JustPearlyThings - May 21, 2023


All Modern Women Can Learn Something From Her


Episode Stats


Length

7 minutes

Words per minute

211.21823

Word count

1,687

Sentence count

144

Harmful content

Misogyny

12

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we are joined by a very special guest who grew up in a very religious household. She shares her story of how she was raised in a religious household and how she managed to break away from the expectations of her family to pursue her dreams of becoming a Muslim convert.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Okay, do you think you're above average and what do you bring to an above average guy?
00:00:04.180 I think I am an average girl, as you said, Tori.
00:00:06.640 It's a bit silly if we don't grow.
00:00:08.540 There's always time to grow.
00:00:10.160 There's always space for knowledge.
00:00:13.560 I grew up in a very religious household.
00:00:16.100 So for me, it is quite naturally to submit.
00:00:18.280 Once you understand how things go, it's not a bad thing.
00:00:22.420 Like, it's not negative.
00:00:23.800 It's not toxic.
00:00:25.260 If anything, I feel like in this society, this modern world,
00:00:28.800 do you know how powerful you are as a woman to submit?
00:00:32.520 In this world, you can be an animal if you want to.
00:00:35.260 You have the freedom to say, I'm a slug.
00:00:38.140 And yet you choose to submit for your man.
00:00:40.460 I find that very powerful and there's nothing wrong with that.
00:00:43.020 I feel like it makes sense.
00:00:44.220 There's balance in the house.
00:00:45.380 He knows what to do.
00:00:46.140 You know what to do.
00:00:46.980 And it just brings nurture as well.
00:00:49.540 And you taught me that as well.
00:00:50.800 Oh, thank you.
00:00:52.140 But I did grow up in that kind of household.
00:00:54.240 Okay, so you have a model of like a...
00:00:56.980 That's something guys look for, your family background, for sure.
00:01:01.140 I still live with my family.
00:01:02.140 I'm not allowed to move out until I get married.
00:01:04.660 Really?
00:01:05.320 Yeah, there's a line that I can't cross.
00:01:07.300 I've heard guys say that's like a green flag where it's like,
00:01:10.460 yeah, if she still lives with her parents, that's good.
00:01:12.780 I've heard guys say like if she... 1.00
00:01:14.360 Like they look at your family background to see if your mom submitted to your dad.
00:01:18.240 Yeah, I'm actually 25.
00:01:19.840 If it gets like late, I'll have a phone call.
00:01:21.960 Like, where are you?
00:01:23.280 What time are you coming home?
00:01:24.520 This is my house.
00:01:25.740 I live with my family too.
00:01:26.800 So when I was younger, I didn't like it at all.
00:01:28.980 But now that I'm 25, I appreciate it so much because I've avoided so much.
00:01:33.060 I've avoided so much.
00:01:34.100 It's amazing.
00:01:34.940 Yeah.
00:01:35.300 So thank you, my brother.
00:01:36.460 Thank you, mom.
00:01:37.120 Thank you, everyone, honestly.
00:01:38.780 Okay.
00:01:39.300 Do you have anything else you want to add to it?
00:01:41.240 So you live at home, you know, you've seen a successful relationship.
00:01:44.480 What else?
00:01:46.360 You know how to cook?
00:01:48.160 I've got forced to learn how to cook.
00:01:50.300 I got forced to learn how to cook.
00:01:51.520 And I hated it, but now I'm so thankful, honestly.
00:01:54.820 What types of food do you like to cook?
00:01:56.460 So I love Arab food.
00:01:58.160 So for me, it's all about the rice and the chicken and the sauce.
00:02:02.420 So I would say that, yeah.
00:02:05.080 But I don't mind learning other culture as well.
00:02:07.980 I don't really mind.
00:02:09.000 Could you date a man outside your culture?
00:02:11.060 If you're God-fearing, yes.
00:02:12.420 For me, you need God in your life.
00:02:14.640 Otherwise, there is just, I don't think anything can be successful.
00:02:18.460 But that's my opinion.
00:02:19.680 Because if you don't, and a family man.
00:02:22.120 Because for me, if you don't respect your mom, you're not going to respect a stranger.
00:02:26.000 I have a, wait, so what religion are you?
00:02:28.160 So I grew up, dad was Christian, mom was Muslim.
00:02:31.460 So I did have both sides and locked them both. 0.64
00:02:34.700 And I'm so happy that I had both because it opened my mind as well.
00:02:38.200 Um, yeah.
00:02:40.260 Which one do you, um, they're so similar.
00:02:47.380 Really?
00:02:47.980 Yeah.
00:02:48.560 That's so interesting.
00:02:49.560 Yeah.
00:02:49.760 They're so similar.
00:02:50.800 I used to actually go to church, churches a lot.
00:02:53.220 Um, uh, again, I don't, please.
00:02:55.900 It's just my opinion.
00:02:57.120 Uh, for me, for me, my problem.
00:02:58.560 No one's going to yell at you.
00:02:59.340 Yeah.
00:03:00.280 My problem was I just didn't, I couldn't understand how, like, um, Jesus was God.
00:03:06.300 Okay.
00:03:06.500 Uh, so now when, then when I done my research in Islam, it was like, he's a prophet.
00:03:10.840 So for me, that made sense.
00:03:12.080 And I thought, okay, like it answered my question, but they're the same.
00:03:15.240 We need to do good.
00:03:16.100 There's tradition.
00:03:17.180 There was respect for me.
00:03:19.780 The end result is the same.
00:03:21.360 I'm curious because I've noticed in Christian churches, they're kind of driving men out where
00:03:26.560 there's not a lot of young men in Christian churches anymore.
00:03:28.920 It's like, if you look at them, like, if you go into a church under like, I don't know,
00:03:33.380 35 ish, it's mostly women. 1.00
00:03:35.360 Um, and I'm curious, is, are there more young men in like Muslim religions?
00:03:40.520 Um, from what I'm seeing now, there's a lot of converts.
00:03:43.000 I feel like, um, there's, there is more happening now.
00:03:47.180 So, um, yeah, I think there's, there's loads of men in the mosques.
00:03:50.980 Yeah, cause I think it's one of the few religions that, that keeps traditional masculinity where 0.53
00:03:56.820 the Christians are kind of, they're kind of gone. 1.00
00:03:58.520 Yeah, cause you know, back in the days it was, it was so similar, but now people are trying
00:04:03.680 to make it so modern and it's like, you can't pick and choose.
00:04:06.160 Yeah.
00:04:07.160 Yeah.
00:04:08.160 And they just like pander cause most of the women are the ones like paying into churches. 1.00
00:04:12.020 So the problem is they just pander to women.
00:04:14.120 Yeah.
00:04:14.340 And I've heard like some churches, like you can have gay marriages and stuff and it's
00:04:18.240 like, you can't pick and choose.
00:04:19.640 And the other thing is they always have like, what do they call it?
00:04:22.780 Um, corn addiction groups for the men.
00:04:24.960 Um, but they never have social media addiction groups for the women. 0.98
00:04:28.500 And it's like, they always like put out women on a pedestal, even if she's like ran through
00:04:32.240 and had two kids, you should still wait till you're married with her. 0.97
00:04:34.680 It's like, what are you, what?
00:04:39.680 It's like simping.
00:04:42.200 Um, okay.
00:04:42.820 I was just curious.
00:04:43.880 Uh, what about you?
00:04:44.800 Um, I know I'm average, um, reason being is because I'm not a wife yet.
00:04:48.340 I think the best way to measure if someone is above average is to look at their relationship
00:04:54.120 status.
00:04:55.220 And I feel like if a man hasn't signed some papers and made a promise in front of God
00:04:59.360 to be with me forever and have kids with me, then that definitely means I am an average
00:05:04.120 woman.
00:05:05.000 Um, it's like going into a singing competition and then, you know, the judge is Whitney
00:05:08.800 Houston.
00:05:09.280 If Whitney Houston tells me I am not good, then that means I'm definitely, you know, not above
00:05:13.560 average when it comes to singing.
00:05:15.280 So, um, yeah, in terms of my relationship status, I'm still single.
00:05:18.340 I haven't found anyone who is, you know, ready to commit to me.
00:05:22.220 So that means there's some things that I need to improve on.
00:05:25.140 So yeah, I'm average and I'm happy about it.
00:05:27.300 It just goes to show that I'm a work in progress.
00:05:29.440 And so what, you're going to leave the value of yourself in the hands of somebody else?
00:05:33.680 Not the hands of someone else, but it's just, you should not really.
00:05:37.120 No, she's right.
00:05:38.740 For me personally, I feel like for me personally, I feel like a person's ability to maintain
00:05:43.620 a relationship goes to show just how good of a person that they are.
00:05:47.840 It shows their compatibility.
00:05:49.440 It shows their patience.
00:05:50.880 And it also mirrors how a person can value them as well.
00:05:54.120 So for me, I think relationship is the best way to measure.
00:05:57.320 So for example, if I saw a woman and she was 50 with six cats, I would think there's something
00:06:01.980 really wrong with that woman. 1.00
00:06:03.180 If I saw a woman who was like 20 and married, let's be real, the best way to measure how 1.00
00:06:08.180 a person, it's like when you see a female and she has like no friends, you would know 1.00
00:06:12.020 there's something wrong with that woman. 1.00
00:06:13.160 Those extreme examples are valid. 0.99
00:06:15.280 So I definitely feel like the best way to see how a person is, you know, a good person
00:06:20.180 is to see how they are with their relationships.
00:06:22.260 And I feel like with me, marriage is that epitome of like, okay, this person is a good person.
00:06:26.580 So yeah, I would say until I'm married, I definitely think I'm above average.
00:06:30.040 That's an interesting perspective.
00:06:31.440 I think you're right because it's like, you have to judge based on your results.
00:06:35.760 It's like saying I got married to the wrong person.
00:06:38.780 What if the other person is abusive?
00:06:42.120 Exactly.
00:06:43.280 Possessive.
00:06:44.820 Why do we have this?
00:06:46.760 Oh, if you're married, it's got to be to the wrong person.
00:06:49.180 He's got to be abusive.
00:06:50.740 But I think like you as a woman, the type of guy you can maintain says something about
00:06:55.360 you.
00:06:55.580 So it's got to be a quality husband.
00:06:57.040 To an extent.
00:06:58.480 So I definitely agree with you in the sense that like, if you marry the wrong person,
00:07:02.160 and that definitely means you're average, because how could you be so silly to not realize
00:07:05.920 what's best for you?
00:07:06.820 So in that case, but let's be real, there's a lot of marriages that have worked out.
00:07:10.640 And for those that have worked out, I definitely think they are above average, because your
00:07:14.320 ability to keep someone happy, to be patient, to be compatible, to provide for them.
00:07:19.760 Like for me, when I think of above average, I think of someone who's nurturing, someone that
00:07:23.620 can cook, someone that, and when you package that, that's basically wifey material. 1.00
00:07:27.840 Traditional, traditional women get scooped up by 25. 1.00
00:07:30.620 The best women are gone by 25 out of the dating market, because the best women want a family 1.00
00:07:34.900 and want kids.
00:07:35.840 And they find the men that want a family and want kids and they're gone.
00:07:38.760 If I could get married tomorrow, I'm absolutely weird.
00:07:41.560 Honestly.
00:07:41.920 Honestly, you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this
00:07:49.900 platform.
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