JustPearlyThings - Psychologist's ADVICE for SINGLE Women

00:00:00.000 the the tinder thing right and imagine like dating apps aren't the best place for women 1.00

00:00:05.680 no no no yes but you need to know how to do it so yeah so this is i'm just going to ask you so

00:00:10.720 based on your your practice i'd imagine like women swipe too high on dating apps because we 1.00

00:00:16.320 only swipe right five percent of the time we find eighty percent of them i'm sure you know

00:00:20.000 the numbers so it's like if you go on a date with a guy from a dating app he's probably dating like

00:00:24.000 you must be honest yeah and you only say i am now in choice we can drink a coffee we can speak

00:00:32.080 but you need to do something to show me that you want to be with me because today men go with woman

00:00:38.720 in park even don't give one rose today men very often go to meeting because i work every day with

00:00:44.800 dating in uk and men even go with not clean clothes not iron clothes and men come and say do you want

00:00:53.040 to go to my room i'm so sorry but don't you think that's like the quality this is laughable a real

00:00:58.160 man you don't have to say can you give me a rose can you give show me show me show me uh i i think

00:01:04.400 the issue is i will give you a rose well well i don't i don't know if a real man like

00:01:12.400 i don't even want to talk about real versus not but my my thing is i think it speaks to the quality of

00:01:17.360 the women though and so it's like obviously if the women are lower quality than ever before the men are

00:01:22.720 going to treat them traditionally because it's like even if the 42 year old why would she get 1.00

00:01:26.560 a traditional outcome you know i work very often with very successful women in career yeah and but 1.00

00:01:32.560 they have very low level of self-confidence as women because for example her mother always told 0.99

00:01:38.720 her you are very ugly her father was very toxic narcissistic yeah every day i work with this she can 1.00

00:01:45.040 be financial director and be company a lawyer but when men stay to her she don't know how to be a woman 1.00

00:01:51.360 she doesn't know but the men but the men you know men don't care about your career though exactly

00:01:55.280 that stuff is valuable to be beautiful right and to be sexy and to be attractive he doesn't care how

00:02:00.880 many education you have and if you have a phd right but i i really think i don't find that women are 1.00

00:02:07.040 maybe it's in different countries i don't know i i find that they're they're they have too high of

00:02:11.120 standards not too low yes because because it's like they find 80 of men is ugly so that that means that

00:02:18.720 means they're all men don't need to be beautiful men need to be honest man need to be strong

00:02:23.200 i need to have a realization of his mission right social successful and to be a man he don't need

00:02:28.800 to be beautiful woman must be beautiful yeah and i agree with you but i'm saying in the west that's 0.99

00:02:33.360 that's how we select typically is more based on looks because we are women sometimes stupid and we 1.00

00:02:38.080 are women sometimes go and to choose his good looking can i say wait wait wait he has his house he can 0.98

00:02:43.200 take care about you he is responsible he is honest he lie you and i spoke also with men he say me if i

00:02:50.080 feel that woman uh catch up on me i don't think just think of her i want other woman and then if i 0.98

00:02:56.400 feel that i have competitors yeah it's activate me because i know that she has another four who drink

00:03:02.320 coffee play tennis and i say i must be better than others and then i want to run for her then i want to

00:03:08.480 do something for her competitors activate normal men if men of uh not if female men of course he will 0.97

00:03:16.640 go far away but man he feel that he can lost and really like and you are very right need to be high

00:03:22.880 level of woman of course you're smart you just drink a coffee again i say you don't sleep with them 1.00

00:03:28.960 you're in choice you're go to market you say i'm a single woman i'm just thinking five that's a lot

00:03:34.560 though a minimum five can be ten i think i think that's so like i almost think that's like disrespectful

00:03:41.600 to a guy what she's trying to say there which i think i'm getting her point and i got your point as

00:03:47.120 well yeah is i think what she's trying to say um is um no not to have a backup it's more to do with

00:03:55.840 the development for a woman you're not attached to that one person that you jump to it and put all

00:04:04.080 like it's don't you think don't you think don't you think that's what's like beautiful about being

00:04:09.120 a woman though is you get attached if there's no attachment you're gonna leave that guy with 1.00

00:04:13.520 a click of a finger there's no respect no no no but what what do you mention is the first guy left

00:04:20.880 her after sleeping with her instantly so what she's trying to say why did she sleep with him so quick

00:04:26.560 exactly because she's not his man and the first man he gave her attention when i want to i'm sorry

00:04:33.040 when she talks when she talks to four five men but from a respectful place she's not being like

00:04:39.600 flirty or giving herself away she's developing yeah she's developing this quality to 0.92

00:04:46.720 bring boundaries for herself right but i'm just i'm just thinking if you're talking to five men you

00:04:51.680 still have a favorite friends you have brothers you have you have friends and brothers and dads and

00:04:56.800 step-dads and whatever to do that kind of stuff random men on a dating app past one and it's

00:05:04.000 serious you're talking you're it's wrong it's disturbing is it is it what are the guys thinking

00:05:10.240 this yeah real real quick i say this to the lady behind me is it fair to generalize all men like this

00:05:17.600 for example if i were to say all women who are allowed and obnoxious like you usually wind up 1.00

00:05:26.560 having a divorce would that be fair 0.93

00:05:32.960 i think people get divorced for different reasons different reasons and generalizing someone anyone

00:05:41.760 no it's not fair no it's not fair but did i generalize no it's not fair but i also think a

00:05:49.760 woman has the power to uh develop herself look it's like how do you know to swim until you go in the 1.00

00:05:56.880 water so you figure out your boundaries your respect you're not sleeping with that person but you're also

00:06:06.000 then getting awareness of okay there is different variety of mans they have different values they

00:06:11.920 have different standards and whoever from those five will pick me and then i under i understand like

00:06:19.040 i understand where she's coming from like i so i'm not even discrediting and i'm just but i'm just wait

00:06:24.800 wait so i'm i'm just thinking like that's just sounds like more for traditional women which don't really

00:06:30.000 exist anymore like that sounds like more traditional courting you know you know what i mean uh depend

00:06:36.160 feminist and not feminist a lot of women prefer to survive alone and it's very difficult in this 0.99

00:06:41.040 world yeah for example i am not from this i believe that men need to be with a woman and i cannot without

00:06:46.160 men i i drive a car but i prefer my partner always to drive a car i think women shouldn't drive yeah 1.00

00:06:51.600 yeah but you are honest again i say you say man i am single i like to meet with people i like to

00:06:58.480 communicate you play tennis you go to drink coffee you don't social place because you need to

00:07:03.600 understand what you want when you're divorced when you're single you don't know if you don't

00:07:07.600 communicate with different type of people different age different culture how you can know then you

00:07:12.560 take the first and you do the same mistake because you already wants attention yeah communicate understand

00:07:18.160 what do you what do you think about what specific the five men speak to at the same time but don't sleep

00:07:24.560 with them do you think that's like do you think that's disrespectful if you were like courting a

00:07:28.880 girl and she was talking to five other guys at the same time you know it's interesting i struggled

00:07:33.120 with jealousy uh almost my entire life and i finally realized and this is especially if you're

00:07:40.240 a man who struggles with jealousy the way i did you know i'm mediterranean middle eastern man

00:07:44.000 so maybe it's a genetic thing i struggled with jealousy really bad i was pretty controlling

00:07:49.920 and uh it wasn't until i actually met my wife that i realized i couldn't stop a woman from lying and 0.58

00:07:55.760 cheating to me and i've been cheated on and uh and that's painful as fuck so i realized if you can't 0.99

00:08:02.320 control a woman just relax and be confident and if she fucks around on you that's her loss now one more 1.00

00:08:09.680 thing i want to say i trust my wife i also think that you can stop that problem by just meeting a woman 0.98

00:08:17.040 who has those values i never have to worry about my i don't even care about going through my wife's

00:08:22.320 phone but if i wanted to i could exactly yeah if i wanted to go through my wife's phone i could in 0.99

00:08:28.960 fact my wife i have the opposite problem my wife likes to go through my phone and i get really hurt 1.00

00:08:35.440 by that because i feel like why don't you trust me i don't go through your phone why would you go through

00:08:40.080 my phone now she doesn't do it as much um but you know i had to i had to you don't want to live a

00:08:47.680 life where you're going crazy wondering is your woman getting by you know some big guy

00:08:53.920 no but i'm just asking like if you found out a girl was doing what she yeah but to answer your question

00:08:59.280 i wouldn't deal with it i'd leave her there's no way i would be with a woman and she and i'm seeing

00:09:05.840 she's talking to johnny at 2 a.m he he he on text message i'd leave her i don't give a 0.98

00:09:10.800 fuck because i know my worth you know i think are there men though that would um go along with what 0.94

00:09:17.840 she's saying yeah but what she's saying is advocating on women's behalf and i get that i can respect that 1.00

00:09:23.920 but if you're a man you're making money you're taking care of your mind your body you know you got 0.92

00:09:28.320 a good faith with the lord have some self-respect have some fucking self-respect that if a woman behaves 0.98

00:09:35.600 like that you drop the hole straight up so what um my question here is like when you're at the very 0.99

00:09:44.000 start of the relationship where you just started saying hello to four five different people and then

00:09:49.920 somebody come forward and then said they are interested in you then you drop all the other

00:09:55.200 men and then you're focusing on that person when you're in relationship you stay monogamic it's not

00:10:00.160 discussed but before to be in monogamic relationship partner need to show you i want to be

00:10:05.520 with you i am have interest with you not like cheeky chicken he disappear and he cry alone especially

00:10:10.960 the point you raised about a woman chooses like you know it's her decision she made and she attracted

00:10:17.600 somebody now the very first guy that came into your life and if you don't give yourself that choice of

00:10:25.360 actually for that you have to go out and look out and see which one it is but he's absolutely right

00:10:31.600 if i am giving somebody this idea of i'm in relationship with you and i'm talking to five

00:10:36.720 other people that's no but i i think he's talking i think he's talking about even early on like i

00:10:41.520 i just think if you're talking like this is just my opinion but i think if you're talking to five

00:10:45.200 guys like i don't know how you keep track to be honest how can you talk to five guys it just seems to be

00:10:51.200 like taking attention from men to feel your ego you know i have a lot of single moms which i married 1.00

00:10:57.680 and i help them and i say go out oh i cannot i'm tired you want to be married or you don't want i have

00:11:03.520 one single man she come to me 42 she was very uh suffering with her son and i told her go up and 0.89

00:11:10.880 speak with minimum five men she go to drink coffee with five from this five she likes four she go from

00:11:16.960 dinner uh with four after from four she choose two with them she go more close and from this two 0.91

00:11:24.000 she choose one now already she's married 10 years and guy amazing very careful out here they know that

00:11:29.680 she's single she's looking and uh a very very big successful man men also respect when woman honest

00:11:37.680 and yes of course you have a choice and you need to do something to be with you you know what you

00:11:42.800 know a clear definition of misandry i'll give you a great example of of of misandry and in pop culture

00:11:50.080 in america there is a tick tocker i'm not going to say her name so the video doesn't get pulled down

00:11:55.280 she made a video talking about how she saved a lot of money going on a date like six nights a week

00:12:02.960 basically she would go with a different guy every night and she would save the money and 1.00

00:12:06.800 she was giving this as a personal finance hack now this is not even comedy this is finance

00:12:11.600 on tick tock the most degenerate app aside from snapchat and that gets promoted she has millions 1.00

00:12:17.840 of followers she's getting corporate sponsorship deals but if you see a video of like let's say

00:12:23.760 sneeko tristan tate myself other guys that's talking about you should have some self-respect for yourself

00:12:30.000 that gets pulled down for hate speech yeah yeah it's crazy i just think a lot of times like men

00:12:38.560 like i don't know i would just be really frustrated if i like if i was a dude and i'm paying for this

00:12:45.360 girl's dinner she's talking to five other dudes or ten you know i mean this this this influencer was

00:12:50.800 literally celebrating honest though you know you don't go a meeting and say hello i have five minutes

00:12:55.840 to speak you say i'm single and i'm looking you don't give discuss express and men do the same man he's

00:13:03.280 looking he do the same i make a session with men's men do the same when he looking closer he go out and

00:13:09.040 he meet he don't take the first woman which you see in tinder and to marry her yeah but the difference

00:13:13.920 with men is that while men are doing that they are paying for it through their pockets women are doing 0.99

00:13:19.120 that free of charge depend no it doesn't depend most of the time women are not going on dates paying for 1.00

00:13:25.280 the dates most of the time facts facts you can go play tennis you can go to park i mean literally

00:13:31.600 this girl you anyone can fact check me hold on anyone can fact check me you can go on new york post

00:13:37.680 and look at the article they wrote about this influencer not a comedy influencer a finance influencer

00:13:43.040 saying how she's encouraging women basically to go on dates with men no chance of getting some 0.98

00:13:49.680 pussy you're not gonna the guy you're gonna go on a date you're gonna mislead the guy get a free 1.00

00:13:55.200 dinner go home and do that six nights a week to save money and she's being celebrated in the media and 0.99

00:14:02.400 on tick tock and she's verified but then if i say something about men having some self-respect for

00:14:08.560 themselves or other creators like sneeko tristan tate they're all banned all of us got banned but she's

00:14:14.240 promoted make that make sense yeah it's super wrong no that that it's abuse of uh you know

00:14:22.400 first it's different topic and it's not common uh no it's very common it's very common literally

00:14:31.520 i can't remember what percent it was over half of women have admitted to going on a man with

00:14:36.000 going on a date with a guy for dinner it's super common i'm not a feminist but i am a human rights

00:14:41.760 activist it's not about like women being any you know like but there is it's a 21st century and

00:14:50.800 there's equality what made you laugh sir and the reality is a lot of women would accept dates from

00:14:56.400 men maybe pay 50 50 and then you know a lot of women would accept dates from men that they already 0.87

00:15:01.600 know they are not going to want to for that after that they're probably not going to want to see them

00:15:06.240 again so yeah that's wrong that's wrong if you know you're clear and you're doing this that's

00:15:12.000 i totally agree but the point i'm trying to make is that that is very common it is very very common

00:15:17.520 i know it sounds weird but it's reality it is common it may be 10 years ago it wasn't that common but

00:15:22.960 right now today it's like you said it's celebrated on tiktok you can just open tiktok you see it everywhere

00:15:27.680 you know what's crazy though she can come on here or other platforms and say this nobody's 1.00

00:15:32.240 gonna bat an eye but if guys say to spin plates everybody freaks out if they say to sleep with

00:15:38.240 multiple women talk to as many women as possible everybody freaks out and they even if the women 1.00

00:15:44.560 agree to it like i mean how how often will i just reacted to a video of like this christian person

00:15:51.200 basically like um i forgot her name but she was like shaming you know justin waller because j waller

00:15:57.280 was saying like basically he does the non-monogamy stuff or he talks about it i don't know but it's

00:16:04.240 like um it's just interesting how it's like women can talk about spinning plates and it's fine but if 0.99

00:16:08.960 men talk about spinning plates it's not yeah it has become a touchy subject i suppose um uh where it

00:16:16.160 started from is to protect women but it has gone the other side extreme the question is like what about

00:16:22.560 all the men giving her attention so like let's protect the men you know i know like in indian 0.92

00:16:28.240 culture there is there is now a thing because in india women get a lot of power comparing to men so 0.92

00:16:35.600 it's like woman has right men has to chase women like this is like a done thing like they're around 0.86

00:16:41.520 their beauty and i've met men who was really struggle with that concept and they says um you know if you

00:16:48.720 divorce them you have to give them money they are they are in power they are in high five jobs and

00:16:54.160 they run the shows and they really they really struggle men really struggle and have huge fear

00:17:00.000 around it so that part in this world exists and i agree with you it needs to be spoken about like

00:17:07.520 you know it needs to be given equal um importance to what women suffer sometimes women abuse not sometimes

00:17:16.320 sounds like it a lot of the time they do i i'm on the other side of it though having six brothers i

00:17:22.480 always like it it burns my um blood when people say oh it's the men who is at fault kind of thing and

00:17:29.280 i'm like no my my point is the women have all the choice like because we are born with value we have 0.98

00:17:35.520 all the choice the men do not have choice i mean some men do but most men don't i feel and so that's why

00:17:41.280 like with women it's like i kind of don't have any sympathy for your lot in life myself as well every 0.99

00:17:46.240 everything everything you do in life i just think is your own fault and i think that a lot of times

00:17:52.080 women aren't aware of how hard dating is for men exactly i i think where i give uh that see the 0.73

00:18:00.000 difference is women are very vocal emotional we get to share with we love to be the victim we love to 1.00

00:18:07.760 bitch and moan about how hard dating is men don't really complain like that they don't really suffer 0.93

00:18:14.480 in silence a lot like we just love and express i mean even in this whole thing like she they're 0.99

00:18:19.760 yelling at me for kicking them out when how many times did i warn them how many times did i warn them

00:18:24.720 i warn them i warn them so many times and now victim it's like craziness

00:18:36.960 you

JustPearlyThings - July 05, 2023

Psychologist's ADVICE for SINGLE Women

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