JustPearlyThings - May 13, 2023


You Won't Believe What She Weighs Now


Episode Stats

Length

17 minutes

Words per Minute

223.69327

Word Count

4,010

Sentence Count

5


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 personally i've tried therapy and i and the first time i tried it i walked out in an anger and rage
00:00:05.240 that i was like human and the second time i told her look it's not gonna work i don't think you
00:00:09.200 can fix my problems you know i agree with you i've been to therapists before and i just thought
00:00:13.480 therapy was like stupid for the most part and now i'm in school for psychology and i see the women
00:00:18.000 that are therapists and they're nuts i would not go to therapy yeah i feel like they don't care
00:00:22.220 they're just getting paid to do what they need to do they don't give a fuck so yeah yeah but but i
00:00:27.060 do think there are some male therapists that are helpful i think it's mostly like male um what do
00:00:32.540 you think about that um i've never had a male therapist and i wouldn't go to a male therapist
00:00:36.580 because i need to i need to connect with a woman that's like do you know i mean like women no
00:00:41.820 that's broken like me not necessarily but i feel like women connect easier that no i think i think
00:00:46.480 women look to comfort and men look to solve problems and that's why i don't think therapy works when
00:00:50.460 they're women most of the time there's exceptions because like men like women are just going to
00:00:54.240 comfort you they're going to tell you what you want to hear where men will tell you how to fix it
00:00:57.920 but the problem is like women we never want to fix it like actually fix it it's interesting yeah
00:01:03.200 it's true i had a male therapist actually or the i had a therapist for eight years
00:01:08.380 i'm not in therapy anymore but the first four years it was a woman and the last four years a man and i'm
00:01:15.020 not in therapy anymore and i'm like i'm good now but that's because it was a man not a woman because
00:01:19.440 when i was with a woman they would just sit there and soak in all my issues and all the problems and
00:01:23.760 there was never a solve or a solution no one was trying to help me and then the trauma what's your
00:01:28.680 like and they call everything trauma everything you know everything abuse or trauma i'm like what
00:01:32.640 the what do you mean i don't believe in trauma i don't believe in trauma either it's a bunch of bs
00:01:38.320 it's just so that psychologists can make money off yeah well i do i do believe in like war trauma
00:01:44.120 like from war what do you mean like i think if a guy goes to war and sees some like sees things
00:01:49.080 that's real trauma but the way we use it today my ex-boyfriend cheated on me
00:01:54.360 my it's just everything's everything but can i say something don't you think there's something called
00:02:00.200 unhealed baggage that we'd be carrying with us because we haven't overcome how we felt in the last
00:02:04.500 relationship i think you should just get over it
00:02:06.160 i think yeah yeah i think that we should quit whining
00:02:10.540 our great grandmothers had to deal with it like they used to have plagues and shit
00:02:15.280 getting cheated on like this is just the example i'm using but most of modern day problems are
00:02:20.200 really nothing compared to like 100 200 years ago you could get the plague and like die you know
00:02:27.560 that'd be traumatic being afraid you know and you're right you know what because i feel like
00:02:31.460 personally i've been through so much i haven't had real therapy and i'm i'm strong i'm still going
00:02:35.880 you know what i mean i don't really it's not affecting me maybe it is in a way but it's not
00:02:40.460 in intervening in my life yeah strong strongly the reveling in the story is what a lot of the women
00:02:46.360 therapists were using penelope's my daughter and they were um you know really listening to your story
00:02:51.520 and and and giving a lot of emphasis to it like you were really overweight and the therapist were
00:02:56.500 like no no don't don't talk about it don't don't don't try to help her lose weight and i'm like
00:03:00.840 what do you mean like we've got to fix this problem like what's the plan it was so frustrating
00:03:05.140 oh so they wouldn't try to solve like how big were you i was 300 pounds shut up i was 300 pounds
00:03:11.920 you look great can we get us can we get us how did how did your life change from going from 300 pounds
00:03:19.340 to i don't know what you are now but clearly not so i lost 130 pounds actually wow and you're tall too
00:03:25.160 yes what are you six two no five nine and a half oh so you look you look tall as heck
00:03:29.380 okay um but basically i was you know i think part of the problem was because i was in therapy for
00:03:35.380 so long and i nobody told me in therapy that there was anything wrong with me and i had depression i
00:03:40.360 had anxiety i had suicidal thoughts and i was not i didn't have a good relationship with my father at
00:03:44.720 the time and nobody was saying oh you need to lose the weight your life will be better if you just do
00:03:49.560 that nobody they tried to give me medication they tried to give me pills they tried to put me in
00:03:53.860 more therapy and it wasn't until one day i looked in the mirror and i'm like i don't want to be like
00:03:58.280 this anymore i don't want to feel like this anymore and to be honest the body positivity movement
00:04:02.920 crushed my soul and told me oh you should be you know you're beautiful no matter what size you are
00:04:08.620 you're beautiful no matter you know how much you weigh you're beautiful no matter what you eat you can
00:04:12.900 eat anything you want and you're gorgeous go girl and i and i thought it was okay wow i thought it was
00:04:18.620 okay because no one said anything and i could be sitting here if 300 pounds right now if i didn't make the
00:04:23.080 decision to say penelope you need to get your butt off the couch and work out fix your diet fix your
00:04:27.980 mental health fix everything and now i'm perfectly fine no meds just naturally all natural what do
00:04:35.480 you do you think that contributes to 70 percent of women being overweight in the u.s completely i
00:04:41.360 completely think that yeah go ahead no i just think that i think that the fact that people are obese and
00:04:46.700 that they make all these excuses for oh i'm obese because of this i'm obese because you can lose weight
00:04:50.840 no matter what anyone can lose weight it's just about finding the right way to do it and what do
00:04:55.440 you think of the women that say we need like representation and magazines we need fat chicks
00:05:01.340 on the cover victoria's secret fashion show it repulses me so it repulses me to see that because
00:05:07.940 you've been there it does because i've been there and not only that but you are showing thousands and
00:05:12.900 millions of women in the world that it is one okay to be unhealthy two okay to be slowly killing
00:05:18.140 yourself and three okay to go outside and dress provocatively with your rolls out i was a plus
00:05:26.660 size model like in the 90s you were a plus size model in the 90s yeah is there anything wrong with
00:05:32.020 a little plus size girl yeah because what about the people that actually what about the people that
00:05:36.840 actually can't lose weight physically they will never wait wait that's not a thing but but what about
00:05:40.900 people that actually but they mentally can't so that for the rest of their life they're going to be that
00:05:44.140 same size they need some they need some empowerment because otherwise they could you know commit
00:05:48.260 suicide do you go to a basketball game and look to see like an nba game or what do you guys have
00:05:55.280 football right football here you go to a football game here and you try to see average football players
00:06:00.020 average like below average football players play football here when you go to a professional game
00:06:05.780 do we see them no do you do you go there to see that oh well no so then why on the cover of magazines
00:06:11.240 which is supposed to be the epitome of beauty do we have below average women on it right like why
00:06:16.540 like why is that why do we need that i feel i feel ashamed i don't like it i don't want to see it i think
00:06:22.200 you're right about the fact that they're doing it to because you know if you want to talk about the
00:06:26.480 health system and the way the world's set up they don't want people to come out of a bce right so
00:06:31.220 they're going to make it look like it's okay they don't want you to so so why wouldn't we have
00:06:35.180 healthy people on the front of them i'm not saying like because they don't want that yeah yeah but
00:06:39.140 you said we need that earlier no but i was saying that for the people that don't that actually fit i
00:06:44.400 think in my head i'm thinking for the people that actually because a person that actually cannot
00:06:48.440 overcome obesity and for the rest of their life to the age of 60 70 they're still going to be
00:06:53.440 overweight those people are probably feeling yes like they're they're feeling okay they're
00:06:57.660 they're empowered that's not a thing would you rather be empowered than commit suicide because
00:07:02.120 people think oh look at you you're fat but when you're eat when you're overeating you're slowly
00:07:06.700 committing suicide exactly my mother did it wow she died wow like her cause of death was severe obesity
00:07:13.640 and then when my daughter started gaining the weight i was freaking out right and so that's why we're on
00:07:18.880 a mission yeah but don't you think there's a certain level though obviously there's obesity
00:07:22.400 and there's because i feel like the modeling world has always promoted unhealthy unhealthiness
00:07:28.780 and that makes sense even the slim women slimming women was like six and like very small do you
00:07:33.660 get what i'm saying that would they look like they weren't eating i don't think so if you look at i
00:07:36.520 always hear that but i like i look at marilyn monroe she was healthy yeah but they're talking about
00:07:40.700 one person there's a lot of a lot of women in the modeling world was very slim and they wouldn't eat
00:07:45.700 or they wouldn't do something just to fit in the certain category do you get what i'm saying
00:07:48.460 i mean there are some but i just maybe for like early 2000s but i think if you look at the last
00:07:53.760 like 100 years i think most women on the covers were just objectively beautiful what's the average
00:07:59.420 weight you would say uh let's see i don't know off the top of my head i mean as a ford model the girls
00:08:05.660 who were in straight size modeling they were size four and that's because the samples are made in a size
00:08:10.060 four and so is your four different from uk four oh yeah it is a bit yeah like more like a two
00:08:16.140 i think it'd be more like a two the average the average woman she's gone she's okay the average
00:08:23.020 woman is five four i'm in america and i can do uk in a second yeah five four 20 years old and weighs 170
00:08:29.740 pounds oh what's that in stone please because the pounds yeah okay okay
00:08:33.820 but that's overweight i would say that that average that she just quoted would be 12 stone 12 12.14 okay
00:08:51.900 because i would think that average is between 8 to 12 i think if you're in a good in shape 12 there's
00:08:57.420 good in shape 12 women anything above that then we're talking obesity you know what i'm saying
00:09:03.500 i mean i think it's bmi yeah to be honest sorry uh to be honest it depends i think like around 10
00:09:10.220 years ago it used to be way different i think now they kind of raised it you know yeah yeah i think
00:09:18.300 10 years ago i went i don't know why it was like 65 kilos i don't know what that is sorry in in stones
00:09:25.420 it must be like 165 in um in america 2.2 to 1. yeah and they would already say oh you should try to
00:09:33.180 lose weight you know for your height whatever now if you look at that they're like yeah you're perfect
00:09:38.540 you can be a model so it really changed in the last decade i would say really it did so was about
00:09:45.180 around 10 years ago was there plus size models is that a new thing i'll be honest not really we're
00:09:50.380 we definitely were on america's next top model i mean it wasn't that as common though but i definitely
00:09:55.180 i i know i used to watch tyra banks anyone yeah yeah anyone there yeah but they weren't like this
00:10:02.060 they weren't like the the the like super yeah yeah like you see today they're just kind of like
00:10:06.780 they're like 10s you know big boned uh 10's all right 10's not big no 10's not big at all
00:10:15.900 like this is what i'm saying for the modeling world that's big yeah but again it's like when
00:10:19.180 you go to an nba game i want to see good basketball players like it's supposed to be the epitome of
00:10:24.140 beauty yeah but like now we're rewarding average like i don't want to see average chicks like faces on
00:10:29.500 the cover of magazine why don't i want to see average bodies i hear that but if she's if she's
00:10:33.820 a good i'm not saying plus plus but she's a good size 12 with good curves in that man don't want to
00:10:38.700 see that we don't really want to just see slim girls all the time i'll be honest i believe that
00:10:42.380 i believe that some men like that i really do it's typically to be honest it's typically broke men
00:10:47.820 because if you look at rich men yeah yeah if you look at like it's so catholic i'm just i don't like
00:10:52.940 liars no offense but it's like like when you see rich men what do they have on their arms but the
00:10:59.580 only reason why they have slim women is because the slim women are in the higher echelons of places
00:11:05.340 where the other women no not in beauty no let's not talk about beauty only i'm talking about
00:11:09.900 venues certain venues certain places that they get to go to certain women can't get to go there okay
00:11:15.260 you get what i'm saying leonardo dicaprio if he wanted a big chick he couldn't find one no he can
00:11:20.540 find one but i'm saying in certain the plate the venue the events no the events he goes from
00:11:25.980 instagram come on they can get any chick they want yeah they can but but do you think leonardo
00:11:33.420 just got in him bear girls dms just hollering girls in the dms i think if he wants i think
00:11:38.300 he'll i think he'll pick like he hollered at that one chick uh the hadid who's that oh yeah yeah
00:11:44.540 yeah gg hadid the model yeah i don't know what i say it's like if you look at the richest most
00:11:51.260 successful men they they typically have slim women i'm saying if you're looking at the richest parts of
00:11:56.140 events and venues mayfair whatever and in america manhattan whatever if you go to the upper echelons of
00:12:02.940 places they've got to be you know what i'm saying do you really think that the only reason they're with
00:12:07.740 slim beautiful women is because of the events they go no but i'm saying because of the environment that
00:12:13.020 they're in okay i think that was because that was that is society's ideal of a beautiful woman
00:12:18.220 that's why and so i feel like the plus model came in when people started complaining that there
00:12:22.860 wasn't a selection of variety of different sizes why why is it that all around the world they like
00:12:27.900 young beautiful slim women everywhere even in different societies with completely different
00:12:33.740 cultures please please do not bring up this one fringent tribe in africa everyone brings up but
00:12:40.140 it's like they're it's such a small percentage of the world well africa there's something no
00:12:45.900 they're trying they bring up some tribe in africa it's this that that likes the fat women but it's
00:12:50.700 a very very i've done this conversation but if you think i hear that but if you think about it's the
00:12:54.780 motherland please don't be disingenuous no i'm not being but i'm all right me coming now you know deep
00:13:02.540 down you know that men like slim women in general i'm gonna be honest i don't think they do i'm gonna be honest i
00:13:08.140 don't i don't like and i'm gonna say this coming from being a black man okay if i'm talking about
00:13:14.380 being a black man and from a black perspective of i feel like majority of us man like thicker women
00:13:20.700 okay well and and and even jordan no no no but you keep talking about celebrity men that are going to be
00:13:26.780 around higher women that have that certain women i'm from a one percent family my dad my dad my dad is
00:13:32.860 a top one percent earner i grew up around in a wealthy neighborhood i'm telling you they do not put fat
00:13:37.340 chicks on their arms in high class in high class society and celebrities want people with the
00:13:42.700 option to not have a fat chick on their arm do not all right but what even like i was having a
00:13:47.260 conversation the other day with with a woman and she was a slim woman she's from america as well so
00:13:51.980 american um i think like atlanta or emma and she said when she was slim she was only getting approached
00:13:57.740 by white men okay she put she put on a lot of weight no not a lot of weight but she's ticked got body
00:14:02.700 whatever blah blah blah now she's getting approached by a lot of black men which is what
00:14:07.420 do you get what i'm saying but i'm saying if you if you look at it on on the democrats thing which
00:14:11.820 which successful black men that we know are dating are we only going to talk about successful men yeah
00:14:16.860 because those are the men with options broke men don't have as many options as rich men they do not
00:14:21.260 have as many options as rich men so if you look at the men with the most options to look okay so if
00:14:25.500 we want to see what women want we got to look at the women with the most option who do the most beautiful
00:14:29.580 the youngest most fertile women pick if we want to look at men what do men like we have to look
00:14:34.220 at the men with the most options because it's not really fair to say oh i like fat chicks if i make
00:14:38.460 you know ten dollars an hour at taco bell right like you can't you don't get no i get that but
00:14:46.460 obviously if you're going if you're talking about celebrities celebrities are guided no i didn't but i
00:14:50.940 didn't just say celebrities i'm from i'm my dad is in like he's a top one percent earner i grew up with
00:14:57.260 ten siblings in a ten bedroom mansion in a community where many people made that amount of
00:15:02.060 money yeah so so i've been around a successful wealthy man and they don't put fat chicks sometimes
00:15:07.740 they they do get fat later but they don't appreciate that you know what i mean so yeah but i hear what
00:15:12.860 you're saying what i'm saying the reason these men obviously going to go for similar because they're
00:15:17.900 around that's what you being in the top one percent and being in in this neighborhood okay it allows you
00:15:22.940 to see different things you get like if you do no but if you do have money obviously if you do have
00:15:27.260 money a lot of people with money are in the gym they do it because they have more time on their
00:15:32.060 hands to do other things you get what i'm saying no they have less time guaranteed you think they have
00:15:36.460 less time people absolutely have less time totally no i don't know about that you know no no i could
00:15:41.580 tell you a hundred percent but also i think the reason that a lot of women and are slimmer and why do you
00:15:46.940 think more successful men want women who are slimmer is because it's healthier for them like
00:15:52.060 their risk for getting you know diseases at an older age their risk for having pregnancy risks are
00:15:57.820 much lower if they're not overweight so why would a man choose a woman if he wants to marry them if
00:16:04.220 they're going to die at 50 if they're going to die at 70 if they're going to have their children's going
00:16:08.220 to have be at risk for birth risk i mean i would never want that and i don't think i don't think men
00:16:12.860 want that like when men are looking for wives they're not looking for children like women who are going
00:16:18.220 to have risks and we even saw how for you how your bad habit passed on to her and that's like
00:16:24.700 if you have a bad habit yourself you will pass it on to your kids and then it's another problem that
00:16:28.540 your kid like because i had the same my mom used to feed me like pop tarts and stuff when i was a kid
00:16:32.380 and i and my mom was pretty big and then she ended up like losing all the weight um and she told me
00:16:37.580 like she literally did it for my dad um and um yeah i have a sugar addiction to this day
00:16:43.420 you know what i mean so it's like bad habits pass from like the parents to the kids exactly and sugar is more
00:16:47.980 addictive than cocaine yeah yeah i do miss pop tarts they make healthy pop tarts but they're really
00:16:54.540 not healthy they're still junk food no i don't i don't like i like the cinnamon one i went in the
00:16:59.980 complete opposite direction like total neurosis i got my bachelor's and master's degree in nutrition
00:17:04.700 i helped thousands of people lose weight regain their health and it was almost like her rebellion
00:17:09.740 so her choice to gain autonomy through overeating and ill health was almost you know well it was just
00:17:17.340 so so crazy for me because i was so healthy i thought you said you were overweight as a kid
00:17:22.300 i was but as an adult so you were super what were you doing my whole life until i was like 15 i was
00:17:28.860 like rebelling against her i was like i'm gonna eat all the junk food so i'd go to my friend's house
00:17:33.180 and i'd stuff my face with pizza and then their moms would call her and be like oh my gosh is your
00:17:37.820 daughter okay she's eaten like a box of pizza and like my whole box of goldfish wow and i would just do
00:17:43.580 that and then i'd come home and i would never like her cooking even though she's the best cook i know
00:17:47.740 but like i wouldn't i just rebelled my whole life yeah it was terrible