JustPearlyThings - Modern Woman Got Reality Check

00:00:00.000 could go back in time would you wait until you were married to have sex yes 0.70

00:00:03.300 yeah you would I don't know because I feel like every every relationship that

00:00:16.520 I've been in I've learned something from so it's like if I said I'd go back and

00:00:21.600 change it and not do it then I wouldn't learn I wouldn't have learned the things

00:00:25.000 that I wouldn't moving forward so I don't know it's it's almost like saying

00:00:28.920 and I'm just gonna eliminate experiences that I've had yeah but if they ended

00:00:33.520 bad like what value does like sexual experience bring to you now like what

00:00:39.040 what you know if you're gonna let's say you meet your husband tomorrow and you're

00:00:41.460 going into a marriage and you could have just slept with him yeah or slept with

00:00:44.700 him and all these other guys like don't you think it would be better to just

00:00:48.120 sleep with him I understand what you're saying because obviously when you get

00:00:50.580 married the love that you have for that person other people that you've been in

00:00:53.280 relationship is definitely different because you're married and you're gonna

00:00:56.340 build a life with them so I think when I get to that I'll probably be like oh do

00:01:00.120 you know what I wish I would have waited yeah now I haven't I'm not trying to

00:01:04.440 settle down I'm not in that time of my life so my perspective is going to be

00:01:07.800 different what age would you like to settle down if I'm completely honest it's

00:01:12.300 all about when my career is is if when I'm happy with where I am in my life if

00:01:16.980 that makes sense because I wouldn't want to settle down not having achieved

00:01:19.980 everything that I want to achieve on myself because I'm kind of quite selfish in

00:01:23.500 that I want to be very successful do a lot have tons of businesses so I think

00:01:27.040 say fight I blew up and I had all this success by the time I was 27 then cool

00:01:32.680 I'll look for when I'm 27 but it depends on where I am financially and stuff

00:01:38.120 like that to be honest what value does your career bring to a guy well music I

00:01:44.620 want to inspire people and motivate people and I want to make a change I want to

00:01:48.260 yeah but men don't care he's like oh I'm looking for a girl to inspire and

00:01:52.580 motivate you know what I mean yeah yeah a hundred percent I think it's like you're

00:01:56.120 young now you're pretty now and but you're gonna be less pretty and less 0.51

00:01:59.380 young in ten years in five years so like why would you not look for that when

00:02:02.800 you're younger I mean I look I look quite young now so maybe when I'm older I'll

00:02:07.680 still look young I know but I just know what I want out of life yes I I do want a

00:02:14.580 family for me that's very important I don't have any siblings and all my family

00:02:17.820 members are very far spread out across the world so what for me I need that

00:02:21.900 security so just just a stat for you guys did you know if you hit 30 and you and

00:02:26.520 you're still single you drop to a less than 50 percent chance of you being able

00:02:31.440 to have a kid meaning that if you're still single you're more likely to not

00:02:35.160 have a kid than have one and so it's like knowing that you wouldn't want like

00:02:40.680 because you know you're 24 now right yeah let's say you date a guy tomorrow and you

00:02:44.280 date him for three years and it doesn't work out yeah it's like then no no now

00:02:48.220 you're a bit older and you have to keep yeah I do think everything happens for a

00:02:52.200 reason though if I'm completely honest like I could turn 30 and find my dream

00:02:56.100 guy the next day do you know I mean and then build a relationship with you can

00:03:00.040 you could but the odds aren't in your favor yeah and the number and that's what

00:03:03.240 that's what I'm saying like I think a lot of times society tells us to go

00:03:06.480 after a career first when it would be a lot easier if we if we were married

00:03:10.620 because you could have the same experiences you could just have them with your

00:03:13.140 husband very true but then what if he then wanted to have kids with you 0.90

00:03:17.400 straightaway then you'd have to sacrifice that and you want to be a

00:03:20.600 mother oh yeah I want like five kids 90% of your eggs are gone by 30 yeah so 0.92

00:03:27.380 wait way too long you can't have five your geriatric you know when geriatric

00:03:32.180 pregnancy starts any of you 34 what's geriatric you know the answer I was going 0.98

00:03:37.140 for them so geriatric pregnancy is like high-risk pregnancy you know when that

00:03:42.360 starts I'd probably say 30 30 plus I know it's 40 right no 28 it's 35 really so

00:03:52.980 high-risk pregnancy starts at 35 and IVF it's actually most likely that it won't

00:03:57.260 work out I'm IVF I'm IVF I'm an IVF baby my parents started trying to have a kid at

00:04:05.080 34 I think but I think they had complications anyway yeah no and they're

00:04:08.160 lucky that you you they're lucky but that's not the norm like the majority

00:04:11.760 of IVF it doesn't work out yeah and there's complications as well so yeah

00:04:16.080 but we can do stuff like freeze our eggs and stuff like that I know that again

00:04:20.420 it's it's not 100% but but like you know but but even like the odds aren't if

00:04:25.680 you're over it's like it's a less than 50% chance that you eat that that works out

00:04:30.480 that you actually even conceive the kid so it's like they kind of lie to us because

00:04:34.380 they tell them you they tell us we have all these options when we don't when half

00:04:37.920 of your options are also gone by 30 so the number of options you have at 20 by

00:04:41.820 the time you get to 30 half of them are gone don't you think it's a lot of

00:04:44.520 pressure on a woman yeah it's actually quite sad like even this conversation is

00:04:48.540 open my eyes you're being told some people are saying that women shouldn't 0.88

00:04:53.760 have a career they should focus on their marriage and care about their husband

00:04:56.460 and their children other people want to not have housewives and want their woman to 1.00

00:05:00.780 have a career but then we have the pressure of not being able to have kids

00:05:04.320 at a certain age there's just there's so much for women to kind of squeeze in 1.00

00:05:08.940 yeah it could be overwhelming

00:05:10.260 well that's the thing you can't have everything but it's like what outcomes

00:05:14.520 do you want like what I already yeah yeah what what outcomes would make you

00:05:18.300 happy everyone has different priority right and so it's kind of a trade-off

00:05:22.440 because you know women over the age of 45 that are still single and

00:05:25.680 childless like they're on drugs they're on drugs at a higher rate than any other

00:05:28.920 group and they're more depressed than any other group and they don't tell us that

00:05:32.920 we're really on a time clock and and they don't really warn us about that and

00:05:37.440 you just you can't have everything and so it's the question of like what outcome do

00:05:41.380 you want personally for me I've had this conversation myself a fair few years ago

00:05:45.540 actually and I want the fame and fortune and to have a career but I need a

00:05:50.820 family right for my mental health so if I had a pill one of them was to have a

00:05:55.120 family one of them to be famous I would have a family because that's what I need

00:05:58.780 right right so why wouldn't you prioritize that now knowing knowing that

00:06:02.620 the quality of guy you're gonna get is only gonna get worse like right now that

00:06:06.520 you're the most attractive you're ever gonna be you know it'd be one thing if

00:06:09.520 you were fat then you could lose weight and get up but you're in shape right

00:06:14.120 because always give me this exception like because if you're fat you duh but

00:06:18.980 but you know you're in good shape so it's like this is the highest quality guy

00:06:22.520 you're ever gonna be able to get yeah and now it's only gonna get worse I hear

00:06:26.120 that but for me to raise a family the way I want to raise it I want to have money

00:06:30.020 that's not for me to go spoil my kids because I don't I think raisins kids 1.00

00:06:33.980 spoil doesn't teach them anything but I would want them to not struggle the way

00:06:38.240 that I've struggled could you marry a guy with money would I marry a guy of course yeah

00:06:42.560 so why don't you just do that because you could you're pretty enough I mean 1.00

00:06:46.320 thank you I could do but I wouldn't be fulfilled and I think in life it's all

00:06:51.560 about fulfilling your own hopes and dreams and stuff like that so what is it

00:06:55.100 like this dream this world doesn't sound real to me and this is come I come from

00:06:58.760 like my dad's a top like 1% earner he's very very successful and like I grew up

00:07:02.360 around successful people but yeah this this doesn't sound real where okay because

00:07:06.560 where the mom has this successful career and the dad also has the

00:07:10.740 successful career and they also have kids they also have five kids like

00:07:15.120 something's got to give you literally can't do everything or you're paying a

00:07:18.840 nanny to raise your kid I mean to be fair I'm not gonna lie if I had money and I

00:07:23.520 was a businesswoman and I was busy I would have help if I could afford it I

00:07:27.240 genuinely would have help and that's not me saying oh I can't be bothered to look

00:07:30.240 after my children it is but I would be there for the important parts though say if I

00:07:34.920 had it's not the same I do understand where you're coming from but that would

00:07:38.880 be the sacrifice that I would take I would want my kids to see a working mom 1.00

00:07:42.240 as well right but that's the problem that's the modern mindset it's about my

00:07:45.240 career and me before the family and I think that's like what what is so broken

00:07:48.900 down nowadays is that we all care about ourselves before the family and and to

00:07:53.400 have a family that's successful you have to be selfless you know our

00:07:56.820 grandmothers and our great-grandmothers didn't stay with their 0.99

00:07:58.860 husbands by thinking about themselves yeah yeah I do because mothers put

00:08:03.840 their child before ourselves when they have children when they don't have

00:08:07.800 children obviously you should be thinking about that ahead of time I am

00:08:10.620 doing by creating a career for myself to provide for the family that I wouldn't

00:08:14.340 want so as many of you know I was just banned on tick-tock and we are

00:08:19.240 demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to help please

00:08:24.660 consider sending a super thanks below every donation helps and it helps make

00:08:29.640 what we do possible

JustPearlyThings - May 12, 2023

Modern Woman Got Reality Check

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