JustPearlyThings - November 30, 2023


John Legend HUMILIATED As Wife EXPOSES Him | @christinegracesmith | Pearl Daily Ep. 86


Episode Stats


Length

33 minutes

Words per minute

199.40674

Word count

6,588

Sentence count

3

Harmful content

Misogyny

37

sentences flagged

Hate speech

19

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of Pearl Daily, I cover a real life example of a pick me and how to deal with it. I also talk about the new trend of women approaching men on social media and how it is ruining the dating game.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 pearly things youtube channel and welcome to another episode of pearl daily where i cover
00:00:04.340 this week's treachery debauchery and craziness today i have a special guest on the channel
00:00:08.700 welcome back christine hello thanks for having me back so today we have a full schedule of
00:00:14.580 debauchery and craziness but guys before we start make sure you go subscribe to christine's channel
00:00:19.180 we're trying to get her to 50k it's over at christine grace smith 50k would be a great
00:00:24.020 christmas present sir also guys also we have new merch coming out um we have whale merch we have
00:00:30.540 women shouldn't vote sweatshirts we have all the new merch so make sure you go check that out the 1.00
00:00:34.820 link to that is in the description you know they they call me a pick me constantly yeah i've heard
00:00:38.960 they say pick me pearl pick me pearl's just saying this because she's a pick me today i found a real
00:00:45.000 life example of a pick me wow okay i found one so let's pull it up seen a bunch of stitches to her 1.00
00:00:50.160 videos no not that one her tick tock because apparently they keep deleting it they banned
00:00:55.440 account number three but you can't get rid of me baby you can't get rid of me baby account number
00:01:00.860 four account number four but her youtube is still up and she goes no not her not her what the no that's
00:01:07.800 me guys not that one stop it but now i'm seeing this new trend on social media her girls are fed up 1.00
00:01:14.360 with the fact that they have to work they don't want to be girl why are you putting why are you bringing 0.97
00:01:17.980 her into this what guys you're you're putting brett into this no that's america's sweet not only that
00:01:25.160 then increasing women to be the opposite of what i think men want no put the actual video of the
00:01:31.340 pick me i i give these people's lives i make their lives too good they don't appreciate what they have
00:01:37.020 they just are giving me all the sass the sass all right play the actual video blessing
00:01:41.640 single and available yes single and available
00:01:48.940 that's me that's me i'm single and available i'm single and available if anybody wants to know
00:02:00.620 you can stop me if you want
00:02:03.540 oh thank you i was i was trying to okay i'm gonna i'm gonna go now okay i will thank you
00:02:14.180 what did he say i will
00:02:15.640 okay i'm single and available though all right okay
00:02:21.000 okay no i think we're gonna keep seeing this i think we're gonna keep seeing women approaching men
00:02:27.740 yeah i mean because men are inevitably have to right yeah because men men can't approach a woman
00:02:33.260 nowadays without having to worry about getting me too'd without having to worry about ending up on
00:02:37.320 tiktok or being called a creep so yeah this this was it's like i felt the cringe in the room could
00:02:43.300 you understand what the grandpa was saying no i couldn't understand what he was saying it sounded
00:02:48.720 like he said something along the lines of you're fine the way you are that's what i heard that's what i
00:02:53.740 heard too but you know it's like we get called a pick me left and right oh she's just a pick me
00:02:59.320 i found you guys an actual pick me i mean i don't know what more she wants to be picked
00:03:03.700 someone pick her and i'm like because this is i i think we're gonna keep seeing this kind of stuff
00:03:10.300 i think it's gonna be it wouldn't surprise me pedro penna weighs in he says yeah no one
00:03:15.720 is biting except grandpa yeah typical woman she wants to get picked but it's not the one she wants 1.00
00:03:21.380 picking her look at grandpa's he's interested she's saying single and available but all they're
00:03:27.880 hearing is single and desperate yeah it's cringy it's cringy tony tones if pick me energy was a video
00:03:35.860 oftentimes my critics and detractors will will constantly say you are a pick me pearl's a pick me
00:03:42.420 but i thought to myself i'm like i get equal amount of criticism from men i was like i think
00:03:47.760 some of my meanest detractors have actually been doomed i'm like i don't you guys i go just as hard
00:03:54.180 well i go pretty hard on the simps i really don't like simps she really doesn't like simps
00:03:59.620 i don't like the simpery now one example of a simp that i see in the media constantly and the reason
00:04:07.480 i would call him a simp what is simpery let's talk about simpery guys you know we throw this term
00:04:12.820 around and they say what does that even mean simpery is in its essence putting a woman on a 1.00
00:04:18.060 pedestal right so an example of simping is these guys that just say my wife is the most amazing
00:04:23.360 special awesome person i know yeah i would say you're actually quite quite harsh on the simpery
00:04:28.820 thing you're you're bar for like someone being a simp is pretty yeah yeah well and there's nothing
00:04:34.180 wrong with saying those things in itself about your wife i'd like to clarify the problem is when
00:04:39.060 they almost refer to their wife like she is a god god yeah yeah and and it's like the language they
00:04:44.800 they speak of her like she is this goddess woman that is so amazing and special and awesome when
00:04:50.640 really she's just a normal person yeah one example of a guy that i think is a bit simpy is
00:04:54.720 john legend he has a completely out of order wife that he barely he barely checks and kind of just
00:04:59.960 lets her do whatever she wants okay i think that's simping you can't just let your chick do
00:05:04.080 whatever whatever she wants and this is one thing i've been studying wives that i think are better 1.00
00:05:09.580 representatives of wives so like i look at um not megan markle the other one kate middleton kate
00:05:15.220 middleton i think she's an example of a wife we can look up to yeah another example of a wife we can 0.96
00:05:20.440 look up to is melania trump yeah and when i think of examples of bad wives one of the first ones that 1.00
00:05:26.000 come to my head is chrissy teigen i mean there's so many we can think of to be real yes but chrissy
00:05:31.660 teigen especially and one thing is because this woman is just always saying too much on the internet 1.00
00:05:36.180 right okay so there's a clip going viral of her asking her where is the strangest place her and
00:05:42.160 john has gotten sex that is not had sex for the internet yeah and well you know i could imagine if
00:05:47.880 some of the wives i said previously were asked this they would just say that's private yeah it's between 0.91
00:05:52.000 husband and wife yeah but chrissy just goes on to just tell everybody is this the best or the worst
00:05:58.500 the best okay the best um probably the obama thing
00:06:06.340 what john what's the oh god oh god john what what what what is what is your wife talking about i don't
00:06:15.800 know we're not we're not we're not we're not we're not oh my god secret service come here jump back in
00:06:29.540 look at john look at i don't why we're not talking about it that's the truth that is an awesome answer
00:06:36.180 not the white house it was not at the white house he was not elected yet yeah okay anyway
00:06:42.940 i'm sorry i'm in trouble now okay so this went viral for two reasons and i wanted to ask you
00:06:50.760 about this because this is more up your lane yes something triggered me in that because i'm that
00:06:55.620 i know that we're talking about chris tegan and i do have a fair bit to say about her but
00:07:00.460 the email they mentioned pizza in a president's email so i'm hearing all of the conspiracies yeah
00:07:07.120 yeah so so on february 8th 2015 chrissy tegan was asked at the grammys about the strangest place
00:07:14.120 her and john legend have gotten intimate she said they had sex at the obama thing they also reference
00:07:19.160 one i don't know what they were up to at the obama thing but people are speculating
00:07:24.480 that it was some sort of weird yeah yeah there's there's there's speculation right and i thought
00:07:32.360 to myself i'm like he said he said in the email something about the channels being watched or
00:07:37.120 monitored or something didn't he yeah yeah i mean you don't know what goes on in high places you know
00:07:44.220 i was thinking i'm like dang it's like wives always snitch on their husbands it's like i was like so
00:07:51.500 many times we just run our mouths and just snitch on it yeah i do i don't think she should have
00:07:56.820 really answered that and even the way she answered it she wasn't looking to him to gauge whether she
00:08:02.420 should say something or not she was looking to the camera and to the people interviewing her that's
00:08:07.240 one of the things i say to look for he's learning it's like because the women that respect their 0.99
00:08:13.000 husbands look to them first like the same way like if they ask if someone asks your boss something
00:08:18.320 you kind of look to them for the answer yeah yeah it's all micro expressions you can tell
00:08:23.480 where the sort of dominance in the relationship is by the micro expressions of the wife and typically 0.99
00:08:28.740 wives who don't have as much respect for their husbands look outside of the relationship first 1.00
00:08:34.580 before they look through the relationship because it's only afterwards i didn't even think about how
00:08:38.360 what that symbolizes too in a relationship because they're looking to the world for advice before
00:08:43.840 because it probably reflects in there like i don't know it's it's weird because when you said that
00:08:48.620 i'm like because that's how they behave in their relationship exactly because they look to the
00:08:51.980 world for validation they look to how they're perceived by the world rather than their husband
00:08:56.420 for the validation and how their husband perceives them so first she looks to the interviewer and the
00:09:00.720 camera and then you can see it in his face you can see his face is kind of like oh why did you say
00:09:05.940 that and then it's instantly again oh i'm in trouble but when she says i'm in trouble she doesn't look to
00:09:11.680 him she looks to the guy who's interviewing her when she says i'm in trouble because she wants that
00:09:15.980 validation from the outside to be like no you're fine you're fine she doesn't want the validation
00:09:20.400 from him right that's at least just what i picked up right so i was recently recommended to watch a
00:09:26.620 woman named dr laura schlessinger because i was told that i remind the audience of her okay because
00:09:34.600 of something i said okay so i've recently been arguing having the conversation about cheating now i'd like
00:09:40.920 to make it clear to the audience cheating is wrong i am not for cheating it is wrong you should not
00:09:46.560 cheat men shouldn't cheat women shouldn't but cheating for men and women is different it's 0.62
00:09:51.260 different absolutely men can have casual sex and it just mean nothing women even in order to have 0.77
00:09:56.820 casual sex generally the men unless she's a complete whore have to be of a certain caliber they have to 0.99
00:10:02.580 make money they have to be attractive enough a lot of times for men she's just there so i argue that 0.94
00:10:07.640 cheating should be worked through and it doesn't have to be the end of the world especially if he
00:10:12.560 cheats on you with a one-night stand yeah i don't think it needs to be the end-all be-all i don't
00:10:17.200 think it's an excuse to end a marriage and i also think a lot of the time it is hard for men to get
00:10:23.440 sex they have to work to get it so my question is a lot of times even when they're married they still
00:10:27.980 have to work yes as a wife why is your husband seeking sex from somebody else you know it's one thing 0.98
00:10:34.960 if you've married in a big star and maybe there's women throwing themselves at him left and right but
00:10:40.840 that's not the norm most people marry average people yeah most people marry average people so
00:10:46.760 my question is why is he going out of his way to get sex from somebody else he says that he's lacking
00:10:51.860 in the relationship and a lot of times women aren't as innocent as we pretend to be a lot of times we 0.94
00:10:56.920 nag a lot of times we criticize and make him not feel like a man a lot of times we starve our 1.00
00:11:03.640 husband's upset like there are parts where we play into the situation yeah i guess this woman dr 0.96
00:11:09.320 laura offers no nonsense advice infused with a strong sense of ethics accountability and personal
00:11:14.780 responsibility she's been doing it successfully for more than 40 years touching millions of
00:11:19.400 listeners weekly so let's pull up the clip of her now we are welcome back to hannity combs now new
00:11:26.160 tonight the new york times just reporting the identity of the escort allegedly hired by governor spitzer the
00:11:32.120 new york times reporting the woman who goes by the name as kirsten is a 22 year old ashley alexander
00:11:38.120 dupre of new jersey uh we're now joined by i'm sure this will come up by the way dr laura schlesinger
00:11:43.260 author of the new book stop whining start living which we'll talk about in just a moment now the same
00:11:48.680 paragraph with
00:11:49.800 and uh you talk about this whole incident and you know actually i never did and that was the point
00:12:05.000 well they asked you about it they asked me in general terms well let me cheat right and you
00:12:10.200 talked about i said i can't talk about the spitzers because i don't know anything about it but you did
00:12:14.520 talk about the whole issue of cheating and he said that the wife uh does not focus on the needs and
00:12:19.560 the feelings sexually personally to make him feel like a man to make him feel like a success to make
00:12:24.760 him her hero and those kinds of comments you said the cheating was his decision to repair what's damaged
00:12:30.360 and defeat himself where he's starving sound like you're making excuses for men who cheat and blaming
00:12:36.760 and you're not hearing this for the first time that you're blaming the woman when a man commits adultery
00:12:42.520 okay the first part of that which they left out of course was that i said if a man is a narcissist
00:12:47.800 a sociopath bipolar a number of things all bets are off he's a jerk however yeah it is and you know 0.81
00:12:55.080 i was here for the proper care and feeding of husbands book and we discussed this then when women do not
00:12:59.960 when women ignore neglect don't nurture don't love don't kiss up don't do all those wonderful things
00:13:06.520 for their husbands they're more susceptible that doesn't mean they are not responsible for their 0.97
00:13:12.440 action treats on his wife doesn't the responsibility lie with that adulterer his responsibility for
00:13:19.640 cheating is his the responsibility for mistreating her man is hers and just because a man cheats does
00:13:26.360 not mean he was mistreated he could just be a horny guy who oh as i said you never heard that word
00:13:31.480 before as i said if he's narcissistic sociopathic then all bets are off right then he's a jerk and 0.82
00:13:37.000 aren't most men who cheat on their wives fall in that category they're narcissistic or they've got
00:13:42.200 they're not respecting their wives no the the wives haven't been respecting them and it's interesting
00:13:47.720 because in my book well two things i want to tell you about call girls in that book the proper care and 0.99
00:13:53.000 feeding of husbands you could tell me a lot more than i could tell you probably i'm glad to hear that
00:13:56.440 in the book i got a letter from a call girl an ex-call girl who said that most of the guys are married
00:14:06.920 who come to her very rarely is it to have sex most of the time it's to have some woman actually pay 1.00
00:14:14.040 attention to them and today they had a hooker on the today show who was asked what would you suggest 1.00
00:14:21.080 to a woman if she thinks her husband is seeing a hooker or having an affair and the call girl said
00:14:27.640 i saw that they should put extra effort into making their own relationship stronger and closer so
00:14:33.400 when a hooker says that it's okay when i say it i'm blaming the wife well well sometimes the men are
00:14:41.960 selfish in some cases and you you always say that i always have that disclaimer a jerk is a jerk why is 0.96
00:14:47.560 it every time dr laura's on the show my face gets beat rent i didn't talk about sex but you're about
00:14:52.040 to you caused him to do it i've caused me to do what you're here what did i get caught you and
00:14:56.440 you whatever the word you used good grief what word was that whatever i gotta move on important
00:15:00.760 matters with my friend dr laura first of all i love the book because i think we whine too much yes
00:15:05.480 and when you whine there is a point and you go through this in the book you can be sad you can be
00:15:09.640 miserable and upset you give yourself if i recall what two days and then it's time to get over it
00:15:14.120 and start living your life and don't wallow in in problems right well you notice the book is not
00:15:19.160 entitled don't whine because i think there are a certain amount of things to whine about right
00:15:23.000 when the blogosphere and even the new york times went crazy over meredith fiera being aghast that i 0.78
00:15:28.680 blamed you know misrepresenting what i said uh i was whining because with me was this anthropologist who
00:15:36.840 said you know what men who have high foreheads and protruding brows have a lot of testosterone and
00:15:42.680 they're more likely to cheat nobody commented about that all right i said women got to love
00:15:48.840 up their husbands stuff so i spent the morning after that whining you see but i'm listening over
00:15:53.400 something reasonable vents it gets you some compassion from your friends which helps you calm down it gives
00:15:59.320 you some advice and suggestions and it gives you gives you the opportunity to pull yourself together
00:16:04.280 and think about what you're going to do you see so whining as an end in itself takes away the value
00:16:10.680 i read your books i listen to your radio show i think you give great advice i think it's common
00:16:15.320 sense you know you go through in the brand new book here treat your spouse as if you loved him or her
00:16:19.640 with your last breath no matter how contrary that you might feel at any moment at any one moment at any
00:16:25.240 woman and your last book you talked about you know if your spouse wants sex have sex uh unless you 1.00
00:16:31.560 have a terrible headache or really something but most times don't deny your spouse and people got all
00:16:36.200 shockingly said that both ways both ways of course in other words serve your if you don't love now wait
00:16:43.320 a minute love is about making their life worthwhile right so if you're hungry and i'm not hungry i'll
00:16:51.560 make you a sandwich you don't have to blush yet i didn't go anywhere if you're feeling sexy and i just
00:16:58.520 have too much on my mind i can still pleasure you oh geez would you people hold on to yourselves here
00:17:06.280 but the point is that i tell women because women are a little slower to get their engines 0.83
00:17:09.960 can i say something i agree with you i think we should i think couples should serve each other
00:17:14.200 oh that's always that's what you're saying hey uh what happens what happens after the sandwich
00:17:20.040 well i usually feel more relaxed after i've eaten chances are you have been here before the
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00:18:23.320 noblegoldinvestments.com the only gold company that i trust i've never seen her before but i thought she
00:18:31.000 was so i thought she was brilliant yeah i thought she was brilliant i think she spoke very clearly she
00:18:35.240 made it very clear exactly what she's saying but i have no doubt that there are lots and lots of people
00:18:40.200 only hear what they want to hear and it's the same thing that i see with you all the time they they can only
00:18:45.160 hear so far as their own perception allows them to and they project their own insecurities well what
00:18:49.640 if he's abusive yeah it's instantly what if this what if this what if this it's like okay we all know
00:18:56.840 that like she says there are narcissists in the world there are jerks in the world can't believe 0.93
00:19:01.080 i'm saying we're jerking around you americans for too long but yeah there's there's douchebags dicks in 1.00
00:19:07.480 the world right are the majority people those people and the thing that she is bringing to
00:19:14.040 light hookers are saying that the rule is not a jerk the rule is that you guys are neglecting your 1.00
00:19:19.960 husband and just look at look at things like the whatever podcast that episode where they had candace
00:19:24.520 owens on there and there was she says how she's fascinated by hookers and that and women who are 0.63
00:19:30.680 i think these call out girls like it's the same thing basically they're saying the same thing so it's
00:19:35.160 like oh it's okay for them to say it but you can't say it yeah it's like i'm evil i'm evil by
00:19:40.920 saying ladies ladies ladies stop leaving your husbands over cheating especially if you haven't 0.99
00:19:47.160 slept with him in a long time i think that's not fair i think a lot of women put their husbands 1.00
00:19:52.440 in bad situations because they haven't slept with him it is so common for women to stop sleeping with 1.00
00:19:58.600 them yeah after two children yeah interview any divorce attorney they will tell you the same thing
00:20:03.640 there are sexless marriages where men haven't had sex in years sometimes what did you think was
00:20:09.240 going to happen yeah and even if they are sleeping with him i mean you're not you're not nagging at
00:20:14.440 all you're not belittling him like women we're not these perfect angels we have flaws and places where
00:20:19.800 we can improve and it's all about how we view love isn't it like i think what what really struck
00:20:24.600 me with what she was saying is is the idea of um love is about serving each other it's about every
00:20:30.120 day wanting to make someone else's life better i think in our culture the meaning of love at least
00:20:35.400 today has completely flipped and it's become what does this person bring to me yeah how many times
00:20:40.920 is the conversation on the show you know how many times do we hear it what do you bring to the table
00:20:46.600 what do you bring to the table and we always ask this whether it be to men or women the question is
00:20:51.960 always what do you bring to me it's never what can i provide you and and we've lost this servitude
00:20:59.080 attitude in our culture even when we look at how people work people of our generation it's always
00:21:05.080 what does the job bring for me what benefits does the job right what salary is it what what comes
00:21:10.040 with it whereas when i look to say my dad's generation it was what can i do in the job and
00:21:16.200 it was what can i do for society what can i do for society and they just get on with it we lost the
00:21:21.800 ability to serve what's really sad about that is it's this idea that people don't understand that
00:21:28.760 things are often not what they seem so you say you serve right that sounds like you're giving and
00:21:35.000 giving and giving and it makes almost the presumption that you're getting nothing back but actually when
00:21:40.040 you're serving you get the most fulfillment because it's it's if you're healthy and you're not a narcissist
00:21:46.360 or anything like that you get so much out of serving other people because it makes you feel
00:21:51.000 good because you're making someone else feel good yeah you know they always say don't don't give to
00:21:55.640 receive and and giving makes people feel good why do you think millionaires you know without government
00:22:01.000 intervention people who have a lot of money tend to give to charity more why why would they do that
00:22:06.280 why would they just give their money away because it must make them feel good like they have enough money
00:22:10.200 they you know but people just people have misconstrued things now and everything's become
00:22:14.440 very selfish and narcissistic actually but people think oh rich people only give money to charity to
00:22:19.960 make themselves look better it's like that actually speaks to you more than it does the millionaire
00:22:24.040 because you've come to that you know it reminds me of a catholic prayer it's like for it where it is in
00:22:29.240 it's like lord make me it's lord make me an instrument of your peace where there's hatred let
00:22:33.480 there so love where there's injury pardon doubt faith despair hope darkness life and sadness joy
00:22:38.680 or it is in giving that we receive whereas it is in pardoning that we are pardoned and it isn't
00:22:44.120 dying that we are born to eternal life so absolutely so it's like um i i think about that a lot because
00:22:50.280 he's even saying by forgiving you're forgiven you know and it's even like in giving you're being given
00:22:57.000 the most and the most like happy people i see are the most helpless ones and also i think if it is a
00:23:02.680 situation where again this is excluding the exceptions excluding the people who are nasty
00:23:09.160 excluding the people who are psychopaths narcissists whatever that is in most normal relationships if a
00:23:13.800 problem arises whether it be cheating whether it be something else if your first thought is this
00:23:19.400 person is no longer serving me i'm going to get rid of them that is a narcissistic trait that is narcissism
00:23:25.800 because that says that you view people as objects that bring value to your life rather than what
00:23:30.440 you can bring to them so actually that it really really speaks to the society and the culture that
00:23:36.680 we live in because it actually shows that all of these people who who tend to say so that that
00:23:42.120 gentleman on there said um aren't the guys who isn't cheating on your wife automatically going to put
00:23:48.040 you in the group of say being a narcissist actually seeing a problem arise and ultimate automatically
00:23:55.080 discarding that person because they're no longer abused to you says that you view that person like an
00:23:59.400 object well and and you're not and the women it's like are you perfect you've never flirted with
00:24:04.600 another guy and they'll say oh no never i'm like really never because really like when i think about
00:24:11.480 cheating women we can't live without attention from that if you ask women would you rather be young 1.00
00:24:17.480 forever or have sex with the hottest person alive most women would rather pick you yeah so what does that 0.99
00:24:22.920 say that says we value looking young or if you ask a guy the same question he's like give me the models
00:24:28.840 baby give me where's where's margot robbie at 22 not 32 but i'm thinking like you've never as
00:24:37.640 a woman accepted attention from other men and you know honestly this this is going to be an unpopular
00:24:42.920 opinion i i would tell men if you have kids and a family and whatever if you find out she accepted
00:24:49.160 attention from another guy i think that can be worked through the same way i think that casual
00:24:53.880 sex for a guy can be worked through and it's like what does love say to you realistically what
00:24:59.160 does love say to you because if you're something happens say they cheat it's a one night stand or
00:25:04.200 whatever and you know deep down in yourself that things between you guys haven't been good for a
00:25:09.000 while that just says to you your love your love is empty because it's just like it's almost as if you've
00:25:14.760 waited for an excuse to go i'm done with you instead of you've seen that problems arise and you should
00:25:21.480 be saying what's led us because if you're in a relationship you're supposed to be a team
00:25:26.280 what's led us to the point where he's had to go out and get sex from someone else and then you could
00:25:32.280 look to yourself and go what could i have done that might have prevented him getting to that point
00:25:36.920 and he should be taking equal responsibility for the fact that he's done that the the burden of cheating
00:25:43.240 lies absolutely on him how you got to that point right is a two-way street because there's two of
00:25:50.520 you in a relationship and and that's not to say that you're to blame it just says that there's two
00:25:55.000 people in a relationship and women act like oh i did nothing wrong and i'm just like really you did
00:25:59.640 nothing wrong and it almost shows their narcissism because it's like you were the really you were the
00:26:05.880 perfect wife yeah and he just okay all right ladies it's a big red flag to me if someone when when
00:26:12.200 they talk about a relationship it's they present themselves as having not done anything wrong
00:26:19.240 lack of accountability male or female is a red flag because i'm like no no human being on this earth
00:26:27.640 is perfect you really can't find one thing wrong with yourself nothing you could have improved so
00:26:34.360 perfect they're always perfect it's always so okay um the comment section says i agree with dr
00:26:41.240 laura on her advice in almost every situation males deserve and need women to love them in a perfect
00:26:46.520 way she describes today's women are selfish and can benefit from her wisdom a purple songbird says the 1.00
00:26:52.040 victim this word gets overused these days cheating is not a crime i have been cheated on in the past
00:26:58.040 and it hurt but i was not a victim people stray because they are either looking for something they are not
00:27:03.160 getting at home or ultimately they aren't committed to the other person many of us don't know how to
00:27:07.560 ask for what we want a relationship is no place to keep score i gave last time now it's your turn
00:27:12.840 you hurt me now i get to hurt you people have gotten way off track oh my gosh that is the way the way
00:27:17.880 women talk about getting cheated on it's like it's like you think they went to war or something yeah yeah 1.00
00:27:22.360 yeah i'm like ladies like it doesn't and this is why i said they all look at me like i'm crazy when i say 0.89
00:27:26.760 it doesn't have to be a big deal it doesn't look it you can be her i i know someone i know someone
00:27:33.640 from like i won't say where but i know a family right they had like four kids and the husband uh
00:27:41.800 cheated on the wife with a strip okay he hooked up with this now does that have to be the end of the
00:27:47.400 world no i'm not saying he should have did it all right obviously yes he shouldn't have been at that
00:27:53.000 club but i mean you're gonna you guys have four kids together he he was a successful sales guy
00:28:00.120 really really successful guy and he hooked up with us and also what's important to ask is
00:28:07.080 in the majority of these situations uh the guy is apologetic and does realize yeah so it's like it
00:28:15.240 would be a different scenario if in that situation he'd hooked up with the stripper and he had come to
00:28:20.120 the relationship and said i've done this listen i don't want to be with you anymore i don't want to
00:28:24.040 have anything to do with the kids but it's like he's coming to the incident and saying yeah i did
00:28:30.200 this and i'm sorry and i want to work through it or whatever like and you're still with a family of
00:28:37.880 four kids you're still gonna be like no you've broken my trust you betrayed me they stayed together
00:28:43.880 yeah they did and that's the thing they never tell any of the stories where the couple actually work
00:28:48.680 through it and gets better it's all and you know in all honesty i i know the couple and the woman
00:28:55.400 i mean she she had her issues with like nagging and kind of belittling him too so sometimes guys just
00:29:01.080 want to feel like a man and this comment really really speaks to the nuance of reality and how
00:29:06.520 complex something like a relationship really is because you know it's a lot of people might get
00:29:11.720 triggered by this particular comment where she's she's saying i've been cheated on and i wasn't a
00:29:16.040 victim i was hurt but i wasn't a victim but she also speaks again it's two people yes the man has
00:29:21.320 done the incident that's fought the pain but there would have been pain on his part leading up to that
00:29:26.680 and what's what really spikes out to me here is many of us don't know how to ask for what we want
00:29:32.520 um and that speaks to the the male's accountability as well you know before he got to that point did he
00:29:38.520 communicate there is something that's lacking here or did he just stay silent and let his wife slowly
00:29:46.040 drain his poor and my yeah well and my other question is our generation has not been taught
00:29:51.640 how to actually forgive there are so many times where it's such an ego thing where people will say
00:29:57.640 oh they did that to me and i i always can tell people's mindset when they say oh you can't just
00:30:03.160 let people walk all over you you'll look stupid but it's very much like uh it's like what you're
00:30:09.240 gonna go through life and you have been perfect to everybody around you you have never been the
00:30:15.080 villain in anybody's story we're never taught how to actually forgive and like work with people
00:30:21.080 and you know it's funny my dad and every time i haven't listened to this i've always regret it
00:30:25.640 he always told me never burn a bridge he said never burn a bridge because you just never know
00:30:29.880 you never know yeah and my dad told me a story where this person did something to my dad that was like
00:30:36.680 very very shady he totally went behind his back whatever um anyways a couple of years go by my
00:30:42.680 dad doesn't burn the bridge he just like left it go whatever my dad is so good at that like men are 1.00
00:30:47.560 just very good at my dad's really good at that as well my dad like doesn't have but one thing my dad
00:30:52.200 said to me is um and it's probably the same kind of thing but a lesson from my dad was always don't
00:30:56.680 hold grudges yeah yeah that's a much so i think it's like the same well and so he said years later
00:31:02.440 this person came back to him ended up helping him in a time he really needed it and he never would
00:31:07.960 have thought because this person there's so much power in forgiveness and people need to realize
00:31:13.160 the harder something is the more value the goal has so for example let's say you climb you walk up
00:31:20.680 the road and it's a fairly steep hill yeah all right you feel pretty good when you get to that hill
00:31:25.640 because halfway up you were thinking i couldn't breathe before i was gonna die
00:31:28.120 imagine climbing mount everest the climb is so much harder but when you get to the top it's
00:31:33.240 wow i've climbed mount everest forgiveness is hard because it requires you to let go of pain and pain
00:31:39.560 is something that's really really hard to let go of pain hurts pain sucks so the ability to be able to
00:31:46.600 get through that and to say to the person who hurt you i forgive you even if you don't say it to them
00:31:53.880 to be able to let go of the pain yourself and say i forgive that person there's so much value in that
00:31:59.000 because it's so hard yeah it's so hard and we know this value is determined by scarcity a lot of people
00:32:04.920 don't know how to forgive and it's not about them either a lot of times people think like forgiveness
00:32:09.800 is about the other person it's it's really not about setting yourself free of the damage that's been
00:32:15.400 done right our top comment from last episode was rosie c spencer and he says that women should be
00:32:20.920 held accountable for what they do even young women guys if you have a comment that you want to leave
00:32:28.440 and that you want me to read next episode make sure you like your favorite comment below what do you
00:32:32.680 think that i think yeah absolutely i mean how are older women supposed to be able to take accountability 0.91
00:32:38.120 if it's not been a practice that they've had since they were young good point how will we learn if we
00:32:42.520 don't start from a young absolutely guys thank you for watching make sure you like the video on your
00:32:47.560 way out and subscribe to the channel also get yourself a women shouldn't vote sweatshirt and a 0.91
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00:32:58.280 off of youtube like the video guys i'll talk to you next time