She Got DIVORCED 4 TIMES!!!!!
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
181.60219
Summary
In this episode, I speak to a woman who has been divorced 4 times in her life and has been married to 4 different men. She shares her experience of divorce and how it has affected her marriage and how she has dealt with it.
Transcript
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women scream men he feel very bad because his ears he cannot listen very high voice
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he wants immediately to stop it to shut up it it's very irritating him if women want men to listen
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here you need to speak very calm and slowly and then you have biggest chance to be heard
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in your case speak to my man really calm and gentle it's not okay i'm gonna make him carry
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all the bags i'm learning so much before i get divorced for the fourth time you've been divorced
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four times pretty much girl how now can i can i ask you about it i won't i'm not i'm not trying
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to come at you i'm just curious no no sure so the first time um i i always exaggerate my numbers but
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the first time it was an arranged married in my home country okay it lost it did there was no
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marriage it was just like my mom said get married we did the islamic marriage okay um we we never
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spoke he went home after the function i stayed in my home and literally 24 hours i was like mom i can't
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believe you did this not not gonna do it so it ended up in a divorce but it was a marriage okay um the
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second one was my husband of nearly 20 years i've got two children i got married at 19 had my first
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wow you look you look young i wasn't expecting you 20 years wow okay so yeah my son is 18 okay um my
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eldest is 18 and that lasted about 20 years and that just recently ended in divorce okay and now i'm on
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number three oh you're married again yeah i've trapped someone else now okay why i'm just curious
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why did the 20 year one end um i think we took each other for granted okay yeah we i have to take
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responsibility it wasn't just him we took each other for granted he was always working he was the breadwinner
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um he was running the home and i was i was i we took each other for granted okay what is it i hear
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this sometimes i just don't really understand what it means it's uh well they like were you nagging on
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him didn't appreciate that what you mean on your side that's the problem i never nagged um i mean
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i felt like there were three of us it's like princess diana there were three of us in this marriage it was
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me him and his iphone and when i had the kids i put on a lot of weight uh i mean double of what
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i am now but i put on a lot of weight i became a new i was a full-time mom um i let myself go but
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he was a gentleman and you know all he did was work pay the bills function the home i bought up the kids
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and uh one day i just got really insecure because he was speaking to somebody and she said she's going
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to get liposuction in turkey and i think he was speaking with this woman too frequently i didn't
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like it but i was a fat mom at home and i thought oh my goodness i need to start losing some weight i
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lost weight i lost too much weight so i attracted too much attention from outside and sorry excuse me
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sadly i think um our marriage deteriorated because of the weight loss issue i don't under so you got
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too much attention from other men and so then you divorced him it wasn't that i think it we i let
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other people into my home into my life and i that respect wasn't there in a way so you didn't respect
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him anymore i i i didn't because i was speaking with other people when i know i shouldn't have been
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and i mean it's i i actually appreciate you being honest about it yeah yeah so so so you were speaking
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to other people and that kind of deteriorated the marriage it did yeah i did i think it did yes
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yeah well i mean now you're married again yeah only islamically okay yeah not civil i would never
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go down the civil route again i just think it's a man-made world out there they want to suck your
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money out when they when you do the civil ceremony you pay for it when you get divorced you pay for it
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when you have a function you pay for it it's just um for me it's a money-making thing i've seen it all
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and do you do you in hindsight when men men a lot of times will say if your girl starts losing weight
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you should be worried do you think that's true 100 i think you should lose weight together yeah and
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just never forget don't disrespect each other who are you doing this for you're doing it for yourself
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you're doing it for each other you i mean i did it to try and keep my husband to keep him entertained
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with me so he wouldn't go anywhere else but um we should have done it together if i could go back
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another 10 years we should have done it together it should have been something we did for ourselves
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it's so interesting to me it just seems like when i hear the story and i've just done so many of these
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it's like i hear the stories of divorce i never hear like real reasons you know and i'm not i don't
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mean this to like disrespect you but i just it just seems like this stuff can be worked out it can be
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yeah it can be and we lie honest you're very honest yeah we lie we make the other person look bad and
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we don't take responsibility so this is why i'm not out there to look make any man feel or look bad
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but women they do they hide things they they lie they manipulate i've seen it i've i've seen it all
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i've literally seen it all yeah how crazy was that the screaming i don't know how you do it pearl
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honestly it's usually it's usually not this bad this was a worse show i was like jerry springer
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you know what i mean i know i know i was like jesus that was crazy and i was so she was like
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screaming at me about how unhappy i was i'm like i'm having a good day
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but pearl you called her fat yeah yeah after she was she was insulting me first yeah so almost you
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lost them you brought emotion into it too and it's a very feminine thing to do to bring emotion into oh yeah
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yeah we i i just think if women you know you're if you want to insult me i will insult you back
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yes i will no you don't lower yourself no no i will i will i'm sorry sorry i will yeah i'm not a
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perfect person technically that's not an insult that's just a description yeah is it true
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i think it comes with age it comes with wisdom and i think when somebody is saying something you
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don't lower yourself you don't behave like them because if you do you're as bad as them
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yeah yeah but i love you paul yeah i i think it's worse yeah yeah technically technically i was just
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describing her this is what she is based on her that's like saying if a man punched me in the face
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i shouldn't punch him back in the face no that's self-defense that's self-defense yeah that this was
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self-defense as well you can't you can't come into someone's home insult them and then when they insult
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you back you start saying well you shouldn't lower yourself to my level maybe just say leave and yeah
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which we did and she didn't leave no but it's an insult enough when you've said leave get out of my
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property that's an insult enough yeah but it's like she's in my home yeah yeah it's like she's in my
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right yeah um i was like we're gonna talk about i want to hear more about your experience as a
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psychologist so what what do you you do psychology uh i have two education clinical medical psychologist
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sexologist and family therapist okay and i work it was very funny when it's become to be stressed up
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how immediately he changed topic about sex it's very normally for men if women will wake up every
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morning your man with blue job goes i promise you it's your man less wars less problems less conflict in this
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world very often when you start to fight just make a sex and after sex a lot of conflicts will disappear
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what do you what do you see the difference between russian women and western women
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um i work with a lot of american women i work with every world and a lot of europe i never work in russia
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okay i left when i was a student and i always work on europe and america
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and i notice but from my for example my mother live with my father 45 years and they are very happy
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we are three children they have six grandchildren and we continue to be always together and support each
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other my two ex-husbands they love me a lot they support me a lot they're my best friends we are always
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common together my stepmother always crazy about me you know divorce it's not end you can
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love so much each other we go today holidays we make today oh the birthday it's very normal from
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people who develop and mature for me not normal when people divorce and fight i don't understand it
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and in my experience you my mother always respect my father but always you're obliged to respect and
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always she put my father up than children she always said your father sleeping now it's my time with father
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and until today she so admire him say see how beautiful your father he's 75 and he still work
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my father until now take care about my mother take her on holiday my gifts flowers all my husband always
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take care about me until today make me gifts and take care about me because it's normal but i really
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admire and respect all of them i very respect my father and i will always appreciate him he's not perfect
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but it's my father and i always loves him i always loves my ex-husband and the father of my child always