Psychologist's ADVICE for SINGLE Women
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
193.25087
Summary
In this episode, we have our first guest on the show, who is a dating coach and expert in the field of online dating. We discuss the dating scene in the UK, the dating culture and how women are treated by men in the dating world. We also discuss what is a woman s role in the modern dating world and why women have such low standards compared to men.
Transcript
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the the tinder thing right and imagine like dating apps aren't the best place for women
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no no no yes but you need to know how to do it so yeah so this is i'm just going to ask you so
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based on your your practice i'd imagine like women swipe too high on dating apps because we
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only swipe right five percent of the time we find eighty percent of them i'm sure you know
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the numbers so it's like if you go on a date with a guy from a dating app he's probably dating like
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you must be honest yeah and you only say i am now in choice we can drink a coffee we can speak
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but you need to do something to show me that you want to be with me because today men go with woman
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in park even don't give one rose today men very often go to meeting because i work every day with
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dating in uk and men even go with not clean clothes not iron clothes and men come and say do you want
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to go to my room i'm so sorry but don't you think that's like the quality this is laughable a real
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man you don't have to say can you give me a rose can you give show me show me show me uh i i think
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the issue is i will give you a rose well well i don't i don't know if a real man like
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i don't even want to talk about real versus not but my my thing is i think it speaks to the quality of
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the women though and so it's like obviously if the women are lower quality than ever before the men are
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going to treat them traditionally because it's like even if the 42 year old why would she get
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a traditional outcome you know i work very often with very successful women in career yeah and but
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they have very low level of self-confidence as women because for example her mother always told
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her you are very ugly her father was very toxic narcissistic yeah every day i work with this she can
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be financial director and be company a lawyer but when men stay to her she don't know how to be a woman
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she doesn't know but the men but the men you know men don't care about your career though exactly
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that stuff is valuable to be beautiful right and to be sexy and to be attractive he doesn't care how
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many education you have and if you have a phd right but i i really think i don't find that women are
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maybe it's in different countries i don't know i i find that they're they're they have too high of
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standards not too low yes because because it's like they find 80 of men is ugly so that that means that
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means they're all men don't need to be beautiful men need to be honest man need to be strong
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i need to have a realization of his mission right social successful and to be a man he don't need
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to be beautiful woman must be beautiful yeah and i agree with you but i'm saying in the west that's
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that's how we select typically is more based on looks because we are women sometimes stupid and we
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are women sometimes go and to choose his good looking can i say wait wait wait he has his house he can
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take care about you he is responsible he is honest he lie you and i spoke also with men he say me if i
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feel that woman uh catch up on me i don't think just think of her i want other woman and then if i
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feel that i have competitors yeah it's activate me because i know that she has another four who drink
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coffee play tennis and i say i must be better than others and then i want to run for her then i want to
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do something for her competitors activate normal men if men of uh not if female men of course he will
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go far away but man he feel that he can lost and really like and you are very right need to be high
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level of woman of course you're smart you just drink a coffee again i say you don't sleep with them
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you're in choice you're go to market you say i'm a single woman i'm just thinking five that's a lot
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though a minimum five can be ten i think i think that's so like i almost think that's like disrespectful
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to a guy what she's trying to say there which i think i'm getting her point and i got your point as
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well yeah is i think what she's trying to say um is um no not to have a backup it's more to do with
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the development for a woman you're not attached to that one person that you jump to it and put all
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like it's don't you think don't you think don't you think that's what's like beautiful about being
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a woman though is you get attached if there's no attachment you're gonna leave that guy with
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a click of a finger there's no respect no no no but what what do you mention is the first guy left
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her after sleeping with her instantly so what she's trying to say why did she sleep with him so quick
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exactly because she's not his man and the first man he gave her attention when i want to i'm sorry
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when she talks when she talks to four five men but from a respectful place she's not being like
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flirty or giving herself away she's developing yeah she's developing this quality to
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bring boundaries for herself right but i'm just i'm just thinking if you're talking to five men you
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still have a favorite friends you have brothers you have you have friends and brothers and dads and
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step-dads and whatever to do that kind of stuff random men on a dating app past one and it's
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serious you're talking you're it's wrong it's disturbing is it is it what are the guys thinking
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this yeah real real quick i say this to the lady behind me is it fair to generalize all men like this
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for example if i were to say all women who are allowed and obnoxious like you usually wind up
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i think people get divorced for different reasons different reasons and generalizing someone anyone
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no it's not fair no it's not fair but did i generalize no it's not fair but i also think a
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woman has the power to uh develop herself look it's like how do you know to swim until you go in the
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water so you figure out your boundaries your respect you're not sleeping with that person but you're also
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then getting awareness of okay there is different variety of mans they have different values they
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have different standards and whoever from those five will pick me and then i under i understand like
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i understand where she's coming from like i so i'm not even discrediting and i'm just but i'm just wait
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wait so i'm i'm just thinking like that's just sounds like more for traditional women which don't really
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exist anymore like that sounds like more traditional courting you know you know what i mean uh depend
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feminist and not feminist a lot of women prefer to survive alone and it's very difficult in this
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world yeah for example i am not from this i believe that men need to be with a woman and i cannot without
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men i i drive a car but i prefer my partner always to drive a car i think women shouldn't drive yeah
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yeah but you are honest again i say you say man i am single i like to meet with people i like to
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communicate you play tennis you go to drink coffee you don't social place because you need to
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understand what you want when you're divorced when you're single you don't know if you don't
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communicate with different type of people different age different culture how you can know then you
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take the first and you do the same mistake because you already wants attention yeah communicate understand
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what do you what do you think about what specific the five men speak to at the same time but don't sleep
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with them do you think that's like do you think that's disrespectful if you were like courting a
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girl and she was talking to five other guys at the same time you know it's interesting i struggled
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with jealousy uh almost my entire life and i finally realized and this is especially if you're
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a man who struggles with jealousy the way i did you know i'm mediterranean middle eastern man
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so maybe it's a genetic thing i struggled with jealousy really bad i was pretty controlling
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and uh it wasn't until i actually met my wife that i realized i couldn't stop a woman from lying and
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cheating to me and i've been cheated on and uh and that's painful as fuck so i realized if you can't
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control a woman just relax and be confident and if she fucks around on you that's her loss now one more
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thing i want to say i trust my wife i also think that you can stop that problem by just meeting a woman
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who has those values i never have to worry about my i don't even care about going through my wife's
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phone but if i wanted to i could exactly yeah if i wanted to go through my wife's phone i could in
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fact my wife i have the opposite problem my wife likes to go through my phone and i get really hurt
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by that because i feel like why don't you trust me i don't go through your phone why would you go through
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my phone now she doesn't do it as much um but you know i had to i had to you don't want to live a
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life where you're going crazy wondering is your woman getting by you know some big guy
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no but i'm just asking like if you found out a girl was doing what she yeah but to answer your question
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i wouldn't deal with it i'd leave her there's no way i would be with a woman and she and i'm seeing
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she's talking to johnny at 2 a.m he he he on text message i'd leave her i don't give a
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fuck because i know my worth you know i think are there men though that would um go along with what
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she's saying yeah but what she's saying is advocating on women's behalf and i get that i can respect that
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but if you're a man you're making money you're taking care of your mind your body you know you got
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a good faith with the lord have some self-respect have some fucking self-respect that if a woman behaves
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like that you drop the hole straight up so what um my question here is like when you're at the very
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start of the relationship where you just started saying hello to four five different people and then
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somebody come forward and then said they are interested in you then you drop all the other
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men and then you're focusing on that person when you're in relationship you stay monogamic it's not
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discussed but before to be in monogamic relationship partner need to show you i want to be
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with you i am have interest with you not like cheeky chicken he disappear and he cry alone especially
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the point you raised about a woman chooses like you know it's her decision she made and she attracted
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somebody now the very first guy that came into your life and if you don't give yourself that choice of
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actually for that you have to go out and look out and see which one it is but he's absolutely right
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if i am giving somebody this idea of i'm in relationship with you and i'm talking to five
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other people that's no but i i think he's talking i think he's talking about even early on like i
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i just think if you're talking like this is just my opinion but i think if you're talking to five
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guys like i don't know how you keep track to be honest how can you talk to five guys it just seems to be
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like taking attention from men to feel your ego you know i have a lot of single moms which i married
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and i help them and i say go out oh i cannot i'm tired you want to be married or you don't want i have
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one single man she come to me 42 she was very uh suffering with her son and i told her go up and
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speak with minimum five men she go to drink coffee with five from this five she likes four she go from
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dinner uh with four after from four she choose two with them she go more close and from this two
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she choose one now already she's married 10 years and guy amazing very careful out here they know that
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she's single she's looking and uh a very very big successful man men also respect when woman honest
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and yes of course you have a choice and you need to do something to be with you you know what you
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know a clear definition of misandry i'll give you a great example of of of misandry and in pop culture
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in america there is a tick tocker i'm not going to say her name so the video doesn't get pulled down
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she made a video talking about how she saved a lot of money going on a date like six nights a week
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basically she would go with a different guy every night and she would save the money and
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she was giving this as a personal finance hack now this is not even comedy this is finance
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on tick tock the most degenerate app aside from snapchat and that gets promoted she has millions
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of followers she's getting corporate sponsorship deals but if you see a video of like let's say
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sneeko tristan tate myself other guys that's talking about you should have some self-respect for yourself
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that gets pulled down for hate speech yeah yeah it's crazy i just think a lot of times like men
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like i don't know i would just be really frustrated if i like if i was a dude and i'm paying for this
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girl's dinner she's talking to five other dudes or ten you know i mean this this this influencer was
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literally celebrating honest though you know you don't go a meeting and say hello i have five minutes
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to speak you say i'm single and i'm looking you don't give discuss express and men do the same man he's
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looking he do the same i make a session with men's men do the same when he looking closer he go out and
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he meet he don't take the first woman which you see in tinder and to marry her yeah but the difference
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with men is that while men are doing that they are paying for it through their pockets women are doing
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that free of charge depend no it doesn't depend most of the time women are not going on dates paying for
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the dates most of the time facts facts you can go play tennis you can go to park i mean literally
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this girl you anyone can fact check me hold on anyone can fact check me you can go on new york post
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and look at the article they wrote about this influencer not a comedy influencer a finance influencer
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saying how she's encouraging women basically to go on dates with men no chance of getting some
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pussy you're not gonna the guy you're gonna go on a date you're gonna mislead the guy get a free
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dinner go home and do that six nights a week to save money and she's being celebrated in the media and
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on tick tock and she's verified but then if i say something about men having some self-respect for
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themselves or other creators like sneeko tristan tate they're all banned all of us got banned but she's
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promoted make that make sense yeah it's super wrong no that that it's abuse of uh you know
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first it's different topic and it's not common uh no it's very common it's very common literally
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i can't remember what percent it was over half of women have admitted to going on a man with
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going on a date with a guy for dinner it's super common i'm not a feminist but i am a human rights
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activist it's not about like women being any you know like but there is it's a 21st century and
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there's equality what made you laugh sir and the reality is a lot of women would accept dates from
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men maybe pay 50 50 and then you know a lot of women would accept dates from men that they already
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know they are not going to want to for that after that they're probably not going to want to see them
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again so yeah that's wrong that's wrong if you know you're clear and you're doing this that's
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i totally agree but the point i'm trying to make is that that is very common it is very very common
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i know it sounds weird but it's reality it is common it may be 10 years ago it wasn't that common but
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right now today it's like you said it's celebrated on tiktok you can just open tiktok you see it everywhere
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you know what's crazy though she can come on here or other platforms and say this nobody's
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gonna bat an eye but if guys say to spin plates everybody freaks out if they say to sleep with
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multiple women talk to as many women as possible everybody freaks out and they even if the women
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agree to it like i mean how how often will i just reacted to a video of like this christian person
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basically like um i forgot her name but she was like shaming you know justin waller because j waller
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was saying like basically he does the non-monogamy stuff or he talks about it i don't know but it's
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like um it's just interesting how it's like women can talk about spinning plates and it's fine but if
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men talk about spinning plates it's not yeah it has become a touchy subject i suppose um uh where it
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started from is to protect women but it has gone the other side extreme the question is like what about
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all the men giving her attention so like let's protect the men you know i know like in indian
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culture there is there is now a thing because in india women get a lot of power comparing to men so
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it's like woman has right men has to chase women like this is like a done thing like they're around
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their beauty and i've met men who was really struggle with that concept and they says um you know if you
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divorce them you have to give them money they are they are in power they are in high five jobs and
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they run the shows and they really they really struggle men really struggle and have huge fear
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around it so that part in this world exists and i agree with you it needs to be spoken about like
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you know it needs to be given equal um importance to what women suffer sometimes women abuse not sometimes
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sounds like it a lot of the time they do i i'm on the other side of it though having six brothers i
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always like it it burns my um blood when people say oh it's the men who is at fault kind of thing and
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i'm like no my my point is the women have all the choice like because we are born with value we have
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all the choice the men do not have choice i mean some men do but most men don't i feel and so that's why
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like with women it's like i kind of don't have any sympathy for your lot in life myself as well every
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everything everything you do in life i just think is your own fault and i think that a lot of times
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women aren't aware of how hard dating is for men exactly i i think where i give uh that see the
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difference is women are very vocal emotional we get to share with we love to be the victim we love to
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bitch and moan about how hard dating is men don't really complain like that they don't really suffer
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in silence a lot like we just love and express i mean even in this whole thing like she they're
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yelling at me for kicking them out when how many times did i warn them how many times did i warn them
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i warn them i warn them so many times and now victim it's like craziness