JustPearlyThings - Discussion on Men Victimization

00:00:00.000 totally agree with what you guys are saying when with the younger guys but

00:00:03.660 something that I've personally noticed out on the street is that the older guys

00:00:07.760 that now have families and have children they're the ones you see during the day

00:00:11.160 pushing the buggies and with two free kids on the street so where roles are

00:00:15.160 reversed maybe now the men are tired spending all day with the kids and then

00:00:19.760 during the night when the wife comes home or they're both both of them at home

00:00:23.280 they're like you know what I'm really tired I just don't want to have any sex 0.99

00:00:26.100 the men that's what I that's what I'm seeing on the streets maybe

00:00:30.000 the roles have been reversed where usually would be the woman I gotta I

00:00:33.720 gotta vehemently disagree with sex just after even speaking to like divorce

00:00:39.960 attorneys like a common complaint is that men they have two kids and then the wife 1.00

00:00:44.880 stops sleeping with them mm-hmm and I've talked to like different attorneys in the

00:00:48.840 US because I'm doing a documentary on the court system here and I've talked to

00:00:51.960 different divorce attorneys in the US and the UK and it's the same problem that

00:00:56.040 sounds more realistic because like the women are like my body's not the same he

00:01:01.500 probably doesn't see me the same and they just let go but guys know they

00:01:05.460 actually they want that they want to sleep with you after you've had kids 1.00

00:01:09.180 because you're the person that they married and all those things but I think

00:01:13.140 women just think because I've given him kids he's not gonna want anything else do 1.00

00:01:17.580 you think that's unfair to man hundred percent yeah hundred percent because

00:01:21.480 at the end of the day men need it more you know yeah yeah yeah what do you guys

00:01:27.840 think why are so many more men sexless so like I've been coaching this stuff now 0.72

00:01:32.880 for ten years and I see a lot of guys they go and try to get better with this

00:01:35.820 stuff a lot of the pickup artists teachings are misleading and they don't

00:01:39.240 work and then they just fall into some kind of victim ideology right so they

00:01:42.540 think okay I'm gonna just fall into red pill and resent women and hate women 0.98

00:01:46.300 and women are the enemy or they think well I don't look like a model so that's 0.90

00:01:50.040 why I can't get girls like the whole black pill stuff or they go to MGTOW and 1.00

00:01:53.400 they say I'm not gonna even bother dating and a lot of guys are already

00:01:56.720 self-conscious about their height or about how old they are about how much money

00:02:00.060 they have and we were talking before the show like we both coached a lot of

00:02:03.540 guys guys come in to interactions just assuming like they're not good

00:02:08.100 enough for whatever reasons and then it becomes a self-fulfilling

00:02:10.980 prophecy because I have a negative mindset and they go down this kind of

00:02:14.340 negative spiral and then they give up because they don't have any other

00:02:16.720 options there's no like light at the end of the tunnel and they try to do

00:02:21.000 these things and there's also this unrealistic standard like on Instagram

00:02:23.640 and stuff like that where you just see people like this is all perfect and

00:02:28.020 this and that and so guys are trying to compare themselves to that and

00:02:30.220 they're like well this isn't for me so a lot of guys would just be become

00:02:33.380 more and more on the sidelines just spectating other guys right and so

00:02:37.220 it's kind of like feast or famine like once I teach you how to how to get a

00:02:40.440 proper mindset and do all the system properly what mindset do you teach them

00:02:44.340 I tell them to think that they're at a hundred out of a hundred at all times

00:02:47.220 and there's a brick wall between them and the external things that happen so if

00:02:51.980 they get rejected or they get insulted anything like that their value stays at

00:02:55.860 a hundred out of a hundred because they're driving it from internally they're

00:02:58.680 not letting people's reactions and people's responses define their worth and

00:03:03.000 then also I tell them to assume they got the girl before they go approach like in

00:03:06.800 public and that makes a huge huge difference like he was saying he focuses

00:03:09.980 really heavily on the mindset that's like most of the battle right there's

00:03:13.500 still tons of strategic elements but if the guy is thinking that he's not good

00:03:17.560 enough and he's trying to win the girl over he's already coming at it from the

00:03:20.520 wrong angle and girls pick up on that right away and they think okay this guy is

00:03:23.980 low value because he thinks that I'm way above him so I'm not I don't teach guys to

00:03:28.260 think they're better than the girls just think they're good enough for any girl and 1.00

00:03:30.880 still keep working on themselves and better themselves as much as

00:03:32.860 possible but that's an empowering message and we usually get clients that

00:03:36.640 are that are virgins or divorcees or anything like that we get them late like 1.00

00:03:39.780 in the first week and you saw on the on the boot camp like a lot of those guys

00:03:42.920 are never taking girls home before and part of it is getting them to believe in

00:03:46.980 themselves but the other part of it is giving them the proper strategy to know

00:03:49.460 how to navigate through the whole system because there can be bottlenecks any

00:03:53.580 step of the way like guys are using random tinder pictures they're not gonna get

00:03:56.980 many matches if they get a match they're gonna send wrong messages if they get a

00:04:00.280 phone number they're gonna send the wrong text and so it's very hard for

00:04:03.080 them to make it through the whole process and they get deflated and then

00:04:06.680 they just give up and then they just go to these other side movements and they

00:04:10.460 just all like sit on these forums and watch these creators that just victimize

00:04:14.240 everyone I think that's very sad because a lot of these guys just need

00:04:18.040 proper coaching like you saw like a lot of the a lot of clients that I get bounce

00:04:22.160 from coach to coach and they didn't get anywhere but they weren't being given

00:04:25.340 the proper mindset the proper system and then when you give them that the

00:04:28.560 results are just almost instant what do you think starts the problem though so

00:04:33.720 it's like if they went to these forums or to these YouTube channels or whatever

00:04:37.260 like something had to start it where it's different today than it was 50 years

00:04:40.320 ago what do you think that is I think you know just with with the advent of of

00:04:44.240 social media and stuff like that and there's there's just so much like like

00:04:47.760 this tinder statistics right it's like if guys aren't using professional

00:04:51.240 pictures at the first thing we do when a guy signs up for my my week programs we get

00:04:54.180 in professional pictures and then Liz and some other girls on the team pick the top 1.00

00:04:57.960 five and then we apply face app so they're going from like average photos

00:05:01.280 to pro photos to the best five pro photos to the face app versions and now

00:05:05.840 they're getting like a night and day difference in the quantity and quality of

00:05:08.660 matches whereas you know before they might have just put up whatever pictures

00:05:13.220 didn't get the result and then they see their friend maybe like you know one of

00:05:16.940 their cool guy friends he's getting a lot of girls but they don't know how to

00:05:20.600 navigate that properly but then when they look on social media they see you know

00:05:24.140 all these perfect looking people and they say well I'm not perfect looking right

00:05:27.420 and I have these flaws and people have these different handicaps they place on

00:05:31.260 themselves where they are cognizant of all these different flaws they have and

00:05:35.560 then they think that that makes them not good enough for the girls and then that

00:05:39.140 causes the rejection and that like reinforces the belief and then it just

00:05:43.400 continues in a cycle right and people are you know not many people are called

00:05:47.120 approaching anyways like even even in your generation stuff like that no but it's

00:05:51.780 gotten even less common now much less and with COVID and stuff like this you

00:05:55.620 know not many people were going out and I think that even once like night venues

00:06:00.300 and stuff reopened not as many people go out anymore and a lot of clients I work

00:06:04.460 with their ego is like very tied to approaching a female in public so if that 0.97

00:06:09.500 girl rejects them they feel horrible about themselves and it's it's tough for

00:06:13.240 them to go back in and try again and then if that rejection happens again it keeps

00:06:17.460 it's like a it's like a negative momentum and then they they just usually

00:06:21.640 give up so my job is to to show them like look you you can totally do this and

00:06:26.580 show them real tangible results and that starts a positive momentum and then they

00:06:30.440 end up with a place of options and they can pick the best one for the girlfriend 0.95

00:06:33.240 or something like this what do you what do you think about the men that say

00:06:36.380 they're afraid to approach because of the me too movement I mean that's a very

00:06:40.200 real thing like I live in Brazil that stuff's not really going on over there yet but in

00:06:44.440 the Western nations it's it's a really bad thing I just did a video on my channel

00:06:47.260 about like in Scotland if you're talking about like a sexual conquest and a woman

00:06:51.820 overhears you can be sent to jail you can be sent to jail yeah it's like a new

00:06:55.660 thing why yeah and in England too like I correct me if I'm wrong but like if you

00:07:01.540 like cat call girl on the street you can get in trouble now right I'm pretty sure 0.99

00:07:06.040 that depends like I'll have to be something like I don't know it depends they

00:07:12.300 won't arrest you it's not an arrestable offense no it does it does it says a lit

00:07:16.620 this legislation well this legislation wait this leg this legislation will

00:07:21.120 criminal criminalize acts including cat calling and making offensive gestures

00:07:25.960 and walking too closely behind someone at night yes like the Scotland thing it's if

00:07:32.280 you brush up against someone and I've been in tons of nightclubs right so I spent a

00:07:36.440 lot of my time in my life for better or worse but you know you inadvertently

00:07:40.200 you're gonna be brushing up against people when you're packed in into a club

00:07:43.380 and that's I can put you in jail now in Scotland if you brush up against someone

00:07:47.740 so what do you say to guys that are in countries with laws like that do you tell

00:07:50.980 them not to approach or what's your what's your solution as a dating coach I

00:07:54.660 mean if they I tell them to move if they can I mean that's pretty extreme but like

00:07:58.120 in Australia for instance like they have a new thing where women can change 1.00

00:08:01.600 their mind about consent during sex and that's you know I have Australian

00:08:05.580 clients and they're just terrified they don't even want to get in a

00:08:09.080 sexual situation because there's no one there to witness that so it's just he

00:08:13.900 said she said right and they're gonna take the side of the girl in a lot of

00:08:16.040 the cases I'm not saying that like bad stuff doesn't happen but it makes guys

00:08:19.700 very apprehensive same with the Scotland stuff guys were already afraid to go

00:08:23.720 to approach and now they don't want to have legal trouble right so as these

00:08:27.580 countries and what they're trying to do is combat harassment of women these are 1.00

00:08:31.200 real problems but when they impose these very strict kind of lockdown measures

00:08:35.820 then it turns men away from speaking and leads to statistics as many of you know

00:08:41.160 I was just banned on tik-tok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this

00:08:46.980 platform if you want to help please consider sending a super thanks below

00:08:51.900 every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible

JustPearlyThings - April 16, 2023

Discussion on Men Victimization

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