JustPearlyThings - John Legend HUMILIATED As Wife EXPOSES Him ｜ @christinegracesmith ｜ Pearl Daily Ep. 86

00:00:00.000 pearly things youtube channel and welcome to another episode of pearl daily where i cover

00:00:04.340 this week's treachery debauchery and craziness today i have a special guest on the channel

00:00:08.700 welcome back christine hello thanks for having me back so today we have a full schedule of

00:00:14.580 debauchery and craziness but guys before we start make sure you go subscribe to christine's channel

00:00:19.180 we're trying to get her to 50k it's over at christine grace smith 50k would be a great

00:00:24.020 christmas present sir also guys also we have new merch coming out um we have whale merch we have

00:00:30.540 women shouldn't vote sweatshirts we have all the new merch so make sure you go check that out the 1.00

00:00:34.820 link to that is in the description you know they they call me a pick me constantly yeah i've heard

00:00:38.960 they say pick me pearl pick me pearl's just saying this because she's a pick me today i found a real

00:00:45.000 life example of a pick me wow okay i found one so let's pull it up seen a bunch of stitches to her 1.00

00:00:50.160 videos no not that one her tick tock because apparently they keep deleting it they banned

00:00:55.440 account number three but you can't get rid of me baby you can't get rid of me baby account number

00:01:00.860 four account number four but her youtube is still up and she goes no not her not her what the no that's

00:01:07.800 me guys not that one stop it but now i'm seeing this new trend on social media her girls are fed up 1.00

00:01:14.360 with the fact that they have to work they don't want to be girl why are you putting why are you bringing 0.97

00:01:17.980 her into this what guys you're you're putting brett into this no that's america's sweet not only that

00:01:25.160 then increasing women to be the opposite of what i think men want no put the actual video of the

00:01:31.340 pick me i i give these people's lives i make their lives too good they don't appreciate what they have

00:01:37.020 they just are giving me all the sass the sass all right play the actual video blessing

00:01:41.640 single and available yes single and available

00:01:48.940 that's me that's me i'm single and available i'm single and available if anybody wants to know

00:02:00.620 you can stop me if you want

00:02:03.540 oh thank you i was i was trying to okay i'm gonna i'm gonna go now okay i will thank you

00:02:14.180 what did he say i will

00:02:15.640 okay i'm single and available though all right okay

00:02:21.000 okay no i think we're gonna keep seeing this i think we're gonna keep seeing women approaching men

00:02:27.740 yeah i mean because men are inevitably have to right yeah because men men can't approach a woman

00:02:33.260 nowadays without having to worry about getting me too'd without having to worry about ending up on

00:02:37.320 tiktok or being called a creep so yeah this this was it's like i felt the cringe in the room could

00:02:43.300 you understand what the grandpa was saying no i couldn't understand what he was saying it sounded

00:02:48.720 like he said something along the lines of you're fine the way you are that's what i heard that's what i

00:02:53.740 heard too but you know it's like we get called a pick me left and right oh she's just a pick me

00:02:59.320 i found you guys an actual pick me i mean i don't know what more she wants to be picked

00:03:03.700 someone pick her and i'm like because this is i i think we're gonna keep seeing this kind of stuff

00:03:10.300 i think it's gonna be it wouldn't surprise me pedro penna weighs in he says yeah no one

00:03:15.720 is biting except grandpa yeah typical woman she wants to get picked but it's not the one she wants 1.00

00:03:21.380 picking her look at grandpa's he's interested she's saying single and available but all they're

00:03:27.880 hearing is single and desperate yeah it's cringy it's cringy tony tones if pick me energy was a video

00:03:35.860 oftentimes my critics and detractors will will constantly say you are a pick me pearl's a pick me

00:03:42.420 but i thought to myself i'm like i get equal amount of criticism from men i was like i think

00:03:47.760 some of my meanest detractors have actually been doomed i'm like i don't you guys i go just as hard

00:03:54.180 well i go pretty hard on the simps i really don't like simps she really doesn't like simps

00:03:59.620 i don't like the simpery now one example of a simp that i see in the media constantly and the reason

00:04:07.480 i would call him a simp what is simpery let's talk about simpery guys you know we throw this term

00:04:12.820 around and they say what does that even mean simpery is in its essence putting a woman on a 1.00

00:04:18.060 pedestal right so an example of simping is these guys that just say my wife is the most amazing

00:04:23.360 special awesome person i know yeah i would say you're actually quite quite harsh on the simpery

00:04:28.820 thing you're you're bar for like someone being a simp is pretty yeah yeah well and there's nothing

00:04:34.180 wrong with saying those things in itself about your wife i'd like to clarify the problem is when

00:04:39.060 they almost refer to their wife like she is a god god yeah yeah and and it's like the language they

00:04:44.800 they speak of her like she is this goddess woman that is so amazing and special and awesome when

00:04:50.640 really she's just a normal person yeah one example of a guy that i think is a bit simpy is

00:04:54.720 john legend he has a completely out of order wife that he barely he barely checks and kind of just

00:04:59.960 lets her do whatever she wants okay i think that's simping you can't just let your chick do

00:05:04.080 whatever whatever she wants and this is one thing i've been studying wives that i think are better 1.00

00:05:09.580 representatives of wives so like i look at um not megan markle the other one kate middleton kate

00:05:15.220 middleton i think she's an example of a wife we can look up to yeah another example of a wife we can 0.96

00:05:20.440 look up to is melania trump yeah and when i think of examples of bad wives one of the first ones that 1.00

00:05:26.000 come to my head is chrissy teigen i mean there's so many we can think of to be real yes but chrissy

00:05:31.660 teigen especially and one thing is because this woman is just always saying too much on the internet 1.00

00:05:36.180 right okay so there's a clip going viral of her asking her where is the strangest place her and

00:05:42.160 john has gotten sex that is not had sex for the internet yeah and well you know i could imagine if

00:05:47.880 some of the wives i said previously were asked this they would just say that's private yeah it's between 0.91

00:05:52.000 husband and wife yeah but chrissy just goes on to just tell everybody is this the best or the worst

00:05:58.500 the best okay the best um probably the obama thing

00:06:06.340 what john what's the oh god oh god john what what what what is what is your wife talking about i don't

00:06:15.800 know we're not we're not we're not we're not we're not oh my god secret service come here jump back in

00:06:29.540 look at john look at i don't why we're not talking about it that's the truth that is an awesome answer

00:06:36.180 not the white house it was not at the white house he was not elected yet yeah okay anyway

00:06:42.940 i'm sorry i'm in trouble now okay so this went viral for two reasons and i wanted to ask you

00:06:50.760 about this because this is more up your lane yes something triggered me in that because i'm that

00:06:55.620 i know that we're talking about chris tegan and i do have a fair bit to say about her but

00:07:00.460 the email they mentioned pizza in a president's email so i'm hearing all of the conspiracies yeah

00:07:07.120 yeah so so on february 8th 2015 chrissy tegan was asked at the grammys about the strangest place

00:07:14.120 her and john legend have gotten intimate she said they had sex at the obama thing they also reference

00:07:19.160 one i don't know what they were up to at the obama thing but people are speculating

00:07:24.480 that it was some sort of weird yeah yeah there's there's there's speculation right and i thought

00:07:32.360 to myself i'm like he said he said in the email something about the channels being watched or

00:07:37.120 monitored or something didn't he yeah yeah i mean you don't know what goes on in high places you know

00:07:44.220 i was thinking i'm like dang it's like wives always snitch on their husbands it's like i was like so

00:07:51.500 many times we just run our mouths and just snitch on it yeah i do i don't think she should have

00:07:56.820 really answered that and even the way she answered it she wasn't looking to him to gauge whether she

00:08:02.420 should say something or not she was looking to the camera and to the people interviewing her that's

00:08:07.240 one of the things i say to look for he's learning it's like because the women that respect their 0.99

00:08:13.000 husbands look to them first like the same way like if they ask if someone asks your boss something

00:08:18.320 you kind of look to them for the answer yeah yeah it's all micro expressions you can tell

00:08:23.480 where the sort of dominance in the relationship is by the micro expressions of the wife and typically 0.99

00:08:28.740 wives who don't have as much respect for their husbands look outside of the relationship first 1.00

00:08:34.580 before they look through the relationship because it's only afterwards i didn't even think about how

00:08:38.360 what that symbolizes too in a relationship because they're looking to the world for advice before

00:08:43.840 because it probably reflects in there like i don't know it's it's weird because when you said that

00:08:48.620 i'm like because that's how they behave in their relationship exactly because they look to the

00:08:51.980 world for validation they look to how they're perceived by the world rather than their husband

00:08:56.420 for the validation and how their husband perceives them so first she looks to the interviewer and the

00:09:00.720 camera and then you can see it in his face you can see his face is kind of like oh why did you say

00:09:05.940 that and then it's instantly again oh i'm in trouble but when she says i'm in trouble she doesn't look to

00:09:11.680 him she looks to the guy who's interviewing her when she says i'm in trouble because she wants that

00:09:15.980 validation from the outside to be like no you're fine you're fine she doesn't want the validation

00:09:20.400 from him right that's at least just what i picked up right so i was recently recommended to watch a

00:09:26.620 woman named dr laura schlessinger because i was told that i remind the audience of her okay because

00:09:34.600 of something i said okay so i've recently been arguing having the conversation about cheating now i'd like

00:09:40.920 to make it clear to the audience cheating is wrong i am not for cheating it is wrong you should not

00:09:46.560 cheat men shouldn't cheat women shouldn't but cheating for men and women is different it's 0.62

00:09:51.260 different absolutely men can have casual sex and it just mean nothing women even in order to have 0.77

00:09:56.820 casual sex generally the men unless she's a complete whore have to be of a certain caliber they have to 0.99

00:10:02.580 make money they have to be attractive enough a lot of times for men she's just there so i argue that 0.94

00:10:07.640 cheating should be worked through and it doesn't have to be the end of the world especially if he

00:10:12.560 cheats on you with a one-night stand yeah i don't think it needs to be the end-all be-all i don't

00:10:17.200 think it's an excuse to end a marriage and i also think a lot of the time it is hard for men to get

00:10:23.440 sex they have to work to get it so my question is a lot of times even when they're married they still

00:10:27.980 have to work yes as a wife why is your husband seeking sex from somebody else you know it's one thing 0.98

00:10:34.960 if you've married in a big star and maybe there's women throwing themselves at him left and right but

00:10:40.840 that's not the norm most people marry average people yeah most people marry average people so

00:10:46.760 my question is why is he going out of his way to get sex from somebody else he says that he's lacking

00:10:51.860 in the relationship and a lot of times women aren't as innocent as we pretend to be a lot of times we 0.94

00:10:56.920 nag a lot of times we criticize and make him not feel like a man a lot of times we starve our 1.00

00:11:03.640 husband's upset like there are parts where we play into the situation yeah i guess this woman dr 0.96

00:11:09.320 laura offers no nonsense advice infused with a strong sense of ethics accountability and personal

00:11:14.780 responsibility she's been doing it successfully for more than 40 years touching millions of

00:11:19.400 listeners weekly so let's pull up the clip of her now we are welcome back to hannity combs now new

00:11:26.160 tonight the new york times just reporting the identity of the escort allegedly hired by governor spitzer the

00:11:32.120 new york times reporting the woman who goes by the name as kirsten is a 22 year old ashley alexander

00:11:38.120 dupre of new jersey uh we're now joined by i'm sure this will come up by the way dr laura schlesinger

00:11:43.260 author of the new book stop whining start living which we'll talk about in just a moment now the same

00:11:48.680 paragraph with

00:11:49.800 and uh you talk about this whole incident and you know actually i never did and that was the point

00:12:05.000 well they asked you about it they asked me in general terms well let me cheat right and you

00:12:10.200 talked about i said i can't talk about the spitzers because i don't know anything about it but you did

00:12:14.520 talk about the whole issue of cheating and he said that the wife uh does not focus on the needs and

00:12:19.560 the feelings sexually personally to make him feel like a man to make him feel like a success to make

00:12:24.760 him her hero and those kinds of comments you said the cheating was his decision to repair what's damaged

00:12:30.360 and defeat himself where he's starving sound like you're making excuses for men who cheat and blaming

00:12:36.760 and you're not hearing this for the first time that you're blaming the woman when a man commits adultery

00:12:42.520 okay the first part of that which they left out of course was that i said if a man is a narcissist

00:12:47.800 a sociopath bipolar a number of things all bets are off he's a jerk however yeah it is and you know 0.81

00:12:55.080 i was here for the proper care and feeding of husbands book and we discussed this then when women do not

00:12:59.960 when women ignore neglect don't nurture don't love don't kiss up don't do all those wonderful things

00:13:06.520 for their husbands they're more susceptible that doesn't mean they are not responsible for their 0.97

00:13:12.440 action treats on his wife doesn't the responsibility lie with that adulterer his responsibility for

00:13:19.640 cheating is his the responsibility for mistreating her man is hers and just because a man cheats does

00:13:26.360 not mean he was mistreated he could just be a horny guy who oh as i said you never heard that word

00:13:31.480 before as i said if he's narcissistic sociopathic then all bets are off right then he's a jerk and 0.82

00:13:37.000 aren't most men who cheat on their wives fall in that category they're narcissistic or they've got

00:13:42.200 they're not respecting their wives no the the wives haven't been respecting them and it's interesting

00:13:47.720 because in my book well two things i want to tell you about call girls in that book the proper care and 0.99

00:13:53.000 feeding of husbands you could tell me a lot more than i could tell you probably i'm glad to hear that

00:13:56.440 in the book i got a letter from a call girl an ex-call girl who said that most of the guys are married

00:14:06.920 who come to her very rarely is it to have sex most of the time it's to have some woman actually pay 1.00

00:14:14.040 attention to them and today they had a hooker on the today show who was asked what would you suggest 1.00

00:14:21.080 to a woman if she thinks her husband is seeing a hooker or having an affair and the call girl said

00:14:27.640 i saw that they should put extra effort into making their own relationship stronger and closer so

00:14:33.400 when a hooker says that it's okay when i say it i'm blaming the wife well well sometimes the men are

00:14:41.960 selfish in some cases and you you always say that i always have that disclaimer a jerk is a jerk why is 0.96

00:14:47.560 it every time dr laura's on the show my face gets beat rent i didn't talk about sex but you're about

00:14:52.040 to you caused him to do it i've caused me to do what you're here what did i get caught you and

00:14:56.440 you whatever the word you used good grief what word was that whatever i gotta move on important

00:15:00.760 matters with my friend dr laura first of all i love the book because i think we whine too much yes

00:15:05.480 and when you whine there is a point and you go through this in the book you can be sad you can be

00:15:09.640 miserable and upset you give yourself if i recall what two days and then it's time to get over it

00:15:14.120 and start living your life and don't wallow in in problems right well you notice the book is not

00:15:19.160 entitled don't whine because i think there are a certain amount of things to whine about right

00:15:23.000 when the blogosphere and even the new york times went crazy over meredith fiera being aghast that i 0.78

00:15:28.680 blamed you know misrepresenting what i said uh i was whining because with me was this anthropologist who

00:15:36.840 said you know what men who have high foreheads and protruding brows have a lot of testosterone and

00:15:42.680 they're more likely to cheat nobody commented about that all right i said women got to love

00:15:48.840 up their husbands stuff so i spent the morning after that whining you see but i'm listening over

00:15:53.400 something reasonable vents it gets you some compassion from your friends which helps you calm down it gives

00:15:59.320 you some advice and suggestions and it gives you gives you the opportunity to pull yourself together

00:16:04.280 and think about what you're going to do you see so whining as an end in itself takes away the value

00:16:10.680 i read your books i listen to your radio show i think you give great advice i think it's common

00:16:15.320 sense you know you go through in the brand new book here treat your spouse as if you loved him or her

00:16:19.640 with your last breath no matter how contrary that you might feel at any moment at any one moment at any

00:16:25.240 woman and your last book you talked about you know if your spouse wants sex have sex uh unless you 1.00

00:16:31.560 have a terrible headache or really something but most times don't deny your spouse and people got all

00:16:36.200 shockingly said that both ways both ways of course in other words serve your if you don't love now wait

00:16:43.320 a minute love is about making their life worthwhile right so if you're hungry and i'm not hungry i'll

00:16:51.560 make you a sandwich you don't have to blush yet i didn't go anywhere if you're feeling sexy and i just

00:16:58.520 have too much on my mind i can still pleasure you oh geez would you people hold on to yourselves here

00:17:06.280 but the point is that i tell women because women are a little slower to get their engines 0.83

00:17:09.960 can i say something i agree with you i think we should i think couples should serve each other

00:17:14.200 oh that's always that's what you're saying hey uh what happens what happens after the sandwich

00:17:20.040 well i usually feel more relaxed after i've eaten chances are you have been here before the

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00:18:17.800 and gold insulate secure yourself against all threats go to noblegoldinvestments.com now that's

00:18:23.320 noblegoldinvestments.com the only gold company that i trust i've never seen her before but i thought she

00:18:31.000 was so i thought she was brilliant yeah i thought she was brilliant i think she spoke very clearly she

00:18:35.240 made it very clear exactly what she's saying but i have no doubt that there are lots and lots of people

00:18:40.200 only hear what they want to hear and it's the same thing that i see with you all the time they they can only

00:18:45.160 hear so far as their own perception allows them to and they project their own insecurities well what

00:18:49.640 if he's abusive yeah it's instantly what if this what if this what if this it's like okay we all know

00:18:56.840 that like she says there are narcissists in the world there are jerks in the world can't believe 0.93

00:19:01.080 i'm saying we're jerking around you americans for too long but yeah there's there's douchebags dicks in 1.00

00:19:07.480 the world right are the majority people those people and the thing that she is bringing to

00:19:14.040 light hookers are saying that the rule is not a jerk the rule is that you guys are neglecting your 1.00

00:19:19.960 husband and just look at look at things like the whatever podcast that episode where they had candace

00:19:24.520 owens on there and there was she says how she's fascinated by hookers and that and women who are 0.63

00:19:30.680 i think these call out girls like it's the same thing basically they're saying the same thing so it's

00:19:35.160 like oh it's okay for them to say it but you can't say it yeah it's like i'm evil i'm evil by

00:19:40.920 saying ladies ladies ladies stop leaving your husbands over cheating especially if you haven't 0.99

00:19:47.160 slept with him in a long time i think that's not fair i think a lot of women put their husbands 1.00

00:19:52.440 in bad situations because they haven't slept with him it is so common for women to stop sleeping with 1.00

00:19:58.600 them yeah after two children yeah interview any divorce attorney they will tell you the same thing

00:20:03.640 there are sexless marriages where men haven't had sex in years sometimes what did you think was

00:20:09.240 going to happen yeah and even if they are sleeping with him i mean you're not you're not nagging at

00:20:14.440 all you're not belittling him like women we're not these perfect angels we have flaws and places where

00:20:19.800 we can improve and it's all about how we view love isn't it like i think what what really struck

00:20:24.600 me with what she was saying is is the idea of um love is about serving each other it's about every

00:20:30.120 day wanting to make someone else's life better i think in our culture the meaning of love at least

00:20:35.400 today has completely flipped and it's become what does this person bring to me yeah how many times

00:20:40.920 is the conversation on the show you know how many times do we hear it what do you bring to the table

00:20:46.600 what do you bring to the table and we always ask this whether it be to men or women the question is

00:20:51.960 always what do you bring to me it's never what can i provide you and and we've lost this servitude

00:20:59.080 attitude in our culture even when we look at how people work people of our generation it's always

00:21:05.080 what does the job bring for me what benefits does the job right what salary is it what what comes

00:21:10.040 with it whereas when i look to say my dad's generation it was what can i do in the job and

00:21:16.200 it was what can i do for society what can i do for society and they just get on with it we lost the

00:21:21.800 ability to serve what's really sad about that is it's this idea that people don't understand that

00:21:28.760 things are often not what they seem so you say you serve right that sounds like you're giving and

00:21:35.000 giving and giving and it makes almost the presumption that you're getting nothing back but actually when

00:21:40.040 you're serving you get the most fulfillment because it's it's if you're healthy and you're not a narcissist

00:21:46.360 or anything like that you get so much out of serving other people because it makes you feel

00:21:51.000 good because you're making someone else feel good yeah you know they always say don't don't give to

00:21:55.640 receive and and giving makes people feel good why do you think millionaires you know without government

00:22:01.000 intervention people who have a lot of money tend to give to charity more why why would they do that

00:22:06.280 why would they just give their money away because it must make them feel good like they have enough money

00:22:10.200 they you know but people just people have misconstrued things now and everything's become

00:22:14.440 very selfish and narcissistic actually but people think oh rich people only give money to charity to

00:22:19.960 make themselves look better it's like that actually speaks to you more than it does the millionaire

00:22:24.040 because you've come to that you know it reminds me of a catholic prayer it's like for it where it is in

00:22:29.240 it's like lord make me it's lord make me an instrument of your peace where there's hatred let

00:22:33.480 there so love where there's injury pardon doubt faith despair hope darkness life and sadness joy

00:22:38.680 or it is in giving that we receive whereas it is in pardoning that we are pardoned and it isn't

00:22:44.120 dying that we are born to eternal life so absolutely so it's like um i i think about that a lot because

00:22:50.280 he's even saying by forgiving you're forgiven you know and it's even like in giving you're being given

00:22:57.000 the most and the most like happy people i see are the most helpless ones and also i think if it is a

00:23:02.680 situation where again this is excluding the exceptions excluding the people who are nasty

00:23:09.160 excluding the people who are psychopaths narcissists whatever that is in most normal relationships if a

00:23:13.800 problem arises whether it be cheating whether it be something else if your first thought is this

00:23:19.400 person is no longer serving me i'm going to get rid of them that is a narcissistic trait that is narcissism

00:23:25.800 because that says that you view people as objects that bring value to your life rather than what

00:23:30.440 you can bring to them so actually that it really really speaks to the society and the culture that

00:23:36.680 we live in because it actually shows that all of these people who who tend to say so that that

00:23:42.120 gentleman on there said um aren't the guys who isn't cheating on your wife automatically going to put

00:23:48.040 you in the group of say being a narcissist actually seeing a problem arise and ultimate automatically

00:23:55.080 discarding that person because they're no longer abused to you says that you view that person like an

00:23:59.400 object well and and you're not and the women it's like are you perfect you've never flirted with

00:24:04.600 another guy and they'll say oh no never i'm like really never because really like when i think about

00:24:11.480 cheating women we can't live without attention from that if you ask women would you rather be young 1.00

00:24:17.480 forever or have sex with the hottest person alive most women would rather pick you yeah so what does that 0.99

00:24:22.920 say that says we value looking young or if you ask a guy the same question he's like give me the models

00:24:28.840 baby give me where's where's margot robbie at 22 not 32 but i'm thinking like you've never as

00:24:37.640 a woman accepted attention from other men and you know honestly this this is going to be an unpopular

00:24:42.920 opinion i i would tell men if you have kids and a family and whatever if you find out she accepted

00:24:49.160 attention from another guy i think that can be worked through the same way i think that casual

00:24:53.880 sex for a guy can be worked through and it's like what does love say to you realistically what

00:24:59.160 does love say to you because if you're something happens say they cheat it's a one night stand or

00:25:04.200 whatever and you know deep down in yourself that things between you guys haven't been good for a

00:25:09.000 while that just says to you your love your love is empty because it's just like it's almost as if you've

00:25:14.760 waited for an excuse to go i'm done with you instead of you've seen that problems arise and you should

00:25:21.480 be saying what's led us because if you're in a relationship you're supposed to be a team

00:25:26.280 what's led us to the point where he's had to go out and get sex from someone else and then you could

00:25:32.280 look to yourself and go what could i have done that might have prevented him getting to that point

00:25:36.920 and he should be taking equal responsibility for the fact that he's done that the the burden of cheating

00:25:43.240 lies absolutely on him how you got to that point right is a two-way street because there's two of

00:25:50.520 you in a relationship and and that's not to say that you're to blame it just says that there's two

00:25:55.000 people in a relationship and women act like oh i did nothing wrong and i'm just like really you did

00:25:59.640 nothing wrong and it almost shows their narcissism because it's like you were the really you were the

00:26:05.880 perfect wife yeah and he just okay all right ladies it's a big red flag to me if someone when when

00:26:12.200 they talk about a relationship it's they present themselves as having not done anything wrong

00:26:19.240 lack of accountability male or female is a red flag because i'm like no no human being on this earth

00:26:27.640 is perfect you really can't find one thing wrong with yourself nothing you could have improved so

00:26:34.360 perfect they're always perfect it's always so okay um the comment section says i agree with dr

00:26:41.240 laura on her advice in almost every situation males deserve and need women to love them in a perfect

00:26:46.520 way she describes today's women are selfish and can benefit from her wisdom a purple songbird says the 1.00

00:26:52.040 victim this word gets overused these days cheating is not a crime i have been cheated on in the past

00:26:58.040 and it hurt but i was not a victim people stray because they are either looking for something they are not

00:27:03.160 getting at home or ultimately they aren't committed to the other person many of us don't know how to

00:27:07.560 ask for what we want a relationship is no place to keep score i gave last time now it's your turn

00:27:12.840 you hurt me now i get to hurt you people have gotten way off track oh my gosh that is the way the way

00:27:17.880 women talk about getting cheated on it's like it's like you think they went to war or something yeah yeah 1.00

00:27:22.360 yeah i'm like ladies like it doesn't and this is why i said they all look at me like i'm crazy when i say 0.89

00:27:26.760 it doesn't have to be a big deal it doesn't look it you can be her i i know someone i know someone

00:27:33.640 from like i won't say where but i know a family right they had like four kids and the husband uh

00:27:41.800 cheated on the wife with a strip okay he hooked up with this now does that have to be the end of the

00:27:47.400 world no i'm not saying he should have did it all right obviously yes he shouldn't have been at that

00:27:53.000 club but i mean you're gonna you guys have four kids together he he was a successful sales guy

00:28:00.120 really really successful guy and he hooked up with us and also what's important to ask is

00:28:07.080 in the majority of these situations uh the guy is apologetic and does realize yeah so it's like it

00:28:15.240 would be a different scenario if in that situation he'd hooked up with the stripper and he had come to

00:28:20.120 the relationship and said i've done this listen i don't want to be with you anymore i don't want to

00:28:24.040 have anything to do with the kids but it's like he's coming to the incident and saying yeah i did

00:28:30.200 this and i'm sorry and i want to work through it or whatever like and you're still with a family of

00:28:37.880 four kids you're still gonna be like no you've broken my trust you betrayed me they stayed together

00:28:43.880 yeah they did and that's the thing they never tell any of the stories where the couple actually work

00:28:48.680 through it and gets better it's all and you know in all honesty i i know the couple and the woman

00:28:55.400 i mean she she had her issues with like nagging and kind of belittling him too so sometimes guys just

00:29:01.080 want to feel like a man and this comment really really speaks to the nuance of reality and how

00:29:06.520 complex something like a relationship really is because you know it's a lot of people might get

00:29:11.720 triggered by this particular comment where she's she's saying i've been cheated on and i wasn't a

00:29:16.040 victim i was hurt but i wasn't a victim but she also speaks again it's two people yes the man has

00:29:21.320 done the incident that's fought the pain but there would have been pain on his part leading up to that

00:29:26.680 and what's what really spikes out to me here is many of us don't know how to ask for what we want

00:29:32.520 um and that speaks to the the male's accountability as well you know before he got to that point did he

00:29:38.520 communicate there is something that's lacking here or did he just stay silent and let his wife slowly

00:29:46.040 drain his poor and my yeah well and my other question is our generation has not been taught

00:29:51.640 how to actually forgive there are so many times where it's such an ego thing where people will say

00:29:57.640 oh they did that to me and i i always can tell people's mindset when they say oh you can't just

00:30:03.160 let people walk all over you you'll look stupid but it's very much like uh it's like what you're

00:30:09.240 gonna go through life and you have been perfect to everybody around you you have never been the

00:30:15.080 villain in anybody's story we're never taught how to actually forgive and like work with people

00:30:21.080 and you know it's funny my dad and every time i haven't listened to this i've always regret it

00:30:25.640 he always told me never burn a bridge he said never burn a bridge because you just never know

00:30:29.880 you never know yeah and my dad told me a story where this person did something to my dad that was like

00:30:36.680 very very shady he totally went behind his back whatever um anyways a couple of years go by my

00:30:42.680 dad doesn't burn the bridge he just like left it go whatever my dad is so good at that like men are 1.00

00:30:47.560 just very good at my dad's really good at that as well my dad like doesn't have but one thing my dad

00:30:52.200 said to me is um and it's probably the same kind of thing but a lesson from my dad was always don't

00:30:56.680 hold grudges yeah yeah that's a much so i think it's like the same well and so he said years later

00:31:02.440 this person came back to him ended up helping him in a time he really needed it and he never would

00:31:07.960 have thought because this person there's so much power in forgiveness and people need to realize

00:31:13.160 the harder something is the more value the goal has so for example let's say you climb you walk up

00:31:20.680 the road and it's a fairly steep hill yeah all right you feel pretty good when you get to that hill

00:31:25.640 because halfway up you were thinking i couldn't breathe before i was gonna die

00:31:28.120 imagine climbing mount everest the climb is so much harder but when you get to the top it's

00:31:33.240 wow i've climbed mount everest forgiveness is hard because it requires you to let go of pain and pain

00:31:39.560 is something that's really really hard to let go of pain hurts pain sucks so the ability to be able to

00:31:46.600 get through that and to say to the person who hurt you i forgive you even if you don't say it to them

00:31:53.880 to be able to let go of the pain yourself and say i forgive that person there's so much value in that

00:31:59.000 because it's so hard yeah it's so hard and we know this value is determined by scarcity a lot of people

00:32:04.920 don't know how to forgive and it's not about them either a lot of times people think like forgiveness

00:32:09.800 is about the other person it's it's really not about setting yourself free of the damage that's been

00:32:15.400 done right our top comment from last episode was rosie c spencer and he says that women should be

00:32:20.920 held accountable for what they do even young women guys if you have a comment that you want to leave

00:32:28.440 and that you want me to read next episode make sure you like your favorite comment below what do you

00:32:32.680 think that i think yeah absolutely i mean how are older women supposed to be able to take accountability 0.91

00:32:38.120 if it's not been a practice that they've had since they were young good point how will we learn if we

00:32:42.520 don't start from a young absolutely guys thank you for watching make sure you like the video on your

00:32:47.560 way out and subscribe to the channel also get yourself a women shouldn't vote sweatshirt and a 0.91

00:32:53.160 whale sweatshirt sign up for our email list so we can keep in contact with you if we ever get kicked

00:32:58.280 off of youtube like the video guys i'll talk to you next time

JustPearlyThings - November 30, 2023

John Legend HUMILIATED As Wife EXPOSES Him ｜ @christinegracesmith ｜ Pearl Daily Ep. 86

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