JustPearlyThings - March 15, 2023


She Said He EX Did This To Her


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

201.32701

Word count

2,124

Sentence count

235

Harmful content

Misogyny

9

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, the guys talk about how to deal with a breakup and how to get over a bad one. We also discuss how to move on from a bad breakup and what to do if your ex moves on from you.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Has anyone ever done that?
00:00:02.000 Anyone?
00:00:04.000 Two? Okay, so the majority.
00:00:06.000 What are you? What are you?
00:00:08.000 I shouldn't put my hand up really because nobody I've been at
00:00:10.000 have done Facebook.
00:00:12.000 Why are you half open?
00:00:14.000 I was like, why are you half raising your hand?
00:00:16.000 Because I don't know if I should say too much.
00:00:18.000 I'm joking, I'm joking, I'm joking.
00:00:20.000 If anyone is watching, I'm joking, I promise.
00:00:22.000 I think you promise.
00:00:24.000 Yeah, I haven't.
00:00:26.000 Do you guys get mad if the girl you feel like is prettier than you
00:00:28.000 or better looking? Not just happy.
00:00:30.000 You're happy for them.
00:00:32.000 I feel like for me personally,
00:00:34.000 it depends on how soon after
00:00:36.000 the breakup.
00:00:38.000 So how soon would piss you off
00:00:40.000 versus how soon would make you happy for them?
00:00:44.000 After she's moved on.
00:00:46.000 If I haven't moved on you can't.
00:00:50.000 Or you can, just not someone better looking than me.
00:00:54.000 Does it depend on the ex too?
00:00:56.000 Like how much you liked the ex?
00:00:58.000 Whether you're happy for them or mad?
00:01:00.000 No.
00:01:02.000 No, just happy to move on.
00:01:04.000 So I kind of look at life as lessons.
00:01:06.000 So for me not to be with someone.
00:01:08.000 I mean, it's taken me a while to get here, to be fair.
00:01:10.000 But it's my stance now.
00:01:12.000 It wasn't previously, possibly, maybe before.
00:01:14.000 But I think everyone, there's a reason behind everything and a why.
00:01:20.000 And I think if we're not meant to be together, then we're not meant to be together.
00:01:24.000 Be happy.
00:01:26.000 Good luck to the next person.
00:01:28.000 I mean, I'm still kind of mad.
00:01:30.000 I mean, I don't wish you the best.
00:01:32.000 It's taken me a long while to get here.
00:01:34.000 But yeah, I just think, yeah.
00:01:36.000 I don't think that at all.
00:01:38.000 I think if it's a bad breakup, you're seeing with somebody else, you think,
00:01:42.000 yeah, I'm glad she's got you. I ain't got you.
00:01:44.000 I was going to say the same.
00:01:46.000 You're someone else's problem now.
00:01:48.000 I was going to say the same.
00:01:49.000 It works both ways, both ways.
00:01:50.000 But then if it was a good breakup, you know, you just think to yourself,
00:01:54.000 I've got you there.
00:01:56.000 You deserve her.
00:01:57.000 Because you ain't going to be as good as me, but well done.
00:02:00.000 Because women are bitches. 1.00
00:02:01.000 And they're always going to say things like that.
00:02:02.000 You're not going to say you're going to be happy for someone,
00:02:04.000 you just split up with them.
00:02:05.000 Come on.
00:02:06.000 But is a bad breakup better than a good one?
00:02:08.000 I don't know.
00:02:09.000 What do you mean is a bad breakup better?
00:02:11.000 If I and I was to break up with someone, there's either two ways I can break up.
00:02:15.000 One, we have the most craziest fight and I say, fuck you, and I leave.
00:02:19.000 Or it could be, right, we're going to sit down and talk.
00:02:21.000 We're going to figure this out, why it didn't work out.
00:02:23.000 But at the end of the day, I just don't want to be with you.
00:02:25.000 And on both parties, it's the same.
00:02:27.000 What's going to help me?
00:02:28.000 Like, in which circumstance am I going to be like, yeah, you know what?
00:02:31.000 If you moved on to another girl, I'll be like, yeah, good for you. 1.00
00:02:34.000 Do you get it?
00:02:35.000 Because either way, if we end up in a fight and you left, I'll be like, good for you.
00:02:39.000 So which would you prefer, the bad breakup or the amicable one?
00:02:43.000 I think I'd prefer amicable.
00:02:45.000 Okay.
00:02:46.000 Sit down and talk.
00:02:47.000 Like, that's what I'd prefer anyway.
00:02:49.000 I know.
00:02:50.000 Sometimes if it's a bad breakup, it's just like, it makes you get over it faster.
00:02:54.000 You think so?
00:02:55.000 I'd prefer the bad ones because it's just like, done and out of the way.
00:02:58.000 I mean, it's like, you don't because you don't want to deal with the drama of it.
00:03:02.000 But at the same time, then you're just over it.
00:03:05.000 You've got things to say.
00:03:06.000 Oh, no, no.
00:03:07.000 What's a bad breakup?
00:03:08.000 What entails a bad breakup?
00:03:09.000 It sounds all crazy.
00:03:10.000 Can I hear what everybody's...
00:03:11.000 What's your worst breakup ever been like?
00:03:13.000 Um...
00:03:14.000 Because this sounds like, usually they're doing something.
00:03:16.000 It's bad.
00:03:17.000 It's like crazy.
00:03:18.000 My ex broke into my flat after I ended it.
00:03:20.000 I think two months after I ended it, he broke into my flat and hid in my wardrobe.
00:03:24.000 Oh, my God.
00:03:25.000 Wow.
00:03:26.000 Stop waiting.
00:03:27.000 Wow.
00:03:28.000 That is not a level.
00:03:29.000 All right, so wait.
00:03:30.000 Okay, okay, let me...
00:03:31.000 Is this...
00:03:32.000 She spoke.
00:03:33.000 Oh, she... 1.00
00:03:34.000 You're looking over there, wasn't it?
00:03:35.000 I thought she was...
00:03:36.000 No, I thought she was...
00:03:37.000 Yeah, I'm watching.
00:03:38.000 Anyway, so...
00:03:39.000 So...
00:03:40.000 Okay.
00:03:41.000 Who broke up with who?
00:03:42.000 I...
00:03:43.000 So...
00:03:44.000 It was quite bad.
00:03:45.000 I ended it with him, but he had nowhere to go.
00:03:47.000 And I said, oh, I will support you.
00:03:49.000 So you lived together?
00:03:50.000 Was he a bum? 0.99
00:03:51.000 Was he living with you?
00:03:52.000 Yeah.
00:03:53.000 Okay.
00:03:54.000 I was paying the rent.
00:03:55.000 Okay, okay.
00:03:56.000 So...
00:03:57.000 Was he hot?
00:03:58.000 Was he hot?
00:03:59.000 How tall was he?
00:04:01.000 A bit taller.
00:04:02.000 How tall?
00:04:03.000 Just a couple of inches.
00:04:04.000 You don't say that, Pearl.
00:04:05.000 You say, was he good in bed?
00:04:07.000 I was better in bed.
00:04:09.000 I was better in bed.
00:04:10.000 No wonder he broke in.
00:04:12.000 Okay, okay.
00:04:15.000 So, you break up with him, then what happened?
00:04:17.000 So, I supported him through the breakup, obviously, so he could get his own place.
00:04:23.000 Because I knew if I kicked him out, he'd turn back up on my doorstep.
00:04:26.000 Don't want that.
00:04:27.000 So, he moved out.
00:04:29.000 Everything was fine.
00:04:30.000 I was even praying to God, like, please, just let this go nicely.
00:04:34.000 He left.
00:04:35.000 About two...
00:04:36.000 A month later, I'm hearing my name outside my house.
00:04:39.000 I'm thinking, what the hell, calling my family?
00:04:42.000 Everyone's saying, are you sure you're not having a mental breakdown?
00:04:45.000 They actually believed I was losing my mind.
00:04:48.000 And then, on my birthday, which was like a month after that, he'd broke into my house.
00:04:54.000 He was hiding in my wardrobe.
00:04:56.000 And, yeah, it just went...
00:04:59.000 Like, he didn't come out, but I could smell him in my house.
00:05:03.000 How long was he there before?
00:05:04.000 I don't know.
00:05:05.000 No, seriously, because he was outside.
00:05:07.000 And I took my heels off and run up four flights of stairs.
00:05:11.000 And then, I've gone in, shut the door behind me, and everyone's trying to get in.
00:05:15.000 And I was just like, when I find you, it's over.
00:05:19.000 I could just smell him in my flat, and I couldn't find him.
00:05:22.000 And then I left, and he broke out afterwards.
00:05:28.000 Oh, my gosh.
00:05:29.000 That's a lot.
00:05:30.000 I've heard of a woman breaking into a man's house. 1.00
00:05:32.000 What?
00:05:33.000 I've heard of a woman breaking into a man's, but it's the first time I've heard of a man breaking into a woman. 0.93
00:05:37.000 Aunty, what are you doing if someone stands out of your house like that, and comes inside into your wardrobe?
00:05:40.000 What are you doing?
00:05:41.000 No, you're inside your mind.
00:05:44.000 That's the law.
00:05:45.000 That's the law, isn't it?
00:05:46.000 My property.
00:05:47.000 You're inside.
00:05:48.000 I never invited you.
00:05:49.000 You know, I'm not leaving.
00:05:51.000 You have to get past me.
00:05:53.000 Are we fighting them?
00:05:55.000 I'm not fighting.
00:05:56.000 I'm defending myself, because I'm at the door.
00:05:57.000 There's a difference.
00:05:58.000 Okay.
00:05:59.000 Legally.
00:06:00.000 That's what I mean.
00:06:01.000 I know what I'm saying.
00:06:02.000 I know what I'm saying.
00:06:04.000 What else?
00:06:05.000 Who else?
00:06:06.000 Anyone?
00:06:07.000 Yeah, crazy.
00:06:08.000 Worst breakup?
00:06:09.000 Or is it worse if the person is bad?
00:06:12.000 Yeah, the worst breakup I want to hear.
00:06:14.000 Yeah.
00:06:15.000 I want to hear that.
00:06:16.000 I'd say, are there nice breakups?
00:06:18.000 Are there ever nice breakups?
00:06:19.000 Has anyone had a nice breakup?
00:06:20.000 I've had a nice breakup.
00:06:21.000 Have you?
00:06:22.000 Yeah, most of them have been nice.
00:06:23.000 Yes, there is.
00:06:24.000 Yes, there is.
00:06:25.000 There is such a thing as nice breakup, guys.
00:06:26.000 All about communication here.
00:06:27.000 So tell me about the one that wasn't nice.
00:06:29.000 What happened?
00:06:32.000 Do I really want to go into that?
00:06:36.000 Just move over it.
00:06:37.000 Do you do it back to it?
00:06:38.000 Yeah.
00:06:39.000 So, way back in my past, I'm not going to go to my recent.
00:06:43.000 Way back in my past, I had someone that was a bit obsessive actually.
00:06:49.000 He left.
00:06:50.000 He finished the relationship.
00:06:52.000 And then he thought he could go away for the weekend, mess around a bit and come back.
00:06:58.000 And I'd had enough.
00:06:59.000 And I said, no.
00:07:00.000 And then he was finding me in the streets on his hands and knees, crying, begging.
00:07:08.000 You know, yeah, it's a bit messy.
00:07:10.000 And he would try and break in, but he didn't ever succeed.
00:07:13.000 Wait, he was trying to break in?
00:07:14.000 Yeah.
00:07:15.000 He put a ladder up to the window and also, there was a lot.
00:07:17.000 Is this a common thing?
00:07:18.000 There was a lot.
00:07:19.000 Yeah.
00:07:20.000 He didn't get in, but it was weird.
00:07:23.000 Why are you nodding?
00:07:24.000 No, no, no.
00:07:25.000 I'm not involved in this one.
00:07:27.000 Yeah.
00:07:28.000 So he put a ladder onto your door and tried to, or up to your window.
00:07:32.000 No, no, up to the second.
00:07:33.000 Yeah.
00:07:34.000 And then tried to get, get in.
00:07:36.000 To get in.
00:07:37.000 Yeah.
00:07:38.000 Did you call the cops?
00:07:39.000 Did I call it?
00:07:40.000 Do you know it was a long time?
00:07:41.000 No, I don't think I did.
00:07:42.000 I think I just got out of the way of the window.
00:07:44.000 He couldn't get in.
00:07:45.000 So what was he going to do?
00:07:46.000 It was just stupid.
00:07:47.000 It was just such a stupid thing to do.
00:07:48.000 Okay.
00:07:49.000 You go up a ladder, go back down again.
00:07:50.000 See ya.
00:07:51.000 Yeah.
00:07:52.000 All right.
00:07:53.000 Have fun.
00:07:54.000 Wow.
00:07:55.000 That's, I can't believe there's two people in here.
00:07:56.000 He didn't succeed though.
00:07:57.000 And he didn't hide in a wardrobe.
00:07:59.000 I mean, he did do some weird things over the years, but I'm not going to go into stuff.
00:08:04.000 Okay.
00:08:05.000 Um, is dating a younger, more attractive man than your ex considered a win?
00:08:10.000 Why or why not?
00:08:13.000 Doesn't it depend on how he treats you and what person he is?
00:08:16.000 Um, how he carries himself, whether he's holding doors open for you, whether all those nice things that you like from a man to be treated like a woman.
00:08:26.000 Um, is he doing those things?
00:08:28.000 Does age really matter?
00:08:29.000 Can I just say if I was to date a younger guy than I am like was dating or I'm dating, whatever the situation may be, I'd probably catch a case.
00:08:38.000 Yeah.
00:08:39.000 You're young now.
00:08:40.000 You're at that.
00:08:41.000 It's crazy.
00:08:42.000 I've got a bit of leeway.
00:08:43.000 You've got no leeway.
00:08:44.000 I've got some leeway.
00:08:45.000 What are you talking about?
00:08:46.000 The question's based on the, um, Tom Brady and Giselle.
00:08:50.000 Oh, okay.
00:08:51.000 Let's catch a case.
00:08:52.000 She was dating a 24 year old.
00:08:53.000 What do you mean catch a case?
00:08:54.000 How old is she? 0.98
00:08:55.000 She's 40 something.
00:08:56.000 I mean, I don't know if I'd want to date a man that's that much younger because it takes a man, it takes men a while. They have to get some things out of their system before they settle down.
00:09:09.000 And yeah, they mature a lot slower.
00:09:13.000 I don't know if I'd want to do that.
00:09:15.000 No, but then you've got to look at is, are you actually looking to have a, are you, for this younger person, you actually looking to have a relationship?
00:09:21.000 I don't, I don't date without having a relationship.
00:09:24.000 I don't get involved with anyone unless I see a relationship potential.
00:09:28.000 I don't do that.
00:09:29.000 Sorry.
00:09:30.000 One thing that I would point out is women typically don't want younger men and attractive is somewhat secondary. 0.87
00:09:36.000 Um, I think for men, if they had a, you know, a younger, more attractive, um, new person than their ex, then it would be a win for them because that is kind of their dating metric.
00:09:47.000 That's what they look for.
00:09:48.000 Uh, whereas with women, I would typically look for someone that's older. 1.00
00:09:52.000 Like my partner's a little older than me.
00:09:54.000 Um, and attraction, you know, a lot of times women can replace that with, for example, you know, status or money. 1.00
00:10:03.000 Whereas with men, if you're not attractive, they won't even give you the time of day. 0.89
00:10:06.000 So, uh, the question was kind of asked in reverse.
00:10:09.000 It wouldn't be, you know, a win for women, but definitely for men. 0.75
00:10:12.000 I think as many of, you know, I was just banned on tick tock and we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:10:21.000 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
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00:10:29.000 Thank you.
00:10:30.000 Thank you.
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00:10:32.000 Thank you.