JustPearlyThings - May 19, 2023


JWALLER Gives STUBBORN Woman A Reality


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

210.89348

Word count

2,096

Sentence count

52

Harmful content

Misogyny

15

sentences flagged

Hate speech

9

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode we discuss the age old question of when do you want to get married? Is it too late in life to be a wife and have kids at 35 or is it better to wait until you're 30 or 35 years old?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 I do still think it is a whole process like I'm like the youngest person in this room. I'm 20
00:00:05.360 You know, I'm not looking to get married next year
00:00:08.020 Like the whole thing is just a journey and it's growth and it's about personal growth and you know the answer the answer
00:00:14.740 No is okay
00:00:16.740 You could just say no
00:00:18.740 I'm not looking to find a married partner like I'm 20 do you know what I mean, but I'm just saying
00:00:25.760 But it's like you give this like word salad instead of just no no, but from someone who doesn't hasn't had that growing up
00:00:32.420 Being in a married household. I'm come. I'm happy with what I got, you know
00:00:36.640 I'm I can sit and be comfortable with that. When do you want to be married by I don't know. I don't have a I don't know
00:00:42.520 So 45 oh
00:00:44.520 No, hell no, that's okay. Okay. So you you do have a rough. Okay, so 35
00:00:49.860 Yeah, I'd say so okay. So you want to be married by 35. Yeah, I'd say that was right
00:00:54.000 I'm not putting like
00:00:56.000 Why is that mad do you want kids because it is clearly sounds like there's no women around you who are saying listen 0.99
00:01:00.980 You're young you're gorgeous. This is the time you set the foundations for who you want to be
00:01:04.360 It sounds like they're saying just chill trust me when women get past a certain age the pool reduces significantly 1.00
00:01:10.740 No, absolutely not. I disagree with that like by my mom is so like you and cross my mom like she's so strong
00:01:18.520 I think whether that's to do with her job or just the fact that my grandma was also a single parent
00:01:23.900 Whether that's you hold your mom
00:01:25.500 She is 51 and she has a job. Yeah, she's that she has failed as you will
00:01:31.680 Sorry
00:01:32.520 Straight up your mom's lying to you you want to get married at 35
00:01:38.060 You have children. No, I never said I'd get married at 35 pill was giving me an estimate
00:01:42.320 You said yes, no, she said 45 and I said no, and then she said 35 and you said yes, that's about right 1.00
00:01:48.700 Like yeah, yeah, too late too late. I'll marry a 20 year old instead. That's fine, right?
00:01:54.200 Look, I'm just telling you like box wine cats. That's your life. No, I just I don't it's hard
00:02:02.040 Go to the club. How does she how do you I'm 37? Are you married? 0.61
00:02:06.660 Huh you think single wouldn't you like to know well, I'm just saying like that's but I'm not the one with the problem 1.00
00:02:12.060 You're not the same though. You're delusional
00:02:13.680 You're not this and I hate that for you because you're a pretty girl
00:02:16.080 That's really smart and I hate that you're saying these things because you could probably be a hell of a good wife and a good mother
00:02:21.240 You're not a stupid woman. I think you're misled. It's just sad to see married on your 37 years
00:02:27.300 Have you been married? No, I have you got kids? I
00:02:30.600 Let me just say this. I have it all I got it all
00:02:33.460 Do you know I got it all? Are you trying to let measure up? No
00:02:46.180 I'm almost stressing to you like I don't want to be mean to you almost stressing to you that this is like it's the wrong path
00:02:56.400 Have you got your life together? Why do you think that's funny that a sex worker is gonna 1.00
00:03:03.460 My dear, yeah, I have my life completely together. There's nothing in my life. I would change it anyway
00:03:09.300 You're being angry now
00:03:11.300 Because I'm trying
00:03:13.300 You're angry about your life my dear
00:03:15.300 Okay, no, I'm not
00:03:21.300 So listen
00:03:23.300 No, I really cuz I don't want to be mean to you or anybody and I apologize if I have I just simply think
00:03:28.260 That wait until 35 to get married and finding yourself and sleeping with a bunch of people is gonna be bad
00:03:33.540 No, I said we were waiting to say you literally just said that like what is so right about your path that makes mine wrong
00:03:40.180 No, it's not me comparing myself to you. It's just me saying damn. That's gonna not be good
00:03:46.180 Because I see it all the time. It's not because I'm not trying to pick on you
00:03:49.460 I just see these girls are on Instagram. They got their boobs out and they're doing all this stuff and you're like 1.00
00:03:54.080 They're not as well at the same time like that
00:03:56.080 That's that's irrelevant man, right? That's something we've deemed right? That's my mind. What does that matter with? What are you saying?
00:04:03.120 Well, he shouldn't be talking like that
00:04:05.760 Is what he's saying true or not?
00:04:07.760 It can be true and it can be not
00:04:09.600 You guys you just listen like listen to what he's saying. He actually he actually had he
00:04:15.840 And I've agreed with almost half of the stuff he's been saying, but I'm saying just listen before you get triggered listen
00:04:21.840 I'm just simply saying that likely you're gonna want to have kids in a family long before 35. That's all
00:04:29.920 That's what I'm saying and in addition and I don't mean to cut you off. I'm sorry
00:04:33.440 You're gonna want a real man 1.00
00:04:34.560 Not a man that's gonna come home and cry to you not a man that you have the mother that would just make you a broken bird
00:04:38.960 You want a guy that you can look up to and you want to be the like the leader in your relationship
00:04:43.840 Yeah, absolutely
00:04:44.640 But I'm just saying like I wasn't saying yes
00:04:46.960 35 is when I will be nobody but but the but then the suggestion of like well
00:04:52.080 I'm not going to learn any of these skills because I'm only 20
00:04:54.240 I think I think the general point is like if you go to other countries if you you know
00:04:57.280 Ukraine before the current war and you know, Russia
00:05:00.400 I mean there are women they're getting married at like 22 23 1.00
00:05:03.680 You know, it's societally here. We've got this different idea about it, you know, but it's not it's not worldwide
00:05:10.080 So you have it you haven't been raised to be a wife, right? 0.83
00:05:12.400 That's it. That's you said so how when when do other women usually when did you start learning to be a wife? 1.00
00:05:17.840 Would you say at a very young age?
00:05:19.440 Give me just one like number quick just a brief of things like I was learning how to make simple things like eggs at the age of
00:05:26.240 Eight, nine. Okay, eight nine. So
00:05:29.520 Okay, so so you're 20. So she's she's been learning to be a wife for for 12 years
00:05:34.560 So, okay, wait, wait, wait, let me finish. She's been learning to be a wife for 12 years 1.00
00:05:38.720 Right now. You're behind so so right because she's you're going to be competing for the same guys 0.96
00:05:46.560 Right, because we all want the same men. We've established this
00:05:49.600 We all want about 20% of men and you can deny it or not, but you do just trust me on this
00:05:54.880 So, how how would you get to a point where you could compete with her?
00:05:58.560 So the thing is just how you said oh i've been learning to cook eggs like for
00:06:03.840 Like just simple as a wife. Yeah, like not entirely as a wife, maybe just as a woman
00:06:10.960 So when you said that I was literally just going to jump in and say yeah, I have also been taught how to do those things
00:06:17.200 But not for anybody else other than me
00:06:19.760 Yeah, like as a woman
00:06:21.760 I think that's an important thing to say
00:06:23.760 The point is still the same though is that
00:06:25.760 You're not you're not learning the key skills and mentalities needed to maintain a long-term
00:06:30.240 Relationship with with a man, but surely if I can do that for myself, I have the facilities to do that for someone else
00:06:38.320 But it's not it's not about cooking
00:06:41.600 Cooking is an example of a skill that comes with it right because you have to feed the kids, you know
00:06:46.320 I know some guys can afford Uber Eats, but
00:06:49.200 but but but like my point my point is
00:06:52.960 You have to learn from wives how to get along with a man 1.00
00:06:55.600 And if you didn't have the that as an example, you didn't learn you don't know
00:07:00.240 And so a lot of times women we get to an age like 20 21 22 23 and we don't realize we're behind 0.73
00:07:07.520 Because all the other women have been learning this for 10 years and now we're trying to play catch up 0.86
00:07:12.560 And instead of you know, and I would just recommend trying to get women that are wives. See if someone to learn from 1.00
00:07:18.080 I don't know. I think it's maybe my perspective is that if I know how to do it
00:07:21.840 I know I could do it for other people like it's not that simple
00:07:26.800 It's about cooking and it's not about cooking
00:07:28.480 No, no, no
00:07:29.200 I'm just saying like if I can love myself and I can be there for myself and I can provide for myself how I've been taught to
00:07:35.280 I can do that for other people
00:07:36.640 I think the thing is do you know what the only thing that I think like I completely agree with you
00:07:41.360 Like when you love yourself, you love other people
00:07:43.360 But something that I like have been learning is that the way we love ourselves as women is not the same way that a man will want to be loved
00:07:50.480 So it's like so nobody so it's like you know when you're given like the answers that we would give ourselves
00:07:55.360 Like we would give logical answers to ourselves
00:07:57.520 But a man like he probably wouldn't want a logical answer from his woman because then it's like 0.99
00:08:01.840 I'm not sure loving I'm not sure loving yourself is is is the route to being able to love somebody else in a relationship
00:08:07.120 It sounds very solipsistic. It's very solipsistic, isn't it?
00:08:09.760 It's like oh, I can I love myself. I can nurture myself and everything
00:08:12.880 But what's that? What does that do in terms of giving somebody somebody else sustenance?
00:08:18.240 Marriage is supposed to be about the family before you. It's not about like
00:08:22.880 Marriage has nothing to do with happiness
00:08:25.680 Marriage has nothing to do with loving yourself. It's about loving the family before I love myself
00:08:29.680 Agreed the key trait is selflessness. So that's another hint that that you're being misled is that you're saying all the stuff about self-love
00:08:36.560 But the key trait for a marriage is selflessness
00:08:38.640 It's the man being selfless thinking of his family his wife before himself is the woman being selfless
00:08:42.720 We have a generation of women who are being 1.00
00:08:45.120 Growing up thinking also me loving myself loving myself. You're gonna be loving yourself at 27
00:08:51.280 And you're gonna be looking for decent guys after you've made all the wrong choices
00:08:54.800 You're gonna realize there's only like two guys in there who have a long-term job and who actually like have are respectable people
00:08:59.760 And those guys will have 17 women who are all waiting for that same spot 1.00
00:09:04.000 And then you're gonna talk to 32 year olds who will be getting run through
00:09:06.960 Who are going to be too busy trying to lie to you that they're having fun when they're paying a quarter of their salary to therapists every month
00:09:11.920 Right, and that's my concern is that you you you if that if that cycle happens because that that is he literally just
00:09:19.040 Set a cycle that we all see all the time
00:09:21.440 My concern from you and this is coming from care
00:09:23.440 I didn't mean to attack you and now if I did I am sorry
00:09:26.720 I am simply trying to stress to you that if you go that route by the time you meet him he won't want you
00:09:33.680 And that and that is just a concern. I'm not saying i'm right
00:09:36.560 I'm saying it's a high probability concern
00:09:39.280 Just banned on tick-tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform
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