JustPearlyThings - May 14, 2023


This Is Why Men And Women Can’t Be Friends


Episode Stats


Length

10 minutes

Words per minute

203.06352

Word count

2,099

Sentence count

211

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we talk about boundaries and how important it is to have them in place in a relationship. We also talk about cheating and how to deal with it. We have a special guest on the show this week.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 All right, listen to this, yeah.
00:00:01.440 I once had a girl, what was she? 1.00
00:00:03.220 She wanted to come around my yard and work or something, 1.00
00:00:06.540 and she was like, oh, her boyfriend won't allow it
00:00:09.600 because it's just me and her.
00:00:10.500 I was like, but why, though?
00:00:12.000 It's just me and her.
00:00:13.000 She's working from, instead of working from home,
00:00:14.880 she's working from my life.
00:00:15.780 It's about not putting her, so her boyfriend said no.
00:00:19.360 Yeah.
00:00:19.900 It's about her not being in a space or in a situation
00:00:22.960 where something could happen.
00:00:24.840 There should be boundaries in place
00:00:26.200 if you're in a good relationship.
00:00:27.680 She's just a friend of mine.
00:00:28.760 She was a good friend of mine.
00:00:31.060 Yeah, but put it like this.
00:00:32.340 I was in a situation where I helped a girl
00:00:33.960 and do her assignment, but by the end of the night,
00:00:36.040 did we finish the assignment?
00:00:37.220 No.
00:00:39.680 You finished another assignment.
00:00:40.920 No, no.
00:00:42.440 Because one-on-one in those type of situations
00:00:45.380 and those type of times, I can 100% understand
00:00:47.540 the guy being like, oh, I feel a bit aware.
00:00:51.860 You're looking at your face.
00:00:52.700 You were even scheming.
00:00:53.980 I could see your face.
00:00:55.320 Wayne is that guy that cheats on you,
00:00:57.540 and then he'll say to you, he'll say,
00:00:58.780 before 25, don't count.
00:01:00.100 Before 25, don't count.
00:01:00.800 You know you have them man that will be like,
00:01:02.400 yo, my girl's trying to say I was cheating on her. 1.00
00:01:04.360 And I'm like, yeah, but bro, you were cheating on her. 0.88
00:01:05.400 But you were.
00:01:07.360 It's me.
00:01:08.340 It's me you're talking to, bro.
00:01:09.740 I'm like, Wayne, it's us.
00:01:10.800 Yeah, it's us.
00:01:11.740 It's fine.
00:01:12.400 We get in.
00:01:13.260 We understand.
00:01:14.040 You just don't want to put yourself in a situation
00:01:16.220 where something could come back.
00:01:17.880 Let's say the girl lies 1.00
00:01:18.900 and you can't really defend yourself.
00:01:20.760 It's her word against yours.
00:01:22.440 I think that there should be boundaries in place.
00:01:24.280 Like, I don't think it's okay if you are,
00:01:27.360 if she's in a relationship,
00:01:28.120 it's not okay for her to be bopping up to your room to work. 1.00
00:01:31.140 Like, why?
00:01:31.780 I don't understand.
00:01:33.040 No, but you're just chilling.
00:01:34.240 You're working from home.
00:01:35.260 You usually work from home.
00:01:36.440 Did you, when she said that to you,
00:01:38.000 did you say, you know what?
00:01:38.960 I understand.
00:01:39.840 That's a really, like, that's great.
00:01:41.200 Your boyfriend had boundaries.
00:01:42.220 Or did you say, oh, that's horrible?
00:01:44.600 I said to her, but he knows I'm by, though.
00:01:47.580 That doesn't help.
00:01:48.820 Have you and her been intimate before?
00:01:52.660 Like, back in the day?
00:01:53.220 We, we, we, no, we haven't.
00:01:54.460 We got in a situation where I knew she had feelings for me.
00:01:57.700 Oh.
00:01:58.320 In the...
00:01:58.720 No, no, no.
00:01:59.920 No, no.
00:02:01.320 Two plus two is...
00:02:02.380 No.
00:02:04.020 No.
00:02:05.360 No.
00:02:06.320 I'm a nice guy.
00:02:09.040 This is how we don't trust you, bro.
00:02:10.860 This is how we don't trust you.
00:02:13.880 Come on.
00:02:14.660 Come on.
00:02:14.820 I just wanted her friendship.
00:02:16.020 That's all I wanted was her friendship.
00:02:17.400 Whatever, whatever, do his Instagram.
00:02:20.760 Yeah, let's check your Instagram.
00:02:22.900 All right.
00:02:23.620 I don't know my glasses.
00:02:24.940 Okay, I want to know if you guys, I know you're not single, but when you were single, if you
00:02:29.540 guys would respond or not, and what you would think of him.
00:02:32.760 Man's a model still.
00:02:35.620 You know, I can't really see.
00:02:36.760 Is that your car?
00:02:37.600 I feel like if I saw this Instagram, I would think prop.
00:02:40.860 That's the one that the gauge, yeah?
00:02:42.760 That's the one that the gauge respond to you on.
00:02:44.740 Yeah.
00:02:45.380 In the rain.
00:02:45.980 In the rain.
00:02:46.520 I don't think this is, I don't need this type of problems.
00:02:51.780 You've got blue ticks coming in yours as well.
00:02:53.940 Wow.
00:02:54.460 You see?
00:02:55.520 Oh, yeah, definitely.
00:02:59.940 Yeah.
00:03:00.760 Yeah.
00:03:02.380 Is that a magnum?
00:03:03.320 You're a type of uni.
00:03:07.440 Okay.
00:03:08.260 What do you guys, what do you guys think?
00:03:10.060 What would you?
00:03:10.680 Like the last picture and this picture is fine.
00:03:13.400 There was a couple pictures that I'd be like, mm.
00:03:15.960 I'm a PT, but yeah, I hear you.
00:03:18.260 Mm.
00:03:19.100 That's so good.
00:03:19.960 You need to show the merchandise, isn't it?
00:03:21.120 Yeah, fair.
00:03:22.000 Yeah, fair.
00:03:24.720 So, would you guys respond?
00:03:26.920 Yeah, probably.
00:03:28.080 Yeah.
00:03:28.420 To be fair.
00:03:29.180 Yeah.
00:03:29.460 What about you two?
00:03:30.380 Would you respond?
00:03:31.360 No.
00:03:33.060 I don't know.
00:03:34.140 I think you're a good looking guy, but I don't know, because of course you had your, you
00:03:39.620 were flexing in some of the, oh, it's him.
00:03:42.380 That's him.
00:03:43.160 That's him.
00:03:43.560 That's him.
00:03:43.780 I know you think you're a good looking guy, but I think, yeah, there was a couple of pictures
00:04:02.380 that I'm, but I can't judge you.
00:04:04.440 You don't like the whole top thing off.
00:04:06.500 It's just, yeah, there's just something I, I don't know.
00:04:09.720 But yeah, talk, it's all good.
00:04:11.480 But it's just, I mean, I think I have that view in general though, like even if a girl 0.96
00:04:15.480 is like, and I'm not going to say I haven't done this in the past, but if you're out there
00:04:19.460 like bikini, like tits, like tits in the camera, like showing off your body in a certain
00:04:23.840 type of way, you want a certain type of attention to like, I can't take you seriously.
00:04:28.500 No, I hear you.
00:04:29.280 I hear you.
00:04:29.620 I hear that.
00:04:30.360 I agree.
00:04:32.320 See, my answer is PG clean.
00:04:34.580 I was like, I just have like, I would think, cause when you see a profile like that, I
00:04:41.040 would just assume you get so much attention, which is true.
00:04:44.240 And so I'm like, I am not.
00:04:46.100 That's a headache.
00:04:46.960 I don't want to deal with that.
00:04:47.920 No, I'm too jealous.
00:04:48.880 You don't want to be competitive, man.
00:04:50.400 You've got to go 41 in this life.
00:04:52.300 You know what I mean?
00:04:53.240 You're a demon.
00:04:54.340 What is my other question?
00:04:56.800 Have you guys ever went through a girl's phone?
00:05:00.720 Yeah.
00:05:01.420 I mean, businesses do audits, right?
00:05:03.660 Damn.
00:05:06.000 What did you find?
00:05:06.960 Did you find anything?
00:05:07.920 Most of the time, you know, guys, we're a bit, we're just, we don't go for the right
00:05:11.900 things.
00:05:12.120 I think women know exactly where to look. 1.00
00:05:14.020 Guys are going to look for random shit.
00:05:16.500 You're not going to find nothing.
00:05:17.820 I've done it.
00:05:18.760 I don't.
00:05:19.240 I'll be honest though.
00:05:19.940 I think once, once you're in that place where it becomes a thing where you need to, then
00:05:27.320 and there's difference, like someone going, someone opening up your phone in your sleep
00:05:30.880 is different to like someone leaving you with their phone and then you might just, you
00:05:35.120 know, okay, that pop-up came up.
00:05:36.520 What was that?
00:05:37.040 What was that?
00:05:37.540 Yeah.
00:05:38.200 Like it's a bit of a difference.
00:05:40.420 If you're like waking people up or like trying to do all that kind of stuff, I think there's
00:05:43.600 other problems there.
00:05:44.600 I think sometimes there's a curiosity thing where that people have where it's just open
00:05:49.600 and you just, you might just, or like, cause there's even times where I'll put it down
00:05:53.560 to someone being on their phone next to you and how many times, like let's say someone's
00:05:57.680 typing their password in front of you.
00:05:58.760 How many times do you, man don't want to be guys, so we do this.
00:06:01.960 And we, what are you doing, man?
00:06:04.460 Look at that, bro.
00:06:05.760 Like look at it, you know what I mean?
00:06:07.020 But we do that because your women will look at it easy, but you know, guys, you want to
00:06:10.300 feel secure, so you're just like, no, I'm not even going to look because you don't
00:06:12.740 want problems, innit?
00:06:13.560 But sometimes you, you just look and see, cool, what's going on?
00:06:16.240 Everything cool?
00:06:16.840 All right, cool.
00:06:17.700 You know what I mean?
00:06:18.020 Yeah, I don't, I haven't checked in the same way of like being that one, like person who's
00:06:23.420 very worried and had to check through the phone.
00:06:25.360 The check-in, check-in quote unquote, is one of those ones, like you said, you're on her
00:06:29.160 phone, you're playing fucking Fruit Ninja or whatever, and like a text comes up and you're 0.88
00:06:33.080 like, oh.
00:06:34.080 I'm like, I don't, I don't go through anyone's phone.
00:06:36.280 I don't go through it.
00:06:36.960 That's your private thing.
00:06:37.800 That's your private space.
00:06:38.940 But you see the name and you see what the message is and you're like, okay, you just keep
00:06:42.500 a mental note of like, all right.
00:06:43.620 I think, yeah, if you don't trust your partner, then I think that that is, it's already, life
00:06:47.960 is, life is too short for me to go through your phone.
00:06:50.940 It's like, why am I even with you?
00:06:52.400 I think for me, there's a question from the chat.
00:06:55.340 They want to know from the girls, if, is cheating, what, which would you prefer?
00:07:01.280 Um, you go through his phone and you find him, he has naked pictures from another girl
00:07:06.300 or he was buying her things, but there was, but there is nothing physical.
00:07:13.860 It's both cheating.
00:07:15.260 Why is he buying?
00:07:15.760 No, you gotta, you gotta, that's not the question.
00:07:17.860 You gotta pick one.
00:07:19.220 You have to pick one.
00:07:21.120 Um.
00:07:22.500 Oh, that's difficult.
00:07:23.280 I think, I think, I think naked pictures is definitely worse.
00:07:30.240 Okay.
00:07:30.900 I think, yeah.
00:07:31.840 So if he bought her a bunch of clothes or something, that wouldn't be as bad as naked pictures.
00:07:37.520 Yeah, yeah.
00:07:38.640 I'm the same, to be fair.
00:07:39.660 Naked pictures worse.
00:07:40.500 No, I have to disagree because, like, let's be real.
00:07:46.520 Some of the stuff that girls post on Instagram, does it really make a difference if you're 0.99
00:07:50.660 sending nudes privately on Snapchat or if you're just posting that on Instagram?
00:07:54.360 Like, you're gonna have people doing what they do.
00:07:59.060 Mm-hmm.
00:07:59.580 Either way.
00:07:59.860 I agree with you.
00:08:01.040 I'm like, if I found out.
00:08:01.300 I think it's more personal if it's.
00:08:02.720 If I found out a dude was buying some random Instagram girl, a bunch of shit.
00:08:06.460 I'd be like.
00:08:08.420 What?
00:08:08.820 Like, that's a whole mind fuck.
00:08:11.920 Like, the nudes, it's like, okay, a man's a man, a man has a penis, like, he's gonna do 0.96
00:08:14.740 what he's gonna do.
00:08:15.260 But it's like, the buying things, it's like, that's the effort.
00:08:19.160 And is it, is it different than, like, corn?
00:08:22.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:08:22.520 Like, if a guy gets a picture from a girl.
00:08:24.600 Yeah.
00:08:24.900 Versus looks up corn online, is it that big of a.
00:08:27.620 How much difference?
00:08:28.280 Yeah.
00:08:28.700 Yeah, exactly.
00:08:29.380 Because it's all just, like, I mean, it's just flesh.
00:08:32.800 But, like, the act of buying someone a gift takes thought and effort.
00:08:39.800 Like, a guy getting nudes, he's getting that for one thing.
00:08:43.060 Yeah, but it's also about the intentions.
00:08:45.460 The intentions of why he's buying her something as well.
00:08:48.340 Like, he's probably buying her something so that he can sleep with her eventually.
00:08:52.440 That's why we said it was worse.
00:08:53.000 Yeah, that's why it's worse.
00:08:54.120 I know, but.
00:08:55.020 That's why it's worse.
00:08:55.700 You know the detectives in the movie, they say, yeah.
00:08:57.700 They say, follow the money.
00:08:59.460 Yeah, he's emotionally invested.
00:09:01.300 Would you guys break up if zero contact happened?
00:09:07.320 Yeah.
00:09:07.960 Yeah.
00:09:10.800 Because, you know what's funny when you ask that first question?
00:09:13.300 We gave each other a look.
00:09:14.680 We gave each other a look.
00:09:16.100 Because we both know if he's buying someone else a gift, that is worse.
00:09:20.880 That's the thing he's trying to cheat.
00:09:22.180 He's trying to leave.
00:09:22.740 That means he's really having a conversation with this girl.
00:09:25.120 He's finding someone else.
00:09:26.420 He's looking to have a conversation with this girl.
00:09:28.300 And he's talking to her enough that he knows her well enough to think that he can buy her things and know what she likes.
00:09:35.620 That means he's been talking to her for a while.
00:09:37.080 Which means he's down to book a ticket if she drops to the address.
00:09:40.860 No, that's the difference between a fling and a fair.
00:09:45.000 Yeah.
00:09:45.540 A fair is, you know, you follow the money, you'll find the affair.
00:09:47.920 Fling is any news you're going to find or whatever.
00:09:50.080 The news is whatever.
00:09:50.940 Because you can, if he's a cheater, he can be getting news from 11 people whenever.
00:09:55.360 If he's like a serial cheater, then he's getting news from everyone.
00:09:57.740 But if he's sending, if he's got to a point of messaging this person to a point where he's sending a gift on a somewhat regular basis.
00:10:04.140 Even if you know, I was just banned on TikTok.
00:10:07.760 And we are demonetized on a daily basis on this platform.
00:10:12.180 If you want to help, please consider sending a super thanks below.
00:10:16.440 Every donation helps and it helps make what we do possible.