Leo D.M.J. Aurini - November 03, 2012


Why do the modern Alien movies suck？


Episode Stats


Length

13 minutes

Words per minute

123.79475

Word count

1,729

Sentence count

153

Harmful content

Misogyny

21

sentences flagged

Toxicity

61

sentences flagged

Hate speech

5

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Why does the Alien franchise suck now? Why do the movies have terrible people in them now? And why is it that the first two movies were so good, and the third one is so bad? I'll tell you why.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Why does the Alien franchise suck now? 0.61
00:00:07.000 I'm a fan of movie reviewers. I really like watching movie reviews.
00:00:14.000 Guys like Spoonie, Nostalgia Critic, Confused Matthew, SF Debris.
00:00:20.000 I'm really entertained by these guys.
00:00:23.000 Particularly as an author, I learn a lot from listening to these reviews.
00:00:32.000 I have no interest in becoming a reviewer, however.
00:00:37.000 Author and critic are very two different things,
00:00:42.000 and very few are the Yahtzees that can transcend the divide. 0.85
00:00:53.000 That's that I am a culture critic.
00:00:57.000 And the Alien movies are just such an amazing example,
00:01:01.000 where the first two movies were stupendous.
00:01:05.000 They were so, so good.
00:01:08.000 And everything since then just keeps getting worse and worse as time goes on.
00:01:16.000 It's almost baffling.
00:01:21.000 And I've seen a lot of reviews of the movies,
00:01:26.000 trying to explain the different elements that are all wrong with it.
00:01:31.000 But they're missing...
00:01:34.000 It's one thing I've never seen mentioned in any of them.
00:01:40.000 Which is what I'd like to address with this video.
00:01:43.000 Maybe it's the fact that I'm an author allows me to see behind the workings of the movies.
00:01:53.000 I'm not examining them from the top down, I'm examining them from the bottom up.
00:01:57.000 So maybe that's why I've noticed this, and nobody else has.
00:02:02.000 But in a nutshell, it's that the movies have terrible people in them now.
00:02:10.000 Let's go back to Alien, the first one. Alien 1, we'll call it.
00:02:19.000 This was an example of a strong female character. 0.97
00:02:24.000 Strong female characters are almost completely gone from modern cinema.
00:02:29.000 What you have instead is the empowered female character. 1.00
00:02:35.000 Ripley, in 1 and 2, was playing a strong female. 0.91
00:02:42.000 I don't know if they established whether or not she had a family in the first one.
00:02:47.000 But essentially, she's... 1.00
00:02:49.000 Like, regardless, it's not a surprise in the second one when they do establish that.
00:02:53.000 Regardless, she's playing a working woman, blue collar, who's good at her job, but is also 100% woman. 0.97
00:03:04.000 One of the big things you can notice is that she's actually not a very good gung-ho leader.
00:03:11.000 When the captain of the ship dies, she's the next one in command, and she is not a very good leader.
00:03:18.000 Because, generally speaking, good female leaders are very, very few and far between. 1.00
00:03:25.000 I've met a few, but they are very few and far between.
00:03:29.000 And then the few I've met are...
00:03:34.000 They're exceptional.
00:03:35.000 They're not a normal, bell-curving person.
00:03:39.000 Wonderful people, but they're not a normal person.
00:03:42.000 Whereas Ripley is a normal, 100% female woman in the first movie. 0.98
00:03:48.000 And everybody on that ship, everybody in the first movie, is...
00:03:55.000 They're good people.
00:03:57.000 They're blue collar.
00:03:58.000 They're not, you know, they're not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
00:04:02.000 But they're decent people.
00:04:05.000 They have the rough and tumble, blue collar humor. 0.99
00:04:09.000 And they do start to panic and everything goes to shit once the alien's on board. 0.98
00:04:15.000 But they are likable. 0.96
00:04:16.000 You care about these people.
00:04:19.000 Same thing in the second movie.
00:04:21.000 Once again, we have Ripley not taking a leadership role.
00:04:26.000 Her leadership role in the first movie went to hell.
00:04:29.000 In the second movie, she's taking a mothering role.
00:04:33.000 She's acting like a mother to all of these space marines.
00:04:36.000 And these space marines are decent people.
00:04:40.000 They are good salt of the earth, rough and tumble, but decent people at the end of the day.
00:04:48.000 There's the one scene that I absolutely love.
00:04:52.000 Where the one female marine is doing chin-ups. 1.00
00:05:00.000 And one of the guys says to her,
00:05:02.000 Has anybody ever mistaken you for a man?
00:05:04.000 And she looks at him and says,
00:05:06.000 No, has anybody ever mistaken you for a man?
00:05:09.000 And I think the typical sort of liberal that you get writing in Hollywood nowadays
00:05:17.000 sees this as a really scary and mean interaction.
00:05:21.000 Look at how mean and gritty these people are. 1.00
00:05:24.000 No, you idiot! 1.00
00:05:26.000 That's how soldiers say I love you. 1.00
00:05:28.000 They make fun of each other.
00:05:30.000 When these two share that joke,
00:05:33.000 you can tell that these two respect each other.
00:05:37.000 That they've worked together before.
00:05:39.000 That they're just punching each other in the shoulder.
00:05:42.000 You know, because these people do not bruise easily.
00:05:46.000 These are solid, likable, decent, good people in this movie. 0.98
00:05:53.000 And that's why when everything goes to the fuck later on, 0.95
00:06:00.000 you care so much about these anonymous space marines whose names you don't even remember. 0.98
00:06:07.000 Because they're good people.
00:06:12.000 But the liberal can't tell that.
00:06:13.000 They see the insults.
00:06:14.000 They see the sexual harassment.
00:06:18.000 Which again, that's how men relate to each other.
00:06:21.000 We sexually harass one another.
00:06:26.000 And they just see meanness.
00:06:27.000 So then you get to the third movie. 0.91
00:06:32.000 And the third movie was just such a complete piece of poo that I don't even need to go into it. 0.99
00:06:39.000 All the characters are despicable criminals. 0.98
00:06:43.000 They kill off two of the main characters from the second movie. 1.00
00:06:50.000 It's just garbage. 0.98
00:06:51.000 I can't even remember that terrible, terrible movie. 0.99
00:06:54.000 So let's just move on from that pile of depression.
00:07:01.000 Then you get movie number four. 1.00
00:07:05.000 First off, every character is an asshole. 0.99
00:07:10.000 In the first two movies, you kind of have this sense that there's something suspicious going on with the corporation. 1.00
00:07:20.000 Especially in the second movie, you've got that one flim flam CEO scam artist that talks Ripley into going onto this whole trip. 0.99
00:07:29.000 When really what they're trying to get is somebody impregnated with an alien.
00:07:33.000 But that's the sort of villainy you can actually believe in.
00:07:41.000 Where they're not twirling their mustaches and going on about how evil they are like some sort of umbrella corporation. 0.96
00:07:48.000 But they're a bunch of psychotic CEO scam artists that don't care about people and are manipulating them. 0.97
00:07:55.000 They are the exceptions. 0.97
00:07:57.000 Most people in the company are decent enough folk. 1.00
00:08:00.000 It's the few people pulling the strings at the top are assholes. 1.00
00:08:05.000 But no, in the fourth movie, everybody that works for the company is a psychopathic, sadistic asshole. 1.00
00:08:15.000 Then you get the mercenaries. 1.00
00:08:17.000 And the mercenaries are the biggest bunch of douchebags you've ever seen. 0.86
00:08:23.000 The one bit that really stands out to me is where one of them, one of the guys is in a wheelchair, you know, even though it's the future. 0.97
00:08:31.000 But he's in a wheelchair and one of them drops a dagger, like from a story up into his leg.
00:08:36.000 Which you can't feel, but you could still potentially kill the guy.
00:08:43.000 Who acts like that?
00:08:44.000 What sort of crew of a ship, what sort of group of mercenaries acts like that? 1.00
00:08:51.000 They're all the biggest assholes in the universe. 1.00
00:08:55.000 They're terrible, terrible people. 1.00
00:08:58.000 But to the liberals writing this whole bloody thing, you know, they saw the space marines punching each other in the shoulders in Alien 2. 0.95
00:09:10.000 So in Alien 4, they have them stabbing each other.
00:09:14.000 And this is the movie where Ripley goes from being a strong woman to an empowered woman. 0.50
00:09:28.000 They have that whole sexual tension between her and the girl android. 0.99
00:09:33.000 She murders her own child. 0.99
00:09:37.000 And she acts like Miss Tough Space Marine superhero. 1.00
00:09:43.000 Which, you know, okay, yes, she has alien DNA in her, which is stupid for all of its own reasons. 1.00
00:09:48.000 But she's not acting like Ripley. 0.99
00:09:51.000 Ripley was always a mother.
00:09:53.000 She was a mother to the troops in Aliens.
00:09:56.000 She was more of a matronly figure with her crew, which is when the patriarch dies, things really go to hell. 0.99
00:10:05.000 But especially, especially to Newt.
00:10:09.000 In Aliens, she is just completely 100% loving, strong woman. 0.92
00:10:15.000 As Heinlein said, it's motherly love that can turn 15 pounds of female cat into a vicious death beast when it chases off a junkyard dog from her kittens.
00:10:33.000 That was Ripley in the old movies.
00:10:37.000 The mother cat that you do not want to mess with.
00:10:40.000 All of a sudden, she's just as good as the boys and, look, I'm emaciated and my muscles are showing off.
00:10:49.000 It makes me look sickly. 1.00
00:10:51.000 I'm going to be a jerk and try and associate with men the same way the dyke in Aliens did. 1.00
00:11:01.000 Out of garbage. 1.00
00:11:03.000 So you hate all these characters. 1.00
00:11:05.000 They're bad people. They're jerks. 1.00
00:11:06.000 You don't feel like you'd want to ever grab a beer with any of these people. 1.00
00:11:10.000 And this was just brought to a T in Prometheus.
00:11:19.000 First off, the science of the Alien movies has been getting progressively worse as the movies go on.
00:11:24.000 In this third movie, they're mixing alien and human DNA, which is retarded. 0.99
00:11:32.000 And in Prometheus, I'm sorry, in the fourth movie, they're doing that. 0.99
00:11:36.000 In Prometheus, it's, what, like, just idiotic. 1.00
00:11:42.000 Completely idiotic. 1.00
00:11:43.000 But you've got this stupid female protagonist who has this complete beta schlub of a boyfriend. 1.00
00:11:56.000 You've got these biologists taking off their helmets in dangerous alien environments. 1.00
00:12:01.000 It's just absolutely ridiculous and asinine. 1.00
00:12:06.000 But she, not only does she become the alpha lead character, and all the white males are evil, and there's that bitchy Nazi blonde girl. 1.00
00:12:20.000 She even gives herself her own abortion in the movie. 1.00
00:12:22.000 The thing's a complete train wreck.
00:12:28.000 Uh, you can't follow what's going on. 1.00
00:12:31.000 The science fiction is utter, utter garbage. 0.98
00:12:34.000 And, you know, if they'd done it right, sure, okay, um, aliens create the human race. 0.99
00:12:39.000 I would have gone for that if they'd done it right. 1.00
00:12:41.000 But, no, it's, it's a joke, it's preposterous, and all of the characters are assholes. 0.99
00:12:48.000 Hollywood does not know how to write real men anymore. 0.99
00:12:57.000 They write caricatures of real men.
00:13:00.000 They write caricatures of men getting along in military units.
00:13:03.000 None of these guys have ever served in the military.
00:13:07.000 And so they take these rough-and-tumble marines from aliens, and they try and rewrite those characters,
00:13:14.000 except they don't understand the dynamic.
00:13:16.000 They don't understand what's really going on. 1.00
00:13:18.000 So, they write assholes. 1.00
00:13:21.000 Bunch of pricks, every single one of which deserves to die. 1.00
00:13:27.000 And they wonder why these movies aren't scary anymore. 0.99
00:13:30.000 Because seeing a bunch of subhumans like that get taken out by an alien is an act of cosmic justice, not an act of cosmic horror.
00:13:44.000 Hollywood, could we please return to real men and strong women that take care of babies as opposed to performing their own abortions? 0.99
00:13:55.000 Just an idea.
00:13:57.000 Just an idea.