She Got TRIGGERED By This FACT
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
185.51363
Summary
In this episode, we are joined by our special guest, Adebanjo, as she shares her story of how she realised she was in a traditional and modern relationship. We discuss the pros and cons of traditional vs. modern relationships, what it means to be a woman in a modern relationship, and how to deal with the pressures society puts on women.
Transcript
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ever had a conversation with your parents about marriage no go ahead yeah yeah what'd they tell
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you oh my i mean my mom has been married once she wasn't married to my dad actually
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um but she had three kids from him so that automatically showed me that you don't have
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to be married in order to build a life right um are they still together no no they're not
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um my mom ultimately doesn't really believe in love at the moment oh wow it's like yeah so you
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really didn't have like an example to look up to well what is like who do you who do you go to
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about relationship questions um no one not really i don't really i don't really um talk to i'm very
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like to myself i keep to myself because i feel like that's where i find my peace and um
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i feel like not everybody can relate to my mindset so i don't necessarily go to anyone
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i don't know yeah that makes sense um my parents i grew up in quite a toxic household so i wouldn't
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say that i've gone to my parents for any relationship marriage advice but my friends my best friend's
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parents have been married for 20 plus years and i really look up to their marriage i see how they
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are with each other and it also showed me what to like accept and like my like what i expect from
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a relationship kind of like i don't know like when you see like a a successful like marriage and a
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successful relationship it kind of was like okay like i strive to have that in the future but have
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you ever asked them about how they stayed married and like what advice they would have for you
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communication is that what they said yeah communication is so important okay what about
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you never um where do i go for advice i thought for relationship advice i don't go anywhere for
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relationship advice i've never actually thought about doing such thing actually are your parents
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still married yeah yeah yeah what do you think they would say does your mom listen to your dad
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dad for the most part yeah yeah so you think that might be a good way to go about it it has its ups
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and downs coming from an african household so i can't really like touching that too tough where are your
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parents from nigeria nigeria yeah what are what are some of the cons of submission not having your own
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mind and somewhat being manipulative you you think that um women are manipulated they're manipulated yeah
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yeah how so being controlled she's right yeah there's a potential for that yeah like they have their own
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mind they know what is right they know what is good but just because that's what the man wants that's
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what's gonna go because of what they've said even though within them they know no when did your mind
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start to because i'd imagine it wasn't your whole life that you thought this way no no so when when
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did you start to think that was bad um properly
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last year when i realized it and you're 22 yeah 22 so around 21 so you're in school right yeah yeah and
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when i started realizing it was when i was like 14 15 okay yeah who do you think has better outcomes
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traditional relationships or modern that's a hard one because the reason why i said that because it
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all stands from culture as well so it's like it all depends like for example muslims and christians you
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can't really like put them in the same conversation because there's times when they have arranged
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marriages and they have to go with what their family says or what the husband says and they're
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not allowed to have like maybe like businesses of their own is that right is that wrong i don't i
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don't think that i think a lot of them work in like family businesses yeah but i'm talking about having
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their own businesses do women don't want to work with do women typically want their own businesses
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are women typically good at business yes yes there's a lot of successful no black and white women
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who are having successful businesses but you know what i'll actually like stop you there for a second
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because like i think it's modern day society that has pushed women to want their own businesses and to
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become like ceos and stuff because traditionally a lot of women like they stay at home the man is the
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breadwinner you know they look after the kids they they do whatever they do but like modern day
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society is like like oh women should be bosses too and women should go for this i think there is
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definitely added pressure for that i think every single one can be a business woman and be a boss
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but there is that added pressure with the media that definitely is that is that you can scroll on
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tick tock and then it's not it's not a good or a bad thing i guess it just kind of depends what
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so that goes back to when women didn't have the rights to vote is that i think we should go back to
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that i decided that yeah is that good or bad like that was good pardon it's good yeah it's good yeah
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yeah okay cool thank you yeah i'm done i think that women are bad at business you think there's
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certain aspects depending on what it is you can't say no they're not good at hair business or eyelash
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businesses because i got what i think that men make more logical decisions and women make a lot of
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decisions based off emotion yeah no because men have had more time yeah because we do know we do
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know that females are more emotionally wired than men yeah yeah 100 100 and i do feel like women make
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a lot of decisions based off emotion a lot of the time yeah they do they do and that's why that's why
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they may not necessarily be as if i get in an argument i literally like if i'm dating someone i get in a
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fight an argument i'm really heated i literally have to give myself like a three hour four hour break
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just to like control my emotions then go back on it on a calm head because i was i would say some
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rash things out of emotion like i said emotion is you know women us females all about like the feeling
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and emotions but men just don't really care you know what i just looked up i was just curious
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founder i i just did the first big beauty brand i could think of l'oreal who founded it guy
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oh it's a guy yeah actually that's a lot with fashion designers
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if you look at women i just don't think women manage people well and to get a really really big
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business business is about money and men are all about their money their income and they're all
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about the numbers they don't care about feeling they care about emotions which is good and which is
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which is good yeah like which is why they're very driven in okay money numbers like pretty little
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fingers own bad guy knife it is it is and they're all about you know driving that and they'll and
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they get rid of people that like are bad immediately yeah where it's like women we're like oh we'll keep
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them on yeah and i say this i say this are all about good customer service but i say this as someone
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that's like doing it i'm like 90 percent of women couldn't do what i do and i don't and i couldn't
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do it without men like i could i couldn't if i didn't have the structure of guys around like i couldn't
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do it 100 even with me when i'm filming my music videos and doing all these shows and like tools
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or whatever like a lot of them are men actually that's the reason why a lot of women yeah that's
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the reason why a lot of women go to men for advice because they're not like what's that word they're
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just logical they're just straight up yeah yeah yeah and also like to be a ceo or like an owner of a
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business you have to be ruthless like yeah you have to be ruthless like not a lot of women have that in
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them to have that stern like control you know what phrase do you know what phrase i think is
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reversed when they say behind every successful man is a successful woman i think it's the other
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way around behind every successful woman is a successful man i agree because if you if you look
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at even like pop stars like a lot of times there's always a mentor isn't there someone mentoring them
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that is so true yeah that is true and if you look at it i think like even from my personal experience
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as well yeah i look up to like a lot of guys who are like big in the music industry who i'm close
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with and who are like famous famous and i've learned a lot like so much even even yeah i talked to i talked
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to someone in the freaking um i forgot who someone that worked in the music industry and they said the
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reason that record labels are like slow to sign girls is because they'll meet a boy and then just
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yeah just like stop yeah yeah but then that's because they haven't got control over their emotions
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you've got a lot of women yeah they get into a relationship and they just forget about everything
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else so yeah again like they make their relationship their whole life and then we keep saying about how
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you need to love yourself and have con self-control boundaries and like yeah don't just drop everything
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for this i think i mean it just it depends what outcome you want yeah so it depends if if you want to
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make a bunch of money and that's your number one priority then sure but i mean i know girls that
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want 13 kids yeah so how old do you want how old do you want a baby so for a girl that wants 13 kids
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what's the best in the blink of an eye yeah what's the best outcome for her oh there's a guy that'll pay
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the bills he wants a lot of kids drop everything that's why they'll stay because it's what they want
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that's why that's why so the girls that like oftentimes if you see like the girls that say
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don't drop everything you know they don't usually have better outcomes than the girls that do
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um i mean when it comes to relationships yeah what i would say as well though like behind
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every like that phrase behind every man there is a successful woman i wouldn't necessarily say
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like successful in like the financial like sector or something but a woman that's supportive and pushes
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him to do better like maybe she's there to help him emotionally like he comes home and he's been
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working a really long day and he knows that he's going to come home to a cooked meal and he's going
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to come home to love and support no matter no matter what i think that's really motivating for him
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i'm going to name i'm going to name three billionaires bill gates jeff bezos elon musk
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he's divorced divorced single what he's single he's got like he's got like six baby mama
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he's a jamaican at all he breeds them he's a jamaican at all
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yeah jamaican guys they always they breed anything
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oh literally oh no no no no no no no forget non-shirts
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like you're in demons you're about demons as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock
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