JustPearlyThings - June 29, 2023


Pearl Addresses Her CONTROVERSIAL Cheating Tweets


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

203.07018

Word count

1,852

Sentence count

131

Harmful content

Misogyny

14

sentences flagged

Hate speech

12

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about cheating and why it's not something you should be tolerated in your marriage. We also talk about why cheating is a bad thing and what you should do if you find yourself in a situation where your partner cheats on you.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 And that's, oh my gosh, I have this controversial opinion. Everyone was hating on me on Twitter.
00:00:05.060 I don't think, I'm like, okay, cheating is not okay. I don't advocate for cheating. But
00:00:10.420 why do we act like it's something you can't work through? And I mean this mostly women, 1.00
00:00:16.100 okay? Because let's just be honest, cheating for men and women is different.
00:00:20.000 Yeah. Men detach a lot more. And we don't really talk about the men's side. Why did he cheat? Well,
00:00:26.620 you've been nagging on him every day. You don't appreciate him. You, you, you, you don't sleep
00:00:34.740 with him ever. Yeah. And you're crying and whining and, oh, it's the worst thing. Like it's not
00:00:43.400 something you can ever work through. And I just don't believe that because at the end of the day,
00:00:48.700 it's not about you anymore. You got kids. And I really think that if you can, you should be,
00:00:55.140 you should, and I even say that even to the men, honestly, and I know the men don't like it when
00:01:00.720 I say this, but, but it's like, if you can for your kids, I think the kids are first. Like what
00:01:06.240 did the five-year-old do? Right. Exactly. In this. So it's like, you can put your feelings aside,
00:01:12.580 you know, if you got to cheat back, sorry, that's not the right word. But like, if they're a serial
00:01:18.520 cheater, you know, I don't, but like, keep the kids out of it, you know, keep like, why do the
00:01:23.240 kids have to be, you know, and I don't, and the other thing is like sticking it out for the kids is
00:01:29.540 not a bad thing. No, I don't think it is either. And, but arguing in front of your kids and making
00:01:34.940 them a part of your problem is so if you can't learn to get along, maybe it would be better if you
00:01:40.400 could just learn to get along. Right. Well, that's the thing. Like, so when I told a couple people,
00:01:46.220 I was going to be doing this show with you, that was the number one thing everybody said.
00:01:49.620 They're like, are you going to give her pushback about the, her cheating opinions? And honestly,
00:01:53.420 I hadn't heard, like, I was like, cause they would send me like the tiniest soundbite of you
00:01:57.780 saying something. And I'm like, yeah, but I need more context. I'm guessing there's more context.
00:02:02.820 Someone asked me on a show if I would accept cheating. I don't wish to be cheated on, but I said
00:02:08.920 for the right guy, I mean, let's just call a spade a spade. If you're with a guy that you don't
00:02:14.660 think is replaceable and you have children with him. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm in it. Like I'd figure
00:02:21.500 it out. I like to think you don't know until you're in it. Right. But it's like it for the
00:02:27.440 kids, the children, let's just, yeah. Well, that's something that's going to get me in
00:02:33.020 trouble and don't, don't feel bad because everyone's always mad at me too. And everybody's I'm
00:02:37.140 always in trouble as well. Uh, and I would agree that if there's kids involved, yes, you should
00:02:41.760 make every single effort to work through it. And this is again, where if we had community
00:02:45.800 and people were in church and things like that, men didn't just like, maybe the top percent,
00:02:51.920 maybe those really tippy top elite guys could get away with that. But for most men, it was like,
00:02:57.680 you would get ostracized from work, from community, from your friend group. If you were known to be
00:03:04.440 like a serial cheater, like companies wouldn't want to hire you because it brings a lot of drama and
00:03:09.860 you're not reliable and you're not trustworthy. It used to be more stigmatized by the community.
00:03:16.040 And, um, that gave a lot of people a way to work through. Like if there was an affair, you could
00:03:21.580 work through it because it was like, oh, if this gets out, it's not going to be good for you. So if
00:03:25.640 we still had community, there would be less cheating. And if it did happen, it would be something
00:03:30.520 people had to work through. Maybe your priest would be helping or your family would be helping
00:03:34.520 to sort out what went on. But I do think what you said about men and women cheating is it is 0.75
00:03:40.040 different. They do it for different reasons. Women, it's usually like emotional and like, 1.00
00:03:45.840 I want to be paid attention to. And guys who want to get married women in the sack, 0.97
00:03:52.120 they blow a lot of smoke up their ass and tell them all the things they want to hear. They give
00:03:56.340 them all the attention and glorify and worship them and all that stuff. And so I think women do it 1.00
00:04:02.440 for that reason. And men, the number one thing I hear from men, if they do have affairs, it's
00:04:07.780 be, they're like, look, I didn't want to, but she hasn't slept with me in like eight years. 0.68
00:04:12.820 Like after, after our second kid, she just wouldn't anymore. And I haven't, you know,
00:04:18.080 I can't just go the rest of my life, never having sex. Like I didn't get married for that. And that's
00:04:23.080 a really common thing I hear. And I've gotten in trouble for saying, I think if you're married,
00:04:28.420 married, uh, I don't really believe in marital because I think that you should be being generous
00:04:34.040 and that you belong to your husband. He belongs to you too, but you certainly belong to him.
00:04:39.600 And you can't tell a man, okay, I want you to sleep with no one, but me for the rest of your life, 0.64
00:04:45.780 but then I'm not going to put out. You can't do that. To me, that's abuse. I think that's abusive.
00:04:51.700 And if a man is having an affair for that reason, it's been like a year and you haven't slept with him.
00:04:57.300 Um, that's your fault. And I know everyone's going to hear me say that and I'm going to get a whole
00:05:03.240 bunch of nasty DMS, but I think that that's true. And the other thing, here's the other thing that
00:05:08.480 irritates me when girls, all right, you go after a guy, you know, is a cheater. Now, how do you know 0.99
00:05:17.000 he's a cheater? Let's just, Oh, come on. He he's the top 10% of looks top. And like, like,
00:05:24.260 he had a girlfriend when you got with him. How often do you see that he had a girlfriend when
00:05:29.060 you got with him, but now that he's with you, you're expecting he won't cheat. Yeah. You're
00:05:32.960 right. And so I just don't like, like they get mad. Cause I'm like, look at the, like, let's okay.
00:05:37.900 The top 15, like most of societies have been monogamous. They have like, but the top 15% of
00:05:43.920 men have not. Yeah. So, so we still have monogamous roots. So it's like, you know, I I'm not saying
00:05:50.720 that doesn't happen because my dad didn't cheat, but my dad didn't grow up in a world where we're
00:05:57.640 throwing themselves at him. Like they're, you know, the, the athletes nowadays, like Jason Derulo,
00:06:02.980 that got so much trouble for Jason Derulo's baby mama or whatever was trying to expose him for cheating. 1.00
00:06:09.760 And my, like, and the thing is you have to understand men at that level, the women are
00:06:15.620 trying to figure out how to get them to cheat on their wives. Like there's women that go 1.00
00:06:19.980 to basketball games, football games, figure out where the players are, chase them to like,
00:06:25.420 there's a woman who literally would try, like her goal was to get the married men to cheat 1.00
00:06:29.820 and to say that a good man couldn't fall. Like, and that's what they say. Oh, they just
00:06:35.360 falled into some, well, come on. He's got a 21 year old that's in the top 10% of beauty. Even a 0.73
00:06:41.960 good guy. Yeah. That's true. And that's true. That's the realization I had with my dad where I'm
00:06:49.260 like, you know what? My dad isn't really in those circles, whatever. But if he was in even the best
00:06:54.760 men, I know if they were in a job like that, they're human. Like, yeah. Well, so like my husband,
00:07:00.360 when he was working full time as an engineer in this big factory, there were all these women 0.99
00:07:06.460 assembly line workers that would try to like, like they would come up to him, seeing him eat
00:07:12.720 his lunch and be like, Oh, I forgot my lunch money today. Could you buy me lunch just this one time
00:07:19.840 and I'll pay you back? Like trying to talk to him, trying to sit with him. And he would be like,
00:07:24.080 no offense. I have a policy that I don't talk to women at work. I don't eat lunch with them. I'm not 1.00
00:07:28.420 going to buy you. I'm sorry. You don't have lunch, but no. And they would get mad and like offended,
00:07:32.440 but he's like, I can see what they do. They don't want to like date the other assembly line
00:07:37.320 worker guys. Cause they don't make much, but they know that all of us guys in engineering make good
00:07:41.540 money. And a lot of them are single moms and that's why they're working in a factory. So they're 1.00
00:07:46.000 going to try to weasel their way in. Even if they know you're married, they're going to try to like
00:07:50.300 wiggle in there and try to compromise you or something like that. And the other thing they can do is
00:07:56.060 even if he's just seen talking to them or going to get a lunch with them or anything like that,
00:08:01.700 they can then accuse him of something and it becomes her word against theirs. And his job is
00:08:06.060 in jeopardy. His marriage is in jeopardy. His reputation is in jeopardy. He can accuse her,
00:08:11.000 she can accuse him of assault. So he basically does the Mike Pence rule. He's like, I don't answer
00:08:15.580 DMs from women. I don't have meetings with women. I don't do lunch with women unless my wife is there 1.00
00:08:21.360 or it's like a full on group setting. I don't do it. It's too risky. I'm not going to put myself
00:08:26.660 at risk like that. And now that he's got a successful YouTube show, I mean, there's been
00:08:31.000 people who don't like him, who want his channel canceled. They will send thoughts to try to get
00:08:37.880 in his DMs and see if he'll reply so that they can then expose him or tell me or something. So it's like,
00:08:44.120 yeah, men do, especially the more successful they are, they have like armies of hoes 1.00
00:08:49.340 coming for them. As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily
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