JustPearlyThings - April 07, 2023


Every SINGLE Woman Loves This Kind Of Man


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

202.52444

Word count

2,134

Sentence count

159

Harmful content

Misogyny

22

sentences flagged

Toxicity

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

15

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about toxic relationships and how to deal with them. We also talk about why women are attracted to toxic men and why they stay in toxic relationships. We also discuss how toxic men can make a woman feel bad about leaving a relationship.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 How long do you think women want to leave marriages before they do? 1.00
00:00:04.320 How long?
00:00:05.160 Yeah, typically.
00:00:06.320 So from as soon as they get married?
00:00:08.440 Yeah, like they just always say like if a girl starts working out and going to the gym, 1.00
00:00:13.240 she's leaving your ass. 1.00
00:00:15.420 I don't know. 1.00
00:00:16.060 I mean, that's really relative.
00:00:17.540 I don't know.
00:00:17.860 Maybe I would say like six months.
00:00:20.920 Six months.
00:00:21.300 To a few years.
00:00:23.240 It sounds really extreme, but if it keeps happening, there's all these patterns.
00:00:28.160 Yeah.
00:00:28.860 Okay.
00:00:30.000 So what about you guys' experience?
00:00:31.900 Do you guys have ex-girlfriends?
00:00:33.320 No, never.
00:00:34.300 Never had an ex.
00:00:35.440 Really?
00:00:35.960 Yeah, no.
00:00:36.560 I've got a girl now.
00:00:37.440 I've never had an ex.
00:00:37.860 How long have you been with her?
00:00:39.180 Well, we was together 10 years and we split up for three years.
00:00:42.260 Then we got back together.
00:00:43.360 Okay.
00:00:43.880 Yeah.
00:00:44.800 Oh, that's pretty cute.
00:00:46.100 Yeah, so I have an ex, yeah.
00:00:47.480 Does she demonize you? 0.97
00:00:49.060 Oh, yeah.
00:00:49.480 A hundred percent she does, yeah.
00:00:53.340 I'm not going to get into the details because I'm not here to be emotional or anything like that,
00:00:57.000 but it was quite, let's just say abusive, simply.
00:01:02.320 And she loved to demonize me for it. 0.99
00:01:05.940 And, you know, I had the mindset back then.
00:01:09.140 I still do. 0.96
00:01:09.840 You know, like, if she's dressing, as we'd say, like a slag, then I wouldn't have it. 1.00
00:01:14.900 And I said to her, like, if you want to dress like that, that's fine, but don't, like, don't be with me. 0.62
00:01:21.540 You know, you've still got your choice.
00:01:22.700 I'm not controlling your choice, but she'd take that and make me into being controlling.
00:01:27.100 But, like, I don't know.
00:01:30.460 She'd turn me into the demon.
00:01:32.660 I think what she's doing is gaslighting, which sadly happens both ways because I personally have only have one ex,
00:01:42.780 and he did exactly that to me for a good two years.
00:01:46.640 And it's been literally a life-changing experience.
00:01:52.720 And I think what's really sad is that this is literally, like, it doesn't matter what gender,
00:01:56.620 there are good people out there who just, you know, we were simple-minded people who just wanted to,
00:02:01.940 we were excited to meet someone who we thought we were going to be happy with.
00:02:06.060 And these people are, they're so good at manipulating you.
00:02:08.900 They love-bomb you.
00:02:10.140 They say, oh, my God, I love you.
00:02:11.540 I want to have your kids.
00:02:12.580 Like, you just fall for them.
00:02:13.980 And when they have their clothes in you, boom, they start coming in.
00:02:17.660 And you're like, where does this come from? 0.70
00:02:18.920 I think girls like toxic men. 1.00
00:02:21.080 I agree. 0.74
00:02:21.640 I agree.
00:02:22.080 Yeah.
00:02:22.600 I agree.
00:02:23.060 I think, like, there's something you're attracted to about it.
00:02:25.960 Do you know why?
00:02:27.620 Well, I think it's because, like, the same traits the hero has, the villain has, too.
00:02:31.060 So, if a dude is very, like, they always say, like, why does that girl stay with their girlfriend?
00:02:34.960 Or the, why does the girl stay with the boyfriend that beats her up?
00:02:38.100 Well, it's because, like, that aggression that's in the hero is also in the villain.
00:02:42.680 You ask any girl, if, when they say, like, they got a crush, a celebrity crush or something,
00:02:47.600 I guarantee it's going to be the villain in the movie.
00:02:49.900 They like the bad guys.
00:02:51.280 It's just, I'm just...
00:02:53.060 Would it be okay if I just make the distinction and the reason why these girls are getting 1.00
00:02:57.340 it wrong?
00:02:59.080 Yes.
00:02:59.780 They, women actually, go look in a romance novel. 1.00
00:03:03.840 Men like their corn, girls like the books. 0.98
00:03:06.640 We look very differently.
00:03:07.620 And you can go to a romance novel in a bookstore.
00:03:10.000 You can see that girls tend to go for the hunky guys, the vampires, the bad boys, and they 0.98
00:03:16.480 change them, right?
00:03:17.360 It's all about changing them.
00:03:18.140 Now, now, now, now, now, the important thing is, is that they are actually innately attracted.
00:03:24.380 That's what I'm saying.
00:03:25.320 Girls start off the feminine energy does want the man, though they want the masculine, 1.00
00:03:29.460 but because they're jaded.
00:03:31.720 And then they, they had to...
00:03:34.340 What do you mean because they're jaded?
00:03:35.360 They want the masculine because they're jaded?
00:03:36.860 No, because, because I genuinely feel that they, I'll say this from personal experience.
00:03:41.100 Because I, as a, as a young girl, as well as remembered, like I, I have a very traditional
00:03:48.220 family.
00:03:48.760 My mother stayed at home, took care of the kids.
00:03:50.760 My father was the breadwinner.
00:03:52.040 For me, that is normal.
00:03:53.740 That is what I saw myself, envisioned myself with.
00:03:57.060 And sadly, because times have changed, my, my, my mom started saying, you can't just,
00:04:03.560 you know, rely on a guy.
00:04:05.060 You've got to also have your craft.
00:04:06.620 You, you, you've got to have something to bring to the table.
00:04:08.640 So I agreed.
00:04:09.560 I said, yeah, of course.
00:04:10.400 So I went out there.
00:04:12.000 I spent the time on myself and I really like worked on myself, try to be a good, you know,
00:04:16.080 like a good society, sub person in society.
00:04:18.940 But the thing is then in that journey, I became too masculine, right?
00:04:23.320 I overshot.
00:04:24.460 And then I'm starting to give pro vibes.
00:04:27.860 And, and then of course, then these girls are asking why I'm not getting the guy, the 0.90
00:04:32.280 masculine guy.
00:04:32.960 Well, one, um, you're too masculine.
00:04:36.360 I know that because I was there once.
00:04:38.360 I had to teach myself.
00:04:40.700 I had to remind myself that I need to tone it down.
00:04:43.980 There are certain times where that's appropriate, such as when I'm in a more work situation and
00:04:48.660 I have to be more decisive.
00:04:49.860 But when I'm on a date, well, I am different.
00:04:53.640 I, I want, I want a masculine man.
00:04:55.980 I defined, I actually looked at myself and I said, what do I want?
00:05:00.220 Do I want a feminine man or do I want a masculine man? 1.00
00:05:02.100 Why did, why did your mom, why do you think your mom, um, encouraged you to be masculine?
00:05:06.000 If it's, it seemed to have worked out well for her.
00:05:08.260 She got to provide her husband.
00:05:09.720 And like, it's very sad.
00:05:10.500 Actually, we had this conversation and my mom said to me, she said in my times, she said,
00:05:16.360 guys just came up to me all the time.
00:05:18.300 Now I will say this.
00:05:19.400 My mom's very feminine. 0.81
00:05:20.300 She's like the damsel in distress.
00:05:21.560 So she does attract guys anyways, but she was saying like, I would use to walk on the
00:05:26.700 street and I will see great quality men everywhere.
00:05:29.160 Like, I feel like I can just pick them off the street.
00:05:30.920 They're all great.
00:05:31.940 But I don't know.
00:05:32.700 She said, I don't know what's going on.
00:05:34.440 She was like, it makes me really sad, but I feel like guys are not as high caliber anymore.
00:05:39.660 And I'm worried for my daughter.
00:05:41.300 I'm scared that they're going to not be able to deal with themselves and they don't have
00:05:46.240 that person either.
00:05:48.040 So to compensate, she's pushing me on the other direction of being self-sufficient.
00:05:52.640 But the danger of that is that it was overshot.
00:05:55.500 I think that's a common problem now.
00:05:57.460 So yeah, like you said, your mom's pushing you that way.
00:05:59.260 Just to go back on your point that you made before, the fact that you realized you was
00:06:02.280 too masculine, that is what men I think today are asking women to do. 0.99
00:06:08.660 For me, I've got female friends that I've got boyfriends and they sometimes ask me for
00:06:12.540 advice and I just tell them, look in the mirror.
00:06:14.500 And I say, look in the mirror.
00:06:15.980 And I'm not talking about looking at your body, your face.
00:06:17.580 I'm saying, look in the mirror and look at the person you're being.
00:06:20.480 When you're going to restaurants, like, how are you trying to, you trying to dominate
00:06:24.140 the situation when you go to a family gathering, trying to dominate, like, you have to let
00:06:27.800 your man be a man.
00:06:30.280 And women find the problem with that. 1.00
00:06:31.900 Do you guys think there's a shortage of husbands or wives?
00:06:36.320 Depends on the location, I guess.
00:06:38.380 Wives.
00:06:39.060 Wives.
00:06:40.660 That's an interesting question.
00:06:42.260 I'd say there's a shortage on husbands because men, like, it's just not worth it.
00:06:49.880 Like, any logical man, which most men, it's safe to say illogical, I'd say it just doesn't
00:06:54.700 make sense.
00:06:56.820 Oh, because they don't want to get married, is what you're saying.
00:06:59.380 Okay.
00:06:59.760 What do you think?
00:07:00.380 Shortage of husbands or wives? 0.82
00:07:01.660 Depends on where?
00:07:03.060 As I said, I'm from.
00:07:03.900 In the West, in the West.
00:07:05.500 So, so this is England, US.
00:07:09.720 I, I, I don't, I'll be honest, I don't know.
00:07:12.480 I decided you to pick one, pick one.
00:07:13.780 Um, I would say men.
00:07:16.700 Shortage of husbands? 1.00
00:07:17.480 Shortage of husbands.
00:07:18.400 Wives.
00:07:19.520 Um, I can, I'd like you to, so you think, you sort of explained a little bit, you think
00:07:23.520 it's because men don't want to get married?
00:07:25.160 Yeah.
00:07:25.620 Um, I don't think it's that men don't want to get married.
00:07:28.140 Like, I'd love to get married, but to the right woman that I know that wouldn't, like, 0.99
00:07:32.540 I just jack my shit, you know what I mean? 0.97
00:07:35.060 Because I have very big plans for my future, and I'm not trying to risk it for no one, 0.99
00:07:39.160 because, like, if a woman can marry me for a year and take everything that I've worked 1.00
00:07:43.500 for over all these years and put every ounce of effort into, then, like, as someone who
00:07:51.220 wants to get into business, that does not seem like good business, you know?
00:07:54.940 Like, that sounds like a bad move.
00:07:56.820 So, me, that's, that's more of a point to why I think there's less wives. 1.00
00:08:00.200 So, I think, traditionally, and even currently, men court women.
00:08:06.180 We go out and we try to find a woman.
00:08:08.780 So, if we can't find a woman, I think that's the problem now.
00:08:11.740 It's like, we're not, we're not making it blunt enough, like, men don't want to get married
00:08:16.320 to the current women, and we have multiple reasons for that. 1.00
00:08:20.200 Like, let's not talk about OnlyFans, let's not talk about masculine women, like, it's, it's 0.86
00:08:24.980 simple, like, we just don't think women are good enough now for us to settle down 1.00
00:08:29.340 and marry. 0.83
00:08:30.900 So, do you think that women don't think they're good enough for men, or men don't think they're
00:08:34.640 good, or do you think it's, because I think that, like, women don't think men are good 1.00
00:08:39.520 enough for them, even if they're average?
00:08:41.940 Yeah, that's the problem, isn't it?
00:08:43.160 Yeah.
00:08:43.380 Yeah, I think, because if you look in history, I don't, I think women dated and married average 1.00
00:08:50.120 guys, historically.
00:08:51.500 Because a lot, a question I ask on my show often is, like, how much does your submission
00:08:56.020 cost?
00:08:57.420 And, and I say, like, to the point that, like, if he said, quit your job tomorrow, be with
00:09:01.280 the kids, you do it.
00:09:02.240 Yeah, I've seen you ask them for the salary number.
00:09:03.980 And they always say six figures, even if they're fives.
00:09:07.060 Even though that's a percent, how much people, how much men in the world don't say six figures?
00:09:09.900 Yeah, and so then the next question is always, are you a top 10% girl?
00:09:13.840 And they say no.
00:09:14.460 And so it's like, you have girls that are not top 10% asking for a top 10% outcomes in
00:09:19.920 order to submit.
00:09:21.000 I think the word submit bothers women. 1.00
00:09:23.460 Just the word submit bothers them.
00:09:25.040 I think it gets misconstrued, to be honest.
00:09:27.560 I think they, I've heard this before somewhere, I'm not sure where, but I heard that women 1.00
00:09:33.540 tend to think submission means slavery.
00:09:36.200 Like, they think what the man says is just absolutely final without reason.
00:09:42.820 You know what I mean?
00:09:43.620 And when submission really is just, you know, it's not that you don't get a say in the
00:09:49.100 matter.
00:09:49.600 It's just that there's a leader and you're second in command.
00:09:52.580 There's someone in primary command, but you're still in second in command.
00:09:57.280 You know what I mean?
00:09:58.100 And you have a lot of influence too.
00:10:01.060 It's like, like, cause you can, I mean, every, every person knows like that couple that's
00:10:05.880 like really cute.
00:10:06.660 We're like, even, even though the guy's in charge, like the woman's kind of in charge, 1.00
00:10:10.000 cause she's just so feminine and kind of can, can get her, him to like see her point
00:10:14.040 of view.
00:10:14.260 You know, you can't, there's a couple that comes to your head, right?
00:10:16.820 I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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