JustPearlyThings - She BROKE UP With Him To Find Another Man

00:00:00.000 dance a young lady about dumping men how many relationships have um you ended and why

00:00:08.080 maybe like three or four um

00:00:15.520 i think most of it is like

00:00:19.680 just not what i want i guess like it's just not working or they're just i like when someone

00:00:28.160 knows the difference obviously i like someone that isn't too serious all the time but i feel

00:00:31.840 like knowing when to be serious is so important so that's like one of the big things for me

00:00:39.120 and what about the other ones

00:00:42.480 yeah just don't get along or the one i actually ended up falling in love with someone else

00:00:49.520 so cut that off how did that start was it someone you knew like a guy friend

00:00:55.600 oh no actually it was a girlfriend yeah we just became friends friendship like we got closer as

00:01:05.680 friends um and then yeah i didn't expect that

00:01:16.160 and then you're saying that i can see everybody like i'm thinking what the hell 0.51

00:01:19.440 you know so i had to say it i was shocked everyone always is i don't know why like what is it

00:01:26.400 no because it's the way you know we're all talking i think you just naturally explain yeah

00:01:32.560 and then when you said it is that i noticed that the you could hear a pin drop and i thought

00:01:38.400 did he know you were bi i didn't know i was like she didn't know yeah i was just thinking like he

00:01:44.000 really didn't see he's like i lost my girl to another girl i'd be pissed i'd be fuming i didn't

00:01:50.800 see that coming have you guys ever dated a guy and he turned just out he swung for the other team

00:01:55.600 no yeah no who said yes yes how did you find out a couple people and um let's just say the streets

00:02:06.400 the streets talk the streets talk you know everything everything so you heard through the grapevine he was

00:02:13.120 like hooking up with dudes that and i've seen obviously things myself obviously at first i was

00:02:19.840 a bit suspicious and then you know did they have particular sexual positions i just want to put it

00:02:24.880 out there nicely i have to ask people out there the people are going to know i just want to ask because 0.83

00:02:32.240 you hang on a minute you you know they're more freaky they're much more freaky much more dirty

00:02:39.120 i just said don't say dirty don't say dirty 0.80

00:02:45.520 but i like that okay um weirdly would you go with somebody that a bisexual person again yeah i would

00:02:54.160 okay then i would does it have to be male or female both i sleep with girls as well okay i'm not setting

00:03:00.240 up no dates um out of the breakups are there any breakups that you considered a win and why

00:03:12.160 all of them all of them yeah you always did better after

00:03:18.800 better okay yeah yeah yeah

00:03:21.040 were there any that you considered a loss one one yeah my baby dad probably um not him

00:03:32.640 no did he did he go on to date someone else no he's not i think it's just in terms of like

00:03:40.560 him as a man probably like one of the best i'm going to get so now that that's not there i think

00:03:48.640 that's where i've kind of got a loss do you think um him being your baby dad influences that a lot more

00:03:56.240 influences what just the fact that you feel like he was like the best you can get um

00:04:03.920 so if you didn't have the kid would you still feel the exact same way as you're feeling right now

00:04:06.960 yeah because i just feel like in terms of the qualities that he has as a man

00:04:10.560 i think it can work i think that you see the difference is right when you when you have somebody

00:04:38.800 like that and you got that same kind of feeling what you need to go is go back and sit down and

00:04:43.360 talk about what went wrong what you could have said and nine times out of ten you find that as

00:04:48.480 a woman you need to apologize because you didn't let him be a man and i can tell by your face that

00:04:52.960 he was right and you was wrong that's why you're asking because you realize that you left up

00:04:55.920 you can see by your face am i am i right or am i right i say like 80 yeah okay then i can take that

00:05:06.960 pearl's impressive but

00:05:10.320 it's all the meditation

00:05:13.760 so if you wanted to get back with you tomorrow would you do it i'm rooting for it i mean

00:05:20.080 it's not that i don't like him but i just feel like there's certain things that

00:05:23.680 because he's only i'm 25 he's going to be 27 27 or 28 so he's not that much older than me but i feel

00:05:32.080 like in in a lot of in like 70 of ways he's so mature and then there's that 30 where he's just

00:05:38.640 so immature allowing that that's the fun bit are you are you immature at times you don't think you're

00:05:45.440 ever immature he's not god you know what she needs to do she needs to think to herself whatever he was

00:05:52.480 serious 100 of the time that's what you need to think if he was only 100 percent of the time you

00:06:00.320 wouldn't feel the same way now and you might not like it you might not think so now but those fun

00:06:05.600 bits what made him the whole person i know i do like it i just feel like there's a time and like i

00:06:10.720 said earlier there's a time and place when you need to be serious maybe you just need to chill and go

00:06:14.480 with it and have fun maybe it's too serious you know maybe since you had the child you just got

00:06:19.600 serious all of a sudden you just don't understand what's wrong with you you've got a child you just

00:06:22.400 got old do you want do you want more kids yeah definitely with him i wouldn't be mad if he was

00:06:28.480 the dad but obviously i want to find like my right man and then that is your right man it's all over your

00:06:36.400 face i don't i don't understand like when we say the right you pick the right guy there's no like one

00:06:41.600 person out there for you she just don't want to put in the hard work to make him perfect

00:06:47.360 but is it my responsibility to make you perfect though is it his responsibility to make you perfect

00:06:55.760 do you have a cookbook i mean with your own recipes that you've made yourself what do you mean

00:07:02.640 you know what i mean i just said it it's okay that no is okay it's you don't have to but i'm saying

00:07:09.360 like if you know if you're going to criticize and say it's my job to make him perfect it's like am i

00:07:14.240 perfect yeah so i feel like it depends on who it is i feel like there comes with there has there's

00:07:21.360 something in a relationship when two people are immature and you're aware of it there comes an

00:07:25.520 established like thing where like cool we're going to be immature but we know when to like you said when

00:07:30.000 to act right and and it's also like determines like what what is the right time to act to act right

00:07:36.480 who determines that both both parties got to you have to be in a consensus for anything

00:07:41.520 right but what if you disagree i thought you couldn't you can agree to disagree too

00:07:47.840 right but the whole point is you may look at a situation and see it as he needs to be serious

00:07:52.800 now but he might think that he doesn't have to then you talk it out and you'll be like listen i don't

00:07:57.520 appreciate it but what was what what was i was just trying to say and i was trying to say that

00:08:02.320 some people will be immature to you but if you're mature to them they can't take it

00:08:06.560 so it's kind of like now you're stuck in a position where you can't be immature

00:08:09.920 and now every time they're immature it's kind of like that this is not the right time

00:08:13.680 see that's why you don't play games in relationships that's what i was trying to get

00:08:18.720 having fun and playing games is different he was having fun what you're describing as playing games

00:08:24.560 there's a big difference because he was just being himself and she knows he was just being 1.00

00:08:31.200 himself so i mean the foolish sometimes let him have fun i'm sure that women are stupid sometimes too 1.00

00:08:35.520 and they lie at you yeah i mean i haven't been stupid at times but do you guys want to come back for 1.00

00:08:43.040 therapy with auntie on one i actually do we're creating a new therapy studio but they need they 0.89

00:08:52.160 need to be able to handle the truth tissues will be supplied

00:08:59.520 what if they don't like your advice it's tough isn't it it's tough you know what i'm always right

00:09:05.760 so i'm proven wrong so you want to prove me wrong fair enough but i know that i can get you and your

00:09:12.480 man working yeah i need you right now and get the next baby i'm so worried yeah yeah we could do a

00:09:19.280 couple episodes yeah i mean yeah i want to i want to see you on that block because i think

00:09:26.640 we always hear the women's let's hear the men's yeah 0.97

00:09:28.560 i think there's hope for them i think that once the effigy just shut up and listen to him he should

00:09:36.320 tell a few home truths you can bring the musician too we can get you guys on

00:09:43.520 i'm gonna say this loud and clear no he's sorry no no never no no he didn't need it

00:09:51.600 no still no never do you know what happened he's like no for everything no no no no i'm getting

00:09:59.360 so many chances already why not another oh hell no no yeah the worst thing she could have done

00:10:05.440 why keep trying something you know something young lady the worst thing you could have done was go 1.00

00:10:10.000 over his dream and encourage him to be a musician no i think i still i still think that that was the

00:10:14.400 right thing to do no i mean at the you thought it was the right thing to do i mean but with hindsight

00:10:18.880 would you if he wasn't a musician what else could he have been he was a architectural metal worker

00:10:25.360 in the airports and he was miserable and i wanted him to be happy okay so to be happy he left his

00:10:32.080 job and he took a risk and i encouraged that did it work out good for him financially majorly so yeah

00:10:37.840 oh that's all right then we'll use our store friends and that's all right you ain't got no kids

00:10:41.440 with over here yeah oh you have well that's all right then he's making money you got kids

00:10:45.760 and you're getting on that's great yeah no arguments that's always good

00:10:51.840 i really i really think we could do a double episode i really think we can just bring families

00:10:56.000 together in the therapy room do you know what i'd really like to do i'd like to i'd like to follow

00:11:12.960 her and i'd like to check out her um style because i reckon she's giving off the wrong 1.00

00:11:19.760 i'd like to you know that wife's got i'd like to make her over and see the difference this young 1.00

00:11:25.680 lady here i think she's giving out all the wrong signals yeah that's it and attracting the wrong 1.00

00:11:32.240 people yeah i think she's attracting the wrong type of person because she's giving out the wrong signals 1.00

00:11:37.280 do you think how you look um affects the type of course it does how you look how you walk how you

00:11:42.080 present yourself everything i honestly think i'm a sex object like when it comes to things but do you

00:11:47.440 allow it not that i allow it but at the end of the day i know if you do it you allow it yeah you

00:11:54.480 allow it the minute you do it you allow it that's your choice how you present yourself as well i

00:11:58.640 understand that to you you may not do it to be a sexual object but people are going to determine

00:12:04.240 you as what you look like people judge a book by its cover so isn't that in your control yeah

00:12:09.040 i don't think so much as she looks i think i think it's her behavior and the way she talks

00:12:13.680 first impressions as well yeah i think it's her behavior not really first impressions we really

00:12:18.400 talk about the ugly man that i'd sleep with so it's not about first impressions because there

00:12:23.920 must be something underneath all of his ugliness for me to sleep with him so i just think that she 0.68

00:12:28.160 can look as she is but i think you can carry yourself different and you can talk differently

00:12:32.400 i think that's what it is okay and i'll prove myself right if you put yourself in my hands do you

00:12:38.000 want to do you want to come on an episode of wife school yeah yeah wow we have so many applicants

00:12:45.680 wife school oh yeah we do um it's just like wife classes basically so things that we're basically

00:12:51.600 training pearl we were training up pearl to be wifey and she didn't think i was wifey but then 1.00

00:12:59.040 but now she decides that she wants everybody else to come in because i think she's feeling a bit

00:13:02.560 um overwhelmed a bit of company i needed the bread well okay i needed the bread what did you have to

00:13:10.640 change everything what have you had to change since wife school um okay we have we have different

00:13:17.760 chapters okay this chapter i'm in is cooking okay so i'm really trying to be able to cook healthy food

00:13:24.240 for a family so um i've been feeding my staff

00:13:31.920 blessing are they happy about that they're working he's good look yeah in the beginning i had some

00:13:38.880 mess ups i won't lie but i've actually improved a lot in the last like month or two but if you can

00:13:44.480 can i just ask a question pearl yeah can i ask everybody what's their um their favorite meal to cook what meal

00:13:49.360 if you had 15 minutes to cook what would you cook 15 minutes one five one five fifteen what would

00:13:56.160 you cook off the top of your head what kind of pasta and what oh about bolognese okay what would 0.73

00:14:01.280 you cook steak damn you you took mine sort of like chicken pasta with some cream cheese okay what would 0.91

00:14:11.600 you cook young lady just 15 minutes yeah oh my partner likes calm beef hash and beetroot so it's pretty easy 0.99

00:14:18.240 okay 15 minutes literally steak and eggs okay steak in 15 minutes oh it takes me six minutes to cook

00:14:26.480 my steak you have yours no it's if you haven't blue it's even less right i like it i do i like it blue

00:14:32.880 i do like it blue sometimes i like mine pink so what would you cook young lady um i oh sorry i'd

00:14:39.120 probably make fried rice in 15 minutes that's probably what i can make with them bit of chicken in it

00:14:42.960 vegetables peas okay i would do okay i'm torn i either want to do the sushi bowl or the jollof

00:14:51.760 rice but i just started doing the jollof rice so i'm like i don't know if i can get it in 15

00:14:55.680 minutes jollof rice 15 minutes you can cook jollof rice i'm trying to teach you how to do it you can do

00:15:04.400 it in the rice cooker 15 minutes yeah nothing not the real i've done the real way that takes a lot longer

00:15:12.880 what is your favorite thing to make cookies

00:15:18.800 i have a family like recipe that my grandma tell my mom my mom taught me and it's like cookies from

00:15:23.680 scratch i like that i'm a really big dessert person it's not good um but auntie also just taught me

00:15:28.480 a cake that i really like making too that's all the things that are not good for her yeah oh yeah 0.83

00:15:33.360 tell me about it i had to stop baking when i started losing weight it was like well i can make

00:15:38.160 a victoria sponge or i can lose no weight so it's gonna be one or the other yeah i've had the same

00:15:43.920 realization recently yeah when you get a phone when you get a text at two o'clock in the morning where are

00:15:48.640 the other cookies there's no sugar in the house oh my gosh i was like

00:15:54.720 but take care and then the next episode uh or next month what are we doing fashion we're doing

00:16:00.240 fashion yeah and then the month because i've always been a tomboy so i've always really like i've just

00:16:05.600 been such a tomboy i've just never cared you want to dress right now i know it's big for me

00:16:08.800 like um she cut my jeans because yeah because she felt like they were ugly i'm pretty laid i'm

00:16:24.080 pretty laid back i was like go ahead they're beautiful they're really nice shorts um and then

00:16:29.920 after that what are we doing etiquette yeah that's gonna be hard and then that's gonna be

00:16:36.000 hard um and then dance and then i don't know what oh wow dance as well yeah are you teaching dance

00:16:42.320 no we're probably going to step on my foot

00:16:48.720 we'll probably get like an instructor or something she's been at dancing already but she won't post it

00:16:56.240 she went 60s go-go dancing oh no i always i keep putting her to a class oh i'm sure you do

00:17:06.960 i've set her up i sent her to a dance class when she got there she realized what it was for

00:17:11.360 love that no i didn't know what go-go dancing it was like a whole community they're like obsessed

00:17:15.360 with the 60s yeah and i was like they're like what do you love about the 60s i'm like

00:17:19.440 what about your youngest person there i guess i guess i guess this class

00:17:27.920 uh no they were young actually most people i would say were like 20s and 30s there's like only one or

00:17:32.640 two older ladies wow yeah yeah they're mostly anyone else taking an l anyone else in relationships yeah 1.00

00:17:40.240 like i lost a tooth that was the l i took from the relationship i meant i meant you were you look

00:17:47.760 back and you say that you you lost like you were not the winner you were the loser i think i've

00:17:55.680 dumped every man that i've ever been with and i've always won i'm glad

00:17:59.280 yeah that's good no one else really wow i don't feel like i've lost in a relationship i mean you're

00:18:09.680 only 19. yeah but yeah i don't yeah the thing is i don't have too much to lose right do you get it

00:18:17.520 like other than emotional damage probably like drama probably like daily routine i don't really have much

00:18:24.480 to lose compared to other people like money's not involved in it family's not involved in it friends

00:18:30.960 barely you know so to be fair i don't feel like i've lost in a relationship why do you have a

00:18:36.720 relationship why do you what is it about relation why do you go into relationship at such a young age

00:18:42.400 um i think i like having someone there that i can confide in why not get a dog or a teddy bear

00:18:49.200 um i think mostly because i like someone that can add on to my lifestyle i like someone that i can

00:18:56.880 at the end of the day go back and be like this is like this is my person kind of like my best friend

00:19:02.240 um how's that working for you great are you in a relationship now it's it's complicated but

00:19:11.680 that's still great that means no it's either yes or no nothing's complicated or situationships

00:19:17.120 i'm tired of situationships complicated no are you in a relationship yes or no okay i am not in a

00:19:23.520 relationship i am in a i am in a partnership which we're still figuring stuff out um i recently just

00:19:29.040 tried to cut cut him off um no no um so i think it was more so we kind of went cool like this is what i

00:19:41.920 saw maybe it was a bit of a hasty decision so we can stay in until we try to figure out what's up

00:19:47.440 and if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be but yeah that's a lot for such a young age

00:19:54.160 yeah i feel like a lot of younger generation feel like they need to be in a relationship

00:20:00.880 um i've got two girls um and my youngest feels like she needs to be in a relationship and i don't

00:20:07.520 i don't get it but and where my job and what i i work with children a lot of young teenagers and

00:20:16.240 adolescents feel like they need to be in a relationship it's quite scary but i think

00:20:23.200 i think more so than being in a relationship i think it's more so that you don't want to lose that

00:20:26.880 person so the only way you don't lose someone is kind of if you kind of go quite honestly in that

00:20:30.960 relationship i'm not saying that's the that applies to me right now but that's kind of like

00:20:35.280 what i think the general mindset is can i give you a bit of advice mama always says to me um

00:20:40.480 you know you said you always want somebody to be there you don't want to be on your own

00:20:43.840 yeah mama would say you're not a twin yeah 100 so if you're not a twin you should be used to being on

00:20:49.360 your own only twins need somebody they will miss someone so get over your loneliness and get out there

00:20:54.720 and get a hobby and stop getting a man i will admit that i can i do struggle to be alone i will openly

00:21:00.400 admit that and i think more times right now i've practiced being alone i think i don't need that

00:21:06.080 validation from someone else to be like i can do this i can do that but do you think that's a big

00:21:10.160 responsibility to put on somebody else to not make you feel alone and to bring you that kind of

00:21:15.680 happiness inside no because i would never be like i would never approach someone and be like

00:21:19.920 yeah like i need you to be there for me it's just kind of what happens i don't end up i don't think

00:21:24.560 women are meant to be alone like i mean i i can understand like a teenager you might not want 1.00

00:21:29.680 them getting in a relationship but it's it feels really good being single i mean i mean in the

00:21:35.440 short term but i mean we have more women on antidepressants than ever before and we're more

00:21:39.520 single than ever before i agree with you i don't think sorry i don't think women are supposed to be 1.00

00:21:46.000 alone but men are not supposed to be suffocated by a woman that can't handle being alone 1.00

00:21:51.360 and i think that's the difference and that's something i had to learn until you're with

00:21:56.720 someone be happy being alone yeah and if you're not happy being alone then the person that you're

00:22:02.720 going to be with you're going to suffocate hell out of him a hundred percent yeah i wonder what 0.78

00:22:07.840 you said 100 but yet she wants the man and she's going to be with him then just leave the man rather 1.00

00:22:12.320 than going back with him hundred percent no because i agree with you no i'm i'm not going to sit here and

00:22:17.040 lie to you and say i've been ignorant to everything i'll be real like i'm a kind of

00:22:21.120 person i have to think everything through believe it or not so if i'm going to stay in something i

00:22:25.600 know why i'm going to stay in it because it works for me and it works for both of us somewhat but

00:22:30.960 it's also i'm also at a point where it's kind of like cool i can do whatever i want right this is a

00:22:35.520 time for me to learn this is a time for me to do whatever i want to do and do you know something right

00:22:40.720 i think that's the worst thing that mother people say nowadays you think so is that now's the time

00:22:45.840 because i'm sure that all the older people i'm saying older not like me older which they didn't

00:22:51.200 do that no if you if you can be if you you're sensible or you sound sensible if you're sensible 0.95

00:22:57.680 now stop going in stupid relationships sort yourself out and getting one that works because 0.94

00:23:03.760 you're talking with a lot of sense so you know what works so you know that don't work 1.00

00:23:07.200 you know stop picking up crap pick up something that you can study and i'm sure when you keep on

00:23:13.040 thinking a lot of you like oh yeah that's what we need now but you can if she had her way again 0.75

00:23:17.360 she'd do it differently if she was 18 or 19 we all will and that's what i find that when you get young

00:23:21.680 people they don't think they don't take advice from older people because she just said why do they need

00:23:27.920 to be in a relationship there's no reason for you to be in a relationship unless you're going to deal

00:23:33.520 in the relationship to be serious to get married or something like that because if i was young now

00:23:39.360 i think i'd be married at 19 or 20 and i think i'd be a virgin until i was 19 or 20 knowing what i know

00:23:45.360 now and i'm sure that anybody else who's done it that everybody's nodding everybody's nodding

00:23:51.680 so if you can't be in a relationship and you can't see a future don't be in it don't waste your time

00:23:56.880 don't waste your body don't waste your energy don't waste your brain and don't waste his time either

00:24:02.640 because you might get back to give it's like oh once i'm getting what i know what stuck out when you said

00:24:06.800 somewhat we're getting what we want somewhat that means that you're not you're just hanging on in

00:24:11.600 there until something better comes along until you get bored and dump him get out of it okay auntie

00:24:20.000 i didn't mean to say it like that

JustPearlyThings - August 07, 2023

She BROKE UP With Him To Find Another Man

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