Modern Women And Their Love For TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
201.97382
Summary
In this episode, we talk about toxic relationships and how to deal with them. We talk about how toxic relationships have impacted our lives and how we have dealt with them and how they have affected our relationships with our partners. We also discuss the dangers of cheating and how it can have a long term affect on a relationship.
Transcript
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um so what about you guys have you guys ever dated a toxic guy anyone raise your hand raise your hand
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yeah razor kind of yeah i mean the thing is though when i look back on it i'm like was it
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really toxic or did i just not know myself was i just not secure in myself um and i think also
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the word toxic is thrown around so much and you know sometimes when you're talking with your
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friends and they're just like oh that's so toxic but looking back i'm thinking we were both young
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he was just doing him and i was just so like you know i don't know i won't say it was toxic maybe
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on my behalf i had an unhealthy attachment but i i looking back on it i wouldn't say he was toxic
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okay so you don't think he was toxic okay and what about you mine was a hundred thousand percent toxic
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i just came to the realization as i was saying that out loud that he wasn't toxic
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i was just like i was just like toxic i don't know um yeah a million percent i think maybe
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in my i was the opposite in my head i was trying to make it seem like he wasn't um and i would
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always defend him like i'd be out here defending him to everyone my parents like my whole family
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my friends even to him like his family his friends i'm like no this is the guy for me even to myself
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like become so deluded because i was so in love but i feel like again this love bombing phase in the
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beginning like maybe i grew attached and fell in love with someone that doesn't actually exist
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um but yeah it was just the the the regular things of just being unfaithful maybe he just
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couldn't commit and he wasn't the guy for me but for someone else it may not be deemed toxic but for me
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when i'm with someone i'm very tunnel vision so if they're not the same like what type of toxic
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things did he do there was a few there was just loads of messages he would just go hot and cold
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like days weeks no communication i was with him so you're dating him and he didn't talk to you for
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weeks yeah he would just disappear and be like oh i just don't want to talk or he's sending little
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messages like i just don't want to talk and i'll be like okay when when people go through things i'm
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someone i give you space i'm not needy i don't need to be talking to you 24 7 you have your space but
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then it become a regular thing and i was like either there's something wrong with you or there's
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something up here um and i'm a big communicator so if you can't talk to me about stuff fine whatever
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but i will try and try and try but you know in the end i won't bug you um i found condom wrappers
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and i was doing the laundry you know being and they've been that good housewife and yeah no it was
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just a lot and i'd say it was quite damaging but at the same time you learn from it you learn what you
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don't want and how old were you guys when you dated the toxic guy only recently so 19 20 21
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oh so you're you're 21 when you dated him okay that was only like eight months ago okay and then
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how many how many years were you guys with him so he gave us solidly about a year and a bit and then
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on and off i'd say two and a half years two and a half years a year and a bit a year and a bit but we
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were friends for like really close friends for two years before that so okay and i'm curious did you guys
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ever you said you caught him cheating yes yeah not in the act but yeah yeah you caught him cheating
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i don't think he ever cheated on me but then i don't know at the same time anymore there's so much
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that i just didn't know i don't want to get into that okay no no worries um when you caught him
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cheating did you stay or did you leave i left okay but went back shortly after
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i left the house and then went back and forth and back and forth but yeah it's not a good cycle
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to be in 100 okay um would um any of you guys be open to dating a guy um that it's closed on your
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end but open on his or he would sleep with other girls no no no no ew not that i know about it but you
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might you might it depends it depends it depends yeah okay what about you no no um so i'm gonna
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tweak it a little bit okay um so for me um it's dating to marriage and it's not really dating is in
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a sense of how you guys would see it it would be we want to get married he'd be talking to my mom
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my dad my brothers getting to know me with my male family members involved um so i wouldn't uh
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sorry i forgot the question is it catching i was just asking if you would ever be open to
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dating a guy where he's able to cheat but you're not basically um so we would be married and if he
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wanted another wife where i am now um with the mindset that i have now um i wouldn't mind if he
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had another wife but this is not another wife this is being unfaithful but but but i i'm not i don't
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date men yeah so do you see what i'm so that's why i said the tweaking i don't i'd like i don't have
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a boyfriend and i won't have a boyfriend because i'm a muslim woman we don't oh you don't that's
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yeah that's strictly forbidden um so would you be okay with your husband sleeping around with loads
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of different women then i guess that's the tweak not necessarily having one wife it would be
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sleeping with those of other women no she said she said she'd be all right but no she said that
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what she'd be happy with her husband having another wife yeah yeah not a side piece yeah yeah so but
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you'd be okay with two wives who would be okay with a second wife anyone anyone no no no do you know
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what she's like she does everything except the bedroom i'll be happy
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um so you said no hell no and what about if it was just like casual stuff and then you're the main
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girl no why why are you ranking who's casual yeah yeah either one or none simple i feel like it's
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become normalized to normalize like people who believe in polygamy need to stay with them people
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they can't try and convert the people who want monogamy in life but they do and that's where
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this toxic stuff happens but yeah yeah all right auntie oh can you tell the story about when you
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caught the guy cheating in the one in the bedroom yeah oh gladly oh yeah um i've seen this guy for a
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long while and he's supposed to take me shop and he didn't turn up so i went to his house
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but we used to hang out with all of his friends i was one of the guys and then this lovely young
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lady i've heard of her i said hi and i asked where he was and she knew me because she's always
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upstairs now i'm not upstairs and he just sort of like and she climbed into bed and he was just
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and i was like and you can see him trying to i thought you're already in bed with her
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yeah i could see him trying to dissing himself and i said to her is that your man she said yeah
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i said hug him up it don't matter whoever's there you hug him up and she's like hold i said hug him
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harder she goes would you like a cup of coffee i said yes please and she went downstairs and he said
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i said what do you want me to say what do you want me to do because i'm not gonna hit her do you want me to
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knock you out i said oh do you want me to scream and shout i said i'm just gonna sit here i think
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i had lunch as well yeah i was like i ended up being her friend because i would hang out of all
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the guys and all the guys was like nah when did you tell her did you tell her she must be no
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now she's watching this oh i didn't tell her i was her friend he's a player i played at my mom's
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party yes i said are you coming she said no he didn't invite me i said you come
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until they split up until oh stop yeah you stopped anything with him oh no straight away yeah i stopped
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but it was just fun to go there i said go there when he wasn't there she goes oh he's coming home soon
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you know i'm just popping out to the shop so i said i watched dinner and i thought this is what
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you're having for dinner yeah yeah but i was nice about it and i didn't disrespect her you know
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and then one day i turned up and his whole car was covered in white paint i was just like oh dear
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what did you do you know but yeah he deserved what she gave him clearly where did she put all the paint
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all over his car gloss as well yeah you know what i don't have that in me i know some people have like
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ripped windscreen wipers off they've keyed cars they've done all of that i just i feel like i
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don't have it in me i could be so angry and upset but i just you do it in your head do you think if
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we flipped the genders that it would be the same reaction like if i if i if i said oh i cheated on
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a guy and he put paint all over my card and keyed it like people would have the same reaction of course
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no i think that's petty i think they expect the whole car to disappear
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a man wouldn't do something like that you just come out the car be gone no but it's if they
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want it to be petty it's just interesting because i i feel like if it was the opposite like if i said
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oh he keyed my car and did this after i cheated like it wouldn't result in people laughing you know
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what i mean yeah yeah i think he's pathetic i think they think he's pathetic now i think people
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would say that he's dangerous yeah he's violent or he's unhinged or abusive and police reports yeah
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yeah 100% women are there that was soft i'll be like i'm glad it was the car and not me
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yeah but i just think the way people are nowadays men are the villains in every scenario and
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anything that happens to a woman if you flip it on its head and it happening to a man
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it's always worse because women are saints we cannot do any wrong do you think so perfectly no i do not
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she said that tongue-in-cheek i see her smile i do not think so but i feel like society
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i just think conversations make it seem like that is the consensus as many of you know i was just
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