How RELATIONSHIPS Starts Nowadays
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
223.28285
Summary
In this episode, we discuss monogamy in relationships and why it's a bad idea to date a woman who already has a child with a previous partner. We also discuss the benefits of having a step-parent in a relationship and how it can help heal a broken heart.
Transcript
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Do you guys agree that in general sex comes before relationships nowadays?
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Sometimes sex happens just if you're just talking.
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But women are in control of who they sleep with.
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So if relationships are failing, women are the ones leaving relationships.
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So it's unfortunate because when we get all the power, we go, boy, we abused it.
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Do you think it's fair for women to expect monogamy if they have children from a previous
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I mean, I think you should expect monogamy if the conversation hasn't been had otherwise.
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I feel like if you've got children from a previous relationship, I think it's probably more likely
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that you're going to get cheated on because you're going to know that that person probably
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It's more likely that they will try and work out if they've already got children from a
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They don't necessarily want to lose that person that they've been in a relationship with.
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I think that as long as there's honesty, you know, then anything's possible.
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And don't ever undermine the power and influence of a stepfather or a stepmother.
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I came from a single parent family who had shouted at my mom.
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And this man came into my life and he's the biggest blessing that's ever happened to me.
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It's the only thing that could potentially eclipse the heartbreak of not knowing your real
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If someone's strong enough, manly enough or willy enough to come in and take that role,
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it doesn't fill the void permanently, but it does help.
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And it puts that male energy as well that you probably need to do.
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Yeah, but the issue is it's just a bad deal for guys, to be honest, to date a single mother.
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I could call my stepdad right now and I'll tell you for a fact.
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I'm a hypocrite on that because I was raised by a single mother.
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My mother to me is an angel, but I wouldn't want to go with a woman who already has a child.
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It's just like, for me, I just wouldn't want to do that because it's a lot to take from
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And at the same time, when you want to meet me, you already know that I have a child.
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And obviously, she will be my number one priority.
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And that's why it's kind of out of respect for me is because I'm like, I can't make a mistake
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There's that fucking Jerry Maguire movie where he's like, you don't shot the putty.
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You don't mess around with a woman who's got a child already.
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It's a different, it's a more dangerous situation because people get hurt more.
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I mean, yeah, you have to put respect and all that.
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But because I'm a single mom doesn't mean I'm a very weak person.
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No, what I mean is because there's a child involved, I treat it more seriously than if
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And if our feelings get hurt, that's one thing.
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But when there's a child involved, that's a whole bigger situation.
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I would be more, oh, is this what I want to do?
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Yeah, but at the same time, if you can be straightforward and at the point and honest
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and to have an open conversation with me, obviously we can agree.
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And if things are not working out, that's completely fine.
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I'm not going to be depressed because you don't want to be in your life.
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And look, that's you, but like, I don't know every girl's as strong as well.
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Because one, if they raise, in the UK, if you raise someone else's kid, you have no
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So it's like you could bond with the kid for 10 years and you have no rights to it.
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Dude, if you've got your own kid, you've got no rights to it if you're a man.
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But if you think of it from like a genetic point of view, there's no reason for a guy to date
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Yeah, but it's never about the legalities or genetics.
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It's about the impression you leave on another fellow human being.
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I've just told you, I've spoken about a stepfather more fondly than I did about my own father.
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And I know we're not making it about me, but God, Jesus Christ, man, someone out there must
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understand it's a beautiful thing to raise a child that's not yours.
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But you know, if you had a son, you wouldn't encourage, if he had no kids, you're not going
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If I met a woman who was beautiful and gave me everything that I wanted, but just so happened
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to have a child, you think I'm going to say no because a child isn't bad?
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But I wouldn't be the person I am today if my stepfather didn't take ownership.
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And I think you, you ended up in a good situation, but I think nowadays it's like, you have so
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much to risk going into relationships as a guy.
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Like you have so much to, like, you don't, you might not even understand it.
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I just know because I'm doing this documentary in the court system.
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So, and it's like, you, you could spend five years of your time, attention and resources,
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I mean, they're already leaving the father of their kids.
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I mean, the, the, one of the last relationships I was in, um, with the mother of one of my
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children, um, she already had three children when I, when I first met her.
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Um, but she already had three children, three beautiful children.
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Um, we were in a relationship for, you know, five years.
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Um, in that time I became somewhat the, these children's real father.
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I'm doing the school runs, picking them up parents evenings, you know, doctor's appointments,
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And then, um, once our relationship had finished, I no longer had any rights to those children.
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I look at them no different from my own biological children.
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They asked, even to this day, they still are my children.
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However, I don't have the same level of, you know.
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Was their dad involved or was their dad like helping?
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And, and even the way that he would raise the children would be slightly different from
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And that's the other, like, that's the other issue I've heard is like, does she respect your
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authority over the kids because they're not your kids?
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Well, it depends how long you've been together because obviously if you're in the beginning
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But if you're not respecting him in the beginning, how does he know you'll respect him in the future?
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Yeah, you're respecting him, but at the same time you have to build that trust over time.
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Just out of curiosity, giving back to those three kids.
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Would you see it as some people insinuating, as something that you wouldn't encourage your next
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I mean, I think it's taken a mental toll on me.
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I feel like the input which I put into those children's lives, you know, has been positive.
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And I think that one day when they grow up, they will really appreciate it.
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It's like, I wouldn't even like to have a breakup with a girl and her keep the dog.
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Let alone like me attaching myself to a child and feeling like I love this kid.
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I feel like it's mine, but it is like literally nothing to do with me after that day.
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I wouldn't, you know, I personally, I believe in hope and, you know, positivity.
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So I would hope that, you know, if my son did go into that situation, he would be able to make the right decisions to make that relationship last and stick it out for the long run.
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Because as I say, you know, a child needs a father.
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And if you can be that positive role, male role model in someone's life, then be it.
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Don't you think that's on her to get back with the dad of her kids?
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Like, isn't it better if the actual dad is in their lives?
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So my question is if she's leaving the, and I'm not talking about your personal story, but if she's leaving the mother, like the father of her kids, which more likely than not she did.
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And it's like, what incentive does she have to stay with you if she didn't even make it work with the guy who she had a child with?
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We don't know that the dad that she was with, he might have been abusing her physically.
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Well, and there's a little bit of a red pill on abuse.
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Not as many women that say they were abused were abused.
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And a lot of people don't know this because of the way the family court system is.
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And if the answer is no, they may not have been.
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Because the family court, you don't need any evidence to accuse and even like sort of prosecute where there's legal consequences a guy of abuse.
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So there's a lot of girls that go around saying that.
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As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
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