JustPearlyThings - August 06, 2023


Why Modern Women Pick Bad Partners

Hosted by
Pearl NUKES Their Woke Disney Fairytale You Won't Believe What This Modern Woman SAID

Episode Stats


Length

12 minutes

Words per minute

206.45

Word count

2,576

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Toxicity

11

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we discuss the reasons behind why we break up with a partner, why we do it and why we end a relationship. We also discuss why we choose to walk away from a relationship if it doesn't work out and how to get over a breakup.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.400 how many relationships have you guys ended and why
00:00:05.840 i've only been in one so and it's not ended so zero three three three and why'd you end them
00:00:13.280 um they just wasn't good towards me all violent all violent you dated three violent men yeah 0.99
00:00:20.000 stupid please first time it's okay like you wonder like yeah okay it happens to anyone 0.99
00:00:27.360 second time i should have seen the red flags but i didn't and now the third time i just feel like i 0.99
00:00:32.000 need to write mug on my forehead yeah do you know men that aren't violent no i do i know a lot of men
00:00:37.920 which are my friends it just makes no sense i just go for the ones that they show they're nice at first
00:00:42.960 and then it's like once they grab hold of me they don't want me to go so they'll do anything in any
00:00:49.680 type of force i and you saw no red flags in the beginning a couple two of them yes uh one of them
00:00:58.720 no i just like wonder because if i was a guy listening to this i'd be like why would i be nice
00:01:03.280 to you because you don't like like you know the nice guys but you don't pick them you just keep
00:01:07.760 if anything like it would incentivize them to be abusive see that's the thing i think like
00:01:12.880 like normally like i would feel like a guy would come to me thinking oh she's been in
00:01:19.680 three relationships that have just been violent but i've actually had nothing but good guys to
00:01:24.800 come towards me since i just i've been taking my time whether i want to be in a relationship with
00:01:29.280 someone or not because i really don't want to go to a fourth time and that's it i will be getting
00:01:34.480 mock tattooed on my forehead um and i think i ended it just because i think i just wasn't
00:01:51.360 i wasn't ready for the commitment um yeah fickle i think i just wasn't ready i think it was kind of
00:02:00.560 like i was just like yeah and uh and it kind of just shut me off completely like other after that
00:02:06.800 it was kind of like i don't know why i did it nothing it's just completely cut off and it was
00:02:10.880 like i didn't feel the same way anymore and that was literally the end of it there's no more to that
00:02:16.400 than it than i'm saying but yeah i think we you said you had two relationships and you ended one no no
00:02:25.680 i didn't know they ended both i'm more of a stay in a relationship make it work
00:02:31.200 kind of person than jump off and give up but having said that the first person
00:02:38.320 wasn't a great person so once he left and he had made that choice it was taken away from me so then
00:02:45.520 i could then go and be happy so i was actually grateful that he ended it and that's why i didn't
00:02:50.640 let him come back i actually understand that thinking because when it's like if they break up with you
00:02:55.600 you don't really have a choice in it so you don't have to like guess if it was the right choice
00:02:58.880 because it wasn't your choice i feel like it's easier to detach when someone else breaks up with
00:03:02.560 you than it is for you to break up with them do you think women ever try to get guys to break up 0.99
00:03:07.760 with them yeah 100 yeah oh they do everything like that happens all the time i feel like if you're in
00:03:14.080 a relationship where you just feel like it's kind of like he's sometimes maybe a bit more committed but
00:03:19.360 maybe not in the way that you want it to be you're probably going to do everything in your power for
00:03:22.560 him to be like yeah i'm not trying like you're doing madness whereas that's not actually you but
00:03:28.400 it's kind of like you're provoking that because it's just like you don't it's kind of like you see
00:03:33.920 it but then at the same time you don't and it's like it's easier like i can't call it off because
00:03:38.480 he has valid points so therefore i'm going to provoke whatever situation it is to make him break up with
00:03:43.120 me so that i can just be like cool you broke up with me and i'll leave it as it is and just let the case rest
00:03:48.560 uh yeah i just want to jump off something that you said a moment ago where um a lot of times say
00:03:53.120 if you get broken up with it's easier for you to move on um i kind of think with women it's the 1.00
00:03:58.000 opposite because when we break up with someone we break up with them with them in our head and then
00:04:03.600 you know six weeks later then we break up with them so i thought perhaps it'd be a little easier
00:04:08.640 if we leave someone because often we've planned it you know for a lot of women there's a guy already 0.99
00:04:14.080 waiting um whereas if you get broken up with especially if you think things are going fine
00:04:19.280 it's this you know complete change of circumstances sprung up on you so i thought perhaps that'd make
00:04:24.320 it a little worse actually yeah you're probably right actually now that i'm thinking about it because
00:04:30.560 if things were going well like that probably would devastate me yeah but it's like yeah yeah but it's
00:04:37.520 kind of like if you're fighting already you know if you're fighting already you've probably mentally
00:04:42.000 checked out as well you just wait for one of the other person to do it i actually do agree with
00:04:45.680 you yeah like that's never happened when it was like don't like it's you know do you think like
00:04:51.040 women detach quicker than men depends on a woman i feel like okay i feel like women detach quicker than
00:05:01.360 men most of the time like if she has 10 relationships like eight or nine of them but there's like one guy
00:05:08.320 that like she cannot detach from okay like to like and i use it because you can see it in pop culture
00:05:13.840 like a lot of a lot of the movies that like women love like titanic the notebook what is it what is
00:05:19.280 it about about that guy it's like the lady in the titanic is like 90 talking about her high school fling
00:05:25.200 yeah and she's still talking about that and same with the notebook it's her going back to that guy from
00:05:29.120 high school yeah so i feel like unless it's like that guy like women typically get over it easier 1.00
00:05:37.440 than that but if you're like that guy to her then she doesn't i feel like the reason why i say women 0.99
00:05:45.040 get over men quickly is because i think we're more of an emotional we're going through more of an
00:05:50.080 emotional time than men are um i feel like you're in certain situations where if something happens it's
00:05:56.640 kind of like you feel it way more than you would feel than your significant other would feel and
00:06:01.520 then yeah fair enough no i thought so i'm i'm talking more from my experience is what i'm trying
00:06:08.240 to say i feel like this i'm a very emotional person if something happens um my emotions is in it 100
00:06:15.360 and it's kind of like if something keeps happening i'll kind of i'll kind of get used to it and i'll kind
00:06:20.160 of be like cool whatever so if if so if you're involved in a relationship where like things will
00:06:25.440 keep constantly happening they'll get to a point you like you actually get to a point where you're
00:06:29.920 kind of like yeah like he could do something and i'll just completely like i won't react the same way
00:06:33.920 anymore and it kind of just you like the relationship will end and you can just like cool whatever
00:06:39.600 because you really felt what you need to felt during the relationship so why do you now go through
00:06:42.960 heartbreak after i think women just underestimate men's emotions yeah i think women are just out there
00:06:48.960 crying and blubbering and whatever and the men just take it because if they had to turn around
00:06:53.360 and cry and blubber i mean if you had a man and there must be women that swear with men and they 0.98
00:06:58.160 just start crying what do you think about them lose total respect for them yeah that's why they don't
00:07:02.720 do it they just deal with it but women got them blubber all their friends will come around oh he's done 1.00
00:07:07.200 this oh he's done that the man the trial if a man does that trauma so you're telling me women lose
00:07:12.160 respect for men that crowd would cry to you oh my god yeah of course you want to swear you want
00:07:17.360 okay you want a guy leading you imagine the ceo of a company just crying in front of his employees
00:07:24.480 it's the same thing with the relationship you're not going to respect a guy's leadership
00:07:28.080 the same way if he's crying all the time can i ask because a man ever cried in front of you
00:07:33.040 um i've had people be emotional towards me and it hasn't made me really lose respect for you because
00:07:38.560 i feel like if we're both like established that type of relationship you can cry to me i'll look at you
00:07:43.760 like cool let me put it this way right you you with a man and you tell him you don't want to be
00:07:48.240 with him anymore and he starts crying and blubbering what would you do how would you feel that's kind
00:07:51.920 of different that's what we're talking about even my pride wouldn't let me cry for someone if they
00:07:56.640 broke up with me i thought you said that you that women cry and get emotional when they get when they
00:08:01.200 split up with a man pardon i thought you said that women cry and they get emotional when they split up with
00:08:06.720 a man i mean they do right so i'm saying turn it on it said what if it was a man that's probably a
00:08:14.080 woman and he's the one that's blubbering i mean cool like if you're crying then you care didn't it
00:08:20.080 like i don't i don't know what you actually want me to do how would you feel towards him do you think
00:08:24.240 it'd make you want to get back with him and any like would you be more attracted to him or less 0.71
00:08:27.920 attracted to him it depends on who it is yeah if you yeah it depends on who it is if you look ugly crying
00:08:34.240 though sorry but yeah it actually depends who it is like a hundred percent but i think that girls 1.00
00:08:42.720 usually and i can say this from having not from my own experience but from friends who go through this
00:08:48.000 uh one of her friends um said to me when we're on facetime um that she had an argument with her
00:08:55.360 boyfriend um and essentially she did it just to see if he would like kind of chase after him facetime
00:09:02.000 her own caller and you know lo and behold 50 no caller id calls um and she said to me well like
00:09:08.880 i don't really want him to be doing that like i want to go after him and i thought it was quite
00:09:12.800 strange because you know you'd think that you'd want someone to come after you and you know chase
00:09:16.880 after but typically you know women are attracted unfortunately to toxicity so yeah but is it not
00:09:23.680 toxic to be harassing someone like that oh no no of course that's of course that's toxic um but i'm saying in terms of
00:09:32.000 in terms of the relationship um a lot of time how do i explain it um it's toxic to be harassing
00:09:39.360 someone um but it's also you know toxic to leave someone that you love with no final word which is
00:09:45.280 what she would see that relationship as but for some reason that's what she would gravitate more to
00:09:49.920 than someone that's trying to get her back yeah that's what that's what i meant i'm gonna cut and go
00:09:55.600 you lie to me i'm gone you cheat i'm gone so auntie wouldn't take back someone that's cheated
00:10:01.280 nine like going back there even if there's no no no no why no why should i i'm gonna cheat again
00:10:09.360 they're gonna cheat again okay what if he told you like auntie like i'm the best woman that any man
00:10:14.640 that has ever been with can get right you cheat on me there's no going back i'm moving on but cool what if
00:10:19.920 he told you or like cool i saw us together but i had to go confide in other women to make me realize 0.60
00:10:26.240 that you're the one i'm looking for well keep on going then and keep on thinking no if you lied to
00:10:32.720 me from the beginning you have to set the rules down from the beginning and if i have a man you know
00:10:37.440 don't lie to me don't cheat if you lie it's over if you cheat it's over i don't care why
00:10:43.680 it's over finishing no conversation it's done because women will say oh you know if he cheats
00:10:50.640 on me you know and then what he's going to do it again he's going to do it again he's going to do
00:10:54.640 it again if i told you once it's gone it's finished it's gone and if you cry it's even worse and you're 0.74
00:10:59.600 even stupid to believe him if he says he's never going to do it again but what if he doesn't do it 0.94
00:11:04.000 again men most probably wouldn't but that's my line my line is like no no i've seen it happen 0.99
00:11:09.440 too many times girl goes back cheat some more i would rather just not look like a clown what would
00:11:15.440 you say most girls go back after they get cheated on some not all what percent how many friends do 0.99
00:11:21.520 you know that have gotten cheated on uh um all of them no a couple but it was the situation that
00:11:34.160 they had been in so let's say if it involved kids obviously they want to put the kids first
00:11:38.560 you know what i mean um no i know there's reasons i'm just curious yeah but i don't think i think after
00:11:44.000 they've been cheated on once they start where i'm such a the type of person i am and the way i 0.85
00:11:51.680 handle things obviously the people around me they've done dumb stupid things like i've done 0.98
00:11:57.280 stupid things in the past and believe the guy i'm not joking but i just feel like how many how many 0.98
00:12:03.360 friends of yours have gotten cheated on a couple so so two three yeah three three and how many stayed 0.98
00:12:10.000 with him after he cheated um two two but they've not they're not with them anymore right but it just
00:12:17.040 meant like when they cheated they stayed yeah they stayed with them afterwards but then they left like
00:12:20.640 obviously yeah yeah later yeah proves my point