Pearl On Losing Her Closest Friend
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
230.97113
Summary
In this episode of the podcast, I sit down with a good friend of mine to talk about friendships, family, and what it means to be a woman in today's society. We talk about what it's like to grow up in a toxic environment and how to deal with it.
Transcript
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um so that let's talk about with friendship um as this happens to a lot of my clients has happened
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to me a lot of people from my previous life my past life are like bro you've changed i remember
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you used to be like this yeah right you had an incident happen with a previous friend where she
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made some public comments about you uh you can go into what those comments were but how did that
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affect you and like how were you able to deal with that oh yeah i was i was very surprised that she
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did that to be honest um well she actually i stopped being friends with her like a while ago
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so this wasn't like recent um and what happened was i was making some comments about fat chicks and i
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was talking about how you shouldn't and i think this is basic like we shouldn't gain a bunch of
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weight after you get married yeah like i think that's kind of like not being a good wife she had
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gained a bunch of weight i hadn't seen her in a while it wasn't about her but the thing was like
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she kept like trying to get me to like every time she'd watch my show and just be like oh you can't
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say that you can't like because she was kind of feminist and um like and i was always fine like
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that was kind of outside of our friendship you know um and we just you know before you could just like
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talk about other stuff but once you go online like your friends see all your opinions and weird and
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yeah and so she said she wanted to stop being my friends and it was weird because when i said okay fine
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like you you you said this and then she got like really mad and what i realized is like women can kind of
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be like spiteful and the problem is like with girls is they'll they'll kind of like take a half truth
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and kind of spin i don't even i don't even remember what she said to be honest i just remember being
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like well that wasn't really true you know i just remember like watching it and thinking but what i
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realized is like i can't really control people and um yeah that was it was sad but because i was
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friends with her for like 20 years one of the issues is that you went public with it and started making
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content based on your relationship with her like showing old photos and stuff like that
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oh i didn't do that no she did yeah she did yeah that's what i'm talking about yeah it's very it
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reminds me very similar of like horrible situation with uh justin waller's mom i don't know if you
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ever seen this thing but justin waller's mom starts like saying stuff that like clearly wasn't true
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yeah about justin and i thought it was so lowbrow of like certain somebody to interview her when that
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whole thing happened but it's one of these things where it's like you're not a content creator but
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all of a sudden you're trying to become famous off this thing yeah well and yeah she was like oh
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she's never had a boyfriend but i'm like what are you talking about i just have i don't know so i was
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like what i don't know she was kind of nutty yeah but um i wasn't like crazy shocked because i i don't
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know it was kind of a weird thing with her where i always felt like um how do i put it like i felt like
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we were like closer when we were younger and like i don't know if you've ever had someone like from high
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school where you your life just kind of gets like better and there's like doesn't so they kind of
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like get out of shape i kind of i have 20 or 30 friends that went to jail for selling crack cocaine
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oh gosh okay well she wasn't that bad but but it was it's just like i just feel like her life wasn't
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really like going the way it wanted and i kind of felt this kind of drifting apart like a couple years
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earlier and it's kind of a weird thing with women where you can kind of feel like i'm getting kind of
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like jealous of you because you know i'm trying not to like say too much but i felt like like she
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was always like my my pretty friend do you know i mean that she got kind of you know and i it's weird
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i felt like our dynamics sort of like changed after that i don't know because i don't know but yeah
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yeah i'm trying to not get in trouble yeah i don't know yeah no i understand i don't need another 10
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videos made about me the thing that i think is interesting is is i want to make a statement
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that it's not good for you to have a super high bmi it's difficult uh on your heart it's difficult
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on your health it's difficult on your joints yeah if i make that statement that it's unhealthy to be
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at that weight yeah that does not make me a misogynist that does not make me a fat shamer
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i'm making a statement and i can show you evidence to base what i'm saying i also don't hate you
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because i made that statement okay now uh you know nicole arbor you remember when
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she said dear fat people have you ever seen that video she made i've heard of it yeah so nicole
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nicole got sick of la just moved to fucking nashville because she was tired of yeah dealing
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with all this shit uh nicole makes that video now she's being a little bit more satirical and she
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attacks some people a little bit and at the end she's like hey fat people i love you that's why
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i'm saying this yeah but it goes back to what we said before when i when i talked to the girls who
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did only fans and i didn't say i hate you i didn't call you a name i just said here is a possible
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consequence for your behavior than i was called a misogynist right when i go off and you say
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something to the effect of it is not a good idea for you to weigh this much we haven't gotten into
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the attraction part yeah i'm that doesn't make me a pig for saying that it's probably not a good
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idea for you to weigh this much but what makes it even more insidious is this shit here so the 37
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culture study done in 1989 by dr david buss where he looks at these 37 cultures they have nothing to do
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with each other people from papaya new guinea yamomamo indians people from who live in the
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andes they have no radio television or film and they looked for a small a per a certain hip to
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waist ratio about 0.72 yeah hip to waist ratio in all of these cultures they look for signs of youth
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and signs of fertility which means that uh beauty is not subjective it's actually objective you can
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actually see there was this one study they've done they've done it several times before they do like a
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psychology 101 course and they take everyone's picture they superimpose them all over each other
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and they get the average of all the faces and that face is more attractive than anyone in the course
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does that make sense because it's a symmetrical face so we know from that that beauty is subjective
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and beauty is the subjectivity of i'm sorry beauty is objective and the objectivity of beauty is implanted
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in us based on our genetics that's why when you have the discussion about whether or not men prefer
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very obese women versus very skinny women this is not the argument i always hear is like no
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cultures telling me to not accept women for being overweight and my response to that is no here is
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unassailable proof of this study of 37 cultures that proves that's not the case and there's also
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studies where they show like children stare at more attractive faces for longer which means this is
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hardwired into our genetics my heterosexuality and my belief in like what i find attractive is not a
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cultural construct it is genetic that is offensive to a lot of people the idea of that whole thing
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happening that beauty is objective and not subjective well and the other thing that i we were talking
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about on the podcast she got mad about was how like husbands are afraid to like say this to their
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wives that they want them to lose weight and i just don't think that's fair like i really don't
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think it's fair um and you know what else i realized through this whole thing i'm like people really
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it doesn't matter like what you do for someone it's like if they feel spited like they're very
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like there's no loyalty in a way uh like that girl like literally we'd let her stay with us in the
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summers wow like for free i'm like but you know yeah but she could still have that opinion and then
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not make tiktoks on it that's what i thought yeah or keep it between you and the other person yeah
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yeah so um you know what's funny we you know talk about different aspects of masculinity one of the
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aspects that doesn't get brought up enough is the concept of like standing behind your tribe
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even when they're wrong right yeah so i agree like the rollo with the whole tweet with the mat
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with the vasectomy thing all these people started attacking him and i'm like my first instance you
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know kevin garnett obviously kevin garnett does this one interview and he says if one of my teammates
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gets into a fight i'm jumping in on his side yeah i don't know what the fight's over but you put
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your hands on my teammate we're fucking going down yeah when we get into the locker room privately i'm
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going to ask you okay bro what happened why why did we get into a fight right when they go after
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rollo rollo's my friend even if i don't agree with everything he said like i think he's too hard on
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you even if i don't agree with everything rollo says he's still my friend i was going to defend him
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no matter what then when we talk about it's like oh i actually agree with you this is stupid
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obviously he didn't actually mean vasectomy he was just saying this to be hyperbolic
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and it's one of those situations where we another example uh the guys i understood the tweet yeah i
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agreed with him yeah like with rollo like um i mean i don't i understood what he was saying he was
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talking about it's the fastest way the fastest the quickest way yeah and the only foolproof way
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really is a vasectomy like yeah i'm not saying do it but i understood it was the 10 out of 10
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like 10 out of 10 idiot proof way of doing it that's what he was saying yeah and i understood what
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like i was like i'm on your side but it's okay yeah people people just like took it out of context
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and then we had a long debate about it yeah the thing is in the end he won because
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like ben shapiro's not talking about me right she's not talking about me correct you know
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yeah yeah in the end he did win yeah um so but i thought it was interesting when men stand up for
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their friends or for their tribe and then in this case you have a woman who was part of your tribe
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and she doesn't she just sells you up the fucking river i think it's masculine to stand behind your
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friends even when they're wrong but then to privately let them know hey bro this is what we should be
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doing different and i and what i'm seeing instead though is a lot of very unmasculine men
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going off and selling out their friends snitching on their friends trying to steal your girlfriend
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behind your back that seems to be more of the case one of the funny things that happens to me is
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because we said before i have a ton of female friends when my guy friends go to my female
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friends and they start running their mouth about me i find out about it immediately i'm like bro you're
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a snitch you understand what i'm saying that's so true guys will run their mouths yeah run they'll run
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their mouth like i the amount of information i'm like george tenet bro i got so much cia information
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yeah and they don't realize that because they run their mouth to these girls and they think the
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girls are going to be loyal to them and that's not the way it works right when you're not loyal as a
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dude to me that's like worse than anything that's why i never you'll never even people that i don't
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like you won't hear me talking bad about them behind their back because it's passive aggressive you know
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you know that happened to me with the co-host right like i had a co oh i had a co-host that like
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came out and said i was a colonizer yeah you didn't hear about that yeah specifically like
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colonizer like the imperialist yeah i guess okay yeah i guess you know blessings here against his
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free will apparently oh right yeah that's funny no but it's yeah it's it's crazy it's crazy the social
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media just like changes social dynamics because there's like money and throwing people under the
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bus correct so that and so my point is it's not feminine but it's non-masculine to throw your
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friends under the bus yes that's like it is masculine to go to jail for your homie and not
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snitch that is masculine that the reason why it's masculine is because your ancestors were willing to
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die for the tribe that is masculinity the ultimate form of masculinity is willing to die for your tribe
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right okay the ultimate form of not i'm not gonna call femininity i'm gonna call it non-masculinity
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the ultimate form of non-masculinity is willing to snitch on your homies steal his girl does that
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make sense yeah because i'm thinking like that's how do they get to the men they would always like
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like bring a woman and you know what i mean like like have the girl sleep yeah that's what that's
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what happened with um petraeus general petraeus was the head of the cia and he had to step down
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because he was cheating on his wife with a reporter well once like a foreign service agencies
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i'm so genius i'm sorry yeah once foreign service agencies find out that you're cheating on your
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wife they can use it to blackmail you sound like a nine yeah as many of you know i was just
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