JustPearlyThings - Panel Got TRIGGERED by this Question

00:00:00.000 if you refuse to sleep with your husband do you do we feel bad if you get cheated on

00:00:08.700 i mean why would first of all why would you refuse to sleep with your husband like what's 0.92

00:00:14.200 going on one out of four women do it i don't know what to say why'd you do it in the first 1.00

00:00:20.360 why'd you why'd you sleep in the first place what why did you have a sexual interaction 0.65

00:00:26.160 they're married it's there's a lot more build-up before marriage it's not like you just met like

00:00:31.860 oh right there they're no no but so i've talked to divorce attorneys about this like what happens

00:00:37.740 typically is um the woman they'll have two kids and then just stop sleeping with their husband 1.00

00:00:43.160 what what happens their libido drops they're just not interested what i don't i think it's a control

00:00:48.660 method i mean like because it's like they'll sleep with him if he does chores and now belongs to me

00:00:54.600 and i can do whatever i want yeah and i heard lots of women thinking like that yeah in a way 1.00

00:00:59.420 it's wrong yeah i think it comes so i've seen it happen in my surrounding whether it was friends

00:01:06.480 or family they had a great foundation great relationship five kids but two or three kids

00:01:13.120 down the line things started crumbling slightly and it's not because someone cheated or maybe they

00:01:18.200 did but they worked around it and they were still going and it was a decade solid example multiple

00:01:23.540 decades that i've seen solid and it just slightly crumbled over time and it could have been from

00:01:29.540 the woman's side from the man's side whether either side left it just they got they got so so my my

00:01:38.620 question is if the woman stops sleeping with the husband can he cheat no in all honesty that is a very

00:01:46.580 weird situation i i don't know that's really common i think it's known from both sides to

00:01:51.640 perspective i mean but then it's it's more common one way though so you're married right which means

00:01:57.940 for better and worse yeah right to death you part you've done all the the vows so you've entered a

00:02:03.100 contract with each other so ideally no one should be cheating everyone should be loving each other and

00:02:07.960 giving to each other what should a guy do if he if his wife won't sleep with him have a conversation say 1.00

00:02:12.840 hey what's going on let's sort this out because um there's got to be something that's not quite

00:02:17.880 right maybe she's just freaking tired if she's got five kids like this uh example over here you know 1.00

00:02:22.320 what i mean i don't know but like well should he get tired and then just stop paying the bills

00:02:27.060 stop working no no no what i'm saying is when when there's a when when there's a uh like a an issue

00:02:35.140 whether it's from the guy or the girl or whoever whatever they should work it out together

00:02:39.980 they're they're a community i'm saying she is not sleeping with him like she's refusing

00:02:44.480 but why give me reason like give me a reason and if she's like no no no then he has like he

00:02:51.560 technically yes because he if he still is desiring that he has a sexual drive and she doesn't then why

00:02:57.480 not if so if she can't provide it then you know but but i think they need to have a conversation before

00:03:02.840 he just says oh well forget you what can we do to sort this out if it's still not working they usually

00:03:08.900 do okay they'll usually have a conversation and she still just won't do it well if she's like 1.00

00:03:13.600 that then if she does he should be she deserves it that's what i say yeah but come on but he should

00:03:20.320 but breakup before like i think yeah but i you know if he gets to the point that you talk talk talk

00:03:27.720 it means the relationship is dead you know so there's no point to moving on with cheating or

00:03:32.080 without cheating it's a bit tough when she's gonna take half your shit and your kids a lot of guys stay 1.00

00:03:36.320 for the kids not for the kids i see a lot for them apparently women um lose about 35 percent of 1.00

00:03:44.100 their wealth when they leave divorce men are the ones that get richer they get child well i mean

00:03:50.260 typically men are the one that but the reason is because the reason i'll tell you why the reason is

00:03:54.620 because women are bad with money we spend more even though we make less that's why we get less 1.00

00:03:57.920 less wealthy when we leave but it's funny because we still get more money because we get child support

00:04:02.480 payments 90 percent of the time but isn't that because they predominantly live with the mother

00:04:06.840 yeah and it's sad because the reason is like they they punish men for doing the right thing we want

00:04:12.620 fathers that work and then they'll punish the fathers that work the court is very very one-sided

00:04:17.160 of course but i think in order to raise kids you need to be emotionally there as well you can't just

00:04:22.480 have one parent being doing all their emotional labor well i'm i don't one we'd have to define

00:04:27.400 emotional labor and two that's why 50 50 custody would make sense or if we're really if we're 0.94

00:04:32.580 really going to go off what's best for the kids single father homes fare far better than single 0.98

00:04:37.380 mother homes for just the family don't don't get kids if you don't want to have family and does the 0.99

00:04:43.660 money even go to the kid wow i think that's one thing that shouldn't even be a topic like it

00:04:52.280 doesn't matter where the money goes that's just it should go to the kid if it was a legal thing it

00:04:57.200 should always go to the kid a hundred thousand million percent to the kid obviously there's some

00:05:00.900 bad situations where women do abuse the system but we can't ignore the fact that you know this was 1.00

00:05:06.700 created for this or well i mean we can have the reasons but i'm saying look at the outcomes

00:05:11.940 and the outcomes is more single mother homes every problem in society is really it goes back to single

00:05:18.760 mother homes like um i spoke to a guy that works at the homeless shelter down the street i said what

00:05:23.740 why are these people homeless what's the number one reason single mother homes you look they're more 1.00

00:05:27.820 likely to run away from home they're more likely to have mental problems half the kids that you see

00:05:32.580 shooting up a schooler but you have to talk that most of guys don't want to stay with the kids and

00:05:37.880 they mostly say and the second and the other thing is that on court like i said because my parents got

00:05:42.280 divorced i was nine years old and the judge had to ask me and my siblings who do you want to stay with

00:05:47.440 and they would take it from a child right so most of guys be honest if you get divorced

00:05:53.760 and you have to say like would you prefer to stay with the kids or you think the reason the reason

00:06:00.300 i'm asking i'm saying the reason that men don't fight for i've done i've interviewed so many men that

00:06:05.780 are in the process of getting divorced and fighting for their kids the reason they don't fight for it is

00:06:10.140 because the system is so stacked against them it is very very unfair yeah it is i've talked to men

00:06:16.540 that literally had had text messages of the woman trying to get him to hit her so she was saying i

00:06:22.740 want to get him to hit her so i can claim abuse take off your headphones uh and and so it's like

00:06:29.080 guys don't want to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to not get their kid the deadbeat dad

00:06:33.040 thing it's a myth i really don't believe it but you're talking like about someone that has money

00:06:37.660 right many guys don't have money at all right so it's not just financial financial and that's why a lot

00:06:44.760 of the men that don't have money don't fight because they don't want to spend hundreds of

00:06:48.420 thousands of dollars just to not get their kids lawyers will advise them against it and another

00:06:52.980 thing i want to add because you asked something a question is depends who is the woman for example

00:06:58.600 and why is the reason we we get divorced who is the woman and then i will also decide if i want to 1.00

00:07:04.100 fight or not because as a father which i'm not but thinking i would like the best for the kid yeah

00:07:10.760 so if the mother was capable and it was potentially my fault or some her fault but she's still capable

00:07:16.580 of being a mother i wouldn't really fight you know makes sense it's hard work it's hard work looking

00:07:23.560 after kids but if she was a good woman then you would let the kids stay with her i would in any case 0.99

00:07:31.360 let the kids stay with her unless it's a really good reason not to well and the point is they don't

00:07:36.380 have a choice women get custody 90 of the time they do not have a choice so unless the woman's 1.00

00:07:42.440 bad right like it has bad sort of intentions or doesn't always neglect i'm saying i'm saying it

00:07:48.300 doesn't really matter because the courts are so one-sided like like a girl so if you're in a 1.00

00:07:53.860 relationship with a guy and you make one phone call you can get him kicked out of the house for

00:07:57.240 a year before you go to trial then you go to trial and what they'll tell you is oh why haven't you

00:08:00.920 been in the kid's life for a year and the problem is she can get a restraining order so if she tries to 1.00

00:08:05.600 if he tries to see the kid he gets arrested and then he gets punished in court they're like why

00:08:11.000 why haven't you been in the kid's life and if they're like working now if they're not even working

00:08:16.200 and they're spending time with the kids to be called a bitch why not working it's it's it's so 0.99

00:08:20.940 funny because we want men that protect and provide and then if they do it they're punished in court 0.91

00:08:26.140 it's like they can't win that is it's very high they'll say oh he spent more she spent more time

00:08:32.900 with the kid but if they cared about the kid why wouldn't they go off through out off of the

00:08:36.200 statistics that single father homes go far far fair better than single mother homes 0.99

00:08:41.060 men really really suffer you know in these situations and women don't really understand 1.00

00:08:49.520 it but they have really difficult time i'm not saying from experience but from what i see

00:08:54.800 it's like women have a lot of control nowadays in western society when it comes to this matter 1.00

00:09:00.020 and in the uk you get a free lawyer if you accuse a guy of abuse if he's been arrested you get a free

00:09:07.020 lawyer so women have like incentive to accuse men of abuse and you can kind of see what's real and 0.99

00:09:11.880 what's not by looking at who's who has um pressed criminal charges and it's less than 10 the lawyer

00:09:17.300 still works for the government he doesn't privately work for you unless you pay him

00:09:21.000 what the lawyer works he's a solicitor he's a public defender yeah like they say in the states

00:09:28.360 he doesn't work for you in your favor so he'll go based off jurors based off and the other issue too

00:09:35.480 is their number one client is from the women's shelters so if they if they win too many cases for

00:09:40.600 the men it kind of backfires because then they don't get clients from the women's shelters 0.99

00:09:43.800 it's like a whole money it's really crazy i'm doing a whole documentary on it it's so insane

00:09:48.920 in comparison to like uk and us i mean it's or just in general like nation like well i'm focusing

00:09:56.220 more on the uk because it's like it's it's definitely i would say worse here across the

00:10:00.680 board but the us it kind of depends on the state you're in um and i've heard ireland is like worse

00:10:07.160 than here but yeah i'm doing it mostly in the uk with a couple stories from the us

00:10:12.580 um i forgot what question we were even asking it's about cheating oh oh okay we're way too far

00:10:21.320 oh i remember um so you what no no it was the cheating i think if uh if you don't sleep with

00:10:29.300 your husband oh yeah yeah yes that's the one so so what you you agreed with me right that if a

00:10:35.380 girl gets cheated on because she doesn't have any reason yeah like if she doesn't have any reason 1.00

00:10:40.160 and she doesn't offer to her husband yeah what the husband needs as well what would be a good

00:10:44.800 reason for a woman not to sleep with her husband 1.00

00:10:47.020 what would be a good reason for a woman not to sleep with her husband that she just gave her birth 1.00

00:10:55.740 she doesn't love him anymore that's a good reason that is a good reason oh if she doesn't love him 1.00

00:11:00.900 anymore well then she shouldn't be with him right yeah no she should be we don't know why she's 0.96

00:11:05.840 isn't that a bit subjective like wouldn't you say feelings change every day yes you can hate

00:11:13.480 someone one day love them the next so then then should we not should we deny a guy sex based on our

00:11:19.300 feelings if they change every day i think that's fair should he protect us if when he feels like it

00:11:27.760 why so quiet i don't know i'm just asking i think fundamentally he should protect us like and

00:11:41.720 we but like i said it goes back to like you're one your communion you're together right yeah so like

00:11:47.820 you gotta give and take i just think the feelings don't matter at all no i mean if you're really like

00:11:53.360 you know having a bad day and all he wants is like to canoodle like you might just be like dude

00:11:58.140 seriously yeah i mean once in a while guys are understanding yeah you know but for like months

00:12:03.920 on end or for like years no that's just not right there's guys that haven't been like had sex in

00:12:07.920 like years in marriage yeah no no that's not right guys are pretty simple they're food banging

00:12:14.020 it's true it's true that's all you need what about you um i don't know why someone would want to

00:12:22.840 have sex with someone that doesn't really want to have sex with them so i think if i think if the

00:12:27.860 answer's no then that's that debate there can he cheat then if she says no i think he can ask for

00:12:35.200 permission to cheat could he just do it he shouldn't just do it oh i don't know i'm not an expert on that

00:12:40.820 maybe if the girl's not having sex for such a long time maybe she's cheating as well 1.00

00:12:45.340 you

00:12:50.360 you

00:12:52.360 you

00:12:54.360 you

00:12:56.360 you

JustPearlyThings - July 27, 2023

Panel Got TRIGGERED by this Question

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