JustPearlyThings - March 31, 2023


Aunty Jenny Explains Intersexual Dynamics In The 60s


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

196.50414

Word Count

2,136

Sentence Count

204

Misogynist Sentences

16

Hate Speech Sentences

27


Summary

In this episode, we discuss the role of women in society and the roles of men in society. We also discuss the age old question of whether or not a woman should get married if she is not a virgin. We discuss the difference between being a virgin and being a traditionalist and what it means to be a modern woman.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I think we're in a unique period of time
00:00:02.800 where I think because of everyone being able to work,
00:00:06.040 I think we really need to readdress
00:00:07.680 how we relate to each other as men and women.
00:00:09.660 So I wouldn't as much say
00:00:11.480 people should stay in their roles and et cetera,
00:00:14.120 but I really think there needs to be
00:00:15.460 a really conscious effort
00:00:16.780 to kind of rebalance that relationship
00:00:20.520 because it's not the 1960s anymore.
00:00:22.700 So the rebalance means still restructuring those roles.
00:00:25.720 So you know your position.
00:00:26.500 I agree with you on a level, yeah.
00:00:27.480 The only difference is that years ago,
00:00:31.600 everybody was happy as they are.
00:00:33.520 No.
00:00:33.880 No, listen.
00:00:35.100 You weren't born years ago, I was.
00:00:37.260 No, I don't buy it.
00:00:38.100 Right, well, can I finish?
00:00:39.420 You were not there.
00:00:40.620 You weren't born?
00:00:41.580 Yeah, but I don't buy it.
00:00:42.180 You weren't born.
00:00:42.420 If we wouldn't be here, you know.
00:00:43.640 She's not even been selling it.
00:00:44.980 Let her finish.
00:00:45.460 You weren't born.
00:00:46.560 Okay.
00:00:48.400 Years ago,
00:00:50.560 one wage would have kept a whole house.
00:00:54.200 That's what people fear to realise.
00:00:55.600 One wage would have kept a whole house.
00:00:58.080 So the men went out and worked
00:00:59.980 and the women stayed home,
00:01:01.880 done their side hustles
00:01:02.660 and the women ran the house.
00:01:04.740 Then all of a sudden,
00:01:06.000 they wanted bigger houses.
00:01:07.480 They wanted bigger.
00:01:08.260 So then it took two people to go and work.
00:01:11.440 The difference is that
00:01:12.500 two people can work
00:01:14.240 and still have those same roles.
00:01:17.420 And when people think about
00:01:19.600 men having their roles
00:01:20.560 and women have their roles,
00:01:21.600 because I worked,
00:01:23.980 my other half worked,
00:01:25.700 I would say like,
00:01:26.820 we have pink jobs and blue jobs.
00:01:28.840 But he cooks better than me.
00:01:31.040 If he comes home first,
00:01:32.520 he's going to cook.
00:01:33.440 It doesn't diminish his role as a man.
00:01:35.660 Thank you.
00:01:36.420 And it's all about cooperation.
00:01:38.380 And that's the only difference
00:01:39.380 between then and now
00:01:41.240 is that one wage
00:01:43.580 could have kept a whole household.
00:01:45.880 Now the way things are changing,
00:01:47.420 the way things are moving,
00:01:48.280 you need two wages.
00:01:50.160 But because now you need two wages,
00:01:52.180 it doesn't mean that you're equal.
00:01:54.660 Somebody still has to lead.
00:01:56.340 But the women are thinking,
00:01:58.000 oh, I earn my own money now
00:01:59.820 and he earns his own money.
00:02:01.440 So all these rules are outdated.
00:02:03.560 No.
00:02:05.160 I don't think they're outdated.
00:02:06.620 I just think that
00:02:07.700 you still need to work together
00:02:09.500 and you can still have those roles.
00:02:11.560 There's people out there
00:02:12.420 that have got married,
00:02:13.580 that have still got traditional values.
00:02:15.260 They're bringing in two wages
00:02:16.460 and they make it work
00:02:17.980 because they each know their roles.
00:02:20.180 And because they are traditional,
00:02:21.580 like from the start,
00:02:22.540 not like,
00:02:23.200 oh, I'm going to be a modern woman
00:02:24.080 and then all of a sudden
00:02:24.600 I'm going to forget that I'm not a virgin
00:02:25.800 and get married and I'm traditional.
00:02:27.240 I'm talking about
00:02:28.120 the ones that are traditional
00:02:29.400 from the start,
00:02:30.180 like get married and work.
00:02:31.680 And I know a few young people like that,
00:02:33.880 like your age
00:02:34.660 and a bit older
00:02:35.700 that are married with children
00:02:37.180 and they both work,
00:02:38.500 but they still have traditional roles.
00:02:40.320 They still have traditional roles.
00:02:42.640 Can I say,
00:02:43.400 what if some women are waiting
00:02:44.480 to find men with traditional roles?
00:02:47.760 Are they traditional women?
00:02:50.660 You have to adapt to society.
00:02:53.220 You can't want a traditional man
00:02:55.340 and you're not traditional.
00:02:56.660 Traditional women are suffering bare.
00:02:59.200 I've been seeing a lot of videos
00:03:00.440 of virgins coming out
00:03:01.460 and I say,
00:03:01.900 we also need to be recognized.
00:03:03.840 We keep being left behind.
00:03:04.840 Wait, are we talking virgins,
00:03:06.500 like sexually?
00:03:07.360 Like I'm very confused.
00:03:08.160 My view is that
00:03:11.120 if you're not a virgin,
00:03:12.380 like you're a virgin,
00:03:13.240 you get married,
00:03:14.180 that's the way it was back then.
00:03:15.680 That is traditional.
00:03:16.900 You can be a traditionalist.
00:03:18.540 If you're not a virgin,
00:03:19.540 you are not traditional.
00:03:20.440 In my view,
00:03:21.140 you are a traditionalist.
00:03:23.500 Can I say something
00:03:24.220 that's kind of strange
00:03:24.980 that I actually noticed
00:03:25.820 because I've been watching
00:03:26.540 a lot of like time periods
00:03:27.700 of movies?
00:03:28.420 The purity that we talk about
00:03:31.980 in virgins,
00:03:33.320 the tradition that has come
00:03:34.540 from like centuries,
00:03:35.640 realistically,
00:03:36.280 there's like a pervy old man
00:03:37.660 that were kind of like
00:03:38.400 trying to buy children
00:03:39.720 from like other families.
00:03:41.500 I'm not going to lie.
00:03:42.540 Listen, right,
00:03:42.980 my grandmother,
00:03:43.720 my granddad,
00:03:44.440 listen, right,
00:03:45.700 that's rubbish.
00:03:46.280 My grandmother,
00:03:46.900 my granddad,
00:03:47.500 they got married
00:03:48.000 and my grandmother died
00:03:50.060 at a hundred and a hundred years old.
00:03:51.320 My granddad weren't pervy
00:03:52.460 and they were both virgins.
00:03:54.060 I'm not talking about your granddad.
00:03:55.280 I'm trying to say that.
00:03:56.180 You can't say a whole generation
00:03:57.480 that because it was traditional then
00:03:59.400 that was old men and pervy
00:04:00.760 that they were pervy
00:04:01.620 on young people.
00:04:02.980 Well, okay,
00:04:04.080 I'll put it in another way.
00:04:05.920 Don't generalize.
00:04:06.880 Don't generalize.
00:04:07.800 I'll just put it in another way.
00:04:08.880 You're picking like a nice,
00:04:10.680 you know,
00:04:11.060 a nice example
00:04:11.680 that is beautiful.
00:04:12.620 Well, stop picking the bad ones.
00:04:13.540 I'm just evening it up.
00:04:15.880 That's great.
00:04:16.480 That's fantastic.
00:04:17.160 Another example,
00:04:18.200 like child marriage,
00:04:19.080 it happens all over the world.
00:04:20.820 It's just because
00:04:21.700 and these are the more traditional places
00:04:23.760 in the world.
00:04:24.520 In the Western world.
00:04:25.880 Child marriages
00:04:26.600 in the Western world.
00:04:27.620 I'm just explaining,
00:04:28.660 I'm just explaining,
00:04:30.020 yeah,
00:04:30.540 that the more traditional places
00:04:31.920 in the world,
00:04:32.520 this happens.
00:04:33.400 So if we're in the Western world,
00:04:34.560 we're trying to go back
00:04:35.340 into more traditional values.
00:04:36.620 Where does it happen?
00:04:37.440 Africa, Asia.
00:04:38.760 Which Africa?
00:04:39.660 That's what I want to know.
00:04:40.600 You don't know about child marriage?
00:04:42.260 No, my love.
00:04:42.740 You can't take extreme examples
00:04:44.380 to not prove your point.
00:04:45.460 No, no, no.
00:04:46.020 Because even Nigeria,
00:04:47.420 even Africa is Westernized.
00:04:49.000 No, no, no.
00:04:49.540 I see people that in Africa
00:04:51.140 that speak like Nathan
00:04:53.160 and they've never been to America.
00:04:55.120 You understand?
00:04:55.920 Yes.
00:04:56.120 So you can't say in Africa,
00:04:57.740 okay,
00:04:58.160 you can't take extreme examples
00:05:00.420 to explain what you're trying to say.
00:05:02.340 Child marriage
00:05:02.940 is a whole different
00:05:04.380 from Miami.
00:05:05.380 No, no, no.
00:05:06.140 I'm saying that they speak
00:05:07.240 like American.
00:05:08.680 You understand?
00:05:08.980 I thought you tried to say
00:05:09.900 I've been to America.
00:05:10.400 No, no, no.
00:05:10.900 No, no, no.
00:05:11.600 I'm saying that there's people
00:05:12.600 in Nigeria
00:05:13.220 that speak like they're American
00:05:15.140 and they've never been anywhere.
00:05:17.080 She's saying Africa.
00:05:18.200 Africa is not what...
00:05:19.400 Don't paint Africa
00:05:20.300 like one backwards country.
00:05:21.840 Now I'm for you, my sister.
00:05:23.340 I'm African too.
00:05:24.280 I'm Angolan.
00:05:25.080 I know what I'm talking about.
00:05:26.180 So don't say it.
00:05:26.620 What I'm mentioning is
00:05:27.740 I mentioned Africa,
00:05:28.960 I mentioned Asia,
00:05:29.780 I mentioned certain parts
00:05:30.620 in the world
00:05:30.920 that I'm more traditional.
00:05:31.380 Talk about what you know about.
00:05:32.540 Talk about what you know about.
00:05:33.580 Talk about Angola.
00:05:35.040 Listen, listen, listen.
00:05:35.780 Talk about Angola.
00:05:36.660 Okay, I'll go to Angola.
00:05:38.040 Angola.
00:05:38.200 If you go, even, even,
00:05:39.800 like literally,
00:05:40.500 it's one of the most...
00:05:41.360 This is quite normal.
00:05:42.620 I don't know how people
00:05:43.120 don't understand this,
00:05:43.960 like how underage girls, yeah,
00:05:45.540 that shouldn't even be having sex
00:05:46.720 with grown men,
00:05:47.380 they're doing it
00:05:47.920 because their families
00:05:48.880 are arranging this
00:05:50.160 with other families
00:05:51.340 because of financial gain,
00:05:53.160 whatever.
00:05:53.880 And this has been the tradition
00:05:55.000 from back in the day,
00:05:56.040 kings and queens days,
00:05:57.120 and that's where the idea
00:05:57.780 of purity being
00:05:58.620 what is favoured,
00:05:59.760 that's where it comes from.
00:06:01.100 Realistically,
00:06:01.660 if we really stop
00:06:02.220 to think about it.
00:06:02.940 And some of the most traditional,
00:06:04.860 like the ones
00:06:05.260 that have not been tainted
00:06:06.440 by Western ideals,
00:06:10.060 continues.
00:06:10.240 The majority of marriages
00:06:11.240 in Angola
00:06:11.860 are not child marriages.
00:06:12.920 Oh, by the way,
00:06:13.420 don't listen to the stats.
00:06:14.500 This is a communist country.
00:06:15.740 Ah, she said that.
00:06:16.500 Wow, I was saying,
00:06:17.220 see me see what I have.
00:06:18.100 Oh, she, don't come and,
00:06:19.340 I'm not going to lie.
00:06:20.400 Don't come and actually,
00:06:21.200 don't actually come and do that
00:06:22.640 because it's not fair.
00:06:24.100 Like, don't, like,
00:06:25.200 it doesn't happen in Angola.
00:06:27.580 Like, child marriage does happen.
00:06:29.880 Okay, it does happen.
00:06:31.020 It's something that,
00:06:31.600 it's a problem.
00:06:33.100 Minority.
00:06:33.640 Even, even genital,
00:06:35.100 yes, yeah, mutilation.
00:06:37.160 Those are things,
00:06:37.840 but now you see
00:06:38.440 when a society
00:06:39.100 where we recognize this
00:06:40.260 as it is not meant
00:06:41.780 to be like this, right?
00:06:43.060 So this is why
00:06:43.720 these issues are addressed.
00:06:45.220 But what we're talking about
00:06:46.160 is about modern,
00:06:47.920 modern,
00:06:48.480 even in Nigeria,
00:06:49.080 there's no more.
00:06:49.740 I'm Igbo.
00:06:50.600 Do you know how to say
00:06:51.320 I'm a traditional,
00:06:51.860 a traditionalist?
00:06:52.500 That tradition is still not there.
00:06:53.940 You're not,
00:06:54.380 it's traditionalist,
00:06:55.380 like you said,
00:06:56.140 but it's not as tradition.
00:06:57.320 What's the difference
00:06:58.100 between culture and tradition?
00:06:59.820 Just the legal age
00:07:01.160 for marriage
00:07:01.880 for both men and women
00:07:03.000 in Angola
00:07:03.600 is 18 years old.
00:07:05.480 You are right.
00:07:06.240 It's more prevalent.
00:07:07.280 It's more,
00:07:07.700 it's more prevalent
00:07:08.720 than it is here.
00:07:10.140 But you,
00:07:10.980 you speak as if it's,
00:07:13.100 it's oppressing,
00:07:14.580 like,
00:07:14.940 why are you speaking
00:07:15.980 on something you don't know?
00:07:17.080 I'll tell you,
00:07:18.020 because I do know one
00:07:19.100 and then I'll tell you,
00:07:19.860 I'll go use another example.
00:07:21.040 I'm just,
00:07:21.620 all I'm trying to do
00:07:22.580 is expose the facts.
00:07:24.460 All I'm trying to do.
00:07:25.140 No, no, no,
00:07:26.160 because it's interesting
00:07:27.100 because what I like to do,
00:07:28.280 yeah,
00:07:28.480 is I like people to explore
00:07:29.820 their different ideas.
00:07:31.460 For example,
00:07:31.800 you're telling,
00:07:32.180 go back to the most traditional thing.
00:07:34.060 E.G.,
00:07:34.700 Boko Haram.
00:07:35.600 Yeah,
00:07:35.700 this is just an example.
00:07:36.680 It's extreme,
00:07:37.140 but just to explain
00:07:37.760 what traditionalism actually means.
00:07:39.340 No,
00:07:39.480 but wait,
00:07:40.100 Boko Haram,
00:07:40.680 what they stand for
00:07:41.640 is basically
00:07:42.340 against Western culture
00:07:43.720 because Western culture
00:07:44.600 in their eyes
00:07:45.360 tainted the tradition,
00:07:46.900 what is meant to be there
00:07:48.100 and what should be there.
00:07:48.820 What do they do?
00:07:49.520 They take girls
00:07:50.680 and they marry them
00:07:51.780 all over the world,
00:07:53.060 all over like the place.
00:07:54.840 They kidnap them,
00:07:55.640 in fact,
00:07:55.940 and they marry children.
00:07:57.220 And all I'm saying is that
00:07:58.200 actually the traditional idea,
00:08:00.060 the traditional view
00:08:01.000 of purity
00:08:02.060 is not stemming from
00:08:03.220 a woman.
00:08:03.920 Why does a woman
00:08:04.660 have to be visual?
00:08:05.460 Why does she have to be visual?
00:08:06.440 Is that traditional
00:08:07.640 depending on the culture?
00:08:09.800 No,
00:08:10.040 because that is not traditional
00:08:12.480 throughout the whole Western world.
00:08:14.080 That what you're talking about
00:08:15.220 is tradition
00:08:16.500 that is
00:08:18.100 for that culture.
00:08:19.320 The Western world
00:08:19.900 modernized
00:08:20.420 and that's why it's changed.
00:08:21.280 Because for that culture,
00:08:22.060 for that culture,
00:08:23.360 it is not
00:08:23.960 all over
00:08:25.280 the Western world
00:08:26.380 and things
00:08:27.400 are changing.
00:08:28.660 So that is it.
00:08:29.420 Modernization.
00:08:30.340 If you look
00:08:31.280 at how many
00:08:32.420 child marriages
00:08:33.400 happen
00:08:34.040 over the whole
00:08:35.860 Western world
00:08:37.360 and look at the percentages,
00:08:38.980 it's going to be
00:08:39.800 minute.
00:08:41.020 So you can't stand here
00:08:42.180 and make it like
00:08:42.800 it's a majority
00:08:43.980 because it's not.
00:08:45.580 So traditional
00:08:46.580 doesn't mean
00:08:48.800 child marriages
00:08:50.040 by pervy old men
00:08:51.560 is what you're saying.
00:08:52.840 That's not what I'm saying.
00:08:53.800 That is what you said.
00:08:54.640 What I'm saying
00:08:55.420 is for you to understand.
00:08:57.180 I am using you.
00:08:58.000 I don't want to understand
00:08:58.700 because I don't agree
00:08:59.240 with nothing you're saying.
00:09:00.320 I don't want to understand.
00:09:01.680 You said
00:09:02.360 that tradition means
00:09:03.540 that pervy old men
00:09:04.840 are going to go
00:09:05.400 and sleep with
00:09:06.180 underage children.
00:09:07.180 The way you took
00:09:10.160 the example
00:09:10.760 and then put it
00:09:11.680 into the context,
00:09:12.500 that's why I said
00:09:12.920 that you can't
00:09:13.520 use that example
00:09:14.260 to explain
00:09:15.000 what we're talking about.
00:09:16.000 And the one thing
00:09:16.900 you're taking out
00:09:17.360 of context
00:09:21.840 from a historical
00:09:23.100 perspective
00:09:23.660 is people did not
00:09:24.560 live as long.
00:09:25.760 It was not because
00:09:26.720 the men were pervs.
00:09:27.940 It was because
00:09:28.340 people had to get
00:09:29.080 started a lot quicker
00:09:30.460 in order to reproduce.
00:09:32.900 It was a
00:09:33.360 reproductive strategy.
00:09:34.740 The reason that men
00:09:35.520 like pure women
00:09:37.080 is because they
00:09:38.280 had to ensure paternity.
00:09:39.820 If you were sleeping
00:09:40.740 around screwing
00:09:41.640 the whole town,
00:09:42.640 they didn't know
00:09:43.200 if that kid was theirs.
00:09:45.000 It's not that
00:09:45.760 they're pervy.
00:09:46.840 That makes sense.
00:09:47.580 What is the difference
00:09:49.160 between a 17
00:09:49.940 and an 18-year-old?
00:09:51.460 Okay.
00:09:51.960 Then I'll ask
00:09:52.860 another question.
00:09:53.460 Can I ask you
00:09:53.820 a question then?
00:09:54.440 Yeah.
00:09:54.700 Another example.
00:09:55.880 Cool.
00:09:56.860 Quickly.
00:09:57.260 If that is the case,
00:09:58.380 if that is the case,
00:09:59.500 then again,
00:10:00.420 I'll just say
00:10:01.460 kings and queens,
00:10:03.380 all these times
00:10:04.080 they married young girls
00:10:05.360 and they were not
00:10:06.180 the same age.
00:10:06.940 Young virginal women
00:10:09.020 have, yes.
00:10:10.500 And they were older men.
00:10:12.400 No, but life expectancy
00:10:13.560 back then
00:10:14.060 wasn't even 35.
00:10:15.120 I asked the Eastern Romans.
00:10:16.700 It wasn't even 35.
00:10:18.100 And the girls
00:10:18.560 married younger.
00:10:19.900 Yeah, people got married
00:10:20.980 younger because
00:10:21.760 they did not live
00:10:22.660 as long.
00:10:23.680 Yeah, okay.
00:10:24.480 That was normal
00:10:25.140 back then.
00:10:25.820 Right.
00:10:26.260 That was normal
00:10:26.840 back then.
00:10:27.340 And what I'm trying
00:10:27.780 to explain is that
00:10:28.500 this idea of purity
00:10:30.360 and youth
00:10:31.280 is coming from
00:10:32.240 an outdated context.
00:10:33.340 I think that's a cope
00:10:34.660 because you don't
00:10:35.380 have it anymore.
00:10:36.420 Do you know what?
00:10:36.960 I was just
00:10:37.740 banned on TikTok
00:10:39.120 and we are demonetized
00:10:40.860 on a daily basis
00:10:42.080 on this platform.
00:10:43.920 If you want to help,
00:10:45.400 please consider
00:10:46.120 sending a super thanks
00:10:47.500 below.
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