JustPearlyThings - November 09, 2023


Pearl HUMBLES Rude Beta Male


Episode Stats

Length

6 minutes

Words per Minute

239.99388

Word Count

1,567

Sentence Count

3


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 why can't you be the best uncle sorry pal why can't you be the best uncle and not the best
00:00:04.560 you have one you don't need to be you can't you can't be a great uncle what i'm saying is if
00:00:10.640 you're a great uncle and you want to be stable in a population so 2.1 is a stable fertility rate
00:00:15.280 so that means you would need to be a great uncle to a a sibling with five kids okay my brother so
00:00:21.440 say if you couldn't have children so say if your sperm count and all of that stuff was not
00:00:27.520 scientifically scientifically imbalanced okay i need you i need you i need you i'm trying are you
00:00:33.600 not i need you to stop interrupting everybody sorry i know he's i'm passionate i understand
00:00:40.160 you're passionate but you need to control your emotions let him talk by the way you know you
00:00:44.800 made a really interesting point about like the number the number you need to reproduce in order
00:00:48.000 to keep the population stable 2.1 um and that's sort of there's like a few logical steps here i'm not
00:00:52.880 going to go too deep into it but there's a fundamentally big difference between a dad and an uncle there's
00:00:56.960 a lot of ways to be a bad dad there's only one way to be a bad uncle so let's raise the bar what do you
00:01:04.800 mean by that no bro i want to be like you want to explain how you be a bad uncle i really do want to
00:01:09.520 understand because this is what it's about that's what we're here i'm not trying to argue i'm trying
00:01:14.000 to understand so in my life i'm a i'm the best person i can be i i want to be clear you know when we
00:01:20.480 talk about you know having kids and stuff like that it's not just for me it is hard to find a partner out
00:01:24.800 there in the world today if you're a young guy you know people hear me and they go wow you're
00:01:28.560 black built and i saw a tweet and i i totally agree that being in a happy relationship as a millennial
00:01:33.200 it feels like catching the last chopper out of nom you know it is hard out there okay and there are
00:01:38.320 some people who just do something totally outside of their control not even like they're infertile
00:01:42.880 maybe they're they're short right and and and they just can't get a partner maybe you know who knows
00:01:47.600 it's it's hard out there and there are ways that you can contribute to your community and make it
00:01:52.640 easier for the people in your community who want to exist in the future it is not for everyone to
00:01:57.120 be a father or a mother there are many ways we can contribute to the next generation i just encourage
00:02:02.320 people to think about that like how can i contribute to my community instead of how can i you know chase
00:02:07.840 the joneses on you know tick tock and all these vanity marketplaces we have where we compare the
00:02:13.600 question bro you've answered the question i was gonna say oh no one for nothing can i say i was
00:02:18.400 literally about to say i feel i'm so happy you said that because i feel like it's so important to
00:02:23.600 pinpoint that it's bigger than just having a baby like it's bigger than just getting pregnant and then
00:02:29.120 like it's it's about finding somebody me personally i'm not having no kids until i'm married like and i
00:02:34.240 stand by that like it's not happening there's no way around it so if i don't find my man and and that's
00:02:39.280 my husband and i know that you know this is the person that okay cool you're ready to have kids with me
00:02:44.320 you must be ready to marry me also to get it because i'm not about to raise no child by myself
00:02:48.400 it's not happening i don't care how stable i am i don't care what point in life i'm at so it's
00:02:53.440 bigger than just having a baby and i feel like a lot for a lot of women as well like it a lot of a
00:02:58.400 lot of the reason why women don't want to have kids it stems from trauma you watch your mother grow
00:03:02.480 up as a single mother like you you haven't had any good representations of good marriages around you
00:03:07.440 like there's it's bigger than just having a baby so i feel like yeah my mom says to quote my mother
00:03:14.720 because she's just so wise oh my god what a woman she goes as long as you're a woman you're a mother
00:03:19.040 that's what she always tells me that's such a caribbean thing you know but they're right she says
00:03:24.000 as long as you're a woman you're a mother so at the end of the day like yeah but a good mother or bad
00:03:28.960 mother what do you mean because bad mothers that's just bad mothers create bad children and it's
00:03:34.400 yeah hundred percent we get all of that but what she's just trying to say was just a simple
00:03:38.320 yeah you're just shrugged you're like no it's not it's not it's not what she's trying to say
00:03:41.040 let us speak let us speak let us know what she's trying to say just one simple term from when you're
00:03:44.720 a man yeah i from when you're a woman your mother meaning that we just have a natural
00:03:48.400 yeah when it comes to kids it's not it's not simple okay this is this is going to be your final warning
00:03:52.400 please stop interrupting everybody go ahead go it's just our natural inclination to just love and to take care
00:03:58.320 like when we saw the dog running around what did all the girls do oh we're ready to take the dog
00:04:03.840 too of course because they have that potato thing but we're just more extra with it you know what
00:04:09.360 i mean can i can i just say one thing to your plate though i think um it's been difficult to to say this
00:04:14.720 because i think obviously you guys make all great points here in the room and it's good to have
00:04:18.640 different opinions but from speaking to a lot of women um i i'd like to say i've been fairly successful
00:04:25.360 as a man you know maybe not in terms of relationships but in terms of friendships and just building trust
00:04:30.880 with a lot of people and the conversations i have living in london you know some metropolitan city
00:04:35.760 a lot of people have careers and i feel like they they're so pressured uh these days and i feel like
00:04:40.720 you know society is making it so difficult for people to actually want to you know have kids it is very
00:04:47.760 difficult you know growing up watching our mothers struggle you know that's that's a major one you're
00:04:52.480 talking about trauma right so i think when we're talking about owing something i think we do all you know
00:04:57.840 know every you know we all owe something to someone or to come to the community to society but i think
00:05:03.520 the government should make it a little bit easier for people i think is is very expensive and it is
00:05:08.720 scary like you know a lot of people that want to have kids i think they probably think they can't
00:05:12.400 afford okay that's uh no the government should not make it easier for people that is not the
00:05:16.160 government's responsibility and i want to talk about very spoiled in this country already
00:05:22.880 i agree with what you said but i want to get a little granular and i i want to ask you in a
00:05:27.280 second but if i may because we talk about the the concept of ownership like do i owe it to the
00:05:31.040 world to be a mother and you said well maybe the government should make it easier and that
00:05:35.120 completely voiced that over to the responsibility that men have so i asked the guys the question here
00:05:40.560 just the guys do you owe it to the world to be productive do you owe it do you owe it to the world
00:05:47.760 to have the best version of yourself do you owe it to the world to build institutions do you owe it to the
00:05:53.360 world to conduct yourself with integrity and character and do you owe it to the world to be a
00:05:57.200 trustworthy respectable man yes or no so i'm going to twist this question a bit in in line
00:06:03.440 no no that was step one of step like two but i just want to say you know i think a lot of guys
00:06:08.320 they try to be pronatalist right and they're like i'm just going to go out there and have a lot of
00:06:11.280 kids right but pronatalism is about culture if i just go out there and have a lot of kids and i don't
00:06:15.760 treat my wife like a queen if my daughters don't grow up wanting to be moms because of the way they see their
00:06:22.080 mom live then i have failed failed and if i treat my wife failed and my son see that then they're
00:06:28.800 going to treat their wife that way and their daughters yes