JustPearlyThings - May 10, 2023


She Surrounded Herself With Single Mothers


Episode Stats


Length

9 minutes

Words per minute

203.6453

Word count

1,851

Sentence count

92

Harmful content

Misogyny

3

sentences flagged

Hate speech

1

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about how tall is too tall and how tall should you be in a relationship. We also talk about what it means to be an independent woman in a modern relationship and how to make sacrifices in relationships.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 What would you like to man, what would I like, and what would you like?
00:00:02.440 Okay, okay, okay, I just, I just wanna, okay, just, just raise it, okay, okay, I'll help you, I'll help you, I'll help you, here you go, here you go.
00:00:09.160 You don't need to help me.
00:00:09.860 Just, okay, okay, so, so couch, just raise a hand, I'm just curious, do you prefer men with jobs or no jobs?
00:00:16.860 So, job, raise your hand for jobs, jobs, okay, she's difficult, we don't, we don't care about that. 0.95
00:00:22.040 So, okay, do you prefer men five foot or six foot, raise your, I mean, you're annoying, so, okay, so five foot, five foot or six foot.
00:00:30.000 Six foot, six, six, okay, you know, five foot, so how many of you, it doesn't matter to me anymore.
00:00:35.360 It doesn't matter, if you had to pick one of the two, five foot or six foot, yeah, I mean, this is fine.
00:00:40.500 See, they're not offended, you guys offended?
00:00:42.540 Just answer those questions, so I'm not having a comment.
00:00:44.540 Oh, no, they're not offended right now, because you're on your show, but they'll be offended when they leave outside.
00:00:48.040 I'm almost gonna be offended, why don't you just, I'm not gonna be six foot after the show.
00:00:51.600 Oh, don't worry, you could just add on to the video's answer.
00:00:53.600 Why don't you, yeah, I'm not gonna wait, so that I won't be offended, it's fine.
00:00:56.440 Why wouldn't you want us to answer her questions?
00:00:58.440 She's just asking honest questions, man, five foot or six foot. 0.99
00:01:02.400 Okay.
00:01:03.400 How tall are you?
00:01:04.400 Why does it matter?
00:01:05.400 Just answer the question.
00:01:06.400 How tall are you?
00:01:07.400 Just answer the question.
00:01:08.400 I don't need to, I'm not, you answer the question.
00:01:09.400 How tall are you?
00:01:10.400 You answer that, I'll answer it.
00:01:11.400 But it wasn't directed to me.
00:01:12.400 It wasn't directed to me.
00:01:13.400 I'm 5'7", how tall are you?
00:01:14.400 I'm taller than you.
00:01:15.400 How tall is that?
00:01:16.400 Over 5'7".
00:01:17.400 How tall are you?
00:01:19.400 Taller than 5'7".
00:01:20.400 I'm 5'7".
00:01:21.360 I'm 5'7".
00:01:22.360 No, I didn't ask your height.
00:01:24.360 I can't ask your height.
00:01:25.360 I said, would you date a guy that was 5 foot or 6 foot if you had to pick?
00:01:28.320 Two guys, same guy.
00:01:29.320 Okay.
00:01:30.320 No, no, no, no.
00:01:31.320 I'm asking you.
00:01:32.320 No, no, no, no.
00:01:33.320 I'm asking you.
00:01:34.320 No, I'm asking you.
00:01:35.320 I'm asking you.
00:01:36.320 I'm asking you.
00:01:37.320 How tall are you?
00:01:38.320 Five foot or six foot.
00:01:39.320 How tall are you?
00:01:40.320 Why wouldn't you answer her question?
00:01:41.320 It's not even my show.
00:01:42.320 Why are you asking me?
00:01:43.320 Let's go.
00:01:44.320 Okay.
00:01:45.320 Do you want, no, I didn't ask your height.
00:01:46.320 I said, would you date a guy that was 5 foot or 6 foot if you had to pick?
00:01:49.320 Two guys, same guy.
00:01:50.320 Okay.
00:01:51.320 No, no, no.
00:01:52.320 Listen.
00:01:53.320 I'm asking you, 5 foot or 6 foot.
00:01:54.320 No, because I don't date people on that.
00:01:55.320 Okay.
00:01:56.320 If you're not, if you're not going to answer the questions, you can go because it is very
00:01:59.320 disruptive.
00:02:00.320 I don't.
00:02:01.320 Five, six or five, seven.
00:02:02.320 I like personalities.
00:02:03.320 No.
00:02:04.320 I said five foot or six foot.
00:02:05.320 Six foot.
00:02:06.320 Okay.
00:02:07.320 Okay.
00:02:08.320 So you like taller.
00:02:09.320 What a surprise.
00:02:10.320 Okay.
00:02:11.320 Job or no job.
00:02:16.320 It depends what they can provide.
00:02:17.320 No.
00:02:18.320 Job or no job.
00:02:19.320 Would you rather have a guy that's unemployed on benefits or a guy with a job?
00:02:22.320 Come on.
00:02:23.320 Well, if he's got no job and he's doing it, it depends when you say no job.
00:02:27.320 Your man's got a job.
00:02:28.320 Unemployed.
00:02:29.320 Yeah.
00:02:30.320 My man's got a job.
00:02:31.320 Job.
00:02:32.320 Job.
00:02:33.320 Job.
00:02:34.320 Job.
00:02:35.320 Job.
00:02:36.320 Job.
00:02:37.320 Job.
00:02:38.320 Job.
00:02:39.320 Job.
00:02:40.320 Job.
00:02:41.320 Job.
00:02:42.320 Job.
00:02:43.320 Job.
00:02:44.320 Job.
00:02:45.320 Job.
00:02:46.320 Job.
00:02:47.320 Job.
00:02:48.320 Job.
00:02:49.320 Job.
00:02:50.320 Job.
00:02:51.320 Job.
00:02:52.320 Job.
00:02:53.320 Because we all agree that you have to make sacrifices in relationships, right?
00:02:55.320 So what sacrifices are you willing to make in a relationship?
00:02:58.320 relationship you know what we had we just had the conversation before you came and we were talking
00:03:04.200 about if we see ourself as modern woman and independent woman and i made a transition i used
00:03:08.800 to think i was a misindependent modern woman but the recent years i've made that transition and
00:03:16.780 i never thought i would give up my career uh you know just like on being in a higher position i
00:03:25.100 was looking when i was young i was always looking for status i was looking to go up the career ladder
00:03:30.080 making money but over time it has changed i think now i'm getting old and i'm like hey
00:03:35.000 have i been wasting some years do you think you have uh now looking back no i like i i don't like
00:03:44.340 to think so but if i would were to go back and do some things different i would but i don't regret
00:03:49.220 it because that has added to my experience now what would you do different well don't listen to songs
00:03:54.440 like neo miss independent first of all right and i think it's like this music culture and
00:04:02.620 yeah society i i would have gone back and gone spoke to my aunties more spoke to my mom more from sudan
00:04:11.360 the traditions because i see my my parents are still married my grandparents are still married
00:04:16.040 and i i would have i wanted to rebel against that when i was younger now i made that transition
00:04:22.540 and i'm thinking i'm not that independent woman i don't want to be an independent woman anymore
00:04:27.680 so i would if it's the right man i believe that the right man we have we have aligned visions and
00:04:34.460 missions so um i'm willing to give up everything i had in my career to go what for what god has put
00:04:42.800 us together as a mission together i would do that yeah so you would give up your career for a family say
00:04:48.040 okay i would if god wants me to do that i would yeah so one thing you said you said you don't
00:04:53.700 regret it uh or you do like if i were to go back i would do some things different but i i'm grateful
00:05:00.520 for where i'm at right now so i'm grateful that i had this experience now i have a little niece
00:05:05.440 i can teach her those things so she doesn't go the road that i went to but um i just never understand
00:05:12.640 when women say they don't regret it if they would change it because then wouldn't you regret it 1.00
00:05:16.860 i don't understand your question like i've heard girls say that and it doesn't compute to me because
00:05:23.260 me if like if i would change something then i regret a certain decision well it's it's the feeling
00:05:28.660 if you don't like the outcome if you don't like the outcome like why don't you regret it
00:05:32.680 well it's to be honest pearl i don't i again like i'm i'm not gonna apologize for it i'm very
00:05:39.620 faith-driven so i speak from that perspective and um regret is a very it's it's a very bad feeling
00:05:46.820 and it's i don't believe that we're meant to live with regret so before i was regretting it for sure
00:05:52.840 i was feeling those regret i was feeling those oh i shouldn't have done but then because i'm safe now
00:05:58.780 because i have a different life now i don't carry those feelings anymore i'm set free from that
00:06:04.080 so yeah if i if i was it was why would anyone want to live with regret and why would that be
00:06:10.700 comfortable for anybody to live with regret and why would you anybody see that i don't like a way
00:06:17.520 that i don't mean in a way that shames but to me like when i hear that it just sounds like the same
00:06:22.780 thing that was my question because if i would change something and i regret it well regret if you're
00:06:27.340 living regret it's like you're holding on to something then you can't at the same time be grateful
00:06:32.180 for who you are now what you've got oh so it's kind of like just not living in like the shame
00:06:36.240 of the decision in the past it's okay i did that and like um sorry was it carmen yeah yeah she was
00:06:42.480 saying it's it's what she's learned from it so how can you regret that it's like wow i've learned
00:06:47.260 from if i didn't go through this path path i wouldn't even know i could have no i mean i could
00:06:52.380 absolutely look at certain decisions that i've learned from and be like well i regret yeah i wish i
00:06:57.360 didn't do that 100 there are things i've done and i'm not saying you should wallow in it you can't
00:07:01.280 change it yeah but yeah i get what you're saying there are certain things that yeah i wish i did not
00:07:05.900 do that i did not need to learn in that way i could have learned from other people but so yeah so
00:07:10.160 you mentioned you went from being more modern to being more traditional um what what did you do
00:07:14.840 specifically um to make that change yeah so uh when i when i came here when i went to germany i lived in
00:07:22.400 germany most of my life and then i came to the uk so i was more um i the culture has changed so i
00:07:29.700 wasn't into very traditional i wasn't so close to my sudanese background so i was more around people
00:07:35.160 who were living a very modern life and there's a lot of my friends were with single parents so in my
00:07:42.440 culture it's not this is not happening and um that has shaped who i was becoming so so you didn't
00:07:49.660 surround yourself with modern people no i did i did no i'm saying now you you chose to switch it
00:07:54.460 to more now i have empathy okay now i have i can understand why they're living this way and why i
00:08:02.600 rebelled against my roots and who i came from uh but i made the transition so because i saw this
00:08:09.400 yeah i saw i i saw this freedom i saw this empowered woman i can be everything i can do everything
00:08:16.200 but that comes with a price so uh and because you moved from your country to a more western and
00:08:24.220 more free country could it be that yeah yeah for sure for sure yeah western uh country has definitely
00:08:29.840 shaped me and i have to be honest not for the best way how old were you when you came to the uk
00:08:36.060 from germany three years three years old three years yeah no when i came from sudan to germany
00:08:41.960 no no but from germany to uk how old was he i think 18 19 okay yeah so as many of you know i was just
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