JustPearlyThings - The New NORM Of SOCIETY

00:00:00.000 but this is this is genuinely because of like do you guys agree that in general sex comes before

00:00:04.640 relationships nowadays yeah in general now yeah got some cappers on the couch sometimes sex happen

00:00:13.120 just if you're just talking yeah yeah but women are in control of who they sleep with like women 1.00

00:00:17.440 are in control of sex so if relationships are failing like and women are the ones leaving 0.91

00:00:21.840 relationships so it's unfortunate because when we got all the power go boy we abused it let me tell

00:00:27.760 you but we use it in the wrong way do you think it's fair for women to expect monogamy if they 0.99

00:00:32.160 have children from a previous guy i mean i think you should expect monogamy if the conversation

00:00:39.440 hasn't been had otherwise you know i mean just generally um it's more likely if you i feel like

00:00:46.080 if you've got children from a previous relationship um i think it's probably more likely that you're

00:00:51.200 going to get cheated on um because you're going to know that that person probably has less option to

00:00:56.320 just walk away after that it's more it's more likely that they will try and work out if they've

00:01:01.280 already got children from a past relationship they don't necessarily want to lose that person

00:01:05.280 that they've been in a relationship with you know what i mean so um yeah i i think that as long as

00:01:10.640 as long as there's honesty you know then anything's possible but without that then you know and don't

00:01:16.160 ever undermine the power and influence of a stepfather or a stepmother yeah i came from a single

00:01:21.680 parent family who had shout my mom my dad ran away and this man came into my life and he's the

00:01:27.760 biggest blessing that's ever happened to me so like honestly don't i know this is a random spur

00:01:31.840 sorry it's just emotion speaking it's the most important thing it's the only thing that could

00:01:36.720 potentially eclipse the heartbreak of not knowing your real father or your real mom yeah if someone's

00:01:42.240 strong enough manly enough or willing enough to come in and take that role it doesn't fill the void

00:01:46.640 it permanently but it does help it helps heal the hurt so much and i put that male energy as well

00:01:55.280 but the issue is it's just a bad deal for guys to be honest to date a single mother but you say that

00:02:01.440 though yeah but i could call my step dad right now and i'll tell you for a fact i know i'm not talking

00:02:05.840 about you hit the jackpot right i'm not i'm not talking about you i'm talking about in general

00:02:10.240 i'm a hypocrite on that because i was raised by a single mother my mother to me is an angel but i

00:02:17.920 wouldn't want to go with a woman who already has a child and that's just no disrespect it's just like 0.99

00:02:21.840 yeah for me yeah that makes sense for me i'm i i just wouldn't want to do that because it's a lot to

00:02:27.120 take from and there's another man in this situation i don't want to have to deal with that at the same

00:02:32.480 time i'm a single mom yeah i'm a single mom and at the same time when you want to meet me you already

00:02:38.080 know that i have a child and obviously she will be my number one priority it doesn't matter no

00:02:43.680 matter what even myself i'm gonna put myself last and that's why it's it's kind of a respect from me

00:02:48.560 is because i'm like i can't yeah you know i can't make a mistake with a woman who's got a child yeah

00:02:54.320 there's that jerry mcguire movie where he's like you don't shop the putty like you don't you don't

00:02:59.200 mess around with a woman who's got a child already you have to treat her with a lot of respect is it

00:03:03.280 is a different day it's a more dangerous situation because people get hurt more well and you're supposed to

00:03:07.440 put your and you're supposed to put your i disagree with what do you disagree with yeah i i mean yeah

00:03:12.800 you have to put uh respect and all that but because i'm a single mom doesn't mean i'm a very weak person

00:03:19.840 i'm more stronger than ever no what i mean is because there's a child involved i treat it more seriously

00:03:26.160 than if it's just me and a girl and if our feelings get hurt that's the that's one thing when there's a

00:03:31.200 child involved that's a whole bigger situation and that's why i wouldn't i agree i would be more

00:03:36.640 oh is this what i want to do i'd be saying at the same time if you can be straightforward and at the

00:03:41.200 point and honest and to have an open conversation with me obviously we can agree and if things are

00:03:47.440 not working out that's completely fine i'm not going to get upset i'm not going to be depressed

00:03:50.800 because you don't know that's europe and look that's you but like i don't know every girl's a

00:03:54.960 strong yeah yeah of course yeah yeah yeah that's that's i'm talking just about myself well but

00:03:59.520 there's a couple issues because one if they raise um in the uk if you raise someone else's kid you

00:04:04.560 have no rights to that kid so it's like you could bond with the kid for 10 years and you've no rights

00:04:08.480 to it dude if you've got your own kid you've got no rights right but at least at least that like

00:04:15.760 your genes are passed on but like if you think of it from like a genetic point of view there's no

00:04:19.840 reason for a guy to date a single mom yeah but it's never about the legalities or genetics it's about

00:04:25.840 it's about the impression you leave on another fellow human being yeah i've just told you i've

00:04:29.360 spoken about a stepfather more fondly than i did about my own father that is that that that's worth

00:04:35.040 something surely and i know we're not making it about me but god jesus christ man someone out there

00:04:40.560 must understand it's a beautiful thing to raise a child that's not yours and i think that sounds nice

00:04:46.560 again like it sounds really nice but you know if you had a son you wouldn't encourage if he had no kids

00:04:50.640 you're not going to encourage him to date a single mom if i met a woman who was beautiful and gave me 0.99

00:04:54.800 everything that i wanted but just so happened to have a child you think i'm going to say no because

00:04:59.840 i think you should i think that's not very wise to be honest but i wouldn't be the person i am today

00:05:04.720 if my stepfather didn't take ownership again i think that's like great for you and i think you

00:05:08.720 you ended up in a good situation but i think nowadays it's like you have so much to risk going into

00:05:14.400 relationships as a guy like you have so much to like you don't you might not even understand i just

00:05:19.440 know because i'm doing this documentary in the court system so and it's like you you could spend

00:05:24.160 five years of your time attention and resources and she can leave on a dime i mean they're already 1.00

00:05:28.640 leaving the father of their kids yeah like what has happened to me before i mean the the one of the

00:05:34.400 last relationships i was in um with the mother of one of my children um she already had three children

00:05:41.920 when i when i first met her um we've got a child together um but she already had three children three

00:05:47.040 beautiful children um we were in a relationship for you know five years um in that time i became

00:05:54.240 somewhat these children's real father you know i mean i'm there with them every day i'm doing the

00:05:59.840 school runs picking them up parents evenings you know doctor's appointments all those kinds of things

00:06:05.520 and then um once our relationship had finished i no longer had any rights for those children you know

00:06:12.480 i mean i built up this beautiful relationship i look at them no different from my own

00:06:16.720 biological children you know i mean they were my children they asked even to this day they still

00:06:21.840 are my children but he was however i don't have the same level of was their parent was their dad

00:06:26.160 involved over there that like helping or was he around he's about but he's not about about like you

00:06:30.480 know what i mean and and even the way that he would raise the children would be slightly different

00:06:36.160 from the way that i would raise children you know what i mean so we have our differences in that and

00:06:40.400 it everyone is different anyway and that's that's the other like that's the other issue i've heard

00:06:45.280 is like does she respect your authority over the kids because they're not your kids well it depends 0.99

00:06:50.320 how long you've been together because obviously if you're in the beginning of your relationship it's

00:06:54.560 not gonna but if you're not respecting him in the beginning how does he know you'll respect him in the

00:06:58.240 future you're respecting him but in the same time you have to build that trust over time how did you

00:07:03.280 feel bro just out of curiosity i've given back to those three kids would you see it as some people

00:07:07.680 are insinuating as something that you wouldn't encourage your next man to go through or do you

00:07:12.000 regret it at all i don't regret it i don't regret it i mean i think it's taken a mental toll on me

00:07:17.200 um however i don't regret it i feel like the um the input which i put into those children's lives

00:07:21.920 you know has been positive and i think that one day when they grow up they will they will really

00:07:26.480 appreciate it 100 but what have you sacrificed and that's what i'm saying yeah it's like i i wouldn't

00:07:31.920 even like to have a break with a girl and her keep the dog it would i love dogs

00:07:35.280 let alone like me attaching myself to a a child and feeling like i love this kid i feel like it's

00:07:43.120 mine but it is like literally nothing to do with me after that day would you encourage your son to do it

00:07:51.760 to do what i wouldn't you know i i'm personally i believe in hope and and you know positivity so i

00:07:58.400 would hope that you know if my son did go into that situation he would be able to make the right

00:08:03.440 decisions to make that relationship last um and stick it out for the long run because as i say

00:08:09.280 you know a child needs a father exactly and if you can be that positive role a male role model in

00:08:14.800 someone's life then be it don't you think that's on her to get back with the dad of her kids like 0.89

00:08:19.120 isn't it better if the actual dad is in in their lives yeah yeah of course of course it's better of

00:08:24.720 course so my question is if she's leaving the and i'm not talking about your personal stories but

00:08:29.840 but if she's leaving the mother like the father of her kids which more likely than not she did yeah 0.84

00:08:35.280 and it's like what incentive does she have to stay with you if she didn't even make it work with the 1.00

00:08:40.480 guy who she had a child because we don't know we don't know that the dad that she was with he might

00:08:45.520 have been abusing her physically he might have been well and there's a little bit of a red pill on

00:08:49.360 abuse not as many women that say they were abused were abused and a lot of people don't know this

00:08:53.680 because of the way the family court system is you have to ask if they filed a criminal case and if the answer

00:08:58.400 is no they may not have been because the family court you don't need any evidence to accuse and

00:09:02.880 even um probably sort of prosecute where there's legal consequences um a guy of abuse so there's a

00:09:09.520 lot of girls that go around saying as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we are 0.72

00:09:14.800 demonetized on a daily basis on this platform if you want to help please consider sending a super

00:09:21.920 thanks below every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible

JustPearlyThings - May 17, 2023

The New NORM Of SOCIETY

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