JustPearlyThings - July 07, 2023


Non Traditional Women Want A Traditional Man

Topics
equality in reproduction
Hosted by
Hannah Pearl Davis
Mentioned
COVID-19
Heated Debate on Women and Body Count Panelists Share Their Relationship STORY

Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

210.84

Word count

2,094

Sentence count

223

Harmful content

Misogyny

34

sentences flagged

Toxicity

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

25

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about what it means to be a modern woman in the modern dating world. We talk about how women struggle to pay for first dates, how to be financially independent in a modern relationship, and how to balance work and family life.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 You go on, like, a lot, I do a lot of online dating, and there are men who are like, hey, if we go on a date 50-50, we can go get a coffee, but if we go on an actual date, I want to make sure I'm not wasting my time and you're not there for a free meal.
00:00:12.560 So, go 50-50 with me just to prove that you're there for the right reason.
00:00:15.860 Then I wouldn't go, for sure.
00:00:17.440 Unmatched.
00:00:17.660 If you think I'm there for a free meal, like, dude, really?
00:00:20.300 I cook amazing.
00:00:21.160 Just come over.
00:00:22.660 What's the point?
00:00:23.700 This is real-life, like, situations and scenarios that women are going through. 0.94
00:00:28.740 Like, even there was one guy I met, nice guy, and I was like, okay, you know, I do want to go on a date with you.
00:00:32.820 And he said, just to let you know, first date, we're 50-50.
00:00:35.920 I said, okay, block. 0.56
00:00:37.460 Like, I'm going to block you because what are you talking about?
00:00:39.800 And then he seen me in person and was like, hey, you don't remember me?
00:00:42.140 I don't.
00:00:42.960 Mr. 50-50, I don't.
00:00:44.580 Please don't talk to me.
00:00:45.800 Don't try to get a dance with me.
00:00:46.860 Don't talk to me.
00:00:48.260 You're not the type of man you want me to let you leave, but I have to pay you 50-50 on a first date?
00:00:53.200 Come on.
00:00:53.780 I had a story where a friend of mine, she went on a date and had to prompt the guy to pay.
00:01:01.080 He said, oh, okay.
00:01:02.600 And she weren't going to go home with him.
00:01:05.460 So the next day, he messaged her for the money back.
00:01:09.080 This is happening.
00:01:10.740 It's mad. 0.99
00:01:11.720 So he wanted free sex in exchange for dinner. 0.98
00:01:13.920 I'll tell you those guys' point of view, though. 0.99
00:01:16.660 It's because you're not a traditional woman, right? 1.00
00:01:20.200 Because traditional women really get married before 25 because they spend their most fertile years focused on family. 1.00
00:01:26.720 The most traditional women want families first, right? 1.00
00:01:29.780 So it's not an insult.
00:01:30.580 It's not a bad thing.
00:01:31.300 It's just the most traditional women. 1.00
00:01:32.580 It's not the bad thing.
00:01:33.040 It's me.
00:01:33.460 Yeah.
00:01:33.800 The most traditional women get married. 0.91
00:01:36.060 They stay married 25 and under, I would say, roughly.
00:01:38.560 Um, so it's like, they're like, why am I paying?
00:01:42.760 Why am I doing the traditional thing when I don't get the traditional outcome?
00:01:47.680 But that's because it's like, it's like we wanted to be equal, right?
00:01:50.400 We wanted to go to work.
00:01:51.580 We wanted to spend our 20s in the workforce.
00:01:54.120 And then we do that.
00:01:55.300 And then we're like, all right, now treat me traditionally.
00:01:57.960 And so a lot of guys are just confused.
00:01:59.840 They're like, I thought you guys were modern.
00:02:01.980 But it's also the evolution of mankind.
00:02:04.240 Like a lot of people might look at it like, oh, back in the day, back in the day, this, that.
00:02:08.180 Like, this is the new way of doing things.
00:02:09.680 Everything has changed nowadays.
00:02:11.460 So I think that in marriages nowadays, you can have a traditional slash modern woman. 0.99
00:02:16.680 Because it does take some of the pressure and strain off of the guy.
00:02:19.740 You can say, okay, you want a traditional wife who's going to be home, have the kids not work. 0.99
00:02:23.560 But do you really want that?
00:02:24.600 Or would you like somebody who is 65, 35 with you?
00:02:27.600 You spend, you pay 65% of the bills.
00:02:29.920 I pay 35% of the bills.
00:02:31.740 We have the kids.
00:02:32.400 Well, do you know what traditional is?
00:02:34.340 It's one bank account.
00:02:35.500 He controls the money.
00:02:36.560 If we're really going to be traditional.
00:02:39.240 But most of the times, right, when the man works, most of the time when a man works in a married situation, he puts the money in the bank.
00:02:45.080 Who pays, who actually writes out the checks for the bills?
00:02:47.720 The woman does. 0.89
00:02:48.460 That's part of her household duty. 1.00
00:02:50.460 Right.
00:02:50.680 But I'm saying, I don't think most relationships are traditional nowadays.
00:02:54.500 So I don't think, like, using modern times, like, you'd really have to go back and, like, read, like, the history of, like, traditional relationships.
00:03:01.220 But the man would still make the final say on all the expenses.
00:03:05.080 So if she was spending money, it would be off of a budget that he signed off of, or, like, he told her, basically.
00:03:10.740 Yeah, but she's still the one who's dispersing the money, right?
00:03:13.180 She's still the one who's like, okay, this has to be done.
00:03:15.300 It's like, he's putting the money in the bank account.
00:03:17.360 She's saying the lights are going to be paid.
00:03:18.640 Right, but my point is, though, it's still, like, his decision in a traditional relationship.
00:03:23.460 It's still one bank account.
00:03:25.500 Like, it's not her money.
00:03:26.740 It's the money for the family.
00:03:28.360 That's traditional.
00:03:29.260 Because traditional is family first.
00:03:30.860 But then isn't it the gate to abuse if such occurs?
00:03:34.900 No.
00:03:36.560 So what is the safety as paramount situation with if he's abusive and then he takes away all the savings?
00:03:44.620 So she worked at home 20 years and he worked at work 20 years.
00:03:49.880 They have money together.
00:03:51.440 And then he decides to bang his secretary, right? 0.66
00:03:55.900 Well, there used to be protections for women, but we wanted equality. 1.00
00:04:01.940 So be equal.
00:04:03.600 Yeah, under COVID-19 law, you know, which is traditional or it's seen now as the enslavement,
00:04:13.040 the financial enslavement of women, but women did have a veto over major financial decisions. 1.00
00:04:20.540 So a man couldn't just go, you know what, we're selling this family home and we're moving
00:04:24.680 to another part of the country.
00:04:26.600 Yeah, she would have a veto. 0.99
00:04:28.020 Men also in the UK had a responsibility, a legal responsibility and could be imprisoned
00:04:38.600 if they were seen to be failing to keep their wives and children in like a state that was
00:04:45.980 reasonable for the amount of wealth that they had.
00:04:49.240 So if they've got their wife and kids dressed in rags, but they're like in silk suits and
00:04:54.300 they could go to jail for that.
00:04:56.360 But they could also go to jail if the wife decided to just go and splurge a load of money, 1.00
00:05:01.560 run up a load of debts that couldn't be paid back.
00:05:04.780 I saw the law recently there.
00:05:06.660 The writings is like the one in New York where they're talking about why they didn't want
00:05:10.520 women to vote because they were giving like the privileges that women had and they're 1.00
00:05:14.520 saying we don't want to be equal.
00:05:15.860 And one of them was like, you could, yeah, you could send your husband to jail if he
00:05:21.280 wasn't taking care of you.
00:05:23.180 So he literally was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:25.720 But no, no, we wanted to be equal.
00:05:27.640 So be equal.
00:05:29.000 Send him on it.
00:05:29.780 Well, you know, if you don't pay child support, they'll take you to jail.
00:05:32.400 If you have a child support order and you do not pay your child support, you positively
00:05:36.400 will go to jail until you have the almost like a bailout of a minimum of what you have to
00:05:41.580 pay just to get out, which is needed.
00:05:43.760 Because think about it, like men are just having babies all over the place. 0.96
00:05:47.340 No, they're not.
00:05:48.620 Living their lives.
00:05:49.180 Women are having babies all over the place. 1.00
00:05:52.260 By themselves.
00:05:52.820 This is, no, this is a women. 1.00
00:05:55.040 Again, if a man's getting more than one woman pregnant, that is the women being stupid. 1.00
00:06:01.520 That is four, five stupid women to one stupid man. 1.00
00:06:06.000 That is on the women. 1.00
00:06:07.400 But you got to think about it, right?
00:06:09.140 No.
00:06:09.640 Are you thinking about anything?
00:06:11.300 Do you think a man tells you upfront everything?
00:06:14.320 There's so, not so many, right?
00:06:16.200 But there are men who have to seek to it.
00:06:17.300 Did you introduce him to your father?
00:06:19.100 Did you introduce him to your brother?
00:06:20.340 You can do all of that.
00:06:21.320 Women will cry later when their friends said he was toxic.
00:06:30.000 Their dad said, don't date him.
00:06:32.280 Their brother said, what are you doing?
00:06:34.600 And then the women will whine later about the results. 1.00
00:06:38.220 You can do all of that.
00:06:38.900 When everybody warned you.
00:06:40.580 No, I don't believe this whole, the wool was over my eyes.
00:06:43.960 I had no idea.
00:06:45.580 You never dated a man that lied to you? 1.00
00:06:47.960 Every man I've dated that has lied to me was because I was stupid and did not listen to 1.00
00:06:53.520 the men around me. 0.99
00:06:54.820 And the only way I had better results was by realizing that and making better decisions.
00:07:00.620 But women just want to say nothing is our fault. 0.98
00:07:03.300 But what if your dad's not there?
00:07:05.100 What if you have no brothers, no dad?
00:07:07.500 You don't have a male to go to to say, vet this man out. 0.67
00:07:10.120 Well, then you seek out males that have your best interest at heart.
00:07:14.140 I know women that have been in that situation. 0.98
00:07:16.060 They get involved in a church.
00:07:18.060 I know women that have been in that situation. 0.98
00:07:20.020 There is always a way.
00:07:21.220 But how do you know what male is going to have the best interest at heart?
00:07:24.880 How many times has a woman been like, oh, this is my friend? 0.99
00:07:27.180 Well, the average age of first marriage is 30. 0.72
00:07:28.980 So you've got 10 years to figure it out.
00:07:30.680 How would you?
00:07:31.340 No, no, no.
00:07:31.620 What I'm saying is that how would you know?
00:07:33.320 You meet a guy.
00:07:34.540 Okay, we're going to be friends.
00:07:36.080 You're thinking, this is my friend.
00:07:37.220 This is my buddy.
00:07:37.620 He has my back.
00:07:38.340 And then he tries to sleep with you one day.
00:07:39.740 Well, usually I would say married couples are probably the best.
00:07:44.700 Well, yeah, but you can go to, you know, your church meetings or any of these kind of support groups that are full of men that are in their 70s.
00:07:53.700 You know, the likelihood that they're going to be.
00:07:56.060 I'm telling them about my sex life?
00:07:57.600 Is that a married man is not going to try to sleep with you as well? 0.99
00:08:01.040 Yeah, but hang on a minute.
00:08:03.240 I was literally going to say, I was expecting her to say, wouldn't a married man?
00:08:09.660 Literally.
00:08:10.240 No, no, no.
00:08:10.640 She's giving you like five different options, but you keep asking, but why, but why, but why?
00:08:15.540 This is what I'm saying.
00:08:16.340 This is a discussion that this is all about.
00:08:18.480 I know, I know.
00:08:19.100 I'm just telling you about the psychology of it.
00:08:20.920 So literally women really don't want solutions. 1.00
00:08:23.540 They just want to hop on about the problem.
00:08:25.980 No, there is a saying.
00:08:26.880 There is a saying that the most single men are married men.
00:08:30.060 The most single men are married men.
00:08:32.140 These are the men.
00:08:32.780 You know, it's a better saying.
00:08:34.120 Women want the married men and they'll chase them down. 1.00
00:08:37.480 There's a saying.
00:08:38.380 I went to a pickup, a pickup like boot camp.
00:08:41.320 I don't know.
00:08:41.620 Maybe this is what you run.
00:08:42.740 I don't actually know.
00:08:43.760 I don't actually know.
00:08:44.840 I, but, but it was like these guys pay to learn how to like talk to women, get laid.
00:08:50.060 I just like went to watch.
00:08:51.100 One of the instructors said that if he wears a wedding ring, he gets more attention from
00:08:56.040 women. 0.81
00:08:56.700 I believe that.
00:08:57.380 Yeah.
00:08:57.800 Women. 0.81
00:08:58.000 But if he has a puppy.
00:08:58.900 It's true.
00:08:59.480 It's pre-selection.
00:09:00.760 Yeah.
00:09:01.320 Yeah.
00:09:01.880 So it's like, I really think this is all projection.
00:09:05.420 Like the women are like the married men old sheep, but it's like, no, we chase after the 1.00
00:09:09.760 married men.
00:09:10.820 They go for it.
00:09:11.560 Right.
00:09:11.800 You have your own choice, whether you're going to go for it or not.
00:09:14.040 So if you're married and I'm chasing you and you give in, is that my fault?
00:09:18.400 Is that your fault for not remembering your vows?
00:09:20.300 It's like how many people takes to get pregnant too, right?
00:09:23.380 So how many people's responsibility it is?
00:09:25.360 No, I would say it's the woman's responsible if she gets pregnant. 1.00
00:09:29.040 Yeah, of course.
00:09:29.760 I would say, yes, yes, yes.
00:09:31.920 Of course it's my responsibility.
00:09:33.280 I choose the partner.
00:09:34.220 I choose the dad for my children.
00:09:36.040 And you choose your birth control.
00:09:38.060 I have to choose wisely.
00:09:39.580 I think until men have equal reproductive rights. 0.99
00:09:43.340 We have to put it on the women. 1.00
00:09:45.740 You know why I can't?
00:09:46.820 Because I really believe, right?
00:09:48.140 That women do nothing wrong. 1.00
00:09:49.380 What does equality do?
00:09:50.260 I think women do a lot of things wrong, but I also defend women. 1.00
00:09:54.760 I also believe in defending women.