Why Men Will ALWAYS LOSE In Marriages
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
192.17474
Summary
In this episode, I talk about why there is no good option for men in 2023, and why there will never be a good option in the future for a good wife for a man in the modern era.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
What up guys? Welcome to the Just Hurley Things YouTube channel and welcome to my whiteboard
00:00:05.380
videos. Before I start, don't forget to subscribe to the channel and bring that notification bell
00:00:10.140
that we are going to be notified of my daily videos, like the video on your way in. Let's
00:00:14.580
get started. So today I want to talk about how there is no good option for men in 2023. Now,
00:00:21.240
before you get triggered, okay, hear me out, all right? This is why I say there's no such thing as
00:00:26.660
a good woman. Because if you say that, oh, just find a good woman, it's a fundamental
00:00:31.040
misunderstanding of female nature. Now, I don't say this in a happy way. However, I observe trends
00:00:36.980
and I come to conclusions. So let's talk about the average woman. Now, we have before gone through
00:00:45.040
the stats on this show. You know, the average woman is obsessed with Instagram. So there's her Instagram,
00:00:51.200
there's her thought bubble. She's thinking about Instagram, right? The average woman has been with
00:00:56.140
multiple men. Let's just see all these guys here. The average woman, a third has had an abortion,
00:01:03.500
a third has had an STD. So like this is, this is Sally right here. Okay. Now, are there exceptions?
00:01:09.620
Yes. Okay. I'm not saying there's not exceptions, but we're talking about the average. So let's say
00:01:14.520
a guy wants to be, this is what the man wants. He wants a family and a bunch of kids. So he wants
00:01:24.180
boom, boom, boom. So there's the kids, there's the family. This is what the guy wants. Okay. Now,
00:01:30.700
the question is, how does Bob get to this and not get screwed over by this? So I got to give you guys
00:01:36.940
a little bit of context here. So right now there's a roughly 50% divorce rate now. Okay. 50% divorce
00:01:45.320
rate. Let's ask ourselves, what is the reputation of marriage right now? We have phrases like it's
00:01:50.760
cheaper to keep her happy wife, happy life. What does this indicate? This indicates that the reputation
00:01:55.700
of marriage isn't good. And I can tell you from anecdotal experience, I meet person after person
00:02:01.220
after person that's afraid of marriage because of what they saw from their parents. So let's take
00:02:06.040
the remaining 50% of people married today. Out of this 50%, let's assume 25% suck. Because if over
00:02:16.840
half of marriages were good, then marriage wouldn't have the reputation it has today. And the stats
00:02:22.360
will back this up a bit. If you look at marital satisfaction, if you look at sexlessness in
00:02:27.740
marriage, we'd all agree that a dead bedroom marriage is a bad marriage, right? Now, when we take
00:02:33.880
that into account, we have a 75% failure rate. Now, mind you, this is with the people that have
00:02:42.220
already been married, not the people that are going to get married in the future. So knowing there's a
00:02:47.200
70, let's just, let's for shits and giggles, right? Say that 25% are good. Woohoo, right? Okay. And this is,
00:02:55.760
let's be honest, guys. This is a bit, I think I'm being generous saying half of marriages are good.
00:03:01.140
But let's go with that. You know, let's sell this trope. So this is something with a 75% failure
00:03:06.040
rate, okay? Meaning it is more likely to fail than to succeed. Now, so let's keep this in mind. So
00:03:13.480
marriage, 75% failure rate. Let's, let's go to the next trope. Oh, and mind you, these are the people
00:03:20.460
that are already married. I'm 26, right? Are the women of my generation and younger, do they have
00:03:26.060
the reputation of being better than the women of before? Oh no. So can't we assume that the quality
00:03:33.260
of wives today is worse than the last quality of wives that have a 75% failure rate? So wouldn't
00:03:41.280
that indicate that actually the failure rate might go even higher in this next generation? I don't see
00:03:47.420
any indication that women are getting better and I don't see any indication that we're more loyal.
00:03:52.640
Let's go and look at the root of this problem. Most women have never even heard what their role
00:03:58.580
as a wife is. I'll say this from anecdotal experience and from interviewing hundreds and hundreds of
00:04:04.080
women. The role of a wife, right, is supposed to be, right, here's the man, here's the woman, okay?
00:04:10.440
You're supposed to be his helpmate. You're supposed to submit to his authority, right? But most women
00:04:15.760
want to be equal. Actually, most women want to be above the man. And that's why we see in media,
00:04:21.340
all of these celebrities of the men worshiping the woman. If you go up to a typical couple, right,
00:04:27.480
and you ask them a question, the woman will talk first. You know, it's like if you ask,
00:04:31.300
you go into a company, you go and ask a bunch of people in the room a question. It's usually
00:04:35.220
the people with the most authority speak. So there's little ways you could sort of pick out
00:04:39.360
who wears the pants in the relationship. Another thing you can kind of pick out is my wife let me.
00:04:44.560
If you have the authority in the relationship, why is your wife letting you? Why do you have to ask your
00:04:49.300
wife? It's very interesting. And then you'll see this too, because these women will get like enraged
00:04:53.900
when you imply this. So we can assume that maybe the 75% failure, let's just say another 5% fail.
00:05:00.760
Let's just say this is an 80% failure rate. Okay. Now let's just say you're a young guy and you still,
00:05:07.820
you still want the marriage and the family, but you're going into the world. And do you know what
00:05:12.920
you've seen? You've seen your uncle and your dad and maybe your brother get screwed over by marriage.
00:05:20.200
So you look at, you're like all happy. And you say, I want a family, maybe some curly hair. Um,
00:05:26.660
yeah, there we go. This is Bob. All right. And he says, I want a family, but he's going to look at
00:05:31.560
the risks and he's going to look at the rewards. And remember 80% failure rate. So one of the risks
00:05:38.980
risks is losing half your assets. So we have an entire system that is trying to take your shit,
00:05:45.960
you know, where the women are actually paid to take your ship. Now we're going to talk about ways
00:05:50.640
to mitigate the risk later, but let's just, let's just look at what could, what is the worst thing
00:05:55.480
that could happen to you? Another risk is your kids hate you. Now I've talked to women and men
00:06:01.280
that hated their fathers for years based off of information that their mother told them talking
00:06:06.780
shit about their dad. And a lot of these kids that hate their parents were actually from two
00:06:11.780
parent home. Imagine with a divorce, which is half of them, right? So that's a risk that even if you
00:06:17.740
have a legacy, it's really like the kid could hate you. You get divorced, she has custody, you know,
00:06:23.140
another risk. She wants to leave and step daddy season, right? We heard that in the media,
00:06:29.120
step daddy. So now you have no control over who's influencing your daughter or your son. So not only
00:06:36.000
could this person influence your kid negatively, they also could abuse your kid. And they're the,
00:06:41.120
one of the most likely people to abuse your child is the stepfather that comes into the life or the
00:06:47.000
birth mom. But that's, that's a conversation we don't want to have. Okay. So another risk,
00:06:51.700
your reputation. A lot of women won't go down without a fight. So they want everybody in the
00:06:57.880
neighborhood to know what a terrible abuser you are. So not only will they take your shit,
00:07:02.760
make your kids hate you and bring in an irresponsible stepdad, they'll also tell your
00:07:07.240
entire community that you're an abuser. And the problem is in family court, you actually have no
00:07:12.740
way to fight this because it's not based on evidence. So your reputation. So then on top of
00:07:18.560
that, your job, some men go through all of this, their reputation is destroyed. Sometimes even their
00:07:24.400
family hates them. Yes, that is how manipulative women can be. Kids hate them. Assets are gone,
00:07:30.500
their reputation. And they either get so stressed out, they lose their job or they're known as
00:07:35.560
abusers. So they get fired. Now this is a lot of risk. This is a lot of risk. And the reward nowadays
00:07:41.920
is 1.5 kids. I mean, food, maybe cleaning, maybe, but probably not. So, you know, you get 1.5 kids,
00:07:52.280
you get some meals cooked, maybe she might clean. I mean, do women really clean and cook? I mean,
00:07:58.060
all right, this is the reward. They'll say you might get a 2 kids out of the deal, some food,
00:08:03.800
some cleaning. You're not going to get a virgin bride that's pretty much gone. Can you think of
00:08:08.820
any other reward? Is there anything I'm missing? Nothing? I mean, oh yeah, I forgot about that. Oh,
00:08:16.840
yeah. Sex, maybe, but a lot of women, it's like they get the ring. Maybe a hottie, maybe. Oh,
00:08:24.800
oh yeah, I forgot. So then on top of the risks is a sexless marriage. So they're afraid, oh no,
00:08:32.440
what if I marry her and she stops sleeping with me? Another risk is, I think this is the ultimate
00:08:37.200
crime for men. I think there's nothing worse for a man. I mean, these are pretty bad guys.
00:08:44.540
a fat wife. A fat wife. Like, I mean, this is just embarrassing for a guy. Or another risk is,
00:08:55.520
you know, as we're seeing with the Logan Paul thing, wifing an ex-ho and getting laughed at. The
00:09:00.640
men don't want that either. So guys, these risks. And so the reward is, okay, you might get two kids,
00:09:06.580
you might get some food, you might get some sex, but even these are kind of iffy. There's no guarantee
00:09:12.000
there. Now the reward used to be, okay, but at least I get to keep the kids and she won't leave.
00:09:18.680
But no, no fault divorce came in and said, sis, leave for whatever reason you want. Sis,
00:09:24.820
you don't need to give him kids or any of this stuff. Sis. So now, you know, Bob says, okay,
00:09:30.020
I want this, right? This is the, he wants this, but there's a lot of risk. And now a lot of times
00:09:37.140
what I hear trad cons say is, well, the men that walk away from marriage, aren't the men you want
00:09:42.660
anyway. And from my experience, this is not true. Now, you know, a lot of times it's the men that
00:09:47.440
the women actually did want and they got this, but they didn't know about all of this. They go in
00:09:51.860
very naive. So it's a bit disingenuous to say, oh, the solution is get married and have a family.
00:09:58.100
When, what is the reward that they get? Now as a chick, yeah, guys, I, I love marriage. I think
00:10:03.740
marriage is great. But the way we do marriage today is actually pretty bad. And I understand why
00:10:09.980
the men are walking away. Okay. So let's go to the next step, which is solutions. What,
00:10:15.740
what is a guy to do? So again, he wants this, he wants this. He knows they're an 80% failure rate
00:10:22.240
of this. So how does he get there? Okay. You know, men are funny. Men are funny. It's like,
00:10:27.500
if you make a game, the men will just figure out a way to play it. They'll come up with so many
00:10:33.480
solutions. It's so funny. Okay. Number one. Now I want, I want to give you guys some context. So
00:10:38.420
women, men don't reach their peak to like 35. Okay. And I've always heard from the guys,
00:10:43.860
the dating kind of changes for the men in their late twenties, early thirties. That's when the
00:10:48.340
women are like, Hey, I want you. Now the young women, obviously, you know, as we talked about
00:10:53.060
25 year old women are hotter than 35 year old women. The hottest chicks are between the ages of 18 to
00:10:59.300
let's say 25. Maybe we'll up it to 28, but like, let's just say that's the most desirable. Now,
00:11:05.140
not to say that there aren't hotties over that age, but we're talking in general. Okay. Please
00:11:09.860
don't freak out all the wives out there. So the man knows I can get the youngest, hottest chick
00:11:15.800
when I'm 35, let's say roughly 30 to 40. The men can get the best chick because now the 20 year olds
00:11:22.320
are dating the older guys. So when they're young, the women don't want them. So they think, huh?
00:11:26.640
All right. 35 years old. And they think, how can I mitigate the risk? How can I make it? I still want
00:11:33.400
this, but I need to make the risk lower. So they think, okay, maybe I'll date a woman for three
00:11:39.080
years, which is the average time people now date before getting married. So they say, huh? Maybe if
00:11:44.180
I date her for three years, it's less risky and maybe we could do that. So two, a prenup. Okay. So
00:11:50.960
what they'll do is they'll say, Hey, we're going to get a prenup before we get married. Now,
00:11:55.580
if you're going to date for three years, obviously in 2023, they're not really going to wait till
00:12:01.340
marriage for three years. All right. Let's just guys, you know, we're going to have an adult
00:12:05.180
conversation here. If you want to date a girl for three years, you know, you got to figure out what
00:12:09.860
birth control option, because with all that risk we listed earlier, we know that you don't really
00:12:15.440
want to take any chances. So what you could do is trust. She's on birth control. Now, men,
00:12:21.600
how does that work out? Anyone, anyone, let me know in the comments. How does that,
00:12:26.040
how does the trusting her tend to work? I mean, I get some feedback, not always the best. All right.
00:12:32.400
Condoms, right. Which could break, but I mean, some guys will do that, but they don't, they, a lot of
00:12:38.500
guys don't want to wait that long. I hate to say it guys. Vasectomy, please don't freak out. Let's
00:12:45.040
just have the conversation. Abstinence now, or I guess, sorry, the, the pull out, whatever. So
00:12:51.900
these are the, these are the options for birth control. So these are, these are ways to mitigate
00:12:56.540
risk. This is date for three years, a prenup. Okay. Then go get a church woman. This is what I hear a
00:13:03.680
lot. Just go to the church guys. Just go, go to church and find a church woman. However, then the men
00:13:09.100
go to church and they, they find worse women than in the general public. Now don't shoot the messenger.
00:13:14.720
Okay. Um, so they go to church and find a bunch of single mothers and ex-ho. And then they're like,
00:13:19.840
oh shit, I thought I was in church. Now this isn't all churches. This isn't every church woman. Um,
00:13:24.940
but you know, the problem is there's a lot of men that come to me and say church made their wife worse
00:13:30.660
because of single women ministries that just tell them what they want to hear and pandering pastor.
00:13:35.840
Okay. But you know, I'm just going through the options. All right. So get a church woman thing.
00:13:41.820
I hear, I hear men do passport bros. They're tired of the old fat whores in America. So they say,
00:13:49.440
I am going to go to a different country. But the problem with the passport bros is a couple things.
00:13:54.320
When they bring back the women from the other countries to America, I get, I get some feedback
00:13:59.700
that the same thing happens and the woman go crazy or the UK. The other thing is that,
00:14:05.540
you know, a lot of these countries also have declining birth rate, which indicates that the
00:14:10.320
country is more modern. And what I hear from a lot of the more traditional countries is their women
00:14:15.460
are getting ruined too because of social media. Because women were such a group think we're so
00:14:20.760
hive minded. We hear whatever's on the TV and social media. We want to do what's cool. And right
00:14:26.360
now it's really cool to be a fat whore. I mean, body positivity, sexual liberation, all that's like
00:14:32.660
trendy and cool. And women just, I don't know what's, I don't know what it is about us. Okay.
00:14:37.320
Now the passport bros. Okay. Bye. Some guys, you know, now I know this, I got in a lot of trouble
00:14:43.580
for this one. Some guys choose to get a vasectomy until they're 35 and they can date a girl for a
00:14:50.160
couple years and pick one. And they think, huh, a vasectomy is actually less risky than marriage.
00:14:56.940
Yes, guys, let's have that conversation. Most vasectomies are reversible. I'm not saying to
00:15:02.180
do it. I'm not saying it's the best option. But when marriage has an 80% failure rate,
00:15:07.860
I mean, is this more risky or less? So some guys go that route. Okay. Some guys put all their assets
00:15:14.620
in their parents' name as we see, as we saw that famous divorce where that woman tried to get all
00:15:19.820
his assets and found out he had none. Some guys do a non-government marriage, but this still does not
00:15:25.360
mitigate the risks that come with kids. Some guys, this is rare, but some guys hire a surrogate.
00:15:32.060
Some guys literally pay a woman to carry their child so they know that that is their child.
00:15:37.340
Some guys will never get married and just have a girlfriend forever. That's it. And then pray to
00:15:42.320
God that she doesn't ruin them. You know, I've even heard examples of guys somehow wiggling around
00:15:48.280
the laws and making their girlfriend pay all of the rent so she has no right to their stuff.
00:15:53.560
Okay. Now, mind you, I've heard a lot of a lot of pushback. Well, a family is totally worth the
00:15:59.560
risk. It's totally worth all of your shit. That's just stuff. You can make it back. Well, guys,
00:16:04.740
well, I hate to break it to you. I'm just going to be honest. Pearl's just an honest person. When
00:16:09.020
your kids hate you, is it worth it to a guy? Because men really care about legacy. And a lot of guys just,
00:16:15.420
they want this, but they don't want to go through all of this to get this. It's just not like they just,
00:16:21.100
they look at the pros, they look at the cons, and they say, this is a lot of work just to maybe get
00:16:26.280
a kid and a half. So now this leads some men to MGTOW. Now, what is MGTOW? These are the men that
00:16:33.280
look at this and they say, oh no, as much as I want this, I'm not doing all of this to get this.
00:16:40.940
An 80% failure rate. Now guys, let's go into their point of view. Would you ever sign a contract
00:16:47.300
with an 80% failure rate ever? If I said, hey, you take this pill, 20% chance you'll live forever.
00:16:54.400
80% chance you will die. Or 80% chance you will lose everything that you care about. Would you
00:17:00.900
take that pill? Yeah, it's so weird. We shame men for going the MGTOW route. So a lot of people say,
00:17:07.280
I'm a doomer. I'm not a doomer. I just say, enjoy the decline. You know what I mean? So,
00:17:12.200
okay. All right. So now what is MGTOW? MGTOW is all the men that say, okay, they're all fat
00:17:18.200
whores anyway. I'm tired of it. Now there is no way for a man to interact with a woman and not have
00:17:25.260
a consequence. Now, okay. All right. So these, this could be love. This could be amazing. However,
00:17:31.540
feminism has basically ruined. All right. So what if a guy looks at this and says, so he says,
00:17:38.100
you know what? I'm never getting married, but I still want to interact with women. So the first
00:17:41.980
type of MGTOW is men that go their own way, but just from marriage. So they'll still have a nice
00:17:46.840
girlfriend here, but they're, they're not going to ever legally get married. Okay. But the problem
00:17:52.780
with that is this woman can still take, she could still take kids. There's some states that have
00:17:58.800
common law marriage where if you live together long enough, you're legally married. So, you know,
00:18:03.740
she could still take money, ruin reputation. So there's some guys that look at that and say,
00:18:10.120
huh, I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to back off of that one. I'm good. But do you know
00:18:14.460
what I'm going to do? I'm going to just have sex casually, but that woman could still me to him.
00:18:23.300
An example right now is Russell Brand where he had sex casually for years. He's married now,
00:18:28.260
but let's just say he never got married. Those women could still ruin career. Now there are men that
00:18:34.460
find ways about around this where they will record their entire house or make sure they get text or
00:18:40.340
video consent before everything. However, there's more and more laws prohibiting that behavior saying
00:18:46.460
that you can't record a woman without her knowing whatever. Okay. Under understandably, but it's like
00:18:52.540
damned if you do damned if you don't here. So some guys say, I'm just going to have sex casually,
00:18:57.060
no kid. Okay. Marriage, sex casually. And some guys just say, they say, fuck it. And they say,
00:19:04.860
fuck it. I'm going to go get an AI girlfriend, watch porn forever, or just never deal with any
00:19:11.140
of this shit because this is too much. And this is why I would implore the politicians watching this
00:19:15.620
to change some of the laws around marriage, family, and relationship. Because the way it is now,
00:19:20.960
traditional men are punished. And a lot of people give really bad advice around this. So
00:19:26.940
what I see right now is a generation of men that have been misled, especially I, I come from the
00:19:33.300
conservative background. So, you know, these guys were told, Hey, we're going to put Bob here back,
00:19:39.080
curly hair, smiley face. Just find a good woman and marry young. And these guys say, okay, let me go do
00:19:45.600
it. And they find Susie and Susie's awesome and she's great. But then what they don't know is after
00:19:52.740
marriage, Susie becomes a fat whale. Now there's Susie and they're like, Hey, Hey, I thought,
00:19:59.340
I thought, I thought we had a good thing. I thought we had a good thing going. No, now,
00:20:03.960
now she's a bitter fat whale. And then she takes the kids and ruins his life. So now he's sad because
00:20:09.820
he didn't know that when he got married, that he was signing up for a system that pays women to leave.
00:20:16.760
Okay. And the bad advice they give is just find a good woman. This is a fundamental misunderstanding
00:20:23.880
of female nature. This is absolutely a fundamental misunderstanding. People that say just find a good
00:20:29.860
woman do not understand the nature of women. Women. We just basically have this like group thing. I
00:20:34.780
don't know what it is about us. Don't know why. And I know everyone's going to come at me. Pearl,
00:20:38.920
Pearl, Pearl. Aren't you a good woman? I'm still a woman. You know what I mean? Like,
00:20:42.180
so, okay. Women, there's, there's Sally are very influenced by the media. Here's Instagram,
00:20:51.340
the culture. So other women, so women are very, we're very influenced. Like women are just for
00:20:57.200
whatever reason, we're just like very influenced being. So we're influenced by the media and the
00:21:01.880
culture. And even a good woman over the course of 50 years and the media telling her she's better
00:21:08.720
on her own. Her friends in the culture saying she's better on her own. And now there's a fat
00:21:13.840
payday for going, go leaving and ruining everything. So even a good woman on her worst day is absolutely
00:21:20.940
capable. There's no woman that is not capable of doing something like this. Every chick has it in
00:21:26.140
them. I'm not saying every woman will, but any woman can. And knowing this information, it's very
00:21:31.560
naive to just find a good woman and assume that she's going to do the right thing. Because the truth of
00:21:37.220
the matter is I've, I've, you know, I I'm doing a divorce documentary guys. And I've interviewed men
00:21:42.600
that had traditional women and they got into the wrong friend group. They started watching the wrong
00:21:47.020
content or they got into the wrong legal system or, um, or they got the wrong lawyer and they just
00:21:52.880
ruined that guy's life. Now, this is why I would argue that marrying young is equally as risky as
00:22:00.480
getting a vasectomy. Now I'm not pleased. Now I know what they're going to do. They're going to be like,
00:22:04.000
Pearl's pushing it. I'm not pushing it. What I am trying to say is pushing young men into marriage
00:22:08.980
without them knowing what they're up against is very naive and it's bad advice. And I've met so
00:22:14.620
many men on the brink of suicide that absolutely would have been better off going MGTOW. So, you
00:22:20.180
know, every guy has to decide for himself what he wants to do. Some men it's worth the risk. Some men
00:22:24.860
it's not, but every guy's got to decide for himself. So, you know, this is, this is what's going on in the
00:22:29.360
dating market today. Politicians, we need to change these laws really if we want to see the family
00:22:34.540
unit come back together. Like the video on your way out, subscribe to the channel, and I'll talk to