JustPearlyThings - EVERYBODY Called Her Out On Her Hypocrisy

00:00:00.000 i have a question though if if your if your man was like doing his duties towards you like

00:00:07.520 providing for you and like being there for you emotionally only like a couple of days in a week

00:00:15.120 like he just it was lackadestical about it sometimes he'll be there for you sometimes

00:00:19.680 he just messes around would you stay no you won't right okay that's interesting but i don't i don't

00:00:26.800 mess around no i know i'm no i'm giving the equivalent because what men and women bring

00:00:31.760 to each other are different we don't bring the same things okay so on his end if he wasn't holding

00:00:36.480 up to his duties yeah most more than likely you replace him yeah and i would say that would be

00:00:41.200 fair yeah so that being said do you think it would be do you think it's possible that he he could

00:00:48.080 probably find someone that would bring more to the table for him and that could turn his head

00:00:54.000 yeah 100 and you're willing to take that risk by continuing to go out the only issue is is me

00:01:02.400 going out it shouldn't be an issue shouldn't be an issue is the kid is the kid is the kid biologically

00:01:08.960 his what no you said you guys have a kid together yeah is it his kid oh yeah so i thought you meant

00:01:14.400 that i stepped i'm i'm asking i don't know like i don't know the nature of the relationship right yeah

00:01:18.640 yeah so when i got pregnant is when i got engaged oh okay yeah and she's two now do you do you have

00:01:29.120 any plans to to stop going out anytime soon do you know what it's just my it's just me like this is what

00:01:35.600 i i like i like i like god when i say like okay i like going to day parties i like going out with my

00:01:43.760 girls like i like going having a games night with my girls or movie night like i i like that what if

00:01:50.080 he gave you an ultimatum and said it's either the girls or him who would you pick no i would definitely

00:01:56.320 pick him okay so you would give it up if he made it an ultimatum yeah so if he put his foot down then

00:02:01.760 you would actually well i don't think i would be happy as a person do you think happiness is a choice

00:02:07.200 um yeah okay so so then you could be happy hang on and you still ask other guys for advice when

00:02:23.600 there's something up in your relationship um not always so no no not always but i'm then saying oh

00:02:29.200 do you still sometimes like hey give me some advice on my fiancee but in my garden yeah that's sometimes so

00:02:36.720 in the dating period yeah with him in the dating period i was asking for advice but now

00:02:43.280 we've been together for nearly five years now so these and these guys are still in your phone and

00:02:48.960 they're still like talking to you from time to time etc yeah i see them when i go out i'm curious what's

00:02:54.000 the hold up on the marriage like what's the all you got to do is go down to the courthouse so so when i

00:03:00.080 got engaged was 2021 but i said i wanted to wait till my daughter turns five so she can remember

00:03:06.240 or have a bit of a memory of the wedding why that's just my preference oh okay it just it

00:03:14.160 seems like a silly reason to be older enough to just say it just say it you're not that into him

00:03:18.640 listen when a woman really loves a man she can't wait to escalate the commitment she wants to shout

00:03:22.480 it from the rooftop she wants everyone to know she's running to the altar like this is not this is not

00:03:27.760 how women in love act it's period it's not that i'm not no because if i wasn't that into him i wouldn't

00:03:33.920 be having a baby for him and i wouldn't accept a marriage proposal you wouldn't be going out and 1.00

00:03:39.440 like partying with the girls and having arguments about it having other that's just me as a person

00:03:43.840 yeah i'm not it's how it comes across though i'm not saying that's what it is i'm just telling you how

00:03:49.040 it comes across hmm but if if he didn't like that that's what he saw when he first met me

00:03:56.480 so yes we quarrel about it because it's the amount of going out or whatever but it's not

00:04:03.440 the going out it's just the amount who's watching the kid when you go out oh so i have a big support

00:04:10.000 system like my mom my grandmother and his grandma his mom him don't you think that's kind of like

00:04:17.440 putting your responsibility onto them no so i also sell hair as well so usually in the evenings like his

00:04:25.440 mom would watch my daughter or my mom would watch so i could go and do my deliveries or do what i'm 0.99

00:04:29.600 doing um but i have like throughout the week like i have like set schedules and when she goes so i

00:04:36.560 would just work in between that if i want to go out i'll work in between that schedule

00:04:42.880 that's a crazy to me guys i'm sorry would you guys like i want to actually if i can ask the dudes

00:04:46.800 here would you guys accept that in your marriage hell no no no no way i don't even go together

00:04:53.680 if we go out together then it's different but if it's one person going out and i'm staying

00:04:59.840 this is insane like i actually to me i'm like i'm like flabbergasted like this is

00:05:03.360 insane to me and maybe i'm the crazy one right because the reality is not making sense

00:05:09.280 i i see because most of my friends in relationships and they're doing the same thing did you see your

00:05:14.240 grandmothers do this no did you see your mom do this yeah the moms are kind of where it switches

00:05:21.440 grandmother know right no it's kind of the degradation of wives the last hundred years 1.00

00:05:26.800 to be honest like there's a like our mom's generation they're kind of the shitty wives 1.00

00:05:32.240 a lot and it shows up in the data most of them are divorced you can't really learn much from our 0.95

00:05:36.320 mom's generation like the 40 to like 55 year olds they're just kind of bad wives to be honest 1.00

00:05:42.480 the the grandma yeah i mean how many like so do you believe that you can't be a good wife and go out

00:05:48.560 yeah no i don't think it goes hand in hand i think yeah i think you know occasionally sure but

00:05:54.720 not to a club like i i don't who wants to grow up with a mom that's in the club every other weekend 1.00

00:06:01.120 the reality is i i like noticing trends in society yeah the reality is there's a trend going on and i

00:06:06.720 think let me use the word women like to use a lot spectrum there's something there's something of a 1.00

00:06:11.120 spectrum going on at the lower end of the spectrum you have women that want to be the men and do 0.96

00:06:16.320 whatever they want go out while the men become the nurturing partners on the other end of the

00:06:22.560 spectrum you have the adam 22 situation so it starts from the that first part and usually it keeps going

00:06:29.280 and going on and the woman finds different ways to violate the man till it gets to the point where 1.00

00:06:33.760 she can then even ask for an open relationship or she can ask to sleep with another man on camera 0.96

00:06:39.520 that's how it starts it's like it's just a spectrum basically

00:06:42.800 like the thing about the thing about again like i'm speaking from a position of being 40 and being

00:06:49.040 married and have lots of friends i don't know i don't have any friends that are divorced all my

00:06:51.760 friends are are very successful and definitely married with kids it's like um commitment doesn't

00:06:58.080 doesn't like if you look at the color of commitment it's not gray it's just not like

00:07:02.880 commitment is very black and white and if it doesn't look like commitment it's just not and it's

00:07:07.200 and the and you know and you see these patterns like you were saying in society you see it on the

00:07:10.880 micro level as well right like the guys that had those situations and whenever age like well i don't

00:07:17.920 i'm not really in their spheres anymore like because they just kind of their lives just get wrecked and

00:07:22.560 they kind of go into like repeat mode because a woman has generally just ruined their life 1.00

00:07:28.240 uh yeah this smells a lot like that sorry it just does

00:07:30.960 well it's kind of like it kind of just disrupts the natural like order of things because you're

00:07:39.360 supposed to obey your husband 0.68

00:07:43.440 and so it's like if you're going out and he doesn't want you to it's just kind of out of order

00:07:47.840 so if you're going out but you're also doing everything else that he wants you to do do you

00:07:52.560 still think that it's a problem yeah i would say it's a problem it's a big problem yeah and i'm not

00:07:57.920 saying every person's gonna do it perfectly but i i think that it's not good if we're having wives

00:08:04.960 and mothers go out instead of staying at home with the kids you disagree no i agree yeah i do sorry no

00:08:12.560 yeah i do um yeah i do i don't know like my mom so my mom my mom's 40. growing up she used to go out a lot

00:08:25.280 um i yeah i don't know i don't know is she still married yeah she's married and your dad had no

00:08:32.960 problem with her like going out uh she's not married to my dad but she's married to my little 1.00

00:08:37.920 brother's dad okay yeah uh no um because so i went to school in jamaica um so growing up in jamaica

00:08:46.160 the school bus to school we would like it was crazy like we would be listening to music on the

00:08:54.960 way to school dancing on the school bus on the way to school on the weekends as a young child they

00:08:59.600 had street parties as well so we'll be out like i don't know i feel like that's my culture that's what

00:09:04.560 i'm going into like from young i was going to carnival with my family with my parents how old are you

00:09:10.480 again i'm 25 your mom had you at 15 yeah so you have to say this i think it's a discrepancy of

00:09:17.120 values right because even what you just explained shows that for you it feels like something that's

00:09:21.120 normal right but it's a values thing like for me going to the club is extreme activity like that's

00:09:27.280 super on the end of the spectrum that king was saying extreme but if it feels normal for you that's

00:09:32.400 why you kind of have a hard time seeing it as something that's bad or odd because it's just

00:09:36.640 a normal thing it feels casual and as i said again like everybody around me not saying that i

00:09:43.120 follow fashion or follow everyone around me but my whole um society and the community that i grew

00:09:49.280 up in and my friends but you said you said your grandma did do it though right no not my grandma

00:09:54.000 but that's what i mean it's it's a i i don't think it's like your culture i think it's the culture

00:09:59.760 like a degradation like because if it was the culture then your grandma would have been doing the 1.00

00:10:04.000 same thing it's fairly new west yes it's a fairly new west yeah were there even clubs in that time

00:10:09.600 not really right no that's that's the point it's like like literally when i had the realization i'm

00:10:14.400 like 40 to 55 year old women do not submit to like in general and there's exceptions but they don't 1.00

00:10:19.440 really submit to their husband most of them are divorced most of the guys that are still married 0.96

00:10:23.600 aren't really happy in that marriage like there's just a lot of shitty wives in that generation and 1.00

00:10:28.800 they don't they didn't teach us right because like i mean honestly the fact that you're surprised by 0.85

00:10:33.120 this is like kind of shows the culture but it's a i'm caribbean as well so jamaica caribbean it's a

00:10:41.520 like it's a when you go out like a street party or as you said it's a street party like you go outside

00:10:47.200 you could be outside your house and there's a party you have now sound system you listen to music brother

00:10:51.440 system mom uncle auntie so it's like it is kind of different but of course it's generational

00:10:57.280 but it's a new thing though right would you say your grandma did that too no yeah that's i'm saying

00:11:03.600 it's like a new it's a new cultural trend and it's across the board like i don't think it's just in

00:11:08.960 jamaica like i think there's women in england that do the same thing 1.00

00:11:22.960 you

JustPearlyThings - August 04, 2023

EVERYBODY Called Her Out On Her Hypocrisy

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