JustPearlyThings - August 04, 2023


Pearl Puts EVERYBODY On The Spot With This Question


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

194.0721

Word count

1,554

Sentence count

172

Harmful content

Misogyny

13

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the red flags to look out for in a potential partner and how to spot them. We also talk about the importance of a good relationship with your parents and how important it is to have a solid relationship with them.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 He's an eight, but he has a kid.
00:00:03.060 Depends on what the baby mum's saying. 0.99
00:00:09.680 That's quite a hard question.
00:00:11.920 Do you think that guys leave their baby mums? 0.97
00:00:17.960 What do you mean?
00:00:19.020 So do you think the baby mum would be completely out of their life? 1.00
00:00:23.020 No, and I would never expect them to be.
00:00:26.580 Do you feel like there's a chance to go back, sorry?
00:00:29.220 No.
00:00:29.900 Well, I don't know.
00:00:30.580 I'm single, to be honest, so I wouldn't know myself.
00:00:32.120 I've never been put in that situation, so I wouldn't know.
00:00:34.760 But if their baby mum was a bit crazy, you know? 0.94
00:00:40.740 Okay.
00:00:41.700 Probably no.
00:00:42.340 Okay, let's do a good baby mum and a bad baby mum. 1.00
00:00:44.840 So he's got a kid with a good baby mum.
00:00:47.080 Negative what?
00:00:47.760 Wouldn't bother me.
00:00:48.400 Wouldn't bother you?
00:00:49.280 No.
00:00:49.900 Okay, bad baby mum. 1.00
00:00:52.560 You're done?
00:00:53.580 Yeah.
00:00:53.940 Donezo?
00:00:54.420 Yeah, minus ten.
00:00:55.540 Minus ten.
00:00:56.960 Okay, he's an eight.
00:00:59.560 But, but, he's got a bit of a beer belly.
00:01:07.160 Is it a beer belly or a money belly?
00:01:13.360 So...
00:01:13.700 You say money belly.
00:01:14.780 Yeah.
00:01:15.100 Are you eating right or are you drinking beer?
00:01:20.660 I know what you mean.
00:01:21.820 A beer belly.
00:01:23.280 Minus ten.
00:01:24.820 Minus ten.
00:01:25.620 Probably, like, minus eight, yeah.
00:01:31.060 Minus eight, yeah.
00:01:32.000 For a beer belly?
00:01:33.480 Do you know what?
00:01:33.920 I don't really...
00:01:34.520 I'm not a big drinker and I...
00:01:37.920 Yeah, it's just the whole idea of just...
00:01:39.680 Oh, it's because he's a drinker.
00:01:41.300 Yeah.
00:01:41.520 It's not the look.
00:01:42.540 No.
00:01:43.080 So, no, the look wouldn't...
00:01:43.900 Probably about, yeah, six or an eight.
00:01:45.360 Do tattoos add or subtract for you?
00:01:48.760 Add.
00:01:49.340 Add.
00:01:49.640 In the middle.
00:01:54.460 And neutral?
00:01:55.400 Yeah.
00:01:56.080 What about you guys?
00:01:57.100 Tattoos on a woman. 0.99
00:01:58.140 Add or subtract?
00:01:59.560 I love.
00:02:01.160 Add.
00:02:01.720 Add?
00:02:02.200 Add how much?
00:02:05.840 Mmm...
00:02:06.560 I'm not saying that I look for it.
00:02:08.060 I'm not supposed to be look for females with tattoos, 1.00
00:02:09.980 but it's definitely...
00:02:11.480 Add some pointers.
00:02:12.560 So, maybe, like, one or two points.
00:02:13.900 So, if I got, like, a sleeve, I'd get a point?
00:02:16.420 Yeah.
00:02:16.740 Oh, okay.
00:02:17.100 One.
00:02:17.840 Great.
00:02:18.740 Go ahead.
00:02:19.720 Add.
00:02:20.280 Add?
00:02:20.860 Minus five to start, and then that's the minus starting point,
00:02:24.560 and then drops from there, depending on location and size.
00:02:27.460 What about you?
00:02:28.120 Yeah, subtract at least, like, two, three.
00:02:31.760 Two, three.
00:02:32.360 Yeah.
00:02:34.340 I think tattoos...
00:02:37.280 I don't like tattoos on a guy.
00:02:39.140 I prefer none.
00:02:40.320 But I don't really care that much.
00:02:42.240 I feel like it doesn't really make a difference.
00:02:45.120 Okay.
00:02:45.780 He's an eight, but, but, but...
00:02:51.420 He has a horrible relationship with his mom.
00:02:55.320 Do you guys care?
00:02:56.240 Yeah.
00:02:56.780 Yeah.
00:02:57.240 Why?
00:02:57.820 Why?
00:02:58.140 Have you had a bad experience with a guy that, like,
00:03:00.080 doesn't get along with his mom?
00:03:01.800 Yeah.
00:03:02.880 Once.
00:03:03.980 Once.
00:03:04.580 Yeah.
00:03:04.960 I didn't...
00:03:05.680 I'm such a family person, and for me,
00:03:07.700 family is the most important thing.
00:03:09.140 And if someone doesn't get on with their mom,
00:03:12.460 then there's obviously a reason behind that.
00:03:14.720 And for me, that's, like, quite a big red flag,
00:03:16.900 because, yeah.
00:03:19.100 No, I just wouldn't...
00:03:20.440 If they didn't get on with their mom,
00:03:21.440 I'd be like, I don't know.
00:03:22.380 I just...
00:03:23.060 I'm...
00:03:23.560 Where I'm such a family person,
00:03:24.720 and I adore my family around me 24-7,
00:03:26.900 like, I've not got kids,
00:03:28.840 but if I had a kid,
00:03:29.480 I know my kid could kill someone,
00:03:31.240 blue-bloody murder,
00:03:32.140 and I'd turn a blind eye to it,
00:03:33.200 and I'd still love them no matter what.
00:03:34.820 So if someone doesn't speak to their mom,
00:03:36.900 then that is a big, big red flag.
00:03:39.820 Majorly.
00:03:40.140 Okay, so you don't care too much
00:03:41.440 about their family, like, relations?
00:03:43.220 Not at the same.
00:03:43.900 I agree.
00:03:44.460 Oh, you agree.
00:03:45.160 What about you guys?
00:03:46.060 Do you guys look at her family background?
00:03:47.800 Me 110%, definitely.
00:03:49.940 Definitely.
00:03:50.660 What do you look at in her family background?
00:03:54.780 Dynamic is a big thing.
00:03:58.520 Like, with mom, dad, like, what do you...
00:04:01.940 Both parents and how the family functions together.
00:04:07.400 What's a bigger red flag
00:04:08.800 if she doesn't get along with her mom or her dad?
00:04:11.280 Father, for sure.
00:04:12.600 Dad, dad, dad.
00:04:13.760 That's how I feel.
00:04:14.400 100%.
00:04:15.000 What about you, Dimitri?
00:04:16.740 Yeah, of course.
00:04:17.400 So, you know, there's this crazy thing right now
00:04:20.400 where, like, you know, the Jonah Hill text,
00:04:21.720 I'm sure you guys discussed it here.
00:04:22.860 It's like, he sets out some boundaries,
00:04:24.680 which are pretty...
00:04:25.660 Like, they're not crazy boundaries.
00:04:27.100 It's like, hey, I don't want you going out
00:04:28.200 with your slutty friends, 0.92
00:04:29.300 like, because you've broken my trust.
00:04:31.280 People are like, it's controlling.
00:04:32.540 And I kind of read that.
00:04:33.660 I was like, okay, I think a lot of women 1.00
00:04:35.840 say that's controlling
00:04:36.860 because they just never have proper boundaries
00:04:38.760 set in their life.
00:04:39.520 And, like, I'm a dad.
00:04:40.200 I got four kids.
00:04:40.820 You know what a dad's role is
00:04:41.980 in a child's life,
00:04:43.360 in a girl or boy's life?
00:04:44.300 It's to set boundaries.
00:04:45.800 Like, you know, if you look at, like,
00:04:47.000 how kids go to bed,
00:04:48.380 if mom puts kids to bed,
00:04:50.240 they tend to extend going to bed
00:04:51.800 by, like, half an hour to an hour.
00:04:53.240 But when dad puts kids to bed,
00:04:54.800 they go to bed right away.
00:04:55.760 Dad's word is firmer.
00:04:57.020 Kids oblige and test the dad.
00:04:58.400 They oblige more to the dad.
00:04:59.460 They test the dad less.
00:05:00.400 So if she doesn't have, like,
00:05:02.060 a good relationship with her father,
00:05:03.260 she's grown up without a dad,
00:05:04.520 there's no boundary set for her.
00:05:06.000 So she perceives boundaries
00:05:07.400 as emotional abuse.
00:05:08.860 But are boundaries necessary
00:05:10.140 in relationships?
00:05:11.200 Yeah.
00:05:11.580 Especially explicit boundaries.
00:05:12.880 Like, we have to understand
00:05:14.060 what exactly works for us
00:05:15.900 and what doesn't.
00:05:16.460 And that's okay.
00:05:17.440 So, no, one of the best pieces of advice
00:05:19.420 I ever received
00:05:20.540 when I was about 22
00:05:21.720 from a mentor is he said,
00:05:22.900 look at that woman's relationship 1.00
00:05:24.920 with her father
00:05:25.560 and it'll tell you
00:05:26.600 how she treats you.
00:05:28.000 Yeah.
00:05:28.140 Do you guys look at, like,
00:05:30.200 how much makeup she wears?
00:05:31.980 Yes.
00:05:32.980 How much can that subtract
00:05:34.380 or add to a girl? 0.86
00:05:35.980 Make or break.
00:05:37.080 Yeah.
00:05:38.440 Like, what does it do?
00:05:41.240 At least four points.
00:05:42.940 Three to four.
00:05:44.040 Subtraction?
00:05:44.520 Yeah.
00:05:44.960 Why?
00:05:47.140 Because, I mean,
00:05:47.980 it's a preference thing,
00:05:49.280 but also it's,
00:05:50.340 you're almost dealing
00:05:51.460 with a different person
00:05:52.320 at that point.
00:05:52.960 like, you can look
00:05:55.300 like two completely
00:05:56.180 different people.
00:05:57.340 So, it's just a little bit
00:05:58.380 inauthentic
00:05:59.140 in my opinion.
00:06:00.740 Have you guys ever
00:06:01.320 gone on a date
00:06:01.980 with a girl
00:06:02.500 and you, like,
00:06:03.340 woke up
00:06:03.880 and she looked
00:06:04.340 completely different?
00:06:06.520 No?
00:06:07.040 No.
00:06:07.520 Fortunately, either.
00:06:08.100 I think seeing people
00:06:09.500 with or without
00:06:10.300 makeup
00:06:11.820 can be night and day
00:06:13.000 difference.
00:06:13.680 Yeah.
00:06:14.600 Unrecognizable
00:06:14.960 a lot of the time.
00:06:15.660 Really?
00:06:16.200 Yeah.
00:06:16.760 You're nodding really hard.
00:06:18.380 No, I mean, look,
00:06:19.360 like, women are going 1.00
00:06:19.900 to wear makeup.
00:06:20.580 Like, that's just
00:06:21.060 how it is
00:06:21.460 and there should be
00:06:22.100 a level that you
00:06:22.600 take care of yourself
00:06:23.340 but obviously, you know,
00:06:24.420 the trend right now
00:06:25.040 and, like, every time
00:06:25.800 I come to England,
00:06:26.480 I see these weird
00:06:27.220 puffer face.
00:06:28.020 Like, it's just fake.
00:06:29.220 They shave their,
00:06:29.860 I don't know
00:06:30.100 what the hell's going on.
00:06:31.380 They've drawn on eyebrows.
00:06:33.440 Well, I don't know.
00:06:34.480 I, like, it was crazy
00:06:35.680 doing this show
00:06:36.340 for so long
00:06:37.020 because girls would 1.00
00:06:37.820 follow me after the show
00:06:39.020 and a lot of times
00:06:40.020 I'll follow people back
00:06:41.020 but, like, sometimes
00:06:41.620 I wouldn't recognize them.
00:06:45.400 I'm like, wait,
00:06:46.020 is that the girl
00:06:46.560 that was on?
00:06:47.080 Because they'll tag me
00:06:47.840 in their stories
00:06:48.580 and I'm like, oh my God,
00:06:49.460 I didn't even notice.
00:06:50.800 But then I was like,
00:06:51.840 this is why the guys
00:06:52.580 are complaining
00:06:53.100 on the dating apps, huh?
00:06:55.300 Have you guys ever
00:06:55.960 gone on, like, a date
00:06:56.900 with a girl
00:06:57.400 from a dating app
00:06:58.280 and she looked different?
00:07:00.240 No?
00:07:00.720 I've been on a date
00:07:01.280 with a guy
00:07:01.760 on a dating app
00:07:02.500 and he looked...
00:07:03.420 High, was it high?
00:07:04.800 Do you know what?
00:07:05.480 No, he said he was,
00:07:06.300 like, six foot three
00:07:06.880 and he was about six foot three
00:07:08.000 so that I was quite pleased with
00:07:09.360 but he did nothing
00:07:10.100 like his five sides.
00:07:12.000 Like, at all.
00:07:13.280 Like, at all.
00:07:14.420 Like, there's catfishing
00:07:15.280 and then there's that.
00:07:16.520 Like, they were him
00:07:17.580 but I don't know why.
00:07:18.920 I don't know what he'd done
00:07:19.760 but it was, like,
00:07:20.560 from, like, ten years ago.
00:07:21.420 He was a bit older as well.
00:07:22.700 He said to me he was 24.
00:07:24.340 This is when I was, like, 22.
00:07:25.960 Oh, he lied about his age.
00:07:26.900 Yeah, he was about 35, 36
00:07:28.500 and obviously,
00:07:29.440 each to their own,
00:07:30.720 do you know what I mean?
00:07:31.100 Everyone has their own preference
00:07:32.220 and whatever.
00:07:33.400 I completely understand
00:07:34.120 and I completely respect that
00:07:34.960 but I was just...
00:07:36.420 Do you know when you're
00:07:36.800 just a bit shocked,
00:07:37.500 you're like...
00:07:38.300 What are you...
00:07:39.160 God, what am I going to do here?
00:07:40.300 Like, I'm too nice to run away
00:07:41.960 and then, no, I am.
00:07:43.980 Oh, I was.
00:07:44.640 I had to sit there
00:07:45.280 and withstand, like,
00:07:46.040 the whole two hours
00:07:46.540 and you start trying to go
00:07:47.120 for a drink after.
00:07:47.920 I'm like, yeah,
00:07:48.900 I've got to go home.
00:07:49.640 I've got to work to my own.
00:07:50.500 Sorry.
00:07:51.000 I've done that before
00:07:52.080 where you're like,
00:07:52.760 oh, I want to leave
00:07:53.760 but you're, like,
00:07:54.360 you don't want to...
00:07:55.240 Yeah, you don't want to hurt
00:07:56.060 someone's feelings.
00:07:57.080 No.
00:07:57.520 And it's like,
00:07:58.000 because I know I wouldn't like
00:07:58.940 someone to do it to me,
00:07:59.740 personally.
00:08:00.080 But...