Modern Women Ain't Getting Married ANYMORE
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
186.07191
Summary
In this episode, I speak to my good friend, about how she has built a family with her husband, a man she has been in a relationship with for 19 years. We talk about what it was like growing up in a broken family and how she was able to build a family. We also talk about the challenges that women go through in relationships and how to overcome them.
Transcript
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women go for attention now there was a video that came up I did cover it on
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Pearl daily this week that got me thinking about this and I'm gonna get to
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that but first I want to know what is the furthest you ladies have gone to get
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the attention of a guy yeah have you ever like pursued a guy like really
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liked him I actually prefer a guy to pursue me but if I have to see the guy
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I've actually gone into a club and approached a guy in front of my friends
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okay yeah I mean that's kind of the furthest I think I've gone in terms of
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pursuing a guy okay I like to be pursued okay have you ever like gone somewhere
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because you knew a guy you liked was gonna be there okay okay okay so yeah so that's
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what I'm wondering like it when you actually liked a guy maybe talk to him
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a bit was there did you ever like sim have you ever simped really hard for a
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guy of course women aren't gonna admit that though are they I'm gonna admit I have yes yeah I mean who has it
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come on yeah it's all right it's all right but we like to play it cool right we like to
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ladies like to even though half the time we'd be the ones chasing we like to be
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chased you know okay do you do you think we actually like to be chased if we
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always seem to pick the ones that don't pick us yeah that's the thing I feel
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like we always just naturally go for the ones that are just hard to get like and we
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know that they're players and out of our league what about that but yeah I mean if
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they were in our league they would like us right and and then you wouldn't and
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then you wouldn't like them yeah exactly it's that yeah it's a cruel world it is
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terrible okay so um but what did what did you do for the guy like how did you simp I mean this
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was I mean I'm talking years back I was like in a club and I actually ended up marrying the guy
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believe it or not oh well so yeah I was in the club and um those in those days it wasn't like it
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wasn't normal for girls to really got to guys but I was kind of like drunk and I was like I'm going
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for this guy and I grabbed him like like how the guy grabs a girl that is so brave yeah and that was in
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front of his friends my friends and then you guys got married married like years years how how how long
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were you married are you still married no no we're divorced how how long were you together 19 years
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what happened what happened life what do you mean life I don't know um we were young very young I
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never okay I never we grew up I never understand when women like say this like okay because it's
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like you're young and then you're old like what what switched I think when you're young you have
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different expectations you view life different you like different things then you grow older you
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grow into yourself you start to know yourself okay um and sometimes you realize that it's more
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headache than what it's worth okay so see I still I still don't understand what this means and it's
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not just you I've had so many girls say the same thing to me on the show and I just genuinely like
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like he got into different hobbies like what are the things like what you don't want to say are you
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nervous yeah I'm gonna say I don't want to say because it's like yeah you know you don't want
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to embarrass him that's fair you know yeah you're still here are you a healer
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are you healing healed you're healed okay what steps did you take to heal um I think I kind of
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just put myself first and just went for my dreams and done the things that I should have been doing
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when I was younger okay I have a question because this this doesn't compute to me when it's like I put
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myself first yeah how how does that help like build families because isn't it in a family we should put
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the family yeah the family first I mean when I say first I do have two children right they always come
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first okay so you put yourself second I know actually I put myself God first my children okay and then yeah
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so um I think it's in terms of just knowing myself growing into myself knowing what I like and what I don't
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like and being confident because I wasn't confident when I was younger okay yes I wasn't really confident
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and I didn't really know myself much okay didn't have a lot of um uh what's the word focus and didn't
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have a had ambition but didn't know what I wanted to do okay you know so I just thought the way forward
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is to get married had kids and that was it and I was like this can't be just life just getting
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married and having kids this just can't be it just sounds like you had it made you were I mean I
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still have it made yeah I always will it's it's it's living and learning so it's going for experiences
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and learning yourself learning life and I don't regret nothing like I don't regret having kids I don't
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regret getting married okay yeah I'll do it again okay good good glad all right hardest you've
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simped for a guy and did it did it and did marriage she got it she got 19 years out of that
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that's a lot of me to be fair can you one-up that or no I actually can't it kind of gets my age now
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right um I think the most that I did it's so embarrassing but it's actually something I
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actually need to speak about so I think the most that I did was I really liked this guy who was so
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sweet I made a private snapchat for him showing the good sides of me because he wowed me like we
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had a day he really wowed me like it was so nice and then I made him a private snapchat and he didn't
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view it or anything so I just ended up self-sabotaging the whole thing I just self-sabotaged the whole
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thing because I was just like there's just no point of me putting myself out there making a private
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snapchat for you and were you sending him like like like pictures like that oh yes I was even
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sending pictures of me and my cat and everything because he said he liked my cat so okay okay so so
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you made him a snapchat to like view your stories yeah he didn't watch any of it and then I kind of just
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clapped that basically he was just playing me like it was kind of sad to be fair okay um so the hardest
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you've simped is made a snapchat yeah okay so we got approaching him in a club and making a snapchat
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all right now I want to hear the men what's the hardest you've simped for a woman um I made like a whole plan to get
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someone back once oh yeah I wrote like a whole note and it was like week by week um but that's
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why um I don't really with women right now because you lot suck so so what do you with you
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you lot just suck you lot are heartbreakers why do we why do we suck that's a good question
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or voting I think that's the one I think you just stop um no it's just like the the more you give to
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a woman um the less they want you so yeah um I just do the opposite now and it kind of works okay
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disagree very disagree you would say that disagree no you would say that but why would you you lot don't
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get the psychology because you're you're the woman but why would you think you're you're you're in the uh
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you're in the vehicle why would you why would you think it's not a good idea to actually share your
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shed share share that stuff because because then women automatically think that
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you you're too emotional and you're not a man and that's not attractive to women it is it is
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attractive stop lying I don't like I like I like a man I like I said I like a man that's gonna send
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flowers you know okay you don't get such a ick that's that's you that's it girls like you
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put it might be subconscious but is this is this true or false women always like the men that don't
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like them back yeah that's kind of true that's kind of true thank you but then when they find the
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I think it's like more of a challenge like in life you kind of want challenges right yeah so when
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you do get the guy that you like and you've challenged yourself and you he eventually takes
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note of you then it's like you kind of then want him to soften up so you want to see right can i push
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yeah and then you like leave a little bit this is the problem this is why nothing lasts anymore
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well i think we're looking for balance there's no balance you guys are both single so you left
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every guy you've been with so these emotionally available guys where are they yeah that's true
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they got the ick and left that was it i grew up i learned i learned i learned the hard way i mean when
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i was when i was younger yeah i wanted you know a bit of edge but now i like i want soft life baby do you
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know what the problem is instagram and social medias there's too many options out there for people
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i feel like it's a lot of room to be deceived going on like a lot of deception is going on
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especially when it comes to social media yeah but you have too many options so you're like oh don't
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worry if that don't work out this next one but that's why girls get the ick so quick but don't you
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no me don't you have a lot of options me listen i'm just focusing on me at the moment i can admit i'm
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confused well most men don't have a lot of options one out of three men are either virgins or
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haven't had sex in the past year really wow yeah i'm gonna i actually i'm gonna get to you but i
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kind of want to show you guys something you're going to get to the virgin okay
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okay so we got all right we're going to get the women oh my god
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all right so would you guys agree that you want someone in general that makes more money than you
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in general of course yeah okay would you agree that you want someone taller than you yeah absolutely
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okay would you agree that you want someone smarter than you yeah yeah in general okay so now the
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problem is we all do so here's here's the dating market so this is going to be the lines are going
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to be sex because we're not getting married anymore so this is just sex so you know they have sex they
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so this is this is the dating market because women date across and up hierarchies because we want
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someone taller stronger so basically we're just all screwing these guys yeah and these guys are virgins
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so it used to be well they might get lucky sometimes they might get lucky they're there
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yeah they might pick like this like this chick might be like all right fine but he'll get her like
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once and then she's done she's like i'm going back i'm going back because women it's so funny we
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would rather share um we would rather be the king's concubine rather than the peasant's wife throughout all of
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time yeah if if a stronger guy came in and we're like trot we're like in a tribe we're all together
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and then you know um my bouncer comes in and kills these guys then boom now we belong to the bouncer you
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see what i mean yeah so yeah yeah because basically like if a guy if a guy like bigger stronger
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richer whatever came in you you just you were forced to yeah so that's why women were kind of heartless
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we just leave after no offense but after 19 years you know and and yeah so and the other problem is
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then can i say something yeah go ahead go ahead when i was with him he was down there oh okay how tall
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was he he's not that much taller than me i'm quite okay so hey but he was about six foot okay so that's
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top 15 percent of men okay okay how much how much money did he make i mean we were in teenagers so
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he no no now like after the 19 years like roughly after the 90 i mean he he made the most money in
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between i think i think he i think i make more money than him now okay okay well that's usually when
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women leave so thank you for i had a suspicion okay so so um how how much money did he make roughly
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when which one when you were together just give me a rough salary we started from started from the bottom
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now here no he still started no he still started here if he was top 15 percent of height okay at
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least so then how much money did he make what in between oh my god just just do you know just say
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20 to 25 a year i mean no one wage nothing okay 25 okay okay so a normal so okay but he was still
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above average in height yeah um he was muscly and okay so he was hot he was a hottie he was all
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right i made him into a hottie here now we get to the root now we get to the root of this
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yeah and so uh maybe you're gonna be watching this thinking why is this this is what the women like
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this is what we do we usually go for the hot guys when we're younger yeah and then later we're like
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oh shit i want to like have a better lifestyle so i'm either going to make money myself and leave
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or i'm gonna i'm gonna find a guy that's richer these are trends it's not every chick what about
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you want to find yourself well so many years with a man you forgot about yourself so this is the
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problem i'll tell you i'll tell you finding my this is what i found so here's instagram okay that really
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spins a little bit as well so here's instagram so the problem with instagram is they make all these
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chicks over here think they're hotter than they are oh trust me so they think so we we have this thing
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where we just like believe instagram so i've seen the trend of finding yourself it's like these
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chicks do these tick tocks like leaving their boyfriends and like moving to a new country or
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something yeah i've seen this and yeah instagram is like yes the streets are super fun and so the women
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that are married here right and they maybe maybe she snagged this might you know maybe she snagged this
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guy or this guy she was like all right i can't these guys keep pumping and dumping so i gotta stop here
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and and so now they get married here right but instagram comes in and basically and convinces her
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that she can get this guy now or this guy or maybe she starts to make more money then usually thinks
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she can do better or just make enough money to live without him um and so basically when women don't
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need men we tend to leave them for whatever reason we just tend to go yep leave them for more money is
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that our fault or is that them i would say it's our fault for leaving yeah yeah do you know what yeah
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old school relationships used to actually work on their issues and their problems and communicate
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this is why we shouldn't vote all right so what if the man stops leading a woman so what happens then
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if he stops leading on which a man is typically supposed to do well did you well did you did you stop
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following why is it always stop leading well well i i think you know i i think that's kind of an excuse
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because i think when you think of the most docile feminine women i'm not saying it's me but i'm
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saying like when we think of like the most docile women they're going to be led even if a guy isn't
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like the strongest lead how guys naturally lead that's part of who they are but what if they
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naturally stop leading okay what does that mean stop leading like being a man okay what does that mean
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just fall back this is what i find i find that usually okay it'll start start man because god
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are above the men and then the women this is just my beliefs okay so you know take this or leave it
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but i think usually when i hear that it means she's a really argumentative domineering woman
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that um you know basically made his life hell for 20 years and he just got tired of like listening to
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her so he just gave up i'm not saying it to you i don't know of course this is just this is just
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put it away because like usually a guy will tell you something and do you listen or do you accuse
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him of not leading you know this depends what he says well see that means you can't follow what he
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does see but it shouldn't depend this shouldn't depend when you when you tell your kids something
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do you say do they say it depends when i'm going to listen no i mean no they're just supposed to listen
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because they're below there he got ah so you're saying the woman is below the man so she should just listen
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yeah that's what he says if he says um you know just jump off a cliff well i think if he tells you
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i think you know i think there are some extremes right i'll give you an example when i'll give you
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an example i'll give you an example when i don't believe in birth control so i wouldn't if a guy told
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me go on birth control i'd be like look i think that's against that's true against yeah so so you know but
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that's what is it a pull out method what do you mean what are you looking i think when you get
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married you should just yeah all right i think you just you know see what happens so but um but yeah
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so that's what i think i think usually when relationships end it's the woman's fault
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yeah do you know what no no i don't agree so what if it's a situation what if it's a situation
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as you said the man the man not being the leader anymore what if he just lacks motivation what if
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he lacks teaching you better or bettering okay so how okay tell me like what motivation is give
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me an example um for example okay cool um i'm like oh babe i want to set up a cake shop um just you
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know to better us you can manage it but um i want you to like help set up a cake shop he's probably not
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going to motivate you or push you in the direction of you can simply getting the stuff of you know
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the cake cutters or i'll give you i'll give you an example with this cake shop you know men are more
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logical so most men would probably say that's a stupid idea they will yeah and that's the thing
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because women we're led with our emotions what's like fun in the moment right you know but men are
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just a little more logical so i think a lot of times we have stupid ideas and we bring them to men
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and they kind of like nicely tell us no but we don't take a hint but you guys can tell me if i'm
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wrong no but the other side of this is like it's his investment like he's investing into this into
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into your idea for a cake shop okay okay but maybe did okay did he say yes to the cake shop i asked them
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i wanted them to motivate me okay why is it his job to motivate you because he's because he's the man
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he's the leader not the motivator like well it's like he could motivate your children and your woman
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okay so why can't you motivate yourself i don't know because now now you're all a strong independent
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woman and you're finding yourself but why could you motivate yourself independent woman you want you
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want to but now you want to find just behind you but then now you know let's fix it you're behind him
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he's in front yeah he's a leader yeah he's the leader but if he's not leading for you or the
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children if he's out okay if he's out spending five days a week in the club okay and he's drinking and
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he's whatever and he's partying and you don't see him at night you don't okay he doesn't see the
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children what do you do then is he leading okay okay so then i would ask why are you with the guy
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that spends five days a week in the club that's why a woman leaves no no no no this is what no no no
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this is what chicks do this is what chicks do you pick a guy that showed you who he was
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and then we whine about it later so i say okay you you picked a clubber so stay with them that
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was what you picked well why is this deception that's when you grow up yeah who's more deceptive men
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or women that's not the point okay then it could be both ways actually i'm not going to say just men
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why do we have makeup fake hair you know fake bbls men can fake the hairlines nowadays okay okay
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who fakes their hair more men or women women but okay who who has who has men tell more lies
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what yeah men tell more lies generally just lie about everything yeah but women are more deceptive with
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their lies who who lies more men or women men i'm sorry oh no oh yes women are so deceptive
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what do you think yeah if you're not gonna lie you're not gonna lie hard who cheats better men or
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women women okay there we go that's true that's the truth yeah yeah but so yeah this is the dating
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market though yeah and these are usually so the the problem we get into is throughout our 20s we'll
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just either sleep with sometimes marry one of these two guys but then we get to our 30s and 40s and say
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i want something more long term and then we're like i'm going to pick these guys but then they're
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like oh no now i have a ran through wife i'm sad and that's that's that's how i have this channel
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thank you can i get some round of applause oh that was amazing i love this demonstration
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i just like to be appreciated um okay so simp have you ever simped um you've been married have you
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been married for a minute yeah 15 years i've been married 10 years oh wow so it's a little different
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now in the dating game right yeah yeah was dating apps around then nope instagram was it big facebook
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no nothing it's like that's like a whole different world right yeah to actually meet people yeah no you
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know that's the number one way people are meeting under 30 i'm gonna give you guys some stats the number
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one way people are meeting under 30 is online and it's crazy and women only swipe right on dating apps
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five percent of the time so yeah so we're really only screwing that top guy he's like he's really just
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he's doing well he's doing very well i think i'm like the second guy because i ain't got a lot of hat
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okay so you're the second guy almost there yeah yeah so so how how did you meet your wife then
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um i used to dance in a club where she worked so i used to be a break dancer and she worked behind the
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ball and one thing led to another okay and what made your wife like wife material she was just she was
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just different she was amazing she was cool she was just like a female me oh really you guys are
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really similar yeah can she do magic tricks too no that's what we did you got a t-shirt yeah i've got
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to keep some secrets and what do you what do you see that's like different um do you have any friends
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that are dating now are they all married no we still have friends who are dating okay and what do you
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like what do you see that's different now from before this is a lot of technology it's very and
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i think people are quick to end things and not give things a go like perhaps we used to but then
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you sort of like have a date that that we go next one because it's more readily available it's easier
00:24:00.700
yeah actually i have a question have you guys ever been in a virtual relationship
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sorry what's that like a distance like a dis sorry i don't even know sorry long long distance yeah
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i'm in a long distance relationship okay how how long did you do it for currently doing it
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okay does it how long how long have you been um a couple of years now two years so two years and how
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often do you see him um a few times a year lately okay what is what does he do he i don't know if
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he wants me to say what would we know who he was based on his occupation um he does a couple of things
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yeah okay so you see him like what five times a year no not that much we've only been together for
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uh yeah just something yeah is this your first like distance relationship it is yeah okay what about
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you um so we partly was together for like a year when he lived in my city and then um he moved back
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home so we'll like see each other probably like probably once or twice a month okay yeah so i found
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that the distance thing i don't i don't know about you guys but it's a way for the top men to just have
00:25:19.900
multiple girls in every city yeah yeah you know so anyways have you done the why are you giving away
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all the secrets yeah well i'm just i'm trying to explain how even more it's like expanded the
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the top guys just so that that is that what you do mr fuckboy i don't do anything do your friends do
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that is that why are you winking what's the i want him i want him on the secret i don't i don't think it
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was a guys he's he's joshing me i don't like it's like um what my longest was like a month between
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okay that was it once a month okay that was the longest yeah it's like that for me maybe
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just once a month yeah so i have a couple super chats um i'm gonna read these because they're big
00:26:04.540
ones fane matra an immigrant picking fruit in florida gets respect from his wife culture matters
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fane mattress says not bs most women are incapable of self-reflection and accountability you pick a man and
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we're not clubbed over the head you had choices the honest a-hole says a leader has to have direction
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to lead if he's not motivated to move into a specific direction then he isn't leading
00:26:28.220
let me refresh it and just double check there's no more it's just a couple but thank you it's a
00:26:33.580
hundred dollar super chat so we're gonna we're gonna clap for that one um okay so the reason that
00:26:42.380
i thought of today's topic which is what is women what will women do for attention is because um
00:26:47.740
recently there's an instagram model who um well actually what originally made me think of this
00:26:54.700
topic was i was in vegas and in vegas they actually made it legal to put nipples on your or like um
00:27:00.940
stickers on your boobs on your nipples so they would walk around like they're literally topless it's legal in
00:27:05.900
vegas and i was thinking about how it's like when women get the chance to like just get naked we just love to
00:27:13.020
i don't know what it is i was just like wow is that an la thing no no i mean i even if i go to
00:27:19.020
shoreditch at night it's like i see chicks half half naked you know what i mean and so i was thinking
00:27:24.220
about how a hundred years ago if you watch like videos of women walking down the street they're all
00:27:28.300
like covered from head to toe but we had less rights then you know but it was like when we got rights i was
00:27:33.980
like we just really love being horse it's just super crazy and i found out the stat that one out of 25 women
00:27:40.380
are on only fans under the age of 35 and it's becoming a bigger percentage of the workforce than
00:27:45.740
teachers that's horrible i know i know i was like wow we just can't it's a lot of attention
00:27:52.380
correct and so i was thinking about how um and i was also thinking about how modern day women are
00:27:57.820
the equivalent of porn addicts because uh we're so addicted i i think um attention is to women is to
00:28:03.980
sex is to men yeah because if you ask women you know um could you have eternal youth like there's
00:28:10.380
a reason you wouldn't say your age right i think most women you want to stay like 21 yeah correct
00:28:15.420
it's forever 21 not 31 right and so i was thinking about how women when given the choice like we are
00:28:20.300
always going to pick attention from men and we would pick it over sex like if you could have sex with
00:28:24.940
whoever you wanted or you could stay looking 21 forever most women would pick looking 21 forever
00:28:30.620
most generally where men would pick sex with the supermodels wow right right right so that sounds
00:28:37.100
like i think it's the equivalent and i was thinking about how it's like we have wives and mothers that
00:28:43.180
are like so addicted to attention that like we have these like thirst traps on instagram and you can't
00:28:49.180
even really tell the difference now between like wives and mothers and like single chick you know like
00:28:53.580
it used to be when you were younger you might dress you don't have a little leg and then like you get
00:28:58.300
married and put it away now it's it's crazy and i was yeah so yeah so this went so far that this
00:29:05.580
chick was an only fans model and actually died for attention so pull pull the video king
00:29:28.300
what happened next oh did we not get the they might have cut it something like i'm sorry no so so she hit
00:29:44.620
a pole so she hit a she hit a pole and then died and she had it she had a daughter wow wow and it's like
00:29:52.780
it's it's sad because it's almost like why do you think we have a society that people are going to such
00:30:00.220
extreme lengths to get attention as opposed to a hundred years ago where it really wasn't the same
00:30:11.020
yeah i feel like you know because like you know because like there's a lot of things that happened where
00:30:18.140
you know people were looking for jobs with what happened many years ago and um you know only
00:30:23.820
fans kind of helped out a lot of people i feel like maybe in her circumstances she probably felt
00:30:28.780
like only fans helped her such as with um her income and so such however like i think where she
00:30:36.300
went wrong is as a mom like she should have done better for her child by getting an actual regular job
00:30:42.700
rather than actually doing so much for money instead of actually valuing that she has a family
00:30:48.460
and eventually like the bigger picture is fairness she died but her child is her child
00:30:53.580
and her child's friend is going to be able to go online and actually look at her mom's naked body like
00:30:58.940
do you think it's selfish when women do that of course because why would you want to shame yourself
00:31:04.060
you know as women we're kind of like the bottom of the barrel realistically as you would refer to but
00:31:09.340
why would you want to shame yourself by putting yourself like online naked i think it's only
00:31:14.220
shameful because society standards but then wouldn't you rather instead of putting it on a place where
00:31:20.460
you can you know pay to go and see somebody naked and or do something with whatever they do would
00:31:26.460
you rather just go on porn where it's just free i don't know so you're saying like free and selling it
00:31:31.740
is different yeah what do you mean it's society that tells us it's shameful yeah like i i don't it's just
00:31:38.460
natural isn't it you think it's okay being naked but would you wife a girl like that though why not
00:31:44.060
i don't judge anyone okay each to their own that's it like everyone says everyone's all right hold on
00:31:50.300
you don't get me no no i don't believe you that's a good that's a good way of putting it i don't believe
00:31:55.660
you either yeah no i really don't do you do you do you consider yourself to be a more traditional guy
00:32:01.740
no yeah see but that's it because you're more modern like do you i'm just are you looking to get
00:32:06.700
married right now i'm so heartbroken and numb yeah yeah yeah this is why it's like you're um
00:32:13.180
you're you you started the show with a fuck boy like of course yeah but it's like of course you're
00:32:19.980
gonna say that i just i don't judge people anymore but i think because i don't want to be judged i feel
00:32:24.220
like it's no i i think i think we no i think we need to increase the judgment okay yeah i think we need
00:32:30.060
to be more more judged because i think when we stop judging women respond really well to social shame
00:32:35.580
so you know we want to be a part of the group and it's like why do we respond so quickly to fashion
00:32:40.620
trends like everyone's going to be buying my shirts now you know because i started this term but but
00:32:45.260
you know what i mean like we'll wear the stupidest outfits right you'll you'll see holes in our jeans
00:32:49.660
holes in our shirts and they're like why are you wearing that because we respond really well to trends
00:32:54.220
and social shame that was cute and so right but why do we think it's cute because someone else said
00:32:59.260
that i mean you know you can't you can't lie the extent of the holes in clothes now is kind of crazy
00:33:04.940
but before you know the little slits in the jeans like you bought one as many of you know i was just
00:33:10.220
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