JustPearlyThings - August 03, 2023


Modern Women @30 Don't Marry for Genuine Desire


Episode Stats

Length

8 minutes

Words per Minute

242.16605

Word Count

1,999

Sentence Count

1

Misogynist Sentences

10

Hate Speech Sentences

5


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 if my dad had chosen who i dated i wouldn't have dated any of them in my 20s really you know and
00:00:05.200 that's the thing like a lot of times girls will say to me i don't say to be mean but they'll say
00:00:08.960 oh uh well not all women are like that and then i'll ask them like follow-up questions about
00:00:14.000 their exes and their 20s like did your did your parents like them the answer is always no
00:00:17.840 you know they were funny a couple of them were funny or nice or yeah or yeah or if the parents
00:00:23.120 did like them she left him yeah so you know yeah so there's some people can be likable and not
00:00:29.520 sorry not dependable husband father material yeah correct and the parents see that yeah
00:00:35.200 and then we just say la la la i don't hear you i pick them anyway you just unpacked something
00:00:40.880 really interesting for a lot of guys listening to this need to be really careful about this
00:00:45.200 you're like well you know we were i was in my 20s and picking guys that weren't like a good long-term
00:00:49.840 you know secure option i was picking like this thing they got me with really what they did is they
00:00:54.640 got you sexually excited that's what it was i was there was passion and there was some attraction
00:00:58.880 there's charisma there's that you know that's exactly what it was and then you're you get and
00:01:02.880 now you're like well i wasn't thinking about this like longevity and this and it's like what do you
00:01:07.120 mean you weren't thinking about it i know what it means i mean let me say what what it means is now
00:01:11.680 you're thinking about it and so now you're having as a woman and this is like not you specifically but
00:01:16.800 in general women get to 30 31 32 it's like oh now i have to think about these things which means
00:01:21.360 you're rationalizing yourself into a relationship and the question i would have is is rationalizing
00:01:25.520 yourself into a relationship genuine desire no you do misunderstand me a little bit i've always
00:01:31.040 always wanted to get married and have kids and i've always been thinking oh yeah i'll marry this
00:01:36.000 person without thinking what does he earn what potential does he have to earn anymore does he even
00:01:40.960 want to earn anymore he smokes i don't even like smoking why would i marry someone that's my it's the
00:01:45.280 worst thing in the world i you know what i mean they've done drugs well that's like i hate it and i and
00:01:50.080 for me it's a passion so i'm trying to accept things that i don't accept and trying to make this
00:01:54.880 person into something instead of finding a man that is already right but he's saying he's saying
00:01:59.520 like again you're could you explain the bottom you're right i don't know what you mean i just
00:02:03.120 think you misunderstand i don't i don't i don't misunderstand it at all and i know exactly what
00:02:08.320 it means and you can't and you couldn't say it if you did so it doesn't matter that you would never
00:02:12.000 say i wouldn't settle for my partner you wouldn't say the opposite so there we can't trust those words
00:02:16.080 even though they're probably i want you to be right but we can't trust no it's like well you know i
00:02:19.920 wouldn't speak badly with my husband no you wouldn't obviously you wouldn't so that's fine but the
00:02:24.000 reality is you get you know women get to a certain age and they start looking at these other
00:02:27.040 attributes but that's not genuine desire right and so what happens is when she marries that guy
00:02:31.600 where was that genuine desire in the 20s it's still for those guys and by the way coming back to this
00:02:35.600 where did she go back to for that genuine desire no but sexual desire isn't what gonna is gonna keep
00:02:40.320 you in a relationship but it'll make you it didn't but it'll make you cheat and that's you know my body
00:02:44.800 doesn't mean that you don't sexually desire the partner that you've checked because it sure doesn't
00:02:48.240 but you can lock out and find somebody who is all of the things that you're 100 you're 100 correct
00:02:54.080 but so the chances of it are very slim though i got i got a friend he's worth about 120 million
00:02:59.280 uh he's 42 and he's single he's a great guy i'm real tight with this guy but he's single he's 42 and
00:03:03.840 he flies all the time around the world he tells me he's like i'm bringing this girl on a trip with
00:03:07.360 me i'm bringing that girl on a trip with me that's what these guys do when they're 100 million you know
00:03:10.240 before they're 40 they just fly around the world and take girls with them in different places right
00:03:13.760 makes sense and he's like oh i'm taking this chick but she's married i'm like what she's he's like
00:03:18.400 yeah we used to hook up like you know six seven years ago and then she got married but you know how
00:03:21.600 it goes and i'm like what do you mean he's like well you know she's married some guy he's a construction
00:03:26.400 guy he's a nice guy but he can't take her to dubai for a week and i can so she just says she's got
00:03:30.560 a work trip and she just goes and meets with me and i'm like dude is that normal he's like he's like
00:03:35.920 yeah like every chick i hooked up with in my 30s that got married is now like lighting me up on
00:03:40.480 and still like hey what you do and haven't you know thought about you for a while and and i'm
00:03:44.720 like so what does that teach you sir about you know the dating marketplace he goes i wouldn't and he's
00:03:49.360 42 now he goes i would never marry a woman in her 30s why because i know that she's not marrying me
00:03:55.120 for the genuine desire at this point she just wants to settle down now that might be an extreme
00:04:00.240 argument to look at it and i understand that group statistics don't apply to an individual but that's
00:04:04.960 a scary thing to think about and so i'm like so who are you gonna marry you're 42 he's like um you know
00:04:08.880 he's like i i think if i get married it'll be you know i'll meet a girl 22 23 it's a big age gap but
00:04:13.760 he's like but he's got 120 mil he's got the life like he's got women available to him at that option
00:04:18.160 he doesn't have to deal with the history that's his biggest fear is during dealing with the history
00:04:22.160 i will agree actually so if i met my partner at work and it literally seriously lucked out but before
00:04:28.400 that when i was looking on tinder you've got divorcees you've got dads i don't want to be with
00:04:32.240 somebody that's got kids already that aren't you know that you've got slim pickings at 35 34 so in that
00:04:38.800 place i can see that a lot of women would probably settle or no i mean yeah but you also you can also
00:04:45.920 see why from a guy's point of view it's like risky with a girl that's older because it's like more
00:04:50.160 baggage that he has to deal with more guys that he that he really has to compete with and rollo
00:04:55.920 tomasi has a phrase it's not the number but it's like the number of like alphas or i can't i'm butchering
00:05:01.200 this please don't rush me but it's basically like the number of high value guys that she's been with
00:05:06.000 because if she's been with drake um i don't know the ceo of budweiser like how how is you know tom
00:05:13.600 dick or harry going to compete with that gfg yeah you know she's always going to feel like she's
00:05:20.480 settled and nobody wants to feel like they settled in a relationship but men can live with it women
00:05:26.320 can't i think anyway do you think that's true well one thing that i that i really i'm very passionate
00:05:30.480 about like in our business uh we're in the suit selling business but really we recruit and hire young
00:05:34.160 men uh and and my pitch is very simple i hire young men and teach them how to make a million
00:05:37.680 dollars a year that's what i do in my business right our company you know offices 27 countries
00:05:41.840 across the world uh most of the guys that work with us are in their early to mid 20s when they
00:05:46.400 start we teach them how to build value and i tell the guys this i'm like don't get married in your 20s
00:05:49.680 they go what i'm like you're going to be working 80 hours a week with us just commit to that work 80
00:05:53.600 hours a week and when you're not working go to the gym why because by the time you get to 27 28 30
00:05:59.520 you're going to have a lot of money and a lot of muscles and then you can live the life that you
00:06:04.160 want and that's what i teach so it's like the the sort of what this conversation cultivates to is like
00:06:10.000 yeah we can talk about what's a high value woman but the deeper question is
00:06:15.600 how does a man get a high value woman because there is such a thing as a high value so how do you get
00:06:20.000 that so i want to ask you girls what do you think how does a man get a high value if you think you're
00:06:23.280 a high value woman how does a man get you and don't say lazy and funny
00:06:26.400 i think definitely every man should go to the gym because that's the first thing a woman looks
00:06:33.760 at you don't even have to be particularly good looking but if you're fit and you've got you look
00:06:38.160 like you can protect someone you've got presence in a room then that works straight away and then if
00:06:42.480 you're you have to be more than that so if you're funny it helps if you've got charisma if you've got
00:06:47.440 a good job if you've got drive um and then i think the soft nice stuff actually probably comes last
00:06:56.160 all the cuddly i think women can live without that i think you need it a bit but i think when
00:07:02.160 men start with that and that you know you go out with the nice guy and he gets you flowers but he's
00:07:06.800 not strong and he's not driven and he's not it kind of makes you feel a bit sickly that they get
00:07:10.880 you the flowers and they're nice to you all the time it's kind of too much yeah honestly and that sounds
00:07:15.680 but that's why nice guys don't get the go it's because that they because they have nothing else to
00:07:21.280 compete on it's because it's the easiest thing to to project but it doesn't require sacrifice
00:07:27.280 but it's not that because i was thinking earlier that if those guys just went to the gym and got a
00:07:33.200 bit more presence that's easier than trying to get those guys to be nice and lovely and you know and
00:07:41.600 potentially commit so you know we always go for those guys hoping that they're going to choose us when
00:07:47.280 actually they can choose from so many women and they don't care and they don't have any rush to
00:07:50.880 settle down why are they going to do that for us as opposed to sorry the nicer guys if you get a guy
00:07:58.000 in the middle it's kind of like a five across the board you can he can kind of like boost up a bit
00:08:01.840 and that that that's good