot sauce. 1.00

00:20:12.920 What the fuck's wrong with you? 1.00

00:20:14.100 What's wrong with you? 1.00

00:20:15.300 That's why.

00:20:16.100 And that's why you're my guy, dude. 1.00

00:20:17.440 Kappa Kappa Hama Alpha Chai T, bitch. 1.00

00:20:19.460 Kappa Sigma, bitch. 1.00

00:20:20.840 That's right. 1.00

00:20:21.840 You wouldn't know shit about this frat life, George. 0.98

00:20:24.000 I don't want to know anything about this frat life. 0.99

00:20:26.960 I never went to college.

00:20:27.940 it's a bond it's honestly a it's a bonding just experience like yeah you're right no hey you want 0.99

00:20:36.060 to eat a carrot full of shit i just if you demean frat let now of course i didn't have a frat at my 0.96

00:20:42.380 alma mater gateway community i don't think they might actually have one there shout out new haven 0.99

00:20:51.100 connecticut shout out gateway community i got by the way i got a liberal arts degree on a so

00:20:56.940 i believe i have the most worthless degree on the planet an associate's degree in liberal arts

00:21:03.300 it has quite literally no application nothing no apple what am i gonna what job oh my god what

00:21:11.640 what can you do with that i'm really my arts are liberal like what look how liberal my arts are

00:21:18.720 You ate onions

00:21:20.840 That has piss on it

00:21:23.040 Don't make fun of his masters

00:21:24.940 You really want to go back to this?

00:21:27.080 No I don't

00:21:27.540 You're going to get destroyed

00:21:28.760 People are going to call you a bigot 1.00

00:21:31.820 Pussy 1.00

00:21:32.460 Toxic mastermind 0.99

00:21:37.240 What'd you guys do last night over again? 1.00

00:21:39.800 Yo everyone's going to call you a pussy 1.00

00:21:42.060 You're a pussy 1.00

00:21:43.340 dylan dylan set uh some like bullet points here sure who was the hottest girl overall 1.00

00:21:54.320 question mark at the party well i think it's safe to say that all women are equally beautiful in

00:22:01.360 their own right both inside and out people are gonna well your people are gonna call you

00:22:05.580 I don't think I don't think I don't think there was one one girl who was the there is one that

00:22:14.880 comes to mind I don't want to say it wait wait wait uh the the one the one that we met for the

00:22:20.180 first time last night okay I'm not usually into really tall girls because she's I talked to her 1.00

00:22:28.780 for a little bit I think she's 5'11 and then with heels she was 6'2 last night 6'1 I asked her if 1.00

00:22:35.000 She liked emasculating men with her height. 1.00

00:22:37.240 She said yes.

00:22:38.280 Then we squared up. 1.00

00:22:40.620 Cute, cute aggression. 1.00

00:22:42.120 But she is bad, bro. 1.00

00:22:45.920 And like, honestly, why are you being such a bitch? 1.00

00:22:48.380 Just pull her IG up. 1.00

00:22:49.640 No. 0.96

00:22:50.080 No? 1.00

00:22:50.380 All right, fuck it. 1.00

00:22:51.800 I tried, Dylan. 1.00

00:22:52.940 I tried.

00:22:53.520 It's nice to know that there was one. 0.94

00:22:54.920 But she like really, she really, she has immense power in that frame. 1.00

00:23:03.540 She knows how to wield it.

00:23:04.760 I could go on for a long time

00:23:06.840 about this, but I'm not gonna

00:23:08.300 because it's like

00:23:09.540 there's a part of my life I have to keep

00:23:12.720 private. You know what I'm saying?

00:23:14.800 This might be one of them.

00:23:17.280 What? That's just hot?

00:23:19.820 That seems

00:23:21.000 like such a revelation. 0.87

00:23:23.180 Logan Paul thinks girl is hot.

00:23:26.020 Guys, I'd love it

00:23:26.940 if we could keep this private.

00:23:29.940 I'm not asking you to

00:23:30.920 release a sex tape, bro. 0.98

00:23:32.560 I'm not asking you to play blow or blow. 1.00

00:23:34.760 Like, what the fuck is going on, dude? 1.00

00:23:36.880 I just said, say the girl's sucking hot. 1.00

00:23:41.380 Okay. 1.00

00:23:42.040 Fuck you, man. 1.00

00:23:44.320 Any drama slash tea? 1.00

00:23:48.380 There's the hottest tea.

00:23:51.920 I'm not even going to say it.

00:23:53.060 Forget it.

00:23:53.780 No, because it's so unshareable that me saying this right now is the lame.

00:23:59.040 I'm not even talking about it.

00:24:00.500 No, stop.

00:24:01.020 Next.

00:24:02.320 Do we run into any exes?

00:24:03.860 What I told you about.

00:24:04.760 Yeah, but it's like...

00:24:06.700 There's no shot.

00:24:07.360 I mean, bro, that's...

00:24:08.480 It's the only drama tea,

00:24:13.540 if you want to call it that,

00:24:14.580 such a whack word,

00:24:16.120 that if you looked at my face when I heard it,

00:24:18.720 you'd know that I just heard something

00:24:20.340 that was earth-shattering.

00:24:22.640 Do you know what I'm saying? 0.99

00:24:23.400 Like, it's fucking crazy, bro. 1.00

00:24:25.260 And the parties involved are even crazier. 0.99

00:24:27.180 Anyways, did you run into any exes at the party?

00:24:29.680 No.

00:24:33.280 He just put one of the bullets,

00:24:34.520 points it says planting seeds oh is that like when you plant a seed with a girl yeah i got that

00:24:40.440 yeah but planting seeds are it's so underrated like oh we're girls we're girls swarming your

00:24:47.820 cloud these are green bullet points no not really because everyone at that party was was cloudy

00:24:56.180 you know what i'm saying really long sentence one i think that looks funny in the bullet point

00:25:00.760 making sure not to lock into one girl too early like we got to get a camera for him because the

00:25:05.800 way he talks behind the cameras is so cute he's like playing with he's like talk about the last

00:25:09.560 one talk about the last one it's so good wait like too early in the night yeah like it's yeah

00:25:15.820 generally generally speaking how that usually goes at least for myself is when you lock into

00:25:23.800 a girl in the beginning of the night that's never the girl you wake up with the next morning

00:25:27.180 it just never ever works that way dude like you you start the night off you're like i like the

00:25:33.120 girl you invited with the i with the concept and purpose of hooking up with her and like getting 0.90

00:25:38.500 to know her better and all that stuff that never happens you end up with some fucking random 0.88

00:25:44.160 recycled roadkill that you just wake up next to the next day 0.90

00:25:50.040 And you're just like, God, what went wrong?

00:25:58.280 What happened?

00:26:00.080 I had set this up so nicely. 1.00

00:26:03.320 I ended up with the fucking Indiana University dropout. 0.99

00:26:08.820 Who couldn't finish the game of Blower Bow. 1.00

00:26:12.420 Oh, Lord.

00:26:14.180 I'm getting better, guys.

00:26:15.560 I really am.

00:26:16.360 I'm going to change.

00:26:17.540 Bro, when that IV was running through me veins, I was in a dark place.

00:26:22.120 No, there were a couple times where I was in a dark place.

00:26:24.720 And I was on a business call.

00:26:26.000 Yeah.

00:26:26.580 And I was feeling violent.

00:26:29.900 And I swear to God.

00:26:31.100 Aggression.

00:26:31.700 No, just aggression.

00:26:33.940 Aggression.

00:26:34.440 Yeah.

00:26:34.840 Jeff was sitting next to me.

00:26:36.140 And, like, I was holding the phone.

00:26:37.540 I kept putting it on mute and unmute because, you know, you guys were being, like, loud.

00:26:40.880 Yeah.

00:26:41.280 And a part of me just wanted to crush it into non-existence.

00:26:45.020 when you were doing the message

00:26:46.780 no I think whatever was in the IV

00:26:49.040 mixed with whatever the F is left over

00:26:51.260 in my body from last night and god knows what

00:26:53.340 bro so many things

00:26:54.880 I sprayed soap in Evan's eye on

00:26:57.180 every orifice like things

00:26:59.440 like accidentally intentionally

00:27:01.220 whatever it was burned

00:27:03.060 I don't want to do this

00:27:05.300 I don't want to do this

00:27:06.240 I love the show I don't want to do the

00:27:09.100 the drinking it's so

00:27:11.280 bad bro it's so bad

00:27:13.200 like I

00:27:13.560 i could probably do this like maybe once a month maybe once every two months because it's hard

00:27:20.020 dude i woke up today dude every day when i wake up i have a laundry list of items to do

00:27:25.320 i woke up today my tax guy said you need to sign this paper today it has to happen you have to

00:27:32.520 it's the today's the deadline and all you have to do is sign it all you have to do is sign the paper

00:27:36.420 electronically. They sent me a

00:27:38.940 DocuSign. Evan, a DocuSign.

00:27:41.300 Yeah, that's easy.

00:27:42.120 You tapped the screen a couple times. Literally tapped the screen. And I said to myself,

00:27:46.140 this is my task

00:27:47.200 today.

00:27:48.760 This is my one task today.

00:27:50.680 If I can complete this DocuSign,

00:27:53.460 I have accomplished everything I need

00:27:56.980 to do today. Did you sign?

00:27:59.160 I have not yet signed that DocuSign.

00:28:01.300 And it was due during

00:28:03.320 business hours. And it was

00:28:05.260 so important for my tax

00:28:07.380 liability and I have not done

00:28:09.360 it.

00:28:10.920 If it's due today, then now what?

00:28:13.780 I don't know. That's what I'm

00:28:15.260 trying to say to you.

00:28:17.300 That's the one task I chose.

00:28:19.360 I have 400 other things that are due

00:28:21.100 today. But those, I said

00:28:23.180 I can't do those. I've already come to

00:28:25.200 terms with that. Can you party without

00:28:27.020 drinking? Party without drinking? That's all I ever do.

00:28:29.020 That's a great question. No, I go crazy

00:28:31.280 without drinking. I can't.

00:28:32.740 I love it. I can, but recently

00:28:35.100 it's been so hard for me and i and i don't even need to get like hammered i just do because i'm 0.97

00:28:41.600 a degenerate like i'm the dude who's like oh i'll take one shot and then i'm fucked yeah but um it 0.68

00:28:47.380 my inhibitions they lower right i get a little loose get a little vibe going with a couple of 0.92

00:28:54.560 drinks and uh it makes it so much easier to have fun and moreover just like care about people i'm

00:29:01.260 an introvert but i also love people and sometimes i'm at a party i'm like hey i could probably

00:29:06.120 spare myself with like half of these conversations but alcohol just makes me like friendly and nice

00:29:10.960 tell me more oh my god i know yeah it's so incredible when you're 14 no i can dean's list 0.95

00:29:17.420 yeah i could do it yeah you're in the backyard just talking to some fucking rando about the 0.98

00:29:21.580 weirdest shit for me at least it's like a different level of confidence comes out yes 0.99

00:29:26.840 it's liquid confidence 1.00

00:29:28.240 that's so weird

00:29:30.780 I had the exact opposite

00:29:32.660 I didn't drink growing up so when I did get drunk

00:29:35.140 I got very random

00:29:36.180 I would look at the bush

00:29:38.040 I would talk to myself in my head

00:29:41.060 like I was schizophrenic and have conversations with myself

00:29:42.840 I'm like oh this is fun how you doing

00:29:44.420 I was like I'm not sure

00:29:45.460 I'm sorry you just say beer gave you schizophrenia

00:29:49.640 no I'm not kidding

00:29:50.860 I get so distracted within my own thoughts

00:29:53.400 of like being drunk

00:29:54.880 around other people

00:29:56.280 because I have a lot of inside thoughts when I'm sober

00:29:58.700 so if I look at you I think multiple things

00:30:00.760 so when I'm drunk that heightens up

00:30:02.380 and then it just distracts me

00:30:03.920 what are you thinking when you look at them right now

00:30:05.360 I have zero thoughts

00:30:07.100 what are you talking about

00:30:09.320 no thoughts

00:30:11.220 me neither

00:30:12.380 I become a subhuman

00:30:15.820 org bot 1.00

00:30:16.980 I just walk around the party I'm a fucking moron 1.00

00:30:19.760 where does the confidence come from 1.00

00:30:21.820 what does that do

00:30:22.460 from not thinking

00:30:23.640 You're not overthinking, you're just doing.

00:30:27.220 You're just doing.

00:30:27.860 Because lack of confidence. 1.00

00:30:31.440 I'm a passionate guy, fuck off. 1.00

00:30:33.080 Lack of confidence comes from a place of thinking you're not confident. 1.00

00:30:39.620 So when you turn all that shit off and you're just a cyborg, you'll walk up to any girl 0.99

00:30:47.680 because you want to know what? 1.00

00:30:49.180 You're the fucking shit. 1.00

00:30:50.940 You got fucked up with your homies. 1.00

00:30:52.980 You're cool. 1.00

00:30:53.640 At least that's how it is for us though

00:30:55.200 I know some people handle alcohol differently

00:30:57.060 That's how it is for us

00:30:58.560 I did 0.93

00:31:00.560 I finally got into the shoes of somebody who overthinks

00:31:04.320 How were they comfortable?

00:31:05.280 It was a year ago

00:31:06.500 I smoked too much and he got paranoid

00:31:08.420 And when I was talking I was out

00:31:10.280 And I was talking to somebody and I stopped

00:31:12.240 I didn't talk because I was like don't say that 0.98

00:31:14.480 That's dumb and blah blah blah 0.96

00:31:15.720 And I was like oh my god this is how people think 0.99

00:31:17.620 Like some people think this way

00:31:19.280 They'll say something in their head before they say it

00:31:21.400 and then they're like, regret it. So they don't say it. And then I'm like, whoa, that's so weird.

00:31:25.460 I've never done that. I usually just say that. And sometimes I'm like, a lot of times I'll say

00:31:29.320 something like, why did I say that? That was dumb. And then we'll just see where it goes. 0.99

00:31:32.320 And that's how I just lived my life. But I got into an elevator and it was the first time in my

00:31:36.920 life I've ever been in an elevator and nobody talked. And I was like, oh my God, this is how

00:31:42.480 life would be in an elevator if I wasn't talkative and I didn't talk to people because nobody

00:31:47.440 initiates the conversation. I'm always initiating

00:31:49.740 the conversation next to somebody. When do you

00:31:51.600 have time to have a conversation in a fucking elevator? 1.00

00:31:53.720 All the time. You go up two levels 1.00

00:31:55.440 and you're done. No, I talk as soon as I get in.

00:31:58.180 I've never ever

00:31:59.700 started a conversation in an elevator. That's what I'm saying.

00:32:01.540 It was the first time I ever... Dude, there's never...

00:32:03.480 That was the only time in my life that I've ever

00:32:05.560 been in an elevator to talk to somebody.

00:32:07.460 You talk to people in elevators? I talk to people any chance

00:32:09.660 I get. Wait, this is a hot button issue, by the way.

00:32:11.460 Elevator conversations and there's a whole

00:32:13.480 bunch of... There's a whole genre

00:32:15.480 of conversation around that situation

00:32:17.360 people get in the elevator and it's very awkward it's generally very awkward because it because of

00:32:24.080 that window of time that you have it's not quite long enough to really spark something up good

00:32:29.300 but you're also standing next to someone like like hey generally you ever been in an elevator before

00:32:34.220 that's a great question that's a great question is my first time actually but but but what that's

00:32:40.880 where this is where elevator pitches come from this is where all of that stuff around elevators

00:32:44.900 Let's stick with elevators for a second 0.52

00:32:48.520 Just for a hot second 1.00

00:32:50.180 But Ubers are cool too 1.00

00:32:51.580 Then phones came along

00:32:53.620 Changed the game completely

00:32:55.140 Because now when you get in an elevator

00:32:56.620 You don't even know

00:32:58.340 How old are you?

00:32:59.800 How old are you? 1.00

00:33:01.220 I don't give a fuck service on the elevator 1.00

00:33:04.500 You're literally trying to deal with 0.99

00:33:06.160 Put around an elevator in Zanzibar

00:33:08.680 Is this this big of a deal?

00:33:11.560 You guys never talk to people in elevators this bad?

00:33:13.500 all i'm just saying is that there's a there's a dialogue around this kind of conversation so now

00:33:18.440 what happens is to avoid the awkwardness and the silence everyone goes the first thing you do you

00:33:24.760 get in you push the button phone comes out and you look at it now you have no service but you're just

00:33:31.360 scrolling the pictures on instagram you already saw anything to avoid the fact that you're standing 0.87

00:33:36.260 next to someone in an l in a box that is moving on a wire to a fucking another floor of a building 0.91

00:33:43.000 you don't want to be in anyway that's wild it's always the dentist but are you guys are you guys 0.92

00:33:48.680 not fearing of the fact that you could be missing out on like a conversation that could possibly

00:33:53.500 change your life no i'm actually fearing the fact that i might get into a conversation that i hate

00:33:59.180 so i just look at my phone well no because that the time will pass but like for example you brought

00:34:04.300 up the uber i've had conversations with ubers where i was like oh wow i don't want to have

00:34:07.240 this conversation it's the same conversation but there was one time where it was so good i changed

00:34:11.660 the location of my Uber

00:34:12.660 because I was like,

00:34:13.680 no, I want to continue

00:34:14.300 this conversation.

00:34:15.200 I had one of those.

00:34:16.100 That's what I'm saying.

00:34:16.660 Like you do,

00:34:17.080 but I think about that

00:34:18.140 all the time.

00:34:18.760 See, that's dope. 0.64

00:34:19.480 That's dope.

00:34:19.820 Like what I'm saying is

00:34:20.960 you're never going to look back

00:34:22.340 and be like, 0.98

00:34:22.680 why the fuck did I talk 0.98

00:34:23.660 to that guy in the elevator? 0.98

00:34:24.500 But you could be like, 0.99

00:34:25.900 damn, I'm really happy 0.99

00:34:26.740 I talked to that guy in the elevator. 1.00

00:34:27.720 I think with that,

00:34:28.640 I think it goes back

00:34:29.240 to the window of time.

00:34:30.040 I mentioned before,

00:34:30.620 I have fantastic conversations

00:34:32.600 with Uber drivers.

00:34:33.540 Some of the best conversations

00:34:34.520 I've ever had in my life

00:34:35.360 were with Uber drivers.

00:34:36.920 Now, would I pull a Riley Reid 1.00

00:34:39.000 and suck their dick? 1.00

00:34:41.660 Where does that come from? 1.00

00:34:42.880 If you have a gun in your head saying, suck my dick, 1.00

00:34:45.160 what if Dick Ransom guy 1.00

00:34:49.080 somehow

00:34:50.600 got approved to drive Ubers?

00:34:52.580 He's an Uber driver.

00:34:53.360 He turned around.

00:34:55.080 We were so close to something so

00:34:56.700 inspirational and deep.

00:34:59.320 And he's like, yeah, you pull out a gun 1.00

00:35:01.120 and it's his dick. How did we get here? 1.00

00:35:03.100 We were just having such a great conversation.

00:35:04.960 But the Uber driver turned around, it's like me and Logan

00:35:06.920 in the backseat, got you. 1.00

00:35:08.940 Suck his dick, motherfuckers. 1.00

00:35:11.660 we're gonna play a game called 1.00

00:35:19.200 blow or I'm gonna blow your brains out 0.99

00:35:22.180 and that's the same lights 1.00

00:35:23.720 I knew I should have never done

00:35:26.020 uber pull

00:35:26.740 we're gonna play blow or blow 1.00

00:35:31.160 with your brains 1.00

00:35:32.800 oh my god 1.00

00:35:34.860 fuck 1.00

00:35:38.660 shout out riley reed shout out riley fucking reed we need her back on dude i miss her i miss riley 1.00

00:35:51.160 i'm missing out with her she's fun there's so much fun dude so much fun i also think she's 1.00

00:35:57.680 like reformed i believe she got a man she's still doing only fan shit but it was weird because 0.59

00:36:02.980 that was like the crew at one point like i was at i was it's okay it's okay nothing's there 0.81

00:36:08.420 My headphones are cutting.

00:36:10.820 My headphones are cutting.

00:36:11.920 I thought Mike was about to croak.

00:36:13.540 I was like, 36 years, he's had a good life.

00:36:16.660 The drugs finally caught up to him.

00:36:21.540 I thought that was it. 0.91

00:36:22.620 How fucking amazing would that be if it was caught on the podcast? 0.95

00:36:26.840 No, no, no more. 0.97

00:36:28.060 Not today.

00:36:28.540 No more of that, Georgie.

00:36:29.540 Not today.

00:36:29.980 No, my headphones are cutting it out.

00:36:31.600 Can't say that.

00:36:32.340 Can't say that?

00:36:33.420 I saw.

00:36:34.060 Can't say that.

00:36:34.900 Someone that we mentioned earlier

00:36:36.780 At the party

00:36:38.440 And they were like

00:36:38.860 Did you ever

00:36:39.520 Did you ever

00:36:40.900 Hang out with Gina Valentina

00:36:42.820 I was like yeah

00:36:43.820 I hung out with her

00:36:44.400 Back when we were hanging out with Riley 0.80

00:36:45.580 She was like

00:36:46.020 Oh could you send her a

00:36:47.140 Picture of me

00:36:48.220 And I did

00:36:49.200 And I was like yo

00:36:49.740 These

00:36:49.980 And I talked to Gina

00:36:50.960 And I was like

00:36:51.260 These people were so fun

00:36:52.240 They were so fun

00:36:53.680 We need to get back to that dude

00:36:56.100 Maybe not 0.95

00:36:56.740 I don't fuck it up

00:36:57.100 Who's Gina Valentina 0.98

00:36:57.940 Who's that 1.00

00:36:59.800 Did I say her name wrong 0.99

00:37:00.720 Nice job Georgie

00:37:01.640 I'm sorry

00:37:02.040 Who's that 0.65

00:37:02.740 Have I met her 1.00

00:37:04.820 Have you?

00:37:07.160 How have you already gone on that side?

00:37:08.900 You're going to get roasted in the comments

00:37:11.640 Wait, who is this? 0.93

00:37:12.760 Roasted

00:37:13.120 That laugh was so funny

00:37:21.680 Right here, right here, right here, ready? 1.00

00:37:31.420 Blow or blow, motherfucker 1.00

00:37:33.460 Your choice 1.00

00:37:34.760 Your choice

00:37:36.740 Your choice

00:37:38.900 It's all over 0.94

00:37:40.320 I just tell him to pull the trigger 0.56

00:37:43.220 Your choice

00:37:45.800 How are you crying right now?

00:37:52.160 Your choice

00:37:53.120 I'm going to be honest

00:37:53.760 Whatever's in your guys' system is still in your system

00:37:56.440 The callback

00:37:58.220 Your choice

00:38:01.220 I'm crying

00:38:02.000 Your friend will never make it out of this Uber and into that elevator to the dentist.

00:38:07.280 Blow or blow.

00:38:09.140 Blow or be blown.

00:38:14.380 I hope this is as funny as we find it.

00:38:16.600 I hope so too.

00:38:17.920 It's good, right?

00:38:18.540 Danny's giving me the notch.

00:38:20.860 It's like it is. 0.98

00:38:22.120 You know when you're fucked up and you write notes in your phone and then you revisit them the next day? 0.98

00:38:28.400 Yeah. 0.99

00:38:29.580 I was watching you take these notes.

00:38:31.340 I looked at it this morning 1.00

00:38:33.540 I said what the fuck 0.99

00:38:34.520 So you were the DJ 1.00

00:38:35.640 What the fuck happened last night 0.99

00:38:39.540 How did you become the DJ 1.00

00:38:40.840 I'm always

00:38:42.000 He crushed it as DJ

00:38:44.240 Yeah and he played this one song

00:38:45.620 I think this is what I wrote 1.00

00:38:46.600 Like a G6 1.00

00:38:48.640 Popping bottles in the eyes

00:38:51.640 Like a blizzard

00:38:53.780 When we drink we do it right

00:38:56.520 Scissor

00:38:57.620 Sorry 1.00

00:39:00.560 Like a G6 everyone stood up 1.00

00:39:03.420 And started tweeting and fucking each other 0.99

00:39:05.440 In the middle of the HUs 0.98

00:39:06.860 No I remember that

00:39:08.320 When the song came up 0.99

00:39:10.860 Literally it was really fucked 0.99

00:39:12.660 So it was a moment 0.99

00:39:14.180 I saw that too

00:39:15.400 The whole bus

00:39:17.620 At the same time

00:39:19.540 And that's why I took the note

00:39:21.140 Because I felt

00:39:21.700 No song was able to make everyone

00:39:25.720 Stand up and turn up at the same time

00:39:27.240 But at this one moment

00:39:28.920 The whole bus

00:39:30.140 went and started going crazy 1.00

00:39:32.080 like a G6.

00:39:32.880 Yeah, that was so weird.

00:39:34.720 Was I standing?

00:39:35.540 Yes.

00:39:35.980 No, you would...

00:39:36.700 The towel over my head.

00:39:38.740 I don't...

00:39:39.160 I was...

00:39:39.900 Tillis, where'd you get that?

00:39:41.160 I don't know.

00:39:41.740 It's a very expensive blanket.

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00:40:26.940 That's enough with the messaging points.

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00:40:48.660 sponsoring the podcast back to the podcast i still don't know who giovanchi person giovanchi

00:40:54.740 Valentino.

00:40:56.220 He turned one of the biggest porn 1.00

00:40:58.740 stars in the world into a fucking suit 1.00

00:41:00.740 maker. Oh, it's a porn star. 1.00

00:41:02.320 Get the fuck out of here. Into a suit maker. 1.00

00:41:04.560 It's a fucking sound like a parent. 1.00

00:41:05.900 Into someone that sells 1.00

00:41:08.200 used suits on the corner

00:41:10.620 of Fifth Avenue. Giovanni

00:41:12.340 Valentino. How the

00:41:14.300 fuck have you done? All the best 0.99

00:41:16.440 prices.

00:41:18.020 All of them. Always.

00:41:20.080 This is nice.

00:41:22.660 Giovanni Valentino.

00:41:23.860 When's the last time you used a condom 1.00

00:41:26.120 Yeah all the shit you talk to us 1.00

00:41:29.260 About our condom use 1.00

00:41:30.280 I have a girlfriend guys 1.00

00:41:33.420 Can we bring Annie on the show for a second 0.71

00:41:35.220 Dude David

00:41:37.100 Has been pulling bro

00:41:39.260 Do you think that's appropriate to say 1.00

00:41:41.640 While he has a female right in front of you 0.71

00:41:44.000 Trust me I know every in and out

00:41:45.940 Of this relationship it's completely fine

00:41:47.940 That I say that he has been

00:41:49.420 Wheeling

00:41:50.800 You've been crying

00:41:52.900 Everything right

00:41:54.460 Cool

00:41:55.700 If you guys are wondering why she's upset

00:41:57.860 Sierra how are you 0.92

00:41:59.840 There's Sierra over there

00:42:02.820 We went to high school together

00:42:04.020 No no no we didn't

00:42:05.940 We went to grade school

00:42:07.200 Middle school 0.97

00:42:08.600 Crazy finally got Sierra Skye

00:42:12.520 After all these years boys we got her 0.99

00:42:14.020 She's on the couch

00:42:15.380 No I've 0.95

00:42:16.980 Remember when Sierra Skye was like my 0.76

00:42:19.920 My uh

00:42:20.820 Like show crush

00:42:22.940 And then it was Julia Rose for a while

00:42:25.000 This was back in like 86 when we started the show

00:42:27.160 I have a story about her, that girl over there

00:42:29.320 Really?

00:42:29.860 I'll keep her identity a secret 1.00

00:42:31.980 Shit 0.93

00:42:34.440 I'm sorry I'm about to expose you like this 1.00

00:42:36.940 Lean in, lean in

00:42:39.620 First

00:42:40.640 First 0.65

00:42:42.520 First boob I ever touched 1.00

00:42:46.080 Was that girl over there 1.00

00:42:47.120 Ever in my life

00:42:49.040 uh how'd you rate it zero to ten it's ten dude dude first first boob oh it's a huge moment come

00:42:56.140 on it's a huge moment i'm telling i'm telling it we will show your face that's a huge moment

00:43:02.260 bus bus to washington dc it's experimental face 12 13 years old what's a boob like what's in there

00:43:12.440 who knows do they even exist i've heard about them seen pictures yeah but never in real life

00:43:17.560 And so I think I just like kind of like reached behind the seat.

00:43:20.160 I was like, you know, started with the classic massage.

00:43:21.820 And then I think I like slowly went around the front,

00:43:24.220 kind of just like cupped it, kind of just held it, like embraced,

00:43:28.200 embraced one boob.

00:43:29.760 I said, this is the, this is, I'm peaking.

00:43:32.720 Yeah, it's over.

00:43:33.900 Wait, there's nowhere to go from here.

00:43:35.900 There's no turning.

00:43:36.940 That was the pinnacle of my life.

00:43:38.580 I swear to God.

00:43:39.520 And then he goes, oh, I talked too soon.

00:43:42.760 I got two hands in there.

00:43:43.880 There's two.

00:43:44.580 No, no, no.

00:43:45.080 Cause it was, it was an awkward, like, uh, I was in the seat ahead of her.

00:43:49.260 And so you put your hand through the little gap by the window.

00:43:52.500 I'm trying to picture him by the window, by the window.

00:43:55.240 Yes.

00:43:56.560 Backwards massaging your back.

00:43:58.620 Like, how did you pull this off?

00:43:59.860 I don't, I don't know.

00:44:00.840 I don't know.

00:44:01.260 Because also the teachers were like hawks on that trip.

00:44:05.400 Hey, Hey, no, they're having titties back there. 0.97

00:44:09.540 Hey, Paul, cut the titties, grab it out. 1.00

00:44:12.620 Cut the shit, Paul. 1.00

00:44:13.940 I see you grabbing titties. 1.00

00:44:15.480 No, because they tape your door at night. 0.93

00:44:17.920 You know how they tape your door?

00:44:19.960 So if you open it and they discover your door, tape has been broken.

00:44:23.400 The seal was broken.

00:44:24.980 They send you away.

00:44:25.960 Yeah, man.

00:44:27.160 Where do they send you?

00:44:28.560 I didn't grow up in a tape the door shut school system.

00:44:33.240 Sorry.

00:44:33.980 Maybe it's because it was the 60s, but we didn't tape our doors closed.

00:44:38.960 Hey, someone's been here.

00:44:40.460 They have like a CSI team that comes in.

00:44:43.540 Forensics. 0.79

00:44:43.940 Paul was out of the room grabbing titties again

00:44:46.620 Paul let me see your hands 0.69

00:44:49.000 Let me see your hands

00:44:50.100 He's got

00:44:51.020 He's got

00:44:51.780 He's got titty residue on him boys

00:44:53.680 Lock him off

00:44:54.660 Lock him off

00:44:55.900 Lock him off 0.84

00:44:57.620 People like Paul that makes me sick

00:45:03.480 The blower blow guy can't even get in the room

00:45:07.840 Cause the door's taped

00:45:08.920 He's like my plan has been failed

00:45:11.600 I can't get in the room

00:45:13.240 They taped the doors again

00:45:14.760 No it was just a monitor

00:45:16.400 Bro we'd climb on the balcony

00:45:18.180 My brother 1.00

00:45:20.360 They fuck like bunny rabbits in like 7th 8th grade 1.00

00:45:23.540 Like I was a late bloomer but my brother 1.00

00:45:25.120 Yo these motherfuckers 1.00

00:45:27.020 7th grade 1.00

00:45:28.220 I mean she's like 6 1.00

00:45:30.740 Yo dead ass 1.00

00:45:33.700 That's like 11 years old 1.00

00:45:35.500 7th is 12

00:45:36.740 12 and 13 years old

00:45:38.580 He was doing numbers

00:45:40.400 Yo half his grade 0.82

00:45:42.740 No offense to any exotic

00:45:44.980 The answer 1.00

00:45:45.780 They're all strippers now 0.91

00:45:46.920 They're all strippers

00:45:47.440 Really?

00:45:47.960 Including Jake

00:45:48.900 Ohio

00:45:50.000 Canton

00:45:51.200 I don't know

00:45:52.000 Akron

00:45:52.340 Oh god 0.98

00:45:53.560 If you ended up as a stripper 0.97

00:45:54.540 I feel like

00:45:55.180 No offense to any of the strippers

00:45:56.580 In Akron

00:45:57.100 No offense to any of the strippers

00:45:58.200 The first strip club I ever went to

00:45:59.360 Was in Akron

00:45:59.980 It was when I realized 0.81

00:46:01.320 I don't like strip clubs 0.99

00:46:02.340 Yeah because you went to a strip club

00:46:03.920 In Akron

00:46:04.300 Right

00:46:04.560 If you had gone to a real strip club

00:46:07.840 Not in Akron

00:46:09.520 That was a horrible choice

00:46:11.300 That set you poorly

00:46:12.600 for the rest of your strip club experiences, bro.

00:46:15.460 Yeah, they were sneaking. 0.94

00:46:16.980 Because what if someone gets preggers

00:46:19.660 on your Washington, D.C. trip?

00:46:21.720 You're the teacher that allowed foul play,

00:46:24.380 and little Christina, 0.99

00:46:26.620 who used to be great at Algebra 2,

00:46:30.240 is pregnant. 1.00

00:46:31.480 Imagine being the mom on the ass end of that call. 1.00

00:46:34.480 Christina was supposed to go to learn 1.00

00:46:35.920 about the Declaration of Independence.

00:46:38.540 Now she's rearing a child. 0.99

00:46:40.480 how the fuck did this happen 0.99

00:46:43.300 did you even tape the doors 1.00

00:46:45.100 you stupid fucks 1.00

00:46:47.060 you didn't tape the fucking doors did you 1.00

00:46:49.680 you stupid motherfuckers 1.00

00:46:51.860 what's wrong with the school system 1.00

00:46:55.820 you had one job

00:46:57.840 you didn't tape the door 1.00

00:46:59.880 and my daughter got pregnant 1.00

00:47:01.200 you fucking morons 1.00

00:47:03.700 I drew it 1.00

00:47:04.840 I gotta drink more 0.96

00:47:10.140 often boys i'm on a sick one god damn we're eating up i'm gonna stop this man yo but that 0.99

00:47:21.440 why is this such a funny like you guys should go get fucked up more often that's what we said 0.99

00:47:25.500 it's that scares me fuck um the washington dc trip they're infamous for east coast kids 0.99

00:47:33.060 is a very important trip some very important things have happened on that washington dc trip 0.99

00:47:39.380 I'm sure anybody east of the Mississippi that's watching this right now

00:47:42.820 can relate to this conversation.

00:47:44.760 I picked up two compact discs.

00:47:48.740 Yeah, that's right.

00:47:50.160 Otherwise known as CDs.

00:47:52.500 You guys wouldn't believe these things were about this big by Yafin.

00:47:58.260 And they play music, sometimes even films. 0.99

00:48:01.680 It was fucking crazy. 0.98

00:48:03.460 And when I bought them at the store, 0.99

00:48:05.060 you could actually still buy cassette tapes too at the same time.

00:48:08.100 They're right next to each other.

00:48:08.940 first two cds of my life i bought on that trip to washington dc at that big mall there 0.98

00:48:13.380 one of them was eminem yeah slim shady lp had a giant viking and cracked on the fucking cover of 0.73

00:48:22.720 the cd the other one was blink 182 dude ranch and they were two of the most important albums 0.90

00:48:28.380 i ever purchased shout out washington dc shout out the declaration of independence and shout 0.98

00:48:32.720 out christina's mom for bearing with that child because the school system didn't take holy shit 0.94

00:48:37.500 I have the picture. I have the picture 0.98

00:48:39.440 of me and Ciara over there.

00:48:41.860 Yes. Oh, just yonder.

00:48:44.120 Look. 1.00

00:48:45.180 Who the fuck 0.99

00:48:46.640 is on the right? Who is that? 0.99

00:48:49.480 Is that Aubrey Drake Graham, man?

00:48:51.420 Who is that? That's you? Yeah, on the

00:48:53.480 left. That's you?

00:48:55.980 Are you 1.00

00:48:56.900 fucking kidding me right now? 1.00

00:48:59.480 What the fuck? 1.00

00:49:02.040 Bro, you look like the school shooter. 1.00

00:49:03.740 Yes, you do. You look like the school

00:49:05.600 It makes so much sense

00:49:08.220 You really do bro

00:49:09.480 You didn't get lucky in life because God was protecting you

00:49:12.840 He was protecting everybody else 0.54

00:49:14.400 Who's the Russian kid next to you 0.64

00:49:18.880 That kid on the right

00:49:19.800 You both thought you were tag teaming

00:49:22.940 That night 100%

00:49:24.140 You didn't even want your identity 0.93

00:49:25.280 What Russian sales glasses did you guys buy 1.00

00:49:29.140 What the fuck is happening 0.99

00:49:30.000 It was our first pair of aviators 0.99

00:49:31.300 We were so excited

00:49:32.260 They were massive on your faces

00:49:34.080 I know, I was a lad.

00:49:35.360 Wait, no, but those-

00:49:37.200 She's terrified.

00:49:38.040 Wait, what? 0.98

00:49:38.460 Poor girl.

00:49:39.420 Wait, what are those?

00:49:40.320 Are those the Givenchy Valentino sheets?

00:49:43.020 Yeah, I'm thinking about that. 0.99

00:49:44.240 Damn. 0.99

00:49:45.120 Damn, this is a throwback. 1.00

00:49:46.300 You know, this is crazy. 0.99

00:49:47.420 So this kid, you could see, look it.

00:49:48.940 This was like the average height, eighth grade boy.

00:49:51.980 And this was me.

00:49:53.300 I was the smallest one in my grade for so long.

00:50:01.140 Can't relate.

00:50:02.720 Can't relate.

00:50:03.360 That's one thing we can relate on.

00:50:05.880 They call me Shrimp Man.

00:50:08.100 Shrimp Man.

00:50:09.140 Shrimp Man.

00:50:10.300 Oh, no.

00:50:11.260 There he comes. 0.96

00:50:12.600 It's Shrimp Man again. 0.99

00:50:13.900 Tiff the doors. 1.00

00:50:16.520 Put your titties away. 1.00

00:50:17.860 The Shrimp Man's coming. 0.96

00:50:22.660 Dude, I love this part of Mike.

00:50:25.460 Oh, my God, bro. 0.98

00:50:27.460 Hide the titties. 0.99

00:50:29.280 Put the titties away. 0.99

00:50:30.740 It's Shrimp Man.

00:50:31.740 You don't know where he's coming from because he's so small. 1.00

00:50:35.560 You're just saying the whole city of hands on your tits. 0.99

00:50:40.320 They all look like they brought extra tape with them. 1.00

00:50:45.180 Christina leaves the hospital with a half-shrimp hybrid human baby. 0.91

00:50:50.220 Christina's mom. 0.98

00:50:51.860 I sent my child to learn about the decoration.

00:50:54.680 I'm a shrimp kid.

00:50:57.200 My grandson is a half-shrimp child. 0.98

00:50:59.700 It's not funny, man. 1.00

00:51:00.540 It's not funny

00:51:02.060 It's not funny

00:51:02.740 No it's not 0.94

00:51:03.660 Fucking hilarious 0.96

00:51:04.860 I'll tell you why it's not 0.96

00:51:07.100 So explain to us

00:51:07.860 What's happening here

00:51:08.640 Listen

00:51:08.740 So listen

00:51:09.500 I don't know how it happened

00:51:13.120 But

00:51:13.480 Is this guy the same age as you?

00:51:15.280 Yes

00:51:15.660 He looks 10 years older

00:51:18.600 He looks like he's trying to get you

00:51:20.280 It's an R-rated movie

00:51:21.260 Bro

00:51:28.600 I was 13 years old

00:51:30.200 And somehow I became like the designated boyfriend of the girls, right?

00:51:38.260 The girls had their clique and I was like the guy.

00:51:40.920 I didn't actually have that many like guy friends.

00:51:42.760 I don't know why.

00:51:43.420 I just got along better with the girls. 0.80

00:51:45.500 The girls.

00:51:47.300 Yeah. 1.00

00:51:47.560 Not women. 1.00

00:51:48.780 Developing young women. 1.00

00:51:55.280 You're a pussy. 1.00

00:51:57.220 Just say girls. 1.00

00:52:00.200 and you know one day they were asking me about wieners dude like the conversation came up

00:52:06.920 they're like you know girls are curious at that age like what are wieners like i said that's

00:52:11.180 crazy like i have one you guys want to know about ask me anything you want to see my shrimp you want

00:52:17.080 to know about it see my shrimp well i'm getting there and so they're like they're like yo how big

00:52:23.020 is it how big is a wiener like i was like i don't they're not that big they're like what i thought

00:52:28.760 it was the size of this door handle like like mind you no seriously we were walking into a

00:52:34.620 barnes and noble the door handle was this big they're like it's not this big i was like no no

00:52:38.600 like then they're like well how big's yours logan pre-puberty voice is still high i'm flaccid most

00:52:45.720 of the time think about it yeah i go i don't know probably like maybe like two inches off

00:52:50.800 oh no biggest mistake of my life is that why they started calling you shrimp boy

00:52:58.760 There's 2-inch McGee over there

00:53:03.580 He probably said it so confidently too

00:53:05.640 He was like

00:53:06.180 2 inches

00:53:08.060 No, because we didn't

00:53:09.740 I didn't compare to any guy

00:53:12.580 I had no guy friends

00:53:13.360 I didn't know

00:53:13.940 Like no one talked to me about it

00:53:15.040 And I was like

00:53:15.380 Oh, this is like

00:53:15.860 This is me

00:53:17.460 It can't be that abnormal

00:53:19.360 Well, evidently

00:53:20.860 Everyone in the 8th grade 1.00

00:53:21.900 Had a fucking 12-inch cock 1.00

00:53:23.180 Except me 1.00

00:53:23.800 Bro

00:53:24.400 This kid in particular

00:53:26.700 His name is AB

00:53:28.000 Abdullah

00:53:29.000 Hey, what's up, baby?

00:53:29.720 Yeah, I know you're watching this.

00:53:31.520 Bro, he was like the dude.

00:53:33.180 Everyone was like, oh, baby, he's taking his shoes, right?

00:53:34.680 Because he was the first kid to go through puberty. 0.99

00:53:36.300 And so everyone made fun of me for having a mini penis for years, dude. 1.00

00:53:41.880 Look how he's grabbing her. 1.00

00:53:44.340 You can tell he knows what he got.

00:53:47.360 Yeah, that's a pretty tight grip, dude.

00:53:49.560 Where's your hand?

00:53:50.400 That's what I want to know. 1.00

00:53:51.220 No, because I was scared to touch women.

00:53:52.600 Bro, I was so terrified of girls for so long, especially after this traumatizing experience.

00:53:56.980 I thought I wasn't big enough

00:53:59.800 For the longest time

00:54:01.260 And so yeah I waited

00:54:02.880 I held out until I was 14 1.00

00:54:04.960 So you want to touch women but only their titties 1.00

00:54:07.580 I was big on the cup 1.00

00:54:10.540 But you weren't big on the dick 1.00

00:54:11.740 Nope 1.00

00:54:12.080 I could just see him right after he found out

00:54:15.000 At that poor Barnes and Noble that day

00:54:16.500 Just straight to the Akron strip club

00:54:18.320 He's like I'll never have anything in this life

00:54:21.600 He gets there and tries to grab the handle

00:54:23.280 He goes through the window 1.00

00:54:26.560 The girls, they backstabbed me 1.00

00:54:29.040 They stabbed me in the fucking back 1.00

00:54:30.640 They went around telling everyone the size of my Peter, dude 1.00

00:54:34.100 And I wasn't equipped to handle this kind of bullying

00:54:37.120 As an 8th grader

00:54:38.280 And what do you do?

00:54:40.740 No, I swear to God 1.00

00:54:43.240 My dick is huge, guys 1.00

00:54:44.300 You gotta believe me 1.00

00:54:45.360 No, because it wasn't

00:54:47.100 It was just a boy

00:54:48.180 And I learned when I was like 16

00:54:50.880 I'm a grower

00:54:53.140 You know grower shows?

00:54:54.480 I love how you were like

00:54:58.340 Oh, I think it's two inches

00:55:00.020 And then Jake's like

00:55:00.660 Same grade

00:55:02.560 Next

00:55:04.660 It's cold outside

00:55:06.560 I got deep pants in the seventh grade

00:55:10.740 Oh, you were one of those kids

00:55:12.340 Yeah, it was the greatest day of my life

00:55:13.680 Oh, no, why? 1.00

00:55:14.900 You had a big dick in the seventh grade 1.00

00:55:17.260 I got deep pants in the eighth grade 1.00

00:55:20.060 You motherfucker 1.00

00:55:22.240 Fucker, what are you? 1.00

00:55:23.240 You got de-pantsed? 1.00

00:55:24.900 You never had this happen to you in your school? 1.00

00:55:26.620 You shut your mouth, George. 0.82

00:55:28.620 What are you saying? 0.98

00:55:29.540 Wait. 1.00

00:55:29.880 I'll fucking kill that person. 1.00

00:55:31.000 You've never got de-pantsed? 1.00

00:55:32.240 No, why are you saying that?

00:55:33.300 Why are you saying it like that?

00:55:35.160 Wait, de-pantsed.

00:55:36.400 Who says de-pantsed?

00:55:38.600 That's how they say it in my school.

00:55:40.620 No one says it.

00:55:41.600 What is it?

00:55:42.220 That's why you got pantsed.

00:55:43.660 Wait, wait.

00:55:44.480 That's why you got pantsed. 0.78

00:55:45.680 It's just pants.

00:55:46.780 Pants, George.

00:55:47.240 Just pants. 1.00

00:55:47.960 There's no D, you fucking whore. 1.00

00:55:49.620 D-Pantsed. 1.00

00:55:53.360 No.

00:55:54.240 No, we said D-Pantsed. 0.99

00:55:56.120 No.

00:55:56.800 Comment down below if you guys grew up saying D-Pantsed.

00:55:59.040 No, comment down below.

00:55:59.620 Don't do it.

00:56:00.480 No, it's a good comment.

00:56:01.620 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:56:02.780 It's not D-Pantsed? 0.81

00:56:04.120 George, let me ask you a question.

00:56:05.660 After the show, do you want to go do a D-workout in the back?

00:56:08.440 No, you don't just add two letters to random words. 1.00

00:56:12.500 Fuck your prefix, George. 1.00

00:56:13.940 It's called Pantsed. 1.00

00:56:15.860 Pantsed.

00:56:16.340 I got pantsed.

00:56:17.340 D-Pantsed.

00:56:17.840 No. 1.00

00:56:18.540 Stop.

00:56:18.820 This guy

00:56:19.780 No warning you got pants

00:56:21.800 Spencer, Mac

00:56:22.920 If you're watching the show

00:56:24.380 Please

00:56:25.060 I wasn't pants

00:56:26.060 We need you

00:56:26.680 Nobody ran up to me

00:56:27.660 And gave me a pants

00:56:28.920 De-panced 1.00

00:56:30.320 Yo you're gonna

00:56:31.500 You're gonna get

00:56:32.640 You're gonna get 0.99

00:56:32.700 You're gonna burn 1.00

00:56:32.960 In the hell fire 1.00

00:56:33.760 Guys I gotta 0.92

00:56:34.660 I gotta stick to my guns

00:56:35.500 I'm not saying

00:56:36.060 I'm winning this one

00:56:36.880 But if I'm going out

00:56:37.940 So what happened

00:56:40.240 So what happened

00:56:41.020 Well

00:56:41.360 You got de-panced

00:56:42.440 Dude

00:56:42.980 You got de-platformed

00:56:44.940 I got

00:56:45.360 That makes sense 0.99

00:56:47.160 Yeah no shit 0.99

00:56:48.360 De-pants. Shut up. 1.00

00:56:50.240 Anyway, so I got de-pants. Someone just say someone pulled your 0.99

00:56:52.380 pants down. So 1.00

00:56:53.300 they pulled my pants down. Okay, perfect.

00:56:56.680 Now, everybody, I got made fun

00:56:58.520 of a lot. And God

00:57:00.320 was, this is how, people always ask me, dude, like

00:57:02.300 how do you know God exists? It's because

00:57:04.300 moments like this, man. But I can't

00:57:06.360 go out there and talk about it.

00:57:08.180 I can't be like, you don't believe in Jesus? Listen to this

00:57:10.280 story. Come here. Well,

00:57:11.920 you know, in puberty, you don't, I'm not having

00:57:14.280 sex. This is eighth grade. I'm not having sex.

00:57:16.660 There's no reason to always shave.

00:57:18.360 oh this time but this time out this morning i woke up and i was like you know what i don't

00:57:23.380 like the bush today i'm getting rid of it got rid of the bush and i got pantsed see i said that

00:57:29.340 pants but what that's great isn't it yeah no it was great no but it's great that it happened on

00:57:34.060 the day when you were cleanly shaven that's what i'm saying i was very dude that was dude i'm not

00:57:38.180 kidding when it went down everybody was like and i looked down i looked down and the first thing i

00:57:43.520 thought about i was like thank god i shaved today because i can't even because i've seen your 1.00

00:57:47.900 fucking arms and you're a hairy mother like i can see your dick being like one of those like 1.00

00:57:53.120 little peeping toms out of a bush of hair do you know what i'm saying like you just see just the 1.00

00:57:57.620 head of it no because you stand in my dick when you said that no whoa whoa dick ransom guy are 0.99

00:58:05.200 you in here have you sent a message to george hey please please twice if you're in trouble george 1.00

00:58:11.020 Show yourself, Dick Ransom guy.

00:58:13.520 Are you driving the Uber?

00:58:15.180 Come on, quick.

00:58:16.300 I still think it's called de-panced.

00:58:18.480 Okay, it's not.

00:58:19.780 Listen to me.

00:58:20.560 Yes.

00:58:21.240 Boys, if you're watching this episode

00:58:23.000 and you have unruly bald hair,

00:58:25.440 it's not doing anything for your size.

00:58:27.140 It's not making you look any bigger. 1.00

00:58:28.740 Clip that motherfucker. 1.00

00:58:29.840 Trim it up, especially by using man's... 1.00

00:58:33.280 Fuck! 1.00

00:58:34.700 That could have been the best alley-oop sponsor of all time. 1.00

00:58:38.440 But honestly, if you trim the hair, it'll, it'll, it exposes more of the base of your 0.99

00:58:43.860 penis as well. 0.99

00:58:44.760 So then when you, when you have, when you get hard, is this, is this happening?

00:58:48.400 Are you really, I never, I never, um, I, I never knew any of this.

00:58:53.060 Yeah.

00:58:53.560 Well, that's okay.

00:58:54.300 Good.

00:58:54.700 No, bro.

00:58:55.620 I got my first pube.

00:58:57.820 Greatest moment of my life.

00:58:59.740 Great.

00:59:00.040 No, it's a big moment.

00:59:00.800 I see my first pube.

00:59:01.760 I said, finally, again, I was the last first grade one first grade.

00:59:06.300 No, that's wrong.

00:59:08.440 Just kidding

00:59:09.520 When did you get your first pube?

00:59:12.040 Dog, I came out with a mustache

00:59:13.460 I don't know how to tell you about this 0.75

00:59:15.980 They deadass called me Pablo every single day

00:59:18.580 Because I had a Mexican mustache 0.51

00:59:20.980 As a baby 1.00

00:59:21.880 No, in the third grade, I swear to God 1.00

00:59:25.360 My mother nared my shit 1.00

00:59:27.200 Because I was too young to shave 1.00

00:59:28.340 I came out like this

00:59:29.980 They made fun of me because the teacher would be like

00:59:32.300 George, what's the answer?

00:59:33.220 And I'd be like

00:59:33.560 Your eyebrows are

00:59:35.360 and they're like oh you can't read and he has a mustache and i was like wait

00:59:41.340 oh and they were right about both i couldn't read and i had a mustache so imagine me when

00:59:46.800 they did popcorn and they're reading the dog went to the park popcorn george and then i'm like oh

00:59:51.700 i always feel bad for the kid who couldn't read in the popcorn yeah they always no i know they 0.91

00:59:58.460 fucking went popcorn george i would popcorn somebody's that would be popcorn george they 0.99

01:00:02.700 Just keep fucking coming back to me 1.00

01:00:04.240 Do you know how long it took 0.99

01:00:05.520 It was very traumatizing

01:00:09.020 But sometimes they would do that purposely though

01:00:11.460 Just to like

01:00:12.360 So we didn't get any work done 0.92

01:00:14.360 We would pass it on to the kid that couldn't read 1.00

01:00:16.680 Because it's like fuck you 1.00

01:00:17.480 I put the whole team on my back 1.00

01:00:18.920 It'll take 10 hours to read one sentence

01:00:22.180 I used to be sick at reading

01:00:24.120 Today junior

01:00:25.440 Classic 1.00

01:00:26.900 I'd run through those fucking sentences 1.00

01:00:30.040 Popcorn Logan 0.99

01:00:32.120 show off right not a word wasn't read by me perfectly articulated i was that dude too i

01:00:37.800 used to love it i used to like turn it on like a full acted out like do it rip through it and

01:00:43.340 i would shoot a look to christine she was there i would try to time it so i'd read ahead of what 0.97

01:00:49.020 i think they're because this motherfucker i'm not kidding they would go from him to him back to me 1.00

01:00:52.440 every time so i would time it because these motherfuckers do two sentences and then pass 1.00

01:00:56.540 it to me so i'd pre-read it so i knew it but then i always fucking got they they would they 0.99

01:01:01.840 caught on so they started reading extra and i was like fuck that's what i read already and then 0.97

01:01:05.620 they popcorn me and it was damn i never i never thought about that before because like you know 0.98

01:01:12.440 when you're a kid you're so busy like making fun of the other kids that you don't feel bad for the

01:01:18.420 fact that they can't they have to read six sentences ahead just in case someone calls on

01:01:21.780 i would sweat more in english class than i did pe class talking about empathy yeah you're it's a

01:01:29.340 it's a gene that's missing when you're when you're that young you know what i'm saying it's

01:01:33.460 something that you grow into through perspective with perspective and and your own life struggles

01:01:37.520 you you start to garner that empathy gene some kids have it i didn't i always had it because i

01:01:43.340 got made fun of a lot so i was like i know how that feels just i never i never bullied it but

01:01:48.180 like you know that's how that's how a lot of kids are but i just i i never thought about the idea of 0.87

01:01:52.520 like being that kid in class that's like fearing for their fucking life of getting called on oh 0.96

01:01:58.820 Dude, I would go to the bathroom all the time, right? 0.98

01:02:01.020 Because I knew they would look at me.

01:02:02.080 Because the guy would be like, you get called on?

01:02:04.540 Dude, this is the camera.

01:02:06.080 That's me.

01:02:06.600 I'm in class right there.

01:02:07.660 So pick my name.

01:02:08.540 He's like this.

01:02:09.180 Pick my name.

01:02:10.140 George.

01:02:11.560 And he would look at me. 1.00

01:02:13.040 That's a fucking no. 0.99

01:02:14.920 That he's like, he made it clear that he's coming for me. 1.00

01:02:17.580 And I was like, oh, fuck. 0.99

01:02:18.500 So that's when I would be like, can I go to the bathroom? 1.00

01:02:20.840 And he's just like, you're already gone.

01:02:21.860 And I was like, but I'm going to go again.

01:02:23.420 That was also a fun way to kind of let your crush know that she's on your mind.

01:02:27.620 Yeah, that was great

01:02:28.860 Dog, dog, dog

01:02:30.100 Ashley

01:02:30.840 The dog went to the park

01:02:35.100 Ashley

01:02:35.880 Sierra

01:02:39.660 Yeah

01:02:42.920 You know I was in the spelling bee? 0.99

01:02:44.920 Like I fuck with words heavy 1.00

01:02:46.620 Same, same 0.99

01:02:47.680 I actually think I actually

01:02:49.640 I can't remember 0.96

01:02:50.700 I fuck with words heavy 0.99

01:02:52.020 Yeah, yeah, same, same, same 1.00

01:02:53.160 I can't remember if I won it

01:02:54.400 Or got like second place

01:02:55.420 But yeah, I used to love it

01:02:56.620 i would love to do a spelling bee on this show so at some point give me give me a word give me a

01:03:01.220 word i would love to do that dude genuine g-e-n-u-i-n-e genuine oh i'm sure you're in a

01:03:09.280 spelling bee well wait ready what's bro you always say guarantee what g-u-a-r-a-n-t-e-e guarantee

01:03:17.880 H-I-P-P-O-T-A-M-U-S

01:03:25.000 H-I-P-P-O-T-A-M-U-S 1.00

01:03:25.020 H-I-P-P-O-T-A-M-U-S 1.00

01:03:25.520 Damn, he shit on you, bitch 1.00

01:03:26.580 He did, he left me in the dust 1.00

01:03:27.520 That's why I got second place

01:03:28.280 Go, give me a word

01:03:28.920 That's why I got second place

01:03:29.800 What?

01:03:30.460 Millennium

01:03:30.740 What?

01:03:31.700 Millennium 0.90

01:03:32.060 M-I-L-L-E-N-I-U-M

01:03:34.700 Millennium

01:03:35.380 What?

01:03:35.960 Oh

01:03:36.480 Yo, can I

01:03:37.420 Can I

01:03:38.220 Two N's? 1.00

01:03:39.280 Fuck this shit 1.00

01:03:40.020 Wait, really? 1.00

01:03:40.820 Hold on, wait

01:03:41.160 Can I say one thing, too?

01:03:42.480 Can we not do any more of this?

01:03:44.120 This is the one day 0.99

01:03:45.360 I do not want to do a fucking spelling bee on this show 0.99

01:03:47.700 Any other show 0.99

01:03:50.000 Besides a show where I didn't sleep

01:03:51.580 And I'm on literally on

01:03:52.980 Feel like I'm on crack again 0.99

01:03:54.640 Any other fucking day Dylan 0.99

01:03:56.780 We don't have to 0.99

01:03:57.280 One more word

01:03:59.700 Come on man 1.00

01:04:02.100 Give me one more fucking word man 1.00

01:04:03.580 Utopia 1.00

01:04:04.320 Utopia

01:04:05.980 U-T-O-P-I-A

01:04:08.260 I know I said it

01:04:10.540 Shout out Travis Scott

01:04:11.500 For the Utopia merch

01:04:13.000 Kinesiology

01:04:14.440 Kinesiology

01:04:16.260 I think I know it, you want to take it?

01:04:20.280 K

01:04:20.880 I 1.00

01:04:22.060 N

01:04:23.120 E 1.00

01:04:24.600 S

01:04:25.900 I 0.95

01:04:27.080 O

01:04:28.220 L 0.99

01:04:29.220 O 1.00

01:04:30.320 G 1.00

01:04:31.200 Y 0.84

01:04:32.200 Kinesiology 1.00

01:04:33.160 Fuck yeah, motherfucker 1.00

01:04:34.420 Fuck yeah 1.00

01:04:36.180 I spelled kettle wrong 1.00

01:04:38.040 Against all odds

01:04:39.900 I was the bro

01:04:41.360 who made it in the spelling bee 1.00

01:04:43.140 with a bunch of fucking nerds. 1.00

01:04:45.200 Because I was a nerd too, disguised as a bro. 1.00

01:04:48.080 Not in that picture.

01:04:49.180 Not in that picture.

01:04:50.460 But all my bros had my back.

01:04:51.680 They made signs.

01:04:52.360 My parents came.

01:04:53.100 Big deal, right?

01:04:54.060 Like, I was going to do this

01:04:54.980 because I was, like, deceptively good with spelling

01:04:57.280 for whatever reason. 0.99

01:04:59.080 First fucking round. 1.00

01:05:01.920 Logan. 1.00

01:05:03.800 Kettle. 1.00

01:05:04.920 Oh, you stupid motherfucker, dude. 1.00

01:05:07.340 How do you fuck that up? 1.00

01:05:08.580 Spell kettle. 1.00

01:05:09.180 K-E-T-T-L-E

01:05:12.060 I said E-L, dude 1.00

01:05:13.340 I'll tell you why

01:05:15.460 You know this kid

01:05:16.900 There's a kid named Andrew

01:05:19.440 Played football with him, wide receiver

01:05:20.960 Had hands, last name Kettle 1.00

01:05:23.500 He fucked you 1.00

01:05:25.000 Spelled E-L 1.00

01:05:25.840 So my whole life, I grew up thinking it was K-E-T-T-E-L

01:05:30.460 So I spelled it like that 0.98

01:05:31.780 And they're like

01:05:32.400 Like everyone was shocked

01:05:34.640 I spelled it wrong like this

01:05:36.700 For a second

01:05:39.040 the spelling of the word almost changed

01:05:42.000 like in the dictionary but

01:05:43.540 there was a rift in space and time

01:05:45.640 I could just see GP in the audience like 0.99

01:05:47.740 I fucking hate this kid 1.00

01:05:49.180 just fucking hate this kid 1.00

01:05:50.740 GP came to all my everything he supported him and I spelled 0.99

01:05:54.000 it wrong I was so embarrassed 0.98

01:05:55.500 first fucking round man 1.00

01:05:57.440 did he give you shit 1.00

01:05:58.760 everyone did and I almost 1.00

01:06:01.780 yo when we were getting on the football field with this kid

01:06:03.760 like I

01:06:04.740 sorry Andy

01:06:07.100 to this day I resent him

01:06:08.860 because of that because i hate him especially bro we'd be playing football this dude wouldn't

01:06:16.780 it'd be like it'd be like fourth and eight and they'd pass him the ball he'd catch it and then 1.00

01:06:22.400 drop it and now i'm even like fucking more angry because i'm like you motherfucker you can't get a 0.99

01:06:29.100 first down and i lost that spelling because of you because of you cattel your name's cattel 1.00

01:06:34.140 It's not fucking kettle, you fucking scumbag. 1.00

01:06:36.840 Your dad, I can see him coming up to you after the spell. 1.00

01:06:40.200 He'd be, you got it wrong.

01:06:40.840 And he's like, why couldn't you be more like Jake?

01:06:43.240 You already put down 15 bodies on the DC trip.

01:06:46.680 They couldn't put enough tape on his door. 1.00

01:06:49.200 He was fucking everybody. 1.00

01:06:50.740 You fucking failure. 1.00

01:06:52.560 You can't even spell a simple word right. 1.00

01:06:54.700 You idiot. 1.00

01:06:55.760 You got a tiny dick. 1.00

01:06:58.460 They're leaving the school. 1.00

01:06:59.620 They're like, open the door.

01:07:00.440 Open the door.

01:07:01.260 Use the handle.

01:07:01.860 He couldn't get enough tape on his door.

01:07:04.140 They ran out of tape for that kid 1.00

01:07:06.640 There's not enough fucking tape in Nebraska for this motherfucker 1.00

01:07:09.200 He's fucking everybody 1.00

01:07:10.400 He's fucking the teachers 1.00

01:07:11.400 Jake Paul's out of control 1.00

01:07:13.560 He's got 600 bodies

01:07:16.560 And he's in 7th grade dude 0.99

01:07:18.180 I swear that kid be fucking broke 0.98

01:07:21.260 And nothing's changed 0.99

01:07:22.500 I think he got better

01:07:25.100 Yeah he got better

01:07:26.960 He got more efficient

01:07:28.040 He's even better now

01:07:29.960 He's like 4 a day dude

01:07:32.100 He's focused

01:07:33.900 He smacks, bro.

01:07:35.260 I'm going to be honest with you.

01:07:38.200 Let me make sure all the liabilities are covered here.

01:07:41.080 Compliance.

01:07:43.880 A girl I was hanging out with the other night.

01:07:46.360 When's this airing?

01:07:47.320 Tomorrow.

01:07:48.480 No, it's not.

01:07:49.320 No, we're running it.

01:07:49.980 We're going to run this one tomorrow.

01:07:51.540 All right, so if this is running this week, 1.00

01:07:53.740 a girl I was hanging out with the other night completely plutonically

01:07:56.720 came out and was like, I'm like, you know, 0.99

01:08:00.540 first question I got to ask you, have you fucked Tyga? 0.99

01:08:03.500 because that's the first question i said i fucked no he slid in my dm of course uh i did you know 1.00

01:08:10.340 i responded but i did not have sex with him but she she had this like look she like looked down 0.99

01:08:16.160 at the end like no but i you know i dm me but i but i never hooked up with him and like looked 0.99

01:08:20.840 away and i was like what the fuck was that little glitch at the end are you short out for a second 0.98

01:08:23.960 we hide bro i should tell you right now i did fuck jake paul though and i was like 0.99

01:08:30.320 I can live with that 0.99

01:08:32.760 I can live with that that's not a problem

01:08:34.300 But I mean it part lays into the conversation

01:08:35.820 He's putting in work

01:08:37.780 It's better than Tiger

01:08:38.780 I cannot believe the volume

01:08:41.060 I've never seen anything like

01:08:43.940 The volume 1.00

01:08:44.860 The quantity of women 0.99

01:08:46.980 He is in around near 1.00

01:08:50.060 Slid in

01:08:52.180 I've never seen anything like it 1.00

01:08:54.340 Not one girl

01:08:56.400 That we've talked to

01:08:58.260 Has not been DM'd by

01:09:00.040 do you want to know why

01:09:01.440 the way that we approach this podcast

01:09:06.460 the way you approach boxing

01:09:08.260 he puts that level 0.62

01:09:12.600 of effort into DMing girls 1.00

01:09:14.380 like imagine that for a second

01:09:15.700 the level of effort you put into

01:09:17.760 approaching a fight with the best

01:09:20.340 boxer of all time your whole

01:09:22.360 life force your energy everything you do

01:09:24.240 is about that one fight

01:09:25.360 he looks at DMing randos

01:09:28.560 with that same

01:09:29.580 level of respect just all day he's like well if i set up the right strategy if i pull the right

01:09:34.880 team members in algorithmically speaking i feel like we could hit our quota this year 0.87

01:09:38.800 which is you got a quote which is 762 000 dms fuck we gotta get started boys the two raw team 0.83

01:09:49.240 is all over the dms this week i can't believe it he's probably got like one of those little 0.95

01:09:53.720 machine that it spins around with a finger on the end of it and just types out words and sends

01:10:00.680 random words i was actually thinking about this because i just started watching uh entourage

01:10:04.280 and there's this ongoing joke in the show where his boys like get girls because of him right what

01:10:09.520 if hear me out now yeah because this is getting crazy this is not an exaggerated thing like

01:10:14.620 this is we talk about this off the podcast this man has been sliding into every single female

01:10:18.760 that exists. 0.98

01:10:20.700 Well, into their DMs.

01:10:23.220 That's what I'm saying.

01:10:24.020 What if it's his boys

01:10:25.360 just get on...

01:10:26.600 They're allowed to be

01:10:27.520 on his Instagram

01:10:28.080 and be like,

01:10:28.860 yo, let me just DM this girl 1.00

01:10:29.960 and invite her to a party. 1.00

01:10:31.360 I don't think that's what it is

01:10:32.820 because from what I understand,

01:10:34.120 like his interest levels

01:10:35.360 and actually facilitating

01:10:36.460 the meetups

01:10:36.980 and like how much time

01:10:38.860 he spends... 0.99

01:10:40.060 He'll buy you new boobs. 0.99

01:10:41.460 That's what I'm saying. 0.99

01:10:42.260 Like, bro, this isn't some like...

01:10:43.440 I swear to God, 0.99

01:10:43.820 he buys his girls new boobs. 1.00

01:10:45.640 He's bought so many new boobs. 1.00

01:10:46.960 Yo, you want some new titties? 1.00

01:10:48.760 No, no, no, no, no. 0.89

01:10:49.980 Oh, Logan Paul didn't like what he fell on that bus.

01:10:53.220 I can change that.

01:10:54.620 I can change.

01:10:55.420 Yo, Sierra, what's good?

01:10:56.680 Like, yo, check your DMs.

01:10:58.280 Sierra, check your DMs. 1.00

01:10:59.240 Check your fucking DMs. 1.00

01:10:59.820 Right now. 1.00

01:11:00.580 Annie, check your fucking DMs right now. 1.00

01:11:02.220 Annie. 1.00

01:11:02.700 Check your DMs with Tiger right now. 1.00

01:11:04.160 I want to fucking know if either of you couch dwellers are getting new titties. 1.00

01:11:08.180 Check them. 1.00

01:11:09.060 Check them.

01:11:10.220 Annie, why are you not moving?

01:11:11.700 Are you high on acid?

01:11:12.980 Check the DMs.

01:11:13.980 Yeah, that was a weird.

01:11:15.160 She was just like.

01:11:15.660 She's looking at me like I have 10 heads.

01:11:17.600 I'm asking a very simple request here

01:11:19.740 Are you clear, Sierra?

01:11:23.060 No DMs from Tyga?

01:11:24.700 If he did DM you

01:11:25.820 What's the course of action, you think?

01:11:29.140 Where you stay at

01:11:30.320 Where you be at

01:11:31.240 That's what he says

01:11:32.200 We're clear

01:11:32.740 Really? 1.00

01:11:34.120 Oh, shit 1.00

01:11:34.780 Lights, lights, lights 1.00

01:11:36.240 No one cared about if he slid into your DMs, David 1.00

01:11:39.840 Fuck, I'm so sorry 0.99

01:11:41.100 What happened? 1.00

01:11:48.020 Yeah, now what?

01:11:49.120 I don't know.

01:11:51.280 Did you just malfunction?

01:11:52.200 Why did you just bob your head like that?

01:11:53.340 No. 1.00

01:11:55.420 The fuck is happening? 1.00

01:11:57.500 I don't like this. 1.00

01:12:00.000 Did you just fart out of your mouth? 0.58

01:12:01.940 What was that?

01:12:06.220 Why'd you make that noise?

01:12:08.720 You can't even remake it.

01:12:11.360 Yeah, how'd you remake it?

01:12:12.620 You want to play a game I've seen on TikTok?

01:12:14.320 What's it called?

01:12:14.900 What?

01:12:15.080 I've always wanted to do this

01:12:17.800 We each make a noise

01:12:20.480 It can be any noise, no actual words

01:12:22.860 And try not to laugh

01:12:24.040 First to laugh loses

01:12:25.200 We'll go into a rotation

01:12:45.080 George is definitely the leader 0.99

01:13:08.940 can't read but i can make sure i can make some fucking noises yeah yeah that was more fun on 0.99

01:13:17.320 tic tac we'll keep it on tic tac that was dumb no i think the audience will like it i know but 0.96

01:13:23.100 it wasn't as fun as i thought it would be that's cool that's great yeah honestly incredible like

01:13:27.780 what are you doing i found this out when i was in high school no eighth grade i yawned like a

01:13:32.560 like you know how a dog yawns they go yeah so i was yawning this is a true story i was yawning

01:13:38.700 this way and i can only do it facing this way is that why you always tilt your head okay yeah

01:13:43.600 okay i can only do it i don't know i found this weird thing in my throat

01:13:47.080 i can only do this way so it was this perfect timing where i was yawning and there was this 0.92

01:13:54.720 dude that was on so much drugs and i always wondered why the teacher never fucking said 0.89

01:14:00.560 anything it was so apparent he would fucking drool george that was me well 0.97

01:14:05.920 why are you telling this story 0.96

01:14:08.640 it's so mean

01:14:09.300 and so every day

01:14:10.820 he would do something weird

01:14:11.920 he would make noise

01:14:12.660 he would freak out

01:14:13.440 he would wake up from sleep

01:14:14.380 so I was yawning

01:14:15.240 and I was like

01:14:15.920 I wonder what Eric's doing today

01:14:17.160 so I yawned

01:14:19.060 and went

01:14:19.460 bro

01:14:21.640 bro

01:14:23.400 what I mean

01:14:24.020 this dude

01:14:24.860 tripped out

01:14:27.240 dog

01:14:28.220 he went

01:14:28.700 he was like

01:14:29.160 and he was like

01:14:29.560 it's like

01:14:31.720 whatever drug he was on

01:14:32.860 didn't approve that sound

01:14:34.260 and did

01:14:35.600 not want to do with anything that

01:14:37.600 kid. Bro, I see what he got.

01:14:39.940 He was like,

01:14:40.320 five minutes.

01:14:44.440 I'm staring in front. I keep turning.

01:14:48.240 Bro, I got so scared.

01:14:50.520 I raised my hand and I go, Eric's on

01:14:52.180 drugs. And everybody

01:14:54.200 got so mad at me for telling on him, but I thought

01:14:56.200 he was going to stab me. So I was like, fuck 1.00

01:14:58.280 this dog. I'm out. 1.00

01:15:00.100 And so he got sent to the office and got suspended. 0.99

01:15:02.240 Yeah, it was fucked up. I feel like 0.99

01:15:04.140 I feel like the kid definitely for the longest time

01:15:06.000 probably thought you were like a robot

01:15:07.340 like some sort of machine 0.99

01:15:08.420 and for the first time there was a chink in your armor 1.00

01:15:10.720 and he's on to you 0.99

01:15:12.280 he's like I fucking knew it 0.99

01:15:16.860 and I'm watching this kid 0.99

01:15:17.860 my eyes are peeled

01:15:19.640 I would also do that in class

01:15:22.660 when the teacher was talking on a mic

01:15:24.360 you know how they had those mic things

01:15:26.500 so every time she would talk

01:15:28.100 I could do it with my mouth closed

01:15:29.360 I trained myself to do it with my mouth closed

01:15:31.060 so I would just be like

01:15:33.180 What's your training regimen look like?

01:15:35.760 A lot of poking at my throat.

01:15:37.360 I don't want to talk about it.

01:15:39.240 But I've played that game, Blow or Blow, before.

01:15:42.760 You have met Dick Ransom.

01:15:45.140 I've met him a few times.

01:15:46.100 Just letting you know right now, that dude, Eric,

01:15:48.440 from your class, I'm going to tell you.

01:15:50.140 He's coming for me. 1.00

01:15:50.960 He's got you on a people to kill list, man. 1.00

01:15:53.140 100%. 0.99

01:15:53.500 Yo, you've seen, which movie was it?

01:15:57.060 Billy Madison.

01:15:58.740 Back to the Adam Sandler movie.

01:15:59.900 Billy Madison with, was it Buscemi?

01:16:02.200 Yes.

01:16:02.440 he's putting the lipstick on 1.00

01:16:04.380 listening to the fucking music 0.99

01:16:05.540 he called him he's like hey I just wanted to 0.99

01:16:08.180 let you know I was really mean to you in school

01:16:10.240 I don't know

01:16:12.480 where I am right now

01:16:13.380 are you still telling the story or something?

01:16:15.680 no 1.00

01:16:16.240 he comes back and shoots the guy in the ass 1.00

01:16:20.580 at the end of the movie 0.98

01:16:21.900 it is actually kind of funny because I've never really told that

01:16:24.400 story out loud about why I ratted him out

01:16:26.520 but also what if he's listening to this

01:16:28.400 podcast and his whole life is

01:16:30.280 falling apart because he did not know if that

01:16:32.220 sound actually came out of me or if it was drugs

01:16:34.180 and now he knows it actually

01:16:36.140 came out of me. And so he just

01:16:37.980 fucking 0.99

01:16:38.340 I'm not going to say it. 1.00

01:16:41.680 I was going to say I actually censored myself

01:16:43.960 on one thing from Hunt. What the first

01:16:46.100 time ever. You went like this in the beginning of the

01:16:48.020 podcast. Oh, I'm down. This is it.

01:16:50.180 It's over. Quick drop. It's over.

01:16:52.160 Hit that subscribe button, guys. That's it. What a great

01:16:53.960 episode. Fun episode. How? How did

01:16:56.060 we pull this off? I don't know. I wasn't sure

01:16:58.100 if we were going to be able to. I'm actually quite impressed

01:17:00.000 with you guys. Thank you. And I'm going

01:17:02.000 honest, I enjoy this way more than

01:17:03.760 Sober, you guys. So please keep drinking

01:17:05.900 and doing drugs. Oh my god.

01:17:08.240 But two boys only shows 1.00

01:17:09.740 that fucking smacked in a row. 1.00

01:17:12.540 Like two in a row. That's 1.00

01:17:13.820 correct because the audience loved

01:17:15.940 it. We knew we were on to something last time with the last

01:17:17.980 episode. We knew it. The energy was infectious.

01:17:20.120 Which one are you talking about?

01:17:21.180 We all ready for this?

01:17:25.240 I got so many DMs.

01:17:28.100 You all ready for this? Dude, I

01:17:29.820 forgot about that. You have fucking 1.00

01:17:31.600 I'm 3 o'clock in the morning 1.00

01:17:33.020 I'm like why is 0.98

01:17:33.480 everybody fucking 1.00

01:17:34.080 what the fuck 1.00

01:17:34.800 am I ready for what 1.00

01:17:36.420 what the fuck 0.99

01:17:37.160 is happening 0.99

01:17:37.660 hit that subscribe button

01:17:40.280 uh

01:17:41.220 Lisa

01:17:44.140 tell them about

01:17:45.040 our new show

01:17:45.940 we have a new podcast

01:17:47.280 it's called

01:17:47.980 don't lie to me

01:17:48.820 I'm Lexi Iwanu

01:17:50.060 we're two best friends

01:17:51.280 22 years apart

01:17:52.480 but so close at heart

01:17:53.920 and I'm Lisa DiGiulio

01:17:55.440 the old one

01:17:56.340 which means we have

01:17:57.220 wildly different references

01:17:58.420 occasionally different opinions

01:17:59.800 and at this point

01:18:00.740 in my 50s

01:18:01.480 I've lived it all.

01:18:02.980 Now in my 30s, being the founder of New Shoes,

01:18:05.900 Good Taste is my business.

01:18:08.080 Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

01:18:10.980 or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:18:14.640 Hi, this is Kylie Brakeman.

01:18:16.540 Angela Jaritana.

01:18:17.480 Jeremy Culhane.

01:18:18.180 Patrick McDonald.

01:18:19.100 And we're the hosts of the Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists podcast.

01:18:22.920 The Improvised Character Comedy podcast,

01:18:24.960 where each week a new panel of artists discuss their craft.

01:18:28.480 Join us for a panel of Eurovision participants.

01:18:31.480 And we do a little Halloween sometimes.

01:18:34.160 Does the Pope dress up?

01:18:35.420 He winks on Halloween.

01:18:37.660 He gets right up next to the microphone.

01:18:39.420 I hear you can almost hear the eyelashes hit each other.

01:18:42.500 You've never seen Italy so quiet as when the Pope gets up to wink on Halloween.

01:18:47.840 Listen to Artists on Artists on Artists on Artists every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app,

01:18:52.340 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:18:55.320 I'm Lacey Mosley, author, actor, stand-up comedian, creator, and host of Scam Goddess

01:19:00.040 podcast the true crime comedy podcast all about robbery fraud and those who practice it each week

01:19:05.840 i bring on an amazing guest oh i scammed them what i could talk to you for an hour you're a

01:19:10.740 generational yapper like me that's why i had to make yapping a job and now you can catch full

01:19:15.660 episodes of my show on youtube start listening to scam goddess on the iheart radio app apple

01:19:20.920 podcast or wherever you get your podcast i'm hamza and i'm martin and we're the hosts of

01:19:27.700 out of character the best podcast in the world is that what they said wait they said that yeah

01:19:32.440 yeah they said that the best podcast with two best friends who jabber and talk about topical

01:19:37.440 trendy funny stuff give our input on it that's what you've needed i think up until now listener

01:19:42.460 listen out of character on the iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast

01:19:47.260 sometimes i just feel like a burden you're a bird you fly you're martin and we are out of character

01:19:52.780 podcast dude you messed up the clip

Impaulsive with Logan Paul - March 16, 2021

E265 Too Hungover To Podcast

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Transcript