Modern Women Get DIVIDED On What's Acceptable as Beauty Standard in 2023
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Summary
In this episode, we talk about beauty standards in Italy and how they are different from those in the UK and America. We also talk about the difference between Italian and British beauty standards, and if modern women care about them.
Transcript
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Today's topic is that modern women don't care about beauty standards.
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So my first question is, what are beauty standards?
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And then start here, go around, then second row.
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For me, I think, you know, due to the nature of my job,
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I do singing, you know, I perform a lot in the public eye.
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So I think beauty is important in a way that you need to be confident enough
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for people to, you know, to see your talent eventually.
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I'm from Italy, so as you probably can imagine,
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maybe the beauty standards over there are just a little bit different.
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Who is someone that is the Italian beauty standard?
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No, I was just like someone you could think of.
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I'm going to look it up here just while he's doing it so I can see.
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You know, the typical Mediterranean type of vibe.
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I don't know if you consider that as a beautiful.
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But I think for, I would lie if I would say like,
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I mean, it's, that's, I think it's a lie to me personally speaking.
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But at the same time, I wouldn't generalize, you know, for different people, beauty can be different.
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I, for me, for example, I try and like to look nice without always being so up there,
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So that can be beautiful because you can, you know, let men guess what's behind.
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I try, you know, I knew that I was coming here.
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So I was like, I need to be in a decent standout.
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Do you think that British women, have you been to America too?
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What would you say, who is more put together usually when they go out?
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American women, British women or Italian women?
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Yes, because, you know, we are, this is why, you know, I say from the beginning,
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I come from a country where like, you know, being nice and looking nice is quite important.
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But at the same time, I feel like my beauty standards are not necessarily what the modern women,
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they want to, you know, say like, oh, yes, let's put, you know, boobs out, everything out.
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I kind of like, like to people guess more what's behind, you know, the surface.
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Would you say in Italy that, like, beauty standards are higher there or lower?
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Like from TV, you know, anything, you know, you can see if you're not in a certain type of body shape,
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sometimes can be, I mean, it's changing, it's changing.
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But I feel like that is still quite predominant that, like.
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And what would you say about, like, promiscuous clothes?
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Is that more, I'm just curious because we don't always get people from Italy on the show.
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So would you say that that's more frowned upon in Italy or is it more open there?
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The thing is, you know, with the younger generations, it's really changing because they're quite more into this Western world.
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You know, they're bombarded with social media and images and everyone is trying to impress everyone.
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But I would say, and, you know, people like myself or, you know, other friends or acquaintances, you know,
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we like to think that there are also part of women that still like to not impress just, you know,
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by I'm going to be naked tonight and I'm going to show, you know, how sexy I am.
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There is sexiness isn't being absolutely fully covered, I believe.
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Beauty to me, it's, I feel like it's within, to be honest with you, but I'm also half-Basian.
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So in the Bayesian community, beauty is being revealing and like, you know, you're, sorry, say that again.
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Oh, okay, so we usually are quite, you know, revealing and nails done, hair, makeup, sort of thing.
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Um, but yeah, as I said, beauty to me is, is within.
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And you can't tell if one girl is more attractive than the other.
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I can say, well, this person looks really good, and, but then again, this, yeah, it goes by its preference.
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Like, I might think this person doesn't look so good, um, where to others, someone else, they might look really good.
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Like, you think it's different for every person, or do you think that, in general, we can kind of tell who's the most attractive and who's the least attractive?
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Yeah, but when you say society, like, who is society?
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Okay, so you would say that people can tell who's more attractive and less attractive?
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It's people in the UK, but I think it's different all over.
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As I said, like, in Barbados, they would say Rihanna is what you call, um, you know, beauty, um, attraction.
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I mean, I think they'd say that in America, too.
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Yeah, but, you know, like, over here, I do think...
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You know, like, I feel like there's, like, preferences.
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Like, some people, like, might think one celebrity's hotter than the other, but they're all hot.
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So that's why I just never understand what people say.
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Like, if I look, if I look at Beyoncé, I don't think she's in comparison to, um, you know, to Rihanna.
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I think Rihanna's more beautiful to me than Beyoncé.
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I think my preference is Rihanna over Beyoncé.
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You could find someone so attractive, but they have the most shittiest personality.
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They're looking like they're ugly after anyway.
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Even if Beyoncé came in, you might say Rihanna's hotter.
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So who you might think's good looking, I might think he's...
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Do you think men look at women and say the same thing that beauty comes from within?
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But I feel like the ones that have been hurt, maybe, they start looking at beauty within,
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That's when you start hearing, what's the saying they say?
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Beauty beyond the eyes or something like that, they say, right?
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But you would say, in general, men do look at beauty?
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So when we talk about beauty standards, it's all about...
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What does that have to do with the beauty standards?
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That's like in a border right next to Pakistan.
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So it's a bit different, because we're from a village, and we just like...
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Women always do their hair, but they're very rarely wear makeup.
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They just put their clothes on to have their hair done.
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So when I look at that, and I'm like, beauty is from within.
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Um, I mean, I kind of have to disagree with the ladies to my left, because I feel like
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Um, I feel like everybody knows who, like, a beautiful person is.
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I feel like if a woman walks in the room, you'll know that a woman will be classified
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as beautiful if she has her nails done, her hair's done, her eyelashes, her eyebrows,
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everything is straight, everything is put together.
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Um, I feel like if another woman was to walk in and she doesn't have that, I won't...
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I don't feel like people won't say she's beautiful.
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I just feel like people will be more attracted and will look, um, to the woman who has
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So I feel like, um, and to ask your question about men, I feel like men, that's the first
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thing they look at beauty before they look at anything else.
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Um, and yeah, I definitely feel like there is a high beauty standard in the UK.
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For me, I, okay, I am going to say that that's come from within.
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However, I'd be lying if I would say that you don't look at beauty.
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Like you can tell in the UK, but like, who is attractive and who isn't.
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So to say that it comes from within, I think, yes, that's the general statement for anyone
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to make, because nobody wants to sound like, oh, they're being shallow.
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But realistically speaking, the majority of society are shallow.
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What, what metrics would you use to measure someone's beauty?
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Um, it would, for me, I look at a woman's, if I can strip back everything in terms of like
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the makeup, the hair, the nails, and to me, I can see her as beautiful, then she's beautiful.
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I mean, look, I think it's entirely physical, to be honest.
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I don't want to sound cynical here, but I think that's what people look at.
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I think it's nice to say it's from within and there's, yeah, sure.
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I mean, there's some truth in that, but I think let's, let's, let's be, let's be real.
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The dating marketplace, it's a kind of a jungle out there, right?
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Now that's not to say that you meet somebody and maybe they have a really obnoxious personality
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and you think actually I'm put off from that, or they've got something about them that's really great
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and you guys click and that adds something to it.
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There are, there are aesthetic standards and that's what people mean when they're talking about beauty.
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I don't think the standards are particularly high in the UK, but that's just,
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For men as well, for men as well, for men as well.
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Yeah, if you go to Miami, you get humbled real quick.
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Well, Miami, but also like Latin America, I mean Eastern Europe, all those places.
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It was like, all the girls were like literally stunning.
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I feel like, as she mentioned, if a woman's got her nails done, hair done, you've got yourself together.
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A man, especially a regular man in the UK, I don't feel like they would go for just a basic looking woman.
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Yeah, they would go for a woman who's, you know, got themselves put together, got their nails done, they look good.
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And yeah, I don't really agree when they said that it's within.
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I feel like if someone looks good, then that's what attracts men as well.
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I definitely feel as though beauty is an attraction.
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I feel like if someone's attracted to you, they're going to think you're beautiful regardless.
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However, I do not agree that just because you're well done up, that then implicates that you're beautiful.
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I think, yeah, I don't need makeup to define my beauty.
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However, you know, I do definitely feel like you have to be attracted to someone in order for you to think that they are beautiful.
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Do you guys think that beauty standards are higher, were higher a hundred years ago or today?
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Is there anyone that thinks they were higher a hundred years ago?
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No, because if you look back at old black and white photographs from the Victorian era, and then you look at, you just do a scroll for Instagram now.
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I mean, I mean like it's night and day in terms of, in terms of hotness.
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It's like to do with nutrition, it's to do with fitness, it's to do with the fact that we're all encouraged to work out now.
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Makeup, you know, clothing, there's so many different things, bits of surgery and procedures and stuff.
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I mean, there's so many different things that come into it.
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So I think, yeah, definitely overall, you know, people are more aesthetically pleasing now.
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It was probably only the rich people that were super hot back in the...
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I was going to say, I feel like things are more accessible now.
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Makeup, like it's, you know, less, I don't know about pricing, but I feel like surgery is more accessible to people and stuff like that.
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And I feel like that's probably why the standards are a little bit higher.
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Do women respond when beauty standards go higher?
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Do you think that women, do you feel like we step up to the plate?
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So like the BBL trend that's happening at the moment.
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I feel like it's going down now, but yeah, I guess we just follow the trend.
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I disagree a little bit because I don't follow like all the latest trends all the time.
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And obviously we live in this society where social media is like is everything.
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So everyone is bombarded with all these images, but it doesn't mean that I'm going to follow any single trend is up there because it's overwhelming to me.
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I feel like, um, I feel like all shapes and sizes right now, I might be wrong, are accepted.
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So, um, I just feel like for me personally, it's based on how well, how well you keep yourself and how put together you look, not about your size.
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Would you say men care or they don't care about weight?
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Do you think women are more put together today than a hundred years ago?
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You look at some old, some of these old pictures though, seriously.
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Like these dusty old like photographs sometimes you see, I mean, they're not looking good.
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You know, the ladies weren't representing back then.
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Those days were like, oh yeah, they're beautiful.
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It was like, you know, beauty is like today's like, oh, you need to be the perfect, the perfect
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But don't you think that one thing I've observed like here and also in the States a
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little bit as well, is that a lot of, there seems to be this fashion now for women wearing
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Have you noticed like if you go to a shopping mall or something like that during the daytime, a
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lot of women are wearing like quite baggy jeans, quite baggy and maybe less makeup and stuff, which
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sort of goes counter to that Instagram thing in a way, doesn't it?
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Because I think just looking around the streets, I think a lot of women are dressing up sort
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of a bit less, certainly during the daytime here.
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But then if you go to say Poland or if you go to Ukraine or something prior to the, you know,
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the war, you would see a very different sort of story.
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So I think in the West, it feels like, I don't want to say standards are falling, but it seems
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like a more casualness is sort of accepted for women.
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I would say I see more yoga pants and sweats than I did like 10 years ago, let's say, when
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You know, it was like, I don't know, because you guys are different about yoga pants a little
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But I remember it was like a fight on Facebook about if yoga pants were acceptable in public.
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I don't know if you guys have that here, if that was just an American fight.
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I was in LA recently and I saw there was a lot of yoga pants going on down in sort
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of Venice and Venice Beach and like places like that.
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So my question is, if beauty standards are higher and women respond to beauty standards,
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why are women more overweight today and we dress up less?
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In the 19, I mean, there's no stat on dressing up.
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But when it comes to weight, only 10% of women were overweight in the 40s.
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You got to remember back in the olden days, they had this thing where they used to wear corsets
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So you got to understand that as times, as society changes, so does the trends, I guess.
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But my question is more like if women respond to beauty standards and women actually cared
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about beauty standards, like why are we more overweight and we dress up less?
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But that kind of indicates that we don't care as much as we say we do.
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Like, cause we're, we're supposed to be under this immense pressure, right?
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But it doesn't seem like our looks are getting better as a whole.
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I think again, if you compare other societies, cause like before the, you know, the current...
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So when like in 2021, I was in, spent quite a lot of time in, in Russia and then, and then
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You do get a lot of women who are very elegant.
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They're still wearing, you know, maybe peels slightly less during the daytime, but you know
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And I think that's got something to do with feminism, to be honest.
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Or at least the, the tide of, cause society is telling women you, you don't have to make,
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why you don't have to make an effort for, it sounds very crude, but you don't have to
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Um, and, and I think that's got something to do with it to be, to be honest.
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You know, I don't think society is, and I'm not saying society should be compelling women
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Whereas I think in some of those other countries that are arguably a little bit more patriarchal,
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And also they have to compete with one another because otherwise, if you're the, the girl
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who's, you know, just, just not, not bothering and everyone else is, then you're going to
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So yeah, I think it just actually, you know, you raised a very good point because feminism,
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you know, with feminism, women's like, Oh, I can do whatever I want, when I want, how I want.
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But it's interesting because feminists complain the most about beauty standards,
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but it just seems like they care the least about them.
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Well, wouldn't their view just be like, well, I don't have to bother
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because why would I let a man dictate how I look?
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They'll say, they'll say, Oh, women have such high beauty standards.
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It's so hard for women because of the beauty standards, Instagram.
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It's like, if we really cared, wouldn't we be more put together and way less?
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I think it's because there's a lot of activists now and feminism, and they're trying to prove that.
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They feel like all women do what they do for men.
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But because there's that lining of doing things for men, a lot of feminisms now are like,
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they don't want to do it just because they feel like it's doing it for a man.
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Is it even such a bad thing even if they were doing it for men though?
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Because you get guys who work out because they want to look ripped for women.
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Yeah, it wouldn't be that terrible, to be honest.
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It's like, everyone wants to be liked in a way.
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It's like, if you know, if you like someone and you want to, you know, wear something and you think he's just like.
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Just, you know, you want to feel good, but you also, you know, want to be nice for other people.
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Who's beauty standards are higher, men or women?
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They see a lot of women and they now begin to compare, make comparisons between different types of women.
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And it's like when they see a particular woman, look in a particular way, is they would compare another woman to the woman that they've seen.
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But you think that men have higher standards for women, not that the men have the higher standards they have to live up to, just to clarify.
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So like the women have higher beauty standards to me.
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And that's what's making women feel like they need to comply with these standards.
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What percent of the time do you think men swipe right on dating apps?
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What percent of the time do you think women swipe right on dating apps?
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Do you think men are very like, if they've got a certain standard, they're more rigid than women.
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What percent of the time do you think men swipe right on dating apps?
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So men swipe right 60 to 70% of the time, where women, what percent of the time do you think
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What percent of the time do you think women swipe right?
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I was actually, I thought the male one was actually going to be a bit higher, to be honest,
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because a lot of guys, well not a lot of guys, but guys sometimes have this strategy
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before the algorithm started clamping down, that they would just swipe on everything and
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But how could you say that men are pickier if women only swipe right 5% of the time?
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Because they're talking about the top 1% men, aren't they?
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Those top 1% men, those chads, they're really picky, but that's all they're bothered about.
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They're not bothered about the other guys who aren't getting a look at anyway.
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The top 5% of men tend, what, what percent of men do you guys think are sexually active?
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I feel like it's not that much of a high percentage.
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I don't know the percentage though, but I feel like it's lower than women's.
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What percent of men do you think are sexually active?
00:25:54.020
God, I'm being very bad manners for your person, aren't I?
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I'm curious what, can you tell them a little bit about your experience like coaching men
00:26:07.020
I mean, I create content, I write, but I coach guys to get traction in terms of dating
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and the dating marketplace is very tough out there now for everybody.
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But, but you know, a lot of guys, they just really don't get a look at, you know?
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A lot of women think, oh, men are just, uh, you know, that it comes as easily to men as
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And it really doesn't, you know, because a woman basically, unless-
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As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily basis on
00:26:40.020
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