JustPearlyThings - Pearl Schooled This Modern Woman For Saying This

00:00:00.000 what what is your plan for the rest of your life yeah so um i i need uh i need to know how old you

00:00:09.820 are so 19 years what are you late 30s late 30s okay so so question um and i just asked i asked

00:00:18.260 this more just i asked this more just because i'm curious because i feel like under 40 it's just

00:00:23.600 like a lot of single people so i'm just curious like do you want to be married again i'm getting

00:00:28.440 married again okay she said it she said it okay okay do you think that's going to be to this guy

00:00:35.460 you're in a distance relationship with that's the plan that's the one that's not the plan like do

00:00:40.620 you does he want to marry you is he expressed interest what's his like timeline on it um he

00:00:46.200 wants to get married as soon as possible but as i said we haven't been dating for that long so

00:00:50.360 i'm still trying to where does he live him so he's back and forth from here to new york okay i actually

00:00:56.640 met him when i was back home in jamaica i thought he was gonna say on a girl's trip

00:01:00.400 no okay so like what and i'm curious what information would you need to know about him in order to marry

00:01:10.440 him um that's a good question actually um there's a lot i mean there's a lot more that i want to know

00:01:22.180 like i just i mean i'm kind of getting to know his family values now um he also has two children

00:01:27.940 like myself um um and all the reasons he he wants to be married do you want to be married just to say

00:01:34.080 you're married or you know do you want to be married just to have someone on your arm or what

00:01:38.700 well why do you why do you want to be married i want to be married because i was married before and

00:01:43.560 i liked believe it or not i love to be married um it's something that i loved um i'm very family

00:01:49.040 orientated i have a huge family um so for me it's just natural for me to be married again because

00:01:56.260 it's something that i did like being just not with the person that was married to anymore what do you

00:02:01.560 what do you think a guy gets nowadays out of marriage that he doesn't get from a long-term

00:02:05.640 girlfriend um good question again um so i would say with a long-term girlfriend you you never have

00:02:15.040 the assurity of that if that's really the person that's you're going to spend your life with

00:02:19.520 obviously if you're having children you want to make sure that you're having the children in a 0.83

00:02:23.100 family unit a family home do you do you think he gets do you think he gets that assurity from a wife 0.95

00:02:27.900 yes how so when they leave because it's a bit more difficult for you to leave if you're married

00:02:33.180 right it's more you have more of a title even though it's just a title um because people live in

00:02:39.220 a home for a long time i mean i wasn't i wasn't married for years you know years into my relationship

00:02:45.320 before so you can still live in a home and be technically living like you're married but you

00:02:51.080 know you don't have to have that thing saying you're married but you have more assurance that

00:02:55.280 you're married well wouldn't you couldn't um couldn't you argue that there's more of an incentive

00:03:00.340 for women to leave since we're paid to do it oh what in terms of divorce yeah because you i mean 0.66

00:03:06.460 you can get alimony you can get child support um you can you know i've heard of women taking the 1.00

00:03:12.540 house you know yeah i mean in this day and age it's more it's more going that way marriage because

00:03:17.860 obviously yeah yeah you get a woman gets half of everything but now i'm hearing it's vice versa 1.00

00:03:22.580 now right so if the woman's earning more it's definitely not still sign a prenup though well you 1.00

00:03:27.240 can sign a prenup but um basically women can claim they're under duress when they signed it yeah and 1.00

00:03:33.240 yeah i mean yeah you can wait i'm sure there's like i feel like this more applies to america

00:03:38.380 though that yeah more america men can actually get like money out of the well they can but it's the 0.92

00:03:44.740 exception it's not the rule and typically like when women get money out of the men it's like or when men 1.00

00:03:50.180 get money out of the women it's nowhere near what women get out of the men just like typically 1.00

00:03:54.780 trust me women if that started happening across the board of the laws would be changed so quick 1.00

00:04:00.040 yeah you don't imagine if that um so would you be okay with like a long-term relationship where

00:04:06.900 you live together and you never got married yeah i'll be okay with that as well because i've done

00:04:12.180 that before but you know it's nicer to especially if you're like you're doing things like buying

00:04:16.660 property together and things like that it's nicer for you to be married right rather than just be in

00:04:21.320 a relationship and don't know what's going to happen and and i'm i'm curious if you were with someone

00:04:26.020 would you expect them to cover 100 of the bills or would you absolutely not okay what would you

00:04:30.680 expect him to cover i would expect like i said i would expect a man to probably do more than the

00:04:36.400 woman in terms of financially but i do think a woman should have access to her own just just coming 1.00

00:04:42.480 from experience i think a woman should always have access to her own money um but i do think a man 1.00

00:04:47.320 should financially provide for that woman and the family right so like what percentage of the bills 0.85

00:04:53.240 um i would say a woman should just take care of herself i'm hearing okay i'm joking 1.00

00:04:59.080 i'm joking but yeah i do think i do think a man should lead in terms of paying the majority and

00:05:05.700 providing for the family but a woman should be able to say here go babe you know so what what percent 1.00

00:05:11.400 of the bills i would say 70 to the man okay 70 you'd pay 30 yeah um what what do you think of

00:05:21.880 if you were married to a guy could you hand your paycheck to him yes especially if he's taking care

00:05:28.280 of awesome home okay and i know that he's a provider take it okay so you'd be okay with like

00:05:33.560 a joint bank account and like he's in charge of it you don't have any access oh have no access at all

00:05:39.320 i'm just curious how far you i'm just curious i'm just curious i'm not saying you should i'm just

00:05:45.580 curious how far you know i think a woman should definitely have access to some money yes i just

00:05:50.940 you know what's interesting i think it's interesting that we trust men to raise children but we don't

00:05:56.960 trust men and we and we trust men with our bodies yeah but we don't trust men with our money

00:06:01.940 like we always feel like we need a backup in case it doesn't work out yeah i mean that's life

00:06:07.240 sometimes in life hits you right so yeah you it is a smart thing to do to have a backup yeah okay

00:06:13.380 yeah okay i think we shouldn't have backups because that way you're just staying you just take all the

00:06:19.180 yeah you just yeah you just know you just got to figure it out yeah i think um and women i think

00:06:23.540 they should kind of ban us from credit cards too oh yeah they're disgusting those things yeah well we

00:06:28.180 just we spend so much we just swipe them yeah we should we should you know you when you think of

00:06:33.060 history you got to think of like they had reasons for these things and you know they always talk

00:06:37.220 about women couldn't have bank accounts well there is a reason the reason why have you seen the way 0.99

00:06:42.120 we spend we have um 80 of consumer buying decisions are made by women so we're spending all the money 1.00

00:06:48.740 even though we make less like literally just for a click of a button it's like i know you see something

00:06:52.600 online you know i love it i love oh another extra outfit won't hurt like and it's just you're putting

00:06:57.340 all these things in a box and you're like how did i spend a thousand dollars it's like where did it go

00:07:01.320 okay so what's your plan for your life do you want to be married yeah i want to be i want to have a

00:07:07.980 strong union with someone i want to be married i want to have kids and um i want to have a farm with

00:07:15.800 my partner as well a farm have you have you worked on a farm yeah i partly did when i was younger

00:07:21.240 okay um how how what did you do um fed chickens fed sheep okay and how old were you i was like eight

00:07:29.460 okay so you fed chickens and sheeps when you're eight now you want to live on a farm yeah i want to

00:07:35.140 i want i want to like you know just kind of like get away from the world and kind of like yeah have

00:07:40.320 that okay um so where are you going to find this farmer man wow it could be any man i could i could

00:07:47.620 even speak him into it it's a good idea but that's what i see for myself okay and you're 26 like when

00:07:52.920 do you want to be married potentially i would want to be married by the time i'm 28 okay and how long

00:07:59.000 would you have to date a guy before you could marry him um probably like a year sorry i need to i need

00:08:04.700 to i need to pause this line of conversation you said you said you could even speak him into it you see

00:08:13.300 like you literally didn't even learn anything from everything it's not no it's not like yeah because

00:08:19.120 you don't understand how much your language actually tells about what you truly believe

00:08:24.360 because you might not see it but if you can't if you keep carrying that sort of language it will

00:08:30.100 actually affect your actions so you're trying to speak a man into running a farm oh no no no no that

00:08:37.540 that no the point the point i'm just trying to make is that if you have that kind of mentality

00:08:40.700 you're probably going to pick the wrong kind of guy no you shouldn't be with any man that you're 0.98

00:08:45.100 going to have to be telling him the ideas of how he's going to progress in life a man should be the

00:08:50.700 one that has his direction and you should follow oh no it wouldn't be mean okay maybe that was a wrong

00:08:56.620 choice of words but it wouldn't be me necessarily speaking into it it'll be more or less bringing up

00:09:01.460 the idea and kind of just seeing where i can see the idea if you're kind of seeing kind of seeing where

00:09:06.440 it can go because if it comes to a point of for example you buy land i would obviously want to

00:09:12.040 predominantly have a farm if he says that he doesn't agree then i'm just speaking from the

00:09:17.240 point of a man because the point is if it's not his idea yeah there is no way on earth he's going

00:09:21.960 to be 100 fully into it and if he's not 100 fully into it he's going to fail yeah that's the point so

00:09:28.360 like when women bring these ideas to men and they think they are doing him a favor usually you're actually

00:09:33.640 taking him off his own destiny of where he should be looking at

00:09:40.200 well and sometimes i'm not gonna lie i think like if you wanted to live on a farm you'd be like

00:09:44.760 working on one yeah fair enough you're gonna have to find a farmer yeah yeah no fairly on his purpose

00:09:50.920 but obviously this is this is just something like i have an idea of who knows i probably just saw like

00:09:55.880 a tick tock one day no don't bring that up oh my god no maybe like obviously maybe things can change

00:10:04.120 i gotta i just i need to and i say this like in the nicest way you just don't seem like a farm chick

00:10:10.680 i get that but like you don't seem like a chick that will be super like happy on a farm i feel like

00:10:17.800 it comes across that but me personally you might i don't know who knows like me personally that's

00:10:23.000 just my idea of a guy who'd be willing to like you know have a different part of civilization for us

00:10:28.520 together as a family okay so um you want to be married by 28 where where do you meet men typically

00:10:34.360 now um i don't go on dating apps anymore if you see instagram no no i don't even go on this i don't

00:10:41.560 i don't i don't do you know what me personally i used to do that before but now i just completely

00:10:47.000 exclude that i just allow it to like naturally happen okay and do you approach guys in public

00:10:54.120 no okay so how would you expect to meet a guy if you're not doing instagram dating apps i'm not

00:11:00.840 really expecting anything like i'm not really going out my way to really perceive that anymore okay so

00:11:06.680 how do you expect to have that outcome if you don't go out of your way for it i'm not looking for

00:11:11.560 love right now okay but you said you wanted to be married by 28 but i have that's that's i don't

00:11:17.880 know like me personally i feel like i'm in a pool of like i don't really know where people go to

00:11:23.080 actually look for their person no seriously i wouldn't have to go i wouldn't go i wouldn't go

00:11:29.320 online i wouldn't go online anymore because like if that person is drawing to me online then that's fine

00:11:34.360 but like i feel like i'm still starting again when it comes to actually like dating especially because

00:11:39.720 now like i feel like everything is so online i feel like kind of taking that away i feel like it's

00:11:45.080 just a different it's a different type of finding someone yeah but the the issue we have right now

00:11:49.640 is men don't really approach anymore like i think i can't remember the surveys they've done but it's

00:11:54.280 the majority of men yeah well and you know how many friends i have that are just scared to talk to

00:11:59.320 girls yeah well well it's because like so they'll approach them that's why they no no no that doesn't 0.59

00:12:04.280 happen that doesn't happen either but guys are actually terrified of women really yeah well 1.00

00:12:09.320 there there's been too many like false accusations like just terrified wow yeah well i mean women

00:12:16.600 like will you know call men creepy or like do a scene like i just think the men are kind of tired of

00:12:21.480 this yeah i don't know i've heard that i've heard guys are just hi i've had the women of this generation 0.99

00:12:27.560 they just been they're just for the bin that's all that's what i've heard but i'm like yeah well no and

00:12:32.200 it's more just to think about like how we get like women i just think for some reason we expect certain 0.73

00:12:37.560 outcomes but we do nothing to get it but i'm not gonna lie because not saying that like i'm not

00:12:43.960 new but how do women actually get men like how do women actually go out of their way to kind of

00:12:50.360 approach men do you know what i've noticed one thing sorry you know i've noticed a lot with women 0.94

00:12:54.120 like just a lot of females that i've been around or whatever i i feel like back to what you were saying 1.00

00:12:58.360 earlier on about the hierarchy of men i feel like a lot of women just expect like men to come with

00:13:03.720 everything like just to come as um you know providers come with no children come with uh

00:13:12.040 perfect manners dates this that money that's what women today are expecting and and to be like let's 1.00

00:13:19.880 be real not every man's gonna have that you know well it's like are we perfect yeah we're not we don't

00:13:25.880 have half the things that we're expecting as women you know so it's like you like you have to be 1.00

00:13:31.080 realistic when you're searching for someone and yeah but you're not this is the problem this is a

00:13:34.520 problem with women and i agree i i absolutely agree yeah um and that's probably where a lot of women 1.00

00:13:39.960 are going wrong why they can't find love because they're looking as you said they're looking for

00:13:44.280 that like you know instagram the guy this you know taking the girl on dates and going to all the fancy

00:13:50.280 restaurants and roses and fast cars and that's what you know how many guys take you know how many guys

00:13:56.520 take a girl to the shard on the first date no that's not a lot right not a lot no no no no no

00:14:03.960 a lot a lot a lot oh a lot like the new generation everyone goes to the shard now 0.98

00:14:10.920 just on the first day but you gotta try and keep the younger guys yeah that's what girls are expecting 0.98

00:14:17.480 they think that's the standard yeah that's what girls are wanting like they're not thinking of the of 0.99

00:14:21.480 of the the normal things like family values and how he treats you in the home how he talks life

00:14:27.720 into you how he's gonna raise your kids like girls are not looking at these things they're looking at

00:14:32.440 oh red roses yeah fast cars dates pictures restaurants snaps like that's what they're looking at well if you

00:14:40.200 if you wanted to meet guys in the real world like um the way the way i think about it is like there's guy

00:14:45.880 events so like a box like where do men hang out oh okay like a boxing match you know but the thing

00:14:52.200 is like i really think if women want to meet men in the real world they kind of have to initiate it

00:14:56.760 because men just aren't approaching yeah wow yeah crazy right they have to say hi but advice for people

00:15:02.840 that actually want to meet people for marriage i think a lot of women don't even know where to find 1.00

00:15:08.520 good men yeah and the reality is you shouldn't be going out into the world to go and look for a man that

00:15:14.120 you want to get married to that's the that's the fastest way to find the wrong type of guy 1.00

00:15:18.680 if you want to get married there are so many places you can look first of all look in your

00:15:23.080 friend groups look at all the guys you friend if you if you don't yeah where's your husband in your

00:15:29.080 friend zone attractive then go to your parents go to your aunties your cousins ask about their friends

00:15:37.160 what's a challenge because yeah what you can get is you can get a guy that will come with like his

00:15:43.240 full dbs check if you're going out into the world i'm just going to speak to some random guy how do you

00:15:47.320 even know if he's a serial killer exactly but if you're getting recommendations from people that you

00:15:51.480 trust and know then they can at least give you hey women love serial killers i mean yeah we love we

00:15:57.800 love them this is something scary you need to actually meet people through other people yeah

00:16:04.520 already know that that way you you minimize obviously you can't minimize all the risk but

00:16:09.080 you minimize the risk of actually yeah meeting crazy people because i feel like you can meet some

00:16:13.960 like it might sound really bad what i'm gonna say i probably sound like a damn prune but like

00:16:19.960 i feel like there's so much risk of meeting people online nowadays like you hear so many stories of

00:16:24.520 meeting people online like i genuinely wouldn't want to meet the love of my life and then find out

00:16:28.840 oh he's killed a couple people he's got a couple bodies on him like i don't i don't you wouldn't

00:16:33.160 want to meet someone like that i feel like online it's it's a lot of deception that's going on here

00:16:37.640 like it's a lot well and the and the issue online is the hypergamy is so out of control because every

00:16:43.400 any guy you're going to date with like that's the top five ten percent of men yeah and i feel like it's

00:16:48.360 just hypergamy that's a big word it's like women date across and up hierarchies okay so it's like 1.00

00:16:54.360 it's basically like women date a smaller and smaller percentage of men so online it's only five

00:16:58.360 percent yeah so you're dating like any guy that you match with you're probably dating a guy that

00:17:03.320 everybody's dating yeah no it's true it's very true yeah yeah it's just i feel like online it's just

00:17:09.320 it's very scary now i'd rather just enjoy my life while i'm single and just wait from there really

00:17:15.880 what what about you uh mr fuck boy yeah um what was the question again what's your plan 0.91

00:17:21.160 do you want to get married uh do you know what with the right person yeah okay what yeah i want

00:17:27.640 that happy um i want the happy ending so you're but i only learned that recently do you know what

00:17:32.520 i mean and then um i got a bit heartbroken so that all went out the window you treated her too good

00:17:38.120 maybe i'm asking maybe you said earlier that i don't really know because i i don't know what women 1.00

00:17:43.800 actually think anymore because you know i'm mad you know so when when would you like to be married

00:17:51.240 um i don't i don't have a day if it happens it happens because like before i was thinking that

00:17:56.840 i don't want marriage i don't want kids i don't want any of that and then obviously for the right 0.86

00:18:01.720 person i think that will change as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are

00:18:07.080 demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to help please consider sending a super

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JustPearlyThings - August 28, 2023

Pearl Schooled This Modern Woman For Saying This

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