JustPearlyThings - March 30, 2023


Man Claims that Men Should Sign the Marriage Contract


Episode Stats


Length

11 minutes

Words per minute

183.58076

Word count

2,061

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Misogyny

15

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Join us as we talk about the problems we see in the dating world today and how we can fix them. Join us in this episode as we discuss the problems of dating in the modern dating culture and how to fix them for men and women.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 okay you can answer go ahead hello hey how's it going pearl i'm good how are you good just saw
00:00:12.740 your live stream thought i'd call in okay um so what do you think is the solution for men and for
00:00:18.660 women moving forward because i've had a lot of solutions for men so why don't why don't you give 1.00
00:00:22.700 me one for both so this is actually a funny thing for me i became a mormon about 10 years ago right
00:00:29.300 when like tinder was uh just starting up and becoming a thing okay and when i started watching
00:00:35.220 your show i saw like how completely different the dating field is nowadays but i think probably the
00:00:40.620 biggest thing right now is that there's no maturity around dating like people are just dating to have
00:00:46.860 fun guys are dating to have fun and get as many girls as they want people aren't dating for the
00:00:51.880 purpose of marrying and having kids anymore and and like the lds community that's what we do when we
00:00:56.860 date we date because we're looking for somebody to marry instead of somebody to just have fun around
00:01:02.180 with so it's it's crazy how much the mentality of dating has just completely changed in the last 10
00:01:07.720 years because guys and girls nowadays they get married when they're running out of time and they're
00:01:12.600 running out of options so what what is the solution to you moving forward dating with intention
00:01:19.000 dating with intention but there's got to be like a cultural shift like everyone is viewed family as
00:01:27.700 not being worth anything you know like family something that you do after you've had fun instead
00:01:32.980 of you start your life with the intentions of having a family so unless people actually have a reason to
00:01:38.900 get married there's no point you know if you're just marrying so that way you don't want to grow old and
00:01:43.380 lonely that's it's a pretty sad way to enter marriage but if you're getting married with the
00:01:49.480 intention of having a family you're dating different people than if you're just looking for somebody to
00:01:54.600 have fun with so say say we're dating with the intention of having a family um do you think men
00:02:01.640 should sign the marriage contract 100 okay why uh because when you sign a contract with men and women
00:02:11.560 women when you enter into that marriage arrangement you're saying hey we're going to be together 1.00
00:02:16.920 thicker than no matter what happens we're together for the purpose of having kids raising a family
00:02:23.300 growing old together and dying together that's what your intention is when you get married unfortunately
00:02:28.780 divorce has become so easy people get married i don't even know why people get married if they're
00:02:32.800 not intending to you know right have a better purpose what i'm saying from like a guy's point of
00:02:37.660 view why would you sign a contract that she's paid to leave when the divorce rate is 50 0.99
00:02:41.460 like what incentive does he have well uh what's the purpose of getting married if that's what
00:02:48.900 you're worried about and if you're dating the kind of girls that are going to do that then 0.56
00:02:53.540 you need to find a better dating pool um so you think it's all on the on the men 0.99
00:03:00.680 and the women they're no it's on both that's what i'm saying like normal normal women that you 0.77
00:03:05.920 wouldn't expect still leave their husbands so it's like why would a guy sign a contract where
00:03:12.280 she's paid to leave that comes down to trust like with my wife who when we got married about six years 0.95
00:03:20.620 ago like when we got married it was to create a stable foundation for our family she could right now 0.96
00:03:27.920 i'm in a place where there's no fault divorce she could at any time leave me but at the same time 0.52
00:03:32.880 like we both have expectations of each other like i have expectations for her she has expectations for
00:03:39.260 me we have to live up to it and uh one time we were joking uh when we were engaged we were walking
00:03:45.720 in a river valley here and we ran into this old couple and they told us they've been married 60
00:03:50.800 years and my wife asked like hey did you guys ever like think of divorce or anything and the old lady
00:03:56.680 just looked at us she's like divorce she's like never honey murder a few times no and and i agree 0.67
00:04:03.800 with you like i think that's the ideal but again i just think right now the laws are the way they are
00:04:09.780 and is it wise to tell men to sign that contract with the laws being the way they are like i i just
00:04:16.460 personally like have a hard time encouraging that because again like men are more likely to commit
00:04:21.720 suicide after a divorce they could lose access to their children they could lose half of their
00:04:25.460 everything they've worked 20 30 years to build up and it's if you get on a plane and there's a 50 0.66
00:04:31.300 chance of you of it crashing are you likely to get on the plane probably not and like i i understand
00:04:38.040 like there's different um in the mormon community i'm sure this isn't as prevalent but it this most
00:04:44.140 people don't live in that community and so what is the average guy supposed to do
00:04:48.680 oh i 100 agree like i said the culture is completely messed up nowadays outside like i didn't realize how
00:04:55.220 messed up it become until i started watching your shows and seeing yeah what the people you bring
00:04:59.240 off the street actually say it just blew my mind yeah but um i think i think probably so it's kind of
00:05:06.620 like what's the real solution going forward me and my wife we're open about talking about this stuff
00:05:11.140 and like for example like i we've talked about one time like the number one thing that triggers
00:05:16.060 divorce is the guy losing his job and it's not that my wife would ever want to like dish me just
00:05:22.940 because i lose my job i mean i make a healthy income she's able to be a stay-at-home mom 1.00
00:05:26.140 but at the same time i know that if the income stops coming in her uncertainty is going to go
00:05:31.160 through the roof and she's gonna eventually just be her own biology is going to force her to leave
00:05:36.620 so and on the flip side you know i i tell her you know like i gotta sometimes i'm a little horny and i
00:05:46.160 want to have sex sometimes and she understands that and then at the same time i tell her hey i'm out 0.85
00:05:51.100 making the money you can help my certainty a ton by taking care of the home making sure the place
00:05:56.440 is nice doing the classic like being a home mother kind of situation so when i come home i'm able i
00:06:02.760 don't come home to more chaos in my life no and i agree and of course we help each other out no and i
00:06:07.980 i agree that's how it should be but my question still is what is the solution moving forward
00:06:12.520 you you would still say that men should sign a contract that women are paid to leave
00:06:16.500 because again like it's it's nice to say oh in an ideal situation this is how it should be but
00:06:24.860 we're in modern times but i'm also in modern times and i like lds culture and it's not just lds but
00:06:32.160 also like more orthodox christian and uh other religious groups we still live in the culture where
00:06:38.880 marriage is a big deal and it's culturally enforced so my best advice to men would be to go 1.00
00:06:44.460 and go into a culture where marriage is valued there's still pockets of it out there everywhere
00:06:49.700 it's not mainstream you're going to be going into a pool where there's women and men who have
00:06:55.060 expectations and you have expectations so my best advice to guys would be to go enter into one of
00:07:00.720 those cultures where there's still that pressure from her family from your family from the people in
00:07:05.620 your community to maintain marriage as what it should be as opposed to going in out and dating people
00:07:11.480 in a place where that's not you know there's no cultural pressure to stay together because then
00:07:15.840 you're trying to rely on legal pressure and you know you see how far that goes yeah i just i don't
00:07:22.120 know it doesn't really sit right with me to tell guys to sign a contract that women are paid to leave 0.84
00:07:28.000 and trust that she won't and go just go to somewhere where her friends and her family will tell her not to
00:07:34.000 you know yeah you know i can see i can honestly tell you if you're looking at it from a pure legal
00:07:44.300 standpoint and the only thing that's forcing you two to stay together is a legal contract that's
00:07:49.420 easily broken then there's no point you need more than just a legal contract there is a question in
00:07:54.980 the chat do mormons have multiple wives that's a thing in mormon is that right no there's a there's a
00:08:02.280 break off of our church that's broke off like a hundred years ago that practices it but uh there's
00:08:07.920 always the joke you don't brother i see you're lacking wives here take one of mine okay i was
00:08:13.420 just curious uh well thank you for calling in i appreciate it no problem um i wanted to see i feel
00:08:22.980 like i saw a stat and i don't want to i wasn't going to quote this because i'm not sure and i don't
00:08:28.840 want to quote anything i'm not 100 sure of but i swear i saw something that said that religious
00:08:34.300 people like the marriage rates aren't a lot better than with the normal population i don't know chat if
00:08:41.080 you know where that is let me know i'm gonna look it up after the show because i'm just curious because
00:08:48.240 okay a lot of times we get the church right they'll come in and say return to traditionalism but
00:08:54.640 unfortunately as sad as it is i just don't think there's any going back and again
00:09:00.760 people that get married before the age of 24 are 39 more likely to get divorced
00:09:07.700 are traditional outcomes better in modern times i don't know i don't have all the answers so
00:09:15.360 that's why i'm saying call in let me know what you guys think
00:09:18.480 um i want to look up the church marriage i swore it was not that different but i could i could be
00:09:29.840 wrong i don't want to anyways guys call in
00:09:34.200 what'd you say
00:09:38.620 let's see so another question that i have
00:09:51.660 women would you give up a wedding for a marriage the average wedding costs 20 000 would you give up 1.00
00:10:02.100 a wedding for a marriage because that's one thing i've seen is that guys don't want to get married
00:10:06.400 because they don't want to pay for the ring and pay for the wedding and like pay for like
00:10:09.460 it's so expensive and why why do you need that expensive of a wedding and a ring to get a husband 0.99
00:10:17.340 i'm going to read some of the super chats so one solution take the government out of marriage to 1.00
00:10:22.520 remove incentives to walk away marriage is still a very fulfilling partnership the best way to stay
00:10:27.820 together is to just stay together yeah but you can't help it if your wife leaves you
00:10:32.540 what do you you can't help that um your whatsapp call number is not working that's what they say
00:10:41.360 i can't find out how to call but my wife and i got married as virgins i was broke because of her
00:10:46.600 and i am now well above 100k we've been happily married for uh let's say 13 years and half as many
00:10:54.580 of you know i was just banned on tiktok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform
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