JustPearlyThings - May 19, 2023


@JWALLER Calls Out This Modern Woman On Her BS


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

226.37859

Word Count

2,340

Sentence Count

152

Misogynist Sentences

18

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary

In this episode, I sit down with a good friend of mine, and we talk about why women need to learn how to cook better for their significant other. We also talk about how to be a better wife.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Why is it all about what we can offer?
00:00:02.000 Why is it always about what we can bring?
00:00:03.420 What's about our values?
00:00:04.680 Because when you're trying to sell a car,
00:00:08.260 if you're trying to get married, right?
00:00:09.840 Please, I'm not saying that women are cars.
00:00:11.360 It's just an analogy.
00:00:14.260 But if you're trying to sell a car,
00:00:15.900 you have to study the buyer
00:00:16.800 and figure out what the buyers want.
00:00:18.840 And that's what men want.
00:00:20.680 And that's how it all became like a competition
00:00:23.660 between men and women, between everyone.
00:00:26.040 Because like, oh, I need to show off
00:00:28.500 that I know how to do this
00:00:30.020 and I need to show off how I can do that, but better.
00:00:33.720 You don't think that if you're trying to get married,
00:00:36.340 you should demonstrate that you have wife skills?
00:00:38.660 Of course.
00:00:39.200 Yeah, but like who has them at the end of the day?
00:00:41.520 Not everyone.
00:00:42.200 Not many women in 2022, no.
00:00:44.260 But do you know what though?
00:00:45.400 Have you ever read the book,
00:00:46.900 Why Do Men Love Bitches?
00:00:48.580 Oh yeah.
00:00:48.980 That was written by a single author
00:00:50.660 that is still single.
00:00:51.640 No.
00:00:52.400 These books are such a red...
00:00:54.380 I'm messing with someone
00:00:56.560 and I saw that book in the house
00:00:57.680 and I just cut it off.
00:00:58.640 I was like, you are alone.
00:01:00.300 That book is on my bedside table.
00:01:02.760 That was my Bible a few years ago.
00:01:05.160 Right next to her astrology set.
00:01:08.040 You have been misled, my dear.
00:01:09.600 But you said you've never been in a relationship
00:01:11.420 so it doesn't work.
00:01:12.320 No, I've been in a relationship.
00:01:13.620 That was me.
00:01:14.320 I've been in a relationship.
00:01:14.780 I thought that was you.
00:01:15.540 No, it was pretty teeth.
00:01:16.820 No, sorry, that was you.
00:01:17.720 I've been in a relationship.
00:01:19.000 Sorry, sorry.
00:01:19.420 I've been in a relationship.
00:01:20.200 But like, nah, like if you're not showing me
00:01:22.860 how you can protect me
00:01:23.840 and how you can provide for me,
00:01:24.640 I'm not cooking you a meal.
00:01:25.700 Get lost.
00:01:26.800 On a takeaway.
00:01:27.960 But why would you be with that guy
00:01:30.960 in the first place?
00:01:32.900 Well, Fez, but...
00:01:34.620 But you know, like for example,
00:01:37.180 to one of my exes once,
00:01:39.120 and it was like a slightly recent relationship,
00:01:42.800 and I was like, you know,
00:01:45.200 I prepared like his favorite dishes
00:01:47.560 because I know how to cook
00:01:49.100 because unfortunately my grandmother
00:01:50.660 taught me how to do it.
00:01:52.140 How do you say unfortunately?
00:01:52.960 Because then like, yeah, no, I know
00:01:55.200 for my friends it's good,
00:01:56.700 but like for then someone else
00:01:58.080 who's not appreciating it,
00:01:59.380 like why is it going to be good?
00:02:00.720 But why are you picking guys
00:02:01.700 that don't appreciate it?
00:02:02.740 Because then I found out like later on
00:02:05.180 that he wasn't really appreciating it.
00:02:07.440 Like, and you know,
00:02:08.120 like I found out that he cheated on me
00:02:10.040 and like, because I got messages everywhere
00:02:11.960 of people telling me
00:02:13.240 because like, you know,
00:02:14.280 it seems like sometimes people
00:02:15.420 have to come to you
00:02:16.680 and tell you what they want.
00:02:17.800 And we're like,
00:02:18.360 people making mistakes.
00:02:19.340 Hold on, pause for a second.
00:02:19.900 How did he not appreciate it?
00:02:22.080 No, he did because like,
00:02:23.540 he was like, oh my God,
00:02:24.340 this is one of my favorite dishes
00:02:25.560 that you can make.
00:02:26.340 And I was like, all right.
00:02:27.500 So then tell me like,
00:02:29.080 what have you done today?
00:02:30.220 And he lied.
00:02:31.580 And I was like,
00:02:32.180 so why would you lie to me
00:02:33.880 when you asking me
00:02:35.700 to be honest to you?
00:02:36.800 And I'm like,
00:02:37.620 because you can't handle the truth.
00:02:39.360 I can, trust me.
00:02:40.800 I have,
00:02:41.340 I've been through so many things
00:02:42.820 and he thought in his head
00:02:45.000 that I wasn't enough,
00:02:46.900 strong enough
00:02:47.660 to handle that fear.
00:02:49.740 But you left him
00:02:50.360 because of that issue.
00:02:51.620 Yeah, because like,
00:02:52.380 so you weren't strong enough
00:02:53.160 to handle that issue.
00:02:54.060 No, it's because like,
00:02:54.820 I don't,
00:02:55.400 you know what,
00:02:55.920 like, yeah.
00:02:57.240 I call bullshit.
00:02:58.160 But why would she stay?
00:02:59.380 Women make up reasons
00:03:00.380 they leave men
00:03:01.040 when they just fall out
00:03:01.820 of love with them.
00:03:03.000 Yeah.
00:03:03.280 So if you're really in love
00:03:04.340 with them,
00:03:04.600 you wouldn't have left them.
00:03:05.940 And yeah,
00:03:06.660 but like, you know,
00:03:07.320 by the way,
00:03:07.800 cooking's overrated.
00:03:08.740 Men don't care about that anymore.
00:03:09.800 No, I'm not.
00:03:10.320 No, I'm going to tell you.
00:03:11.140 I have Uber Eats.
00:03:12.000 I do care,
00:03:13.200 but I'll tell you,
00:03:14.040 I don't think it's like,
00:03:15.620 people act like
00:03:16.160 it's like some special thing.
00:03:17.460 Yeah.
00:03:17.880 I think it's like a,
00:03:19.160 it's like a normal thing
00:03:20.200 that would endear you
00:03:20.900 to a man, right?
00:03:21.760 Yeah, but like for example,
00:03:22.940 if I cook you a meal,
00:03:24.380 you owe me a relationship now,
00:03:26.120 you owe me like,
00:03:26.680 no, for example,
00:03:28.220 that's like a nice thing
00:03:29.000 to do for someone, right?
00:03:30.100 No, but you know what they say,
00:03:31.060 I love you,
00:03:31.760 but I love myself more,
00:03:32.900 so that's why I leave.
00:03:33.980 Yeah.
00:03:34.580 And because,
00:03:35.160 you know,
00:03:36.560 and I admit,
00:03:38.540 and I admit,
00:03:39.080 I'm still in love with that man.
00:03:40.180 He's the love of my life,
00:03:41.740 but like...
00:03:42.280 But you left him.
00:03:43.360 Yeah, because I love myself,
00:03:44.860 no, because I love myself more.
00:03:46.800 Did he leave because he cheated?
00:03:48.940 Would you say,
00:03:49.580 would you say that's selfish?
00:03:51.160 If valuing him,
00:03:52.580 you know,
00:03:52.900 I have a question.
00:03:54.320 Wouldn't you say that's selfish
00:03:55.560 to love yourself more?
00:03:57.460 No, because like,
00:03:58.620 you need,
00:03:59.920 you know,
00:04:00.220 like everyone says,
00:04:01.160 like you need to love yourself
00:04:02.220 before you love someone else.
00:04:03.500 No, everyone doesn't say that,
00:04:04.640 women say that.
00:04:05.380 I've never heard a man say that.
00:04:07.460 I'm pointing RuPaul.
00:04:09.300 No, I'm saying,
00:04:09.920 I'm pointing RuPaul.
00:04:10.700 Single women say that,
00:04:12.820 that you need to love yourself
00:04:14.080 before a relationship,
00:04:15.080 but if you want to start a family,
00:04:16.100 what do you have to love more?
00:04:16.960 The family.
00:04:17.880 Your kids.
00:04:18.860 Yeah,
00:04:19.260 you're right,
00:04:19.860 the family,
00:04:20.340 the kids,
00:04:20.880 and so it's like,
00:04:21.420 if you're already demonstrating
00:04:22.860 before you're even with a guy,
00:04:24.420 that you need to love yourself
00:04:25.620 more than the relationship,
00:04:27.140 then it's like,
00:04:27.640 you don't think that's selfish?
00:04:28.860 Yeah,
00:04:28.980 because your kids are going to be forever.
00:04:30.200 You said you're in love with him.
00:04:31.500 Yeah,
00:04:31.800 but like,
00:04:32.200 you should call him.
00:04:33.220 On the show live.
00:04:35.300 I'm just trying to get around
00:04:36.460 the idea that you said
00:04:37.900 you loved this guy
00:04:39.560 and he didn't tell you something,
00:04:41.180 he was dishonest to you,
00:04:42.840 but you could handle the truth,
00:04:44.220 but you fell out over this issue,
00:04:46.060 even though you just admitted
00:04:46.760 you love him,
00:04:47.360 so you've just shown
00:04:48.800 that he should have lied to you initially.
00:04:50.220 Yeah,
00:04:50.240 but like,
00:04:50.520 if you admit something,
00:04:51.740 I can deal with that,
00:04:53.240 but if you're telling me,
00:04:54.580 no,
00:04:55.000 I've been doing this instead of that,
00:04:56.900 and then I know what you've done.
00:04:59.120 Surely now is when
00:05:00.020 you actually build the trust
00:05:00.900 by showing you can handle the truth,
00:05:02.140 right?
00:05:02.840 Saying,
00:05:03.200 hey,
00:05:03.280 you don't need to lie to me anymore,
00:05:04.340 we can,
00:05:04.860 this is where you get to negotiate
00:05:06.280 and compromise,
00:05:07.360 right?
00:05:09.140 I mean,
00:05:09.580 I don't lie.
00:05:10.600 If valuing yourself meant like,
00:05:14.380 no,
00:05:14.700 if valuing them
00:05:15.780 meant disrespecting yourself,
00:05:17.980 would you still carry on doing it?
00:05:19.700 Do you think that's what it is?
00:05:21.220 Because we live in a world
00:05:22.080 full of girls
00:05:22.560 that put their ass
00:05:23.240 and titties on the internet
00:05:24.000 every day.
00:05:24.940 I am the first one.
00:05:26.080 If I'm valuing them.
00:05:27.680 Yeah,
00:05:27.880 so what you're saying
00:05:28.440 is absolute bullshit.
00:05:29.240 You weren't in love with that man.
00:05:30.340 You value yourself,
00:05:31.120 you're a sex worker.
00:05:31.860 Let's call it straight.
00:05:32.740 No,
00:05:32.900 but like,
00:05:33.460 oh,
00:05:33.800 I value myself,
00:05:34.880 I leave you for cheating,
00:05:35.880 you're a sex worker.
00:05:36.580 And I will admit,
00:05:37.640 I stopped doing it
00:05:38.820 while I was with him
00:05:39.580 because he asked me to,
00:05:41.020 and I tried to,
00:05:42.160 but then I went back to it
00:05:43.320 because I can't get enough of it.
00:05:45.120 And I don't mean it
00:05:45.780 to disrespect you,
00:05:46.580 but when I,
00:05:47.600 you can't get enough of it?
00:05:48.920 Oh,
00:05:49.180 yeah,
00:05:49.320 no.
00:05:49.640 Of the work?
00:05:50.640 Yeah.
00:05:51.020 In a professional sense,
00:05:52.060 or like?
00:05:52.620 Yeah.
00:05:53.080 It's fulfilling,
00:05:53.900 literally?
00:05:54.640 Yeah.
00:05:56.440 Every hole.
00:05:57.700 You need to get back
00:05:58.260 with this guy.
00:05:59.480 That guy really changed.
00:06:01.880 But another strand of this though
00:06:03.800 is perhaps what Justin
00:06:06.040 often talks about,
00:06:06.880 which is that
00:06:07.640 if he was genuinely high value,
00:06:09.800 he would have been up front
00:06:10.500 with you at the beginning
00:06:11.120 because you're saying
00:06:11.680 that he lied about it
00:06:12.540 or he concealed it.
00:06:13.900 Whereas actually,
00:06:14.800 if he'd have said up front,
00:06:15.760 listen,
00:06:16.200 you know,
00:06:16.440 you're my main girl,
00:06:17.180 but guess what?
00:06:19.300 Yeah.
00:06:19.940 That would have been preferable.
00:06:21.420 From my point of view,
00:06:22.340 I will be,
00:06:22.920 I was like,
00:06:23.640 you know,
00:06:23.920 if you were telling me
00:06:24.920 from the beginning,
00:06:25.620 like,
00:06:25.880 oh,
00:06:26.060 look,
00:06:26.260 I want to do this.
00:06:27.420 Yeah.
00:06:27.880 But,
00:06:28.120 and not use my job against me,
00:06:30.540 I could have thought about it
00:06:32.180 because otherwise,
00:06:33.560 I mean,
00:06:34.180 like,
00:06:34.380 you know what?
00:06:35.100 Like,
00:06:35.240 we can be polyamorous.
00:06:36.500 Everyone is doing it.
00:06:37.600 Let's try.
00:06:39.260 I think maybe that's what
00:06:40.440 we need to start respecting
00:06:41.620 a little bit more
00:06:42.640 as opposed to loyalty.
00:06:44.700 It's just the honesty.
00:06:45.900 The honesty.
00:06:46.560 Yeah.
00:06:46.760 It's just,
00:06:47.400 you know,
00:06:47.640 I'm a man.
00:06:48.500 Yeah.
00:06:48.780 And I don't like to have
00:06:50.220 someone else to come and tell me,
00:06:51.440 look,
00:06:51.620 your man went with him.
00:06:52.520 But here's the truth though,
00:06:53.380 because if a man came to you
00:06:54.580 and you truly loved him
00:06:55.480 and he set you down,
00:06:56.940 got everything out the way
00:06:57.840 and you were knee to knee
00:06:58.580 and he looked you dead in the eyes
00:06:59.480 and said,
00:06:59.820 listen,
00:07:00.240 I really care about you.
00:07:02.080 Obviously,
00:07:02.440 I'm going to see other women.
00:07:03.300 There's no way
00:07:03.820 I'll ever have feelings for them.
00:07:04.860 I'm going to take care of you completely.
00:07:06.180 I want to be the man
00:07:06.880 that makes your dreams come true.
00:07:08.400 Let's go to the dark side of the moon.
00:07:10.080 I'm going to be the rock
00:07:10.980 that your emotional weight
00:07:11.880 is crashing into.
00:07:12.460 I am there for you.
00:07:13.240 I am in love with you.
00:07:14.140 Let's have kids.
00:07:15.040 I'm going to have sex with women
00:07:16.160 every now and then.
00:07:17.180 That girl's delusional.
00:07:18.300 She doesn't know.
00:07:19.680 And he tells you the truth
00:07:21.140 instead of being a coward.
00:07:22.400 See,
00:07:22.580 the problem is
00:07:23.520 you don't like a man
00:07:25.080 that's going to be a coward
00:07:26.020 and lie behind your back
00:07:27.160 because he's too much of a bitch
00:07:28.420 to tell you the truth.
00:07:29.480 You know the truth.
00:07:30.720 You know the truth from the jump
00:07:31.660 that every man wants to do it.
00:07:32.960 It's the respect of sitting you down
00:07:34.460 and telling you the truth.
00:07:35.760 Furthermore,
00:07:36.420 most often when a woman
00:07:37.660 truly,
00:07:38.260 truly loves a man,
00:07:39.300 she does not want to sleep
00:07:40.400 with other men
00:07:41.100 at all.
00:07:42.380 It's not this,
00:07:43.120 oh,
00:07:43.300 you get to do it,
00:07:43.900 I want to do it too
00:07:44.720 because she's so in love
00:07:45.540 with a man.
00:07:46.380 She just wants to be with a man.
00:07:48.640 So,
00:07:49.840 in that way,
00:07:51.140 I really respect what you said
00:07:52.500 because it is true
00:07:53.480 in a lot of women
00:07:54.480 when a man has the balls
00:07:56.180 to actually tell the truth
00:07:57.180 will in fact stay
00:07:58.620 because they know
00:07:59.320 they can go get with the next guy,
00:08:00.500 live a shittier life
00:08:01.380 and then get lied to
00:08:02.300 from a coward.
00:08:03.120 I think it comes from the idea
00:08:05.280 and this might be controversial
00:08:06.700 but it's the idea that,
00:08:08.800 you know,
00:08:10.000 this is,
00:08:10.900 life's not fair,
00:08:12.260 this is how it is.
00:08:13.480 A thousand percent.
00:08:14.000 Men are men,
00:08:15.220 I don't know,
00:08:16.080 that's just how I feel.
00:08:17.720 If you're going to be,
00:08:18.880 men are men,
00:08:19.840 that's how they're going to be.
00:08:20.640 So,
00:08:20.840 if you're man enough to say,
00:08:23.100 look,
00:08:23.580 this is the truth,
00:08:25.180 this is what you're going to have to deal with,
00:08:26.500 I love you
00:08:27.240 but this is what it is,
00:08:29.460 I would take that any day over.
00:08:31.680 Well,
00:08:31.840 the issue is it's a marketplace,
00:08:33.200 isn't it?
00:08:33.560 You know,
00:08:33.740 and it's very unromantic
00:08:34.740 and it sounds very crude to say it
00:08:36.400 but the reality is that
00:08:37.160 dating,
00:08:38.040 sex,
00:08:38.580 relationships,
00:08:39.020 it's a big marketplace out there,
00:08:40.420 right?
00:08:40.660 So,
00:08:41.060 the guy who is high value,
00:08:43.100 who has options,
00:08:44.160 is going to exercise those options
00:08:46.280 in most cases,
00:08:47.400 right?
00:08:47.620 Now,
00:08:47.840 every guy wants to,
00:08:49.380 would like to,
00:08:50.560 have multiple women,
00:08:51.820 not every guy is going to be capable
00:08:52.980 of achieving that.
00:08:53.700 So,
00:08:53.820 you're going to get some guys
00:08:54.520 who are sort of lower down
00:08:55.600 in the hierarchy,
00:08:56.360 right?
00:08:56.760 You could date them
00:08:58.000 or you could marry them
00:08:59.200 and they would probably be faithful.
00:09:00.340 Or you go to a trans girl.
00:09:01.940 Okay.
00:09:03.080 One thing I think people
00:09:04.360 keep on missing with this
00:09:05.300 is that maybe you're not really
00:09:06.440 even messing with
00:09:07.240 the high quality people.
00:09:08.680 Maybe it's just a lot of mediocre
00:09:09.780 but good looking people
00:09:10.840 who have convinced themselves
00:09:12.180 that they're worthy of
00:09:13.560 the ultimate commitment
00:09:14.540 and love and attention
00:09:15.320 from each other
00:09:15.920 when you're all as mediocre
00:09:17.400 as each other,
00:09:18.340 right?
00:09:18.580 So,
00:09:18.880 if you're dating athletes
00:09:19.620 and rappers
00:09:20.080 who are known
00:09:20.760 for being promiscuous,
00:09:21.820 they're not particularly men
00:09:22.680 of high stature
00:09:24.000 in terms of character
00:09:24.900 and you're in a short skirt
00:09:27.000 at an after party,
00:09:28.200 you're not particularly
00:09:28.960 wife material right then.
00:09:30.400 So,
00:09:31.220 why do we kind of
00:09:32.640 convince ourselves
00:09:33.380 that we don't need to
00:09:34.380 compromise
00:09:35.020 and work for what we want?
00:09:37.100 Because I think men understand
00:09:38.040 that you have to work
00:09:39.020 to get the woman,
00:09:40.720 like the one.
00:09:41.760 But I never hear women
00:09:43.180 talk about all the things
00:09:44.240 they need to do
00:09:44.880 to qualify for the man
00:09:46.300 they actually want.
00:09:47.560 It seems like
00:09:48.040 you don't want to compromise,
00:09:49.440 he must be faithful,
00:09:50.520 he must have this,
00:09:51.120 he must have that,
00:09:51.740 he must be loyal.
00:09:52.360 Or most of the time
00:09:53.200 they say it when you're
00:09:53.940 not around there.
00:09:55.700 Most of the time
00:09:56.540 they can say it
00:09:57.300 when a man is not
00:09:58.320 around there.
00:09:58.900 We don't have to
00:09:59.920 explicitly state to you
00:10:01.340 what we, you know,
00:10:02.200 that's something we do
00:10:02.840 in ourselves
00:10:03.380 and with our girls.
00:10:04.140 Okay, many of you know
00:10:05.000 I was just banned
00:10:06.240 on TikTok
00:10:07.140 and we are demonetized
00:10:08.860 on a daily basis
00:10:10.100 on this platform.
00:10:11.900 If you want to help,
00:10:13.400 please consider sending
00:10:14.520 a super thanks below.
00:10:16.440 Every donation helps
00:10:17.760 and it helps make
00:10:18.600 what we do possible.