JustPearlyThings - April 08, 2023


Red Pilled Man NARRATES How He Got Married


Episode Stats


Length

14 minutes

Words per minute

212.71779

Word count

3,101

Sentence count

348

Harmful content

Misogyny

25

sentences flagged

Hate speech

11

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about how important it is to be the change in your life and in your business. We also talk about the importance of having a healthy mindset and how to deal with people criticising you.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You've got to be the change.
00:00:01.360 See, I just sometimes you guys are saying things and I feel like they mean nothing.
00:00:05.560 No.
00:00:06.060 That's because if you feel the hardship and if you feel the, if you've been through the
00:00:11.520 hardship and you've gone through the cycle of actually, okay, getting out from this hardship,
00:00:16.260 then you'd, you'd understand the feeling.
00:00:18.380 If you don't understand the feeling and if you haven't gone through the process, it's
00:00:21.760 really hard to understand.
00:00:22.960 But I'm not saying it's not about the feeling.
00:00:24.340 Like if we're talking about success, right?
00:00:26.480 Business success.
00:00:26.780 If we're talking about business success, it's what, what are you doing?
00:00:29.500 So I'll give you an example.
00:00:30.880 When I first started this, all right, it was just me.
00:00:33.320 I was in a living room in a small apartment in East London and I was running to the gym
00:00:38.200 trying to get people to get the gym to come on my podcast.
00:00:41.720 And then I could say, this is what I'm doing.
00:00:43.900 But it's like, when we talk about, oh, this feeling revolving mentally, it's like, it's
00:00:48.240 like, what is it?
00:00:50.140 That's what I'm saying.
00:00:51.280 You've come from a privileged place where your mindset has been amazing for you.
00:00:55.880 I had to change my mindset, babe.
00:00:58.080 I had to change it.
00:00:58.860 You're 39.
00:00:59.600 This is like a conversation with a 60-year-old.
00:01:01.300 And I started changing my mindset, say, about 27, 28, when I realized that I had to deprogram.
00:01:07.500 Your new mindset as a teenager.
00:01:11.760 But what are the results?
00:01:14.120 Like, that's my thing.
00:01:14.860 The results is...
00:01:15.860 The results is you still can't have a conversation without getting defensive.
00:01:20.020 No, because...
00:01:20.300 And it's like, I need to be right.
00:01:21.320 I'm telling you.
00:01:21.620 When you're being attacked from people that don't know your life story or know your current...
00:01:26.580 But this is what I just said.
00:01:27.680 Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:01:28.680 No one's not attacking you.
00:01:29.620 No one's not attacking you.
00:01:29.680 No one's not attacking you.
00:01:30.120 No one's not attacking you.
00:01:30.420 We were talking about being successful in business.
00:01:31.820 What's the word?
00:01:31.920 Give me the right word, then.
00:01:33.060 No, but...
00:01:33.660 Give me the right word.
00:01:34.300 You're coming across a little bit defensive.
00:01:36.200 Defensive.
00:01:36.840 And the topic was...
00:01:37.880 Yeah.
00:01:38.440 You've got to be.
00:01:38.960 The subject was about profession, like, in business, being successful in business.
00:01:43.680 We want to be.
00:01:44.260 Yeah.
00:01:44.620 So, but what you...
00:01:46.080 But the conversation has gone into, like, a spiritual journey and...
00:01:49.560 It has to be.
00:01:50.740 But that's not business.
00:01:52.140 That's totally separate.
00:01:53.060 Logic and emotion are two completely different things.
00:01:54.800 No, I'm sorry.
00:01:55.740 I'm not going to need to change.
00:01:57.000 Okay, wait.
00:01:57.580 Wait, I'm not going to let them go.
00:01:59.080 I can see, basically, I get what you're saying.
00:02:02.220 Everything's about feelings, emotions, but that's not what business is about.
00:02:05.180 But sometimes people actually don't know business and they need to learn their lessons and then
00:02:10.560 they get business and then they flourish.
00:02:12.900 And I think that's where she's coming from.
00:02:15.840 And I get your point as well, because I get it when you say, but you're talking about
00:02:19.760 feelings and things, but feelings get involved when you learn a lesson and then you need
00:02:24.940 to try again, get back up, fail, try again.
00:02:28.100 So, is that what happened to you?
00:02:30.400 I don't know.
00:02:31.020 You don't need to answer.
00:02:31.720 Actually, don't answer.
00:02:32.260 I had to reprogram.
00:02:33.620 So, probably did.
00:02:34.800 I'm going to read the Super Chats really quick. 0.99
00:02:38.200 Okay, guys, thank you for the Super Chats.
00:02:40.760 Blessing, what are we saving for right now?
00:02:42.500 We're doing a third studio.
00:02:43.800 What do you want in it?
00:02:44.880 What's your dream wish list?
00:02:46.920 Yeah, we need more cameras.
00:02:48.740 Blessing, I've given you so many cameras.
00:02:51.660 How many more do you want?
00:02:53.460 More.
00:02:54.020 Oh, my gosh.
00:02:55.900 Hi, could you pass out?
00:02:58.400 Fine, guys, we're going to get Blessing another camera.
00:03:00.780 Do you guys see how many cameras we have?
00:03:02.680 There are so many.
00:03:03.540 He's a camera, really?
00:03:04.700 He's a camera.
00:03:05.360 That's what I said.
00:03:06.100 He's a camera addict.
00:03:08.900 He's lucky he's talented.
00:03:10.760 Okay, Chris.
00:03:12.100 Abby prioritizes winning an argument over learning from others.
00:03:15.600 Stand your ground and be wrong.
00:03:16.800 You are being heard, but you are still broke and alone.
00:03:19.340 Amelia, have her back in a year to see if she made it. 1.00
00:03:21.500 Zoroslaw, notice how masculine men in suits and feminine women left to the couch listens
00:03:27.340 to understand, but masculine women and feminine men listen to respond with emotion. 0.95
00:03:32.420 Zoroslaw, thank you.
00:03:34.620 I'm going to be 39 years old.
00:03:35.620 You're a prime example that I've made a great decision to invest in nimble food, wine, and IVF.
00:03:41.740 Fellas, let's make our monies. 1.00
00:03:43.980 Johnny, Dimitri is king.
00:03:45.480 I need to afford a maid. 1.00
00:03:48.520 You're something.
00:03:49.920 Some women only believe in spousal abuse statistics. 0.99
00:03:53.060 Matt Butcher, ladies, if you're in a good man's shoes, men lose half their shit in kids. 1.00
00:03:57.580 Women very, very rarely go through that. 1.00
00:03:59.240 I've seen men go through that repeatedly.
00:04:01.460 Men get effed. 0.52
00:04:02.120 It's extremely disappointing.
00:04:04.000 90 frito pie.
00:04:05.700 Women cannot be honest because they always have someone in mind they don't want to hurt. 1.00
00:04:10.400 You can't be honest about relationships until you realize the truth about your own parents.
00:04:14.560 Have you done that?
00:04:16.400 Fast, Clara.
00:04:17.200 Women don't like numbers, and they don't paint a pretty picture for them. 1.00
00:04:20.900 Say this.
00:04:21.420 Women are beautiful. 1.00
00:04:22.720 You know what you're worth.
00:04:26.500 Not really.
00:04:27.520 Reality is harsh.
00:04:28.520 Only women and children are allowed to live in delusion. 1.00
00:04:31.620 90 frito pie.
00:04:32.800 Pearl.
00:04:34.840 Scream for peace.
00:04:36.480 Successful wives of wealthy men are like good dance partners and know how to lead and when to back lead. 1.00
00:04:43.540 Interracial relationships.
00:04:45.680 Coming from a sex-positive lifestyle, trauma, a life-changing experience, when changes your entire core belief and or personality.
00:04:53.780 Do women understand the importance of sex men require for commitment?
00:04:59.100 Matt Butcher.
00:04:59.840 Can you wife a 304? 0.99
00:05:01.360 Unstable people seek out enablers to validate their behavior.
00:05:04.540 Thus a downward spiral.
00:05:05.640 Identify it.
00:05:06.520 Don't get sucked into it.
00:05:07.620 Great job reading Super Chats today.
00:05:09.420 Pearl.
00:05:09.780 Dion, Dimitri is the godfather of this show.
00:05:13.720 The others need to pay attention to him and listen to him.
00:05:15.740 He knows his stuff.
00:05:16.840 Doug MPA.
00:05:17.740 The panel doesn't deserve to share the room with Dimitri.
00:05:21.120 He has so much knowledge, and you are squashing this opportunity.
00:05:24.220 Listen and learn.
00:05:24.840 YT Silk is a woman who overlooks red flags. 1.00
00:05:30.420 Trustworthy.
00:05:31.120 Matt Butcher.
00:05:32.780 50s to 60s ladies. 0.68
00:05:34.300 I want someone to grow old with equals I want someone to fund my retirement.
00:05:38.480 Okay.
00:05:38.900 So back to the wife of health. 0.99
00:05:41.320 Yeah, me too.
00:05:42.200 Can someone please fund my retirement as well?
00:05:46.140 Yeah.
00:05:47.020 Me too.
00:05:47.400 Nothing, by the way, gives me more pleasure than to provide for my wife.
00:05:50.740 Like, it's so fun because, man, I went to the airport this morning, and I'm stupid.
00:05:56.840 I forgot my passport.
00:05:58.160 I called my wife.
00:05:59.520 She's like, did you forget passport?
00:06:00.580 I'm like, yes, I did.
00:06:01.580 She's like, I'll be right there.
00:06:02.900 She literally dropped everything, like, got whichever kid was at home in the car and drove 1.00
00:06:08.520 straight to the airport.
00:06:10.160 And as I said, it's her 10-year wedding anniversary.
00:06:12.960 And I said, I'm so glad.
00:06:14.820 You know, if I wasn't married to you for these last 10 years, I would be missing a flight right
00:06:17.760 now.
00:06:17.960 But, you know, but there are so many little things that she'll do to, like, actually make 0.98
00:06:23.780 my life easier because she's actually figured.
00:06:26.740 That's beautiful.
00:06:27.280 But it wasn't because, like, she figured out that, like.
00:06:30.220 It's because she loves you as well.
00:06:31.700 Well, of course.
00:06:32.880 I hope.
00:06:33.420 I mean, I would hope.
00:06:34.600 She loves you and she knows that you love her.
00:06:37.440 But, you know, it's like, I'd love to find somebody to fund my retirement.
00:06:40.180 Well, actually, let's just say that's true.
00:06:41.620 Of course you would.
00:06:42.520 Of course you would.
00:06:43.120 Who wouldn't want that, right?
00:06:44.000 But it's like, are you the person, like, are you a person that guy picks?
00:06:46.880 And that's a question.
00:06:48.560 We talk about this in business.
00:06:49.940 It's like you see a prospect he doesn't buy.
00:06:52.000 It's like that prospect is going to buy that product somewhere at some point.
00:06:55.740 But are you being the person that that prospect wants to buy from?
00:07:00.460 You know, and so it shifts the responsibility on me to better my.
00:07:04.240 And so I'll tell you guys, I was 22 years old.
00:07:08.960 I was sitting down with a mentor of mine who had, like, a massive impact on my life.
00:07:11.740 He was about 40 years old, like, extremely successful with women, with finances, everything.
00:07:16.580 The guy was just a stud, went on to become a VP of a public company that sold for, like,
00:07:20.440 a billion dollars.
00:07:21.140 Just crazy.
00:07:22.040 Private company sold.
00:07:22.800 It was crazy.
00:07:23.960 And I asked him.
00:07:24.760 And I was really, really frustrated.
00:07:25.980 I was 22 years old.
00:07:27.040 I hadn't got laid in about a year.
00:07:29.860 That's 22.
00:07:30.600 Sorry, how about 22?
00:07:31.540 I was 22 and been laid in about a year.
00:07:33.480 Wow, was it a bad choice?
00:07:35.420 Because, because, look, look, I didn't kiss the girl until I was 20.
00:07:38.180 That's why.
00:07:38.660 Because I needed to, I didn't understand the reality of what I was dealing with.
00:07:41.880 I had delusions in my mind.
00:07:43.060 Like, I thought I would meet a girl at 20 and marry her because my grandparents were both married
00:07:46.120 until everybody died.
00:07:47.180 All both sets of grandparents.
00:07:48.380 Dimitri, can I ask you something?
00:07:50.060 Yeah.
00:07:50.260 Like, what's your thoughts?
00:07:53.440 Obviously, you're a married man.
00:07:54.920 And I've always wanted to ask Amanda's, obviously, of your level.
00:07:59.540 And it's like, what do you think about, what's it called again?
00:08:03.300 The prenup.
00:08:04.740 Yeah.
00:08:05.220 What do you think about that?
00:08:06.340 Does it go against the marriages of this girl?
00:08:08.120 Man, I have some really controversial opinions on this.
00:08:11.380 And if you'd like me to share, I'll share.
00:08:13.540 Share.
00:08:14.040 One and I.
00:08:14.580 I had two conditions, three conditions for getting married.
00:08:18.540 The first condition was my wife has to take my last name. 1.00
00:08:22.340 It wasn't a religious choice.
00:08:23.800 It was that a mentor of mine told me that it signified something.
00:08:26.540 My mom didn't take my dad's last name and they got divorced.
00:08:28.780 And I saw that my mom didn't respect my dad like I felt he deserved the respect.
00:08:31.900 Even though he suffered, he suffered with dignity.
00:08:34.280 That was number one.
00:08:36.020 Number two, no prenup.
00:08:37.920 That was a decision I made principally.
00:08:39.780 I made the decision, no prenup.
00:08:41.560 Like, I told my wife, like, I didn't know if I was ever going to get married.
00:08:45.400 But if I went for it, I was going to go all in.
00:08:47.540 But I'm going to make a real strategic decision.
00:08:49.720 I'm going to go all frickin' in.
00:08:52.220 That's the way it should be.
00:08:53.400 That was my choice.
00:08:56.380 And I admit, it might not be the most.
00:08:57.940 People are going to say, oh, but you're a businessman.
00:08:59.820 You're making a risk mitigating decision.
00:09:02.940 I made a choice.
00:09:04.000 But, you know, I'll tell you something.
00:09:04.960 My wife's told me this many, many times, like, sort of in a playful way.
00:09:07.940 Kind of talk, you know, because we have hard conversations sometimes.
00:09:09.980 She's like, look, if you divorce me, I don't want any money.
00:09:11.780 She just said, I just want to make sure that I have the kids. 1.00
00:09:13.860 And I said, that's great.
00:09:15.740 That's what I want, too.
00:09:16.960 Right?
00:09:18.380 But I made that decision.
00:09:20.160 I made that decision to step into that and say, I'm going to risk everything.
00:09:23.760 Because maybe it's a courageous, you know, delusion that I had at the time.
00:09:27.360 And maybe I'm just lucky that it worked out the way it has so far.
00:09:29.920 So would you say that there's no wrong or right when it comes to that kind of decision?
00:09:34.660 Like, is it down to you as an individual?
00:09:36.860 Because it is like a business kind of decision as well.
00:09:38.800 Marriage to me was, look, again, 85% of millions.
00:09:42.720 Are the laws different in the country you're in?
00:09:45.380 I got married in Canada first.
00:09:47.140 Okay.
00:09:47.620 Imagine worse.
00:09:48.740 That is a terrible place to do it, right?
00:09:50.800 Really?
00:09:52.460 Why?
00:09:53.560 Well, because the Canadian court system just is like Australia or the U.S.
00:09:57.180 It just really favors women. 1.00
00:09:59.360 But you know what?
00:10:00.540 But I felt like I vouched my wife's character.
00:10:02.280 You know what's crazy is my wife's never had a public Instagram.
00:10:04.420 I'll just tell you right now.
00:10:05.060 She never had it.
00:10:05.640 And by the way, people that meet my wife, they're like, wow, Dimitri, like, really?
00:10:08.200 Like, they're impressed that I got a girl of that caliber.
00:10:10.280 Because she's, you know, 5'10", blonde. 1.00
00:10:12.220 Don't nod your head.
00:10:12.960 You've met her.
00:10:13.560 No, not cool.
00:10:15.100 You know, my wife's like, I have a type. 1.00
00:10:17.620 And it's her.
00:10:18.100 Like, 5'10", blonde.
00:10:19.720 Like, you know, people say, wow, is she like a model or something? 0.99
00:10:21.900 Because, you know, so I did well in that regard.
00:10:24.400 But I vouched her.
00:10:25.200 I, like, vetted her character.
00:10:26.540 So, like, no public Instagram.
00:10:28.400 I'm going to say this.
00:10:29.260 No tattoos, no piercings.
00:10:30.620 Okay, hate me.
00:10:31.160 I don't care.
00:10:31.500 No tattoos, no piercings, no public Instagram.
00:10:33.900 Great relationship with her dad.
00:10:35.200 Her dad's a heart surgeon.
00:10:36.120 Like, incredible, like, successful, stern man.
00:10:38.760 Great relationship.
00:10:39.480 One of three sisters.
00:10:40.360 She's the oldest of three.
00:10:43.300 Educated.
00:10:44.320 Could have a lot of dudes.
00:10:46.140 Chose not to.
00:10:47.620 And, in fact, I was my wife.
00:10:49.040 And I have my wife's first and only serious relationship.
00:10:52.360 Wow.
00:10:52.920 So, I guess if you choose right.
00:10:55.200 You don't need the prince for life.
00:10:56.960 Well, and, of course, like, what bigger decision can a man make than to get married?
00:11:00.440 Like, everything right.
00:11:01.400 But I kind of hear what he's saying.
00:11:04.560 I think when you're looking for a partner, you need to actually look at, do they actually,
00:11:10.760 little things, does it match with the person?
00:11:14.220 And if the little things match, and if you can deal with one another's differences in opinions, I think that's a winner.
00:11:21.920 Because then you're showing that you have respect and you're listening and you're working as a team.
00:11:27.220 How a relationship should be.
00:11:28.920 So, I have a question.
00:11:30.300 Can I finish my, sorry.
00:11:31.680 Go ahead.
00:11:32.340 I was going to say, so I'm sitting with my mentor.
00:11:33.940 I'm 22 years old.
00:11:34.840 I remember it very vividly.
00:11:35.760 Like, I got to the party late.
00:11:37.560 You know what I mean?
00:11:37.940 Like, I didn't kiss a girl until I was 20.
00:11:40.120 And then, like, I'm 22 and I'm single and I'm frustrated.
00:11:43.200 And my life is not going the way I want it to go.
00:11:45.420 And I'm like, why am I, like, why?
00:11:47.420 By the way, by 23, a lot of things.
00:11:49.140 I bought my first house at 23 and I was a full-time university student.
00:11:51.720 So, like, there was a lot of changes that I was undergoing.
00:11:53.860 Like, I started going to the gym.
00:11:54.760 I started doing things that sucked.
00:11:57.060 Like, I took cold showers every freaking morning.
00:11:59.260 In fact, my 1988 Toyota Corolla, actual 1988 Toyota Corolla that I took a girl on a date on,
00:12:04.760 told me that she'll never go on a date with me again because my car smells like old people. 1.00
00:12:07.620 And she thought I was a psycho, which makes sense because my Corolla had a Ferrari sticker on the steering wheel.
00:12:12.580 Tony Robbins, no, it was Napoleon Hill, secrets of whatever, Napoleon Hill playing.
00:12:16.360 And motivational quotes posted on all the mirrors.
00:12:18.440 So, I look like a crazy person, right?
00:12:20.380 So, anyways, 22.
00:12:21.480 I'm sitting with a mentor of mine.
00:12:22.840 I'm like, and I said, dude, like, how do I get a happy and successful girlfriend?
00:12:26.800 I want a girlfriend.
00:12:27.980 I don't want her.
00:12:28.380 You're saying you've done the mentoring for the girlfriend.
00:12:30.980 Well, I just, that's who I was at 22.
00:12:32.720 Yeah.
00:12:33.260 And I said, I respect it, though.
00:12:34.840 Well, listen, they're a sport movie.
00:12:36.820 You're approaching, I'm in a respectful way.
00:12:39.240 Some people are boring.
00:12:40.160 I had a, I went through that other phase too, by the way.
00:12:43.380 Like, I went through that.
00:12:46.100 And if you're listening to Napoleon Hill at 22, wow.
00:12:49.460 But, because, well, guys, because I lived in the actual projects.
00:12:56.420 Well done.
00:12:57.200 Like, I lived, like, you know, the projects are social housing.
00:12:59.720 Who introduced you to him?
00:13:01.300 Literally, I was rollerblading and somebody recruited me to go into sales.
00:13:05.080 Like, hey, you look really motivated.
00:13:06.200 Come to sales.
00:13:06.720 And I'm like, oh, they think I'm motivated.
00:13:08.060 I'm just poor.
00:13:09.100 I'm just poor.
00:13:10.300 But here's the, and by the way, like, so, so he, I said, how do I get a happy and successful
00:13:14.240 girlfriend?
00:13:14.620 At the time, I was just, I just wanted a girl to like me.
00:13:16.640 I wasn't thinking about, like, anything else.
00:13:18.260 Yeah, of course.
00:13:18.720 And he goes, oh, that's easy.
00:13:20.060 You just have to be happy and successful.
00:13:21.860 Yeah.
00:13:22.640 And I thought about that a lot.
00:13:23.980 And it comes back to, you know, McConaughey quote.
00:13:25.600 He does the thing like, don't chase a butterfly, build a garden.
00:13:28.340 The butterflies will come.
00:13:29.340 So a mentor of mine that had a really huge impact on my life.
00:13:32.500 Like, he really told me, like, he's like, just build your own value.
00:13:35.940 Focus on you and do everything you need to do to be the most attractive guy to the women
00:13:40.140 around you.
00:13:40.580 Because I wasn't an attractive guy to women around me.
00:13:42.120 I was rollerblading to university in the 1988 Corolla.
00:13:44.860 I was falling apart.
00:13:45.500 The driving test I took the first time, he didn't let me drive the car.
00:13:48.840 I said, I borrowed my dad's car because he said the car does not look safe.
00:13:52.940 So, you know, at 22, I'm not a good prospect for women. 0.90
00:13:55.560 So, like, now my mind changed.
00:13:56.920 Like, oh, it's not that I'm not good at getting women.
00:13:59.800 It's that women don't want me. 1.00
00:14:01.600 Why not?
00:14:02.520 Well, because I'm 22 and I was, at the time, I was going to university.
00:14:06.160 I was professionally gaming.
00:14:07.680 I was playing games 14, 15 hours a day.
00:14:10.300 I stunk.
00:14:11.340 So, Dimitri.
00:14:12.280 Why do you think you were able to take that feedback?
00:14:14.800 Where most women, if you say the men you want, don't want you. 1.00
00:14:17.360 They get offended.
00:14:18.540 As many of you know, I was just banned on TikTok.
00:14:22.120 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:14:26.480 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
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