Pearl Gets TRIGGERED By This
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
165.84048
Summary
Is beauty a blessing or a curse? What are the top 5 hottest women of the 80s, 90s, and early 2000s? And how did they end up as the most successful women of all time?
Transcript
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For a year, you know, women of the past used to work through cheating and you could see it in
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the culture. I mean, look at the song Jolene by Dolly Parton. She was begging the side chick not
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to take her husband. She's saying, please, please, I love this man. I love it. But now,
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oh, it's the victim. He's evil. I'm amazing and awesome and special. I'm done. I'm done with this
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bullshit. You, I can't pander. I can't lie. All of these simps are just liars and I can't stand it
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and I'm not going to read this stuff anymore and not call it out. You're a simp, sir. S-I-M-P
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simp. That should be the new song. You know how they got like the promiscuous or like the,
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what was that Fergie song? It's like where they spell it out. Someone should make a song where
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it's like, you're a simp. You're a, you're S-I-M-P simp. Thank you. Honestly, Pearl, Jessica
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Jones. Honestly, Pearl, God didn't bother creating women to just cook and clean for men. And if women
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are so useless compared to men, why not just give men the ability to procreate without us in general?
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The majority of life on earth requires a male and a female to create life. Well, shit, Jessica,
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they're starting to. You know, if I say that children are less competent than adults, is that
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an insult? Women are less competent by and large than men. Occasionally you have a prodigy kid that
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just is very good and you're like, wow, what a, what a child. What? It's still a child. The other
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things she says, why not just give men the ability to procreate without it? They're working on it. I mean,
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guys, all we had to do, all we had to do was provide some value in the world. And the best
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way that women, when we got freedom, found to provide value was only fans and sex work. It's
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like, I honestly think if men had kids by themselves, the kids would turn out better
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than what we have now. I know. I know. We have all these mental health issues. We have all of these
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kids that are growing up to be criminals, rude, disrespectful. It's because all these moms just
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outgrow their husbands and think, huh, let me just, let me just be by myself. Oh, it's going to be
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amazing. And let me rob, let me rob the guy through child support and alimony for a lifetime. Amazing.
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Let me just have my free ride. We have 50 years of women that just love having a free ride. I'm tired
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of it. I'm tired of the laziness. You don't have to be a lazy bimbo, ladies. You really don't.
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So I had a question. I wanted to ponder this question. So I had a tweet. So I had a question.
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I wanted to know, is beauty in general a blessing or a curse? And so I asked the men to list your top
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five hottest women from the 80s, 90s, and early 2000. And I actually wanted to follow the lifespan of
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some of these celebrities. I want, I'm going to guess how their lives turned out. Some of them I'm going to
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know. Some of them I don't. And so we took some of the lists that the guys gave us. Don't shoot the
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messenger. This is not my list. This is just some of the ones that people gave us. And I want to see
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how these women's lives turned out and if they ended up married. So Kim Kardashian is currently
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dating NFL star Odell Beckham. Okay. Before that, she dated Pete Davidson. Before that, she dated Kanye.
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Before that, she was married to, or sorry, she was married to Kanye. Then married to Chris
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Humphreys. Then baseball player Gabrielle Aubrey. Or then she was dating Reggie Bush. And then she
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was married to Damon Thomas. So on one hand, they do get access to the highest quality of men. But here
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you see, it's very tough for women at the upper levels of beauty, fame, and attention to settle
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down. The next woman that the men listed was Angelina Jolie. So Angelina Jolie is currently
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rumored to be dating Irish actor Paul Meskel. From 1996 to 1999, she dated Johnny Lee Miller.
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From 2000 to 2003, she dated Billy Bob Thornton. And from 2014 to 2019, she was married to the one and
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only Brad Pitt. And so you start to ask the question, is beauty really a blessing or a curse? Because
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a common thing that I've gotten from men is women that are ranked from eights to tens tend to be
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useless because they've lived their whole life on easy mode. Both of these women had four children,
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I believe, or four plus children. And both of these women are still really living like they're in their
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twenties. And the reason is because they're beautiful enough that they really still can. The next woman we
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have is Pamela Anderson. She dated Tommy Lee from 1995 to 1998. Then she dated Kid Rock from 2006 to
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2007. Then, oh, I get it. Okay. She's pretty attractive. What did she do to her hair there?
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Why do women do? I cannot stand it when women cut off their hair. This does not look good. Okay.
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She dates Rick Salomon from 2007 to 2008 and 2014 to 2015. John Peters in 2020. And then,
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they're actually a good couple. They look good together. That didn't work out. And now she's
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dating Dan Hayhurst from 2020 to 2022. Okay. So right now she is married. It's only been two years,
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but if I had to predict it, I don't really see it working out. But again, you really don't see like a
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long, successful, happy relationship here. You see a string of bad relationships after bad relationships.
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Okay. So Heidi Klum's current relationship, Heidi Klum is currently married to musician Tom Holtz.
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They have been married since 2019. Before that, in 1997 to 2002, she dated Rick Hippino. Before that,
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she dated Flavio Briatore. These women really do have types. Like a wealthy old guy. 2004 to 2005,
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she dated Flavio. And Seal, she dated the longest. Maybe she doesn't have a type. Look at that.
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But 2005 to 2014. Wait, go back through these again. I was thinking because she sort of had a
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type there. They kind of were the same type. Go back. Very wide range. Wide range. So out of the
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four we've done originally, two are married right now. So Heidi Klum and Pamela Anderson both have
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been married for two years. So I think it's kind of still too soon to see how it plays out. So the
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next woman that they list is Natalie Portman. And Natalie Portman is married to a French
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choreographer, Benjamin Mile Millie Pied from 2012 to present. So she's been married the longest.
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I would say out of the four, that's the closest to a, like, I would say a success because I don't,
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I don't think you can really, I don't know, two years is just a little too early for me to
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qualify that, you know, she got the happily ever after. Natalie Portman, she really has a very
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classic beauty. She really does. That's like a wife beauty. Before her current husband, she was
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rumored to have dated. What the? These women's types, let me tell you. Musician Moby. And before
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that, she had a brief relationship with actor Jake Gyllenhaal, 2006. Oh, wow. That guy, Taylor Swift,
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dated and wrote all these songs about him. I only know him from Taylor Swift songs. Oh, he was so
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pissed. Is there someone before that? I'm going to qualify success as 10 years married, maybe plus.
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So the last person we have is Selma Hayek, and she is currently married to a billionaire.
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Okay, well, I'm going to say it was a blessing for her. From 2009 to present, so she's been married
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the longest. It's so interesting, like, women that the men pick as the most beautiful women,
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and, like, the women that I would pick, because honestly, I think the only woman I would pick from
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this, maybe Natalie Portman, Angelina Jolie, maybe Heidi Klum. Okay. But it's interesting,
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because I wouldn't pick this one. Before that, she was linked to actor Edward Norton, 1999 to 2000.
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And before that, she was engaged to actor Josh Lucas, 2000. Oh, okay. She's actually quite beautiful
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there. I'm going back and forth, guys. Engaged to actor Josh Lucas, 2003 to 2004. So let's see.
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Out of the five women that we did, four were married. So I would guess that two are married
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long enough for it to count. Is it a blessing or a curse to be insanely beautiful? Do you think most
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of these women will have happy endings? Let me know in the comments. It's an idea I'm kind of playing
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with, because I could really argue both sides. On one hand, these women do have access to the men that
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women typically respect, where the average woman typically does not have the same access and ability
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to get commitment. But on the other hand, these women have access to so many different types of men
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that are on such a high level that I do think hypergamy will kind of kick in for a lot of them.