JustPearlyThings - March 26, 2023


Pearl Asks What Women Look For In Men


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

186.25105

Word count

1,687

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Misogyny

6

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about what we look for in a man and what we want in a partner and how to find a man who is emotionally available. We also talk about the double standard of women being virgins and men being providers.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 have you dated guys that weren't emotionally available before or emotional i forgot what
00:00:05.240 words you said exactly but something like that you just mentioned it a couple times i was just
00:00:09.960 i think there are lots of emotionally unavailable men out there because um it's everything has to
00:00:16.480 do with i think traumas and things they they've been experiencing in life so if a man is emotionally
00:00:22.660 unavailable it's just because it went maybe through something that is not capable of
00:00:27.760 you might feel something but it's just not capable to just put everything out there
00:00:32.040 um not saying that everyone is like that but i think a lot of people i mean again talking with
00:00:38.560 a lot of friends and people they are all saying men they don't want to commit you know they don't
00:00:43.500 want to see the long term they always but i feel also like maybe we need to look at ourselves and
00:00:48.860 say like what's wrong with me why is this not working and trying to fix you know things uh what
00:00:56.120 about you what do you look for in a guy what are you um ambition again emotional support as well
00:01:02.460 because i feel like a lot of men do not know how to give emotional support and when you do question
00:01:08.000 it they end up arguing with you or backing away um again like she said because of traumas and
00:01:15.820 stuff that goes like wrong in their life and then they bring it into the relationship
00:01:20.260 from past experiences or being cheated on um so i think it is it's very tough to find that um
00:01:28.140 so what else um someone so you said ambitious um can we put a dollar amount to it is there a money
00:01:35.280 how much because how old did you say you were 32 so how what old is the guy roughly how old yeah do
00:01:43.100 you want him to be um my age and i'll say up to the age of 40 okay so let's say he's 40 okay how much
00:01:51.860 does he have to be making roughly um i just think he just needs to be able to be a provider um especially
00:02:00.880 if you're going into relationship you it's because i'm quite old school so i think a woman should play 0.98
00:02:06.380 their role and the manager played their role um so if you're able to provide and you know pay um
00:02:13.400 like sorry run the household then then it's okay i don't think it how much does that cost
00:02:18.980 well that depends on where you're living you could be living outside of london inside of london it
00:02:25.220 that all depends um it's how many bedrooms you have it yeah it really all depends
00:02:31.260 a rough could i get a rough number um i don't know um maybe about 40 40 that's like 50 i'm american
00:02:44.760 so 55 000 that's like average salary right yeah okay that's not bad so average salary what else
00:02:50.760 40 30 30 to 40 roughly is what you said yeah your age or um average salary what else
00:02:58.200 um yeah so you need to be be able to support me emotionally as well um again you need to
00:03:06.380 you know have some sort of attraction there that's it really what about height how tall oh you need
00:03:15.500 to be you need to be taller you need to be taller than me how tall are you i'm five six okay so five
00:03:20.280 six is good about five seven five seven and up okay yeah so that's it it doesn't sound
00:03:28.100 that hard it doesn't sound that hard to find it's really difficult a five seven guy making
00:03:32.600 forty thousand dollars a year yeah that's emotionally available it doesn't seem that hard it is very
00:03:38.600 hard i just feel like yeah a lot of guys are just not there anymore they have just very big in their
00:03:46.580 minds elsewhere to be honest it's just interesting 40 like you said you you're old school right yeah do
00:03:55.200 you think that women should be virgins the same way that men should be providers no why isn't that a 0.55
00:04:01.520 double double standard because like if we expect them to be traditional providers shouldn't we be
00:04:07.100 traditional virgins yeah but again i am old school but you have to know that this is the modern world
00:04:13.840 as well so that's not really gonna happen so wouldn't you say the same thing with that provider guy
00:04:18.400 like oh it's not gonna happen you need two incomes to survive to set an aspect yeah yeah okay what do
00:04:27.080 you look for god a man that can support me like i can support him and that doesn't just mean money
00:04:33.220 i'm talking about generally and stuff that i like to do support me in what i like to do and i'm very big
00:04:41.180 god supporting a man as well like i love to give them the encouragement and be their cheerleader and
00:04:48.920 i just want the same and being able to see a future with that person and us having the same goals which
00:04:55.780 means a family um building a house together would he be a great father figure i wouldn't know unless he
00:05:04.100 has kids already um loving me just having a lovable home yes he has to work because i'm not having a
00:05:13.500 man doesn't work because i work so we both have to work um i'm not really bothered about i'm happy to go
00:05:21.740 50 50 if i have to you know i mean you can pay the mortgage and i could pay for the gas and electric
00:05:29.420 you know i'm aware of that too but that that's what i want and emotional support yeah we do need
00:05:35.540 emotional support because a lot of men these days which you don't realize they need emotional support
00:05:39.860 so why can't we get it who do you think is more emotionally unstable men or women i think men are now
00:05:46.580 i would have said women before but i feel like maybe yeah i think women oh my gosh i feel like men are now
00:05:58.100 no no you see tick tock that's all it is it's emotionally unstable women 1.00
00:06:03.660 yeah my boy all these girls crying on i'm like what is going on i haven't seen a guy crying on
00:06:11.040 tick tock because they do it behind closed doors i feel like men hide their feelings as well
00:06:15.720 yeah men don't really like to show how they're feeling compared to women but don't you think
00:06:20.520 that's just how men process emotions like they process emotions differently than women yeah they do
00:06:25.160 but not all men but but in general right because we always make it sound like a bad thing that men
00:06:30.340 don't like talk to each other or like talk to us about their emotions but i just think they process
00:06:35.420 emotions differently differently yeah they do compared to women but it's like sometimes we try to make them 1.00
00:06:41.380 into women by being like process the emotions like i process the emotions true i think they need to
00:06:46.320 because there is a lot of men that have mental health at the moment so i think they do need to be able
00:06:51.160 to talk about their feelings yeah but not with women yeah yeah why not um honestly because women
00:06:59.320 throw stuff in your face later i agree yeah what they do is they'll throw something in your face and
00:07:07.000 then they'll add lies to it so it'll be kind of true but kind of not true but not all women not all 0.94
00:07:11.760 women i mean i didn't say 100 percent of women but i'm just saying if i had a balance of probabilities 0.81
00:07:15.900 and i had 10 guys and 10 girls i would say that women are more likely to do that yeah the other 1.00
00:07:20.640 problem is i don't think women find it very attractive when guys are emotionally vulnerable
00:07:25.040 to be honest i mean i think because when i was growing up it was said you know people were
00:07:29.520 starting to say oh you know just be open with your feelings be vulnerable be emotional with her and
00:07:33.060 everything like that but actually the reality out there is that i don't think women really 1.00
00:07:36.540 you know i feel like it depends for example me personally i would want a guy to open up to me
00:07:41.780 and let me know how they're feeling what if he's crying every night no not every night
00:07:46.260 that's why it's like confusing to men because we'll be like be open with us oh but not too open
00:07:52.580 yeah so if you want to cry every day put that put that down so it's kind of like what at what point
00:08:00.820 with each girl is emotionally available enough emotionally open enough
00:08:05.140 um i feel like it depends um if i was to be in a relationship with a guy and we've gotten to that
00:08:13.480 level where we're comfortable to open up to each other then i don't think it would be an issue for
00:08:17.900 him to if he was to cry to me every night you know maybe there could be something i can do to help
00:08:23.060 him me personally anyways i don't see that for how long he doesn't cry a year
00:08:27.480 a year is too much i mean that would be too much for a man or a woman though and i feel like realistically
00:08:32.880 a man's not going to cry to you for a year you know i feel like that would be too much either way
00:08:38.160 if it's a man that's crying for a year that's a problem if it's a woman that's crying for a year
00:08:41.280 that's a problem i think a month straight that'd be too much for me
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