Trans Woman REGRETS His Transitioning
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
173.99234
Summary
In this episode, we discuss the dangers of transphobia in the trans community and how to deal with it. We also talk about the transphobic culture in the UK and how it affects trans people in general.
Transcript
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and um now all of a sudden I've had zero self-esteem it's been crushed for years
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by myself by I was like completely like shut in never went outside and then they're telling
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everything I need to hear and then you compare that with how you used to be and you're thinking
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well why would or why would I want to go back this is such a great thing you know what I mean
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so it's like you're already confused you're mentally ill and a lot of these people that
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are coming in are autistic or have some sort of diagnosed mental disorder yeah and come in and
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they say and I'd imagine I'm not like an expert on autism so don't don't quote me on this but I'd
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imagine like people that are autistic the ones I've met are very like logical and so if you give them
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an instruction manual manual on how to be happy then yeah and especially if they're vulnerable
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maybe don't have like family around them yeah and there's there is a danger group which is the group
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that I'm most worried about which is when the kind of fall out of that safeguard sort of age category
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um and it's kind of like that 18 or 29 year old phase they're the ones who are always getting
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unrobed into sex with much older trans sexual men or agps whatever you want to call them um we've all
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had instances we've all had experiences of because they feel like because you're trans and they're trans
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they feel like they have like some sort of entitlement to you as well not just offline but online as well and
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it's uh yeah sorry no you're okay um that just lost me train of thought so the older trans um people
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will then try to have sex with the younger trans people too and not every single personal experience
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but they are very very it's like a common trend yeah yeah absolutely 100 they're always trying it on
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so you go to the trans or um the nhs and you tell them and is is this free in the uk
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yeah so let me tell you what happened what the timeline was i again they told us what to do so
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self-referred to me doctor in about september october 23rd enish right and they uh me doctor took the
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referral took all the notes and to be fair she captured everything that i said and she i think what
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she thought would happen is the gender clinic would be like oh this person obviously has xyz going on
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we should filter their mouth that's what probably should have happened at that stage but what happened
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was is they looked at it and they're like oh that's an ideal candidate of course come in however there
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was a 15 month wait so at this time i'm also under the impression that testosterone is continuing
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a poison in my body it's like an infection and somebody with ocd contamination and all that sort
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of thing is i wasn't like an obsessive hand washer or anything but i did have like a lot of obsessive
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compulsions like um that they don't make a lot of sense to you like compulsive praying and
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you're touching the wall or the door the light switch and stuff like that just to ease anxiety
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um but sorry i'm i'm going at 100 miles an hour i'm a little bit nervous still i'm sorry
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um where was that what was it so i wanted to figure out what happened when you went to the nhs
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right sorry yeah so meeting with them well yeah i think i really need to put this context in
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so i had this 15 month wait and i get told that um and i believed it that my body was being poisoned by
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testosterone and there was like this loophole where if you had testosterone's poisoning you
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yeah that's what i felt like i felt like my body was being poisoned by testosterone
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it's just like the feminists i'll tell you they would say that okay go ahead
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um so it's like yeah you say all the time there's memes like i survived testosterone poisoning
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and stuff like that yeah and there's t-shirts i've never seen those memes but i'll take your word
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yeah you can well anyway um i'll take your word so i got told jokes are like common is what you're
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saying yeah yeah absolutely it's like they're in jokes the egg irl jokes where people go to have
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their egg cracked which is another conversation but back to the timeline very quickly um i got told
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there was this 15 month wait and it was going to be over a year to look at these blockers so i learned
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that if you had two private psychiatric assessments with clinicians who worked for the nhs as well so
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they did this on the side then because they were approved like gender doctors in the uk or whatever
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like they were on like some list and i got told you get your private assessment with them
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then the nhs can prescribe you the bloggers before you even enter the clinic
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now i did that but i was earning like near minimum wage so i had to get it what's called a payday loan
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which is like you get you get the money and the idea is you pay back in two or three days but it's got
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three four thousand apr with percent abr so it's like if you don't pay it back 50 pound for instance
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can turn into a thousand pound very quickly um and i took 500 out and i couldn't really pay it back
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so i fell into mega debt with this stupid payday loan because i was so desperate for it and uh after
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some two in and fro the gender clinic who hadn't seen us yet agreed with the approved gender therapist
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person who appeared privately to for them to prescribe me the bloggers but they wouldn't give us
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the estrogen until i saw them in 2015 so my actual first session with them was in like with the
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psychiatrist was in january 2015 and that's when i when i went in the first question they said was
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do you want surgery and i was like shit i don't think so i want some therapy first um and then i got
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signed up for a gender therapist in the march 2015 and then i had me follow-up because i get follow-ups
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gender therapists they're just like feminists that hate men so they're like change change i don't i
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don't know if they've like got hatred in their hearts these people i think they believe in what
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they're doing but i also think a lot of people are tired because what you have to understand in the nhs
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anyway when you work in the gender clinic you kind of get shunned by a lot of and like other people in
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the nhs because the a lot of people don't know i didn't know this until like i spoke to a lot of
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nurses and people on the side where they were saying the whole the whole nhs really looks down
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on the gender clinics because they think it's savage they think it's immoral but they're not allowed to
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speak about it like so many people share that view yeah so but basically it's these are people with
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an ideology that are taught yes absolutely yeah they're not saying are you sure they're not saying
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they're they're pushing you to get the surgery and that is the answer no anytime i've expressed doubt
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about anything i had talks about um internalized transphobia and i got explained at me how we live
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in a cis sexist society um and how i was struggling to navigate with that and yeah see they do hate men
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you see it's like they don't care they hate men and women uh they hate everyone i suppose but i mean
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in the underlying premise when you boil it down like that but again those individuals i don't think
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they've ever sat back and looked at it through that lens they just see it as altruistic yeah it's like
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propaganda i mean they've been propagated for like 10 years like yeah and when you see study after
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study that venerates what you're saying and you see patient after patient that venerates what you're
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saying it's very hard and you've milled your livelihood on it yeah who are you to step back
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so i've got a lot of respect for the whistleblowers at tavistock especially because that there was like
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30 odd of them you know it wasn't just two or three yeah that was for the children's clinic
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yeah well it's um even the studies they're funded by a lot of these like ideologues
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you might have gone down that rabbit hole too yeah i have i'll tell you so yeah um michael biggs
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has done some brilliant research on this so if you look at the 2006 dutch protocol study the famous
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one that set the president for puberty blockers and stuff like that that was mainly um funded by
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i think they were called ferrying pharmaceuticals they funded that study and guess guess take a guess
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who has the market monopoly on the gnrh anti-antagonists they do