JustPearlyThings - Why Modern Women Can't FORGET Men's Past

00:00:00.000 so so my question is do you care about the past uh when it comes to your partner so i want the

00:00:06.720 women to also answer and the men yep um so start here and go around definitely you care yeah okay

00:00:15.040 so what what's too shady of a past for you um it depends when a man is too thirsty and like all the

00:00:23.360 women's and are on him and like he's not i like individuals i like like something that is private

00:00:29.120 that no one's like touching one you know so yeah i think that one okay go ahead i think um

00:00:39.280 the truth for me is that you know you obviously want to accept that that person has a past just

00:00:47.040 like you have a past but in my youth in my youth club in church when i was there in high school

00:00:52.960 it was every saint has a past and every son has a future so i think that you kind of have to think

00:00:58.720 of it in that way and like look at that person as yourself in a way because it's like i have a

00:01:03.360 past we all have a past i know i have a future i'm trying to live in the present with this person

00:01:09.120 so so you don't care as much it's not about caring or not because of course i care but does it phase

00:01:15.040 me that's the question it doesn't is it really gonna bother us every day not really okay we're gonna work

00:01:21.600 it out if that's the person i choose okay cool what about you um the past is definitely a concern

00:01:28.960 well it would be if there's a lot of baggage coming from that past um you know because it can get

00:01:35.600 confusing if a man has like five baby mothers good girl what about what about what about three can

00:01:41.120 you get away with three that's me and three of them and three kids like i don't know how many baby

00:01:49.120 mamas is too many like one is two and one is two but you could do two you could do one or no i might

00:01:56.400 can you could do one yeah two two yes or no um i don't know it depends it depends how close they are

00:02:04.240 what if they're ex-wives is that different well ex-wives are different in it because that's much

00:02:09.040 different i think that's much different yeah wait why is the ex-wives different to the baby moms

00:02:15.920 because okay wait they were married before they had the kid yeah so it's like yeah but are we gonna

00:02:21.760 continue or we're gonna stick on to that one well i was gonna i just was curious if it's different to

00:02:26.480 you well no um with an ex-wife it's kind of it's gone into a legal bind so if they legally

00:02:33.920 you know parted it's like okay yeah all right that's fine so two ex-wives you could two ex-wives

00:02:41.280 with kids you could deal with the two baby mamas it's enough it's drama because you know well there's

00:02:45.920 drama either way i'm just saying he might be paying child support you know alimony i would say with the

00:02:53.360 baby mom the the baby dad would go to the flat and sleep on the sofa what do you mean he's sleeping on

00:03:00.000 the sofa so wait you were dating so you were dating a guy yeah and then he said i'm gonna go sleep on

00:03:16.800 my baby mother's sofa what does that even mean you know he's homeless totally different yeah but

00:03:26.240 if what if he slept on the ex-wife's sofa i don't think the ex-wife would don't do that because i feel

00:03:32.160 like the ex-wife would kind of have somebody there because he's an ex-husband ex-wife so you you feel

00:03:38.560 like in a way you're kind of saying like the ex-wife has more value than that than the baby mama maybe

00:03:43.360 maybe maybe because there wasn't in a contract binded and if they depart from that contract you know

00:03:49.920 he's probably pissed off that he has to pay for the house so he ain't gonna go to the sofa is he what

00:03:54.720 about if if the guy so if the guy is paying um child support on his two kids yeah is that it was that

00:04:02.000 could that be a deal breaker for you no no that lets me know that he's very supportive and you know

00:04:08.240 what if it's to what if he has to live a really frugal lifestyle because of it that's what i'm

00:04:13.200 saying like like he spends more he spends more on the on the two kids i don't mind because at least

00:04:18.960 you're looking out for the own but i'm a bit i love going out i love doing stuff i love the high

00:04:23.440 life and everything so if you got two baby mothers and you got child support to pay babe where am i coming

00:04:28.080 into this how are we gonna make this happen you know what i mean and it's it's tricky like who who you know

00:04:34.480 i couldn't i don't think i could and i've i've just walked away from it so many times like okay

00:04:40.560 i can deal with the one baby mom and i can see the wait wait wait you said times

00:04:47.360 you said times how many how many how many baby fans like no no wow i'm thinking when i was a bit

00:04:55.280 younger okay when i'm dating in that time but my now time now now okay so now kids are off the table

00:05:02.480 not okay okay it depends on the man though okay okay so for the right guy how many baby moms could

00:05:11.680 he have the right guy one okay but not two not two not two but two ex-wives he could have one ex-wife

00:05:19.440 one ex okay because that lets me know how much his pocket is spending out okay you know okay uh what

00:05:25.200 about you what do you think about past be past mattering um no i don't think someone's past matters

00:05:32.000 for me i don't think a man's past matters um i think if he's bringing baggage from his past then

00:05:38.640 that's something that would have to be addressed and everything's case by case but if we're talking

00:05:42.960 about like you're not bringing no baggage you've just been a hoe and now we're doing relationship

00:05:48.400 i don't think i would judge him on his past what if what if he slept with one of your friends

00:05:52.800 but it was it was just a casual one night i think i think number one um if there if it was if it

00:05:59.440 was just like a one night stand thing all right i don't care so who who here out of the girls if

00:06:03.920 you slept with one of your friends you could you could get over it no i would you could get over it

00:06:08.080 i would say if like he couldn't have just slept with my friend last month and now he's trying to

00:06:22.880 talk to me about xyz i would have to assess how my friend feels about that there would be factors to

00:06:28.560 it but if it was there was no strings attached they both just had a fling they had a one-time thing

00:06:33.520 there was no feeling in the situation i wouldn't i wouldn't care okay so you you you're saying no

00:06:39.840 she said yes she said yes what do you say i no i think that if there's betrayal in anything then

00:06:48.000 you know things always you just left with i now have to react it wasn't a betrayal before you

00:06:55.280 for me that i knew yeah you're you're you're finding out this is you know the guy he's in your

00:07:00.640 circle whatever he's a good guy that's the thing he slept with her a year ago it just happened to

00:07:05.840 happen one night yeah i weren't even thinking about yeah yeah so you could get over it you could get

00:07:10.320 over it that's cool but you wouldn't be able to get over it i get that like men wouldn't be able to

00:07:15.600 get over us doing that today oh oh we'll find out okay what do you think could you get over it um not

00:07:22.880 really because i wouldn't even go to like my men's friend and like be with him so it's the same thing

00:07:29.120 okay it's the same thing okay uh you have stronger but go ahead go ahead go ahead strong

00:07:34.320 opinions wow right which which should i start on firstly if it was with my friend that's a negative

00:07:40.880 no no no never no because how are we should no we're not sharing the same no but you wouldn't be

00:07:47.600 you wouldn't be sharing no she went there first then i'll be going there yeah and that's my friend

00:07:52.160 and then that's all too much there's a lot of men out there yeah i'm all right i'll keep it moving

00:07:55.760 yeah and back to the back of the past for me the only thing that really would really go for me in

00:08:01.520 a part of a man's past is if there's a history because you see the you see when geezers are like

00:08:07.280 oh yeah my ex is crazy but my other ex is crazy but my other ex is crazy and my other ex is crazy

00:08:13.440 that's when it's like yeah that's when i care about your past because i'm like how

00:08:16.880 either you just meet all crazy women or you're turning them all crazy has that happened to you before

00:08:21.600 yes yes oh yes how what happened yeah everyone was crazy apparently

00:08:32.800 did you find out what he did or like or what what happened he just he was one of them he just told a

00:08:38.000 lot of lies you know when you just tell a lot of eyes and make it and this is when and he went for

00:08:43.360 younger girls as well so they're a bit more naive and it was like he told them lies and tell more lies

00:08:48.880 and then the lies caught up with him and then he then it was he'd keep it moving and be like yeah

00:08:52.640 she's crazy she's crazy and i'm like yeah no you've met the real crazy now so oh so you were the real

00:08:58.400 crazy yeah i'm the real crazy so then what did you do what did you do i said bye oh that's it yeah i said

00:09:03.600 bye that doesn't sound crazy no of course not but apparently i've heard i've heard i am crazy oh so now

00:09:09.440 he's saying you're crazy so it's like it's like one of them it's a little pattern that that's what i

00:09:14.240 mean but if he slept around or anything that you don't care like if he slept he was he had a

00:09:19.440 whole phase for like i think all men have had a whole phase i don't know about that one of three men

00:09:24.880 are under 30 or either virgins or haven't had sex in the past year what yeah one out of every three

00:09:30.720 yeah i need to talk to my friends because they have a whole bag of um yeah no but um i mean do you

00:09:40.560 think the guy at tesco is really getting laid yeah listen i used to work at tesco's i was getting

00:09:46.160 laid they're the freaky ones in tesco come on come on that's my last job before i've done what i was

00:09:52.640 doing now i'm not even cutting you yeah no no it's fine it's fine there's nothing wrong with

00:09:57.120 tesco's there's nothing wrong with tusco man though yeah yeah but then there's certain oh no let me

00:10:03.120 not go through go through no because i was going to say you think you're saying that that the certain

00:10:07.760 man at tesco you think there's not certain girls who would do anything to just to get that bit of

00:10:12.800 attention i think if the guys are good looking maybe yeah but i don't think like women women find 80

00:10:18.880 of men is unattractive so not not okay not average looking like ugly wow think about it think about it

00:10:24.400 that is a good point because yeah like what i mean who out of the women actually i have a question

00:10:32.640 i have a question i have a question out of the women out of the women who here would describe

00:10:35.840 themselves as picky picky picky you're not picky that far oh i'm not picky i like what i like yeah

00:10:43.680 that's what i was gonna say are you okay are you particular no no no no no no no no no no i like

00:10:49.680 certain things but i wouldn't say like i have a very strict type on paper that if you don't meet

00:10:54.080 this requirement i won't look at you yeah i don't i don't i don't i don't i don't i don't really know

00:10:59.760 what to what to really say on that because well what what do you what do you look for in a guy like

00:11:04.000 what are your what are your requirements pretty eyes no no honestly it's i don't how can i say it's got

00:11:13.360 to be kind of like quite an alpha-y kind of male it's more it's not so much just the looks obviously

00:11:17.840 look you can't be ugly because that's that's just that's just never going to work really silly

00:11:22.080 i've got to be attracted to you but you've got to be kind of an alpha really because i'm quite

00:11:25.600 i'm quite an alpha female you're an alpha female yeah why because that's what i don't know that's

00:11:31.760 what i've been told what do you believe what other people say about you then oh no but i'm just i'm

00:11:39.040 just saying i'm just saying things that i've been told do you think do you think alpha men like

00:11:43.040 want alpha females don't alpha men like want submissive females but then alpha females can

00:11:48.640 be submissive to the right alpha male or to the right man yeah yeah yeah but you don't think

00:11:53.680 there's a line of men waiting to date or women waiting to date alpha men like why would they deal

00:11:57.680 with an alpha female like men don't want to men don't want to date themselves actually but no but then

00:12:03.200 that's the difference between a male and a female because maybe then she'll submit because

00:12:06.720 she's got she'll give him the same run for his money and keep his mind going instead of being

00:12:13.040 yes but why would a guy go through that when he could just go to a girl that doesn't

00:12:17.680 exactly why don't they cheat what just someone like that and so yeah some men like to be taken

00:12:24.720 care of as well yeah yeah i mean we could talk about exceptions it's not the rule no no but that's

00:12:29.040 what i'm saying because an alpha female would still she could she could still provide it she could

00:12:32.480 still she can still she can still hold it down so maybe she can hold it down for him instead of him

00:12:37.520 always having yeah guys don't care about your money not in general i didn't say money i didn't say money

00:12:42.880 holding it down emotionally for a man because it's a lot for a man to especially an alpha man to

00:12:47.600 offload his emotions onto somebody to show his vulnerability yeah i don't and i do believe that

00:12:53.520 with an alpha female he will do that because he knows she can hold it down and she could take it on

00:12:57.440 board and not use it against him that's what i just said that's why i believe i think i know what she

00:13:01.840 means as well okay explain i feel like what in terms of alpha female tell me from wrong go on

00:13:08.240 i feel like when you say alpha female you know there's someone out there they like a girl that

00:13:13.120 i'll give them a bit how old are the guys you're talking about i'm i'll be honest with you i can only

00:13:24.480 speak for the guys that are around me yeah 25 to like 40 yeah in that age gap so in between the age

00:13:32.560 25 to 40 most men yeah i like that i'm not saying they want that but there's a there's a percentage

00:13:39.520 of them men that like the alpha female yeah they like a bit of fight back do you think it's the

00:13:43.360 majority no it's not it's a minority it's a minority but that minority i've just found like

00:13:48.960 men that's yeah but i found that's like more like men that are like more feminine like i find

00:13:55.200 it like i don't know i don't know maybe i feel like no i i disagree i think i've i haven't traveled to

00:14:10.240 many places but what i can say is being in south africa being in florida and being here in the uk

00:14:16.240 there will always be that kind of man that wants that kind of woman and yes they want the

00:14:24.160 submissive woman but it's like why do you have to be submissive in public when you are who you are

00:14:29.920 you are who you are i am who i am what do you mean why do you have to be submissive in public can you

00:14:34.160 explain that more it's like some guys are happier when their woman's just sitting next to them and just

00:14:39.760 smiling and not talking to any men and not looking at any men's direction

00:14:43.760 like not talking to females not talking because you're draw out you're gonna you know like so

00:14:50.240 and do you think that's a problem i think when a when a high value man brings along a goal in public

00:14:56.560 i think that this a particular woman that he brings with has to be quite reserved sorry can i just say

00:15:02.960 something in in terms of the minority so that's that's like your does is that does your definition of

00:15:09.040 submissive just sitting there quietly and not saying a word well no what i'm saying is i didn't

00:15:14.720 mean like sitting quietly and not saying a word i just said reserved but being seen and not heard yeah

00:15:19.760 but in a way where i don't have to talk because my man's doing all the talking but the problem is when

00:15:25.120 you meet the phony ones who do too much talking and then you're just sitting there like i i think of

00:15:30.800 submitting i think of submitting to authority like so so when you have a job so when you have a job right

00:15:36.880 you don't if you're if your boss says do this yeah they don't you don't spend an hour arguing well

00:15:40.800 why are we doing this like why do i do this like no you just say okay and you do it yeah

00:15:46.400 so that's what i think of when i think of submissive that's what that's what i think that's what i think

00:15:49.440 that's what i think for sure but then it can be also like the way they say you can say it

00:15:55.280 do that so so when i think what i'm saying is i don't think sorry i don't think that those men are

00:16:00.320 like feminine they're not feminine you know what i mean which ones the ones who choose the alpha

00:16:07.760 women yeah able to hold conversations when they're not around babe i'm going to the toilet cool

00:16:14.240 i'm gonna have conversations while you go to the right but it's not about converse it's not about

00:16:18.880 conversations it's about listening so i just think those men they usually have hard jobs they work a

00:16:24.080 they work long hours and they don't typically want a woman that's not going to listen and alpha i've just

00:16:28.240 found that alpha women don't tend to listen like it's my way or the highway i'm the alpha i'm the

00:16:32.880 leader because what's an alpha that's a leader a leader you can't have two leaders in a relationship

00:16:36.560 why would a guy that's a leader want another leader yeah you can do because but they're alpha

00:16:41.120 women because at the end of the day like someone has to make a decision i don't think there's one

00:16:45.120 destination though i think there's if you're talking about being in a relationship and having family

00:16:50.640 there's two destin there's a few destinations that come together what what are the what when you say

00:16:55.680 destinations what do you like as the woman in the family like the mother she needs to take care of

00:17:01.280 the children take care of the house take care of the man and lead them and lead when he's not around

00:17:06.400 but when he's around there's that sense of okay i can chill for a second yeah but not a lot of men can

00:17:13.280 back that up i feel like i feel like there might be some sort of like miss confusion everyone's missing

00:17:20.880 each other's yeah am i wrong am i right i'm right i'm wrong this is what i think and obviously let

00:17:27.120 everyone know why i think this is what's going on when you're saying different paths yeah there's one

00:17:33.280 woman that's gonna listen sit back all right babes even if she's got her opinion she's not gonna say it

00:17:39.600 yep because she just wants to just make her man happy and get on with it and have a happy marriage

00:17:44.960 then you've got the other woman that can be a leader just like her husband however they're both

00:17:51.200 bosses and they come together as a team thank you you know i'm trying to say i know many relationships

00:17:56.720 she's not submissive but she's just understanding she's got her point as well but they're going to

00:18:01.840 come together at the end and they're going to meet at the final but can submit when it's when it's

00:18:06.320 that makes sense could you could you give me an example of that i think i know i know what you

00:18:12.400 mean okay i can give you an example then jay-z and beyonce beyonce she's a leader she's a boss

00:18:19.520 she's an independent woman the biggest capper of all time

00:18:23.520 she's talking about she's talking about she doesn't need a man when she you know you know

00:18:39.360 it's music it's business money but that's what i'm saying she's she's busy brainwashing

00:18:46.720 these people listening to them yeah that's why the woman is evolving into something that

00:18:52.560 i'm not saying that i'm not arguing that point i'm not even arguing that point wait wait wait wait so

00:18:58.160 so when i wait so when when when her when she caught jay-z cheating was she an alpha female or did

00:19:05.680 she say you know what i didn't see anything no wait she was an alpha because she was like

00:19:09.120 do you know what bridgin i'll submit to that one actually but maybe that's what i said when i'm exposing him

00:19:14.240 what you were saying sorry as i said as i made my point some women are understanding remember

00:19:20.240 what we spoke about the other day pearly some men if you're in the entertainment business you know

00:19:26.160 the guy's gonna cheat she's understanding am i gonna throw away this legacy i'm gonna throw away

00:19:31.200 this business or should i just get up with it and throw it along you know what i'm trying to say

00:19:35.600 i'm not saying that she's not a leader and a boss but i'm saying there's some women that can be a

00:19:39.680 leader in the past and be understanding don't mean that they're not submissive yeah but she did cap the

00:19:45.520 whole situation on lemonade like i believe when beyonce came out with that lemonade album yeah i believe

00:19:51.680 everybody said no to their boyfriend and they ran away from her boyfriend and then she was like i'm

00:19:56.720 pregnant with twins i was like oh how are you gonna bring out the lemonade that you're pregnant no no no no

00:20:03.120 you just made me break up with my bad dog that's what people get for following celebrities i've just

00:20:08.720 never i've never met a girl that calls herself an alpha female yeah i really believe is submissive in a

00:20:15.200 relationship yeah yeah i think that people take the word alpha do you think women can actually be alpha

00:20:20.800 females oh to me no no no let's get into it please because i need to understand i'll let you

00:20:27.200 hear if you wanted to me an alpha woman can be a very strong woman who's just got her together tell

00:20:33.120 him again and she knows how to take care of her man she does her thing she she gets on with life

00:20:40.320 and yeah she's a strong woman she can do a bit of diy she can do everything you know i i've got four

00:20:46.400 sisters and let me tell you all my four sisters can do more than me so can i including diy everything

00:20:53.040 they can do everything because they we i grew up in a big family where my sisters had to basically

00:20:59.200 defend themselves and and they grew up in the 90s in in white chapel bethnal green so it was a time where

00:21:05.200 you had to be strong you had to stand up for yourself you would say they're more modern than

00:21:09.840 traditional yes they were like what has better outcomes if the modern alpha females had good

00:21:15.840 outcomes why are men getting their passports and leaving because more time one minute more time

00:21:30.400 if you ask most of these men they were brought up by a single mom wait hold on so would they say that

00:21:36.000 their mom was not an alpha i just that's just what i'd like to throw out because i'm sure if they were

00:21:43.280 raised by a woman who had to hold it down for their whole family and look after them and bring

00:21:47.840 them all up so it sounds to me like she sounds like she's a bit of an alpha but so he was raised by

00:21:52.400 a woman that doesn't know how to how to have a functional relationship who said she doesn't know

00:21:56.080 how to because she couldn't you could have kept it losing if she's a single mother she doesn't know how

00:22:00.000 to have a functional relationship because those are the results no wait wait wait wait you failed

00:22:08.080 the test but oh my god wait wait wait wait wait wait so wait no wait wait wait so yeah so she doesn't

00:22:14.640 know how to function how to have a functional relationship because the the father of the

00:22:18.880 child decided he was like no he decided i don't want to be a dad and he walked out on the child so

00:22:24.800 she doesn't she doesn't know how to have fun yeah because women leave 70 to 80 percent of the time

00:22:28.720 90 percent of their college i'm just i'm just saying so she doesn't know so you did the same

00:22:34.000 because she doesn't she doesn't she she either picked someone like i mean come on why would you have a

00:22:38.640 kid with someone that isn't going to stick around well actually you don't know sometimes you don't know

00:22:45.440 sometimes someone play the game well can i just say something there are some men there are some men

00:22:52.480 who will get a few baby mamas and they visit one from another and they kind of set up their lives

00:22:59.440 so there are men who do that and women and because the women are getting financed or they're getting

00:23:05.840 support they're fine with it because they're living their life yeah but this is exception like you guys

00:23:09.680 keep talking about exceptions i'm talking about the rule the majority of men don't have multiple baby

00:23:13.760 mothers yes one out of three men are either virgins or haven't had sex in the past so we're talking

00:23:17.760 about the rule not the exception and i think a lot of girls will continue to talk to these men even

00:23:22.640 though they know they have multiple babies as many of you know i was just banned on tick tock and we

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JustPearlyThings - November 28, 2023

Why Modern Women Can't FORGET Men's Past

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