Pearl DESTROYED Feminist for Saying This
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Summary
In this episode, we talk about therapy, trauma, and unhealed baggage. We also talk about why we should stop whining about our problems and just get over it! Thank you so much to Penelope for being a part of this episode and for sharing her story.
Transcript
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personally i've tried therapy and i've and the first time i tried it i walked out in an anger
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and rage i was like fuming and the second time i told her look it's not gonna work i don't think
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you can fix my problems i agree with you i've been to therapists before and i just thought therapy
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was like stupid for the most part and now i'm in school for psychology and i see the women that are
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therapists and they're nuts i would not go to therapy yeah i feel like they don't care they're
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just getting paid to do what they need to do they don't give a so yeah yeah but but i do think
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there are some male therapists that are helpful i just think it's mostly like male um what do you
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think about that um i've never had a male therapist and i wouldn't go to a male therapist because i
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need to i need to connect with a woman that's like do you know i mean like women no that's broken like
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me not necessarily but i feel like women connect easier no i think i think women look to comfort
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and men look to solve problems and that's why i don't think therapy works when they're women most
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of the time there's exceptions because like men like women are just going to comfort you they're
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going to tell you what you want to hear where men will tell you how to fix it but the problem is
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like women we never want to fix it like actually fix it that's interesting yeah it's true i had a
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male therapist actually for the i had a therapist for eight years i'm not in therapy anymore but the
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first four years was it was a woman and the last four years a man and i'm not in therapy anymore and
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i'm like i'm good now but that's because it was a man not a woman because when i was with a woman they
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would just sit there and soak in all my issues and all the problems and there was never a solve
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or a solution no one was trying to help me and then trauma what's your like and they call everything
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trauma everything you know everything abuse or trauma i'm like what the what do you mean i don't
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believe in trauma i don't believe in trauma either it's a bunch of bs it's just so that psychologists
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can make money off yeah well i do i do believe in like war trauma like from war what do you mean like
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i think if a guy goes to war and sees some like sees things that's real trauma but the way we use
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it today my ex-boyfriend cheated on me my it's just everything's everything but can i say something
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don't you think there's something called unhealed baggage that we be carrying with us because we
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haven't overcome how we felt in the last relationship i think you should just get over it
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yeah i think that we should quit whining our great grandmothers had to deal with it like they used to
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have plagues and getting cheated on like this is just the example i'm using but most of modern day
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problems are really nothing compared to like 100 200 years ago you could get the plague and like die
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you know that'd be traumatic being afraid you know and you're right you know what because i feel like
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personally i've been through so much i haven't had real therapy and i'm i'm strong i'm i'm still going
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you know what i mean i don't really it's not affecting me maybe it is in a way but it's not in
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in intervening in my life yeah strong strongly the reveling in the story is what a lot of the
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women therapists were using penelope's my daughter and they were um you know really listening to your
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story and and and giving a lot of emphasis to it like you were really overweight and the therapists
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were like no no don't don't talk about it don't don't don't try to help her lose weight and i'm like
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what do you mean like we've got to fix this problem like what's the plan it was so frustrating oh so they
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were they wouldn't try to solve like how big were you i was 300 pounds shut up i was 300 pounds you
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look great can we get us how did how did your life change from going from 300 pounds to i don't know
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what you are now but clearly not so i lost 130 pounds actually wow and you're tall too yes what are
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you six two no five nine and a half oh shit you look you look tall as heck okay um but basically i was
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you know i think part of the problem was because i was in therapy for so long and i nobody told me
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in therapy that there was anything wrong with me and i had depression i had anxiety i had suicidal
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thoughts and i was not i didn't have a good relationship with my father at the time and nobody
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was saying oh you need to lose the weight your life will be better if you just do that nobody they
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tried to give me medication they tried to give me pills they tried to put me in more therapy and it
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wasn't until one day i looked in the mirror and i'm like i don't want to be like this anymore i don't
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want to feel like this anymore and to be honest the body positivity movement crushed my soul and
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told me oh you should be you know you're beautiful no matter what size you are you're beautiful no
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matter you know how much you weigh you're beautiful no matter what you eat you can eat anything you want
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and you're gorgeous go girl and i and i thought it was okay wow i thought it was good because no one
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said anything and i could be sitting here if 300 pounds or enough i didn't make the decision to say
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penelope you need to get your butt off the couch and work out fix your diet fix your mental health fix
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everything and now i'm perfectly fine no meds just naturally all natural what do you do you think
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that contributes to 70 of women being overweight in the u.s completely i completely think that yeah
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go ahead no i just think that i think that the fact that people are obese and that they make all
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these excuses for oh i'm obese because of this i'm obese because you can lose weight no matter what
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anyone can lose weight it's just about finding the right way to do it and what do you think of the
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women that say we need like representation and magazines we need fat chicks on the cover victoria's
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secret fashion show it repulses me so it repulses me to see that because you've been there it does
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because i've been there and not only that but you are showing thousands and millions of women in the
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world that it is one okay to be unhealthy two okay to be slowly killing yourself and three
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okay to go outside and dress provocatively with your rolls out i was a plus-size model
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really in the 90s you were a plus-size model in the 90s yeah is there anything wrong with a little
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plus-size girl yeah because what about the people that actually what about the people that actually
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can't lose weight physically they will never wait that's not a thing but but what about people that
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actually but they mentally can't so that for the rest of their life they're going to be that same size
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they need some they need some empowerment because otherwise they could you know commit suicide
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do you go to a basketball game and look to see like an nba game or what do you guys have it's
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football right football here you do a football game here and you try to see average football players
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average like below average football players play football here when you go to a professional game
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do we see them no do you do you go there to see that oh well no so then why do on the cover of
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magazines which is supposed to be the epitome of beauty do we have below average women on it
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right like why like why is that why do we need that i feel i feel ashamed but i don't like it i
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don't want to see it i think you're right about the fact that they're doing it too because you know
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if you want to talk about the health system and the way the world's set up they don't want people
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to come out of a bce right so they're going to make it look like it's okay they don't want you to
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so so why wouldn't we have healthy people on the back in front of mag i'm not saying like because
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they don't want that yeah yeah but you you said we need that earlier no but i was saying that for the
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for the people that don't that actually fit i think in my head i'm thinking for the people that
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actually because a person that actually cannot overcome obesity and for the rest of their life
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till the age of 60 70 they're still going to be overweight those people are probably feeling yes
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like they're they're feeling okay they're you know they're empowered would you rather be empowered
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than commit suicide because people think oh look at you you're fat but even when you're eat when
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you're overeating you're slowly committing suicide my mother did it wow she died wow i was five
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her cause of death was severe obesity and then when my daughter started gaining the weight i was freaking
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out right and so that's why we're on a mission but don't you think there's a certain level though
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obviously there's obesity and there's because i feel like the modeling world has always promoted unhealthy
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unhealthiness and that makes sense even the slim women slim women was like six and like very small
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do you know what i'm saying that would they look like they weren't eating i don't think so if you
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look at i always hear that but i like i look at marilyn monroe she was healthy yeah but they were
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talking about one person there's a lot of a lot of women in the modeling world was very slim and they
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wouldn't eat or they wouldn't do something just to fit in the same category do you get what i'm saying
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i mean there were some but i just maybe for like early 2000s but i think if you look at the last like
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hundred years i think most women on the covers were just objectively beautiful what's the average
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weight you would say uh let's see i don't know off the top of my head i mean as a ford model
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the the girls who were in straight size modeling they were size four and that's because the samples
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are made in a size four and so is your four different from uk four oh yeah it is a bit yeah
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like more like a two i think it'd be more like a two two hair the average the average woman she's gone
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okay the average woman is five four i'm in america and i can do uk in a second yeah five four
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20 years old and weighs 170 pounds oh what's that in stone please
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but that's overweight i would say that that average that she just quoted would be 12 stone 12 12.14 okay
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because i would think that average is between 8 to 12. i think if you're in a good in shape 12 there's
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good in shape 12 women anything above that then we're talking obesity you know what i'm saying
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i mean i think it's bmi to be honest sorry uh to be honest it depends i think like around 10 years ago
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it used to be way different i think now they kind of raised it you know yeah yeah i think 10 years ago
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i went i don't know i was like 65 kilos i don't know what that is sorry in in stones it must be like 165
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in um in america 2.2 to 1. yeah and they would already say oh you should try to lose weight you
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know for your height whatever now if you look at that they're like yeah you're perfect you can be a
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model yeah so it really changed in the last decade i would say really it did so was about around 10 years
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ago was there plus size models is that a new thing i'll be honest not really they definitely were on
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america's next top model i mean it wasn't that as common though but i definitely i i know i used to
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watch tyra banks anyone yeah yeah anyone there there was some but they weren't like this they weren't
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like the the the like super yeah yeah like you see today they're just kind of like they're like tens
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big boned 10's all right 10's not big no 10's not big at all 12 12 for the modeling industry
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well this is what i'm saying for the modeling world that's quite big yeah but again it's like when you
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go to an nba game i want to see good basketball players like it's supposed to be the epitome of
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beauty yeah but like now we're rewarding average look like i don't want to see average chicks like
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faces on the cover of magazine i don't want to see average bodies but if she's like if she's a good
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i'm not saying plus plus but she's a good size 12 with good curves in that man don't want to see
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that we don't really want to just see slim girls all the time i'll be honest i believe that i believe
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that some men like that i really do it's typically to be honest it's typically broke men because if
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you look at rich men yeah yeah if you look at like it's so cap like i'm just i don't like liars no
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offense but it's like like when you see rich men what do they have on their arms but the only reason why
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they have slim women is because the slim women are in the higher echelons of places where the other
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women no not in beauty no let's not talk about beauty only i'm talking about venues certain venues
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certain places that they get to go to certain women can't get to go there okay you get what i'm saying
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leonardo dicaprio if he wanted a big chick he couldn't find one no he can find one but i'm saying
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in certain the plate the venue the events no the events he goes to it's from instagram come on
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they can get any chick they want yeah they can but but but do you think leonardo just got in
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in bear girls dms just hollering girls in the dms i think if he wants i think he'll i think he'll pick
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like he hollered at that one chick uh the hadid who's that oh yeah yeah hello gg had it do you know
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oh gg the model yeah i don't know what i say it's like if you look at the richest most successful
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mandate they typically have slim women i'm saying if you're looking at the richest parts of events
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and venues mayfair whatever and in america manhattan whatever if you go to the upper echelons of
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places they've got to be you know what i'm saying do you really think that the only reason they're with
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slim beautiful women is because of the events they go no but i'm saying because of the environment that
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they're in okay i think that was because that what that is society's ideal of a beautiful woman
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that's why and so i feel like the plus model came in when people started complaining that there wasn't
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a selection of variety of different sizes why why is it that all around the world they like young
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beautiful slim women everywhere even in different societies with completely different cultures please
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please do not bring up this one fringent tribe in africa everyone brings up but it's like they're
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it's such a small percentage of the world well africa there's something no they're trying there
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they bring up some tribe in africa assist that that likes the fat women but it's a very very
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i've done this conversation but if you think i hear that but if you think about it's the motherland
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please don't go to disingenuous no i'm not being but i'm all right me coming out you know deep down you
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know that men like slim women in general i'm gonna be honest i don't think they do i'm gonna be honest i don't
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i don't like and i'm gonna say this coming from being a black man okay if i'm talking about being
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a black man and from a black perspective of i feel like majority of us man like thicker women okay well
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and and and even jordan not at all but you keep talking about celebrity men that are going to be
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around higher women that out that certain women i'm from a one percent family my dad my dad my dad is
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a top one percent earner i grew up around in a wealthy neighborhood i'm telling you they do not put fat
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chicks on their arms in high class in high class society and celebrities want people with the
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option to not have a fat chick on their arm do not all right but what even like i was having a
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conversation the other day with with a woman and she was a slim woman she's from america as well so
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american um i think like atlanta or emma and she said when she was slim she was only getting approached
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by white men okay she put she put on a lot of weight no not a lot of weight but she's ticked got body
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whatever and blah blah blah now she's getting approached by a lot of black men which is what
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do you get what i'm saying but i'm saying if you if you look at it on on the democrats thing
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which which was successful black men that we know are dating but are we only going to talk about
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successful men yeah because those are the men with options broke men don't have as many options as rich
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men definitely have options they do not have as many options as rich men so if you look at the men with
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the most options to look okay so if we want to see what women want we got to look at the women with the
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most options who do the most beautiful the youngest most fertile women pick if we want to look at men
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what do men like we have to look at the men with the most options because it's not really fair to say
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oh i like fat chicks if i make you know ten dollars an hour at taco bell right like you can't you don't
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get no i get that but obviously if you're going if you're talking about celebrity celebrities are guided
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no i didn't but i didn't just say celebrity i'm i'm from i'm my dad is in like he's a top one
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percent earner i grew up with 10 siblings in a 10-bedroom mansion in a community where many
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people made that amount of money yeah so so i've been around a successful wealthy man and they
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don't put fat chicks sometimes they they do get fat later but they don't appreciate that you know what
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i mean so yeah but i hear what you're saying but i'm saying the reason these men obviously going to go
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for similar because they're around that's what you being in the top one percent and being in in this
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neighborhood okay it allows you to see different things you get like i've interviewed no but if
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you do have obviously if you do have money a lot of people with money are fit are in the gym they
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do it because they have more time on their hands to do other things you get on saying no they have
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less time guaranteed you think they have less time they're scheduled people absolutely have less time
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no i could tell you a hundred percent but also i think the reason that a lot of women are slimmer and
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why do you think more successful men want women who are slimmer it's because it's healthier for them
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like their risk for getting you know diseases at an older age their risk for having pregnancy risks are
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much lower if they're not overweight yeah so why would a man choose a woman if he wants to marry them
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if they're going to die at 50 if they're going to die at 70 if they're going to have their children's
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going to have i'd be at risk for birth risk i mean i would never want that and i don't think i don't
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think men want that like when men are looking for wives they're not looking for children like
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women who are going to have risks and we even saw how for you how your bad habit passed on to her
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and that's like if you have a bad habit yourself you will pass it on to your kids and then it's
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another problem that your kid like because i had the same my mom used to feed me like pop tarts and
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stuff when i was a kid and i and my mom was pretty big and then she ended up like losing all the weight
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um and she told me it's like she literally did it for my dad um and um yeah i have a sugar addiction to
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this day you know what i mean so it's like bad habits pass from like the parents to the kids
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exactly and sugar is more addictive than cocaine yeah yeah i do miss pop tarts they make healthy
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pop tarts but they're really not healthy they're still junk food no i subtle i don't like i like
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the cinnamon one i went in the complete opposite direction like total neurosis i got my bachelor's
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and master's degree in nutrition i helped thousands of people lose weight regain their health and it was
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almost like her rebellion so her choice to gain autonomy through overeating and ill health was
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almost you know well it was just so so crazy for me because i was so healthy i thought you said you
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were overweight as a kid i was but as an adult so you were super what were you doing my whole life until
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i was like 15 i was like rebelling against her i was like i'm gonna eat all the junk food so i'd go to
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my friend's house and i'd stuff my face with pizza and then their moms would call her and be like oh my
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gosh is your daughter okay she's eaten like a box of pizza and like my whole box of goldfish wow and
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i would just do that and then i'd come home and i would never like her cooking even though she's the
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best cook i know but like i wouldn't i just rebelled my whole life yeah it was terrible as many of you
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know i was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you
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