JustPearlyThings - May 13, 2023


You Won't Believe What She Weighs Now

Hosted by
Mentioned
Single Mother Recounting Divorce Decision Pearl BREAKS DOWN Why Men Avoid Post Wall Women

Episode Stats


Length

17 minutes

Words per minute

223.69

Word count

4,010

Sentence count

—

Harmful content

Misogyny

39

sentences flagged

Toxicity

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

24

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, we have a special guest on the show, Penelope. Penelope is a woman who has lost over 130 pounds and lost her weight in the process of losing it. In this episode we talk about her journey from 300 pounds to a weight loss of 130 pounds.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 personally i've tried therapy and i and the first time i tried it i walked out in an anger and rage
00:00:05.240 that i was like human and the second time i told her look it's not gonna work i don't think you
00:00:09.200 can fix my problems you know i agree with you i've been to therapists before and i just thought
00:00:13.480 therapy was like stupid for the most part and now i'm in school for psychology and i see the women 1.00
00:00:18.000 that are therapists and they're nuts i would not go to therapy yeah i feel like they don't care 1.00
00:00:22.220 they're just getting paid to do what they need to do they don't give a fuck so yeah yeah but but i 0.99
00:00:27.060 do think there are some male therapists that are helpful i think it's mostly like male um what do 0.98
00:00:32.540 you think about that um i've never had a male therapist and i wouldn't go to a male therapist
00:00:36.580 because i need to i need to connect with a woman that's like do you know i mean like women no 1.00
00:00:41.820 that's broken like me not necessarily but i feel like women connect easier that no i think i think
00:00:46.480 women look to comfort and men look to solve problems and that's why i don't think therapy works when 1.00
00:00:50.460 they're women most of the time there's exceptions because like men like women are just going to 1.00
00:00:54.240 comfort you they're going to tell you what you want to hear where men will tell you how to fix it
00:00:57.920 but the problem is like women we never want to fix it like actually fix it it's interesting yeah 1.00
00:01:03.200 it's true i had a male therapist actually or the i had a therapist for eight years
00:01:08.380 i'm not in therapy anymore but the first four years it was a woman and the last four years a man and i'm
00:01:15.020 not in therapy anymore and i'm like i'm good now but that's because it was a man not a woman because
00:01:19.440 when i was with a woman they would just sit there and soak in all my issues and all the problems and 0.98
00:01:23.760 there was never a solve or a solution no one was trying to help me and then the trauma what's your
00:01:28.680 like and they call everything trauma everything you know everything abuse or trauma i'm like what
00:01:32.640 the what do you mean i don't believe in trauma i don't believe in trauma either it's a bunch of bs
00:01:38.320 it's just so that psychologists can make money off yeah well i do i do believe in like war trauma
00:01:44.120 like from war what do you mean like i think if a guy goes to war and sees some like sees things
00:01:49.080 that's real trauma but the way we use it today my ex-boyfriend cheated on me
00:01:54.360 my it's just everything's everything but can i say something don't you think there's something called
00:02:00.200 unhealed baggage that we'd be carrying with us because we haven't overcome how we felt in the last
00:02:04.500 relationship i think you should just get over it
00:02:06.160 i think yeah yeah i think that we should quit whining 0.98
00:02:10.540 our great grandmothers had to deal with it like they used to have plagues and shit 1.00
00:02:15.280 getting cheated on like this is just the example i'm using but most of modern day problems are 0.88
00:02:20.200 really nothing compared to like 100 200 years ago you could get the plague and like die you know
00:02:27.560 that'd be traumatic being afraid you know and you're right you know what because i feel like
00:02:31.460 personally i've been through so much i haven't had real therapy and i'm i'm strong i'm still going
00:02:35.880 you know what i mean i don't really it's not affecting me maybe it is in a way but it's not
00:02:40.460 in intervening in my life yeah strong strongly the reveling in the story is what a lot of the women 1.00
00:02:46.360 therapists were using penelope's my daughter and they were um you know really listening to your story
00:02:51.520 and and and giving a lot of emphasis to it like you were really overweight and the therapist were
00:02:56.500 like no no don't don't talk about it don't don't don't try to help her lose weight and i'm like
00:03:00.840 what do you mean like we've got to fix this problem like what's the plan it was so frustrating
00:03:05.140 oh so they wouldn't try to solve like how big were you i was 300 pounds shut up i was 300 pounds 0.54
00:03:11.920 you look great can we get us can we get us how did how did your life change from going from 300 pounds
00:03:19.340 to i don't know what you are now but clearly not so i lost 130 pounds actually wow and you're tall too
00:03:25.160 yes what are you six two no five nine and a half oh so you look you look tall as heck
00:03:29.380 okay um but basically i was you know i think part of the problem was because i was in therapy for
00:03:35.380 so long and i nobody told me in therapy that there was anything wrong with me and i had depression i
00:03:40.360 had anxiety i had suicidal thoughts and i was not i didn't have a good relationship with my father at
00:03:44.720 the time and nobody was saying oh you need to lose the weight your life will be better if you just do
00:03:49.560 that nobody they tried to give me medication they tried to give me pills they tried to put me in
00:03:53.860 more therapy and it wasn't until one day i looked in the mirror and i'm like i don't want to be like
00:03:58.280 this anymore i don't want to feel like this anymore and to be honest the body positivity movement
00:04:02.920 crushed my soul and told me oh you should be you know you're beautiful no matter what size you are
00:04:08.620 you're beautiful no matter you know how much you weigh you're beautiful no matter what you eat you can
00:04:12.900 eat anything you want and you're gorgeous go girl and i and i thought it was okay wow i thought it was
00:04:18.620 okay because no one said anything and i could be sitting here if 300 pounds right now if i didn't make the 0.94
00:04:23.080 decision to say penelope you need to get your butt off the couch and work out fix your diet fix your 0.93
00:04:27.980 mental health fix everything and now i'm perfectly fine no meds just naturally all natural what do 0.96
00:04:35.480 you do you think that contributes to 70 percent of women being overweight in the u.s completely i
00:04:41.360 completely think that yeah go ahead no i just think that i think that the fact that people are obese and
00:04:46.700 that they make all these excuses for oh i'm obese because of this i'm obese because you can lose weight
00:04:50.840 no matter what anyone can lose weight it's just about finding the right way to do it and what do
00:04:55.440 you think of the women that say we need like representation and magazines we need fat chicks 1.00
00:05:01.340 on the cover victoria's secret fashion show it repulses me so it repulses me to see that because
00:05:07.940 you've been there it does because i've been there and not only that but you are showing thousands and
00:05:12.900 millions of women in the world that it is one okay to be unhealthy two okay to be slowly killing 1.00
00:05:18.140 yourself and three okay to go outside and dress provocatively with your rolls out i was a plus
00:05:26.660 size model like in the 90s you were a plus size model in the 90s yeah is there anything wrong with
00:05:32.020 a little plus size girl yeah because what about the people that actually what about the people that 0.57
00:05:36.840 actually can't lose weight physically they will never wait wait that's not a thing but but what about
00:05:40.900 people that actually but they mentally can't so that for the rest of their life they're going to be that
00:05:44.140 same size they need some they need some empowerment because otherwise they could you know commit
00:05:48.260 suicide do you go to a basketball game and look to see like an nba game or what do you guys have
00:05:55.280 football right football here you go to a football game here and you try to see average football players
00:06:00.020 average like below average football players play football here when you go to a professional game
00:06:05.780 do we see them no do you do you go there to see that oh well no so then why on the cover of magazines
00:06:11.240 which is supposed to be the epitome of beauty do we have below average women on it right like why 1.00
00:06:16.540 like why is that why do we need that i feel i feel ashamed i don't like it i don't want to see it i think
00:06:22.200 you're right about the fact that they're doing it to because you know if you want to talk about the
00:06:26.480 health system and the way the world's set up they don't want people to come out of a bce right so 1.00
00:06:31.220 they're going to make it look like it's okay they don't want you to so so why wouldn't we have
00:06:35.180 healthy people on the front of them i'm not saying like because they don't want that yeah yeah but
00:06:39.140 you said we need that earlier no but i was saying that for the people that don't that actually fit i
00:06:44.400 think in my head i'm thinking for the people that actually because a person that actually cannot
00:06:48.440 overcome obesity and for the rest of their life to the age of 60 70 they're still going to be
00:06:53.440 overweight those people are probably feeling yes like they're they're feeling okay they're
00:06:57.660 they're empowered that's not a thing would you rather be empowered than commit suicide because
00:07:02.120 people think oh look at you you're fat but when you're eat when you're overeating you're slowly
00:07:06.700 committing suicide exactly my mother did it wow she died wow like her cause of death was severe obesity
00:07:13.640 and then when my daughter started gaining the weight i was freaking out right and so that's why we're on
00:07:18.880 a mission yeah but don't you think there's a certain level though obviously there's obesity
00:07:22.400 and there's because i feel like the modeling world has always promoted unhealthy unhealthiness
00:07:28.780 and that makes sense even the slim women slimming women was like six and like very small do you 1.00
00:07:33.660 get what i'm saying that would they look like they weren't eating i don't think so if you look at i
00:07:36.520 always hear that but i like i look at marilyn monroe she was healthy yeah but they're talking about
00:07:40.700 one person there's a lot of a lot of women in the modeling world was very slim and they wouldn't eat 1.00
00:07:45.700 or they wouldn't do something just to fit in the certain category do you get what i'm saying
00:07:48.460 i mean there are some but i just maybe for like early 2000s but i think if you look at the last
00:07:53.760 like 100 years i think most women on the covers were just objectively beautiful what's the average 1.00
00:07:59.420 weight you would say uh let's see i don't know off the top of my head i mean as a ford model the girls 1.00
00:08:05.660 who were in straight size modeling they were size four and that's because the samples are made in a size
00:08:10.060 four and so is your four different from uk four oh yeah it is a bit yeah like more like a two
00:08:16.140 i think it'd be more like a two the average the average woman she's gone she's okay the average 0.99
00:08:23.020 woman is five four i'm in america and i can do uk in a second yeah five four 20 years old and weighs 170 0.97
00:08:29.740 pounds oh what's that in stone please because the pounds yeah okay okay
00:08:33.820 but that's overweight i would say that that average that she just quoted would be 12 stone 12 12.14 okay
00:08:51.900 because i would think that average is between 8 to 12 i think if you're in a good in shape 12 there's
00:08:57.420 good in shape 12 women anything above that then we're talking obesity you know what i'm saying 0.92
00:09:03.500 i mean i think it's bmi yeah to be honest sorry uh to be honest it depends i think like around 10
00:09:10.220 years ago it used to be way different i think now they kind of raised it you know yeah yeah i think
00:09:18.300 10 years ago i went i don't know why it was like 65 kilos i don't know what that is sorry in in stones
00:09:25.420 it must be like 165 in um in america 2.2 to 1. yeah and they would already say oh you should try to
00:09:33.180 lose weight you know for your height whatever now if you look at that they're like yeah you're perfect
00:09:38.540 you can be a model so it really changed in the last decade i would say really it did so was about
00:09:45.180 around 10 years ago was there plus size models is that a new thing i'll be honest not really we're
00:09:50.380 we definitely were on america's next top model i mean it wasn't that as common though but i definitely
00:09:55.180 i i know i used to watch tyra banks anyone yeah yeah anyone there yeah but they weren't like this
00:10:02.060 they weren't like the the the like super yeah yeah like you see today they're just kind of like
00:10:06.780 they're like 10s you know big boned uh 10's all right 10's not big no 10's not big at all
00:10:15.900 like this is what i'm saying for the modeling world that's big yeah but again it's like when
00:10:19.180 you go to an nba game i want to see good basketball players like it's supposed to be the epitome of
00:10:24.140 beauty yeah but like now we're rewarding average like i don't want to see average chicks like faces on 1.00
00:10:29.500 the cover of magazine why don't i want to see average bodies i hear that but if she's if she's 1.00
00:10:33.820 a good i'm not saying plus plus but she's a good size 12 with good curves in that man don't want to 1.00
00:10:38.700 see that we don't really want to just see slim girls all the time i'll be honest i believe that
00:10:42.380 i believe that some men like that i really do it's typically to be honest it's typically broke men
00:10:47.820 because if you look at rich men yeah yeah if you look at like it's so catholic i'm just i don't like
00:10:52.940 liars no offense but it's like like when you see rich men what do they have on their arms but the
00:10:59.580 only reason why they have slim women is because the slim women are in the higher echelons of places 1.00
00:11:05.340 where the other women no not in beauty no let's not talk about beauty only i'm talking about 0.98
00:11:09.900 venues certain venues certain places that they get to go to certain women can't get to go there okay 1.00
00:11:15.260 you get what i'm saying leonardo dicaprio if he wanted a big chick he couldn't find one no he can
00:11:20.540 find one but i'm saying in certain the plate the venue the events no the events he goes from
00:11:25.980 instagram come on they can get any chick they want yeah they can but but do you think leonardo
00:11:33.420 just got in him bear girls dms just hollering girls in the dms i think if he wants i think
00:11:38.300 he'll i think he'll pick like he hollered at that one chick uh the hadid who's that oh yeah yeah 1.00
00:11:44.540 yeah gg hadid the model yeah i don't know what i say it's like if you look at the richest most
00:11:51.260 successful men they they typically have slim women i'm saying if you're looking at the richest parts of
00:11:56.140 events and venues mayfair whatever and in america manhattan whatever if you go to the upper echelons of
00:12:02.940 places they've got to be you know what i'm saying do you really think that the only reason they're with
00:12:07.740 slim beautiful women is because of the events they go no but i'm saying because of the environment that 1.00
00:12:13.020 they're in okay i think that was because that was that is society's ideal of a beautiful woman 1.00
00:12:18.220 that's why and so i feel like the plus model came in when people started complaining that there
00:12:22.860 wasn't a selection of variety of different sizes why why is it that all around the world they like
00:12:27.900 young beautiful slim women everywhere even in different societies with completely different 1.00
00:12:33.740 cultures please please do not bring up this one fringent tribe in africa everyone brings up but
00:12:40.140 it's like they're it's such a small percentage of the world well africa there's something no 1.00
00:12:45.900 they're trying they bring up some tribe in africa it's this that that likes the fat women but it's 0.94
00:12:50.700 a very very i've done this conversation but if you think i hear that but if you think about it's the
00:12:54.780 motherland please don't be disingenuous no i'm not being but i'm all right me coming now you know deep
00:13:02.540 down you know that men like slim women in general i'm gonna be honest i don't think they do i'm gonna be honest i
00:13:08.140 don't i don't like and i'm gonna say this coming from being a black man okay if i'm talking about
00:13:14.380 being a black man and from a black perspective of i feel like majority of us man like thicker women
00:13:20.700 okay well and and and even jordan no no no but you keep talking about celebrity men that are going to be
00:13:26.780 around higher women that have that certain women i'm from a one percent family my dad my dad my dad is
00:13:32.860 a top one percent earner i grew up around in a wealthy neighborhood i'm telling you they do not put fat
00:13:37.340 chicks on their arms in high class in high class society and celebrities want people with the 1.00
00:13:42.700 option to not have a fat chick on their arm do not all right but what even like i was having a 1.00
00:13:47.260 conversation the other day with with a woman and she was a slim woman she's from america as well so 0.98
00:13:51.980 american um i think like atlanta or emma and she said when she was slim she was only getting approached
00:13:57.740 by white men okay she put she put on a lot of weight no not a lot of weight but she's ticked got body 1.00
00:14:02.700 whatever blah blah blah now she's getting approached by a lot of black men which is what
00:14:07.420 do you get what i'm saying but i'm saying if you if you look at it on on the democrats thing which
00:14:11.820 which successful black men that we know are dating are we only going to talk about successful men yeah
00:14:16.860 because those are the men with options broke men don't have as many options as rich men they do not
00:14:21.260 have as many options as rich men so if you look at the men with the most options to look okay so if
00:14:25.500 we want to see what women want we got to look at the women with the most option who do the most beautiful 0.52
00:14:29.580 the youngest most fertile women pick if we want to look at men what do men like we have to look 0.98
00:14:34.220 at the men with the most options because it's not really fair to say oh i like fat chicks if i make 1.00
00:14:38.460 you know ten dollars an hour at taco bell right like you can't you don't get no i get that but
00:14:46.460 obviously if you're going if you're talking about celebrities celebrities are guided no i didn't but i
00:14:50.940 didn't just say celebrities i'm from i'm my dad is in like he's a top one percent earner i grew up with
00:14:57.260 ten siblings in a ten bedroom mansion in a community where many people made that amount of
00:15:02.060 money yeah so so i've been around a successful wealthy man and they don't put fat chicks sometimes
00:15:07.740 they they do get fat later but they don't appreciate that you know what i mean so yeah but i hear what
00:15:12.860 you're saying what i'm saying the reason these men obviously going to go for similar because they're
00:15:17.900 around that's what you being in the top one percent and being in in this neighborhood okay it allows you
00:15:22.940 to see different things you get like if you do no but if you do have money obviously if you do have
00:15:27.260 money a lot of people with money are in the gym they do it because they have more time on their
00:15:32.060 hands to do other things you get what i'm saying no they have less time guaranteed you think they have
00:15:36.460 less time people absolutely have less time totally no i don't know about that you know no no i could
00:15:41.580 tell you a hundred percent but also i think the reason that a lot of women and are slimmer and why do you 1.00
00:15:46.940 think more successful men want women who are slimmer is because it's healthier for them like 1.00
00:15:52.060 their risk for getting you know diseases at an older age their risk for having pregnancy risks are
00:15:57.820 much lower if they're not overweight so why would a man choose a woman if he wants to marry them if 0.98
00:16:04.220 they're going to die at 50 if they're going to die at 70 if they're going to have their children's going
00:16:08.220 to have be at risk for birth risk i mean i would never want that and i don't think i don't think men
00:16:12.860 want that like when men are looking for wives they're not looking for children like women who are going 1.00
00:16:18.220 to have risks and we even saw how for you how your bad habit passed on to her and that's like
00:16:24.700 if you have a bad habit yourself you will pass it on to your kids and then it's another problem that
00:16:28.540 your kid like because i had the same my mom used to feed me like pop tarts and stuff when i was a kid
00:16:32.380 and i and my mom was pretty big and then she ended up like losing all the weight um and she told me
00:16:37.580 like she literally did it for my dad um and um yeah i have a sugar addiction to this day
00:16:43.420 you know what i mean so it's like bad habits pass from like the parents to the kids exactly and sugar is more
00:16:47.980 addictive than cocaine yeah yeah i do miss pop tarts they make healthy pop tarts but they're really
00:16:54.540 not healthy they're still junk food no i don't i don't like i like the cinnamon one i went in the
00:16:59.980 complete opposite direction like total neurosis i got my bachelor's and master's degree in nutrition
00:17:04.700 i helped thousands of people lose weight regain their health and it was almost like her rebellion
00:17:09.740 so her choice to gain autonomy through overeating and ill health was almost you know well it was just 1.00
00:17:17.340 so so crazy for me because i was so healthy i thought you said you were overweight as a kid
00:17:22.300 i was but as an adult so you were super what were you doing my whole life until i was like 15 i was
00:17:28.860 like rebelling against her i was like i'm gonna eat all the junk food so i'd go to my friend's house
00:17:33.180 and i'd stuff my face with pizza and then their moms would call her and be like oh my gosh is your 0.85
00:17:37.820 daughter okay she's eaten like a box of pizza and like my whole box of goldfish wow and i would just do 0.71
00:17:43.580 that and then i'd come home and i would never like her cooking even though she's the best cook i know
00:17:47.740 but like i wouldn't i just rebelled my whole life yeah it was terrible