JustPearlyThings - May 21, 2023


All Modern Women Can Learn Something From Her

Topics
relationship quality
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
Whitney Houston
Male Feminist Tries Mansplaining Pearl Drunk Feminist Tries To Corner Pearl With This Question

Episode Stats


Length

7 minutes

Words per minute

211.22

Word count

1,687

Sentence count

164

Harmful content

Misogyny

12

sentences flagged

Toxicity

6

sentences flagged

Hate speech

8

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we are joined by a very special guest who grew up in a very religious household. She shares her story of how she was raised in a religious household and how she managed to break away from the expectations of her family to pursue her dreams of becoming a Muslim convert.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Okay, do you think you're above average and what do you bring to an above average guy?
00:00:04.180 I think I am an average girl, as you said, Tori.
00:00:06.640 It's a bit silly if we don't grow.
00:00:08.540 There's always time to grow.
00:00:10.160 There's always space for knowledge.
00:00:13.560 I grew up in a very religious household.
00:00:16.100 So for me, it is quite naturally to submit.
00:00:18.280 Once you understand how things go, it's not a bad thing.
00:00:22.420 Like, it's not negative.
00:00:23.800 It's not toxic.
00:00:25.260 If anything, I feel like in this society, this modern world,
00:00:28.800 do you know how powerful you are as a woman to submit?
00:00:32.520 In this world, you can be an animal if you want to. 0.93
00:00:35.260 You have the freedom to say, I'm a slug. 0.53
00:00:38.140 And yet you choose to submit for your man.
00:00:40.460 I find that very powerful and there's nothing wrong with that.
00:00:43.020 I feel like it makes sense.
00:00:44.220 There's balance in the house.
00:00:45.380 He knows what to do.
00:00:46.140 You know what to do.
00:00:46.980 And it just brings nurture as well.
00:00:49.540 And you taught me that as well.
00:00:50.800 Oh, thank you.
00:00:52.140 But I did grow up in that kind of household.
00:00:54.240 Okay, so you have a model of like a...
00:00:56.980 That's something guys look for, your family background, for sure.
00:01:01.140 I still live with my family.
00:01:02.140 I'm not allowed to move out until I get married.
00:01:04.660 Really?
00:01:05.320 Yeah, there's a line that I can't cross.
00:01:07.300 I've heard guys say that's like a green flag where it's like,
00:01:10.460 yeah, if she still lives with her parents, that's good.
00:01:12.780 I've heard guys say like if she... 1.00
00:01:14.360 Like they look at your family background to see if your mom submitted to your dad.
00:01:18.240 Yeah, I'm actually 25.
00:01:19.840 If it gets like late, I'll have a phone call.
00:01:21.960 Like, where are you?
00:01:23.280 What time are you coming home?
00:01:24.520 This is my house.
00:01:25.740 I live with my family too.
00:01:26.800 So when I was younger, I didn't like it at all.
00:01:28.980 But now that I'm 25, I appreciate it so much because I've avoided so much.
00:01:33.060 I've avoided so much.
00:01:34.100 It's amazing.
00:01:34.940 Yeah.
00:01:35.300 So thank you, my brother.
00:01:36.460 Thank you, mom.
00:01:37.120 Thank you, everyone, honestly.
00:01:38.780 Okay.
00:01:39.300 Do you have anything else you want to add to it?
00:01:41.240 So you live at home, you know, you've seen a successful relationship.
00:01:44.480 What else?
00:01:46.360 You know how to cook?
00:01:48.160 I've got forced to learn how to cook.
00:01:50.300 I got forced to learn how to cook.
00:01:51.520 And I hated it, but now I'm so thankful, honestly.
00:01:54.820 What types of food do you like to cook?
00:01:56.460 So I love Arab food.
00:01:58.160 So for me, it's all about the rice and the chicken and the sauce.
00:02:02.420 So I would say that, yeah.
00:02:05.080 But I don't mind learning other culture as well.
00:02:07.980 I don't really mind.
00:02:09.000 Could you date a man outside your culture?
00:02:11.060 If you're God-fearing, yes.
00:02:12.420 For me, you need God in your life.
00:02:14.640 Otherwise, there is just, I don't think anything can be successful.
00:02:18.460 But that's my opinion.
00:02:19.680 Because if you don't, and a family man.
00:02:22.120 Because for me, if you don't respect your mom, you're not going to respect a stranger.
00:02:26.000 I have a, wait, so what religion are you?
00:02:28.160 So I grew up, dad was Christian, mom was Muslim.
00:02:31.460 So I did have both sides and locked them both. 0.64
00:02:34.700 And I'm so happy that I had both because it opened my mind as well.
00:02:38.200 Um, yeah.
00:02:40.260 Which one do you, um, they're so similar.
00:02:47.380 Really?
00:02:47.980 Yeah.
00:02:48.560 That's so interesting.
00:02:49.560 Yeah.
00:02:49.760 They're so similar.
00:02:50.800 I used to actually go to church, churches a lot.
00:02:53.220 Um, uh, again, I don't, please.
00:02:55.900 It's just my opinion.
00:02:57.120 Uh, for me, for me, my problem.
00:02:58.560 No one's going to yell at you.
00:02:59.340 Yeah.
00:03:00.280 My problem was I just didn't, I couldn't understand how, like, um, Jesus was God.
00:03:06.300 Okay.
00:03:06.500 Uh, so now when, then when I done my research in Islam, it was like, he's a prophet.
00:03:10.840 So for me, that made sense.
00:03:12.080 And I thought, okay, like it answered my question, but they're the same.
00:03:15.240 We need to do good.
00:03:16.100 There's tradition.
00:03:17.180 There was respect for me.
00:03:19.780 The end result is the same.
00:03:21.360 I'm curious because I've noticed in Christian churches, they're kind of driving men out where
00:03:26.560 there's not a lot of young men in Christian churches anymore.
00:03:28.920 It's like, if you look at them, like, if you go into a church under like, I don't know,
00:03:33.380 35 ish, it's mostly women. 1.00
00:03:35.360 Um, and I'm curious, is, are there more young men in like Muslim religions?
00:03:40.520 Um, from what I'm seeing now, there's a lot of converts.
00:03:43.000 I feel like, um, there's, there is more happening now.
00:03:47.180 So, um, yeah, I think there's, there's loads of men in the mosques.
00:03:50.980 Yeah, cause I think it's one of the few religions that, that keeps traditional masculinity where 0.53
00:03:56.820 the Christians are kind of, they're kind of gone. 1.00
00:03:58.520 Yeah, cause you know, back in the days it was, it was so similar, but now people are trying
00:04:03.680 to make it so modern and it's like, you can't pick and choose.
00:04:06.160 Yeah.
00:04:07.160 Yeah.
00:04:08.160 And they just like pander cause most of the women are the ones like paying into churches. 1.00
00:04:12.020 So the problem is they just pander to women.
00:04:14.120 Yeah. 0.74
00:04:14.340 And I've heard like some churches, like you can have gay marriages and stuff and it's
00:04:18.240 like, you can't pick and choose.
00:04:19.640 And the other thing is they always have like, what do they call it?
00:04:22.780 Um, corn addiction groups for the men.
00:04:24.960 Um, but they never have social media addiction groups for the women. 0.98
00:04:28.500 And it's like, they always like put out women on a pedestal, even if she's like ran through
00:04:32.240 and had two kids, you should still wait till you're married with her. 0.97
00:04:34.680 It's like, what are you, what?
00:04:39.680 It's like simping.
00:04:42.200 Um, okay.
00:04:42.820 I was just curious.
00:04:43.880 Uh, what about you?
00:04:44.800 Um, I know I'm average, um, reason being is because I'm not a wife yet.
00:04:48.340 I think the best way to measure if someone is above average is to look at their relationship
00:04:54.120 status.
00:04:55.220 And I feel like if a man hasn't signed some papers and made a promise in front of God
00:04:59.360 to be with me forever and have kids with me, then that definitely means I am an average
00:05:04.120 woman.
00:05:05.000 Um, it's like going into a singing competition and then, you know, the judge is Whitney
00:05:08.800 Houston.
00:05:09.280 If Whitney Houston tells me I am not good, then that means I'm definitely, you know, not above
00:05:13.560 average when it comes to singing.
00:05:15.280 So, um, yeah, in terms of my relationship status, I'm still single.
00:05:18.340 I haven't found anyone who is, you know, ready to commit to me.
00:05:22.220 So that means there's some things that I need to improve on.
00:05:25.140 So yeah, I'm average and I'm happy about it.
00:05:27.300 It just goes to show that I'm a work in progress.
00:05:29.440 And so what, you're going to leave the value of yourself in the hands of somebody else?
00:05:33.680 Not the hands of someone else, but it's just, you should not really.
00:05:37.120 No, she's right.
00:05:38.740 For me personally, I feel like for me personally, I feel like a person's ability to maintain
00:05:43.620 a relationship goes to show just how good of a person that they are.
00:05:47.840 It shows their compatibility.
00:05:49.440 It shows their patience.
00:05:50.880 And it also mirrors how a person can value them as well.
00:05:54.120 So for me, I think relationship is the best way to measure.
00:05:57.320 So for example, if I saw a woman and she was 50 with six cats, I would think there's something
00:06:01.980 really wrong with that woman. 1.00
00:06:03.180 If I saw a woman who was like 20 and married, let's be real, the best way to measure how 1.00
00:06:08.180 a person, it's like when you see a female and she has like no friends, you would know 1.00
00:06:12.020 there's something wrong with that woman. 1.00
00:06:13.160 Those extreme examples are valid. 0.99
00:06:15.280 So I definitely feel like the best way to see how a person is, you know, a good person
00:06:20.180 is to see how they are with their relationships.
00:06:22.260 And I feel like with me, marriage is that epitome of like, okay, this person is a good person.
00:06:26.580 So yeah, I would say until I'm married, I definitely think I'm above average.
00:06:30.040 That's an interesting perspective.
00:06:31.440 I think you're right because it's like, you have to judge based on your results.
00:06:35.760 It's like saying I got married to the wrong person.
00:06:38.780 What if the other person is abusive?
00:06:42.120 Exactly.
00:06:43.280 Possessive.
00:06:44.820 Why do we have this?
00:06:46.760 Oh, if you're married, it's got to be to the wrong person.
00:06:49.180 He's got to be abusive.
00:06:50.740 But I think like you as a woman, the type of guy you can maintain says something about
00:06:55.360 you.
00:06:55.580 So it's got to be a quality husband.
00:06:57.040 To an extent.
00:06:58.480 So I definitely agree with you in the sense that like, if you marry the wrong person, 0.99
00:07:02.160 and that definitely means you're average, because how could you be so silly to not realize 0.98
00:07:05.920 what's best for you? 0.98
00:07:06.820 So in that case, but let's be real, there's a lot of marriages that have worked out.
00:07:10.640 And for those that have worked out, I definitely think they are above average, because your
00:07:14.320 ability to keep someone happy, to be patient, to be compatible, to provide for them.
00:07:19.760 Like for me, when I think of above average, I think of someone who's nurturing, someone that
00:07:23.620 can cook, someone that, and when you package that, that's basically wifey material. 1.00
00:07:27.840 Traditional, traditional women get scooped up by 25. 1.00
00:07:30.620 The best women are gone by 25 out of the dating market, because the best women want a family 1.00
00:07:34.900 and want kids.
00:07:35.840 And they find the men that want a family and want kids and they're gone.
00:07:38.760 If I could get married tomorrow, I'm absolutely weird.
00:07:41.560 Honestly.
00:07:41.920 Honestly, you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this
00:07:49.900 platform.
00:07:50.920 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
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