JustPearlyThings - August 06, 2023


Why Modern Women Pick Bad Partners


Episode Stats

Length

12 minutes

Words per Minute

206.45438

Word Count

2,576

Sentence Count

1


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.400 how many relationships have you guys ended and why
00:00:05.840 i've only been in one so and it's not ended so zero three three three and why'd you end them
00:00:13.280 um they just wasn't good towards me all violent all violent you dated three violent men yeah
00:00:20.000 stupid please first time it's okay like you wonder like yeah okay it happens to anyone
00:00:27.360 second time i should have seen the red flags but i didn't and now the third time i just feel like i
00:00:32.000 need to write mug on my forehead yeah do you know men that aren't violent no i do i know a lot of men
00:00:37.920 which are my friends it just makes no sense i just go for the ones that they show they're nice at first
00:00:42.960 and then it's like once they grab hold of me they don't want me to go so they'll do anything in any
00:00:49.680 type of force i and you saw no red flags in the beginning a couple two of them yes uh one of them
00:00:58.720 no i just like wonder because if i was a guy listening to this i'd be like why would i be nice
00:01:03.280 to you because you don't like like you know the nice guys but you don't pick them you just keep
00:01:07.760 if anything like it would incentivize them to be abusive see that's the thing i think like
00:01:12.880 like normally like i would feel like a guy would come to me thinking oh she's been in
00:01:19.680 three relationships that have just been violent but i've actually had nothing but good guys to
00:01:24.800 come towards me since i just i've been taking my time whether i want to be in a relationship with
00:01:29.280 someone or not because i really don't want to go to a fourth time and that's it i will be getting
00:01:34.480 mock tattooed on my forehead um and i think i ended it just because i think i just wasn't
00:01:51.360 i wasn't ready for the commitment um yeah fickle i think i just wasn't ready i think it was kind of
00:02:00.560 like i was just like yeah and uh and it kind of just shut me off completely like other after that
00:02:06.800 it was kind of like i don't know why i did it nothing it's just completely cut off and it was
00:02:10.880 like i didn't feel the same way anymore and that was literally the end of it there's no more to that
00:02:16.400 than it than i'm saying but yeah i think we you said you had two relationships and you ended one no no
00:02:25.680 i didn't know they ended both i'm more of a stay in a relationship make it work
00:02:31.200 kind of person than jump off and give up but having said that the first person
00:02:38.320 wasn't a great person so once he left and he had made that choice it was taken away from me so then
00:02:45.520 i could then go and be happy so i was actually grateful that he ended it and that's why i didn't
00:02:50.640 let him come back i actually understand that thinking because when it's like if they break up with you
00:02:55.600 you don't really have a choice in it so you don't have to like guess if it was the right choice
00:02:58.880 because it wasn't your choice i feel like it's easier to detach when someone else breaks up with
00:03:02.560 you than it is for you to break up with them do you think women ever try to get guys to break up
00:03:07.760 with them yeah 100 yeah oh they do everything like that happens all the time i feel like if you're in
00:03:14.080 a relationship where you just feel like it's kind of like he's sometimes maybe a bit more committed but
00:03:19.360 maybe not in the way that you want it to be you're probably going to do everything in your power for
00:03:22.560 him to be like yeah i'm not trying like you're doing madness whereas that's not actually you but
00:03:28.400 it's kind of like you're provoking that because it's just like you don't it's kind of like you see
00:03:33.920 it but then at the same time you don't and it's like it's easier like i can't call it off because
00:03:38.480 he has valid points so therefore i'm going to provoke whatever situation it is to make him break up with
00:03:43.120 me so that i can just be like cool you broke up with me and i'll leave it as it is and just let the case rest
00:03:48.560 uh yeah i just want to jump off something that you said a moment ago where um a lot of times say
00:03:53.120 if you get broken up with it's easier for you to move on um i kind of think with women it's the
00:03:58.000 opposite because when we break up with someone we break up with them with them in our head and then
00:04:03.600 you know six weeks later then we break up with them so i thought perhaps it'd be a little easier
00:04:08.640 if we leave someone because often we've planned it you know for a lot of women there's a guy already
00:04:14.080 waiting um whereas if you get broken up with especially if you think things are going fine
00:04:19.280 it's this you know complete change of circumstances sprung up on you so i thought perhaps that'd make
00:04:24.320 it a little worse actually yeah you're probably right actually now that i'm thinking about it because
00:04:30.560 if things were going well like that probably would devastate me yeah but it's like yeah yeah but it's
00:04:37.520 kind of like if you're fighting already you know if you're fighting already you've probably mentally
00:04:42.000 checked out as well you just wait for one of the other person to do it i actually do agree with
00:04:45.680 you yeah like that's never happened when it was like don't like it's you know do you think like
00:04:51.040 women detach quicker than men depends on a woman i feel like okay i feel like women detach quicker than
00:05:01.360 men most of the time like if she has 10 relationships like eight or nine of them but there's like one guy
00:05:08.320 that like she cannot detach from okay like to like and i use it because you can see it in pop culture
00:05:13.840 like a lot of a lot of the movies that like women love like titanic the notebook what is it what is
00:05:19.280 it about about that guy it's like the lady in the titanic is like 90 talking about her high school fling
00:05:25.200 yeah and she's still talking about that and same with the notebook it's her going back to that guy from
00:05:29.120 high school yeah so i feel like unless it's like that guy like women typically get over it easier
00:05:37.440 than that but if you're like that guy to her then she doesn't i feel like the reason why i say women
00:05:45.040 get over men quickly is because i think we're more of an emotional we're going through more of an
00:05:50.080 emotional time than men are um i feel like you're in certain situations where if something happens it's
00:05:56.640 kind of like you feel it way more than you would feel than your significant other would feel and
00:06:01.520 then yeah fair enough no i thought so i'm i'm talking more from my experience is what i'm trying
00:06:08.240 to say i feel like this i'm a very emotional person if something happens um my emotions is in it 100
00:06:15.360 and it's kind of like if something keeps happening i'll kind of i'll kind of get used to it and i'll kind
00:06:20.160 of be like cool whatever so if if so if you're involved in a relationship where like things will
00:06:25.440 keep constantly happening they'll get to a point you like you actually get to a point where you're
00:06:29.920 kind of like yeah like he could do something and i'll just completely like i won't react the same way
00:06:33.920 anymore and it kind of just you like the relationship will end and you can just like cool whatever
00:06:39.600 because you really felt what you need to felt during the relationship so why do you now go through
00:06:42.960 heartbreak after i think women just underestimate men's emotions yeah i think women are just out there
00:06:48.960 crying and blubbering and whatever and the men just take it because if they had to turn around
00:06:53.360 and cry and blubber i mean if you had a man and there must be women that swear with men and they
00:06:58.160 just start crying what do you think about them lose total respect for them yeah that's why they don't
00:07:02.720 do it they just deal with it but women got them blubber all their friends will come around oh he's done
00:07:07.200 this oh he's done that the man the trial if a man does that trauma so you're telling me women lose
00:07:12.160 respect for men that crowd would cry to you oh my god yeah of course you want to swear you want
00:07:17.360 okay you want a guy leading you imagine the ceo of a company just crying in front of his employees
00:07:24.480 it's the same thing with the relationship you're not going to respect a guy's leadership
00:07:28.080 the same way if he's crying all the time can i ask because a man ever cried in front of you
00:07:33.040 um i've had people be emotional towards me and it hasn't made me really lose respect for you because
00:07:38.560 i feel like if we're both like established that type of relationship you can cry to me i'll look at you
00:07:43.760 like cool let me put it this way right you you with a man and you tell him you don't want to be
00:07:48.240 with him anymore and he starts crying and blubbering what would you do how would you feel that's kind
00:07:51.920 of different that's what we're talking about even my pride wouldn't let me cry for someone if they
00:07:56.640 broke up with me i thought you said that you that women cry and get emotional when they get when they
00:08:01.200 split up with a man pardon i thought you said that women cry and they get emotional when they split up with
00:08:06.720 a man i mean they do right so i'm saying turn it on it said what if it was a man that's probably a
00:08:14.080 woman and he's the one that's blubbering i mean cool like if you're crying then you care didn't it
00:08:20.080 like i don't i don't know what you actually want me to do how would you feel towards him do you think
00:08:24.240 it'd make you want to get back with him and any like would you be more attracted to him or less
00:08:27.920 attracted to him it depends on who it is yeah if you yeah it depends on who it is if you look ugly crying
00:08:34.240 though sorry but yeah it actually depends who it is like a hundred percent but i think that girls
00:08:42.720 usually and i can say this from having not from my own experience but from friends who go through this
00:08:48.000 uh one of her friends um said to me when we're on facetime um that she had an argument with her
00:08:55.360 boyfriend um and essentially she did it just to see if he would like kind of chase after him facetime
00:09:02.000 her own caller and you know lo and behold 50 no caller id calls um and she said to me well like
00:09:08.880 i don't really want him to be doing that like i want to go after him and i thought it was quite
00:09:12.800 strange because you know you'd think that you'd want someone to come after you and you know chase
00:09:16.880 after but typically you know women are attracted unfortunately to toxicity so yeah but is it not
00:09:23.680 toxic to be harassing someone like that oh no no of course that's of course that's toxic um but i'm saying in terms of
00:09:32.000 in terms of the relationship um a lot of time how do i explain it um it's toxic to be harassing
00:09:39.360 someone um but it's also you know toxic to leave someone that you love with no final word which is
00:09:45.280 what she would see that relationship as but for some reason that's what she would gravitate more to
00:09:49.920 than someone that's trying to get her back yeah that's what that's what i meant i'm gonna cut and go
00:09:55.600 you lie to me i'm gone you cheat i'm gone so auntie wouldn't take back someone that's cheated
00:10:01.280 nine like going back there even if there's no no no no why no why should i i'm gonna cheat again
00:10:09.360 they're gonna cheat again okay what if he told you like auntie like i'm the best woman that any man
00:10:14.640 that has ever been with can get right you cheat on me there's no going back i'm moving on but cool what if
00:10:19.920 he told you or like cool i saw us together but i had to go confide in other women to make me realize
00:10:26.240 that you're the one i'm looking for well keep on going then and keep on thinking no if you lied to
00:10:32.720 me from the beginning you have to set the rules down from the beginning and if i have a man you know
00:10:37.440 don't lie to me don't cheat if you lie it's over if you cheat it's over i don't care why
00:10:43.680 it's over finishing no conversation it's done because women will say oh you know if he cheats
00:10:50.640 on me you know and then what he's going to do it again he's going to do it again he's going to do
00:10:54.640 it again if i told you once it's gone it's finished it's gone and if you cry it's even worse and you're
00:10:59.600 even stupid to believe him if he says he's never going to do it again but what if he doesn't do it
00:11:04.000 again men most probably wouldn't but that's my line my line is like no no i've seen it happen
00:11:09.440 too many times girl goes back cheat some more i would rather just not look like a clown what would
00:11:15.440 you say most girls go back after they get cheated on some not all what percent how many friends do
00:11:21.520 you know that have gotten cheated on uh um all of them no a couple but it was the situation that
00:11:34.160 they had been in so let's say if it involved kids obviously they want to put the kids first
00:11:38.560 you know what i mean um no i know there's reasons i'm just curious yeah but i don't think i think after
00:11:44.000 they've been cheated on once they start where i'm such a the type of person i am and the way i
00:11:51.680 handle things obviously the people around me they've done dumb stupid things like i've done
00:11:57.280 stupid things in the past and believe the guy i'm not joking but i just feel like how many how many
00:12:03.360 friends of yours have gotten cheated on a couple so so two three yeah three three and how many stayed
00:12:10.000 with him after he cheated um two two but they've not they're not with them anymore right but it just
00:12:17.040 meant like when they cheated they stayed yeah they stayed with them afterwards but then they left like
00:12:20.640 obviously yeah yeah later yeah proves my point