You will NOT Believe What She Said
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
190.2758
Summary
In this episode of the BDSM podcast, we discuss the healthiest relationships in the world and how to get into one. We also discuss the dangers of sex outside of BDSM and the lack of women who are willing to take on the role of being a dom in a BDSM relationship.
Transcript
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extreme but you actually see the very clear actually this will it's controversial if you
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think about it but it's the healthiest relationships are from the bdsm community and i will i will
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explain why okay i need you to define healthy no no i need you to like if we're going to claim this
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the reason why i say it's healthy is in order to be able to be in that type of relationship
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because it is so extreme to the point where sometimes there is a chance of death yeah because
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people engage in such extreme activities you need extreme trust in order to get into it is there is
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there any data that backs this up so the the idea this just sounds like this sounds crazy so i i know
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i'm i'm gonna give you the example okay because things are so extreme you're not just going to do
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it even though it's a fantasy you're not going to do it unless you trust that person's not going to
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actually kill you does that make sense so you have to discuss all the details you you say what do i
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like what i don't like they talk about what are the things that you might consider what are the things
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what is a hard no what is a soft no what is and after you've done all of that and you agree that
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you're going to give it a try you have to have a safe word so what happens in that relationship
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one person's the dom one person's the sub who holds the power the dom but is that just sexually
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though what about outside no no no no that's that's yes that's that's that's a trick question
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the ultimate power is the sub why because they can attend when it stops exactly and that's the beauty
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of submission ladies it's the beauty of submitting because you know that you trust that person so much
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that you literally trust them with your life and it's beautiful because you say to this man i am
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willing to submit to you i trust you ultimately for my livelihood and my well-being ultimately i trust you
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100 and i know that if it because it is negotiable if i am uncomfortable even slightly and i don't i
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want to get out of it i want to step away you have my back you will respect me and you are going to give
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me that ability to walk away and just just to add to that um i think when women hear submission
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they just think like the man's in front and they're just behind like trodding along like i'm telling you
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women that does not that's not what submission means like and there's certain points like i said
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before that men actually like you to be uh in the forefront so like i said before in a family you go
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to a family gathering right we don't want to be putting up plates for the kids and making sure
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everyone's fed like that's that's when you can dominate the situation it doesn't mean we have to be
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head hunched all the time it just means the majority of the time we're your safety we're there for you to
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protect you we're there to provide for you so it hasn't got to be all the way like where you're
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just trotted along and we're like in front of you there can be certain points where they dominate
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so um i'm curious for you why do you think there's a shortage of um wives i think i don't i i think
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they're uh jeopardizing their chances to be wives but i think there's a lot of potential husbands
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but you could also make the argument there's shortage of both because they're being turned off because
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does that make sense because of the law yeah yeah and so yeah but i think more women are jeopardizing
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their uh potential to be wives but but i think there's loads of potential husbands who can
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actually get into the husband role like they could be but it's just they don't have the right girl to
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become that exactly what what mistakes do you see girls make that takes them out of the running to
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be wives um i don't know i just want to if i could just simply say it well if they're if they could
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easily get sucked into things like feminism like you know overall yeah i know people say oh but
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there's this type of feminism you know i think we could all agree that all this like men are trash and
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all that stuff that's probably the biggest mistake if you can if you can allow that in
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you know in your mindset and think that that's okay that's probably the biggest one
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that turns men off because you can even just say that's that that's enough because in feminism they
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say you don't have to do this he could just accept you the way you are you don't have to do anything
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you just have to exist and going back to the actual topic of what we're talking about the bar is set
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very just ridiculously high for men to the point where i i used i think that they deliberately do
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that to take the piss it's just so high it's unattainable but for women i feel like there is no
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but it doesn't even exist so you can see that you see the girls on my 300 pound life with a man
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yeah i personally i personally think that the problem these days in modern culture whatever
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you want to call it is that people is actually focusing on the wrong things so these girls are
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talking about and i think there was recently these guys who came in and said they were high value men
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and they wear flashy stuff they act you know a certain way and i can tell you that a high value
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woman the ones that you actually the good ones that you want as a wife they're not going to say yes to
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that guy because they're gonna see him and be like oh he's so insecure he needs to drive a lambo in
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order to feel slightly slightly better about himself slightly because guess what big under all those
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cologne nice shirts whatever gucci bells whatever you want to call it it's a very insecure person who
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needs that physical reassurement because guess what the the real men the real value men they don't wear
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anything flashy you don't even know they have money that's the beauty they wear same t-shirt every day
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and they're the true men with the values they're the ones who they're dangerous they they know their
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stuff and if they want to inflict danger they know but the beauty about them is that they have that
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that that everything's under control so if anyone wants to mess with them you know you're gonna get
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burned but because they're so in control and in their king energy they they they the girls know that
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he is a good person to be with because he can protect me but he also will respect me and love me
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so i think yeah i'm sorry paul um so quick question um this is just from the chat um have you had a
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bdsm relationship personally me no but it's something that you saw 50 shades of gray and
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you're like sign me up no no sign me up can i just put it out there that 50 shades of gray is the worst
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depiction of bdsm there is okay ever it is it is a completely wrong and that is an abusive relationship
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that is not bdsm that is not a consensual relationship every woman fancy what's the
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guy's name because i know they was all reading the book on the train oh mr gray yeah it's the same
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thing girls like the handmaid's tale this is the thing like so girls are attracted to
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they're that's the thing they're confused what they want is the healthy relationship the king
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who is you can tell he can inflict you know trauma and real real real real things like he can protect
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his family he can protect his people but he controls it he's in control of himself these girls are fooled
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because they don't we sometimes when you're young and you don't know better you're fooled by these
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girls you know girls intuition we're not fooled let's not use that language because it's not correct
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women women's intuition is so freaking i'm not saying we're not we know we are not like that
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that's like when we say words like fooled it's implying that we don't know what we're doing
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and that it's a cop-out for women it's like oh we're fooled by the flashy stuff come on okay i'm not
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trying to say that i'm not trying to say that everyone's like that but from personal experience i i was
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i i was i am a person who fell for someone who i thought was a king he tried he didn't see a single red flag
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because i would i didn't know how to see it you didn't okay this is the thing i was like i'm just
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being like i'm just being real with you it just sounds like excuses no no no i i of course i believe
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you yeah and actually for the longest time i noticed that i attracted the same type of guys
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men that unfortunately didn't think about me it was all about them it wasn't about me and
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and and you know what i realized that what what's the constant here me yeah that's the one thing
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that hasn't changed so why am i getting the same experiences so rather than try to say that it's
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their fault i looked at myself and i said what am i not what am i missing right how long did it take
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you to get there though like what age did you start looking at yourself because that's what i
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encourage all my female friends to just look at themselves and see the problems within themselves
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before they start pointing a finger yeah look you should start start whenever i mean the thing is
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is that like i was always a bit late in dating scene anyways like my first and only boyfriend was
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when i was 22 i was with him for two years i honestly thought this was someone i was going to
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marry that's how serious i was but guess what he was a narcissist he gaslighted me all the time his
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whole family was was he diagnosed um he's very self-centered and everything was about but he was never
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diagnosed because okay because again this in a way is an excuse like with that women use because if he
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hasn't seen a therapist and he hasn't been professionally diagnosed you can't diagnose him as a
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narcissist i think it's difficult because i know it's not it's not it's not difficult you know it's
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like if he if he's not hasn't been diagnosed as a narcissist we can't just go around calling people
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narcissists so i'm gonna say narcissistic traits what that means is that a person is coming across a
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certain way but they're not diagnosed i apologize if anyone takes offense to that i think i want to
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answer pearl's question um with regards to what are the mistakes women make um in becoming a wife so
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i think personally today's women think that identifying with feminism is a good long-term strategy
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and it's clearly not because as you said men appreciate youth men appreciate fertility so
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i think the biggest problem of feminism for me is that feminism encourages independence right
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and in today's society for females independence means in my opinion incredibly promiscuous so they
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end up sleeping with multiple guys figuring to do the same thing as men because ultimately
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independence me you can do what you want right by yourself but it's clearly not as many of you know
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