Pearl Schooled This Modern Woman For Saying This
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
208.11533
Summary
In this episode, we talk about the benefits of being in a long term relationship, what it's like to be in a relationship with someone you're in a distance relationship, and the pros and cons of being married again.
Transcript
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what what is your plan for the rest of your life yeah so um i i need uh i need to know how old you
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are so 19 years what are you late 30s late 30s okay so so question um and i just asked i asked
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this more just i asked this more just because i'm curious because i feel like under 40 it's just
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like a lot of single people so i'm just curious like do you want to be married again i'm getting
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married again okay she said it she said it okay okay do you think that's going to be to this guy
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you're in a distance relationship with that's the plan that's the one that's not the plan like do
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you does he want to marry you is he expressed interest what's his like timeline on it um he
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wants to get married as soon as possible but as i said we haven't been dating for that long so
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i'm still trying to where does he live him so he's back and forth from here to new york okay i actually
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met him when i was back home in jamaica i thought he was gonna say on a girl's trip
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no okay so like what and i'm curious what information would you need to know about him in order to marry
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him um that's a good question actually um there's a lot i mean there's a lot more that i want to know
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like i just i mean i'm kind of getting to know his family values now um he also has two children
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like myself um um and all the reasons he he wants to be married do you want to be married just to say
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you're married or you know do you want to be married just to have someone on your arm or what
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well why do you why do you want to be married i want to be married because i was married before and
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i liked believe it or not i love to be married um it's something that i loved um i'm very family
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orientated i have a huge family um so for me it's just natural for me to be married again because
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it's something that i did like being just not with the person that was married to anymore what do you
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what do you think a guy gets nowadays out of marriage that he doesn't get from a long-term
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girlfriend um good question again um so i would say with a long-term girlfriend you you never have
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the assurity of that if that's really the person that's you're going to spend your life with
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obviously if you're having children you want to make sure that you're having the children in a
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family unit a family home do you do you think he gets do you think he gets that assurity from a wife
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yes how so when they leave because it's a bit more difficult for you to leave if you're married
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right it's more you have more of a title even though it's just a title um because people live in
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a home for a long time i mean i wasn't i wasn't married for years you know years into my relationship
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before so you can still live in a home and be technically living like you're married but you
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know you don't have to have that thing saying you're married but you have more assurance that
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you're married well wouldn't you couldn't um couldn't you argue that there's more of an incentive
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for women to leave since we're paid to do it oh what in terms of divorce yeah because you i mean
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you can get alimony you can get child support um you can you know i've heard of women taking the
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house you know yeah i mean in this day and age it's more it's more going that way marriage because
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obviously yeah yeah you get a woman gets half of everything but now i'm hearing it's vice versa
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now right so if the woman's earning more it's definitely not still sign a prenup though well you
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can sign a prenup but um basically women can claim they're under duress when they signed it yeah and
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yeah i mean yeah you can wait i'm sure there's like i feel like this more applies to america
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though that yeah more america men can actually get like money out of the well they can but it's the
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exception it's not the rule and typically like when women get money out of the men it's like or when men
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get money out of the women it's nowhere near what women get out of the men just like typically
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trust me women if that started happening across the board of the laws would be changed so quick
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yeah you don't imagine if that um so would you be okay with like a long-term relationship where
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you live together and you never got married yeah i'll be okay with that as well because i've done
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that before but you know it's nicer to especially if you're like you're doing things like buying
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property together and things like that it's nicer for you to be married right rather than just be in
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a relationship and don't know what's going to happen and and i'm i'm curious if you were with someone
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would you expect them to cover 100 of the bills or would you absolutely not okay what would you
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expect him to cover i would expect like i said i would expect a man to probably do more than the
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woman in terms of financially but i do think a woman should have access to her own just just coming
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from experience i think a woman should always have access to her own money um but i do think a man
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should financially provide for that woman and the family right so like what percentage of the bills
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um i would say a woman should just take care of herself i'm hearing okay i'm joking
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i'm joking but yeah i do think i do think a man should lead in terms of paying the majority and
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providing for the family but a woman should be able to say here go babe you know so what what percent
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of the bills i would say 70 to the man okay 70 you'd pay 30 yeah um what what do you think of
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if you were married to a guy could you hand your paycheck to him yes especially if he's taking care
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of awesome home okay and i know that he's a provider take it okay so you'd be okay with like
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a joint bank account and like he's in charge of it you don't have any access oh have no access at all
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i'm just curious how far you i'm just curious i'm just curious i'm not saying you should i'm just
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curious how far you know i think a woman should definitely have access to some money yes i just
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you know what's interesting i think it's interesting that we trust men to raise children but we don't
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trust men and we and we trust men with our bodies yeah but we don't trust men with our money
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like we always feel like we need a backup in case it doesn't work out yeah i mean that's life
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sometimes in life hits you right so yeah you it is a smart thing to do to have a backup yeah okay
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yeah okay i think we shouldn't have backups because that way you're just staying you just take all the
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yeah you just yeah you just know you just got to figure it out yeah i think um and women i think
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they should kind of ban us from credit cards too oh yeah they're disgusting those things yeah well we
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just we spend so much we just swipe them yeah we should we should you know you when you think of
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history you got to think of like they had reasons for these things and you know they always talk
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about women couldn't have bank accounts well there is a reason the reason why have you seen the way
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we spend we have um 80 of consumer buying decisions are made by women so we're spending all the money
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even though we make less like literally just for a click of a button it's like i know you see something
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online you know i love it i love oh another extra outfit won't hurt like and it's just you're putting
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all these things in a box and you're like how did i spend a thousand dollars it's like where did it go
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okay so what's your plan for your life do you want to be married yeah i want to be i want to have a
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strong union with someone i want to be married i want to have kids and um i want to have a farm with
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my partner as well a farm have you have you worked on a farm yeah i partly did when i was younger
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okay um how how what did you do um fed chickens fed sheep okay and how old were you i was like eight
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okay so you fed chickens and sheeps when you're eight now you want to live on a farm yeah i want to
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i want i want to like you know just kind of like get away from the world and kind of like yeah have
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that okay um so where are you going to find this farmer man wow it could be any man i could i could
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even speak him into it it's a good idea but that's what i see for myself okay and you're 26 like when
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do you want to be married potentially i would want to be married by the time i'm 28 okay and how long
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would you have to date a guy before you could marry him um probably like a year sorry i need to i need
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to i need to pause this line of conversation you said you said you could even speak him into it you see
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like you literally didn't even learn anything from everything it's not no it's not like yeah because
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you don't understand how much your language actually tells about what you truly believe
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because you might not see it but if you can't if you keep carrying that sort of language it will
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actually affect your actions so you're trying to speak a man into running a farm oh no no no no that
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that no the point the point i'm just trying to make is that if you have that kind of mentality
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you're probably going to pick the wrong kind of guy no you shouldn't be with any man that you're
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going to have to be telling him the ideas of how he's going to progress in life a man should be the
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one that has his direction and you should follow oh no it wouldn't be mean okay maybe that was a wrong
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choice of words but it wouldn't be me necessarily speaking into it it'll be more or less bringing up
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the idea and kind of just seeing where i can see the idea if you're kind of seeing kind of seeing where
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it can go because if it comes to a point of for example you buy land i would obviously want to
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predominantly have a farm if he says that he doesn't agree then i'm just speaking from the
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point of a man because the point is if it's not his idea yeah there is no way on earth he's going
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to be 100 fully into it and if he's not 100 fully into it he's going to fail yeah that's the point so
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like when women bring these ideas to men and they think they are doing him a favor usually you're actually
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taking him off his own destiny of where he should be looking at
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well and sometimes i'm not gonna lie i think like if you wanted to live on a farm you'd be like
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working on one yeah fair enough you're gonna have to find a farmer yeah yeah no fairly on his purpose
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but obviously this is this is just something like i have an idea of who knows i probably just saw like
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a tick tock one day no don't bring that up oh my god no maybe like obviously maybe things can change
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i gotta i just i need to and i say this like in the nicest way you just don't seem like a farm chick
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i get that but like you don't seem like a chick that will be super like happy on a farm i feel like
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it comes across that but me personally you might i don't know who knows like me personally that's
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just my idea of a guy who'd be willing to like you know have a different part of civilization for us
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together as a family okay so um you want to be married by 28 where where do you meet men typically
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now um i don't go on dating apps anymore if you see instagram no no i don't even go on this i don't
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i don't i don't do you know what me personally i used to do that before but now i just completely
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exclude that i just allow it to like naturally happen okay and do you approach guys in public
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no okay so how would you expect to meet a guy if you're not doing instagram dating apps i'm not
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really expecting anything like i'm not really going out my way to really perceive that anymore okay so
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how do you expect to have that outcome if you don't go out of your way for it i'm not looking for
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love right now okay but you said you wanted to be married by 28 but i have that's that's i don't
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know like me personally i feel like i'm in a pool of like i don't really know where people go to
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actually look for their person no seriously i wouldn't have to go i wouldn't go i wouldn't go
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online i wouldn't go online anymore because like if that person is drawing to me online then that's fine
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but like i feel like i'm still starting again when it comes to actually like dating especially because
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now like i feel like everything is so online i feel like kind of taking that away i feel like it's
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just a different it's a different type of finding someone yeah but the the issue we have right now
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is men don't really approach anymore like i think i can't remember the surveys they've done but it's
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the majority of men yeah well and you know how many friends i have that are just scared to talk to
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girls yeah well well it's because like so they'll approach them that's why they no no no that doesn't
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happen that doesn't happen either but guys are actually terrified of women really yeah well
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there there's been too many like false accusations like just terrified wow yeah well i mean women
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like will you know call men creepy or like do a scene like i just think the men are kind of tired of
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this yeah i don't know i've heard that i've heard guys are just hi i've had the women of this generation
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they just been they're just for the bin that's all that's what i've heard but i'm like yeah well no and
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it's more just to think about like how we get like women i just think for some reason we expect certain
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outcomes but we do nothing to get it but i'm not gonna lie because not saying that like i'm not
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new but how do women actually get men like how do women actually go out of their way to kind of
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approach men do you know what i've noticed one thing sorry you know i've noticed a lot with women
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like just a lot of females that i've been around or whatever i i feel like back to what you were saying
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earlier on about the hierarchy of men i feel like a lot of women just expect like men to come with
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everything like just to come as um you know providers come with no children come with uh
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perfect manners dates this that money that's what women today are expecting and and to be like let's
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be real not every man's gonna have that you know well it's like are we perfect yeah we're not we don't
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have half the things that we're expecting as women you know so it's like you like you have to be
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realistic when you're searching for someone and yeah but you're not this is the problem this is a
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problem with women and i agree i i absolutely agree yeah um and that's probably where a lot of women
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are going wrong why they can't find love because they're looking as you said they're looking for
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that like you know instagram the guy this you know taking the girl on dates and going to all the fancy
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restaurants and roses and fast cars and that's what you know how many guys take you know how many guys
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take a girl to the shard on the first date no that's not a lot right not a lot no no no no no
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a lot a lot a lot oh a lot like the new generation everyone goes to the shard now
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just on the first day but you gotta try and keep the younger guys yeah that's what girls are expecting
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they think that's the standard yeah that's what girls are wanting like they're not thinking of the of
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of the the normal things like family values and how he treats you in the home how he talks life
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into you how he's gonna raise your kids like girls are not looking at these things they're looking at
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oh red roses yeah fast cars dates pictures restaurants snaps like that's what they're looking at well if you
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if you wanted to meet guys in the real world like um the way the way i think about it is like there's guy
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events so like a box like where do men hang out oh okay like a boxing match you know but the thing
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is like i really think if women want to meet men in the real world they kind of have to initiate it
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because men just aren't approaching yeah wow yeah crazy right they have to say hi but advice for people
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that actually want to meet people for marriage i think a lot of women don't even know where to find
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good men yeah and the reality is you shouldn't be going out into the world to go and look for a man that
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you want to get married to that's the that's the fastest way to find the wrong type of guy
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if you want to get married there are so many places you can look first of all look in your
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friend groups look at all the guys you friend if you if you don't yeah where's your husband in your
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friend zone attractive then go to your parents go to your aunties your cousins ask about their friends
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what's a challenge because yeah what you can get is you can get a guy that will come with like his
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full dbs check if you're going out into the world i'm just going to speak to some random guy how do you
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even know if he's a serial killer exactly but if you're getting recommendations from people that you
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trust and know then they can at least give you hey women love serial killers i mean yeah we love we
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love them this is something scary you need to actually meet people through other people yeah
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already know that that way you you minimize obviously you can't minimize all the risk but
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you minimize the risk of actually yeah meeting crazy people because i feel like you can meet some
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like it might sound really bad what i'm gonna say i probably sound like a damn prune but like
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i feel like there's so much risk of meeting people online nowadays like you hear so many stories of
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meeting people online like i genuinely wouldn't want to meet the love of my life and then find out
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oh he's killed a couple people he's got a couple bodies on him like i don't i don't you wouldn't
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want to meet someone like that i feel like online it's it's a lot of deception that's going on here
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like it's a lot well and the and the issue online is the hypergamy is so out of control because every
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any guy you're going to date with like that's the top five ten percent of men yeah and i feel like it's
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just hypergamy that's a big word it's like women date across and up hierarchies okay so it's like
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it's basically like women date a smaller and smaller percentage of men so online it's only five
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percent yeah so you're dating like any guy that you match with you're probably dating a guy that
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everybody's dating yeah no it's true it's very true yeah yeah it's just i feel like online it's just
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it's very scary now i'd rather just enjoy my life while i'm single and just wait from there really
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what what about you uh mr fuck boy yeah um what was the question again what's your plan
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do you want to get married uh do you know what with the right person yeah okay what yeah i want
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that happy um i want the happy ending so you're but i only learned that recently do you know what
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i mean and then um i got a bit heartbroken so that all went out the window you treated her too good
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maybe i'm asking maybe you said earlier that i don't really know because i i don't know what women
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actually think anymore because you know i'm mad you know so when when would you like to be married
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um i don't i don't have a day if it happens it happens because like before i was thinking that
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i don't want marriage i don't want kids i don't want any of that and then obviously for the right
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person i think that will change as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are
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