Pearl Addresses Her CONTROVERSIAL Cheating Tweets
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
203.07018
Summary
In this episode, we talk about cheating and why it's not something you should be tolerated in your marriage. We also talk about why cheating is a bad thing and what you should do if you find yourself in a situation where your partner cheats on you.
Transcript
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And that's, oh my gosh, I have this controversial opinion. Everyone was hating on me on Twitter.
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I don't think, I'm like, okay, cheating is not okay. I don't advocate for cheating. But
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why do we act like it's something you can't work through? And I mean this mostly women,
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okay? Because let's just be honest, cheating for men and women is different.
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Yeah. Men detach a lot more. And we don't really talk about the men's side. Why did he cheat? Well,
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you've been nagging on him every day. You don't appreciate him. You, you, you, you don't sleep
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with him ever. Yeah. And you're crying and whining and, oh, it's the worst thing. Like it's not
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something you can ever work through. And I just don't believe that because at the end of the day,
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it's not about you anymore. You got kids. And I really think that if you can, you should be,
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you should, and I even say that even to the men, honestly, and I know the men don't like it when
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I say this, but, but it's like, if you can for your kids, I think the kids are first. Like what
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did the five-year-old do? Right. Exactly. In this. So it's like, you can put your feelings aside,
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you know, if you got to cheat back, sorry, that's not the right word. But like, if they're a serial
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cheater, you know, I don't, but like, keep the kids out of it, you know, keep like, why do the
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kids have to be, you know, and I don't, and the other thing is like sticking it out for the kids is
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not a bad thing. No, I don't think it is either. And, but arguing in front of your kids and making
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them a part of your problem is so if you can't learn to get along, maybe it would be better if you
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could just learn to get along. Right. Well, that's the thing. Like, so when I told a couple people,
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I was going to be doing this show with you, that was the number one thing everybody said.
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They're like, are you going to give her pushback about the, her cheating opinions? And honestly,
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I hadn't heard, like, I was like, cause they would send me like the tiniest soundbite of you
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saying something. And I'm like, yeah, but I need more context. I'm guessing there's more context.
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Someone asked me on a show if I would accept cheating. I don't wish to be cheated on, but I said
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for the right guy, I mean, let's just call a spade a spade. If you're with a guy that you don't
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think is replaceable and you have children with him. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm in it. Like I'd figure
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it out. I like to think you don't know until you're in it. Right. But it's like it for the
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kids, the children, let's just, yeah. Well, that's something that's going to get me in
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trouble and don't, don't feel bad because everyone's always mad at me too. And everybody's I'm
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always in trouble as well. Uh, and I would agree that if there's kids involved, yes, you should
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make every single effort to work through it. And this is again, where if we had community
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and people were in church and things like that, men didn't just like, maybe the top percent,
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maybe those really tippy top elite guys could get away with that. But for most men, it was like,
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you would get ostracized from work, from community, from your friend group. If you were known to be
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like a serial cheater, like companies wouldn't want to hire you because it brings a lot of drama and
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you're not reliable and you're not trustworthy. It used to be more stigmatized by the community.
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And, um, that gave a lot of people a way to work through. Like if there was an affair, you could
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work through it because it was like, oh, if this gets out, it's not going to be good for you. So if
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we still had community, there would be less cheating. And if it did happen, it would be something
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people had to work through. Maybe your priest would be helping or your family would be helping
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to sort out what went on. But I do think what you said about men and women cheating is it is
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different. They do it for different reasons. Women, it's usually like emotional and like,
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I want to be paid attention to. And guys who want to get married women in the sack,
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they blow a lot of smoke up their ass and tell them all the things they want to hear. They give
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them all the attention and glorify and worship them and all that stuff. And so I think women do it
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for that reason. And men, the number one thing I hear from men, if they do have affairs, it's
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be, they're like, look, I didn't want to, but she hasn't slept with me in like eight years.
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Like after, after our second kid, she just wouldn't anymore. And I haven't, you know,
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I can't just go the rest of my life, never having sex. Like I didn't get married for that. And that's
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a really common thing I hear. And I've gotten in trouble for saying, I think if you're married,
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married, uh, I don't really believe in marital because I think that you should be being generous
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and that you belong to your husband. He belongs to you too, but you certainly belong to him.
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And you can't tell a man, okay, I want you to sleep with no one, but me for the rest of your life,
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but then I'm not going to put out. You can't do that. To me, that's abuse. I think that's abusive.
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And if a man is having an affair for that reason, it's been like a year and you haven't slept with him.
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Um, that's your fault. And I know everyone's going to hear me say that and I'm going to get a whole
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bunch of nasty DMS, but I think that that's true. And the other thing, here's the other thing that
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irritates me when girls, all right, you go after a guy, you know, is a cheater. Now, how do you know
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he's a cheater? Let's just, Oh, come on. He he's the top 10% of looks top. And like, like,
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he had a girlfriend when you got with him. How often do you see that he had a girlfriend when
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you got with him, but now that he's with you, you're expecting he won't cheat. Yeah. You're
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right. And so I just don't like, like they get mad. Cause I'm like, look at the, like, let's okay.
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The top 15, like most of societies have been monogamous. They have like, but the top 15% of
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men have not. Yeah. So, so we still have monogamous roots. So it's like, you know, I I'm not saying
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that doesn't happen because my dad didn't cheat, but my dad didn't grow up in a world where we're
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throwing themselves at him. Like they're, you know, the, the athletes nowadays, like Jason Derulo,
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that got so much trouble for Jason Derulo's baby mama or whatever was trying to expose him for cheating.
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And my, like, and the thing is you have to understand men at that level, the women are
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trying to figure out how to get them to cheat on their wives. Like there's women that go
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to basketball games, football games, figure out where the players are, chase them to like,
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there's a woman who literally would try, like her goal was to get the married men to cheat
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and to say that a good man couldn't fall. Like, and that's what they say. Oh, they just
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falled into some, well, come on. He's got a 21 year old that's in the top 10% of beauty. Even a
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good guy. Yeah. That's true. And that's true. That's the realization I had with my dad where I'm
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like, you know what? My dad isn't really in those circles, whatever. But if he was in even the best
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men, I know if they were in a job like that, they're human. Like, yeah. Well, so like my husband,
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when he was working full time as an engineer in this big factory, there were all these women
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assembly line workers that would try to like, like they would come up to him, seeing him eat
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his lunch and be like, Oh, I forgot my lunch money today. Could you buy me lunch just this one time
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and I'll pay you back? Like trying to talk to him, trying to sit with him. And he would be like,
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no offense. I have a policy that I don't talk to women at work. I don't eat lunch with them. I'm not
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going to buy you. I'm sorry. You don't have lunch, but no. And they would get mad and like offended,
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but he's like, I can see what they do. They don't want to like date the other assembly line
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worker guys. Cause they don't make much, but they know that all of us guys in engineering make good
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money. And a lot of them are single moms and that's why they're working in a factory. So they're
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going to try to weasel their way in. Even if they know you're married, they're going to try to like
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wiggle in there and try to compromise you or something like that. And the other thing they can do is
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even if he's just seen talking to them or going to get a lunch with them or anything like that,
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they can then accuse him of something and it becomes her word against theirs. And his job is
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in jeopardy. His marriage is in jeopardy. His reputation is in jeopardy. He can accuse her,
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she can accuse him of assault. So he basically does the Mike Pence rule. He's like, I don't answer
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DMs from women. I don't have meetings with women. I don't do lunch with women unless my wife is there
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or it's like a full on group setting. I don't do it. It's too risky. I'm not going to put myself
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at risk like that. And now that he's got a successful YouTube show, I mean, there's been
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people who don't like him, who want his channel canceled. They will send thoughts to try to get
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in his DMs and see if he'll reply so that they can then expose him or tell me or something. So it's like,
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yeah, men do, especially the more successful they are, they have like armies of hoes
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coming for them. As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok and we are demonetized on a daily
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